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No doubt about it
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I'm on my way
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Taking over
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I'm here to stay-ay-ay
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One day you'll be looking
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But things'll come my way
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Don't drop, don' t tell me to stop
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Cos I' ll be taking over today
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I'm taking over this whole place
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I'm on my way to outer space
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Borderline S01E01 - Profiling
subs by havenofear
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More and more people
visit the UK each year.
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At Northend Airport, border agents
deal with this influx every day.
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This morning, Chief Inspector
Linda Proctor introduces her team
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to the most recent strategy on
handling the complex and sensitive
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00:00:45,933 --> 00:00:48,000
issue of immigration.
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The Home Office have issued
a new directive.
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The three Os.
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''Out Of the Ordinary.'"
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If you see anything out of
the ordinary, first detain it,
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then find out about it.
Stop first, ask questions later.
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00:01:02,933 --> 00:01:06,467
Andy? What qualifies as
out of the ordinary?
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00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,667
Well, like a man with a bomb, or...
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A guy in a turban? Yeah.
No ! No, absolutely not.
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Sorry, Karim. I don't care. Well,
you're asking us to detain anything
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00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,000
out of the ordinary without
due process. Sounds like profiling.
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No! No-one should be using
that word.
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Grant? What's profiling?
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What you do every day, Grant.
No, I don't.
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Do I? Actually, you do. Yeah.
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Oh, come on, man.
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Aw, man.
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I mean...
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I'm definitely going to have to...
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00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,200
ask you some questions.
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00:01:44,267 --> 00:01:47,267
I mean, come on.
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This is not coming from me,
this is from the Home Office.
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My bosses. Your employers.
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00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,867
So, you know, we have to
do what they say.
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00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:57,533
Because this is a great place
to work, right, Clive?
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00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,000
Yes, ma'am!
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I really like working here.
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00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:04,533
When I was at school I did a test
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00:02:04,613 --> 00:02:07,400
and they said that
this is the job I should do.
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00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:12,700
Um...
And I was like, "OK."
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What can we do to show the Home
Office that we are being tougher?
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Drugs! What?
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I detained a traveller with drugs.
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So...
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Drugs. Well, that's great!
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Obviously, that's terrible, but
it's a step in the right direction.
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Status on that?
Hold on, hold on, hold on, OK.
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I'll be five... Countdown from
five... I'm just getting...
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00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:42,067
Here we go, I got it, I got it,
and I'm back.
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His name is Kier...
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No... wrong file. Wrong file.
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I've been Chief Inspector here at
Northend for ten years now, on and off.
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We don't talk about the off bit,
it was just stress.
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OK.
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His name is Stefano Rocco.
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00:03:09,867 --> 00:03:15,533
He is a DJ in from Ibiza and I found
three grams of cocaine in him -
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on him. On him.
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On his person.
DJ Stefano Rocco?
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Correct.
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00:03:23,867 --> 00:03:25,733
Great news for
Chief Inspector Proctor,
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00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:27,667
but bad news for one of her agents,
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00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,267
as DJ Stefano Rocco turns out to be
a familiar face.
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00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:33,000
I'm agent Tariq Mansoor.
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00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:35,600
I know that guy from my DJing days.
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I'm a DJ. You can found
my SoundCloud, DJ Merlin,
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hit me up, I do events.
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00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,000
Last one I did was for some A-level
college students.
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One of them said their grandad
was Michael Caine or something.
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So, networking.
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So you're going to be transferred
over to the police
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and officially arrested.
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And then if you do not have one,
you will be appointed a lawyer,
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just like in movies and TV.
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00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,267
Oh, man. OK, so this is like
a real thing?
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'Yeah, I've been arrested'
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a few times.
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Largely for being too sick at my job
and blowing everyone's eardrums
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into another dimension!
HE LAUGHS
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00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:18,000
No, no, it was for tax and...
Tax.
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Agent Mansoor isn't the only one
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00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,400
finding himself
in a tricky situation.
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00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:23,933
Following standard procedure,
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Senior Agent Brodie explains to a
traveller why he has been detained.
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00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:32,533
I don't want you to think you are
being profiled here, Mr Mahmood.
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00:04:32,733 --> 00:04:35,267
It's just you've come here
looking...
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00:04:39,867 --> 00:04:41,800
Listen, it's like this, right?
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See if I was to go to Bahrain,
right, you know, looking like this?
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You'd be like, "Look at that guy!"
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"With all his freckles
and his ginger hair."
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00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:56,067
You'd be like, "Who's
this character running about?"
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00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:03,267
You really don't speak any English,
do you? You really don't.
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00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:07,133
I'm looking a wee bit silly.
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00:05:10,467 --> 00:05:13,427
You know that guy who came in
from Bulgaria?
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00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:15,333
Big, really sweaty.
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00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,267
Smells like onions?
Yeah, yeah.
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Do you mind just having a look at
his file for a second? Yeah, sure.
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You're it! Oh, you...!
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SHE LAUGHS
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00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,267
'How long have I been here?
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'Three years. Almost three years.'
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00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:33,500
I don't hate it. You know if...
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00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:37,800
if liking it is here
and hating it is here, I'm...
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just trying not to think about it.
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00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,933
Andy, can I have a word?
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After meeting some resistance
at this morning's briefing,
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00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:48,467
Chief Inspector Proctor
is determined to re-establish
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the chain of command,
starting with Agent Church.
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00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,600
Andy...
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You were great in there.
Gave me the third degree, very fun.
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Oh, I didn't mean to. No, it's all
right, I'm not offended or anything.
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Right, I just don't think
that we should profile people,
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so I thought I should say that.
Shhh, shhh!
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Andy, can I level with you?
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I can see a lot of myself in you.
Oh... No, I mean that, genuinely.
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00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:15,800
I know you do. I need to make sure
that you and I are on the same page.
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00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:18,600
Yeah, because I see us as friends,
Andy. I see, yeah.
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Is that everything? Yeah.
123
00:06:21,867 --> 00:06:23,467
But we are friends, right?
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Yep, uh-huh.
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OK, great.
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00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:30,700
Say it.
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Actually, I didn't always want
to be Chief Inspector in an airport.
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00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:41,533
I actually used to want to be
a prima ballerina.
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00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:46,133
But I was 11 stone
at ten years of age!
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00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,600
LAUGHING: Morbidly obese!
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Unable to avoid it any longer,
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Agent Mansoor finally decides
to say hello to his old friend.
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00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,600
Stefano, hey, man.
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00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:01,467
No..
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00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,667
no...
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00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:06,933
Yeah! I want to say, like, Pre...
137
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,000
Tariq. Tariq, yeah, no!
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00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:12,667
God, excuse me, so good to see you.
139
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,333
You look nice. Thank you. Yeah.
140
00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:17,467
So, what happened?
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00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:20,000
I don't know, man.
It was just, like, one single
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and I just, like, blew up.
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00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:25,400
I'm, like, a properly famous DJ now.
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I just opened for Tiesto in Vegas.
Me!
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THEY LAUGH
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00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,267
Oh, shit, have you been to Vegas?
147
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,667
No. Oh, it's crazy, it's, no,
it's... No, it's really nice.
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00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:40,467
Literally, really, so nice.
149
00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:44,533
So, like, what are you doing?
Are you playing still?
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00:07:44,667 --> 00:07:48,333
Yeah, little bit. Really?
Yeah. Can I come?
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00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,333
OK, so, like,
what are you doing here?
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00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,267
It's just a side thing.
153
00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:55,200
In between gigs.
154
00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:57,200
Oh.
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00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:58,467
Cool.
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00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:02,733
Cool.
157
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,333
Despite being a small airport,
Northend can still get very busy
158
00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:09,067
so it's crucial that the agents
use their downtime
159
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,800
as productively as possible.
160
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,200
Truth or Dare?
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00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,733
Um... Truth. Truth.
162
00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:18,067
Yeah.
163
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:23,133
Oh, God, I'm going to have to be
so truthful.
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00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:26,667
OK. Unless you want to do the dare.
Yeah. Do you want to do Dare?
165
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,200
Yeah, maybe Dare.
166
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,867
No, but I don't want to
do anything weird.
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It won't be weird.
Truth, truth, truth.
168
00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:36,933
Truth. Please, still...
169
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:40,533
Don't hate me if I say something...
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00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,867
We can... Dare! Go, we'll do Dare.
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00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,867
Because, if it's something easy...
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00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:51,000
Truth. Ask me who is...
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00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,267
No, we choose, we decide.
No, wait, Truth.
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00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,867
And I have to be truthful.
Ask me who...
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00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,667
is my least favourite person
in the office.
176
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,800
Clive, who's your least favourite
person in the office?
177
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:06,800
Oh, why did I get you
to ask me that?
178
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:09,267
Chief Inspector Proctor
needs to get her team on board
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00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,400
with the new Home Office directives.
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00:09:11,533 --> 00:09:14,667
Luckily, she has strong
relationships with all departments
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00:09:14,733 --> 00:09:16,133
at the airport.
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00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:18,400
Hi, Mo. Hi, Suj, how are you?
183
00:09:18,533 --> 00:09:20,800
What are you doing here?
184
00:09:20,933 --> 00:09:23,600
What do you mean?
You don't come down here.
185
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,867
Yes, I do. No, you don't.
186
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,600
'Yeah, my name's Mo Khan.'
187
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:32,000
Been working at this airport
for, like, six months now, I think.
188
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,300
Let me just put this on camera
so everyone knows, yeah?
189
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,200
This job is shit. But don't worry
about that, I'm just here
190
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:40,067
for the dough, yeah? And I've got
LOADS of things going on, bro.
191
00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:41,333
I was killing it last year,
192
00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:44,133
I got to the final round of
auditions for The Apprentice.
193
00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:46,000
But they didn't put me on the show.
194
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,333
I wonder why?
195
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,067
Look, Borderline's got some new
directives and that means I have to
196
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,533
coordinate across the whole airport,
especially with baggage handlers.
197
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,933
I'm supposed to look out for
anything, you know,
198
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,067
out of the ordinary. Trying to say
me and Suj look out of the ordinary?
199
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:07,800
No, no, no, I m talking to you
specifically because...
200
00:10:07,933 --> 00:10:10,667
Because we're Muslim?
Yeah, it's cos we're Muslim.
201
00:10:10,747 --> 00:10:13,600
Yeah, I'm afraid to tell Mo
I'm not muslim.
202
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,600
I don't know why he thinks I am one.
203
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,300
I don't even look like one.
204
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:22,400
Today I'm talking to you
because of this new directive.
205
00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:26,600
And? And you're baggage handlers
and you might be able to help,
206
00:10:26,733 --> 00:10:29,200
sort of be my man on the inside.
207
00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:32,533
Oh, Linda, you want a brown man
on your inside, yeah?
208
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,733
No, no, no, it's Proctor.
209
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,933
I could be that guy,
you know, Linda? Yeah.
210
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:40,000
Anyway, listen, just chill, yeah?
We just playin' with you.
211
00:10:40,133 --> 00:10:43,267
Get this straight. We work for
the airport and not Borderline.
212
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,933
We ain't helping you, man. All you
lot do is stop and search people
213
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,467
who look like me and Suj anyway.
214
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,267
We ain't about to help you
put our people in cuffs and that.
215
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,667
Well... thank you for your input.
216
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,867
Thank you for keeping us safe, yeah?
217
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,133
You know, cos he'll-he'll hurt me.
218
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:08,000
Not cos he's Muslim.
Because he's quite big.
219
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,733
You know, he's a bit of an arsehole,
isn't he?
220
00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:12,200
Mm!
221
00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:22,233
It's afternoon at Borderline
and Senior Agent Brodie has hit
222
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:26,167
a stumbling block with the traveller
he detained earlier this morning.
223
00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:32,967
Tariq.
224
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,900
Quick question for you.
225
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:39,367
Yeah, sure. So, I've got this
Mr Mahmood in detention
226
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:42,633
and he's from Bhuran...
227
00:11:42,767 --> 00:11:45,967
Bahrain?
Bahrain, yes.
228
00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:48,500
Well, there's a wee bit of
a language barrier here,
229
00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:50,033
and I was thinking maybe
230
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,767
you could maybe help speed up
the process a wee bit.
231
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:54,367
I don't speak Arabic.
232
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:57,100
Really? Oh, but you're, um...
233
00:11:58,833 --> 00:12:02,367
Egyptian? Oh, right.
234
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:05,367
I'm actually half Egyptian,
it doesn't mean I speak Arabic.
235
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,300
What's going on, guys? Grant thought
because I'm half Egyptian
236
00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:10,767
I speak Arabic.
No, I was asking everyone.
237
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,700
No, it was just me. No,
I was asking everyone. Just me.
238
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,700
Here, Andy, can you speak Arabic?
239
00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,367
No, I can't, Grant.
240
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,633
You know Tariq's English, right?
241
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:23,233
Yep, yeah.
242
00:12:25,433 --> 00:12:27,300
Can you speak Arabic?
243
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:36,767
Concerned that her team has yet to
spot anything "out of the ordinary",
244
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:40,833
Chief Inspector Proctor
decides to lead by example.
245
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:44,700
Sorry, could you please remove
your... shirt?
246
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:47,433
I m joking, can you take
your hat off? Thank you.
247
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:56,633
Welcome to the UK.
248
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:58,900
So I see you've just
let that gentleman through.
249
00:12:59,033 --> 00:13:00,833
Well, nothing out of the ordinary
there.
250
00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:03,833
It's just that this directive
really needs implementing,
251
00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:06,567
so do you mind if I join you
on the next traveller?
252
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:10,367
Join me? Yeah, just to make sure
you and I are on the same page.
253
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:11,633
Yes, sir.
254
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:20,500
So, I can see that you are from
Denmark.
255
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:24,300
There's a red flag. Are you alert?
Let's dig a little deeper.
256
00:13:24,367 --> 00:13:27,033
We can see that in 2011
257
00:13:27,167 --> 00:13:32,233
he also travelled to
the Gatwick South Terminal.
258
00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:35,100
So that's OK.
259
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,967
Thank you, welcome to the UK.
260
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,367
Sorry, can you just... ?
261
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:52,967
Yeah.
262
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,167
Occupied. Hey, man,
you know that Bulgarian...
263
00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,700
Hey, man. Hey, man.
264
00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:03,500
You know the Bulgarian traveller,
hefty guy? I don't want to...
265
00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:05,500
The one that smells like
a cheese sandwich?
266
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:08,500
Yeah, I've got his form here, and
I'm just confused about something,
267
00:14:08,633 --> 00:14:11,233
I was just wondering i f you could
have a look at it?
268
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:13,633
Oh, OK. You're it!
269
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:17,033
Oh!
LAUGHING: You got me good!
270
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:19,300
Oh, I love games!
271
00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:22,100
Oh, you're a dead man,
you are a dead man.
272
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,233
You still here?
273
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:29,033
Passport control was not a success
for Proctor.
274
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:32,233
Feeling the pressure,
she calls an emergency meeting.
275
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:34,100
During the briefing this morning
276
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:38,100
I made it quite clear that we need
to be tougher. Where's my numbers?
277
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:40,233
Well, there's been no-one to stop.
278
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:43,300
So if there's nothing out of the
ordinary, what do you want us to do,
279
00:14:43,433 --> 00:14:46,300
invent stats? No, no, no,
don't invent stats.
280
00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:48,700
But some stats would be nice.
281
00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:52,833
I just want you all to...
just think more open-mindedly.
282
00:14:52,967 --> 00:14:54,367
I think you mean close-mindedly.
283
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:57,233
No, Andy, that's not what I mean
and I think you know that.
284
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,567
Drugs. Tariq and I
have processed Stefano...
285
00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:02,767
Sit down, Clive, that's old news.
You told us that this morning.
286
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:07,900
Oh, right. I just need this entire
room, this entire airport,
287
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:10,367
to start taking me seriously.
288
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,167
We seriously think these new
directives are ridiculous.
289
00:15:13,233 --> 00:15:16,567
It's not about what you think,
Andy, it's about what you do.
290
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:17,700
Grow up!
291
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:24,033
So, I'm confused.
292
00:15:24,167 --> 00:15:26,567
Are we profiling or not?
293
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,833
'What do I think about Proctor?'
294
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,300
Oh, it's fine.
295
00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:34,700
People deal with stress
in different ways.
296
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,900
I make these inflatable hands.
297
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:45,700
Agent Mansoor is processing
his old friend, DJ Stefano Rocco,
298
00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:48,100
who was detained when three grams
of cocaine
299
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:50,033
were found in his possession.
300
00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:52,967
Every time I play a track,
the crowd just go crazy.
301
00:15:53,167 --> 00:15:56,300
They're just, like, electric and,
like, I can just hear them, like,
302
00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:59,100
"We think this is great. " Saying
stuff like that. That's amazing.
303
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:02,700
there's a 50-foot screen behind me.
And it's, like, they're filming me,
304
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:05,167
so it's like projecting me on to it
so the crowd can, like,
305
00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:06,767
see me spinning and I'm, like,
306
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,567
swearing and giving them a sense
of who I am through the camera.
307
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:12,833
And, you know, so then I put on
a track and I duck down
308
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:16,500
behind the booth to do
a line of coke. And they cheer.
309
00:16:16,567 --> 00:16:20,167
It's only when iturn around halfway
through the set I realise, hmmm,
310
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:22,567
they're actually filming everything.
311
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:26,233
So embarrassing! But not, you know,
because that's my persona.
312
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:28,167
I need to, you know...
313
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,233
That's so cool.
..not be ashamed.
314
00:16:30,433 --> 00:16:33,567
This whole thing is, l ike,
so silly and funny.
315
00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:37,700
It's not even my gak,
it's my sister's.
316
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:42,033
She's not, like, a fiend, she just,
like, she needs it, cos, like,
317
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,900
it makes her feel great.
318
00:16:44,033 --> 00:16:46,700
After completing the interview
with Mr Mahmood,
319
00:16:46,833 --> 00:16:49,567
Agent Brodie conducts a search
of his luggage.
320
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:52,433
I am now opening the bag
in front of the witness.
321
00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:55,700
Seems to be clothes.
322
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:03,633
Oasis! You like Oasis?
323
00:17:03,767 --> 00:17:05,767
I like Oasis, too,
that's unbelievable!
324
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,433
What about that, Clive, eh?
325
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,967
Oh, what's your... ?
326
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,167
Oh, God. Oh, that's annoying,
327
00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:14,833
I want to be able to have a wee chat
with him about it.
328
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,700
Oh, I can speak Arabic.
329
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,500
No, I can't.
330
00:17:26,033 --> 00:17:28,033
'Aye, I let him go.'
331
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:32,800
Truth is, I profiled him and I
thought he was out of the ordinary.
332
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,500
Turns out, he's, he's no,
he's pretty ordinary guy.
333
00:17:36,833 --> 00:17:39,033
Was hard to communicate with him,
though,
334
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:42,767
because he's from the Bahrain
and, well, they...
335
00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:45,233
probably dinnae have much money
over there.
336
00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:48,433
Education and wealth I take for
granted cos I'm from Scotland.
337
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:50,300
So we've got all the oil money.
338
00:17:50,367 --> 00:17:53,700
Cool, man. After answering
all of Agent Mansoor's questions,
339
00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:56,767
DJ Stefano Rocco has one of his own.
340
00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:03,500
Erm...
341
00:18:03,633 --> 00:18:05,433
Hey, man...
342
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:06,900
Uh...
343
00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:08,967
I could really use your help.
344
00:18:10,833 --> 00:18:13,567
Obviously. What do you mean?
345
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:16,567
Look, I'm in a bit of
a tricky situation.
346
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:19,700
You caught me coming through
the border with seven grams...
347
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:23,100
Three grams.
Three grams of coke, sorry.
348
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:25,633
We used to do, like,
three grams a night together.
349
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:28,633
Oh, no, I have never done cocaine.
You have! We did it together.
350
00:18:28,767 --> 00:18:32,727
I've never done it.
But you can help me, surely.
351
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:35,100
I can't actually do anything.
352
00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:40,167
Y-you can, because if you do
something for me I can help you.
353
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:43,367
Like, what DJ do you want
your music sending out to?
354
00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:46,700
What club nights do you want to do?
Do you want to do a night?
355
00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:49,633
I really do want to do a night...
You really do want to do a night.
356
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:51,033
So, OK...
357
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:54,033
Come on, Tallal, help me.
358
00:18:57,767 --> 00:19:00,433
My name is Tariq.
Tariq, right. Mm.
359
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,233
Hey!
360
00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:08,100
Sorry to break up the reunion.
What did I miss?
361
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,567
''We're both DJs...''
362
00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:15,300
Um, but the police are here,
and you're going to jail.
363
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,833
'It's quite a day. I actually
learned something about myself,'
364
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,633
which never happens!
365
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:25,367
I learnt that I'd rather be here
366
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:26,767
than in jail.
367
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:30,967
Until this day I never thought
I'd say those words.
368
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,367
Guess where I'm going this weekend?
Where? The Shire.
369
00:19:39,433 --> 00:19:42,633
The Shire? Yep. It's just green
and lovely there, isn't it?
370
00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,500
It's really nice, yes.
371
00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:46,500
I'm going to hang out
with some hobbits.
372
00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:49,167
Are there horses there?
Small horses.
373
00:19:49,233 --> 00:19:51,633
Small horses.
Yeah, like Shire-sized horses.
374
00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:54,500
Right, OK. And they'll
take your weight... ?
375
00:19:54,633 --> 00:19:56,633
Excuse me? The...
376
00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:59,500
Sorry, you're concerned whether
the horse on my holiday
377
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:03,633
will take my weight? If it's, like,
small horse. Guess where I'm going?
378
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,767
Where are you going?
Gotham City.
379
00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:07,900
Gotham! Batman. Mm-hm.
380
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:10,233
Wow, that's quite a dangerous place.
381
00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:12,833
Well, I can handle it.
Are you going to be OK?
382
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:14,433
I fancied a city break.
383
00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:27,433
Hey, Andy. You know the traveller
from Bulgaria?
384
00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:29,033
No.
385
00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,033
The traveller from Bulgaria.
He's big,
386
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:33,500
sweaty and smells like
French cheese.
387
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:37,833
Oh, yeah... No, I have no idea
who he is. Yeah, you do.
388
00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:41,567
You know who he is.
I have no idea, no.
389
00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:44,100
All right.
390
00:20:44,233 --> 00:20:46,100
Different question.
391
00:20:46,167 --> 00:20:47,700
Completely new topic.
392
00:20:47,833 --> 00:20:49,900
Can you hold this file for a second?
No, I'm OK.
393
00:20:49,967 --> 00:20:53,633
Please. No. Please hold it.
No. Just hold it for one second.
394
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:57,033
No. I'm not going to hold it.
395
00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:01,967
Each to their own. I'll let you
get back on with your work.
396
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:03,500
You're it. No!
397
00:21:03,633 --> 00:21:05,900
After a late call
from her superiors,
398
00:21:05,967 --> 00:21:10,567
a weary Chief Inspector Proctor
address her team one last time.
399
00:21:10,633 --> 00:21:15,233
Good news. It turns out the problems
we've all been having
400
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:18,367
with the three Os - not isolated.
401
00:21:18,433 --> 00:21:20,833
I just got off the phone
from the Home Office
402
00:21:20,967 --> 00:21:24,433
and apparently every Borderline
department in the UK
403
00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:27,900
finds the three Os
"morally questionable".
404
00:21:27,967 --> 00:21:29,833
So let's just move on,
405
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:33,100
start afresh tomorrow
and pretend today never happened.
406
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:38,367
From time to time the Home Office
like to send down memos
407
00:21:38,433 --> 00:21:42,900
and initiatives and we try to adhere
to their request, ridiculous or not.
408
00:21:43,033 --> 00:21:47,367
It's our job. But if they only knew
how good we are here at Borderline,
409
00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:52,567
and leave us be, then the UK would
be the safest country in the world.
410
00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:55,033
It would still be run by
pig-fucking cunts,
411
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:57,300
but it would definitely be
the safest.
412
00:21:57,433 --> 00:22:00,460
No doubt about it
413
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:02,500
I'm on my way
414
00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:04,567
Taking over
415
00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:06,433
I'm here to stay-ay-ay
416
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:09,260
One day you'll be looking
417
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:10,860
But things'll come my way
418
00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:12,860
Don't drop, don't tell me to stop
419
00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:15,060
Cos I'll be taking over today
420
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:19,393
I'm taking over this whole place
421
00:22:19,433 --> 00:22:21,700
? I'm on my way to outer space... ?
422
00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:26,300
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