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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,459
[PAM CRYING]
2
00:00:16,223 --> 00:00:18,974
Ahem. Um...
3
00:00:19,142 --> 00:00:20,810
Can I, um...
4
00:01:12,362 --> 00:01:13,654
[SIGHS]
5
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,241
What's wrong?
6
00:01:18,702 --> 00:01:22,705
Pam. Pam!
[STAMMERING] My sis...
7
00:01:22,873 --> 00:01:24,748
Hold this.
8
00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:27,835
Ow! Goddamn it, dude.
9
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:31,922
Well, I'm sorry
but I've got other shit to do today.
10
00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:34,300
Now, what the hell
is wrong with you?
11
00:01:34,468 --> 00:01:39,263
My sister Edie is getting married
to Don Ekblad Jr., of all people...
12
00:01:39,431 --> 00:01:42,057
...and she asked me to be a bridesmaid.
13
00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:45,853
Um...
I should be maid of honor, dick-nuts...
14
00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:48,606
...but no, guess who she asks instead.
15
00:01:48,773 --> 00:01:51,442
Um... No.
Midge Olerud.
16
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:56,113
Yes. Midge "Hey Edie, let's me
and you blow Pam's boyfriend Arn...
17
00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:59,116
...behind the goddamn
grain elevator" Olerud.
18
00:01:59,284 --> 00:02:03,829
You had a boyfriend named Arn?
Well, he didn't know I liked him but...
19
00:02:03,997 --> 00:02:07,041
Midge and Edie did. Pam.
20
00:02:07,209 --> 00:02:10,377
Okay, Jesus. Calm down, Ike Turner.
21
00:02:10,545 --> 00:02:12,463
I don't want to show up
with a black eye.
22
00:02:12,631 --> 00:02:16,091
Not a real diverse crowd, huh?
Eye, idiot, eye.
23
00:02:16,259 --> 00:02:19,929
Although, no. Not a lot
of black guys in rural Wisconsin.
24
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:23,641
And I don't want to sound racist but...
Power through it.
25
00:02:23,808 --> 00:02:27,520
A black guy would be better than no date,
which is what I'm taking now.
26
00:02:27,687 --> 00:02:31,815
When is it?
Saturday. Day after tomorrow.
27
00:02:32,943 --> 00:02:33,984
[BELCHES]
28
00:02:34,152 --> 00:02:38,405
Screw it, I'll go.
Really? Really, really, really?
29
00:02:38,573 --> 00:02:41,575
Yeah, why not?
Oh, man. Wait till they see...
30
00:02:41,743 --> 00:02:46,372
Wait, that's how you ask a woman out?
Yes.
31
00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:50,000
Wait, no, I don't need a back-story.
Yes you do. Shut up.
32
00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:53,837
You're Gordon Shumway and you own a
500-acre dairy farm in upstate New York...
33
00:02:54,005 --> 00:02:57,967
...with 600 Holsteins
and two Herringbone milking parlors.
34
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:01,845
Okay, A, that's Alf's name
and two, what's more impressive...
35
00:03:02,013 --> 00:03:06,308
...a pathetic cheese farmer or the
world's greatest secret agent, a.k.a...
36
00:03:06,476 --> 00:03:09,478
...me, Sterling Archer?
Oh, yeah.
37
00:03:09,646 --> 00:03:14,483
WOMAN [ON PA]: Attention, now boarding
flight 934, to Green Bay, Wisconsin.
38
00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:18,529
Come on, Archer, that's us.
Flight 934 to Green Bay, Wisconsin.
39
00:03:18,697 --> 00:03:21,907
Yeah, you're booked through to New York.
Will you be needing anything else?
40
00:03:22,075 --> 00:03:26,996
Huh? Oh, is there a place that sells
down jackets and thermal underwear?
41
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:30,541
Ha, ah. I'm, uh... What do you
call it? Uh...
42
00:03:31,251 --> 00:03:33,377
coldblooded.
43
00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:16,378
LANA:
Archer? Archer? Archer? Grr.
44
00:04:16,546 --> 00:04:19,423
Have you seen Archer?
Did you look in here?
45
00:04:19,591 --> 00:04:21,508
That is what I'm doing now.
46
00:04:21,676 --> 00:04:24,219
Then, I guess go look everywhere else.
You know...
47
00:04:24,387 --> 00:04:26,055
CHERYL:
Starting with Dick-cheese, Wisconsin.
48
00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:28,766
Excuse me?
49
00:04:28,933 --> 00:04:30,517
Him and...
He and...
50
00:04:30,685 --> 00:04:32,728
Whomever and...
Whoever and...
51
00:04:34,064 --> 00:04:37,983
If you wake this child,
I will climb inside you with my shoes on.
52
00:04:38,151 --> 00:04:41,362
He and Pam
are at her sister's wedding.
53
00:04:41,529 --> 00:04:44,156
In Wisconsin?
54
00:04:44,324 --> 00:04:45,366
[CRYING]
55
00:04:45,533 --> 00:04:48,243
Happy? No, no, no.
He's got her all weekend.
56
00:04:48,411 --> 00:04:50,162
I'm going upstate for SERE school.
57
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:53,248
So take her with you.
To survival school?
58
00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:55,250
Big whoop, hang her in a bear bag.
59
00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:58,629
Ugh. So, Malory...
60
00:04:58,797 --> 00:05:02,341
Nope. Ron and I are going to our house
in the Hamptons...
61
00:05:02,509 --> 00:05:05,803
...and, trust me, it would be
no place for a baby.
62
00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:11,183
You're back together? Like, for real?
And happier and stronger than ever.
63
00:05:12,977 --> 00:05:15,145
Try not to burn the place down.
64
00:05:15,313 --> 00:05:20,067
And you, my tweedy little...
What, are your boobs full of corn syrup?
65
00:05:20,235 --> 00:05:23,445
Excuse me?
Feel that, she feels chubby.
66
00:05:23,613 --> 00:05:27,825
She's a baby. A fat little baby.
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
67
00:05:27,992 --> 00:05:29,868
You're fat little baby.
68
00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:33,330
Fast forward to me buying
her liposuction for graduation.
69
00:05:33,498 --> 00:05:36,166
I hope you do burn this place down.
70
00:05:36,334 --> 00:05:38,752
She said not to.
71
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:39,962
[GASPS]
72
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:43,716
She said try not to.
73
00:05:43,883 --> 00:05:49,054
ARCHER: You're kidding. How either, in this
universe, or any of its infinite parallels...
74
00:05:49,222 --> 00:05:51,473
...could I possibly embarrass you?
75
00:05:51,641 --> 00:05:55,310
PAM: By dressing like a ma�tre d'
on a dinner cruise for gay Republicans?
76
00:05:55,478 --> 00:05:56,854
That's a thing?
I don't know.
77
00:05:57,021 --> 00:06:00,107
You don't want Edie dogging you out
in front of the entire school.
78
00:06:00,275 --> 00:06:02,985
The entire what?
Rehearsal dinner. Shut up.
79
00:06:03,153 --> 00:06:07,406
Come on, what happened? Did she dump
pig's blood all over you at the prom?
80
00:06:07,574 --> 00:06:10,325
No, not pig's blood.
Wait, what?
81
00:06:10,493 --> 00:06:15,372
Hang on, did she really?
Oh my God, Pam, you look amazing.
82
00:06:16,499 --> 00:06:18,125
Really?
83
00:06:18,293 --> 00:06:20,043
I mean, you know, relatively.
84
00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:24,298
Shit-ass. But you've got to pace me,
I'm sewn into this sumbitch.
85
00:06:24,466 --> 00:06:27,634
So for every ounce that goes in,
an ounce gotta go out.
86
00:06:27,802 --> 00:06:33,056
So diuretics?
And watch this, there's a sundae bar.
87
00:06:33,224 --> 00:06:34,975
What could possibly go wrong?
88
00:06:35,143 --> 00:06:36,477
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
89
00:06:36,644 --> 00:06:38,187
Who the shit is that?
90
00:06:39,063 --> 00:06:40,564
BARRY:
Is it Barry?
91
00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:46,111
Does that mean Barry possibly, literally froze
his nuts off in the wheel-well of a 747...
92
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:49,406
...so he could murder
the shit-eating Archer?
93
00:06:50,241 --> 00:06:53,535
Yes it does, other Barry. Oh, yes.
94
00:06:53,703 --> 00:06:56,538
ARCHER:
Okay. Jesus Christ.
95
00:06:56,706 --> 00:06:58,207
[LAUGHS]
96
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,169
Wow. You have got to be Edie.
97
00:07:02,337 --> 00:07:07,299
I'm Archer, uh, Pam's boyfriend.
Bullshit, my asshole.
98
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,886
Pam, hon? Edie's here.
99
00:07:11,054 --> 00:07:13,138
And you will be civil and polite.
100
00:07:13,306 --> 00:07:18,268
And you will not let her push your...
EDIE: Spamela! Get your fat ass out here.
101
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,145
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
102
00:07:20,313 --> 00:07:22,648
She should be right out, she's...
103
00:07:22,816 --> 00:07:24,525
[BOTH SHOUTING AND GRUNTING]
104
00:07:28,071 --> 00:07:34,201
Ha, ha. Yikes. Guess I should
get in there and break that up.
105
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:43,710
LANA:
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
106
00:07:43,878 --> 00:07:47,256
Yeah, come on. You coming?
No, but hey, I know it's late notice...
107
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:50,717
...and I really hate to ask
but would you mind keeping A.J. for the...
108
00:07:50,885 --> 00:07:54,096
What? I'm hitting door open.
You can't see it but I really am.
109
00:07:54,264 --> 00:07:57,099
Oh, my God,
it's just like maximum overdrive.
110
00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:58,600
Ray.
Lana.
111
00:07:58,768 --> 00:08:02,688
On Monday let's talk about
how scary this was for me.
112
00:08:03,565 --> 00:08:07,401
Goddamn it. Let me go.
No, now just calm...
113
00:08:07,569 --> 00:08:09,987
Let me go. Shit, she's gonna...
114
00:08:10,154 --> 00:08:12,614
Jesus Christ, woman.
Whoo!
115
00:08:12,782 --> 00:08:16,827
Goddamn it. Happy?
Less than I was, to be honest.
116
00:08:16,995 --> 00:08:21,248
When? When you were chugging balls behind
whatever gay strip joint she hired you at?
117
00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:22,457
Ha, ha. Whoa.
118
00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:26,128
Told you, it's that jacket.
First of all, Pam, shut up.
119
00:08:26,296 --> 00:08:28,839
I'm not the one
who chugs balls behind buildings...
120
00:08:29,007 --> 00:08:33,051
...and even if I were,
they wouldn't belong to that dude Arn.
121
00:08:33,219 --> 00:08:34,928
[LAUGHING]
122
00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:39,433
Oh, God. You told him about Arn?
Arn didn't even know she was alive.
123
00:08:39,601 --> 00:08:40,934
Okay, you know what?
124
00:08:41,102 --> 00:08:42,978
Besides what Arn's balls taste like?
125
00:08:43,146 --> 00:08:45,522
Ha-ha-ha.
I...
126
00:08:46,107 --> 00:08:48,108
Aah! I am out of here.
127
00:08:48,276 --> 00:08:49,735
Pam, wait.
128
00:08:49,903 --> 00:08:53,572
Wow. And here I thought she was
kidding about the pig's blood.
129
00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:55,282
No.
130
00:08:57,952 --> 00:09:01,079
It was calf's blood.
131
00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:05,459
[SOBBING]
132
00:09:05,627 --> 00:09:09,838
Stupid, fricking Edie.
I'll show her what Arn's balls taste like.
133
00:09:10,006 --> 00:09:12,466
Wait, what the? Barry?
134
00:09:12,634 --> 00:09:16,929
Hey. You.
135
00:09:18,348 --> 00:09:22,392
Hello? Krieger? You in here?
136
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,728
Hey, you. What can I do you for?
137
00:09:24,896 --> 00:09:28,190
So, hey, um,
Archer totally flaked on me.
138
00:09:28,358 --> 00:09:31,735
Malory and Ray are being lame
and Cheryl is Cheryl.
139
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:34,363
So I was wondering
if you could do me a favor.
140
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:38,158
Yep, yep, yep,
but first, who is this little person?
141
00:09:38,326 --> 00:09:45,165
Um, A.J., my baby, who I've had for, like,
six months, who you've met.
142
00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:48,377
Okay.
Ooh. And who also has a poopy diaper.
143
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:49,544
[GASPS]
144
00:09:49,712 --> 00:09:53,256
Great Bacchus plateau, it works.
What? What does?
145
00:09:53,424 --> 00:09:55,717
The K-9000 infrasonic pulse rifle.
146
00:09:55,885 --> 00:10:00,472
What do you mean? What does it do? I assume
you're familiar with the brown note?
147
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,100
I am not, no.
What?
148
00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:07,729
The brown note, the frequency that makes
humans shit their pants or their onesie.
149
00:10:07,897 --> 00:10:10,232
Ugh. I'm pretty sure
that was a coincidence.
150
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,776
That's what they said about
Tesla's death ray.
151
00:10:12,944 --> 00:10:15,153
So this favor...
152
00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:18,407
Lana? Wait, Lana. What's the favor?
153
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,659
Just promise to use
your powers for good.
154
00:10:21,202 --> 00:10:23,078
[LAUGHING]
155
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,039
No.
ARCHER: Yes.
156
00:10:26,207 --> 00:10:28,417
No. Clean the jizz out
of your ears, jizz-ears.
157
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:31,670
I'm getting married tomorrow,
so tonight at my rehearsal dinner...
158
00:10:31,838 --> 00:10:34,589
...I get all you can eat prime rib
and bottomless vin rouge.
159
00:10:34,757 --> 00:10:37,426
Give me that. Put it down.
We are going to go find Pam...
160
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:40,387
...and then you are gonna apologize
for hurting her feelings.
161
00:10:40,555 --> 00:10:44,558
Why do you care? You're just a...
Wait. Are you really her boyfriend?
162
00:10:45,184 --> 00:10:46,727
Mm-hm.
163
00:10:47,228 --> 00:10:49,771
Oh, and a secret agent so...
164
00:10:49,939 --> 00:10:51,064
[PHONE RINGING]
165
00:10:51,232 --> 00:10:56,486
And not only am I a secret agent,
I am the world's greatest secret agent.
166
00:10:56,654 --> 00:10:58,947
- Hello?
- BARRY [OVER PHONE]: Ha, ha. Jesus, Archer.
167
00:10:59,115 --> 00:11:01,616
You're not even the greatest secret agent
in that room.
168
00:11:01,784 --> 00:11:04,327
Actually, Barry, that's where you're...
Wait. Barry?
169
00:11:04,495 --> 00:11:05,996
Hey, dummy.
How did you get...?
170
00:11:06,164 --> 00:11:08,457
Where are you?
How did you even know I was here?
171
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:11,293
Uh, I followed you.
What do you mean, you followed me?
172
00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:14,171
Okay, that's obviously
your abusive ex-boyfriend...
173
00:11:14,338 --> 00:11:16,214
...so I'm just gonna tip on out.
174
00:11:16,382 --> 00:11:20,802
I was on my way to New York to kill you,
when I saw you in Chicago, idiot...
175
00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:23,180
...and now you are gonna follow me.
176
00:11:23,347 --> 00:11:27,601
That is, if you ever wanna see your
buddy... Uh, wait, what was your name?
177
00:11:27,769 --> 00:11:31,104
Your worst fricking nightmare.
ARCHER: Pam?
178
00:11:31,272 --> 00:11:32,731
Oh, right, yeah, it's Pam.
179
00:11:32,899 --> 00:11:35,150
Anyway, if you don't wanna
spend the next year...
180
00:11:35,318 --> 00:11:38,153
...signing for packages full of
her head and feet and shit...
181
00:11:38,321 --> 00:11:42,115
...meet me out by the old grain elevator.
Pam says Edie knows where it is.
182
00:11:42,283 --> 00:11:44,868
Now, you listen to me,
Barry, you... Barry.
183
00:11:45,036 --> 00:11:49,372
Goddamn, son-of-a-cyborg bitch.
What, he give you anal warts?
184
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:54,044
He kidnapped your sister, you jerk.
What? Who'd wanna kidnap Pam?
185
00:11:54,212 --> 00:11:55,879
I'll tell you in the car. Come on.
186
00:11:56,047 --> 00:11:59,674
Look, I know you're bitter because you
people can't get married or whatever...
187
00:11:59,842 --> 00:12:02,803
...but all-you-care-to-eat prime rib.
188
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:06,807
Ugh. Well, Edie, I was almost half-way
hoping it wouldn't come to this.
189
00:12:06,974 --> 00:12:08,642
Come to what...
190
00:12:09,352 --> 00:12:14,981
CYRIL: Hello? Lana?
No.
191
00:12:15,149 --> 00:12:18,610
What are you still doing here?
I thought you had Rambo sleepaway camp.
192
00:12:18,778 --> 00:12:22,864
SERE school. And I did but Archer
hosed me, and I don't have a sitter.
193
00:12:23,032 --> 00:12:26,535
Oh, well you should have asked...
I asked everybody, even Krieger.
194
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:32,457
I... Wow. So you'd ask Krieger to watch
your baby before you'd ask me?
195
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:35,460
I didn't... Well, that would be weird.
196
00:12:35,628 --> 00:12:38,713
Weirder than the guy trying to make
some kind of ejaculation ray?
197
00:12:38,881 --> 00:12:43,885
No, it's a pants-shitting ray.
Okay, well, then, that's new but...
198
00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:45,554
Cyril, look...
How about this?
199
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,848
I'll drive you both upstate
and get us a motel room.
200
00:12:48,015 --> 00:12:51,226
Ha, ha. What?
For A.J. and me.
201
00:12:51,394 --> 00:12:54,062
While you run around the woods
eating snails and beetles.
202
00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:57,941
That way if you get anxious about being
away from her, we're right there.
203
00:12:58,109 --> 00:13:01,069
This is weird. Why is this weird?
204
00:13:01,237 --> 00:13:05,073
Because what kind of sick bastard
travels with duct tape and rope?
205
00:13:05,241 --> 00:13:08,285
No, we actually made a couple of stops
while you were knocked out.
206
00:13:08,452 --> 00:13:12,080
Had to get more Tom for the Collins...
Oh, and also rob a gun store.
207
00:13:12,248 --> 00:13:14,666
Wait, what?
Well, technically, burgle.
208
00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:17,502
How long was I out?
Mm, twenty minutes?
209
00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:20,338
Damn it.
Yeah, that is not good for you.
210
00:13:20,506 --> 00:13:23,508
No, turn around dick-nuts,
I can still make the rehearsal dinner.
211
00:13:23,676 --> 00:13:28,763
After we rescue Pam. Now, shut up.
Oh, and un-shut up for a second.
212
00:13:28,931 --> 00:13:32,434
Is this the way to the grain elevator?
Uh, oh, yeah, right down that road.
213
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:35,187
Take a left. Take a left.
214
00:13:35,354 --> 00:13:37,898
Even for me, that was pretty lucky.
215
00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:43,236
Woo-hoo! Rental car!
216
00:13:44,238 --> 00:13:47,657
BARRY:
There we go. Looking good, Barry.
217
00:13:47,825 --> 00:13:49,284
Well, thanks, other Barry.
218
00:13:49,452 --> 00:13:53,914
Archer comes in to save her and,
boosh, kill zone.
219
00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:59,461
So you're just bug-nuts crazy?
Ha, ha. Crazy like a fox.
220
00:13:59,629 --> 00:14:02,172
Who's bionic.
221
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:06,468
And whose fianc� dumped him,
for literally the dumbest guy in Russia.
222
00:14:06,636 --> 00:14:08,511
Who want waffle?
223
00:14:10,264 --> 00:14:13,141
I forget to make waffle.
224
00:14:13,309 --> 00:14:17,145
Oh. And just so you know, my worst
nightmare, which is actually recurring...
225
00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:19,981
...is me and Santa Claus
getting chased through the snow...
226
00:14:20,149 --> 00:14:22,317
...by Lurch from The Addam's Family.
227
00:14:22,485 --> 00:14:25,237
Uh, why did you tell me that?
228
00:14:25,613 --> 00:14:29,407
Ha, ha. Exactly.
229
00:14:33,663 --> 00:14:38,583
ARCHER: Piece-of-shit rental.
EDIE: Pfft. You drive like a egg.
230
00:14:38,751 --> 00:14:43,880
I... No, I don't and also, shut up
because right now I'm going to explain...
231
00:14:44,048 --> 00:14:48,760
...what cyborgs are and why
they're a threat to our entire way of life.
232
00:14:48,928 --> 00:14:55,016
I mean, not now, obviously.
But someday. Someday soon...
233
00:14:55,184 --> 00:14:56,810
[SNORING]
234
00:14:57,812 --> 00:15:00,689
[SINGSONG]
I am gonna re-hit that.
235
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,191
Huh? Hmm?
236
00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:07,153
Hey, you.
Hello.
237
00:15:07,321 --> 00:15:09,823
Wait. Who's laws of what's-its?
238
00:15:09,991 --> 00:15:13,076
Asimov's three laws of...
Look, never mind.
239
00:15:13,244 --> 00:15:16,121
They don't even apply to Barry
because he's a fricking cyborg.
240
00:15:16,289 --> 00:15:22,460
BARRY:
Archer, come out and play.
241
00:15:22,628 --> 00:15:26,631
Ugh. And also a gaping, prolapsed anus.
242
00:15:26,799 --> 00:15:31,094
So grain elevator. Besides a place
to blow farmers, what's the point?
243
00:15:31,262 --> 00:15:32,971
To store grain, dumbass.
244
00:15:33,139 --> 00:15:35,974
Yeah, but you elevator it
way the hell up there, then...
245
00:15:36,142 --> 00:15:38,977
Wait, cows don't go up there to eat it,
do they?
246
00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:44,399
Oh, my God, no. It's gravity fed back down
to trucks and trains and shit.
247
00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:47,068
Which are on the ground.
Yes.
248
00:15:47,236 --> 00:15:48,611
See where I'm going with this?
249
00:15:48,779 --> 00:15:52,699
Why not make it horizontal, so the cows
can just walk up and eat whenever?
250
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:56,536
So just a mile long trough of grain
getting rained on all the damn time.
251
00:15:56,704 --> 00:16:03,209
I... Well, no, it'd have, like,
a salad-bar roof on it, you idiot.
252
00:16:03,377 --> 00:16:06,588
BARRY:
Said the dumb waiter. Get it, Archer?
253
00:16:06,756 --> 00:16:09,632
As in, you're dumb
and you dress like a waiter.
254
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,217
PAM:
Told you.
255
00:16:11,385 --> 00:16:14,304
Goddamn it, Pam, this is exactly
what a man should wear to a...
256
00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:18,641
EDIE: Holy shit-snacks.
ARCHER: What the... Pam?
257
00:16:18,809 --> 00:16:20,643
Yeah, and just a heads-up...
258
00:16:20,811 --> 00:16:22,187
[SHOUTING]
259
00:16:22,355 --> 00:16:23,813
Whoa!
Ha, ha.
260
00:16:24,231 --> 00:16:26,274
Damn it, Pam. How about a...
261
00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:29,361
Oh, wait by heads-up, did you mean...
262
00:16:29,528 --> 00:16:30,820
[ARCHER GRUNTING]
263
00:16:30,988 --> 00:16:32,822
[GROANING]
264
00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:41,539
Seriously, Barry, why all the anger?
Because Katya broke up with me.
265
00:16:41,707 --> 00:16:42,957
[LAUGHING]
266
00:16:45,294 --> 00:16:46,920
[SHOUTING THEN COUGHING]
267
00:16:47,505 --> 00:16:50,006
Too soon?
268
00:16:50,174 --> 00:16:51,591
[GROANING]
269
00:16:51,759 --> 00:16:53,635
Edie, cut me down.
270
00:16:53,803 --> 00:16:56,054
Oh, wow, where to start?
271
00:16:56,222 --> 00:17:00,642
Even in a new dress, you look like
ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag.
272
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:04,270
The whole town thinks you're a giant
asshole for moving to New York City.
273
00:17:04,438 --> 00:17:05,939
You can just say New York.
274
00:17:07,316 --> 00:17:10,860
Oh, and Dad was right,
you'll never find a husband...
275
00:17:11,028 --> 00:17:14,155
...unless you convince a blind man
you're a seeing-eye pig.
276
00:17:14,323 --> 00:17:15,907
[SOBBING]
277
00:17:16,575 --> 00:17:21,413
I meant cut me down from here.
Yeah. Duh.
278
00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:26,668
Heh. But you know you're no prize, right?
Excuse me?
279
00:17:26,836 --> 00:17:28,002
He said...
280
00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:29,838
[EDIE AND BARRY
GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]
281
00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,172
[CHUCKLES]
282
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,847
Archer. Do something.
283
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:41,599
Flower box. Shotgun.
284
00:17:44,812 --> 00:17:45,854
PAM:
Ow.
285
00:17:48,816 --> 00:17:50,316
[CHOKING]
286
00:17:51,694 --> 00:17:56,948
Hey, tracksuit, if anybody's gonna choke
my sister's bitch neck...
287
00:17:57,116 --> 00:17:58,616
...it's gonna be me.
288
00:17:58,784 --> 00:18:03,037
Ha, ha. What are you doing?
What, you got a little shotgun? Huh?
289
00:18:03,205 --> 00:18:06,875
Yeah, remember right now?
When I'm a fricking cyborg?
290
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:12,130
Barry, just for you, I got explosive ammo.
291
00:18:12,298 --> 00:18:16,134
You what now?
Jesus Christ, you could have killed me.
292
00:18:16,302 --> 00:18:17,927
Shut up.
293
00:18:18,095 --> 00:18:23,475
Huh. I mean, I'm not a doctor
or a roboticist...
294
00:18:23,642 --> 00:18:27,479
...but, uh, that can't be good.
So hey, why don't we all do this...
295
00:18:27,646 --> 00:18:30,565
Oh, God.
296
00:18:30,733 --> 00:18:32,650
[DISTORTED]
Forgot what I was gonna say.
297
00:18:36,572 --> 00:18:38,198
[BARRY SHOUTING]
298
00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:54,797
So, "Thank you"?
For?
299
00:18:54,965 --> 00:18:58,635
Saving your life?
Oh. I thought you were thanking me...
300
00:18:58,802 --> 00:19:04,516
...for dropping those truth bombs.
What? You'll never find a husband.
301
00:19:04,683 --> 00:19:10,438
PAM: So you really think he's dead?
Only one way to be sure.
302
00:19:19,073 --> 00:19:21,658
Hello? I'm sorry, what?
303
00:19:21,825 --> 00:19:24,953
Shut up, no. No. Uh-uh.
What are you saying, Don?
304
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,287
[AMBULANCE SIRENS WAILING]
305
00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:29,874
Sir, sir, over there. Is that a man?
306
00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:34,254
Yeah, you're damn right it is.
307
00:19:37,007 --> 00:19:40,009
Hey, but slow down, though, we're, hey...
308
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:45,306
Jesus Christ, Arn.
ARN: Huh.
309
00:19:45,474 --> 00:19:47,600
I think I got a blowjob out here once.
310
00:19:47,768 --> 00:19:51,980
A what? I'm sorry, did you say "a blowjob"?
311
00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:55,275
What? Yes. Of course it's off, Don.
312
00:19:55,442 --> 00:19:57,694
[SHOUTING]
313
00:19:58,654 --> 00:19:59,696
[SIGHS]
314
00:19:59,863 --> 00:20:03,491
So apparently,
Don over-served on vin rouge...
315
00:20:03,659 --> 00:20:07,662
...and increasingly impatient for his
bride-to-be's arrival at the rehearsal dinner...
316
00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:10,957
...let Midge Olerud suck him off
behind the sundae bar.
317
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:13,293
[LAUGHING]
318
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:18,298
Too soon? So thank you, Pamela,
for ruining my wedding.
319
00:20:18,465 --> 00:20:23,886
Oh, and also, my life.
You ruined my life. Are you happy?
320
00:20:24,597 --> 00:20:25,847
Hmm.
321
00:20:26,015 --> 00:20:30,393
Yes. Ha, ha. All I wanted.
322
00:20:30,561 --> 00:20:32,020
[PAM SIGHS]
323
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:02,967
[LAUGHING]
324
00:21:06,221 --> 00:21:08,556
Vfft. Ha, ha.
325
00:21:08,606 --> 00:21:13,156
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