All language subtitles for Bewitched s02e16 The Magic Cabin.eng

If we don't come up with something
on the Kingsley potato chip account...

...I have to bring Larry home
to work tonight.

- That's all right.
- Two weeks.

Twelve hours a day, and nothing.

- Where's my case?
- Here.

I don't understand it. I've never
hit a dry spell like this before.

- Well, you'll think of something.
- I sure hope so.

Well, better put a lot of coffee on
just in case.

Haven't you forgotten something?

Good.

"A crunchy, tasty, crackling,
good experience...

...fit for the crown heads of Europe."
What do you think, Larry?

Who cares about the crown heads
of Europe?

We're selling a product
as American as apple pie.

"Kingsley's potato chips,
as American as apple pie."

I got it.

"Kingsley's potato chips
may be new and improved...

...but they're still
a chip off the old block."

This from the man who gave
the world the Caldwell soup slogan.

Pathetic.

Larry, I've got it! I've got it. Listen.

"Other potato chips may be
like chips that pass in the night...

...but Kingsley's potato chips make
you feel like your chip just came in."

How can you say something
like that with such enthusiasm?

I always get enthusiastic
when I'm desperate.

I've noticed. Whenever you leap
to your feet and yell...

...I know it's going to be a bomb.

Look, why don't we knock off
and try again tonight at your house?

"Knock off a bag of Kingsley's
potato chips tonight at your house."

How about that?

- Yeah, how about that.
- I don't get it, Larr.

My mind just isn't
functioning properly.

Relax, Darrin, you're trying too hard.
You're all tensed up.

You're right, Larry.
Even my brain feels clenched.

All you need is a few hours' rest...

...and I'm sure that by tonight
you'll be brimming over...

...with great ideas.

Kings...

Tonight.

That idea of yours about the costumes
and crowns, that wasn't too bad.

What was it?
I'm so punchy, I can't remember.

- Nothing.
- Can't you remember what you said?

I'm sorry, Larry.
My brain just isn't working.

Oh, Larry, he's tired.

If only he could get away
for a little while, take some time off.

Maybe that would help.

And I think I have just the place.

I own a little cabin in the woods,
a kind of a Catskill retreat.

- Sounds wonderful. Black?
- With sugar.

It's quiet, it's empty, it's yours.

Darrin can take tomorrow off,
and you can spend three days...

...right in the most beautiful scenery
that ever took your breath away.

What's the place like, Larry?

Well, it's kind of rustic.
Thanks, Sam.

I haven't had a chance to get up
there in, let's see, three years.

As a matter of fact,
it's up for sale now.

- Is it really quiet?
- There isn't even a phone.

What do you say?

No, Larry. I can't goof off
in the middle of an assignment.

You're no good to me like this.
Miserable, sleepy, grumpy.

- I get enough of that at home.
- Put it out of your mind, Larry.

There's nothing you can do
or say that'll make me go.

- You're fired.
- I'll go.

Well, it's quite something, isn't it?

It certainly is.

Rustic, dignified.

Did you ever see anything
with so much charm?

And such downright character.

Well...

...maybe it's better inside.

Oh, my stars.

Honey, watch where you step.
You better stay there.

Well, here we are,
"hovel sweet hovel."

How could Larry do this to us?
So I didn't come up with an idea.

Is that any reason to send us
into penal servitude?

Darrin.

- Darrin, I...
- No.

- Oh, well, Darrin...
- No, Sam. No magic.

Look, we can't use your witchcraft
every time we get into trouble.

There's something unnatural about it.

You understand, don't you?

Oh, boy. That's all we need.

Sweetheart, may I make
an un-magical suggestion?

- Please do.
- Let's go home.

Okay. Wait a minute.

We better check on what the roads
are like around here when it rains.

Remember, Larry said no telephone.

Honey, we'll just have to chance it.

Well, I'm game. I mean, even if
the roads are slippery and muddy...

...they can't hold us up too long.
The chances of getting hit...

...by lightening are,
well, extremely slim.

And I suppose if the bridges
are washed out, it really won't...

Okay. All right. Okay, okay.
Make me the phone.

Thank you.

Operator, I'd like a road report, please.
Can you connect me?

Sam.

What was that?

That was bad news.

It seems like the roads around here
wash out when there's a sun shower.

Honey, I don't want to chance it,
not in your condition.

Are you cold?

Well, a fire would be nice.

Well...

Sam...

...does it make you feel guilty
to know at this moment...

...the Boy Scouts of America are trying
to do that trick with sticks and stones?

Oh, so that's how they do it.

My, isn't that beautiful?

It's the perfect time
for a little redecorating.

Time for what?

Take that silly old chair.

There. That's better.

- Sam.
- You're right, sweetheart.

- I shouldn't be doing it this way.
- You certainly shouldn't.

- I should just do it all at once.
- That's not what I meant.

Now, Darrin,
you're tired and overworked.

And you really need
this little vacation.

You don't want to spend it in a dreary,
dilapidated old shack, do you?

Honey, I don't care about me,
I'm worried about you.

Okay.

You talked me into it.

Well...

I guess a mother-to-be
deserves some privileges.

How about a father-to-be?

It's pretty hard to put anything
over on you, isn't it?

Then how come you do it so often?

Mr. Tate?

- Yes?
- How do you do?

- How do you do?
- We're Mr. And Mrs. MacBain.

- We've come in reply to your ad.
- Ad?

- Concerning your cottage.
- Oh, that ad.

I almost forgot.
It's been listed so long.

We just got married, and we need
a place in the country.

- Don't we, Charles?
- We sure do, honey.

We're gonna be up that way tomorrow.
Is it all right if we have a look at it?

Of course.

At the moment, some friends
of mine are staying there.

I'm sure they wouldn't mind
showing you through.

We'd appreciate it, Mr. Tate.

From your description, it sounds
like what we're looking for.

Well, to be honest with you,
it might need a little work.

You don't have to sell us on it,
Mr. Tate.

For the money you're asking,
we don't expect Buckingham Palace.

Well, it has great potential.

I'm sure anyone with talent
could work wonders with it.

What a beautiful morning.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Sam!

There's no lock on the door. I wonder
if it's all right to leave it open...

...while we're gone.
- Would you like me to...?

Never mind.

Okay. I guess I've used up my quota
of witchcraft for the weekend.

For the weekend?
For the whole year.

Well, Mr. Tate was right.

It's no Buckingham Palace.

Who wants Buckingham Palace?

I adore it.

- So do I.
- Come on.

- They don't seem to be home.
- Try the door.

Oh, Charles. It's beautiful!

It's just what we've
been dreaming about.

You wouldn't believe it
from the outside.

Oh, look at these curtains.

Nice bar.

- Oh, and the fireplace.
- Neat bar.

Have you ever seen
such exquisite furniture?

Would you like a drink?

You get on that phone to Mr. Tate,
Charles, this minute.

You're calling from the cabin?

You will?

At the listed price?

Don't you even
want to quibble about it?

He wants $1000 down, honey.

I think $1000 down
would be fine, Mr. Tate.

Then it's a deal.
I'll have the papers drawn up.

- Thank you, Mr. Tate.
- My pleasure.

Oh, you must be
Mr. And Mrs. Stephens.

- Welcome to our new home.
- New...

- What?
- Home.

We just bought it,
lock, stock and barrel.

Bought?

Lock, stock and barrel?

That's what I said.

- Didn't I, Charles?
- You sure did, honey.

Sam, we can't let them.

You don't have to whisper. They're
outside, looking at the grounds.

Sam, we've gotta get out of this.

- Got to?
- Got to.

We can't allow that young couple
to spend their savings on this...

- This dump.
- Why? We'll leave it just as it is.

Honey, that's dishonest.
This isn't Larry's cabin.

This is witchcraft.

- But they'd enjoy it so much.
- Honey, turn it back.

- Well...
- Sam, turn it back...

...and let's get out of here.

Okay.

Mr. And Mrs. Stephens?

Yes?

- It's too divine to be true.
- Yes, isn't it?

Charles thinks he's died
and gone to heaven.

Well, that's one way out.

Don't you think you're being
just a trifle hasty?

I mean, things aren't always
what they seem.

- There are certain drawbacks.
- Such as?

Well, the...

The cross ventilation.

It's broken.

Mrs. Stephens, have you
ever had a sinus condition?

- Why, no. I...
- Well, Charles has.

The doctor says
it won't get better...

...unless Charles can be where
he can get plenty of fresh air.

Must it be this air?

Well, the night Charles' doctor
said that, I had a dream.

A little cottage in the country.

It was so beautiful, it...

It was so real that...

Well, that when I woke up,
I said to Charles:

"Charles, that's the one I want."

Ever since then,
we've been looking.

For months and months.
We've seen hundreds of places.

But not until we saw this one
here did...

Did I see anything that remotely
resembled the cottage of my dream.

- Come on, Charles.
- Where are you going?

- Back to the city.
- You changed your mind?

We're going to pack.

As soon as you're ready to leave,
we're moving in.

Darrin, I can't do it.

Honey, this house
is built by witchcraft.

It's the only one of its kind.

Now, you don't want poor Charles
searching forever with his sinuses.

Why don't we just leave it the way it is.
What possible harm could it do?

Every time you say that, I feel like
taking out accident insurance.

Okay, I'll call Fred Hinkle
in the morning.

- Who's Fred Hinkle?
- My insurance agent.

For Mr. And Mrs. Charles MacBain...

The young couple
that were here yesterday?

Yes. They telephoned
from the cabin this afternoon.

Strange they went
for that price so quickly.

I asked for a couple of thousand
more than I expected to get.

Oh, don't write that, Ms. Thatcher.

Write this:

Please draw up the said contract
as quickly as possible.

Yours very truly, et cetera, et cetera.

Type that up,
and you can go, Ms. Thatcher.

Thank you.

There's no phone in that cabin.

- Is that everything?
- I think so.

What is it?

- Isn't that Larry's car?
- It sure is.

We can't let him see the cabin
when it's not looking a mess.

Turn it back.

I can't believe it.

How could this place deteriorate
so much in three years?

Well, it has a lot of potential.

I can't believe
you spent the night here.

Oh, it wasn't so bad.

Sam fixed it up a little.

- Fixed it up?
- Yeah, it looked pretty bad before.

A mess. But can you
imagine what it would look like...

...with a few authentic
Early-American pieces?

Sure. It'd be the best-furnished
dilapidated shack in the country.

Why would the MacBains
want this place?

Maybe they're con artists.

Do you suppose there's oil
on this property?

- Darrin.
- What, honey?

I'll be right back.

Hi there.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Well, you see, it's still there.
- Still there?

When we got home last night,
I had to keep convincing myself...

...it was real and not just
some magical dream.

Alice still believes in fairy tales
with happy endings.

- I'll do my best.
- I beg your pardon?

Nothing.
I'm afraid you're a little early.

That's okay.
We'll just sit in the living room...

...and drink up the atmosphere.
- I'll get it.

I still can't believe it.

Well, welcome, landowners.

- Such as it is.
- Mr. Tate.

I hope you haven't
changed your mind.

Well, no.

- Haven't you?
- Why should we?

It's just as beautiful as ever.

- Beautiful?
- I'm just crazy about Early American.

You sure have a good eye
for decorating, Mr. Tate.

I do?

There's such an air of, well,
enchantment about this place.

I can't explain it.

Don't try. Please, don't try.

Enchantment? This pile of rubble?

To you, Mr. Tate,
a man in your position...

...this may certainly seem
like a pile of rubble.

But to Charles and me, it's...

Well, it is Buckingham Palace.

And to think, it's all ours
for only $5000.

Five thousand dollars?

Oh, Larry, I'm surprised at you.
Just look at this place.

- Sam!
- It wasn't easy raising the money.

But here's our check for the
down payment, $1000.

Five thousand dollars.

Well, we realize
it's worth a lot more.

Do you, Larry?

You're right, Samantha.

I can't let you have it.

- Well, why?
- It's a question of sleeping.

But the bed looks
extremely comfortable.

It's not your sleep
I'm worried about, it's mine.

I don't understand.

We want this place.

All right.

But at my price.

And that is?

- This.
- The down payment?

Paid in full.

- A thousand dollars?
- You son of a gun.

- I hope those kids will be happy.
- They looked happy to me.

You did a wonderful thing
for them, Larry.

Well, I suppose beauty
is in the eye of the beholder.

You know,
you're going to think I'm crazy.

But there was a time when that terrible
old cabin looked beautiful to me too.

I can't get over the look
on that young couple's faces.

You know, there are times when
being a witch can be very satisfying.

Well, don't get carried away.
I meant it when I said no more spells.

- I promise.
- Under any circumstances?

- Well...
- Sam!

- Under any circumstances.
- Good.

You know, it's just a matter of
willpower, self-control and...

- What's the matter?
- I don't know.

I can't understand it. I had the car
checked just before we left.

Does that little needle pointing
to "E" mean anything?

Yes, it means I forgot to get gas.

The last station's
about six miles back.

- That's a long walk.
- It certainly is.

- It really is raining out there.
- Pouring.

- Sam.
- What?

Sam, would you, you know...?

- Darrin! You said...
- I know what I said!

But this is... This is an emergency.

Under no circumstances, you said.

Sam, this is no time to split hairs.

- Oh, is that what I was doing?
- Yes.

Honey, couldn't you
make this one exception?

- I promised no more spells.
- Sam.

Would half a spell do?

Half a spell?

Now try it.

Half a tank of gas.

Now, what were you saying
about self-control?

Well, nobody's perfect.

Not even me.

As I was saying, there are times when
being a witch can be very satisfying.

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