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1
00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:09,062
Hey, hear about that guy
that nearly died up at HQ?
2
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,088
Funny story!
3
00:00:11,175 --> 00:00:13,414
Really not that funny, Mac.
4
00:00:13,415 --> 00:00:16,415
He was found, right, passed out
with an orange in his mouth
5
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:19,534
and his cock in his hand!
6
00:00:19,535 --> 00:00:20,855
That is quite funny, Simon.
7
00:00:21,975 --> 00:00:23,974
So, what, was he hungry?
8
00:00:23,975 --> 00:00:24,995
No!
9
00:00:25,086 --> 00:00:27,205
Auto-erotic asphyxiation.
10
00:00:27,206 --> 00:00:28,765
Heightens the orgasm.
11
00:00:28,766 --> 00:00:31,484
It's not funny, because he probably
has mild brain damage.
12
00:00:31,485 --> 00:00:33,806
But he's up at HQ, so no-one
will notice.
13
00:00:35,446 --> 00:00:37,124
He's been sent home. Imagine that -
14
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:40,086
"Oh, hello, love, you're back early.
Why's that?"
15
00:00:40,087 --> 00:00:41,285
"No reason."
16
00:00:41,286 --> 00:00:42,685
"Orange juice?"
17
00:00:42,686 --> 00:00:45,045
"Er... No, thanks!"
18
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,326
What would your fiancee
think of that, Simon?
19
00:00:47,345 --> 00:00:49,263
Obviously, that would never happen.
20
00:00:49,264 --> 00:00:51,623
Not a fan of the
citrus-powered wank? NO!
21
00:00:51,624 --> 00:00:53,623
Oh, shite! For a wedding present,
22
00:00:53,624 --> 00:00:57,063
me and Rocket were going to club
together and get you a grapefruit!
23
00:00:57,064 --> 00:00:58,705
So everyone up for poker tonight?
24
00:00:58,706 --> 00:01:00,664
Aye. Of course.
25
00:01:00,665 --> 00:01:02,703
Here, boss - you know you
fancy the padre?
26
00:01:02,704 --> 00:01:04,465
You should get her to play poker.
27
00:01:04,466 --> 00:01:07,864
But instead of money,
you should do strip poker.
28
00:01:07,865 --> 00:01:10,223
No, I'm not bothering
with her any more. She's a padre.
29
00:01:10,224 --> 00:01:11,783
She's all... good and everything.
30
00:01:11,784 --> 00:01:13,305
Where's the fun in that?
31
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,264
Nowhere, that's where.
32
00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:17,985
She's dull. She's duller than
a wet weekend in Wigan
33
00:01:17,986 --> 00:01:19,984
with a female blood relative,
34
00:01:19,985 --> 00:01:21,903
so you can't even...
I don't like this, boss.
35
00:01:21,904 --> 00:01:24,383
Oh, shit - what have you got?
I just heard an, "Allahu Akbar".
36
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,383
Charlie, Charlie 1,
this is Bluestone 42.
37
00:01:26,384 --> 00:01:27,983
Be advised, possible incoming.
38
00:01:27,984 --> 00:01:29,905
OK, guys. It's going to get bouncy.
39
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:59,141
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
40
00:02:02,825 --> 00:02:04,985
Raise, 20.
41
00:02:05,985 --> 00:02:08,024
20? You're kidding?
42
00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:10,944
20? Shit.
43
00:02:10,945 --> 00:02:12,505
How much is in the pot now?
44
00:02:12,506 --> 00:02:14,144
90 pence.
45
00:02:14,145 --> 00:02:17,704
Too much for me.
46
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:20,105
You'd better not be bluffing,
you spawny bastard.
47
00:02:24,985 --> 00:02:26,104
Call.
48
00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:27,944
Two pair.
49
00:02:27,945 --> 00:02:29,103
Read 'em and weep.
50
00:02:29,104 --> 00:02:32,065
There will be tears... of joy,
cos I have trips!
51
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:37,703
I saved your arse this afternoon
and this is how you repay me?
52
00:02:37,704 --> 00:02:40,063
Three cards with the same number on,
Rocket. That's good.
53
00:02:40,064 --> 00:02:42,663
So trips is the same as
three-of-a-kind?
54
00:02:42,664 --> 00:02:43,983
Razor sharp, this one.
55
00:02:43,984 --> 00:02:45,383
Come on, Rocky - your deal.
56
00:02:45,384 --> 00:02:47,863
Sorry I'm late.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
57
00:02:47,864 --> 00:02:50,105
Come on, Millsy -
you sit next to me.
58
00:02:50,106 --> 00:02:52,264
Bird, Mac, blinds.
59
00:02:52,265 --> 00:02:54,583
Ah, Mary - fancy a few hands
of Texas Hold 'em?
60
00:02:54,584 --> 00:02:56,583
Actually, I try to keep away
from gambling...
61
00:02:56,584 --> 00:02:57,903
Come on, it's only 5 and 10ps,
62
00:02:57,904 --> 00:03:00,903
I don't think you're going to
lose your shirt, although...
63
00:03:00,904 --> 00:03:02,265
let's not rule that out, actually.
64
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,704
And so it begins.
65
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,743
Seriously, Simon's not here yet -
take his place.
66
00:03:05,744 --> 00:03:09,745
We don't want to make Rocket deal
again, it'll take him 20 fucking minutes.
67
00:03:09,746 --> 00:03:11,704
Come on, Padre. Come on!
68
00:03:11,705 --> 00:03:14,585
Remember, Rocket's shite,
so you can take him to the cleaners.
69
00:03:14,586 --> 00:03:15,904
Piss off.
70
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,745
All right. A couple of hands.
71
00:03:17,746 --> 00:03:19,305
Whoo! Get in!
72
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,065
How many cards is it, again?
73
00:03:23,066 --> 00:03:24,665
Two! All right!
74
00:03:32,505 --> 00:03:34,064
Oof!
75
00:03:34,065 --> 00:03:36,105
Oh... fuck.
76
00:03:41,225 --> 00:03:43,065
That is unbelievable.
77
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,503
Sorry about that.
Skip, you've missed all the fun.
78
00:03:47,504 --> 00:03:49,543
Shut up, Mac. Mary's just taken
three quid off him.
79
00:03:49,544 --> 00:03:51,663
She slow-played pocket jacks -
who does that?!
80
00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,823
I do that - so I can beat pedestrians
like you.
81
00:03:53,824 --> 00:03:55,703
Padre, Charlotte's having
second thoughts.
82
00:03:55,704 --> 00:03:57,985
Fair enough. She wants a real man.
83
00:03:57,986 --> 00:03:59,904
Not about me, knobhead!
84
00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:01,544
About the venue.
85
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:03,463
She wants to get married
in Scotland.
86
00:04:03,464 --> 00:04:04,583
Great. Are we invited?
87
00:04:04,584 --> 00:04:06,943
Brilliant. So we can come too?
Very thoughtful, Skip.
88
00:04:06,944 --> 00:04:08,383
But we'd already decided!
89
00:04:08,384 --> 00:04:10,463
The River Court conference hotel,
Stansted.
90
00:04:10,464 --> 00:04:12,303
It's perfect. Wedding license,
91
00:04:12,304 --> 00:04:14,305
good access to the M11,
ample parking...
92
00:04:14,306 --> 00:04:18,304
Well, nothing says romance
like good access to the M11.
93
00:04:18,305 --> 00:04:21,465
Oh, Simon, ample parking -
you're making me so wet!
94
00:04:24,545 --> 00:04:26,463
Padre, are the rules different
in Scotland?
95
00:04:26,464 --> 00:04:29,383
I mean, could we get a priest to do
it if the venue had a civil license?
96
00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:30,623
Simon! I became an Army padre
97
00:04:30,624 --> 00:04:33,383
so I wouldn't have to spend my life
talking about weddings, OK?
98
00:04:33,384 --> 00:04:35,585
Yeah, I just thought... We're kind
of in the middle of a game.
99
00:04:35,586 --> 00:04:37,784
Millsy! Deal!
100
00:04:37,785 --> 00:04:41,145
I really fancy some snacks -
something like crisps, nuts...
101
00:04:41,146 --> 00:04:42,744
Oh, pork scratchings.
102
00:04:42,745 --> 00:04:45,184
Or tablet. I love tablet.
103
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,624
So, Nick, what's the big plan?
104
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:50,465
Are you going to play safe, lose more
money? Because that's a good plan.
105
00:04:50,466 --> 00:04:52,504
The big plan...
106
00:04:52,505 --> 00:04:54,625
is not to play for 10p bets.
107
00:04:56,185 --> 00:04:58,945
Why don't we make it no limit?
Good plan?
108
00:04:58,946 --> 00:05:00,624
Fine.
109
00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:01,905
No limit. Let's do it.
110
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,545
Fold.
111
00:05:11,025 --> 00:05:12,264
Nope. Fold.
112
00:05:12,265 --> 00:05:13,904
Raise.
113
00:05:13,905 --> 00:05:15,625
A pound.
114
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:19,224
Fold? Raise.
115
00:05:19,225 --> 00:05:21,784
Another pound. Raise.
116
00:05:21,785 --> 00:05:24,104
Five pounds.
117
00:05:24,105 --> 00:05:25,025
Go on.
118
00:05:26,745 --> 00:05:28,585
Go on, call it.
119
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,064
Go on, call the bet.
120
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,905
Or are you scared? Are you scared
because it's five pounds?
121
00:05:39,785 --> 00:05:40,985
Call.
122
00:05:42,105 --> 00:05:44,104
Raise. Fuck!
123
00:05:44,105 --> 00:05:45,985
What's going on?
Will you take an IOU?
124
00:05:45,986 --> 00:05:47,824
I'd rather take the shirt.
125
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:49,825
That one didn't even register.
126
00:05:49,826 --> 00:05:51,345
I owe you...
127
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:54,184
?100.
128
00:05:54,185 --> 00:05:56,023
Really? Serious?
What's going on?
129
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,025
You are fucking kidding me!
Call.
130
00:06:03,785 --> 00:06:05,345
Oh!
131
00:06:07,465 --> 00:06:09,225
Flush draw.
Yes, we know, Millsy.
132
00:06:09,226 --> 00:06:10,344
I didn't.
133
00:06:10,345 --> 00:06:12,103
Basically, any heart will win it
for Mary, except for the...
134
00:06:12,104 --> 00:06:13,225
Just turn over the card!
135
00:06:17,705 --> 00:06:19,184
Yes! Yes!
136
00:06:19,185 --> 00:06:20,785
Get in! In your face, Medhurst!
137
00:06:20,786 --> 00:06:23,225
Yes! Thank you, good night!
138
00:06:26,865 --> 00:06:28,145
Oh, shit!
139
00:06:30,065 --> 00:06:31,664
Er, Padre...
140
00:06:31,665 --> 00:06:32,905
Are you all right, boss?
141
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,305
I have never been more aroused.
142
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:41,024
Mary!
143
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,943
Mary, you forgot your winnings.
I don't want to talk about it.
144
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,423
But I owe you a hundred quid.
No, you don't.
145
00:06:45,424 --> 00:06:48,305
I mean, what were the odds of
you winning that hand?
146
00:06:48,306 --> 00:06:50,344
12.1%. Really?
147
00:06:50,345 --> 00:06:53,543
Yeah. I thought you had pocket tens
and the big bet would push you off, but...
148
00:06:53,544 --> 00:06:55,143
I shouldn't have been playing.
149
00:06:55,144 --> 00:06:56,623
I... I just shouldn't have been
playing.
150
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:59,063
Yes, you should -
you are clearly amazing at poker.
151
00:06:59,064 --> 00:07:00,823
Thanks, but it makes me
a different person.
152
00:07:00,824 --> 00:07:02,743
You saw how I was with Simon.
It's only Simon!
153
00:07:02,744 --> 00:07:04,503
It can't happen again.
It must happen again!
154
00:07:04,504 --> 00:07:06,623
You have a gift.
No, I don't, I have an addiction!
155
00:07:06,624 --> 00:07:07,665
Had an addiction.
156
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:08,944
Awesome!
157
00:07:08,945 --> 00:07:10,625
Oh, dear.
158
00:07:12,905 --> 00:07:14,345
Mary!
159
00:07:18,225 --> 00:07:20,185
This is in the strictest confidence,
OK?
160
00:07:21,345 --> 00:07:22,424
Of course.
161
00:07:22,425 --> 00:07:23,985
I lost a lot of money.
162
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,304
And my MG. OK, my fiance's MG.
163
00:07:27,305 --> 00:07:28,624
And my fiance.
164
00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:29,864
Shit!
165
00:07:29,865 --> 00:07:32,983
But he was about to go to the
Falklands, so he wasn't going to need a car anyway
166
00:07:32,984 --> 00:07:35,343
and I would've won it back
the next week, so...
167
00:07:35,344 --> 00:07:37,863
There had been a breakdown in trust,
I know that now...
168
00:07:37,864 --> 00:07:39,185
I'm the worst padre ever.
169
00:07:39,186 --> 00:07:41,064
Or the best!
170
00:07:41,065 --> 00:07:43,385
I'm going to phone my sponsor,
make amends.
171
00:07:43,386 --> 00:07:46,304
But this is why I don't gamble
any more!
172
00:07:46,305 --> 00:07:47,665
Marry me.
173
00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:50,665
I mean...
174
00:07:51,665 --> 00:07:52,944
Mary, me...
175
00:07:52,945 --> 00:07:53,945
and you...
176
00:07:55,145 --> 00:07:56,624
should do...
177
00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:58,624
more...
178
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:00,704
on this.
179
00:08:00,705 --> 00:08:01,985
I'll see you at breakfast.
180
00:08:01,986 --> 00:08:03,304
You bet.
181
00:08:03,305 --> 00:08:04,545
Ah! "You bet"!
182
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,264
Don't get up.
183
00:08:15,265 --> 00:08:16,664
Oh, too late!
184
00:08:16,665 --> 00:08:20,143
Bird, a word. If you wouldn't mind
stepping out of the Det?
185
00:08:20,144 --> 00:08:23,903
Sir? Probably heard about
the sticky situation up at HQ?
186
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,465
Your boss got caught thrappping
himself half to death with an orange in his mouth.
187
00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:29,904
That was Jeff? Bloody hell.
188
00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:31,223
Mm. What's the first rule?
189
00:08:31,224 --> 00:08:34,663
Don't get caught thrapping yourself
half to death with an orange in your mouth.
190
00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:36,585
I'll... I'll bear that in mind, sir.
191
00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:39,704
So, they need an ECM adviser,
sharpish.
192
00:08:39,705 --> 00:08:42,943
High time you got the nod,
especially after anticipating that contact today.
193
00:08:42,944 --> 00:08:44,783
You'll be double-hatting at first.
194
00:08:44,784 --> 00:08:47,023
You'll need to bone up
on all of this.
195
00:08:47,024 --> 00:08:48,303
Wait, they want me to be chief bleep?
196
00:08:48,304 --> 00:08:51,343
Yes, keep up. Probationary period
as acting sergeant.
197
00:08:51,344 --> 00:08:55,183
Stay with your team for now, but
you'll be up to HQ for the odd meeting - very odd,
198
00:08:55,184 --> 00:08:57,785
I expect, given the orange incident!
Ha!
199
00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:03,423
Anyway, congratulations, Bird.
Thank you, sir.
200
00:09:03,424 --> 00:09:05,463
Word to the wise - don't be an RPA.
201
00:09:05,464 --> 00:09:07,065
Sir? Recently Promoted Arsehole.
202
00:09:07,066 --> 00:09:09,144
Got it, Chief.
203
00:09:09,145 --> 00:09:12,025
Just like that, ACTING Sergeant.
204
00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:25,385
They charge extra
for the hire of napkin rings!
205
00:09:25,386 --> 00:09:27,185
Bloody hell.
206
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,025
This where you're getting married?
207
00:09:33,026 --> 00:09:35,064
Drumcredie Castle.
208
00:09:35,065 --> 00:09:37,024
Bum-credie Castle.
209
00:09:37,025 --> 00:09:38,865
Yeah, Charlotte wants to go there,
but...
210
00:09:38,866 --> 00:09:40,984
"For a perfect, magical day..."
211
00:09:40,985 --> 00:09:42,423
For a perfect, magical gay!
212
00:09:42,424 --> 00:09:43,743
Yes, all right, Mac.
213
00:09:43,744 --> 00:09:45,345
Skip, don't get married here.
214
00:09:45,346 --> 00:09:47,344
Yes! Impractical, right?
215
00:09:47,345 --> 00:09:50,543
I mean, it's miles away,
and the corkage... Extortionate.
216
00:09:50,544 --> 00:09:55,025
No, it's not that. It's the old
Scottish saying - marry in castle, arseh'l.
217
00:09:55,026 --> 00:09:56,064
Is it?
218
00:09:56,065 --> 00:09:57,464
No! Is it?
219
00:09:57,465 --> 00:09:59,505
Is it? Is it? Mm-hm.
220
00:10:00,865 --> 00:10:02,745
Thanks for the support, guys.
221
00:10:04,425 --> 00:10:07,143
Phwoar!
Hey, Rocket - look at that, eh?
222
00:10:07,144 --> 00:10:11,263
Who knew that Millsy had such
a filthy looking girlfriend, eh?
223
00:10:11,264 --> 00:10:13,423
I don't have a girlfriend.
Who's this, then, eh?
224
00:10:13,424 --> 00:10:15,345
Hey, that's my sister - give it
back!
225
00:10:15,346 --> 00:10:16,904
I'm sorry.
226
00:10:16,905 --> 00:10:18,743
That just won't be possible at this
time.
227
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,063
Mac! Now. Fight me for it.
228
00:10:20,064 --> 00:10:22,703
I'm not going to fight you for it,
just hand it over.
229
00:10:22,704 --> 00:10:24,503
You could fry an egg
on those hot pants... Tssss!
230
00:10:24,504 --> 00:10:27,345
Give it back.
Well, that is quite an outfit.
231
00:10:27,346 --> 00:10:28,784
She's 17.
232
00:10:28,785 --> 00:10:29,984
Aye... legal!
233
00:10:29,985 --> 00:10:31,345
And she was 15 when
the picture was taken.
234
00:10:31,346 --> 00:10:33,624
Paedo!
235
00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,103
We were on holiday in Italy.
236
00:10:35,104 --> 00:10:37,705
Ah! The age of consent in Italy
is 14, so...
237
00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:38,944
legal!
238
00:10:38,945 --> 00:10:40,824
How do you even know that?
239
00:10:40,825 --> 00:10:44,383
14 is legal in loads of countries -
Albania, Austria, Brazil...
240
00:10:44,384 --> 00:10:47,145
Mac, have you learnt
the age of consent in every country?
241
00:10:48,145 --> 00:10:49,304
Wikipedia.
242
00:10:49,305 --> 00:10:51,064
My God.
243
00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:52,623
Come on, Millsy -
me and you, square go.
244
00:10:52,624 --> 00:10:54,023
Winner keeps the picture.
245
00:10:54,024 --> 00:10:55,865
Give it back, it's his sister.
246
00:10:55,866 --> 00:10:57,464
Nah.
247
00:10:57,465 --> 00:10:59,465
What did the colonel want, Bird?
Oh, nothing.
248
00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:01,104
Well, something.
249
00:11:01,105 --> 00:11:02,825
They need a new chief bleep.
250
00:11:02,826 --> 00:11:04,104
They want me.
251
00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:05,625
I've been bumped up
to Acting Sergeant.
252
00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:08,664
Nice one! Whoo!
253
00:11:08,665 --> 00:11:10,223
Yes, I'll be double-hatting at
first...
254
00:11:10,224 --> 00:11:12,665
Good idea -
you don't want to get pregnant.
255
00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:14,424
It doesn't matter.
256
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:17,584
So, I'll be off to Bastion.
257
00:11:17,585 --> 00:11:20,224
Oh, up at HQ with the big boys.
258
00:11:20,225 --> 00:11:21,904
Yep.
259
00:11:21,905 --> 00:11:23,944
Not here, saving your arses.
260
00:11:23,945 --> 00:11:25,665
Well, they'll be lucky to have you.
261
00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:28,265
Thanks, Simon.
262
00:11:30,025 --> 00:11:31,264
Guys.
263
00:11:31,265 --> 00:11:33,745
Anyway... lot of work.
264
00:11:35,065 --> 00:11:37,183
What are we going to do without Bird?
265
00:11:37,184 --> 00:11:39,303
Well, she'll just be replaced
by someone with identical training
266
00:11:39,304 --> 00:11:40,425
and do the exact...
267
00:11:41,865 --> 00:11:43,624
Oh. I get it.
268
00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:45,384
Bird's awesome, yeah!
269
00:11:45,385 --> 00:11:47,184
Anyway... photo.
270
00:11:47,185 --> 00:11:48,465
Fight!
271
00:11:52,985 --> 00:11:55,584
Can't we just tell her not to go?
No!
272
00:11:55,585 --> 00:11:58,625
Big chance, big promotion,
big job like this?
273
00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:01,344
Big job! Big jobbie!
274
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:02,784
I see, yep...
275
00:12:02,785 --> 00:12:04,343
No, it's a big promotion...
276
00:12:04,344 --> 00:12:05,745
"With a big jobbie like this!"
277
00:12:05,746 --> 00:12:06,744
All right...
278
00:12:06,745 --> 00:12:08,064
Big jobbie!
279
00:12:08,065 --> 00:12:10,225
Yes, I understand...
280
00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:15,025
See you, Jobbie!
281
00:12:21,065 --> 00:12:23,705
What? You know how I said
I'd never been more aroused?
282
00:12:23,706 --> 00:12:25,064
Yeah.
283
00:12:25,065 --> 00:12:27,543
I have to inform you
I have now been further aroused.
284
00:12:27,544 --> 00:12:29,985
My levels of arousal
are currently unprecedented.
285
00:12:29,986 --> 00:12:32,704
Well, that is great, boss.
286
00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:35,583
Um, listen - I need to talk to you...
Mary's a gambling addict.
287
00:12:35,584 --> 00:12:37,305
She spunked away her fiance's MG.
288
00:12:37,306 --> 00:12:38,424
Really?
289
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,624
Wow. Anyway, boss, the thing is...
290
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:43,223
Cos gambling's got to be my way in,
right?
291
00:12:43,224 --> 00:12:45,303
I mean, if I can convince Mary
to start gambling again,
292
00:12:45,304 --> 00:12:46,903
she'll weaken
and give up trying to be good.
293
00:12:46,904 --> 00:12:49,465
Yes, great, now can you bloody
listen to me? I've been promoted.
294
00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:51,064
Acting Sergeant.
295
00:12:51,065 --> 00:12:53,183
They want me to be chief bleep.
Oh, nice one, Bird.
296
00:12:53,184 --> 00:12:56,063
About time. Oh, that's why there's
a chopper here, to take you to HQ,
297
00:12:56,064 --> 00:12:58,905
some kind of meeting or something?
And you didn't start with that?
298
00:12:58,906 --> 00:13:00,225
Fucking hell, Nick!
299
00:13:01,265 --> 00:13:04,785
And FYI, my job is more important to
me than your stupid sex life, OK?
300
00:13:04,786 --> 00:13:06,224
RPA!
301
00:13:06,225 --> 00:13:07,785
Up your cocking arse, Nick!
302
00:13:26,025 --> 00:13:28,703
What's it going to be today?
Fried or scrambled?
303
00:13:28,704 --> 00:13:31,583
Fried again, probably.
Yeah, I reckon it's scrambled.
304
00:13:31,584 --> 00:13:32,783
Care to make it interesting?
305
00:13:32,784 --> 00:13:34,423
Oh, very good, Nick - sensitive.
306
00:13:34,424 --> 00:13:38,063
Go on. Sportsman's bet.
Next person in, corporal or above.
307
00:13:38,064 --> 00:13:40,663
No! Nick, you don't seem to
understand - this isn't funny for me.
308
00:13:40,664 --> 00:13:42,665
Would you offer a heroin addict
some heroin?
309
00:13:43,785 --> 00:13:46,063
Depends what I was getting
in return.
310
00:13:46,064 --> 00:13:48,823
Oh, there's Simon -
I need to make amends to him.
311
00:13:48,824 --> 00:13:50,545
You haven't made amends to me!
312
00:13:50,546 --> 00:13:52,104
I tore up that IOU.
313
00:13:52,105 --> 00:13:55,263
Yeah, but you ruined the game
and the emotional damage of that and...
314
00:13:55,264 --> 00:13:56,383
What about my reputation?
315
00:13:56,384 --> 00:13:59,105
I'll settle for a bottle
of single malt.
316
00:14:00,185 --> 00:14:01,625
A packet of pork scratchings?
317
00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:06,664
Hi, Simon...
318
00:14:06,665 --> 00:14:07,905
Um...
319
00:14:09,425 --> 00:14:11,145
I have a problem with gambling.
320
00:14:11,146 --> 00:14:12,664
Really?
321
00:14:12,665 --> 00:14:13,785
Shit!
322
00:14:14,825 --> 00:14:18,583
Yes, so I wanted to apologise for
last night and make it up to you if I can.
323
00:14:18,584 --> 00:14:20,705
OK. So if you want
to talk about your wedding...
324
00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:22,384
Yes!
325
00:14:22,385 --> 00:14:24,903
Charlotte wants to get married
in a Scottish castle.
326
00:14:24,904 --> 00:14:26,665
Well, you know what they say...
327
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,384
Yeah. Marry in a castle, arsehole.
328
00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:30,545
Do they?
329
00:14:31,785 --> 00:14:34,304
What they do say is...
330
00:14:34,305 --> 00:14:37,583
You've just spent your engagement
thinking about the wedding.
331
00:14:37,584 --> 00:14:39,223
She's spent her whole life.
332
00:14:39,224 --> 00:14:43,063
I mean, when I was little, I wanted
this red and gold theme with a big canopy
333
00:14:43,064 --> 00:14:44,423
and these little stars sewn in...
334
00:14:44,424 --> 00:14:45,585
This isn't about me.
335
00:14:46,945 --> 00:14:48,824
Drumcredie is ridiculous.
336
00:14:48,825 --> 00:14:51,184
Inverness is the nearest town.
337
00:14:51,185 --> 00:14:52,425
55 minutes away.
338
00:14:53,665 --> 00:14:57,465
River Court is near the house,
plenty of parking, corkage is reasonable.
339
00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:01,544
It ticks all the boxes. Does it?
340
00:15:01,545 --> 00:15:03,224
Oh, yes.
341
00:15:03,225 --> 00:15:05,185
That looks... comprehensive.
342
00:15:06,345 --> 00:15:09,103
If you want to change her mind,
you can't just dig your heels in -
343
00:15:09,104 --> 00:15:10,303
say that it's nice...
344
00:15:10,304 --> 00:15:11,585
She wants to release doves.
345
00:15:12,585 --> 00:15:14,144
Doves!
346
00:15:14,145 --> 00:15:15,663
Pigeons, I can understand.
347
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,425
They'd fly home,
we'd get the deposit back.
348
00:15:17,426 --> 00:15:19,424
Is there a third option?
349
00:15:19,425 --> 00:15:21,343
We did look at somewhere
called Handleford Hall,
350
00:15:21,344 --> 00:15:22,623
but it's limited parking
351
00:15:22,624 --> 00:15:25,023
and the ground staff...
We're on. Transport in ten.
352
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:27,023
Anything is better than there.
353
00:15:27,024 --> 00:15:29,223
Yeah, this does look completely
impr... Oh, no, but look!
354
00:15:29,224 --> 00:15:32,544
When you book, they Photoshop
a picture of you out the front, looking all romantic...
355
00:15:45,825 --> 00:15:48,185
Bird, you're back! I missed you
this morning, but I got you these.
356
00:15:48,186 --> 00:15:49,304
I've been busy.
357
00:15:49,305 --> 00:15:52,145
Actually, Faruq got them for you,
they're to hand out at your next meeting at HQ.
358
00:15:52,146 --> 00:15:53,984
It'll be hilarious.
359
00:15:53,985 --> 00:15:55,824
Is my career a joke to you?
360
00:15:55,825 --> 00:15:58,825
Everything's a joke to me!
We have met, right?
361
00:15:59,865 --> 00:16:01,145
Just thought it'd be funny.
362
00:16:01,146 --> 00:16:02,984
Well, I mean,
363
00:16:02,985 --> 00:16:05,385
it would be funny, but...
364
00:16:09,585 --> 00:16:11,024
Holland.
365
00:16:11,025 --> 00:16:12,184
16.
366
00:16:12,185 --> 00:16:13,504
Cyprus.
367
00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:14,705
17.
368
00:16:16,585 --> 00:16:18,704
Kenya? 16.
369
00:16:18,705 --> 00:16:20,384
Iran.
370
00:16:20,385 --> 00:16:22,143
16, but you need to be married.
371
00:16:22,144 --> 00:16:24,705
Shite.
Hope we don't invade Iran next.
372
00:16:25,905 --> 00:16:28,144
You and me both, my friend.
373
00:16:28,145 --> 00:16:29,385
You and me both.
374
00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:32,385
Bird, Bird, Bird.
375
00:16:34,345 --> 00:16:35,703
Sorry about the orange gag.
376
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,783
Let's talk about something else.
377
00:16:37,784 --> 00:16:39,183
Ooh, what could you mean?
378
00:16:39,184 --> 00:16:40,943
Oh, of course! You and Mary.
379
00:16:40,944 --> 00:16:41,945
Er, not necessarily.
380
00:16:41,946 --> 00:16:44,424
What happened?
381
00:16:44,425 --> 00:16:45,743
I got another knock-back.
382
00:16:45,744 --> 00:16:48,143
Oh, well, excuse me
while I pick myself up off the floor.
383
00:16:48,144 --> 00:16:49,623
It's not like you had a better plan,
is it?
384
00:16:49,624 --> 00:16:51,623
Well, if you actually like someone,
Nick, maybe try and show them,
385
00:16:51,624 --> 00:16:53,985
rather than behaving like a mindless,
selfish, adolescent prick.
386
00:16:53,986 --> 00:16:55,305
Just a thought.
387
00:16:56,545 --> 00:16:58,785
Kit's ready, boss, so if you...
388
00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:02,865
Oh, sick - it's stuck
in his fucking helmet.
389
00:17:02,866 --> 00:17:05,224
Oi, Mac!
390
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,344
That's my photo!
391
00:17:06,345 --> 00:17:07,984
Aye!
392
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,105
Very nice!
393
00:17:19,985 --> 00:17:21,025
Knock-knock.
394
00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:24,144
Yes, Captain Medhurst.
395
00:17:24,145 --> 00:17:26,265
Look, I just wanted
to stop by to say sorry.
396
00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:27,304
For?
397
00:17:27,305 --> 00:17:29,544
For... You know.
398
00:17:29,545 --> 00:17:32,103
Permanently cracking onto me?
Making jokes about my gambling habit?
399
00:17:32,104 --> 00:17:33,465
Not respecting me or my job?
400
00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:35,304
The middle one.
401
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,104
And the last one.
402
00:17:37,105 --> 00:17:39,143
Wait, what was the first one again?
Doesn't matter.
403
00:17:39,144 --> 00:17:42,145
I'm theologically compelled
to forgive you, sadly.
404
00:17:42,146 --> 00:17:43,304
Great.
405
00:17:43,305 --> 00:17:45,663
Listen, I really did want to say
sorry.
406
00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:49,183
Um, I know that sometimes
I don't take things seriously enough
407
00:17:49,184 --> 00:17:51,265
and I know that losing a fiance...
408
00:17:51,266 --> 00:17:52,784
is terrible.
409
00:17:52,785 --> 00:17:54,585
Do you?
410
00:17:55,585 --> 00:17:57,265
All right, thank you, Nick.
411
00:18:07,985 --> 00:18:09,305
How long were you together?
412
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:14,463
Three years. Engaged for six
months. Ah!
413
00:18:14,464 --> 00:18:16,943
I can't compete with that.
Didn't even manage one month.
414
00:18:16,944 --> 00:18:20,905
What, you were engaged?
It doesn't count if it was for a bet.
415
00:18:20,906 --> 00:18:22,144
No.
416
00:18:22,145 --> 00:18:26,224
Took her to Vienna, got down on
one knee in the Riesenrad,
417
00:18:26,225 --> 00:18:29,383
looking out over St Stephen's
Cathedral. Yeah, what happened?
418
00:18:29,384 --> 00:18:31,743
You didn't cheat on her, did you?
I didn't cheat, no.
419
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,783
We got back and in the cold light
of Gatwick Airport,
420
00:18:33,784 --> 00:18:35,665
she 'fessed up to sleeping
with one of my mates.
421
00:18:35,666 --> 00:18:39,505
What? No!
Yeah, I was engaged for 16 hours.
422
00:18:40,825 --> 00:18:43,385
Since then it's been hard to...
find someone to trust.
423
00:18:44,545 --> 00:18:47,265
Yeah, I can imagine
that would be difficult.
424
00:18:48,305 --> 00:18:49,745
What was her name?
425
00:18:51,105 --> 00:18:53,464
Marianne, why?
426
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,544
Mary Ann?
427
00:18:55,545 --> 00:18:56,943
Hm. No, no, no, no, no.
428
00:18:56,944 --> 00:19:00,423
I mean, good improvisation skills,
but I can see what you're doing.
429
00:19:00,424 --> 00:19:02,503
"The cold light of Gatwick Airport"?
430
00:19:02,504 --> 00:19:04,585
Come on. None of that's true, is it?
431
00:19:06,505 --> 00:19:09,584
No. No. Just... Just made it up.
432
00:19:09,585 --> 00:19:11,625
Thought you'd be convinced by the
detail.
433
00:19:11,626 --> 00:19:13,545
Riesenrad.
434
00:19:17,705 --> 00:19:20,705
Anyway, er, where are we
with those pork scratchings?
435
00:19:20,706 --> 00:19:22,665
Never mind. Crack on.
436
00:19:29,345 --> 00:19:31,143
Ah, Sergeant Bird. Don't get up.
437
00:19:31,144 --> 00:19:35,263
HQ seem very keen on you, so want
you up there for good on Friday.
438
00:19:35,264 --> 00:19:37,143
Er, I thought I'd be double-hatting
for a couple of weeks, sir.
439
00:19:37,144 --> 00:19:39,065
You can't wear two hats
in the field for long.
440
00:19:39,066 --> 00:19:42,504
Unless you have a very big head.
Sir.
441
00:19:42,505 --> 00:19:44,903
So, you need to pick a new bleep
for your detachment,
442
00:19:44,904 --> 00:19:47,745
and you'll be playing bridge
in Bastion in no time.
443
00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:49,624
Exciting.
444
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:50,864
Carry on.
445
00:19:50,865 --> 00:19:52,824
Sir. Sir.
446
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,385
We getting a new bleep?
Gie's a look! Yep.
447
00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:57,664
Apparently I'm off in three days.
448
00:19:57,665 --> 00:19:59,185
Lucky you. So, I'll be up to HQ.
449
00:19:59,186 --> 00:20:02,064
Geek. Twat. Gay.
450
00:20:02,065 --> 00:20:03,945
And not here. With you. Gay.
451
00:20:03,946 --> 00:20:07,304
In three days?
Whoa! Who is that?
452
00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:08,543
Does this CV have measurements?
453
00:20:08,544 --> 00:20:10,905
Yeah, yeah. Military personnel
files have bust sizes.
454
00:20:10,906 --> 00:20:13,704
What? Really?
She's fit.
455
00:20:13,705 --> 00:20:15,504
Corporal Ava Bishop. Yeah.
456
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,303
Yeah, easily the least qualified.
457
00:20:17,304 --> 00:20:19,503
She looks pretty
fucking qualified to me. Aye!
458
00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:23,223
Yeah, cos when we disrupt enemy
communications in the electronic battle space
459
00:20:23,224 --> 00:20:26,223
with our jamming capabilities,
we operate the equipment with our tits.
460
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:27,943
I just heard "jam" and "tits".
461
00:20:27,944 --> 00:20:30,223
You do know this is to replace me,
yeah?
462
00:20:30,224 --> 00:20:33,463
Aye, your big promotion.
Good on you. Can we get this one?
463
00:20:33,464 --> 00:20:35,025
Just give me that! All right!
464
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:36,265
Go on, piss off.
465
00:20:41,705 --> 00:20:44,464
Hi, guys. Hiya, Bird.
466
00:20:44,465 --> 00:20:46,344
Toffee?
467
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,904
I just want to say,
well done on your promotion.
468
00:20:49,905 --> 00:20:52,344
Thanks, Padre.
You pleased?
469
00:20:52,345 --> 00:20:53,665
Yeah.
470
00:20:55,785 --> 00:20:57,425
Well, if that's your padre-ing done,
471
00:20:57,426 --> 00:21:00,904
lot of work, so...
Yeah, absolutely, sure.
472
00:21:00,905 --> 00:21:03,143
Just want to say,
your team will miss you...
473
00:21:03,144 --> 00:21:04,983
What is their fucking problem?!
474
00:21:04,984 --> 00:21:06,703
Could they not show some sign
of being sorry to lose me?
475
00:21:06,704 --> 00:21:09,583
They're all, like, "Off you fuck,
Bird. Can your replacement have big tits?"
476
00:21:09,584 --> 00:21:11,223
I'm sure they actually...
477
00:21:11,224 --> 00:21:14,263
Have they not noticed that I save
their lives on a daily fucking basis?
478
00:21:14,264 --> 00:21:15,543
I don't even want to go to HQ.
479
00:21:15,544 --> 00:21:18,785
I'd stay if they'd ask me,
but they haven't, so fuck 'em.
480
00:21:22,825 --> 00:21:24,143
Look, I'm not defending them,
481
00:21:24,144 --> 00:21:26,945
but these aren't the most
emotionally mature guys
482
00:21:26,946 --> 00:21:29,024
we've ever met, are they?
483
00:21:29,025 --> 00:21:31,263
I mean, look at Nick. He'd be
quite a nice guy if he was...
484
00:21:31,264 --> 00:21:34,705
Oh, here we go! How have we ended up
talking about Nick bloody Medhurst?!
485
00:21:34,706 --> 00:21:36,064
Yes, you're right.
486
00:21:36,065 --> 00:21:37,344
Sorry. I'm, um...
487
00:21:37,345 --> 00:21:38,944
No. What did he say?
488
00:21:38,945 --> 00:21:42,545
Oh, nothing. Just a cock and bull
story about being engaged. Blah-blah-blah.
489
00:21:42,546 --> 00:21:45,184
Oh! Marianne. The Blonde Betrayer.
490
00:21:45,185 --> 00:21:47,064
Oh, sh...
491
00:21:47,065 --> 00:21:49,625
Sugar. I just threw him out
for making it up.
492
00:21:49,626 --> 00:21:51,024
Ha!
493
00:21:51,025 --> 00:21:53,385
You're the... shittest padre ever.
494
00:21:59,865 --> 00:22:02,823
Drumcredie Castle has loads
going for it. It's beautiful.
495
00:22:02,824 --> 00:22:04,623
If you like that sort of thing.
Which I do.
496
00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:07,745
And you don't mind how much the
corkage costs. Which I don't. It's...
497
00:22:07,746 --> 00:22:10,464
Yup. Yup.
498
00:22:10,465 --> 00:22:13,705
Yeah. Before we completely rule out
all the other opt... Yeah.
499
00:22:13,706 --> 00:22:14,864
Yep.
500
00:22:14,865 --> 00:22:18,503
No, happy to rule out River Court,
despite its many practical bonuses.
501
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:21,225
Yeah. I wonder if there is a third
opt...
502
00:22:23,505 --> 00:22:24,705
Darling, I've got to go.
503
00:22:24,706 --> 00:22:26,184
Well...
504
00:22:26,185 --> 00:22:28,703
Yeah, the IED is
quite important too.
505
00:22:28,704 --> 00:22:30,263
Look, it's just a case of...
506
00:22:30,264 --> 00:22:32,465
No, I do like Bum... Brum...
Drum... Drum... Drumcredie.
507
00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:36,425
But just have another look
at Handleford Hall,
508
00:22:36,426 --> 00:22:38,544
because the corkage is...
509
00:22:38,545 --> 00:22:40,545
It doesn't matter. Bye!
510
00:22:51,265 --> 00:22:54,744
Bird? We getting that Corporal Ava?
511
00:22:54,745 --> 00:22:57,824
Fuck's sake. She's 26, Mac.
Bit old for you.
512
00:22:57,825 --> 00:23:00,185
I'm broad-minded.
Yeah, well, she's not blind.
513
00:23:01,425 --> 00:23:04,345
All right, Millsy. We'll let that
soak. Boss.
514
00:23:04,346 --> 00:23:09,104
Bird. A word.
Yes? What? Is this about Mary?
515
00:23:09,105 --> 00:23:10,944
No.
516
00:23:10,945 --> 00:23:11,944
Yes.
517
00:23:11,945 --> 00:23:13,703
Yes, she asked about your fiancee.
518
00:23:13,704 --> 00:23:16,783
Yes, I told her she 'fessed up
to sleeping with your mate. And?
519
00:23:16,784 --> 00:23:19,223
And no, I didn't tell her
you then shagged her sister.
520
00:23:19,224 --> 00:23:21,545
Awesome.
Where would I be without you, Bird?
521
00:23:21,546 --> 00:23:22,865
Dead, I expect.
522
00:23:23,825 --> 00:23:25,945
Yeah. Dead.
523
00:23:29,225 --> 00:23:31,903
Do you think she's all right?
I don't know, Millsy.
524
00:23:31,904 --> 00:23:34,103
I'm finding her particularly tricky
to read at the moment,
525
00:23:34,104 --> 00:23:36,825
but no, I do NOT
think she's all right.
526
00:24:13,065 --> 00:24:14,503
Ah, Mary, can I have a word?
527
00:24:14,504 --> 00:24:16,865
Absolutely, yes, I owe you an
apology. We need to...
528
00:24:16,866 --> 00:24:19,304
Oh, well... yes. Yes.
529
00:24:19,305 --> 00:24:22,223
I'm sorry for what I said
about your experience in Vienna.
530
00:24:22,224 --> 00:24:23,865
I know how painful that must have
been.
531
00:24:23,866 --> 00:24:27,624
It's fine. It's all water
under the Konstantinsteg.
532
00:24:27,625 --> 00:24:31,503
Vienna's oldest bridge.
OK, you were in Vienna, I get it.
533
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:33,183
Now, you wanted a word with me?
Yeah.
534
00:24:33,184 --> 00:24:35,383
It's about Bird.
I don't think she's happy.
535
00:24:35,384 --> 00:24:37,783
And at the end of the observation
round, Nick's team scores one point.
536
00:24:37,784 --> 00:24:40,303
What's wrong with her?
Are you going to miss her?
537
00:24:40,304 --> 00:24:41,903
Yeah, she's awesome, one in a
million.
538
00:24:41,904 --> 00:24:43,225
Have you told her that? Yeah...
539
00:24:43,226 --> 00:24:44,664
probably.
540
00:24:44,665 --> 00:24:46,104
A while ago.
541
00:24:46,105 --> 00:24:47,985
Oh, I see.
542
00:25:01,825 --> 00:25:04,105
Sergeant Bird. Yes, sir.
543
00:25:05,265 --> 00:25:07,265
Sorry, sir.
544
00:25:10,225 --> 00:25:13,863
The file for Corporal Ava Bishop's
gone missing. Any ideas?
545
00:25:13,864 --> 00:25:16,583
Er, yeah, Mac would
have picked that up.
546
00:25:16,584 --> 00:25:18,463
We should probably check his bunk.
547
00:25:18,464 --> 00:25:20,743
Why don't we wait for him
in the Det?
548
00:25:20,744 --> 00:25:23,065
Don't want to catch him
"thrappus interruptus," do we?
549
00:25:23,066 --> 00:25:25,705
Probably not, sir. Shall we?
550
00:25:39,825 --> 00:25:43,344
You bunch of soft bloody pansies.
Thank you.
551
00:25:43,345 --> 00:25:45,545
Ladies and gentlemen...
Well, ladies and men.
552
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:48,905
It's now time for the award
for Best Bleep Ever.
553
00:25:50,545 --> 00:25:54,504
There's only one nomination,
and the award goes to...
554
00:25:54,505 --> 00:25:56,745
Sergeant Lynda Bird!
555
00:25:59,065 --> 00:26:04,225
Bird, for services to Bluestone 42,
we would like to present you with this
556
00:26:04,226 --> 00:26:06,824
hastily assembled piece of...
557
00:26:06,825 --> 00:26:08,145
award!
558
00:26:10,065 --> 00:26:11,744
To Bird! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
559
00:26:11,745 --> 00:26:14,544
OK, raise a glass to me.
560
00:26:14,545 --> 00:26:16,865
Cos I'm fucking brilliant
and none of you lot should forget it.
561
00:26:16,866 --> 00:26:18,704
And just so you don't...
562
00:26:18,705 --> 00:26:21,865
I hereby announce
that I will not be going to Bastion,
563
00:26:21,866 --> 00:26:24,985
but instead remaining here
as Corporal Bird.
564
00:26:28,425 --> 00:26:32,184
Oh, and Colonel...
you can tell Corporal Bishop
565
00:26:32,185 --> 00:26:35,265
she's been spared a tour of
duty with a bunch of sex pests.
566
00:26:35,266 --> 00:26:36,744
Here's to me!
567
00:26:36,745 --> 00:26:38,264
To Bird!
568
00:26:38,265 --> 00:26:40,585
By the way, there's one more award,
there's one more award.
569
00:26:41,745 --> 00:26:44,904
This is the award
for the lance corporal
570
00:26:44,905 --> 00:26:47,785
most likely to forget
to log out of his e-mail,
571
00:26:47,786 --> 00:26:50,184
Simon Lansley.
572
00:26:50,185 --> 00:26:54,704
There was a cancellation
at Bumcredie Castle,
573
00:26:54,705 --> 00:26:57,865
and your fiancee took it
because you seemed so keen.
574
00:26:57,866 --> 00:27:00,264
What?! Oh-ho-ho-ho!
575
00:27:00,265 --> 00:27:01,745
Brilliant!
576
00:27:04,105 --> 00:27:07,384
Arsehole! Arsehole! Arsehole!
577
00:27:07,385 --> 00:27:08,624
I got you...
578
00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:10,545
these.
579
00:27:11,585 --> 00:27:12,944
Pork scratchings.
580
00:27:12,945 --> 00:27:14,983
Always knew you were
the best padre ever.
581
00:27:14,984 --> 00:27:16,823
They're not easy to come by
in a strict Muslim country.
582
00:27:16,824 --> 00:27:19,825
I'm now pledged in marriage
to Faruq's oldest son.
583
00:27:19,826 --> 00:27:22,304
Still... nice to be engaged again.
584
00:27:22,305 --> 00:27:24,544
Thanks, Nick.
585
00:27:24,545 --> 00:27:27,823
Sir, I need your help
getting a picture back from Mac.
586
00:27:27,824 --> 00:27:31,663
Before you go on, Corporal,
take this folder back to my office.
587
00:27:31,664 --> 00:27:33,905
Be extremely careful
with that picture...
588
00:27:33,906 --> 00:27:37,984
because it could fall off
and be very easily replaced.
589
00:27:37,985 --> 00:27:39,664
Sir.
590
00:27:39,665 --> 00:27:40,865
Carry on.
591
00:27:46,705 --> 00:27:47,744
Mac...
592
00:27:47,745 --> 00:27:49,384
swap?
593
00:27:49,385 --> 00:27:50,824
Brilliant!
594
00:27:50,825 --> 00:27:52,424
Hm.
595
00:27:52,425 --> 00:27:54,105
Ha-ha!
596
00:27:56,185 --> 00:27:59,105
- Ooh!
- Go on, Mac.
597
00:28:00,145 --> 00:28:01,545
Fiver on Millsy.
598
00:28:03,853 --> 00:28:32,043
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599
00:28:32,093 --> 00:28:36,643
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