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1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,869
[slow jazz]
2
00:00:07,373 --> 00:00:10,674
[Man]
Oh death, where is thy sting?
3
00:00:10,776 --> 00:00:13,244
Oh grave, where is thy victory?
4
00:00:13,379 --> 00:00:17,381
For man that is born of woman
hath but a short time to live,
5
00:00:17,466 --> 00:00:19,333
and is full of misery.
6
00:00:19,418 --> 00:00:22,970
He cometh up and is cut down
like a flower.
7
00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:26,056
He fleeth as it were a shadow.
8
00:00:26,158 --> 00:00:29,493
In the midst of life,
we are in death.
9
00:00:29,595 --> 00:00:33,163
In the midst of death,
we are in life.
10
00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:35,366
[Lana] It was a nice service.
[Malory] Hmm.
11
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:37,234
And he had a good, long life.
12
00:00:37,336 --> 00:00:39,770
He did, for a heroin addict.
13
00:00:39,872 --> 00:00:41,405
Sad Archer wasn't there.
14
00:00:41,507 --> 00:00:42,840
Or here.
15
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:45,542
It's been a long
couple of months.
16
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,111
Three, next week.
17
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,546
You should go sleep
in a real bed.
18
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:51,982
I'm fine. I want
to be here if--
19
00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:53,550
When he wakes up.
20
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:56,053
Yeah. Did the doctor--
21
00:00:56,155 --> 00:00:57,454
The same.
22
00:00:57,556 --> 00:00:59,223
Could be tomorrow,
23
00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,258
could be another three months.
24
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:05,262
Could be...
Yeah.
25
00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:06,697
Well, I guess I'll go.
26
00:01:06,799 --> 00:01:08,332
I'll try to bring
A.J. by tomorrow.
27
00:01:08,434 --> 00:01:11,602
Or Friday.
We'll be here.
28
00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:14,071
At least he doesn't know
Woodhouse died.
29
00:01:14,173 --> 00:01:16,707
That would break his heart.
Mm-hmm.
30
00:01:16,809 --> 00:01:19,777
Although there's no telling
what he knows.
31
00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:22,229
Or what he's thinking about.
32
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:25,649
Well, dreaming about, I suppose.
33
00:01:31,857 --> 00:01:33,757
No.
34
00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:34,742
No, no, no!
35
00:01:36,028 --> 00:01:38,662
No!
[grunting]
36
00:01:38,764 --> 00:01:40,397
No!
37
00:01:40,499 --> 00:01:42,700
Noooo!
38
00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:49,506
[jazzy theme]
39
00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:21,723
- Synced and corrected by honeybunny -
- Re-synced by darthfrede - www.addic7ed.com
40
00:02:26,118 --> 00:02:28,290
Let me go, God damn it!
Come on!
41
00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:30,644
Go easy, Archer.
Poovey, I swear to Christ,
42
00:02:30,746 --> 00:02:32,913
I will punch you
right in the... genitals.
43
00:02:33,015 --> 00:02:36,383
It's okay. Let him go.
You big lummox.
44
00:02:36,485 --> 00:02:39,586
Oh, Jesus. Woodhouse.
45
00:02:39,688 --> 00:02:42,990
So, where are you, Figgis? You got any
leads? What do you think happened?
46
00:02:43,092 --> 00:02:45,292
I think he got too far
behind on his dope tab,
47
00:02:45,394 --> 00:02:47,661
so sometime last night his dealer
punched his ticket for him.
48
00:02:47,763 --> 00:02:49,796
Yeah, and wouldn't that
be convenient?
49
00:02:49,898 --> 00:02:51,098
[chuckles]
Not for him.
50
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,799
You little rat fu--
[whistling]
51
00:02:52,901 --> 00:02:54,334
Oh!
Now, scram, Archer.
52
00:02:54,436 --> 00:02:57,471
Ow. Son of a--
I mean, just ow.
53
00:02:57,573 --> 00:02:59,673
You can claim the body
at the morgue.
54
00:02:59,775 --> 00:03:02,376
But that better be the last time I
smell you anywhere near this case.
55
00:03:02,478 --> 00:03:04,311
Yeah, we'll see about that.
56
00:03:04,413 --> 00:03:07,314
Yeah? And we'll see how you
like it when I yank your P.I. license.
57
00:03:07,416 --> 00:03:09,049
[sighs]
See you around, Poovey.
58
00:03:09,151 --> 00:03:10,217
Take it easy, Archer.
59
00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:11,918
Oh, hey, and Archer?
60
00:03:12,021 --> 00:03:14,087
Come to think of it,
where were you last night?
61
00:03:14,189 --> 00:03:15,155
Ask your wife.
[growls]
62
00:03:15,257 --> 00:03:17,758
Ah, you know his wife left him.
63
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:21,395
For you, Archer, 'cause you screwed
her tits off at the precinct cookout.
64
00:03:21,497 --> 00:03:23,430
So then she thought the two
of you would get married
65
00:03:23,532 --> 00:03:26,600
and live happily ever after,
but then you were like, "What?"
66
00:03:26,702 --> 00:03:28,969
Exactly. That face
right there.
67
00:03:29,071 --> 00:03:31,805
I--
[groans]
68
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,607
How does that help?
69
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:36,076
Mm, humanizes you?
70
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,281
[whistling]
71
00:03:41,383 --> 00:03:42,649
Hey, pal. You got a second?
72
00:03:42,751 --> 00:03:44,151
I do not, actually,
73
00:03:44,253 --> 00:03:47,454
and I am not, come to
think of it, so screw.
74
00:03:47,556 --> 00:03:50,290
Hm. I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that.
Wh--
75
00:03:50,392 --> 00:03:52,392
Do you know who I work for?
76
00:03:52,494 --> 00:03:54,394
Do you know how much
I don't care?
77
00:03:54,496 --> 00:03:56,063
About what?
Living out the week?
78
00:03:56,165 --> 00:03:57,731
'Cause we're both
out of luck, friend.
79
00:03:57,833 --> 00:03:59,566
I left all my cash at the track.
80
00:03:59,668 --> 00:04:01,601
But if maybe you wanted
some dope--
81
00:04:01,703 --> 00:04:03,103
Do I look like a junkie to you?
82
00:04:03,205 --> 00:04:04,671
I don't know.
I try not to judge.
83
00:04:04,773 --> 00:04:06,373
You used to sell to this guy.
84
00:04:06,475 --> 00:04:07,874
Yeah, Woodhouse. He--
85
00:04:07,976 --> 00:04:09,142
Wait. Used to?
86
00:04:09,244 --> 00:04:11,111
He's dead.
What?
87
00:04:11,213 --> 00:04:12,779
Oh, for the love of--
88
00:04:12,881 --> 00:04:15,549
He was one of--
No, he was my best customer.
89
00:04:15,651 --> 00:04:17,050
So, he was paid up?
90
00:04:17,152 --> 00:04:19,219
Paid up? He paid in advance.
91
00:04:19,321 --> 00:04:21,221
Yeah. He was not great
with money.
92
00:04:21,323 --> 00:04:23,690
[chuckling] Right? I mean,
who tips their dope dealer?
93
00:04:23,792 --> 00:04:25,392
So, I guess we're done here?
94
00:04:25,494 --> 00:04:26,993
We're done when I say
we're done.
95
00:04:27,096 --> 00:04:28,328
I'm sorry.
96
00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:30,497
Let me rephrase that.
[growling]
97
00:04:30,599 --> 00:04:31,631
[sighs]
98
00:04:31,733 --> 00:04:33,400
[snarls]
Okay.
99
00:04:33,502 --> 00:04:35,936
So, one of two things
is gonna happen here.
100
00:04:36,038 --> 00:04:37,771
Oh!
[clatter]
101
00:04:37,873 --> 00:04:40,874
Hm. Wonder what
the other thing was.
102
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:45,745
[jazz trumpet]
103
00:04:45,848 --> 00:04:47,247
Goddamn.
104
00:04:47,349 --> 00:04:50,417
Is it your feeding time already?
[growls]
105
00:04:50,519 --> 00:04:51,852
I wish you wouldn't
antagonize him.
106
00:04:51,954 --> 00:04:53,587
Well, I wish you
could hold a tempo.
107
00:04:53,689 --> 00:04:55,088
[rimshot]
108
00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:57,424
Which, clearly, sarcastic.
109
00:04:57,526 --> 00:04:59,092
No, it wasn't.
110
00:04:59,194 --> 00:05:02,629
[snores] No, thank you,
Zerk, that will suffice.
111
00:05:02,731 --> 00:05:04,231
[Zerk growls]
Huh?
112
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,298
Wha-- What's-- What--
113
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,334
Ah, there he is.
114
00:05:07,436 --> 00:05:10,203
The infamous Sterling Archer,
private eye.
115
00:05:10,305 --> 00:05:12,072
And I trust you know who I am?
116
00:05:12,174 --> 00:05:15,075
I do. But what do I call you?
117
00:05:15,177 --> 00:05:17,043
Mother will do.
118
00:05:17,146 --> 00:05:20,547
And so, you do know who I am,
but you don't care?
119
00:05:20,649 --> 00:05:21,748
What? No, I--
120
00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:23,183
That's what you told
my bartender
121
00:05:23,285 --> 00:05:25,185
when you stuck a gun
in his ribs.
122
00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:26,453
I-- Well, first of all,
123
00:05:26,555 --> 00:05:28,021
your bartender sells heroin.
124
00:05:28,123 --> 00:05:30,390
Gasp.
And I pulled my gun
125
00:05:30,492 --> 00:05:33,026
because I'm trying to find out
who killed my partner.
126
00:05:33,128 --> 00:05:34,594
That would be Woodhouse.
127
00:05:34,696 --> 00:05:36,396
Yeah. He-- How'd
you know that?
128
00:05:36,498 --> 00:05:39,799
It's my business to know a
great many things, Mr. Archer.
129
00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:41,935
What would you say
if I offered you a drink?
130
00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:43,403
I'd probably say bourbon.
131
00:05:43,505 --> 00:05:44,738
Old Buncombe, if you've got it.
132
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,907
Oh, I have a bit of everything.
133
00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:48,675
So I hear.
Hmm.
134
00:05:48,777 --> 00:05:50,777
How do you take it?
Usually alone.
135
00:05:50,879 --> 00:05:53,346
Thank you for making
an exception.
136
00:05:53,448 --> 00:05:54,548
Please.
137
00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:02,678
And so, I do hope you'll
forgive Mr. Zerk
138
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:05,815
for his hands-on approach.
Maybe.
139
00:06:05,917 --> 00:06:07,149
But I sure won't forget it.
140
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,318
Yes. I believe that
was the point.
141
00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:11,654
I meant--
I know what you meant.
142
00:06:11,756 --> 00:06:13,155
Cigarette?
No, thanks.
143
00:06:13,257 --> 00:06:14,790
Never took it up.
Really?
144
00:06:14,892 --> 00:06:17,126
But I thought they loaded
all you G.I.s down
145
00:06:17,228 --> 00:06:19,829
with cartons of them
on your way up the gangplank.
146
00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:22,465
They did.
Supposed to help keep you alert.
147
00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:24,967
I guess I found it all
stimulating enough.
148
00:06:25,069 --> 00:06:27,503
Hm. Normandy?
Yeah.
149
00:06:27,605 --> 00:06:28,871
Omaha Beach.
150
00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:31,307
By way of North Africa
and Sicily.
151
00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:33,742
And after Normandy,
through France and Belgium,
152
00:06:33,845 --> 00:06:35,144
all the way to Berlin.
153
00:06:35,246 --> 00:06:36,679
Well, I had to get to Berlin.
154
00:06:36,781 --> 00:06:38,747
I'd sent
all my clean shirts ahead.
155
00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:41,050
Mm-hmm. Speak any German?
156
00:06:41,152 --> 00:06:43,252
You know. "Don't shoot,"
"I surrender,"
157
00:06:43,289 --> 00:06:45,955
"Hitler's the tops," stuff like that.
Mm-hmm.
158
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:49,058
Bronze Star with two Oak Leaves
and "V" device.
159
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,127
Legion of Merit.
Croix de Guerre with Palm.
160
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:54,563
Silver Star with two Oak Leaves.
161
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:57,633
Distinguished Service Cross with
one Oak Leaf and "V" device.
162
00:06:57,735 --> 00:07:01,237
Three Purple Hearts.
It goes on, Mr. Archer.
163
00:07:01,339 --> 00:07:03,739
Yeah, senior year,
I was voted class flirt.
164
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,409
And yet, you turned down a battlefield
commission to second lieutenant.
165
00:07:07,512 --> 00:07:09,178
Well, after class flirt,
I mean--
166
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,147
In fact, you left the army
at the same rank you went in.
167
00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:15,050
Buck private. And do you know
what that tells me?
168
00:07:15,152 --> 00:07:16,852
I need a new lock on my diary?
169
00:07:16,954 --> 00:07:18,888
That you don't like
taking orders.
170
00:07:18,990 --> 00:07:20,890
Yeah, or having my time wasted.
171
00:07:20,992 --> 00:07:22,091
So, if you'll excuse me--
172
00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:24,260
Oh, no. I will not.
173
00:07:24,362 --> 00:07:25,694
Excuse me?
No.
174
00:07:25,796 --> 00:07:26,962
I just said.
Sorry?
175
00:07:27,064 --> 00:07:28,631
Me too.
I-- Wait. No. I meant--
176
00:07:28,733 --> 00:07:30,099
I know what you meant.
177
00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:32,301
I-- Look, I'm just trying
to find the bastard
178
00:07:32,403 --> 00:07:35,638
who killed my partner.
With which, perhaps, I can help you.
179
00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:37,907
With which-- Hang on.
Wait, really?
180
00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:40,609
Perhaps. But before I
could help you,
181
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,311
I would need you to help me.
182
00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:44,914
I'll do anything to find
Woodhouse's killer.
183
00:07:45,016 --> 00:07:46,148
And then avenge his death.
184
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,917
Well then, Mr. Archer,
185
00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:50,152
what would you say if I
offered you a job?
186
00:07:50,254 --> 00:07:52,922
I'd probably say yes...
187
00:07:53,024 --> 00:07:54,390
...and also bourbon.
188
00:07:58,573 --> 00:07:59,980
[Mother]
Len Trexler.
189
00:08:00,264 --> 00:08:02,070
I assume you're familiar
with him?
190
00:08:02,172 --> 00:08:03,438
[Archer, chuckling]
Who isn't?
191
00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:05,273
He's the biggest mobster
in L.A.
192
00:08:05,375 --> 00:08:07,375
Well, maybe not for much longer.
193
00:08:07,477 --> 00:08:08,376
Why, is he sick?
194
00:08:08,478 --> 00:08:10,378
Wh-- No, you ass.
195
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,081
Although you could say
that his time has come.
196
00:08:13,183 --> 00:08:16,284
Wait. You want me to help you
make a move against Len Trexler?
197
00:08:16,386 --> 00:08:18,753
Whose hobby is dissolving
people in acid?
198
00:08:18,855 --> 00:08:22,590
Oh, now, Trexler doesn't do
the actual dissolving.
199
00:08:22,693 --> 00:08:24,726
That would be
his enforcer, Dutch Dylan.
200
00:08:24,828 --> 00:08:27,095
I don't care who
does the dissolving.
201
00:08:27,197 --> 00:08:29,497
But if you help me,
I can help you.
202
00:08:29,599 --> 00:08:32,233
Perhaps. You made that
very clear.
203
00:08:32,319 --> 00:08:36,137
Look, all I need you to do is go
down to Pier 9 in Long Beach tonight
204
00:08:36,239 --> 00:08:38,573
and simply observe
and report back.
205
00:08:38,675 --> 00:08:40,175
No.
Oh, come on.
206
00:08:40,277 --> 00:08:41,976
I thought you had guts.
207
00:08:42,079 --> 00:08:44,145
And I'd like to keep them
in their current location,
208
00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:47,916
i.e., inside me, not melting
in a 50-gallon drum of acid
209
00:08:48,018 --> 00:08:49,918
with my shoes and feet and face.
210
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:53,588
Never know how much
I love you
211
00:08:53,673 --> 00:08:57,625
Never know how much I care
212
00:08:57,728 --> 00:09:00,862
When you put your arms
around me
213
00:09:00,964 --> 00:09:03,798
I get a fever that's
so hard to bear
214
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:07,969
You give me fever
215
00:09:08,071 --> 00:09:09,838
When you kiss me
216
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:13,108
Fever when you
hold me tight
217
00:09:13,193 --> 00:09:17,479
Fever in the morning
218
00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:20,181
Fever all through
the night
219
00:09:20,283 --> 00:09:22,400
You give me fever
220
00:09:22,486 --> 00:09:24,152
I'm in.
Excellent.
221
00:09:24,254 --> 00:09:28,623
Then find killer,
uh, revenge do.
222
00:09:28,725 --> 00:09:30,392
Careful what you wish for.
223
00:09:30,494 --> 00:09:32,160
You just might get it.
224
00:09:32,262 --> 00:09:33,828
Till you sizzle
225
00:09:33,914 --> 00:09:36,898
What a lovely way
226
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,001
To burn
227
00:09:43,206 --> 00:09:45,039
That's some set you got on you.
228
00:09:45,142 --> 00:09:46,708
I mean, not your-- I--
229
00:09:46,810 --> 00:09:49,878
I meant--
I know what you meant.
230
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,380
Uh, yeah.
Uh, let me start over.
231
00:09:52,482 --> 00:09:54,315
My name's Archer.
232
00:09:54,418 --> 00:09:55,517
Lana Kane.
233
00:09:55,652 --> 00:09:58,186
And, I'm sorry, but have we met?
234
00:09:58,288 --> 00:10:00,255
If we had, you'd remember.
235
00:10:00,357 --> 00:10:01,923
[rimshot]
[Gillette] Stop it.
236
00:10:02,025 --> 00:10:05,226
And so, um, you're
the singer here.
237
00:10:05,328 --> 00:10:08,897
Wow. And you must be
an old gypsy woman.
238
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:11,032
Close. I'm
a private investigator.
239
00:10:11,134 --> 00:10:13,268
I'm doing some work
for your boss.
240
00:10:13,370 --> 00:10:16,070
And apparently doing it
with a fresh new take
241
00:10:16,173 --> 00:10:17,705
on the word "private."
242
00:10:19,743 --> 00:10:21,176
Can I buy you a drink?
243
00:10:21,278 --> 00:10:22,844
Hmm. Bottle of PBR.
244
00:10:22,946 --> 00:10:26,414
[chuckling] PBR. Wow. I-I would
have thought your tastes
245
00:10:26,516 --> 00:10:28,750
were a little more, um--
246
00:10:28,852 --> 00:10:30,418
Pierre Beauvais. Rouge.
247
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,320
Ah.
Problem?
248
00:10:32,422 --> 00:10:37,125
No. Not when you're pulling down
25 bucks a day plus expenses.
249
00:10:37,227 --> 00:10:39,461
And what sort of daily expenses
250
00:10:39,563 --> 00:10:41,663
does a semi-private
investigator incur?
251
00:10:41,765 --> 00:10:44,132
Bullets?
Daily.
252
00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:46,768
Or, I don't know,
maybe a surf-and-turf dinner
253
00:10:46,870 --> 00:10:48,570
at the Polo Lounge?
Un-hun.
254
00:10:48,672 --> 00:10:51,673
And then maybe a room upstairs,
at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
255
00:10:51,775 --> 00:10:54,242
Uh-huh.
And then, maybe--
256
00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:56,411
I'm gonna leave you here.
257
00:10:56,513 --> 00:10:59,347
Between hope and despair.
258
00:11:01,284 --> 00:11:02,951
What the hell does that mean?
259
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,986
Before you shoot a big,
salty load in your pants.
260
00:11:05,088 --> 00:11:07,088
Shut up. How much
for the champagne?
261
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:09,090
Twenty-six dollars.
262
00:11:09,192 --> 00:11:11,426
Wha-- I'm not paying 26 bucks
263
00:11:11,528 --> 00:11:14,929
for a bottle of frustration.
[growls]
264
00:11:15,031 --> 00:11:17,298
[groans]
You're lucky my ear hurts.
265
00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:20,235
There.
Plus tip.
266
00:11:20,337 --> 00:11:23,271
How about the tip of my cock?
[rimshot]
267
00:11:23,373 --> 00:11:25,240
[Gillette] Stop it!
So, in that scenario,
268
00:11:25,342 --> 00:11:28,343
would I take your penis
in my hand? My mouth?
269
00:11:28,445 --> 00:11:33,047
Asshole. Wait, no.
I mean-- Not-- Goddammit.
270
00:11:35,151 --> 00:11:37,285
[Archer]
Pierre Beauvais Rouge.
271
00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:38,786
Hardy har har.
272
00:11:38,889 --> 00:11:40,522
Hey, 1933 called.
273
00:11:40,624 --> 00:11:42,490
They want
their gold digger back.
274
00:11:42,592 --> 00:11:45,126
Meanwhile, I have to dip
into my rainy day fund,
275
00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:50,064
which is barely enough to buy
an extremely nice umbrella.
276
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:52,634
Wait. What the--
277
00:11:52,736 --> 00:11:54,235
Holy shit.
278
00:11:54,337 --> 00:11:56,538
Leave it to Woodhouse.
279
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,207
Now I can find his killer
and take revenge.
280
00:11:59,309 --> 00:12:03,011
Although I better get moving if I'm
going to make it to Long Beach in time.
281
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:06,314
Okay. So, first thing
tomorrow morning.
282
00:12:06,416 --> 00:12:09,083
Well, or probably
after breakfast.
283
00:12:09,185 --> 00:12:11,286
After which, I just remembered
I'm getting a haircut.
284
00:12:11,388 --> 00:12:13,154
But after that,
285
00:12:13,256 --> 00:12:15,557
vengeance will be mine.
286
00:12:15,659 --> 00:12:16,991
Oh, duh.
287
00:12:17,093 --> 00:12:20,128
Just like you always
said, Woodhouse,
288
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,931
"Lock the safe, Archer,
you dumb twat."
289
00:12:26,886 --> 00:12:28,720
I wanted to get mixed up
with mobsters
290
00:12:28,838 --> 00:12:31,472
like Mother and Len Trexler
about as much as I wanted
291
00:12:31,558 --> 00:12:33,007
a new hole in my head.
292
00:12:33,093 --> 00:12:35,176
But I meant it when I said
I'd do anything
293
00:12:35,262 --> 00:12:36,811
to find Woodhouse's killer.
294
00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,513
Although, truth be told,
295
00:12:38,648 --> 00:12:41,849
I'd also do anything
just to see Lana Kane again.
296
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:45,403
So here I am, headed straight
into the belly of the beast.
297
00:12:45,522 --> 00:12:48,072
Nothing between me and death
but my wits
298
00:12:48,191 --> 00:12:50,692
and the cold, blue steel
of my .45.
299
00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:53,778
[chuckles] I have no idea why
I'm telling you all this.
300
00:12:53,863 --> 00:12:55,947
Or why I picked you up.
301
00:12:56,032 --> 00:12:58,283
I don't even know where you're going.
[whines]
302
00:12:58,368 --> 00:13:00,418
Hopefully Long Beach.
[barks]
303
00:13:00,537 --> 00:13:02,537
Well, too bad.
304
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,922
[whispering] Because I don't
need a spirit animal,
305
00:13:19,024 --> 00:13:21,824
and if I did, he'd be an ocelot.
306
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,027
[whines]
307
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:28,264
Okay. Observe and report.
308
00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:31,367
So easy, even a cop
could-- Wait.
309
00:13:31,469 --> 00:13:35,004
What the--
310
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:38,908
Hm. Now, what's a nice,
unmarked LAPD girl like you
311
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:41,644
doing in a place like this?
[engine approaches]
312
00:13:49,154 --> 00:13:52,055
So, what's Trexler importing?
313
00:13:52,157 --> 00:13:55,425
Some new, improved
people-melting acid?
314
00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:58,895
Dammit, they're in defilade,
I can't see what they're doing.
315
00:13:58,997 --> 00:14:01,064
[sighs]
I gotta get higher.
316
00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:02,365
That ought to do.
317
00:14:09,407 --> 00:14:11,207
[sniffs]
318
00:14:17,916 --> 00:14:20,883
Now, that is a lovely
parting gift.
319
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,253
And who's our lucky
contestant, Bob?
320
00:14:23,355 --> 00:14:27,123
Come on, you bent prick,
look up.
321
00:14:27,225 --> 00:14:28,725
Dammit.
322
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,360
[Man]
Come on, move it.
323
00:14:30,462 --> 00:14:32,762
[Archer] Huh.
Let's go, let's go. Come on.
324
00:14:32,864 --> 00:14:34,797
Guess Trexler's not opening
a Chinese restaurant.
325
00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:36,966
I mean, in this economy?
326
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:40,637
A whorehouse, though, bet that's
pretty much recession-proof.
327
00:14:40,739 --> 00:14:42,405
Move, goddammit.
[cries out]
328
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,973
[Archer gasps]
329
00:14:44,075 --> 00:14:46,109
[panting]
330
00:14:46,211 --> 00:14:48,144
Okay, Archer, just stay calm.
331
00:14:48,246 --> 00:14:49,445
Yeah, good advice.
332
00:14:49,547 --> 00:14:52,015
Ow.
Oh. Still tender, huh?
333
00:14:52,117 --> 00:14:53,483
What the hell are you
doing here?
334
00:14:53,585 --> 00:14:54,917
Asking you the same thing.
335
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,686
None of your damn business.
336
00:14:56,788 --> 00:14:58,254
Everything is my business.
337
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,557
Oh. Including white slavery?
Yes, incl-- Wait. What?
338
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:03,793
Those girls are
tied up, asshole.
339
00:15:03,895 --> 00:15:05,228
No, they're not,
they're just--
340
00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:07,196
Ah, dog dicks.
341
00:15:07,299 --> 00:15:10,366
Yeah, so--
But wouldn't it be yellow slavery?
342
00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:12,769
[scoffs]
Wh-- I don't know, racist.
343
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:15,305
White slavery's just as racist.
What?
344
00:15:15,407 --> 00:15:18,875
No. You know, if you differentiate
between, like, cotton-picking slavery--
345
00:15:18,995 --> 00:15:21,477
Jesus Christ.
...and then white slavery, that's--
346
00:15:21,579 --> 00:15:23,446
Sexual slavery, then.
Okay.
347
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,114
Goddammit.
[engine starts]
348
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:26,783
My point is I think we're
both anti-slavery.
349
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,918
Yeah, you're a regular
Granville Sharp.
350
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:31,587
But since I'm guessing that was
your boss taking the payoff--
351
00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:33,756
But he didn't know
about this part.
352
00:15:33,858 --> 00:15:36,326
Or any part,
'cause he wasn't here.
353
00:15:36,428 --> 00:15:38,161
Wow. Well, I'm sold.
354
00:15:38,263 --> 00:15:40,663
Really?
No, dickhead.
355
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,799
And neither are they.
Whoa.
356
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,034
Look, I don't know what the
hell you think you're gonna do.
357
00:15:45,136 --> 00:15:47,102
Well then, that makes two of us.
What are you--
358
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,472
Oof.
359
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:50,640
Well?
360
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,388
Goddammit.
361
00:15:53,629 --> 00:15:55,513
Son of a bitch!
362
00:15:55,598 --> 00:15:56,831
[grunts]
363
00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:58,799
[sighs]
I mean...
364
00:15:59,869 --> 00:16:02,169
So, funny story.
365
00:16:02,271 --> 00:16:03,704
Jesus, it's the cop, Poovey.
366
00:16:03,806 --> 00:16:05,322
So, yeah. So--
367
00:16:05,441 --> 00:16:07,608
[screaming]
368
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:10,778
[grunting]
369
00:16:22,258 --> 00:16:24,208
[panting]
370
00:16:24,293 --> 00:16:25,759
[sniffs]
Okay.
371
00:16:25,845 --> 00:16:28,095
One of two things is gonna--
[gunshots]
372
00:16:28,181 --> 00:16:30,564
Wh-What--
373
00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:32,566
What?
...the shit?
374
00:16:32,668 --> 00:16:35,102
They knew me from work.
375
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:39,240
Ugh.
What? You think they heard that?
376
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:41,642
Because, just so I
understand you,
377
00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:44,445
your theory is
the truck backfired,
378
00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:47,348
whereas your theory
is fireworks.
379
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:48,349
They are Chinese.
380
00:16:48,451 --> 00:16:50,784
What in Christ Foo Yung
381
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:52,953
could they possibly
be celebrating?
382
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,489
Who knows? They got
their own calendar.
383
00:16:55,591 --> 00:16:57,124
[sighs]
Go back there,
384
00:16:57,226 --> 00:16:59,526
you team of oxen, and--
[door opens]
385
00:16:59,628 --> 00:17:01,328
Can I help you?
386
00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:03,597
Out of the truck.
[chuckles]
387
00:17:03,699 --> 00:17:05,299
Do you know whose truck this is?
388
00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:08,268
Do you know how much
I don't care?
389
00:17:08,371 --> 00:17:10,437
That's cute.
No, seriously.
390
00:17:10,539 --> 00:17:11,705
You're making a--
[grunts]
391
00:17:11,807 --> 00:17:14,308
...huge mistake. Huge!
392
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:16,710
Do you hear me?
Yes. We're right here.
393
00:17:16,812 --> 00:17:18,545
Well, you better just kill me.
394
00:17:18,647 --> 00:17:21,115
That's-- [clears throat, deeper]
That's what I said.
395
00:17:21,217 --> 00:17:24,551
Because when, not if,
I find out who you are,
396
00:17:24,653 --> 00:17:26,687
I'm going to liquefy you.
397
00:17:26,789 --> 00:17:30,457
Okay.
Same goes for those Chinese whores.
398
00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:32,459
So I'm serious.
You better kill me.
399
00:17:32,561 --> 00:17:35,262
So, you're saying when I drive
this truck out of here,
400
00:17:35,364 --> 00:17:37,831
you'd prefer I drove over
your head, not your ankles.
401
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:39,933
Wait, what?
No, no.
402
00:17:40,035 --> 00:17:41,869
No, I meant--
I know what you meant.
403
00:17:41,971 --> 00:17:46,540
[screaming]
404
00:17:46,642 --> 00:17:49,576
[crying]
405
00:17:52,782 --> 00:17:54,281
What?
406
00:17:54,383 --> 00:17:55,783
Nothing.
407
00:17:57,653 --> 00:18:00,120
I mean, I feel like I
already know the answer,
408
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:02,055
but are you crazy?
409
00:18:02,158 --> 00:18:03,857
How are they my responsibility?
410
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,325
Because your crooked boss
411
00:18:05,428 --> 00:18:07,161
took a payoff to let them
off that boat.
412
00:18:07,263 --> 00:18:08,795
What am I supposed
to do with them?
413
00:18:08,915 --> 00:18:12,065
Get them jobs. There are plenty of
Chinese restaurants, laundries--
414
00:18:12,168 --> 00:18:13,604
Now who's racist?
415
00:18:13,724 --> 00:18:15,690
No. Because those are places
416
00:18:15,793 --> 00:18:17,759
where other Chinese people
already work.
417
00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:19,728
They don't speak
English, dumbass.
418
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:21,822
I do little bit.
Then shut up.
419
00:18:21,942 --> 00:18:24,573
[gasps]
I'm so sorry.
420
00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:26,255
I can't even imagine
the day you've had.
421
00:18:26,357 --> 00:18:27,523
God, the week.
422
00:18:27,625 --> 00:18:29,057
The life. [chuckling]
Shut up.
423
00:18:29,159 --> 00:18:32,427
Seriously.
Sorry about the laundry thing.
424
00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:34,496
You're doing this, end of story.
I--
425
00:18:34,598 --> 00:18:37,900
A story in which
a Los Angeles police detective
426
00:18:38,002 --> 00:18:39,902
murdered three people.
427
00:18:40,022 --> 00:18:42,087
[sighs]
Dick.
428
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:45,941
Thank you very much!
Thank you!
429
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,259
[sighs]
Super.
430
00:18:47,378 --> 00:18:50,112
Now I get to go report
what I observed.
431
00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:51,813
Then drove a truck over.
432
00:18:53,117 --> 00:18:55,551
So, first, maybe a drink.
433
00:18:55,653 --> 00:18:57,252
Or 12.
434
00:18:58,389 --> 00:19:00,022
Goddammit!
435
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,159
Goddammit.
436
00:19:04,261 --> 00:19:05,827
Goddammit!
437
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:10,098
[phone rings]
438
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,000
Who the hell is this?
439
00:19:12,102 --> 00:19:13,535
[Mother]
Guess. [gulps]
440
00:19:13,637 --> 00:19:16,972
I-I was just coming
to see you.
441
00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:18,807
Oh, goody.
442
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:21,810
Because I am just on pins and needles--
Well--
443
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:25,881
...to hear how you turned a stakeout
into three dead, one crippled,
444
00:19:25,983 --> 00:19:28,016
and Len Trexler
ready to go to war.
445
00:19:28,118 --> 00:19:29,551
How do you already know that?
446
00:19:29,653 --> 00:19:32,187
And I swear to God,
I've got half a mind
447
00:19:32,289 --> 00:19:34,289
to just kill you myself.
I--
448
00:19:34,391 --> 00:19:38,293
But the other half says you're
slightly more use to me alive.
449
00:19:38,395 --> 00:19:39,628
If--
For now.
450
00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:42,164
I--
Because now you owe me.
451
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:44,933
My office, Archer.
First thing tomorrow morning.
452
00:19:45,035 --> 00:19:46,068
[dial tone]
453
00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:49,605
[sighs]
454
00:19:49,707 --> 00:19:50,906
Ahem.
455
00:19:52,242 --> 00:19:54,109
Mr. Archer?
456
00:19:54,211 --> 00:19:56,878
Depends. Who's asking?
457
00:19:56,981 --> 00:19:58,547
Charlotte Vandertunt,
458
00:19:58,649 --> 00:20:01,783
heiress to the vast Vandertunt
publishing fortune.
459
00:20:01,885 --> 00:20:04,386
And I would like to hire you...
460
00:20:04,488 --> 00:20:05,587
to murder me.
461
00:20:07,919 --> 00:20:08,931
Okay.
462
00:20:11,994 --> 00:20:21,583
- Synced and corrected by honeybunny -
- Re-synced by darthfrede - www.addic7ed.com
463
00:20:21,633 --> 00:20:26,183
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