Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:09,324
I've got a feeling in my bones
2
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:11,281
this is the day I'm gonna
lower my handicap.
3
00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:13,480
I hope you do, sweetheart.
4
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:16,044
Gee, Sam. I know you were up
during the night with the baby. I...
5
00:00:16,170 --> 00:00:17,922
I feel like a heel
running off and leaving you.
6
00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:21,281
Don't be silly. Saturday is your day.
Live it up.
7
00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:23,207
Just say the word,
and I'll stay and give you a hand.
8
00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:24,604
I wouldn't dream of it.
9
00:00:24,730 --> 00:00:26,607
I really wouldn't mind.
10
00:00:27,650 --> 00:00:32,326
Darrin, will you go out there and lower
your handicap while the lowering is good?
11
00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:33,803
Talked me into it.
12
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:37,649
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
13
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:43,244
I hope you get a caddy that snickers.
14
00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:46,605
Mommy, will you read Mother Goose to me?
15
00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:49,039
I can't, sweetheart.
I'm ironing Daddy's shirts.
16
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:52,207
Please. I love Mother Goose.
17
00:00:52,330 --> 00:00:54,082
Then why don't you read the pictures?
18
00:00:54,210 --> 00:00:57,725
Okay, Mommy, if you'll read the words.
Please?
19
00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:01,604
Well, all right, sweetheart.
But just for a little while.
20
00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:10,639
Well, all right, sweetheart.
Let's see what we can find here.
21
00:01:14,210 --> 00:01:16,405
Hey, this looks like a good one.
22
00:01:16,530 --> 00:01:20,648
"Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
the cow jumped over the moon.
23
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:24,729
"The little dog laughed to see such sport,
and the dish ran away with the spoon."
24
00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:28,081
Mommy, why did the dish
run away with the spoon?
25
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:30,807
Well, I guess it was...
26
00:01:31,330 --> 00:01:32,649
Or maybe...
27
00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:35,367
Well, let's see.
28
00:01:35,490 --> 00:01:39,642
The dish ran away with the spoon because.
29
00:01:39,770 --> 00:01:42,330
- Because why?
- Because.
30
00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:50,002
Oh, dear.
Your little brother's awake, and hungry.
31
00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:53,202
He's not hungry, Mommy.
He's just crying for fun.
32
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,969
Want to hear me cry louder than Adam?
33
00:01:56,090 --> 00:01:58,001
No, thank you, sweetheart.
34
00:01:58,290 --> 00:01:59,518
I can.
35
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,762
Yes, I know.
36
00:02:01,890 --> 00:02:04,563
And if you're not careful,
you may get a chance to prove it.
37
00:02:04,690 --> 00:02:06,840
I was just kidding, Mommy.
38
00:02:06,970 --> 00:02:10,326
I know what, Tabitha.
While I check on Adam,
39
00:02:10,450 --> 00:02:13,203
how would you like Esmeralda
to come and read to you?
40
00:02:13,330 --> 00:02:16,242
- I'd like that.
- I thought so.
41
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,565
Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda?
42
00:02:21,090 --> 00:02:22,523
Yes, Samantha?
43
00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:27,839
- Hi, Esmeralda.
- Hi, Tabitha, sweetheart.
44
00:02:27,970 --> 00:02:30,689
Well, I'm glad you brought
your reading glasses.
45
00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:33,370
Now could you just bring the rest of you?
46
00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:36,329
First, tell me who else is at home.
47
00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:38,522
Darrin is playing golf.
48
00:02:39,370 --> 00:02:41,167
Then I guess it's safe.
49
00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:44,719
Esmeralda, do you like Mother Goose?
50
00:02:44,850 --> 00:02:46,408
Does she like me?
51
00:02:47,490 --> 00:02:49,845
I'm sure she would if she met you.
52
00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:54,201
If you'll read to Tabitha,
I'll tend to Adam's appetite.
53
00:02:54,330 --> 00:02:56,127
I'd love to, Samantha.
54
00:02:58,530 --> 00:02:59,758
All right.
55
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,683
It's a good book for reading.
56
00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:07,120
- It has lots of pictures.
- Yes, I see.
57
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,447
Hello?
58
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:16,686
Hi, Mrs Stephens. How are you?
59
00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:19,525
You are?
60
00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:21,998
You do?
61
00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:24,243
Right away?
62
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:29,763
Well, as a matter of fact, I am rather busy.
63
00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:33,525
Well, if it's an emergency,
64
00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:36,448
perhaps you better come over
and tell me about it.
65
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:38,447
Say, in a couple of hours?
66
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,165
You're at the corner drugstore?
67
00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:46,842
Well, all right, Mrs Stephens.
I'll expect you.
68
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,119
Bye-bye.
69
00:03:49,170 --> 00:03:50,603
Oh, good grief.
70
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:54,241
Esmeralda, who's Mother Goose?
71
00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:56,804
Mother Goose? Well, now, let me see.
72
00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:58,807
Mother Goose was...
73
00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:01,808
Mother Goose was...
74
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:14,683
Oh, dear me. I've done it again.
75
00:04:14,810 --> 00:04:17,370
I've just got to knock off that sneezing.
76
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,163
- Mother Goose!
- Oh, yes.
77
00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:22,724
I'm Mother Goose. But who are you, child?
78
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:25,444
You can't be Miss Muffet.
You have no tuffet.
79
00:04:25,570 --> 00:04:28,403
- I'm Tabitha.
- How did I get here?
80
00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:33,843
Well, you see, I'm a witch,
but my powers have sort of gone flooey.
81
00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:36,200
So sometimes when I sneeze or hiccup,
82
00:04:36,330 --> 00:04:39,322
the involuntary act
generates abnormal powers
83
00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:42,726
which materialise the thought
nearest my cerebellum.
84
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,769
I knew there would be a simple explanation.
85
00:04:46,890 --> 00:04:49,085
Mommy! Mommy!
86
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:50,848
What is it, sweetheart?
87
00:04:50,970 --> 00:04:52,847
Look who's here!
88
00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:57,081
Oh, my goose! It's Mother Stars. I mean...
89
00:04:57,210 --> 00:04:59,644
How nice to see you, Mistress Mary.
90
00:04:59,770 --> 00:05:01,567
Are you quite contrary?
91
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:04,961
I'll say I'm quite contrary.
92
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:08,082
- You're mad.
- No, I'm just...
93
00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:10,883
Mad. I don't blame you.
94
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:12,682
I'm so embarrassed.
95
00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:19,039
Esmeralda, please don't go.
I'll be right down.
96
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:17,000
Esmeralda, come back.
97
00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:19,121
She forgot her glasses.
98
00:06:21,690 --> 00:06:23,999
I say, that is a good trick.
99
00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:26,769
- How does she do it?
- Well, she doesn't exactly do it.
100
00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:30,041
It's just something that happens
when she gets upset.
101
00:06:30,530 --> 00:06:34,159
- She gets upset a lot.
- Oh, yes.
102
00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:37,043
Well, would you mind telling me
where I am?
103
00:06:37,170 --> 00:06:40,685
It's on the tip of my tongue,
but I just can't think of it.
104
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:44,123
You are in the 20th century.
105
00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:47,088
Oh, child, you jest.
106
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:53,403
No. No, no, no. Esmeralda sneezed,
and you're here because of witchcraft.
107
00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,919
- Well, I...
- And in a moment,
108
00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:59,042
Esmeralda will sneeze you back
into your book, I hope.
109
00:06:59,170 --> 00:07:02,446
- Yoo-hoo. Esmeralda?
- Excuse me, but what book?
110
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:04,845
Why, your book of nursery rhymes.
111
00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:10,438
- These are my rhymes!
- As you can see.
112
00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:13,084
Oh, how delightful!
113
00:07:13,210 --> 00:07:16,202
And they said
Hey Diddle Diddle wouldn't last.
114
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:18,926
Well, what do they know?
115
00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,442
Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda?
116
00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:27,120
That's probably Mother Hubbard.
117
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:30,401
I want you to stay out here with Tabitha.
Please?
118
00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:32,521
Well, certainly.
119
00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:37,530
Will you recite me Hey Diddle Diddle?
120
00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:44,403
- Hi, Mrs Stephens.
- Hello, Samantha.
121
00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:48,921
My, don't you look nice.
122
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:53,328
Oh, thank you, Samantha.
I'm so glad you like my outfit.
123
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:55,281
I bought it this morning.
124
00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:57,128
Well, good for you.
125
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:02,208
Well, what's the big emergency?
126
00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:06,006
It's all over, Samantha.
127
00:08:06,130 --> 00:08:08,405
- What is?
- My marriage, dear.
128
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:11,841
- I have left Frank forever.
- Again?
129
00:08:12,890 --> 00:08:15,927
- What happened?
- What happened?
130
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:18,610
He's impossible. That's what happened.
131
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:23,087
Well, he must have been
impossible about something.
132
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:26,088
If he wants to live in the past,
that's his business.
133
00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:30,647
I am a woman of tomorrow,
and I intend to dress like one, Samantha.
134
00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:32,522
Oh, I see.
135
00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:35,289
I take it he doesn't like your new outfit.
136
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,450
Well, as a matter of fact, he doesn't.
137
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:41,210
That can be very irritating.
138
00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:44,443
Luckily I have you and Darrin to stay with.
139
00:08:45,370 --> 00:08:48,567
- Stay with?
- Well, I wouldn't dream of imposing
140
00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:51,158
if you didn't have that fabulous Esmeralda.
141
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:55,921
Oh, yes. Esmeralda.
She is a treasure, isn't she?
142
00:08:57,090 --> 00:09:00,127
Fabulous. A treasure, did someone say?
143
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,922
Oh, there you are.
144
00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:03,847
Have you been here long?
145
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:06,438
Oh, yes. Yes, right along.
146
00:09:06,570 --> 00:09:09,038
Imagine not seeing a person
147
00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:12,685
when that person has been
right next to you all along.
148
00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:14,759
Imagine.
149
00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:22,529
Would you excuse us for just a minute?
150
00:09:22,650 --> 00:09:28,805
Of course, dear. I'll just sit and rest,
and try not to think about anything.
151
00:09:30,010 --> 00:09:31,807
I do like your mother-in-law.
152
00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:34,000
Yes, but a mother-in-law
and a Mother Goose
153
00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:37,805
in the house at the same time
are definitely too much mother.
154
00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:40,808
Well, just be patient.
Mother Goose will fade.
155
00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,966
My spells always do,
you know, sooner or later.
156
00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:46,321
Yes, yes, I know, but it's the "later"
that worries me, when Darrin gets home.
157
00:09:48,570 --> 00:09:50,845
Should I make up the guest room?
158
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,559
- What for?
- Your mother-in-law.
159
00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:57,440
One thing we know for sure,
she's not going to fade.
160
00:09:57,570 --> 00:09:59,128
That's comforting.
161
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,682
Yes. I guess you better
make up the guest room.
162
00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,799
This is especially good sherry.
163
00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:25,160
- Have some more.
- Lf you insist.
164
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:30,038
You know, Samantha,
Esmeralda is really remarkable.
165
00:10:31,610 --> 00:10:34,443
I could've sworn there was no one there,
166
00:10:34,570 --> 00:10:39,086
and then, all of a sudden,
there she was, out of the blue.
167
00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:42,885
Esmeralda prides herself
on being unobtrusive.
168
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,525
I was just wondering...
Oh, I didn't know you had a guest.
169
00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:50,682
Mrs Stephens, this is my aunt.
170
00:10:50,810 --> 00:10:54,166
Your aunt? Nonsense, child.
I'm Mother Goose.
171
00:10:54,930 --> 00:10:56,807
And I'm Little Bo-Peep.
172
00:10:57,650 --> 00:10:59,845
But I thought you might be Mother Hubbard.
173
00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:04,486
Oh, no. No, no, no.
This is Mrs Stephens-in-law.
174
00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:06,407
I mean, my mother-in-law.
175
00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:09,121
I was wondering if you might have some
curds and whey
176
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:10,569
for Little Miss Muffet and me.
177
00:11:10,690 --> 00:11:13,568
If you'll go out to the kitchen,
you'll find some.
178
00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:15,726
- Lovely.
- In the refrigerator.
179
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,686
Icebox. Marked "cottage cheese."
180
00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:21,960
Cottage cheese. How odd.
181
00:11:23,890 --> 00:11:27,326
Mother Goose. How odd.
182
00:11:28,810 --> 00:11:31,961
Mrs Stephens,
you'll have to excuse my aunt.
183
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,647
She really does think she's Mother Goose.
184
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:39,681
Tell me something, Samantha.
185
00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:42,639
Is your whole family wacky?
186
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,125
As wacky as witches, Mrs Stephens.
187
00:11:54,570 --> 00:11:56,765
- Oh, hi, Sam.
- Hi.
188
00:11:56,890 --> 00:12:01,406
Forgive me for barging in like this,
but I know Phyllis is here.
189
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:04,126
What makes you think she's here?
190
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:07,048
She left this forwarding address
for the mailman
191
00:12:07,170 --> 00:12:09,889
in a place where I'd be sure to see it.
192
00:12:10,010 --> 00:12:12,604
- Where'd she leave it?
- In my money clip.
193
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:17,640
That's so you'd remember to drop it off
when you went to the post office.
194
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:18,919
Goodbye.
195
00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:26,163
Phyllis, I don't know why you're so upset.
I honestly don't.
196
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:30,128
That just shows you
how insensitive men are.
197
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,481
- All I said about your new outfit...
- Frank, I know what you said.
198
00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:37,489
- You said, "Now, that's an outfit."
- Well, it is an outfit.
199
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:40,966
That is not what you meant
when you said, "Now, that's an outfit."
200
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:42,648
I meant that's not an outfit?
201
00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:46,399
Frank, you know very well
what you meant and it wasn't at all nice.
202
00:12:46,530 --> 00:12:48,407
Now, if you'll excuse me,
203
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:53,801
I'm going upstairs
and have one of my sick headaches.
204
00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:57,679
Women.
205
00:12:58,330 --> 00:13:01,640
I think they were invented to confuse men.
206
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,322
And who might this gentleman be?
The Farmer in the Dell?
207
00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:09,964
Oh, no. No, this is my father-in-law.
208
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:14,800
This is my aunt,
but her friends call her Mother Goose.
209
00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:20,847
- I'm glad to meet you, Mother Goose.
- And I to meet you, kind sir.
210
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:22,525
Well.
211
00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:26,443
You know, there's a great deal
to be said for the old-fashioned lady.
212
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:29,360
What a pretty compliment.
213
00:13:29,490 --> 00:13:31,640
Would you like to come out
into the garden with me
214
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:34,489
while I feed Miss Muffet
her curds and whey?
215
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,248
I wouldn't miss it.
216
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:48,199
- Sam, I'm home.
- Just what I needed.
217
00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:50,798
Little Boy Blue to come blow his cool.
218
00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:56,842
Well, that was a quick 18 holes.
219
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,530
Larry forgot to reserve our starting time.
220
00:13:59,650 --> 00:14:03,529
- We didn't even tee off.
- Then you didn't lower your handicap.
221
00:14:03,650 --> 00:14:06,210
No. I just raised my blood pressure.
222
00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:09,288
Well, you didn't have to leave home
to do that.
223
00:14:10,010 --> 00:14:11,568
Sam, what's wrong?
224
00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:14,602
We have a small disaster here, too.
225
00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:18,444
To begin with, your mother's here.
226
00:14:18,570 --> 00:14:21,004
Well, I'd hardly call that a disaster.
227
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:23,963
I said to begin with. Your father's here, too.
228
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:26,399
He's out on the patio.
229
00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:28,925
And what's so terrible about that?
230
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,727
With Mother Goose.
231
00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:34,519
What?
232
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,803
Well, it's nothing to be concerned about.
233
00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:39,682
Tabitha's chaperoning.
234
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,718
I know I'll hate myself for asking,
235
00:14:46,930 --> 00:14:49,285
but what's Mother Goose doing here?
236
00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:55,008
Well, I was reading to Tabitha
when Adam started to cry,
237
00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:58,008
so I yoo-hooed for Esmeralda
to come over and read to Tabitha.
238
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,882
Then your mother called
and said she was coming over.
239
00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:00,999
And Esmeralda sneezed,
240
00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,246
and all of a sudden,
there was Mother Goose and your mother.
241
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,359
Then your father arrived.
242
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:08,005
If Mother Goose doesn't fade out right away,
she can keep Tabitha entertained.
243
00:15:08,130 --> 00:15:10,485
I bet you've never heard
"Jack Sprat could eat no fat"
244
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,838
as told by the author.
245
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:15,406
And how long are you gonna let me talk
before you kill me?
246
00:15:20,410 --> 00:15:23,402
Really, sweetheart, you're going to enjoy
meeting Mother Goose.
247
00:15:23,530 --> 00:15:26,647
And what does one say
when one meets Mother Goose?
248
00:15:26,770 --> 00:15:29,489
Try, "Once upon a time." She'll love that.
249
00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:31,805
I sometimes wonder what we'd do for kicks
250
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:34,285
if it weren't for the trouble
your family gets us into.
251
00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:37,322
My family? Now, just a minute.
252
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:41,403
The reason we have a problem is that
your mother had a fight with your father
253
00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:43,521
and took refuge in our house.
254
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:48,007
Okay, Samantha. Okay.
It's my family's fault, and I'll handle it.
255
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:51,361
- Good.
- With the direct mortal approach.
256
00:15:51,490 --> 00:15:52,684
I'm going out to the patio
257
00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:56,200
and tell my father to go upstairs
and take my mother home.
258
00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:01,729
Gee, I wish I had thought of that.
259
00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:07,082
Read me another one, please.
260
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:09,166
Oh, well. Oh, here's one.
261
00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:14,159
"Jack, be nimble. Jack, be quick.
Jack, jump over the candlestick."
262
00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:16,326
Hello, everybody.
I hope I'm not interrupting.
263
00:16:16,450 --> 00:16:19,999
- Hi.
- Now, don't tell me. Let me guess.
264
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:23,520
Georgie Porgie. That's who you are.
265
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,844
Georgie Porgie.
266
00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:28,201
He's not Georgie Porgie. He's my daddy.
267
00:16:28,330 --> 00:16:31,208
And he's interrupting
a delightful performance.
268
00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:34,925
- Dad, I have to talk to you.
- It can wait.
269
00:16:35,770 --> 00:16:36,805
How's Mrs Stephens?
270
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:39,922
She's all settled in nice and cosy,
and I think I'm going to fade.
271
00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:41,608
There's no need for you to fade,
272
00:16:41,730 --> 00:16:43,960
at least not until you've gotten rid
of Mother Goose.
273
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:46,001
You sure know how to hurt a witch.
274
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,325
Just don't fade.
275
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:51,886
If it was your fault that your father-in-law
was flirting with Mother Goose,
276
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,444
and your mother-in-law was
practically passed out in the guest room,
277
00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:56,049
what would you do?
278
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,445
Well, when you put it that way...
279
00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:01,006
Well, so much for
the direct mortal approach.
280
00:17:01,130 --> 00:17:02,802
My father is so fascinated
with Mother Goose,
281
00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:04,761
he wouldn't even listen to me.
282
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,450
That may be an idea.
283
00:17:07,570 --> 00:17:11,324
Esmeralda, will you go get Tabitha
and take her up to her room?
284
00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:15,080
This may be just the thing
to bring your mother to her senses.
285
00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:17,770
Could you think that through
a little slower, please?
286
00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:19,926
Well, when she sees your father
with Mother Goose,
287
00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:22,883
she'll be the same as any other wife,
jealous.
288
00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:25,645
My mother jealous of Mother Goose?
289
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,928
Darrin, believe me.
290
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:31,565
You don't have to be a witch
to be wise in the ways of wives.
291
00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:33,089
Or something.
292
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:36,359
Come on.
293
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,641
Mother, may we come in?
294
00:17:45,770 --> 00:17:49,160
Oh, Darrin, I'm so glad you're home.
295
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:53,329
A son can be such a comfort
to a poor, wretched mother.
296
00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:56,760
- How's your head?
- Don't ask, dear.
297
00:17:56,890 --> 00:18:01,008
Why should I bore you
with the details of my throbbing pain?
298
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:08,523
I think what you need is a little fresh air.
299
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,529
"Uh-oh" what?
300
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,125
Do you think you could choke down
a little milk toast?
301
00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:30,243
Samantha, I want to know
what you're uh-ohing about.
302
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,609
Oh, nothing.
303
00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:35,085
People do not "uh-oh" about nothing.
304
00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:37,678
Well, it's nothing that would interest you.
305
00:18:37,810 --> 00:18:40,324
Is that funny aunt of yours still here?
306
00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:44,200
Yes. As a matter of fact,
she's out on the patio.
307
00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:46,400
With your estranged husband.
308
00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:50,846
Cute couple, aren't they?
309
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:56,848
You know, I think I will try
just a bit of fresh air after all
310
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,449
for my headache.
311
00:19:01,690 --> 00:19:05,763
But all in all, I've written
well over 500 rhymes for children.
312
00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:09,927
I'm proud to say that they're still popular.
313
00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:13,326
Oh, yes, yes.
You know, one of my favourites was...
314
00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:15,683
How does it go now?
315
00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:18,847
"Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub..."
316
00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:21,040
One thing you can say about Frank,
317
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:24,845
he's polite chatting with that old lady
about Rub-a-dub-dub.
318
00:19:24,970 --> 00:19:29,486
Actually, one of the very first I wrote
was about Jack Sprat and his wife.
319
00:19:29,610 --> 00:19:31,805
Would you like me to tell you
how that came to be?
320
00:19:31,930 --> 00:19:33,648
Well, yes, I would.
321
00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:37,838
But first, let's talk about us.
322
00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:43,680
Now, why did I say that?
323
00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:46,370
You were gonna tell me about Jack Sprat.
324
00:19:46,650 --> 00:19:50,438
Well, you remember how the line went,
"His wife could eat no lean"?
325
00:19:50,570 --> 00:19:52,640
Long-winded, isn't she?
326
00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:57,161
Mother Goose, this is fascinating.
And perhaps you'll tell me more
327
00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:00,849
when we take a spin in my new carriage.
328
00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,520
That would be delightful.
329
00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:08,928
A spin in my new carriage?
I don't have a new carriage.
330
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,961
Your old one will do.
331
00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:13,160
I don't even have an old one.
332
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:18,047
Why go anyplace?
I enjoy your company right here.
333
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,680
- Do you mind?
- Oh, not at all.
334
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:28,368
- You know, I've been thinking...
- I'll bet you have,
335
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:30,924
about the new life waiting for you.
336
00:20:31,650 --> 00:20:34,005
- New life?
- Oh, yes.
337
00:20:34,130 --> 00:20:38,203
- After the divorce, you'll get an exciting job.
- Job?
338
00:20:38,330 --> 00:20:40,286
Probably in electronics.
339
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:43,405
I don't know anything about electronics.
340
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:45,566
I'll bet you can hardly wait.
341
00:20:45,690 --> 00:20:48,841
I could wait a little while.
342
00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:51,962
Why wait? You certainly don't have to worry
about how Dad's gonna take it.
343
00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:56,563
He's gonna be very happy
with Mother Goose.
344
00:21:15,010 --> 00:21:18,320
What I saw could not possibly
have happened.
345
00:21:19,290 --> 00:21:20,848
What did you see?
346
00:21:21,970 --> 00:21:24,530
Mother Goose just changed into a goose.
347
00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:29,643
It must be the sherry.
That's Italian sherry, very strong.
348
00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:32,523
Oh, no. No, Samantha, let's face facts.
349
00:21:32,650 --> 00:21:34,720
I'm starting to see things.
350
00:21:36,090 --> 00:21:37,967
Mother Goose?
351
00:21:40,570 --> 00:21:42,686
Mother Goose, where have you gone?
352
00:21:42,810 --> 00:21:45,324
Oh, dear.
I wonder if I sneezed another no-no.
353
00:21:48,690 --> 00:21:50,487
Another no-no.
354
00:21:51,170 --> 00:21:53,365
Mother Goose. Mother Goose.
355
00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:04,049
It's all right.
356
00:22:04,370 --> 00:22:08,841
We only think we're seeing a pair of glasses
hanging in midair.
357
00:22:14,770 --> 00:22:18,558
We only thought we saw a pair of glasses
hanging in midair.
358
00:22:23,850 --> 00:22:26,410
I only thought I was talking to a goose.
359
00:22:31,330 --> 00:22:33,924
Frank! Frank.
360
00:22:35,810 --> 00:22:37,687
Daddy Bear is here, sweetheart.
361
00:22:37,810 --> 00:22:39,721
Frank, I want to apologise.
362
00:22:39,850 --> 00:22:43,365
I don't want to be the woman of tomorrow.
I just want to enjoy today.
363
00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,084
Phyllis, I'm glad to hear you say that.
364
00:22:46,210 --> 00:22:48,485
It may be later than we think.
365
00:22:49,010 --> 00:22:52,639
Frank, did you see a goose on the patio?
366
00:22:52,770 --> 00:22:54,681
I thought I did.
367
00:22:54,810 --> 00:22:57,165
Then there's only one thing to be said, dear.
368
00:22:57,290 --> 00:23:01,761
If we're going over the hill,
it's nice to be going together.
369
00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:13,166
They're only going over the hill.
370
00:23:13,290 --> 00:23:15,201
I'm going off my rocker.
371
00:23:15,330 --> 00:23:18,083
Yoo-hoo. Esmeralda?
372
00:23:18,210 --> 00:23:19,689
Samantha, what are you doing?
373
00:23:19,810 --> 00:23:22,802
Well, I'm just trying to get Esmeralda back
so you can thank her.
374
00:23:22,930 --> 00:23:25,444
- For what?
- Darrin,
375
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:27,367
when your mother arrived this afternoon,
376
00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:31,039
she was a tragic figure,
her marriage beyond repair.
377
00:23:31,170 --> 00:23:35,721
And now, thanks to Esmeralda,
two happy people just walked arm in arm
378
00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:38,080
out of our front door onto the...
379
00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:41,445
Not one more word.
380
00:23:41,495 --> 00:23:46,045
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
29825
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.