Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,921
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
2
00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,840
[SNORES, THEN GRUNTS]
3
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,301
[GROANING]
4
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,097
[COUGHING]
5
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:15,932
Ow.
6
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,017
[SPEAKING IN THAl]
7
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:22,689
MALORY: Well, since I can only assume
this is one of your idiot voicemails...
8
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:23,898
...I...
Mother?
9
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:27,610
Well, I'm not falling for it again.
Oh, for... Mother, it's me, Sterling.
10
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,946
Then what is the square root of nine?
11
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:32,949
Uh... Negative nine?
12
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:34,492
Sterling?
Ha!
13
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,661
Elaborate...
Goddamn it.
14
00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:39,789
I'm kidding, it's three, and also me.
Ass.
15
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,332
How'd the hell you find me?
16
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,334
I didn't, the CIA did.
Oh.
17
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,128
And how are your new overlords?
18
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,004
Oh, for the... They're not...
19
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:50,717
Look, think of it as more of a merger.
Ha!
20
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,928
Organizations change.
They evolve. They grow.
21
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,347
Unlike some people I know.
Hey, you know what?
22
00:00:56,515 --> 00:01:00,852
To wit, once again, you're off
on one of your usual self-pitying benders.
23
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,395
It's not a usual one, Mother.
24
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:06,315
In case you forgot, I was forced
into becoming a parent against my will.
25
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:10,194
Hmph. Join the club. But for God's
sake, six weeks is long enough.
26
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,404
[BLEATS]
27
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,281
Really? It's been six weeks?
28
00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:15,908
Yes, so sober up
and get a bunch of penicillin shots...
29
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,120
Is that him? Let me talk to him.
Is that Lana? Let me talk to her.
30
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:22,999
Why'd you run away when you were excited
about being a father when A.J. was born?
31
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,208
Did reality set in?
32
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,544
I... Wait, was that rhetorical?
33
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,964
Next time you decide to use somebody's
sperm to impregnate yourself...
34
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:33,176
...then maybe that decision
should include that other somebody.
35
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,052
[BLEATS, THEN CRASHING NOISE]
36
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,972
Somebody who runs away
at the thought of responsibility...
37
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:42,310
...and as we speak is up to his eyeballs
in cobra whisky and ladyboy hookers?
38
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:45,021
Oh, that... That is...
39
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,231
You don't know me.
Ha!
40
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,609
[SHOWER RUNNING
AND HIGH-PITCHED GIGGLING]
41
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,319
Ahem. Uh...
42
00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:55,031
I believe there was some mention
of the Central Intelligence Agency?
43
00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:57,325
They've given us
our first freelance mission...
44
00:01:57,493 --> 00:02:01,204
...and if you screw it up,
there won't be a second one, so listen up.
45
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,371
[GIGGLING CONTINUES]
46
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,208
I'm listening.
Two days ago, an American spy plane...
47
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:09,462
...went down in the jungles of Borneo
about 500 miles from you.
48
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,423
The pilot ejected,
but without the onboard computer.
49
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,551
You're to secure it, then
destroy the aircraft.
50
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:19,722
You should be receiving a mission dossier,
well, now.
51
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,643
Wow. Read it on the way
to the airport and hurry.
52
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,813
All the equipment you'll need
is on an Air America cargo plane...
53
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,564
...that is waiting for you as we speak.
54
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,359
Uh, Mother, it sounded like
you said "cargo plane"...
55
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:34,904
...when, obviously, you meant
"first-class luxury commercial airliner."
56
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:40,076
Sterling, a commercial airline
won't let you parachute into the jungle...
57
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,995
...in the middle of a communist insurgency.
A what?!
58
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,248
At night. Now, don't screw this up.
59
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,457
[GLASS SHATTERS]
60
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,211
"Screw it up." Yeah,
like she's one to talk.
61
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,546
Look how I turned out.
62
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,297
LADYBOY: Hey. Freaky Big-time.
Ah!
63
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,299
You owe us a hundred thousand baht.
64
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,468
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. No problem.
65
00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:01,806
Oh, and I've got an extra 20,000
if you're genetic females.
66
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,437
Super.
67
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:53,858
God, okay, final offer, 10,000 baht,
some of which has blood on it.
68
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:58,154
For the millionth and last time,
we do not have mini-bottles.
69
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,156
Well, then this isn't a real airline.
70
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,490
No, it's not.
71
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,576
It's a CIA front.
72
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,952
Still, though.
73
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:09,290
Why don't you go read the damn dossier?
Read about the communist insurgency.
74
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,833
I don't do dossiers.
75
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,002
Besides, I'm not a CIA schoolgirl.
76
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,254
This is a cakewalk for a real spy.
77
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,298
I punch the coordinates in the GPS...
78
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:20,843
...get the computer,
blow up the plane with C-4 and, uh...
79
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,304
So then do you guys pick me up, or...?
80
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,264
Read the dossier.
No.
81
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,391
Oh! Suit yourself.
82
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:28,809
Go, go, go!
Wha...?
83
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,978
[YELLING]
84
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,981
Assho...! Woohoo!
85
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,275
Halo!
86
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,279
But mini-bottles? That's not a ba...
87
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,114
I'm sorry, Hank.
88
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,283
I forgot you were working the program.
89
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,993
Inappropes.
90
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,454
PAM:
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
91
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,957
Are you guys so fricking excited?
92
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,292
I would be, if you quit jumping around.
93
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,753
Seriously, honey, come on. Baby on board.
94
00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:59,799
And if you two dopes didn't screw up
this $10 million renovation...
95
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:03,219
Which, again, curious as to why
you put Pam and Cheryl in charge.
96
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:08,265
Because I had a very specific vision
and it wasn't Japanese whorehouse.
97
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,475
[CYRIL CHUCKLES]
98
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,728
Well, Miss Archer, I think you'll find
we were very true to your vision.
99
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,146
[ELEVATOR DINGS
AND ALL GASP]
100
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,565
RAY: I've dreamed of this day.
CHERYL: I know.
101
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,776
MALORY:
It's... I mean...
102
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,654
I don't know what to say.
Can I even wear shoes in here?
103
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,156
Oh, heh, this is nothing.
104
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,243
Wait till you see...
CYRIL: Oh, my God.
105
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:30,705
MALORY:
I... I think I could use a drink.
106
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,748
[MALORY SHRIEKS
AND BABY COOS]
107
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,208
Oh, shut up.
Hey.
108
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,168
MALORY:
Wha...?
109
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,170
BOTH [IN UNISON]:
Psych.
110
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,380
What...?
I don't...
111
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,007
RAY:
No, bring it back.
112
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,926
CHERYL:
It's exactly like it was.
113
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:47,013
We redid everything
exactly like it was before.
114
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,181
Jesus, God, I'm having a stroke.
115
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,268
No, the other one was just a hologram.
116
00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,436
What the...?
117
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,021
What just happened?
What?
118
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,856
Oh, man.
119
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,774
The look on your dumb face.
120
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,527
No, it's a stroke. I... I smell toast.
121
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,571
Oh, that's probably just Milton.
122
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,322
CHERYL:
Okay, it's the one new thing.
123
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,575
It makes...
124
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,160
Let me finish!
125
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,328
Toast. Ah.
126
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,497
You ruined it.
127
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,334
[MOSQUITO BUZZING]
128
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,128
Ugh. Son of a...
129
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:24,425
God, is one last non-malarial hurrah
before I go home too much to ask? Ow.
130
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,803
Thanks, jungle. Eat a buffet of dicks.
131
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:31,599
Okay, the plane should be just about
a half click down this trail and...
132
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,476
[MAN SCREAMING
AND ARCHER YELLS]
133
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,730
[BOTH GRUNTING]
134
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,192
[SCREAMING]
135
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,867
ARCHER:
Stop!
136
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:53,871
Stop. Jesus, Kato, will you stop?
I mean, is this a mugging or...?
137
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,957
You are American.
Hey, English. Good.
138
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,709
Uh, yes, I'm American.
139
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,211
Then we are at war.
140
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:03,005
We... We as in who, exactly?
141
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:05,716
America and the Empire of Japan.
142
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:09,553
The... Wait a minute, do you mean,
like, cool Honda Scrambler Japan...
143
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:13,057
...or super uncool Pearl Harbor Japan?
144
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:15,476
What?
How long have you been on this island?
145
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:19,063
Since the 10th of May, 1942.
146
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:22,483
Oh, boy. Uh, well, uh, Kato...
147
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:26,195
Sato! First Lieutenant Sato Kentaro.
148
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:30,116
Well, Ken, I've got some bad news.
149
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:34,078
Oh. And also some worse news.
150
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:40,835
Liar.
Why would I lie about the war being over?
151
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,504
Since 1945, I might add.
152
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,965
To trick me into surrendering.
Um...
153
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:51,178
I do not surrender, nor consent to
be your prisoner, so just kill me.
154
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,390
What? No. Ken, will you relax?
155
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:58,269
Or is your entire generation
physically incapable of doing that?
156
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,771
How can I relax while we are at war?
157
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,439
We're not. Here.
158
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,068
Shut up, look. Here's you guys signing
the surrender on the USS Missouri.
159
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,195
Here's all the V-J Day parades in America.
160
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,781
Here's The Bad News Bears Go to Japan.
161
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,575
That's Lupus and Tanner.
162
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,578
Oh, and here's a link to an episode
of The Six Million Dollar Man...
163
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,038
...about this exact thing
we're doing right now.
164
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,665
The Six Million who?
165
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,168
Oh, God, you've got so much to catch up on.
166
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,629
Okay, so there's this guy, Steve Austin,
and he was an astronaut, but...
167
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,840
Damn, wait. Okay. So an astronaut...
168
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,801
What is this thing? This device?
169
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:35,598
It's a telephone, kind of, that talks
to outer space and also, uh... Shit.
170
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,559
What? Heh-heh.
I'm supposed to go find a computer.
171
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:43,189
Here? There are no building in the jungle
big enough to hold a computer.
172
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,775
No, they're really small now.
I think you guys actually did that.
173
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,196
Anyway, I need to go get one out of a plane
that crashed near here.
174
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,948
Yes, I know where this airplane is.
175
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,158
Duh. Me too.
176
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,119
So if I just kind of leave,
are you gonna be cool...
177
00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,664
...or try to sneak up on me
and slit my throat?
178
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:01,916
[SIGHS]
179
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,753
Well, I hope you're happy
because I feel like a total dick.
180
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,588
And also kind of racist.
181
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,008
And I resent you making me feel like that,
so...
182
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,801
[ARCHER SCOFFS]
183
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,887
I'm not a racist.
184
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:19,016
[SOBBING]
I just wanted it to be all white.
185
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:23,229
Jeezy-petes, this drawer squeaks
exactly like the old one did.
186
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,480
LANA:
And is this...?
187
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,898
Is this Brett's blood?
188
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,442
Ugh, no, just the same type.
189
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:32,321
We had to fudge it a little on the stains,
some of which actually were fudge.
190
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,490
And some of which merely resembled it.
191
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,158
[SOBBING]
192
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:39,286
But why would you do this?
193
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,913
[CHERYL LAUGHING]
194
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:44,667
Okay, it should be right up here,
and if you try any funny stuff...
195
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,669
...I...
Please, be more quiet.
196
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,213
Many enemy soldiers patrol the jungle.
197
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:52,841
Guerrillas, I think, Chinese and Malays.
198
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:56,595
Oh, that must be the insurgency
they were talking about, the communists.
199
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,223
They are communists? So America's allies?
200
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:02,518
What? No. Communists hate America.
201
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:07,189
No, American and Russian and Chinese
are fighting together for communism.
202
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:10,109
No, against fascism. And that was... Ah!
203
00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:13,362
[THUDDING
AND ARCHER SCREAMS]
204
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,655
Ouch.
205
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,074
You think? You think ouch, do you?
206
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,659
[SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
207
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,412
The guerrillas. They will kill me.
Let me go.
208
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,832
They'll kill me. Pull me
up or I will kill you.
209
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,042
[SHOUTING CONTINUES
AND KEN EXCLAIMS IN JAPANESE]
210
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,169
At least give me the gun.
211
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,088
I'll give you the bullets.
212
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,257
You would rather we both die?
213
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:36,343
I'm honestly kind of on the fence.
214
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:39,221
[ARCHER YELLING
AND KEN GRUNTING]
215
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,057
Oh, shut up.
ARCHER: Hey.
216
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:46,270
And here's your office, Miss Archer.
217
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,439
[MALORY SOBBING]
218
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,737
And if the rest of you will follow me,
we've still got a lot to cover.
219
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,031
But it's all just the same as it was.
220
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,699
Exactly. That's the whole point.
221
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,910
But it would've been cheaper
to build a time machine and go back...
222
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,789
...to before the office got blown up.
Ah! We looked into that.
223
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,875
But the technology doesn't exist.
224
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:11,211
I'll catch up. I gotta run in here quick
and grab some urinal cakes.
225
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,881
Why the hell do you need urinal cakes?
226
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,215
For my shower at home.
227
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,633
Oh, Lord.
Gross.
228
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,184
[SCANNER BEEPING]
229
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,562
Miss Archer looks like a mule
kicked her in the face.
230
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:34,068
How's the water?
Sweet baby James, it is perfect.
231
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,944
Um, uh...
232
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,946
Pam.
Pam. Yes, of course.
233
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,782
I know your...
234
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,744
So I gained the weight back. Sue me.
No, I was...
235
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,955
Look, my therapist says everybody's
got a hole that needs to be filled.
236
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,792
Some people fill it with drugs,
some fill it with work...
237
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,670
...some fill it with between-meal snacks
and liquor and their therapist's cock.
238
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:57,257
Um... I was actually looking
at your pubic hair.
239
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:01,470
Oh, yeah. It's a lightning bolt, but I
guess the letters could use a touch-up.
240
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:05,933
It's supposed to say "TCB."
"Taking care of beaveness."
241
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,394
Super. Kanpai.
242
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,270
[BOTH SPEAK IN JAPANESE]
243
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,689
Is that medicine?
244
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,234
Painkillers. Mixed with candy.
245
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,278
I call them Mike and Vikes.
Ah.
246
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,155
I'm sorry about your foot.
247
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,407
Why? It's not your...
248
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,159
Wait, you led me
right into that damn tiger trap?
249
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:28,414
My orders were to defend this island
from the enemy until I was relieved.
250
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,874
I'm not... America's not your enemy.
251
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,044
Japan has no enemies.
You're like... Heh-heh.
252
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:38,674
I wanna say a platypus, but I'm not
sure if that's an accurate analogy.
253
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:42,428
You were saying something before
you fell in, about the communists.
254
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,056
Huh? Oh. Oh, yeah. Like, literally,
the day after the war ended...
255
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,308
...the U.S. and Russia
became mortal enemies.
256
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,520
China too. Called the Cold War.
257
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,106
Then we kind of became friends again.
258
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,983
So now you are...
259
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:59,361
Now, mm, I'm actually not sure
where we stand.
260
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,864
We left it kind of weird.
261
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,491
Who is we? I do not understand.
262
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:05,701
[ARCHER SIGHS]
263
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:11,331
So I work with and used to date
a woman named Lana, who got pregnant.
264
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,501
MALORY: Well, yes, but you can
hardly blame Sterling for being upset.
265
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,878
I mean... Oh!
266
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,381
Even the ice is the same.
That hint of bleach.
267
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:23,343
Anyway, you didn't ask
if you could use his goop.
268
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:27,681
What? Malory, the whole thing about me
using his goop was your idea.
269
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,350
Prove it.
Ah!
270
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,728
So now let's talk about
this name, Abbiejean.
271
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:36,982
Don't you think she'd be better off
if she were a Malory?
272
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,400
ARCHER:
Thoughts?
273
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,986
You do not want to know my thoughts.
274
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:45,574
I do, Ken. I much very do.
275
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,744
You're a major dickhole.
Heh.
276
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,413
And you're kind of a mean drunk.
277
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,166
My wife Hatsumi and my daughter Keiko.
278
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,669
Do you know what I would give
to have seen her grow up?
279
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,924
Yeah, but...
And now you have the chance I never had...
280
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,092
...but you just throw it away.
281
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:07,012
I mean, you know,
I'm going back, obviously.
282
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,307
I'm gonna parent the shit out of that kid.
I just...
283
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:14,811
I just needed some time or space
or whatever...
284
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,773
...you know, to kind of...
285
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,858
[SNORING]
286
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,193
Dickhole.
287
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,283
MAN [ON PHONE]:
The March of News.
288
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,869
The tide of war in the Pacific
is finally changing...
289
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:35,666
...as U.S. Marines attack the Japs
on the island of Guadalcanal.
290
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:42,548
Oh. Oh, I don't know. Some cereal.
It's supposed...
291
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,132
Supposed to be good for you.
292
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,552
What's that? What...? What...?
What's that? What the...?
293
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,764
Oh. Morning, Ken.
So I know this a long shot...
294
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:54,393
...but, uh, do you know
how to make Eggs Woodhouse?
295
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,979
Ken? Ken, what are you doing with...?
296
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,313
MAN:
Victory in the Pacific.
297
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:03,235
Japan finally surrenders, brought to her knees
by the explosion of two atomic bombs...
298
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,862
What? No, no, no, Ken. Turn it off.
299
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:10,909
The first dropped on Hiroshima
and the second on Nagasaki.
300
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,581
I-I'm sorry.
301
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,667
Why? Why are you sorry?
302
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,420
That you had to see that.
That it even happened in the...
303
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,338
[BOTH YELL]
304
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,008
[GROANING]
Sneak attack. Typical.
305
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,968
[PHONE RINGING
AND KEN YELLING]
306
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,554
Hello?
MALORY: Oh, goddamn it.
307
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:33,724
Mother... Mother, it's...
Well, listen up, Vinny Voicemail.
308
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:37,519
I hope you check your messages because
if you don't retrieve that computer...
309
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,480
...and meet the extraction team
within the next two hours...
310
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,900
...you can just get used to bananas.
311
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,110
[TONE BEEPING]
312
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,988
WOMAN [RECORDING]:
If you'd like to make a call, please...
313
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,283
Even the damn phone is the same.
CHERYL: Ugh!
314
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,328
Everything is the same! Jesus!
315
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,455
Oh...
316
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,499
Okay, so, Ken, we've got a situation.
317
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,001
We don't have anything.
318
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:04,254
You have a situation.
I am going home to Japan.
319
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:07,716
Well, unless you wanna swim there,
which, spoiler alert, you can't.
320
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,926
It's too far. You're gonna need my help.
321
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,763
Ha! Because you also need my help.
322
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:17,559
Only because you just broke two of my ribs in
addition to impaling me on a bamboo stake...
323
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:21,188
...on which, I think we both know,
you smeared some poop!
324
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,191
I...
And if you did, I don't wanna know!
325
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:28,945
Because you'd have no idea
what you're supposed to be looking for.
326
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:33,283
Not that I do, necessarily, but...
Will you please hurry?
327
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:38,080
Keep your raggedy bits of shirt on.
That looks pretty computery to me.
328
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,706
So now all I have to do is...
329
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,333
[SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
330
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,627
Shit.
Come. We must go now.
331
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,629
Not yet. I gotta blow this thing.
332
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,215
Then blow it and then come.
333
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,467
Ah. I mean, really?
334
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,302
It's like why even...
335
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:53,512
[GUNFIRE]
336
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,514
I'm sorry.
No, no, no!
337
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,349
[YELLING]
338
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,227
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
339
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,770
[GROANING]
340
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,944
Hey, remember that time
you broke some of my ribs?
341
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:10,612
And then all the remaining ones?
342
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,280
It's your own fault!
343
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,200
My fau... Oh, shit, I didn't blow it.
344
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,203
What?
I was supposed to blow up the plane.
345
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,205
No, what are you...? I'll just lie.
346
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,082
You cannot shirk your duty.
347
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:25,168
Yes, I can! I do it all the time.
348
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,545
Goddamn it.
349
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,880
Asshole!
KEN: Agh!
350
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,718
[BOTH YELLING]
351
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,095
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
352
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,977
Which way to the extraction point?
Uh...
353
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,479
I guess head for the beach?
354
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,818
KEN: Well?
Yeah, it's nice...
355
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,820
...although I assumed there'd be a bar.
356
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,030
You said this was the extraction point.
357
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,450
Heh. No, I merely implied that.
358
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,244
I have no idea where it is. Although...
359
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,914
KEN:
Ah! So you did know.
360
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,167
No, I totally didn't. Swear to God.
361
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,836
Things just usually work out for me.
362
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,338
Which I kind of take for granted.
363
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,924
You Archer?
ARCHER: Duh!
364
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,384
So ready to go home?
365
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,344
I think no.
366
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,847
I have been gone far too long.
367
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:25,061
My family, even if they're still alive,
surely by now, they have moved on.
368
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:30,567
It would not be fair to them
if I were to return after so many years.
369
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,444
Yeah, return to, uh...
370
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,489
Wait, where did you and Hatsumi and Keiko
used to live?
371
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:40,994
Huh? Oh, Takamori. A very small
town in Nagano Prefecture, but...
372
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:42,996
[LINE RINGING]
373
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,125
WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Moshi moshi.
Ah.
374
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,212
Hatsumi? Sato Hatsumi?
375
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,964
Hai.
Hatsumi.
376
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,591
[VOICE QUIVERING]
377
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,093
[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
378
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,386
Kentaro-san?
379
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,388
Hatsumi.
380
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,225
[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]
381
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,645
[HATSUMI SOBBING ON PHONE]
382
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,313
Kentaro-san.
383
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,399
Oh, Hatsumi. Heh-heh.
384
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:15,278
Hey! There's this new thing we have
called a schedule.
385
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:16,655
[GUNFIRE]
386
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,407
We need a minute!
387
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,910
Captain Shitnuts.
388
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,620
Tell her I said hi.
389
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,622
LANA:
Nope.
390
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,500
Ah. No, no, no.
391
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,418
You don't disappear for six weeks...
392
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,755
...and then waltz in here like you
never left and casually say hi.
393
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:39,010
First of all, Lana, I didn't waltz in here, not
with nine broken ribs, a punctured lung...
394
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:43,515
...severe penetration trauma to my foot,
and poop-related septicemia...
395
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,350
...and also crabs.
BOTH: Ugh.
396
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,436
I assume from the jungle.
Oh, please, if...
397
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:51,606
Not to mention that stupid computer,
which is why you're upset...
398
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:55,026
...I mean jealous, because
I aced the mission. What?
399
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,862
And you did blow up the plane?
400
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,739
The plane blew up. Yes. I don't...
Jealous?
401
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:00,949
[BABY CRYING]
402
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,617
Oh, shut up.
BOTH: Hey!
403
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,452
I'm not jealous about the mission.
404
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,746
I'm upset
because no one knew where you were.
405
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,624
And if, huge if, you're
gonna be involved...
406
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,669
...oh, my God, in any sort of
parental role for Abbiejean...
407
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,797
No, yeah, and I... You know, I want to.
408
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,258
But are we married to Abbiejean or...?
409
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,676
Believe me, I tried.
410
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,845
Zip it, Geebaw.
Ah!
411
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:26,349
No! I will not be called Geebaw.
It's Grandmother Archer or nothing.
412
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:30,979
Then hush. Because we, you and I, are
gonna have to establish some ground rules.
413
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,815
Lana, they're just gonna get broken.
Ah.
414
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:38,403
I'm now gonna feed our child. If you would
like to talk while I do so, follow me.
415
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,656
I would. I would love to talk, Lana.
416
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,450
Just don't wanna have to listen.
417
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,410
[LANA SIGHS]
418
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,163
And how about this renovation, huh?
419
00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:51,708
I can't believe they pulled it off.
Wha...? You knew about this?
420
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:56,296
Yeah, I was on the planning committee.
I'm not a huge fan of change.
421
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:57,672
[CHUCKLES]
422
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,133
Except for you, Milton.
423
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,135
[ARCHER CHUCKLES]
424
00:21:02,185 --> 00:21:06,735
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33010
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
