All language subtitles for Blunt Talk s01e05 The Queen of Hearts.eng

Previously on Blunt Talk.

I think I'll go to the gambling meeting.

Good idea. You love to gamble.

- [gasps] Are those real?
- Of course they are.

Mr. Blunt. Stay and have a cup of coffee.

Mr. Daniel Craig and Mr. Jeffrey Katzenberg

are just finishing their dessert.

I know we've only just met, Gisele,

but thank you for being kind to me.

You know where my keys are?

You can remember poetry,
but you lose your keys.

- I guess so.
- Jim, open your door.

SHELLY: He's a hoarder.

I'm gonna pay for you to see my analyst.

This freakish storm is the perfect backdrop

for talking about what we're
doing to the environment.

Well, there's a family in LA,

I mean, they're hoping
that by having no impact

they'll have an impact.

Yes, that's what I need.

A shift in consciousness
at the grassroots level.

Celia, that is a message I can work with.

Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com

[grunting]

Ooh.

10 strikes to the abdomen today, sir.

- Very good.
- Thank you, Harry.

[panting]

But why am I keeping

my organism so pristine, Harry?

I mean, what's the
point of all this fitness

if I don't put it to good use erotically?

- Preparedness, Major.
- Check the log.

When was the last time that
I needed to be prepared?

Suffocation nightmares,

books read, famous friends,

strange and beautiful coincidences,

healthy bowels.

Why don't you alphabetize the log, Harry?

I've told you this more than once.

The log is my domain, Major.

Oh, here we are, love making.

It's been seven months, sir,

since you had proper intercourse.

And with whom did I have proper
intercourse seven months ago?

Margaret, an attractive fan

you met at the Gelson's Market.

You just signed your divorce papers,

became intoxicated, and
went shopping without me.

Margaret? [sighs]

It's rather an alcoholic blur, Harry.

Is there a phone number?

Uh, yes, sir, but it's specifically notated

that you're not to see her again.

After making love, she wept, vomited,

and you found antipsychotic
pills in her medicine cabinet.

Well, so much for Margaret.

[piano playing]

[indistinct chatter]

You know, I just wanted to see you, Walter,

and thank you

for being my bottom that night.

Hey... [laughs]

Gisele, we were only
together for a few minutes.

Oh... [laughs]

That would have been fun.

Um, I mean my emotional bottom.

Ah. Getting arrested.

It was truly a wake up call for me.

And for me too. I am trying
to turn everything around.

My life, my show,

my relationship with my young son.

And, uh, mere detail,

but I'd like to help save the planet.

Those are all amazing goals, Walter.

What are your goals, Gisele?

What do you want from
our shared wake up call?

I'm finally gonna settle down,

get out of the life.

Settle down?

I have someone who really loves me.

- Always has.
- I see.

I pushed him away for so long.

I didn't think I deserved to be loved.

Who's gonna love the tranny?

[chuckles]

But I want to stop wasting time.

Life feels like

it's just flying past me.

I understand. I often feel that way.

I wonder

where the hell has it gone, my life?

And then I think of that line

from The Red Shoes.

"Time rushes by, life rushes by,

but the red shoes go on dancing forever."

[chuckles]

I'll see you and raise you 300,

you nasty piece of work.

I take my ros? straight. Thank you, Teddy.

[ice cube clunks]

Your turn, beanpole.

Yes. Sorry. I'm just...

just let me...

I will raise you one.

DIANE: Okay, you know
we play by Vegas rules.

That white chip is worth $1,000.

Oh! Drop it, girlie.

You already bet.

Is it possible just this
one time to start over?

No do-overs. This is poker.
It's not plastic surgery.

- Right, Mel?
- Screw you.

Ooh. [laughs]

[all groan] Motherfucking hell.

Celia, that's you.

What, I won?

[laughs]

Where'd you find this idiot savant?

The BBC.

[laughs]

[piano playing]

[people chatting]

Mind if I join you, Mr. Blunt?

Oh, sure, Phil.

Stan.

I couldn't help but notice

you were with quite a
stunning lady tonight.

Oh, yes.

But it turns out she's just a friend.

I haven't had much luck
with romance lately.

[chuckles] I understand.

I haven't had sex since...

the 20th century.

What? Oh, my God.

Phil, I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

It's a gentle path.

No germs.

No hurt feelings.

I'm all in.

It's getting boring
taking your money, Rosalie.

So let's make it interesting.

If I win, you book my
client on Blunt Talk.

Which client of yours is
such an unappealing fungus

that you have to win a
bet to get 'em on air?

Suzanne Mayview.

[laughs] Tomorrow night. No bumping her.

Don't be ridiculous.

She's a far-right publicity whore.

Walter would never have her on.

Sweetheart, I think I'm gonna
turn in soon. Good night, everyone.

Good night, darling.

Teddy, where are your pants?

Oh, shit!

I spilled some hot sauce,
threw the pants in the wash,

then the mini quiche were burning.

It's all right, Teddy. Just go to bed.

I'm sorry, ladies.

Aw. Is... is Teddy all right?

He's fine. He's just...

Losing it. Mm.

I'll take the Mayview bet.

Rosalie, are you sure?

Cards, Diane.

Yes! [exhales]

- Oh.
- No bumping her.

WEISS: This hoarding is just a symptom.

Underneath the mess is always sex.

So what are you,

a breast man, a leg man,

or an ass man?

You don't have to be embarrassed, Jim.

For example, Walter is a breast man.

Because he never met his father,

he's fixated on the nipple

as his primary source of love.

Should you have told me that?

Uh, no, but you liked
hearing it, didn't you?

So what are you?

I'm a foot man.

And shoes. I like shoes.

Beautiful. I like the armpit.

But that's another story.

So what turns you on about the foot?

Okay. Well, um...

when I make love to a woman,

although it's been a while, um,

I... I start at the foot,

like a tiny boy with a miniature penis.

But by nursing on the foot

and smelling my own saliva,

I begin to...

to rise up like a beast,

the foot nourishing me, growing me,

until I'm this full-grown man

with a tusk-like phallus.

It's hooked.

It's pointed up at the stars, the cosmos,

the great wheel in the sky.

And then I take the woman,

pleasing her with my
manly hook, and then...

Zip your pants, Jimmy. I need you.

We're in session.

I don't care!

You've turned my newsroom
into a psych ward.

You're very aggressive.

I would like to get you on the couch.

I bet you would,

but I know what lurks deep inside me

and I'd rather leave it there.

[door closes]

ROSALIE: Celia!

Holy shit, Rosalie.

She's the Ann Coulter of the death penalty.

I know, I know.

Well, can't you renege?

It was just a bet in a ladies poker game.

Thanks for inviting me, by the way.

No, I can't renege.

Linda Wilcox reps everyone on the right,

the far right, and the extreme right.

Also some people in the center.

Well, what about the zero-impact family?

Walter's gonna hate bumping them.

Why are Jim and Celia in
your office and not me?

Because I want them here.

Don't be so needy. What's going on?

Just letting you know that
Walter's in the building.

Good. Now close the door, please.

Okay, but next time I'd like to be here

when you have a meeting.

I will not give this
woman a national platform.

She is pro-life and pro-death.

Her world view is completely muddled.

Then engage her.

I will not help this woman

sell a book that advocates
murder and vengeance.

- But, Walter...
- WALTER: No, Rosalie.

This is not up for discussion.

I want the zero-impact family.

They have the kind of message
that I need to get out.

A message of change.

Celia, Jim, you agree with me, don't you?

I'm sorry, Walter, but we all
think you should have Mayview on.

She needs to be publicly discredited.

I've already put a packet together.

And we'll rebook the zero-impact family

right away, I promise.

All three of you really
think this is the right idea?

ROSALIE: We do.

You know, Anderson Cooper had Mayview on,

and he didn't do well.

- He didn't?
- He was too soft.

You're hard.

Can you just let me keep 10 back
issues of The New Yorker?

I swear I'll read 'em.
I'll read 'em someday.

No, no, no, no. Dr. Weiss said
not to let you hold on to anything.

He said it'll help you
accept your sexuality

if you get rid of all this crap.

- He talked about my sexuality?
- [door opens]

Can you believe this woman is proposing

that executed prisoners should
have their organs harvested

without their consent?!

[door slams]

- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- Jim, no! Stop it!

- No, come on, Martin.
- Get off!

No!

[both grunting]

How are the horses, Harry?

I'm on one of those streaks, Celia,

that makes you feel like a schoolgirl

who's just had her first kiss

from the handsome bad boy
who tastes like cigarettes.

I understand. I'd never
played cards before,

but last night I won a lot of money,

and it was better than
being with my magician.

How is your magician?

- [sighs] He disappeared.
- Magically?

- No, he went back to his wife.
- Ah.

And I don't know if I'm having
some sort of weird reaction,

but gambling feels better than sex.

Sounds like you've met the Queen of Hearts.

- How much did you win?
- [whispers] $5,000.

[quietly] Would you like to win some more?

Very much.

- How did this stuff end up in there?
- Aah!

[panting]

I don't know. My tidal system was off.

Some things would swim in and not swim out.

Oh, bullshit.

This woman believes that victims' families

should have the option of
participating in firing squads!

[grunts]

I shouldn't have deceived Walter,

but I had no choice.

He can't know that I
had a lapse in judgment.

[muffled speaking]

Walter needs to feel that I'm strong.

It frees him to be weak.

[inhales] Sorry. I need a little air.

Why aren't you wearing glasses?

You said I had nice eyes,
so I'm trying contacts.

[scoffs]

Hello, Margaret.

I don't know if your
voice-mail is recording,

but, uh, this is Walter.

We met in Gelson's Market
about seven months ago,

and I was wondering if... [knocks]

Goodbye. Hello, Shelly.

Walter, the Adlers are here.

Because they don't have cell
phones, I couldn't reach them.

Oh, shit.

I didn't have the heart
to tell them they're bumped.

They rode their bamboo bicycles here.

They had to leave their house at 3:00 a.m.

They are environmental heroes,

and we are bumping them for
a woman who advocates murder.

[slams book] I'll break
the news to them myself.

Okay. Just a heads-up, because they
rode their bikes almost 50 miles,

they're kind of, um, stinky
and I can't shake the smell.

But this helps. I love cherry.

So I sniff it.

Major, Celia's in the loo vomiting.

I offered to drive her
home. She looks contagious.

I'll take over the edit of the B
block immigration story for her.

Good. Work it out with Rosalie.

Harry, be a good chap. Drive Celia home.

Yes, sir.

[breathing heavily]

Mr. Adler, I'm Walter Blunt.

Oh, yes. Of course.

Oh.

[chuckles]

Uh, I think two bows is enough, Mr. Adler.

Please, call me Duncan. It's
so nice to finally meet you.

Well, it's very nice to meet you, but I...

- This is my wife Sally.
- Oh, hi, Sally.

Eli, and this is KK.

Hi. Oh, I like your chalkboards.

I must get one of those for my young son.

If you do, let us know.
We make our own chalk.

We also do quite a bit of pickling.

And, uh, we use our own waste as manure.

Well, that's wonderful, but there
is something that I really need...

Oh, oh, whoa.

These get lodged in the
blowholes of dolphins.

Use it, and then hold onto it forever.

Oh, God. I will. Yes, thank you so much.

Uh, but... [clears throat]

There is something we need to talk...

Yes, of course. There's
not a moment to waste.

We're running out of time
to reverse what's happening.

You're right. It's frightening, but...

I mean literally running out of time.

According to German
environmental scientists...

the Germans are the best. They're
still making up for the Holocaust.

Global warming is causing the
planet to rotate more quickly.

You see, time itself is speeding up.

Oh, you know, those Germans
could be onto something.

At least once a day, I think of this line

from the film The Red Shoes.

"Time rushes by, life rushes by, but..."

"But the red shoes go on dancing forever."

Oh, my God. You also know
The Red Shoes by heart.

It's one of my all-time favorite movies.

Back when I was still able to watch movies.

Mr. Adler, do you believe

in strange and beautiful coincidences?

Mr. Blunt, I was just about to
ask you that very same question.

Oh, nice.

Stay right here.

Walter Blunt.

SALLY: Good. Good.

[leg cracks]

- Ow.
- SALLY: You okay?

No. Ow.

- Okay, oh, oh.
- Ow.

- Here, do you want to sit down?
- Ow!

Sorry, but I am un-bumping
the zero-impact family.

Their message is too urgent
and they are delightful.

You can't.

Suzanne Mayview's
already in her green room.

Then I'll bump her myself.

Walter, Linda Wilcox

is a very powerful publicist.

I don't give a shit about Linda Wilcox.

My concern is with the planet!

[door slams]

[toilet flushes]

[laughs] That is so embarrassing.

But that flush was for a tinkle. I swear.

Do you Brits classify it that
way? Number one, number two.

We provide no classification

- except denial of the act.
- I see.

Well, thank you for saying
hello before our chat.

- I'm Suzanne.
- Yes, I know.

And there is something we have to discuss.

I know we are on different
sides of the aisle,

but I just wanted to put it
out there right away that...

I'm a big fan.

Oh, my God. [gasps]

Where did you find this?

A bookseller in London.

There were only 1,000 copies printed.

In 1984.

I know. They're very rare.

- I loved it.
- Thank you.

"As my mother aged,

"my love for her seemed to
be picking up in velocity,

"each moment with her more
precious than the next.

"My greatest regret is that she
passed while I was in the Falklands

"and I was unable to say goodbye.

Unable to tell her one
more time that I loved her."

Will you sign it for me?

[speaking softly] I'm very touched.

Of course I'll sign it.

Thank you.

It's "Suzanne" with a Z?

You can sign it to "Snax." With an X.

That's what all my friends call me.

And am I counted among them?

I would like to think so.

Are those red shoes?

This is a high-stakes game.

A group of crooked domestics. Tough bunch.

They have a connection
with a liquor distributor

because of all the home deliveries.

Are you a crooked domestic, Harry?

No. I have a weakness for gambling.

I never thought of it that way before,

but I went to a Gambler's
Anonymous meeting.

It bollocks'd up my thinking.

[knocks rhythmically]

Special knock.

So are we bad, Harry?

We're lying to Walter, me
skipping out on my work?

Well, in this moment,
we are bad. I admit it.

But what good has it ever done
for people to judge themselves?

So that they can exert some self-control?

Oh, yeah. No, you're right.

- Should we turn back?
- Well...

You're late. We're starting.

Larry King's pool guy. [gasps]

See, it's all gonna be all right.

Everyone's happy.

Yeah, except for the Adlers.

The father cried when I bumped them.

Good evening. This is Blunt
Talk, and I am Walter Blunt.

We begin tonight's program
with Suzanne Mayview,

author of An Eye for an Eye:

Why America Needs
the Death Penalty.

Welcome to Blunt Talk.
We're happy to have you on, Suzanne.

Thank you, Walter.

This is so exciting. It
reminds me of boarding school.

After lights out, we used to play
this game called French Honeymoon.

Quit your small-talk. I'm not your friend.

I call.

[laughs]

So... so that beats a pair?

Yeah.

No, it's fine. I'm gonna win it all back.

I've got this.

So four of a kind. So what's a full house?

The death penalty is undeniably popular.

32 out of 50 states have it.

62% of Americans want it.

- Do you know who James Surowiecki is?
- WALTER: I do.

SUZANNE: He writes for The New Yorker.

Well, he has done some fascinating
research on the wisdom of crowds.

Shit. I bet I just threw away that issue.

The wisdom of crowds gave us McCarthyism.

Time to bury her, Walter.

Well, that is a controversial choice,

invoking the wisdom of crowds.

And what I do not understand...

Well, let me try to make
it a little easier for you.

If you like.

Why's he being so fucking civil?

Does he look weird? Like too friendly?

You look weird. Why are
you squinting like that?

I lost a contact lens.

If a criminal were to break into your house

and rape and murder your loved one...

wouldn't you want capital
punishment for that person?

She's going for the most
tired hypothetical of them all.

An eye for an eye is a philosophy

millennia out of date.

But let us consider your scenario

and what punishment actually achieves.

Consider? Cut to commercial!

Jesus Christ!

Uh, but right now, I'm
sorry. We have to take a break

and we will be right back.

So when, uh, do you leave for...

what is it... Oklahoma City?

- Mm, um, tomorrow.
- Walter, quick word.

[speaks softly] Oh. Excuse me.

[normal voice] Yes? What is it?

Why are you being so easy on her?

I'm not being easy. But she read my book.

And Dr. Weiss thinks that I should begin...

This is about the death penalty.

I don't wanna hear about that horny quack.

Horny?

Listen, I can't let you
make a fool of yourself.

She's walking all over you.

But she could be Mary
Matalin to my James Carville.

Walter, focus.

The death penalty is racist and barbaric.

Only China, Saudi Arabia and Iran

have more executions than we do.

You forgot Iraq.

No, you forgot Iraq.

[speaks softly] You're Walter
Blunt. Now act like him.

[speaks softly] You made your
point. I needed that. Thank you.

15 seconds.

Oh, while you were shouting at me,

I saw you have a contact lens
stuck between your breasts.

[news jingle plays]

WALTER: And we are back
talking with Suzanne Mayview,

author of An Eye for An Eye:

Why America Needs the Death Penalty.

Isn't it shameful, Suzanne,

that America has the fifth-most
executions in the world?

Trailing only China, Saudi
Arabia, Iraq, and Iran.

No. No, I just think of the families

of the victims and how they need closure.

So what about the families
of those wrongfully executed?

They'll never have closure.

An eye for an eye will
only make the world blind.

SUZANNE: Walter, you've been in battle.

Quoting Gandhi in the
21st century is naive.

Pardon me, but it is you
who are being naive, Suzanne.

Oh, I'm naive? Come on.

No, I'm sorry. You're being naive

and you are reckless with
the value of human life.

Yes, it is true. I have
killed in the name of war.

But it was war that made me a pacifist.

It was war that made me want to protect

the innocent and the guilty.

So if America wants to be
the leader of the free world,

then it must not kill at home.

Answering murder with
murder is not an answer.

We'll be back right after this.

[news jingle plays]

Thank God!

[laughs]

Here's your contact lens, dear.

I'm winning, but you're losing.

A clever player knows when to quit.

A clever player knows how
to win, and I'm clever.

I went to Oxford.

[inhales]

Celia, no. No coaching.

Yeah, skirt's on her own.

I can't believe my magician
gave me fake pearls.

Forget the damn pearls, Celia, just run!

[growls]

[engine revs] [tires squeal]

I'm gonna fuck you up, Harry!

[horn honks]

Be honest.

All that stuff back in the green room.

Were you just trying to soften me up?

- Hmm?
- I was.

Ah.

But I was also very attracted to you.

- Really?
- Mm.

You really roughed me up.

Just now or during the broadcast?

- Both.
- Ah.

Our interview was like foreplay.

I hope I wasn't too rough with you.

[speaks softly] Mm-mm. Perfect.

[normal voice] You know,
every woman adores a fascist.

A boot in the face.

Who the hell said that? Mussolini?

No, Sylvia Plath.

Oh. Snax...

[sighs]

I wish you didn't live in Oklahoma.

Hey, you know they still have
the death penalty in California.

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