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1
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SLATER: Wait, what happened? I thought
you were gonna renovate this place.
2
00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:11,250
As did I, but I was betrayed
by a lying little country music wannabe.
3
00:00:11,376 --> 00:00:14,294
CHERYL: Was that directed at me?
Yes! Who else?
4
00:00:14,462 --> 00:00:16,797
CHERYL:
I don't know who all lies to you!
5
00:00:16,965 --> 00:00:19,550
CHERYL [OVER INTERCOM]:
Also, there's a Mr. Slater to see you.
6
00:00:19,718 --> 00:00:22,970
Just Slater. It's a mononym, like...
Jesus Christ.
7
00:00:23,138 --> 00:00:26,890
Nope.
He's in here, you ritzy ditz.
8
00:00:27,058 --> 00:00:29,059
CHERYL:
What are you doing, Dave?
9
00:00:29,227 --> 00:00:33,564
So, uh, should I come back?
No. No, no, no. Of course not.
10
00:00:33,732 --> 00:00:37,401
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
I mean, whatever the task, we are up to it.
11
00:00:37,569 --> 00:00:41,488
We are professional and...
CHERYL: There's a Mr. Slater to see you.
12
00:00:41,656 --> 00:00:42,656
[SIGHS]
13
00:00:42,824 --> 00:00:44,908
I'm gonna go.
Good. Why are you here in the first place?
14
00:00:45,076 --> 00:00:46,785
Mr. Slater...
Just Slater.
15
00:00:46,953 --> 00:00:49,663
And hang on. Excuse me, are you and I
gonna have a problem?
16
00:00:49,831 --> 00:00:52,291
I mean, I'm sure we will
at some point, but...
17
00:00:52,459 --> 00:00:55,169
Sterling. Mr...
Just Slater.
18
00:00:55,336 --> 00:00:56,378
Has...
Had.
19
00:00:56,546 --> 00:00:58,172
An important assignment for us...
20
00:00:58,339 --> 00:01:02,342
...which I'm sure we can kick right through
the basket for a homerun.
21
00:01:02,510 --> 00:01:06,263
I'm gonna go.
Look, you're already here.
22
00:01:06,431 --> 00:01:09,475
Why not just tell us what the mission is?
23
00:01:09,642 --> 00:01:13,145
I will, but only because I choose to.
24
00:01:13,313 --> 00:01:16,023
One of our, well, I guess
you could call him a freelancer...
25
00:01:16,191 --> 00:01:19,234
What do you call him?
I call him a freelancer. Shut up, please.
26
00:01:19,402 --> 00:01:22,488
Anyway, he needs an extraction
from Buenos Aires.
27
00:01:22,655 --> 00:01:25,949
Ugh, it's just us.
You can say "Buenos Aires."
28
00:01:26,117 --> 00:01:30,162
And... Hush. And what operation
is the CIA conducting in Argentina?
29
00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:32,831
Oh, sorry. It's called Operation Nunya.
30
00:01:32,999 --> 00:01:35,042
I...
As in beeswax, Lana.
31
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:38,378
Yes, I...
ARCHER: Dr. Kane, report to the burn unit.
32
00:01:38,546 --> 00:01:42,716
To help a patient who's been burned?
ARCHER: No.
33
00:01:42,884 --> 00:01:46,887
Anyway, his cover's been blown.
Argentine Intelligence is onto him...
34
00:01:47,055 --> 00:01:49,306
...and he needs an extraction
A.S.A.G.D.M.F.P.
35
00:01:49,474 --> 00:01:52,476
So why us?
Why not keep it in-house at CIA?
36
00:01:52,644 --> 00:01:56,855
Because, turns out,
you actually know this operator.
37
00:01:57,023 --> 00:01:59,900
Uh, do you mind?
Hmm? Oh!
38
00:02:00,068 --> 00:02:03,070
LANA & ARCHER:
Conway Stern?
39
00:02:03,238 --> 00:02:08,784
Yes, Conway Stern. Questions?
40
00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:50,284
ARCHER:
Yeah, can I start?
41
00:02:50,451 --> 00:02:53,745
You guys mind if I start? I'll start.
Are you out of your shitting mind?
42
00:02:53,913 --> 00:02:54,955
Sterling!
Excuse me?
43
00:02:55,123 --> 00:02:59,126
He literally stabbed me in the back.
Because you jeopardized his mission.
44
00:02:59,294 --> 00:03:03,380
What mission? To sell classified
military technology to the Chinese?
45
00:03:03,548 --> 00:03:06,466
Phony technology
we wanted China to have.
46
00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:09,219
They've been chasing their tails
on the whisper drive for years.
47
00:03:09,387 --> 00:03:10,888
Oh...
"Oh"?
48
00:03:11,055 --> 00:03:14,975
I knew it. In my heart of hearts,
I knew he was one of the good guys.
49
00:03:15,143 --> 00:03:17,978
Literally. The back. Stabbed it.
50
00:03:18,146 --> 00:03:23,775
Then you people ripped off his hands so...
After he literally stabbed me. In the back.
51
00:03:23,943 --> 00:03:27,362
Oh, give it a rest, Sterling.
I'm sure you did something to deserve it.
52
00:03:27,530 --> 00:03:31,116
But now you have a chance to right
that wrong, which is a rare thing.
53
00:03:31,284 --> 00:03:34,494
About as rare as getting called up
to the majors from single-A ball...
54
00:03:34,662 --> 00:03:35,662
Hey.
Lana.
55
00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:38,498
I assume that was a sports analogy
meant to be cutting...
56
00:03:38,666 --> 00:03:41,293
...but we will take the mission,
won't we, Sterling?
57
00:03:41,461 --> 00:03:45,881
Huh? Yeah. Oh, sorry.
It's just I'm worried my entire life...
58
00:03:46,049 --> 00:03:47,758
...I've been misusing the word "literally."
59
00:03:47,926 --> 00:03:48,967
[INTERCOM BEEPS]
60
00:03:49,135 --> 00:03:52,262
CHERYL:
And certainly overusing.
61
00:03:54,015 --> 00:03:56,099
ARCHER: You're not worried?
LANA: Why should I worry?
62
00:03:56,267 --> 00:03:58,810
Because I'm the one
that ripped off Conway's hand?
63
00:03:58,978 --> 00:04:01,355
No. About...
Or that he'll double-cross us again?
64
00:04:01,522 --> 00:04:03,440
Which a blowjob says he does.
65
00:04:03,608 --> 00:04:06,735
And Mother and Slater and the CIA
are idiots for trusting him.
66
00:04:06,903 --> 00:04:09,988
I'm talking about us flying on
the same plane. What if it crashed?
67
00:04:10,156 --> 00:04:13,158
Then I wouldn't have had
to watch you pound 20 drinks...
68
00:04:13,326 --> 00:04:15,786
...and then try to talk
the stewardess into a handjob.
69
00:04:15,954 --> 00:04:19,247
Where are you getting 20 drinks?
Uh, from 10 doubles?
70
00:04:19,415 --> 00:04:23,460
"A," those were mini-bottles
and two, I'm talking about A.J., Lana.
71
00:04:23,628 --> 00:04:27,547
Who's going to take care of her
if something happens to both of us?
72
00:04:28,549 --> 00:04:30,884
Well, me. Obviously.
73
00:04:31,052 --> 00:04:32,552
You think... Heh. Okay, wow.
74
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:37,516
You think, in the event of their deaths,
that you would be A.J.'s legal guardian?
75
00:04:37,684 --> 00:04:40,894
Who else would they possibly choose?
You've met yourself, right?
76
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:43,021
If it's anybody around here, it's me.
77
00:04:43,189 --> 00:04:45,357
Of course.
The one who smokes next to the baby.
78
00:04:45,525 --> 00:04:47,067
Dukes!
79
00:04:47,235 --> 00:04:49,236
[INHALING DEEPLY]
80
00:04:50,029 --> 00:04:51,863
Ray!
81
00:04:54,575 --> 00:04:56,284
You know...
82
00:04:56,911 --> 00:04:58,161
[COUGHS]
83
00:04:58,329 --> 00:05:00,998
All right, Virginia Slim. You're...
84
00:05:01,165 --> 00:05:04,001
Nap time. I have a meeting. Goodbye.
85
00:05:05,795 --> 00:05:09,965
Look, don't worry about A.J., okay?
Well, I think one of us should.
86
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:12,551
No, I...
And I vote for Mother and Woodhouse.
87
00:05:12,719 --> 00:05:16,805
To raise my child?
Our child, Lana. And yes. And...
88
00:05:16,973 --> 00:05:19,141
Can we talk about this later?
89
00:05:19,934 --> 00:05:22,978
We're definitely gonna talk about it later,
I can promise you that.
90
00:05:23,146 --> 00:05:25,647
And can you promise
that even though Conway...
91
00:05:25,815 --> 00:05:27,983
Literally.
...stabbed you in the back...
92
00:05:28,151 --> 00:05:31,403
...that you won't do anything revenge-y
and stupid when he opens the door?
93
00:05:31,946 --> 00:05:35,824
Hmm, I want to say...
94
00:05:35,992 --> 00:05:39,703
No! Revenge rampage!
95
00:05:40,496 --> 00:05:41,788
[GROANS]
96
00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:43,540
[YELLS]
97
00:05:46,377 --> 00:05:47,711
[GRUNTING]
98
00:05:55,386 --> 00:05:56,428
[YELLS]
99
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,221
[SCREAMS]
100
00:06:01,184 --> 00:06:02,476
[GROANS]
101
00:06:02,643 --> 00:06:03,894
[HUMMING]
102
00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:13,779
[CHOKING]
103
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[BOTH YELLING]
104
00:06:29,962 --> 00:06:31,880
[PANTING]
105
00:06:32,048 --> 00:06:33,215
[BOTH YELLING]
106
00:06:37,095 --> 00:06:40,305
How do you still have two hands?
107
00:06:41,057 --> 00:06:43,975
You cyborg son of a b...
108
00:06:45,061 --> 00:06:47,104
You're out of sugar.
109
00:06:48,147 --> 00:06:49,648
[HOARSELY]
Oh, good. You're making tea.
110
00:06:49,816 --> 00:06:52,025
Because I could use some
with honey and lemon.
111
00:06:52,193 --> 00:06:53,193
[COUGHS]
112
00:06:53,361 --> 00:06:54,361
And bourbon.
113
00:06:54,529 --> 00:06:58,448
But actually, without the honey and lemon.
And the tea.
114
00:06:58,616 --> 00:07:00,909
So just bourbon.
Yeah, but I doubt if...
115
00:07:01,077 --> 00:07:02,077
[MOANS]
116
00:07:02,245 --> 00:07:04,746
Shut up. Don't ruin it.
I had something for...
117
00:07:04,914 --> 00:07:08,041
Puke Skywalker?
Goddamn it.
118
00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:10,544
Anyway, I doubt the robot
has any bourbon...
119
00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:14,965
...and I'm not really in the mood
for a WD-40 and Coke.
120
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:17,551
Unless that is, literally,
the only thing to drink.
121
00:07:20,346 --> 00:07:21,680
[CONWAY GROANS]
122
00:07:21,848 --> 00:07:23,348
CONWAY:
I think I might be concussed.
123
00:07:23,516 --> 00:07:25,809
Hell hath no fury, huh?
Meaning?
124
00:07:25,977 --> 00:07:30,063
As a woman scorned. Lana, remember?
I kind of scorned you last time we met?
125
00:07:30,231 --> 00:07:34,442
Ha, ha. Yeah, you are definitely concussed.
Not to mention a Decepticon.
126
00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:37,445
Where the hell did you get a bionic hand?
Uh...
127
00:07:38,364 --> 00:07:42,367
So, what's new? How you been?
128
00:07:42,535 --> 00:07:45,704
Sharper Image?
Uh-huh. Sounds more like Krieger.
129
00:07:45,872 --> 00:07:49,291
Jesus Christ. Will he not rest
until we've all been enslaved by Skynet?
130
00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:51,459
Hey, we are leaving in five, so...
131
00:07:51,627 --> 00:07:56,756
Right after I enjoy this yerba mate
and ca�a smoothie, with a WD-40 float.
132
00:07:57,383 --> 00:07:58,592
[COUGHS]
133
00:07:58,759 --> 00:08:01,303
Although enjoy is maybe a bit strong.
134
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:04,890
Ugh. Conway, grab whatever you need,
presumably some fresh nine-volts...
135
00:08:05,057 --> 00:08:08,643
...and let's get this extraction going.
I can't. I don't have the intel yet.
136
00:08:08,811 --> 00:08:13,273
What intel? Slater said "extraction."
When he asked us to come rescue you.
137
00:08:13,441 --> 00:08:17,194
From what? Your mom's antique vagina?
You son of a...
138
00:08:17,361 --> 00:08:19,112
Hey! Enough, you two!
139
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,489
ARCHER & CONWAY: Tell him that.
Pretty sure I just did.
140
00:08:21,657 --> 00:08:23,825
Now, what and where is this intel?
141
00:08:23,993 --> 00:08:27,954
It's a computer file with the real identity
of every single CIA agent...
142
00:08:28,122 --> 00:08:31,791
...operating in Central and South America.
Argentina's using it for leverage...
143
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:35,754
...threatening to trade it to the Soviets.
Wait. Isn't Argentina our ally?
144
00:08:35,922 --> 00:08:38,924
You'd think, right?
After we threw them that lovely coup?
145
00:08:39,091 --> 00:08:42,594
The file is on the mainframe of the
Argentine Secret Intelligence Service.
146
00:08:42,762 --> 00:08:45,472
Okay. Here's what we do...
How about maybe let him finish?
147
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,266
Hmm. Okay.
But then we go with my plan.
148
00:08:48,434 --> 00:08:51,061
The mainframe is a standalone
in a secure vault.
149
00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:53,772
Hardened, keycard, and retinal scan entry.
150
00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:58,109
On the top floor of the Intelligence building,
which is heavily guarded at all times...
151
00:08:58,277 --> 00:09:01,321
...by Argentine special ops
on standing orders to shoot to kill...
152
00:09:01,489 --> 00:09:04,115
...any and all unauthorized personnel.
153
00:09:04,867 --> 00:09:06,618
You mentioned something about a plan?
154
00:09:06,786 --> 00:09:11,748
I mean, he obviously thinks he has a plan,
so whatever. Let's hear it.
155
00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:14,042
[TOILET FLUSHING]
156
00:09:14,210 --> 00:09:16,044
[SCATTING]
157
00:09:16,212 --> 00:09:17,379
[YELLS]
158
00:09:17,546 --> 00:09:20,173
Where is it?
Where's what? What are you...?
159
00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:24,511
I flushed it.
Ahh! I will kill you.
160
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,555
Where you stand.
PAM: Hey.
161
00:09:27,723 --> 00:09:30,850
Is it too much to ask,
during the goddamn work day...
162
00:09:31,018 --> 00:09:35,814
...for two separate sessions of 80 uninterrupted
minutes each of quality dump time?
163
00:09:35,982 --> 00:09:40,568
I mean, I'm not a labor attorney.
Yes, it is entirely too much to ask.
164
00:09:40,736 --> 00:09:44,322
I thought so, yeah. So I'll pass that on
to who or whomever asked.
165
00:09:44,490 --> 00:09:48,326
And if you harmed one single hair
on her little brown head, I will...
166
00:09:48,494 --> 00:09:49,995
CHERYL: Whose head?
PAM: Wait, do what?
167
00:09:50,162 --> 00:09:52,539
Baby A.J. She's missing.
168
00:09:52,707 --> 00:09:54,207
PAM: Oh, my God.
CHERYL: Oh, thank God.
169
00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:57,043
And since you are the only one around here
who hates babies...
170
00:09:57,211 --> 00:09:59,296
Just baby people.
171
00:09:59,463 --> 00:10:01,589
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. I'm sure...
172
00:10:01,757 --> 00:10:04,301
Wait. Did you murder the baby?
Uh-uh.
173
00:10:04,468 --> 00:10:08,555
No, but, like, swearsie-realsies?
Swearsie-realsies.
174
00:10:08,723 --> 00:10:11,224
And that's pretty sacred to us, so...
175
00:10:11,392 --> 00:10:13,059
[CHERYL GASPS THEN COUGHS]
176
00:10:13,227 --> 00:10:14,769
We'll go help you look for baby A.J.
177
00:10:14,937 --> 00:10:15,937
[FARTS]
178
00:10:16,105 --> 00:10:18,815
In, like, five-teen, 40 minutes.
179
00:10:18,983 --> 00:10:23,903
And so Conway's plan doesn't strike you
as unnecessarily complicated?
180
00:10:24,071 --> 00:10:25,405
ARCHER:
No, Lana, it doesn't.
181
00:10:25,573 --> 00:10:29,826
And it doesn't strike you as "Brazilian
minstrel show meets Trading Places?"
182
00:10:29,994 --> 00:10:31,411
ARCHER:
No, Lana, it doesn't.
183
00:10:31,579 --> 00:10:35,415
And that's not just because you get to wear
that ri-dork-ulous facerug?
184
00:10:35,583 --> 00:10:38,251
No, Lana, it...
Look. If I have to pull this car over...
185
00:10:38,419 --> 00:10:41,796
...we're all gonna be murdered, so...
Just get us in the damn garage, man.
186
00:10:41,964 --> 00:10:43,173
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
187
00:10:43,341 --> 00:10:45,592
You're not the boss of me.
Archer, just...
188
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,262
Or you. I don't care if you are the
president and first lady of Brazil...
189
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:52,766
...on a pan-American goodwill tour
of intelligence headquarters.
190
00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:56,811
Coronel Lando Calrissiano,
de Las Fuerzas Especiales...
191
00:10:56,979 --> 00:10:59,689
...doesn't work for you.
192
00:10:59,857 --> 00:11:02,442
Although he has nailed his backstory.
Lando Cal...
193
00:11:02,610 --> 00:11:03,943
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
194
00:11:04,111 --> 00:11:08,490
Will you shut up? I need to think.
Don't yell at me, I didn't lose her.
195
00:11:08,657 --> 00:11:10,158
Now, just try to retrace your steps.
196
00:11:10,326 --> 00:11:12,160
[FABRIC TEARING]
197
00:11:12,328 --> 00:11:16,915
Well, I wasn't in the sofa cushions.
Ahh! Well, you could have said that.
198
00:11:17,083 --> 00:11:20,877
I did.
I thought you were being sarcastic!
199
00:11:21,045 --> 00:11:23,838
It is kind of hard to tell with you.
200
00:11:24,006 --> 00:11:28,551
ARCHER: Okay, here we go. Conway, shut up,
and try to look semi-presidential.
201
00:11:28,719 --> 00:11:32,097
And, Lana, try to look, actually, yeah.
Matronly. You nailed it.
202
00:11:32,264 --> 00:11:33,306
[CONWAY LAUGHS]
203
00:11:33,474 --> 00:11:35,725
You know...
GUARD: So anyways...
204
00:11:35,893 --> 00:11:38,978
Coronel, heh.
Um, okay.
205
00:11:39,647 --> 00:11:41,022
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
206
00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:42,232
Um, bueno.
207
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:46,069
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
208
00:11:52,118 --> 00:11:54,494
"Lando"? "Calrissiano..."
209
00:11:54,662 --> 00:11:57,080
Okay, so here's the thing with that.
210
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:02,669
Boring conversation anyway.
Goddamn it, Archer!
211
00:12:02,837 --> 00:12:05,630
That's Coronel Calrissiano to you.
212
00:12:05,798 --> 00:12:10,093
CONWAY: Archer.
LANA: Don't drive angry.
213
00:12:10,761 --> 00:12:14,931
What the hell are you doing?
I'm Archer-izing this plan.
214
00:12:15,099 --> 00:12:16,683
What? No, no. Uh-uh.
215
00:12:16,851 --> 00:12:19,769
You cannot make yourself a verb.
I will not allow it.
216
00:12:19,937 --> 00:12:25,442
I'm a verb now, Lana. Deal with it.
And then, also, cover me, please.
217
00:12:25,609 --> 00:12:27,861
Idiotas!
218
00:12:28,028 --> 00:12:29,279
Um...
219
00:12:29,447 --> 00:12:32,449
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
220
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:41,916
[IN ENGLISH]
...on the ground!
221
00:12:42,084 --> 00:12:43,710
Uh, perd�n?
222
00:12:43,878 --> 00:12:46,588
On the ground, Pyle! What are you...?
223
00:12:46,755 --> 00:12:48,173
Oh. Uh...
224
00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:52,635
See how I switched to English?
I was testing him. Good work, Pyle.
225
00:12:52,803 --> 00:12:54,345
[GROANS]
226
00:12:54,513 --> 00:12:56,181
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
227
00:12:56,348 --> 00:12:58,933
How about a big hand for Pyle, gang?
228
00:13:00,352 --> 00:13:02,896
Lana!
Archer!
229
00:13:03,063 --> 00:13:06,191
Lana! Lana!
What are you, jealous I'm a verb?
230
00:13:06,358 --> 00:13:07,859
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
231
00:13:08,027 --> 00:13:13,740
Jesus Christ, Pyle! I heard you.
Archer!
232
00:13:13,908 --> 00:13:15,742
[ARCHER GRUNTING]
233
00:13:17,495 --> 00:13:18,495
[CRASHING]
234
00:13:18,662 --> 00:13:20,747
What are you doing?
Shooting out the glass.
235
00:13:20,915 --> 00:13:24,292
No, no, no! Don't! It's bulletproof.
236
00:13:27,713 --> 00:13:29,464
Archer!
237
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:35,345
So, uh, how come you and I didn't hook up
last time we worked together?
238
00:13:35,513 --> 00:13:39,724
Well, "A," you were too busy banging
Cheryl or Carol or Cristal...
239
00:13:39,892 --> 00:13:43,144
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The crazy Jew-Santa chick.
240
00:13:43,312 --> 00:13:46,898
And "B" through "Z,"
because you're a large-diameter dickhole.
241
00:13:47,066 --> 00:13:50,443
Mm-hm. Well, you're looking good, girl.
Lot curvier than I remember.
242
00:13:50,611 --> 00:13:55,740
I had a baby.
Oh. Sorry. Never mind.
243
00:13:55,908 --> 00:13:59,577
Never mind what?
Like, name it.
244
00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:00,995
You know...
245
00:14:01,872 --> 00:14:03,873
[ARCHER PANTING]
246
00:14:05,501 --> 00:14:09,420
So you done Archer-izing?
247
00:14:15,928 --> 00:14:21,808
Because, you jackass, to recap,
you locked us in the stupid limo!
248
00:14:21,976 --> 00:14:25,812
Well, I still don't see why that means
I'm the one who has to carry Pyle.
249
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:31,234
Well, then slice out his retinas, okay?
I can't. It would kill Lou-Ann.
250
00:14:32,069 --> 00:14:35,154
Oh, and speaking of...
Goddamn it.
251
00:14:36,323 --> 00:14:38,157
[GRUNTING]
252
00:14:38,325 --> 00:14:40,493
Speaking of what?
253
00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:43,538
If something happens to both of us,
who's gonna take care of the baby?
254
00:14:43,706 --> 00:14:44,998
[CONWAY CHUCKLES]
255
00:14:45,165 --> 00:14:46,165
Her baby's yours?
256
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:50,587
Can we please put a pin in this?
No, Lana, we can't!
257
00:14:50,754 --> 00:14:53,256
I want to know
why you don't want it to be Mother.
258
00:14:55,092 --> 00:14:59,804
Because how did you lose a baby?
She was right there in the pram.
259
00:14:59,972 --> 00:15:02,473
I made a drink, my furrier called.
260
00:15:02,641 --> 00:15:07,395
Spoiler alert, he's robbing me blind. I called
immigration, tried to get his father deported.
261
00:15:07,563 --> 00:15:10,440
I made another drink,
but I was out of ice, so I...
262
00:15:10,608 --> 00:15:12,066
CHERYL: What?
GILLETTE: What is it?
263
00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:16,029
Krieger! He was skulking around out there
while I went out to get ice.
264
00:15:16,196 --> 00:15:18,906
Come on, to that Nazi freak's lab.
265
00:15:19,074 --> 00:15:24,996
Hey. Are guns really necessary?
Because I'm seriously asking.
266
00:15:25,164 --> 00:15:27,915
LANA: Seriously?
ARCHER: Yes, Lana, seriously.
267
00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:30,418
Why isn't my mother good enough
to raise A.J.?
268
00:15:30,586 --> 00:15:33,004
No! Don't shoot! There's a baby!
269
00:15:33,172 --> 00:15:37,675
And why? Why do you have the baby?
Oh, my God.
270
00:15:37,843 --> 00:15:39,761
Okay. So here's the thing with that.
271
00:15:39,928 --> 00:15:41,721
CYRIL: That is a nightmare.
CHERYL: Seriously?
272
00:15:41,889 --> 00:15:45,350
GILLETTE: Goddamn, dude.
You were going to make her a robot?
273
00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:47,727
I wish. I mean, no. No.
274
00:15:47,895 --> 00:15:53,274
I was doing market research for the TB-800
A.K.A. Cyberneddly Teddly.
275
00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:55,943
Oh, please. That's a baby skeleton.
276
00:15:56,111 --> 00:16:00,406
No, but once I figure out how to grow
actual bear tissue to cover it...
277
00:16:00,574 --> 00:16:01,658
Goddamn, dude.
Dude.
278
00:16:01,825 --> 00:16:02,950
Damn. How creepy.
Damn.
279
00:16:03,118 --> 00:16:06,329
No, wait. Teddly's here somewhere.
Or was. I swear.
280
00:16:06,497 --> 00:16:07,538
[A.J. CRYING]
281
00:16:07,706 --> 00:16:10,541
Teddly? Teddly?
Cyril, secure the child.
282
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:16,297
And the rest of you, I can't see any benefit
in telling Lana what happened here today.
283
00:16:16,465 --> 00:16:17,507
Understood?
ALL: Yeah.
284
00:16:17,675 --> 00:16:19,884
I'm not saying nothing.
I'm on board for that.
285
00:16:20,052 --> 00:16:24,430
And, Krieger, I swear to God,
if I catch you near this child again...
286
00:16:24,598 --> 00:16:28,017
But...
...I will shoot you in the genitals...
287
00:16:28,185 --> 00:16:32,689
...and then sit here sipping Amontillado
sherry while you bleed to death.
288
00:16:33,774 --> 00:16:34,774
Meedeep?
289
00:16:37,361 --> 00:16:38,653
[GROANS]
290
00:16:44,618 --> 00:16:45,952
Tada!
291
00:16:47,121 --> 00:16:48,454
[SIGHS]
292
00:16:48,622 --> 00:16:50,498
[GIGGLES]
293
00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:54,252
Yeah, thanks, Mr. Bear-jangles.
294
00:16:55,254 --> 00:16:56,671
[HUMMING]
295
00:16:56,839 --> 00:16:58,840
[SCATTING]
296
00:16:59,007 --> 00:17:03,261
Wait, you already knew the code?
ARCHER: Of course he did. He's a cyborg.
297
00:17:03,429 --> 00:17:04,846
It was probably Gaius Baltar's...
298
00:17:05,013 --> 00:17:07,348
[SILENCED GUNFIRE
THEN SCREAMS]
299
00:17:07,516 --> 00:17:11,185
Archer? You double-crossing son of a bitch.
300
00:17:11,353 --> 00:17:14,647
Called it. Well, yeah. Come on.
We all saw this coming.
301
00:17:14,815 --> 00:17:17,108
Now, drop them.
302
00:17:17,276 --> 00:17:20,278
I was gonna say zip code, guys.
303
00:17:20,446 --> 00:17:22,697
Okay, idiots, thanks for helping me
get the disk.
304
00:17:22,865 --> 00:17:25,450
The Soviets are going to pay
out the zadnitsa for this.
305
00:17:25,617 --> 00:17:28,619
But you could have gotten the disk
yourself. Why drag us into it?
306
00:17:28,787 --> 00:17:32,915
Well, I knew Dick van Head over there
could pass for a Latino to get us in.
307
00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:34,959
ARCHER: Nailed it.
But mostly for revenge.
308
00:17:35,127 --> 00:17:38,713
Remember how you ripped off my hand,
woman?
309
00:17:38,881 --> 00:17:42,467
Yeah, vaguely, but if it's revenge
you want, why don't you shoot me?
310
00:17:42,634 --> 00:17:47,013
I was going to, but come on.
I'm not a monster. You just had a kid.
311
00:17:47,181 --> 00:17:49,724
ARCHER: Me too, though.
And what are you doing in the window?
312
00:17:49,892 --> 00:17:53,728
Base. Jumping. Ha-ha-ha.
This is a parachute.
313
00:17:53,896 --> 00:17:57,398
Well, Conway, you win this round.
314
00:17:57,566 --> 00:17:59,859
Who are you? Wait. Hang on.
315
00:18:00,027 --> 00:18:02,069
Horatio Kane.
Goddamn it.
316
00:18:02,237 --> 00:18:05,615
But "Kane" obviously spelled...
I got it.
317
00:18:05,783 --> 00:18:08,701
And hey, give me a call
if things don't work out with the kid.
318
00:18:08,869 --> 00:18:10,369
And you lose the baby weight.
319
00:18:10,537 --> 00:18:13,039
[GASPS THEN YELLS]
320
00:18:13,207 --> 00:18:16,375
Are you kidding me?
321
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:18,336
[CONWAY SCREAMS]
322
00:18:18,504 --> 00:18:23,758
Yeah. Lose that weight, Conway Stern.
Or whatever your real name is.
323
00:18:23,926 --> 00:18:29,388
CONWAY:
I lied. That is my real name.
324
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:35,102
Ma, they got old Lando this time.
I'm done for.
325
00:18:35,270 --> 00:18:39,607
Archer, shut up. You're gonna be okay.
You really think so?
326
00:18:39,775 --> 00:18:44,445
I mean, maybe.
Although that can't bode well.
327
00:18:44,613 --> 00:18:47,073
You get the disk?
Slater?
328
00:18:47,241 --> 00:18:49,408
Did you get the disk?
Yes, idiot.
329
00:18:49,576 --> 00:18:50,576
[COUGHS]
330
00:18:50,744 --> 00:18:53,913
And also several bullets so...
Then come on, get in the back.
331
00:18:54,081 --> 00:18:55,873
I got a plane waiting at an airstrip.
332
00:19:00,879 --> 00:19:03,256
So hey, about this blowjob...
Shut up.
333
00:19:03,423 --> 00:19:06,801
Conway was a traitor.
He was gonna sell the disk to the Soviets.
334
00:19:06,969 --> 00:19:10,721
Yeah, yeah. We kind of suspected that.
"Kind of?" So you sent us into a...
335
00:19:10,889 --> 00:19:13,349
Wait. So you followed us down here?
336
00:19:13,517 --> 00:19:17,478
Come on. We're not gonna put a couple of
untested rookies in the starting lineup...
337
00:19:17,646 --> 00:19:21,107
...of game seven of the world...
Seriously, okay, as I was saying...
338
00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:23,568
Goddamn it, Archer.
I am not giving you a blowjob.
339
00:19:23,735 --> 00:19:27,196
Not that. A.J.
If something happens to us.
340
00:19:27,364 --> 00:19:30,241
I really don't think that this is the time
to talk about that.
341
00:19:30,409 --> 00:19:33,828
When then?
Why don't you want to talk about it, Lana?
342
00:19:33,996 --> 00:19:35,037
[SIGHS]
343
00:19:35,205 --> 00:19:38,207
Because I'm afraid it'll
hurt your feelings.
344
00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:42,795
Because, if anything happens to me
and just me, Archer...
345
00:19:42,963 --> 00:19:45,006
...then A.J. would live with my parents.
346
00:19:45,173 --> 00:19:46,465
Oh.
347
00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:49,302
Yeah, uh... I... I guess that makes sense.
348
00:19:49,469 --> 00:19:51,512
[COUGHING]
349
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,265
They're probably pretty old, though, right?
350
00:19:54,433 --> 00:19:58,769
And if anything happened to them,
then A.J. would live with my sister.
351
00:20:00,606 --> 00:20:05,610
You have a sister?
Ugh. Yes, Archer, I have a sister.
352
00:20:07,112 --> 00:20:09,322
She younger?
353
00:20:10,449 --> 00:20:11,908
[SCREAMS]
354
00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:16,508
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