All language subtitles for Awkward s05e13 College.eng

Previously on "Awkward"...

I'd come a long way
from sophomore year,

from being a random suicide girl

to just a random girl again.

Already I was feeling the core
emotional drama of senior year,

the sadness of doing something
for the last time ever.

We've been through so much together,

and we should graduate together.

I was thinking about
maybe taking a gap year.

All I want to do is love you,

and you fight me every step of the way.

I was class president, Jake.

What if I'm never president
of anything else ever?

You have a whole new life ahead of you.

It was so much less complicated

when I didn't know I
was in love with you.

Right back at you.

Matty and I still had
a lot to figure out.

We'd jumped through
too many hoops

to let a little thing like
distance come between us,

because deep down, we knew
that love would conquer all.

Of course, that's not
quite what happened.

[indistinct chatter]

[pensive music]

What are you doing here?

You missed the final.

What? I didn't miss the final.

I graduated. Here's my diploma.

Thank God the nightmare
of being trapped

in high school forever
turned out to be just that...

- [phone ringing]
- A nightmare.

Hey.

Yeah, of course I'll pick you up.

Yep, meet you at the curb.

Hey, you want to spend the night?

Yay! Okay, can't wait.

I love you too.

My first year of college
had been fantastic.

Even better than expected.

I was becoming the person
I was always meant to be,

and I was really
liking that person.

Oh, I just miss my
little girl so much

when I don't see her.

Well, the wait is over, I'm back!

[baby cries]

Oh.

Oh, it's okay. She's
just not used to you.

Uh... Lissa, what are you doing here?

I'm the nanny. Duh.

I didn't know Jenna
was coming back today.

Uh, not today. Last night.

Very late, which I guess
is why no one waited up.

I'm sorry, sweetie,
we've just been so crazed.

And it was so late.

So... what?

So you forgot?

Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
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I knew I'd undergone a
dramatic transformation

during my year away at college,

but was surprised that
everyone else had too.

Suddenly I was a
stranger in my own home.

Mom, did you get my hemp
milk? I'm non-dairy now.

Really? You weren't joking?

Ugh, sorry to be so rushed,

but I have to register for
summer school... I couldn't

carry a full course load last semester.

Are you non-dairy now 'cause
it makes you break out?

I think you've got a little blackhead.

What? No, that's my nose piercing.

Are you always here this early?

Oh, no, usually I just stay the night.

Uh, Liss, Morgan needs to go down soon,

and, Kev, I'll be back for dinner.

- Not sure I will.
- Okay.

Oh, uh, let me know if you
want me to order something in.

- Okay.
- Bye.

I don't like to cook.

So my triumphant return
hadn't been as triumphant

as I had hoped.

But the best part of
the day was yet to come.

I could unload to the
one person who knew

better than anyone
how to cheer me up.

Oh, God, Matty,

the one person I hoped I'd
never have to see ever again.

And after what happened,
I didn't think I would.

- How are you?
- You look good, I'm good.

Loudspeaker:... is for
immediate loading and unloading

of passengers only.

Oh, my God, T! You look amazing!

Hey, Babe. It's so good to see you.

Ugh, the flight from NYC was brute.

I cannot fly coach anymore. So not chic.

So I'm just waiting for one more bag.

This ho-bag!

Who are you calling a ho, you slore?

Aww, is Jenna an Uber
driver for the summer?

How traj.

Careful when you're loading my bags.

They're heavy.

Uh, so not loading your bags.

Don't give my attitude, Hamiltrench,

I know what you did to Matty.

Okay, I cannot stand not
knowing... WTF happened?

- It's complicated.
- Sades, what's the big ish?

Matty swore me to secrecy

because it's disgusting and humiliating.

Okay, then can we please
stop talking about it?

My best friend had
befriended my worst enemy?

How did that even happen?

But I needed to stop
worrying about my old friends

and look to my future.

My new job at Idea Bin, the
website where I'd scored

a competitive summer fellowship.

Idea Bin blended journalism
and personal essays

with listicles and
quizzes, and had quickly

gotten both a lot of
traffic and a reputation

as an incubator for
hot young writers.

Welcome, summer fellow.

Which one are you?

- Jenna Hamilton.
- Hi, I'm Ethan.

I'm the Associate Editor here,

and I supervise you fellowship peeps.

Hi, Jenna? I'm Max.

Max here, clearly a
glutton for punishment,

is back for his second
summer as an unpaid fellow,

as is Mia!

Hi.

Last summer, Mia got a piece
up her second week here.

She'll probably get a book deal
by the time the summer's over.

Bitch! JK.

This is a safe, nurturing
space where we encourage

both types of LOLing:

laughing out loud and living out loud.

Hey, I'm Ophelia, also a first-timer.

This is intimidating, right?

No, hon, don't be intimidated.

Jenna, what's your Twitter handle?

Oh, I haven't really
been tweeting that much.

Is this you? IAmJennaHam?

It's very Theodore Geisel. I like it.

Dr. Seuss's real name! Genius, Jenna!

Wait, 40 followers?

IAmJennaHam last tweeted in October.

I kind of backed off social
media when I was in Maine.

"My boo is coming to visit?" My boo?

Jenna, go to jail. That
was retired in 2005.

Oaf here has 11,000 Twitter followers.

I totally respect your
social media boycott.

I wish I could wean myself,
but I just suck at weaning.

I was breastfed till I was
six. Before it was chic.

Chickens, to be a
writer you need a brand.

And we establish and
cultivate that brand how?

On social media, that is how
the clickbait gets clicked.

That is how your sickness
is gonna go viral.

I'm happy to help you.

I spend way too much time
frittering with my twittering.

- Thanks.
- Don't worry, hon.

You'll catch up.

[jolly music]

Palos Hills Country Club
is a fun work environment,

but we do demand a commitment
to the highest level

of service and professionalism.

Oh, of course, Jakey.

You are, like, so serious now.

- This is my job.
- Yeah, dude.

I got your back.

This is gonna be a blast.

I wasn't too excited about
coming back home for the summer,

but now, you know, I am.

So are you gonna tell me
what went down with Jenna?

[clears throat] Jenna...

Jenna who?

Okay, I have everyone's
assignment except...

Jenna's.

Here it is.

Paper?

What, did you write it
with a quill by candlelight?

Why don't you just fax it to
me while you're at it, huh?

Maybe the fax will make a comeback.

- Yeah, and pagers.
- Tiddlywinks.

I can see your first byline now, Jenna.

"Making Backwards
Forwards." It's so... Etsy.

Just to be clear, hon, that is a joke.

Don't... don't actually do that.

How had I already
managed to become

the office laughing stock.

No, I wasn't gonna
get down on myself.

I wasn't gonna let anything
shake my confidence.

Hey, what'd I miss?

[bleep].

Guys, this is Luke, also
a second-year fellow.

Jenna. Good to see you.

Luke, the perfect guy,

the one who got away,

the one who reminded me
of what an immature mess

I'd been in high school.

Yup, cool, confident Jenna
had just left the building.

Oh... incoming!

Lizzy Raines, the
Editor-in-Chief of Idea Bin,

was one of my idols.

Her work was smart and incisive,

yet emotional and textured.

Hi.

I am way too angry to be mad right now.

Treacherous publisher
thinks that "Perishables"

is a bad title for a novel.

Lizzy, the new fellows are all here.

Hello. Welcome.

I'd like you all to think of Idea Bin

as a creative space, where
you can develop your craft

and find your voices.

I'm always available to you,

except when I'm in my
office with the door closed,

which is where I'm headed now.

Once you get to know her,
she's a total pushover.

So crazy that we're both working here.

Not that crazy.

Remember, we both discovered Idea Bin

when we saw that Shira Munroe
piece on shy exhibitionists?

You look great.

How have you been?

Great.

Spill... how was your first day at work.

Unbelievable... I actually ran into...

[gasps] OMG!

I thought I left this
at some after-hours party

in the West Village.

I have to tell Sadie; she
will freak that I found this.

I thought I was out two hundy!

Wow, you spend a lot
of money on clothes.

- You: Maine.
- Me: New York.

Dress for success, or wail and fail.

I guess, but the thing
about being in a small town

is that you get less
attached to, you know, things,

and more into, just, being.

Well, I'm glad you've been
peace-ing out in the woods,

if that's all you've been
doing since you went dark.

What?

Your social media blackout
did not go unnoticed, Jenna.

It was aggressive, like
you hung up on the world.

I had to, after what
happened with Matty, I just...

Okay, so what did happen with Matty?

I am dying to know.
Everyone is dying to know.

- It's hard to explain.
- That is a cop-out.

If you asked me about
my breakup with Adam,

I would tell you
anything you want to know.

Was it friendly?

It was hard.

TBH, if you hadn't gone
all M.I.A. "Paper Planes"

on social media, you
would already know that.

You feel me?

Yeah, I feel you.

[electronic music]

Hey, Sadita, college girl back in town.

Good to see you. Next?

So how are you?

Super busy right now,

but let's catch up soon, okay?

Soon sounds good.

Lates.

Sadie says Sergio's food
truck is out of control.

Jump on it, bay-bay!

"Oh, he is dying to jump
on me, but he's too busy

"with his stupid food truck right now.

Courtney Roy is throwing
a party in the Palisades."

Shut up!

Who's Courtney Roy?

Oh, some boring trustafarian
Sadie and I met in New York.

I hear her house is
sick, so I should go.

Can we rain check?

So... no sleepover?

I know, I suck, but this
party is going to be mayj.

But, you're more than welcome to come

if you want.

Why was it when people said
I was "more than welcome,"

I always felt less than?

Gee, T, you make it sound so appealing,

but I think I'll pass.

I may not have been cool
enough for Tamara anymore,

but at least I could
go home to my parents.

Shockingly, I actually
wanted to hang out with them.

I'd missed them a lot
more than I expected.

Oh, hey, Jenna, we didn't
know you'd be home for dinner.

Change of plans.

Well, we're going out for a date night,

but, um... you're more
than welcome to join.

Yeah.

The dreaded "more
than welcome" again.

That's okay, you guys should go.

- Okay, bye.
- Bye-bye.

You don't have to stay. I
am happy to take care of her.

- All right.
- [baby cries]

Oh.

- Maybe you should stay.
- Oh.

Hmm, must've been you, Jenna.

Weird.

Even my baby sister
didn't want to have

anything to do with me.

Well, she wasn't
the only crabby baby

who felt like crying.

It was time to go to bed

and put this day
out of its misery

so I could start all
over again the next day

with a clear head
and a good attitude.

- Good morning.
- Hey.

Guess we're gonna have to get used to

seeing each other every day.

Yeah, still can't get
over the coincidence.

Okay, to be perfectly honest,

maybe not all that coincidental.

I might have seen your
application on the pile

and given it an extra push.

Oh.

So it wasn't a
fluke; it was Luke?

I thought I had
gotten this internship

on my own merit, but it was just

the helping hand of
someone from my past.

And it seemed like
the more I wanted

to put my past behind me,

the more it wanted to
get all up in my face.

I just got an invite to a
little high school gathering.

Same old Palos Hills.

Still a little Matty drama, huh?

Oh, no, I'm not that girl anymore.

College has given me a
whole new perspective.

Good.

Looks like we're starting up.

I ask our new fellows to write about

their worst experience
ever because I am a fan

of ritual humiliation.

JK!

I ask because it is hard
to be both confessional

and engaging.

So, Jenna, tell me,

why do you think your
essay is interesting?

Well, it's about how
profoundly we can be affected

by others' misperceptions of us.

I broke my arm in a freak accident,

but the story... the
accepted truth... was that

I tried to kill myself.

Right, but if you didn't actually

try to kill yourself,
then what are the stakes?

I just...

Let me put it into
context for you, okay?

Ophelia wrote about how
she did commit suicide.

I was dead for two minutes
before they revived me.

So you see? Ophelia was dead.

That's interesting.

I don't want to die again,
though, I'll tell you that much.

You know, heaven seemed
really middle-of-the-road.

[indie rock music]

Are you sure you don't want to come?

More than.

Hamilslag, there's a
30-foot no-slunt zone

around Matty, 'Kay?

Sadie, really, didn't you grow up at all

your entire year of college?

You guys, I'm really
trying to swing this

and be bi-friendsual,
but your girl-fighting

is making it muy hard.

Go have fun with the
high school crowd, TK.

I'm in the mood for some good Mexican,

and you can't get that in the city.

Get on it, you slut.

Both: Muah. Muah.

- You see Matty?
- No.

Are you really okay? Can you deal?

Of course. We're all adults now.

God knows we've all had our
fill of Matty and Jenna drama.

Yes, but, from another POV,

it's the gift that keeps on giving.

I thought this was just supposed to be

Palos Hills peeps.

Who's that sloppy rando?

My girlfriend.

Matty, I love your
friends. I really like them.

I'd been back from
college less than a week,

but all my illusions
about being a new,

powerful, confident
person were crumbling.

I can't believe that's
Matty's girlfriend.

She does seem kind of gauche atrosh.

And Matty seems like such a frat boy.

Thank God boys aren't all
fratted-out in the city.

Hey, babe, will you
make me a dirty martini?

Babe, we got beer... in red cups.

Welcome back to Palos Hills.

[funky dance music]

Hey, Sadita, what are you doing here?

Last night you said you
wanted to see me soon.

Well, now's soon.

Oh, man, I didn't say tonight, did I?

Been so crazy busy I can't keep track.

Yeah, and I can see what
you've been busy with.

I bet that whore puts
in a lot of overtime!

Sadie! That's my mom! Respect!

Uh-huh, now I know why you don't want me

to meet this Sadie girl.

Maldita.

I am so sorry, Mrs. Espinoza,

Sergio told me how young
and beautiful you are,

but I'm sorry...

Okay, she can get over it.

So where do you want to go?

Sadie, I didn't know you were coming.

I have plans.

With your mama?

No, with his girlfriend.

Hi, I'm Julia.

Oh, hi.

We'll just have to do it another time.

'Kay?

Pal?

I'm out!

- Hey.
- Hi.

What are you guys doing?

Making out with tongue.

So are you guys dating again?

Yeah, for six months.

Another thing you would have known

if you were on social media.

Yay, Sadie, you're here!

Hey, cutie.

So good to see you too. You look amaze.

Let's chat lates, 'kay? I
need to tell T something.

OMG, Sades, WTF? Tell me everything.

I mean...

Was it weird when you got home?

No, it's been super fun.

I have a baby, which is
perfect, since I've always wanted

to be a Palos Hills mom.

And your parents are
super cool and let Jake

spend the night whenever I want.

I mean, was he trying to humiliate me?

Poor communication
skills are inexcusable.

Me choir, keep preaching.

Jake and I work well as a couple.

Plus, between nannying and Atonercising,

I don't even have time to
look for a different boyfriend.

- That's romantic.
- I know.

The thing is, don't ambush me!

If you want to dip your little chip

into some nasty guac while I'm away,

that's fine, but just tell me.

It's not always easy to
communicate long distance.

Not for emotionally constipated slunts

like you, maybe.

Sades, Jenna is still my friend too.

Thanks, T, but it's
actually reassuring to see

that someone hasn't changed around here.

Hey, dude, ball, please.

This deep freeze is burning my ass.

Can you at least be civ to each other?

Fine.

Here's your girlfriend's ball, Matty.

Thank you, uh,

can you take some of
the stink off of it?

Oh, it came with that on it. Dude.

Sully's just playing.

Playing... is that what you call it?

Yeah, I do. What do you call it?

Rudeness.

But, whatever, Matty, this is just so

not what I expected out of you.

Yeah, well, this pretentious
bull[bleep] you're putting on

is exactly what I expected of you.

Pretentious?

Why, because I don't like
throwing balls at people's heads

and playing stupid drinking games?

Pretentious because
you've turned into some

self-righteous hippie
chick thinking you're

better than everyone
while standing there

with some stupid thing
stuck in your nose.

And this is why we can't
just be civ with each other.

I was mad at myself
for being stupid enough

to think Matty and I
could ever be okay again.

But I was even madder at Matty
for all those hurtful things

he said that made
me want to scream...

[baby cries]

Just rock her a little.

She needs to get used to her big sister.

Yeah, she wasn't prepared...

I know you've had a little
bit of a rough landing,

and I'm really sorry.

How would you know?

It's not like you've
been paying attention.

Well, am I right?

Yes. Everyone's changed.

Lissa has taken over our house,

Tamara and Sadie are best friends,

Luke got me my job without telling me,

and Matty has turned
into a complete jerk.

Okay, okay. Let's put
her back in her crib.

When everyone stops trying
so hard to be adults,

they'll stop acting like such children.

Trust me, they're still the same people.

But I've changed.

Mm-hmm, you're more confident;
you're even smarter...

but don't stop being
that sweet, sensitive girl

I know and love, okay?

Hey, I got you some
santizing wipes for your...

Thanks, but...

I think I'm actually
going to take it out.

It's getting a little infected.

I noticed.

I'm sorry Morgan's in your room,

and you don't have space
to do your writing...

You know, I actually
do have some space...

I was caught in a perfect
storm of emotions:

angry, happy, defeated, hopeful.

I knew I had to seize
the moment and work...

So I went to Idea Bin.

"I'm The Kind of Person Who
Found Her Voice In College."

I thought this piece
could say a lot

about heartbreak and growth...

sort of like a care-frontation
letter to myself.

I'd post it and tweet it
everywhere and anywhere.

Hey.

What are you doing here so early?

I've actually been here all night,

trying to write something
Ethan won't hate.

Listen, if he pushes you,
it's because he sees potential.

Or he sees a girl whose
ex-boyfriend got her the job.

Jenna, I wouldn't have pushed
your name on the top of the pile

if I didn't think you
were really talented.

Then, why didn't you
just tell me up front

before I started here?

I'm sorry, Jenna.

It didn't even occur to me that
you might be insecure about it.

Because I wasn't at all.

I mean, you're gonna make me look good.

Well, I'm no Ophelia.

I didn't like her essay all that much.

And, FYI, Ophelia got the internship

because her dad's tight with Lizzy.

- Really?
- Yes.

And I got the job because
I was in Lizzy's class,

and she likes me.

There's not too much happens
that's completely blind.

Knowing someone helps.

I feel so naive.

Well, I don't want to disillusion you...

You can't.

You are not the same
girl you were last year.

Sorry to disappoint you.

I'm not disappointed.

You keep getting better and better...

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