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ARCHER: What do you mean, your water
broke?! LANA: What do you mean, what
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do I mean? I mean that! I'm going
into labor! CHERLENE: Wait. What?!
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LANA: I'm having a baby? CHERLENE: Gross!
ARCHER: Bu-But it's early.
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Is-is that early?! LANA: Like, ten
days, but... ARCHER: But that's bad.
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Is that bad?! LANA: Archer,
none of this is ideal!
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HOLLY: Hey! LANA & ARCHER: What?!
HOLLY: What the hell are you
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people doing in San Marcos in the first
place?! LANA: Selling weapons to
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Calder?n! ARCHER: That we got from him!
HOLLY: What?!
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SLATER: What? HOLLY: What what? You
didn't think that was something I'd
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like to know about?! SLATER: I'm
positive we talked about this.
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HOLLY: No, we didn't! SLATER: 100%
positive. HOLLY: When?! When did we
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talk about this?! SLATER: 80% positive.
LANA: Wait a minute.
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If the CIA is backing the
rebels against Calder... Ohhh!
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ARCHER: Lana! Was that a contraction?!
LANA: Yup. Ohh!
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God, I hope so. Yup. ARCHER: Time!
Start a clock, assholes!
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SLATER: Uh, okay. Mark!
(beep) CHERLENE: Twain!
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No, that's barges. LANA: Shut up!
(groans)
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But, hey, speaking of time...
ARCHER: What's your Bishop Score?!
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LANA: How should I...? Wait. How do
you even know what a Bishop Score is?
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ARCHER: I got certified as a doula,
which, turns out, is not that hard.
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LANA: Shut up. Does the CIA know Calder?n
has a nerve gas missile at the palace?
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ARCHER: What?! CHERLENE: Cool.
HOLLY: We didn't give him
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gas! LANA: Well, he's got it, and
we can't override the launch
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sequence, so we've... HOLLY: Get
that idiot Calder?n on the phone!
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ARCHER: Oh, did I mention, a tiger ate him?
HOLLY: What?!
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SLATER: Wait. What?! CHERLENE: Well,
not ate ate. ARCHER: Well, no, but by
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now... HOLLY: Jesus God.
Okay, Slater, I know it's a
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little sooner than we wanted, but...
SLATER: Operation Dropkick.
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Roger that. LANA: What's
Operation Dropkick?
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HOLLY: Well, the endgame has always
been for us to invade San Marcos, so...
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SLATER: Hey, Donna, we got a
carrier group in the Gulf, right?
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LANA: Wait. If you were going to invade San
Marcos, then why have you been selling weapons to
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Calder?n? HOLLY: So he
could fight the rebels.
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LANA: Which is you. HOLLY: Well,
technically, they're mercenaries from
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Honduras and Guatemala, but yes. LANA:
Okay, so, am I just stupid, or...?
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CHERLENE: Duh. Pregnant. SLATER: Yeah,
airstrike, naval bombardment, amphibious
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landing, whole megillah. HOLLY: Calder?n
needed weapons to fight the rebels, but
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he didn't have money to buy weapons.
He only had cocaine, but Iran
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was like, "No way. Cash only." So...
ARCHER & LANA: Iran?!
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HOLLY: Ooh, sorry. Iraq. Wait. No, Iran.
No, doesn't matter who.
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Anyway, to buy the weapons, we needed to...
monetize the cocaine.
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(Lana gasps) LANA: Oh, my God.
ARCHER: Join the club.
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We've been trying to monetize cocaine
for, like... I mean, you even came to the
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house, where we... We've been selling
cocaine for the CIA so they could buy arms
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from Iran?! Did we at least
free some hostages?!
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HOLLY: No, this was about our annual
budget. ARCHER & LANA: What?!
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HOLLY: If we don't spend it this year,
we can't get an increase next year.
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ARCHER: You son of a... HOLLY: Oh,
come on, Archer. Drop the act!
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He was in on it from day one.
ARCHER & LANA: What?! (Lana growls)
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(Archer chokes) (Cherlene squeals
and laughs) (Archer chokes)
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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LANA: You lying son of a bitch!
(Archer gasps, mutters)
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LANA: You knew about this the entire time?!
ARCHER: No, no.
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(Archer choking) (Cherlene
squeals) SLATER: Hey, do you mind?
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I'm trying to call in an air strike here.
HOLLY: Ooh, hey, what's our ride situation?
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SLATER: Hang on.
Thanks, doll.
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Air strike on the palace is a go, and
I suggest we take Calder?n's jet.
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HOLLY: Good. Yeah, we need plenty of room...
until we dump them at a black site.
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ARCHER: What the f... (Archer gasps,
coughs) HOLLY: Come on, even if you
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people hadn't lost 50 million bucks worth
of our cocaine, you know way too much.
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CHERLENE: Uh, I don't know anything!
HOLLY: I believe that to be
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literally true. Oye, muchachos!
Agarrenlos!
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(Lana grunts) (grunting)
(gun cocks, Lana yells)
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HOLLY: Okay. Whoa! Whoa! SLATER: Jesus!
We give up. HOLLY: Whoa! Whoa! Come on.
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SLATER: Don't shoot! (Lana
sighs) LANA: Now then.
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Let's get this baby out of me.
CHERLENE: Gross! LANA: Will you sh...
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(Lana groans loudly) ARCHER (weakly):
Time?! SLATER: Nine minutes!
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What? This is exciting. KRIEGER: Right?
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
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Minutes to launch-- 60. RAY: Yeah, Krieger,
I guess trying to defuse a warhead
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tipped with deadly nerve gas is technically
exciting. KRIEGER: Yeah, right?
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RAY: What is wrong with you?
KRIEGER: Nothin', Roy. RAY: Or Ray.
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KRIEGER: Eh. Doesn't matter who.
CYRIL: Krieger!
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(Krieger and Ray gasp) CYRIL:
Where are we on the missile?!
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KRIEGER: Uh, kind of just like... on it.
Oh, do you mean where are we in
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the process of disarming it? Ooh!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (Cyril sighs)
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Ow! Come on. Ow! Ow! CYRIL: Okay.
MALORY: What happened?!
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Did it explode?! CYRIL: Uh, no.
I think we would've heard it.
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MALORY: Well, it's just a matter of time before
it does, with those idiots working on it!
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We need to leave! CYRIL: Well, A:
I'm president for life, so I'm not
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going anywhere, and B... COMANDANTE: Se?or
Presidente! Our radar station has detected
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incoming bombers! From their
heading, they appear... American!
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(Malory gasps) (Cyril clears
his throat) CYRIL: And B...
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COMANDANTE: And I hate to tell you this, but
the First Lady and I are having an affair.
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(Cyril sniffles) CYRIL: Damn, dawg.
That was my B.
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JULIANA: It's over, Cyril. It's over!
CYRIL: Nothing is over!
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Nothing! You don't just turn it off!
It wasn't my war!
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You asked me. I didn't ask you!
And I did what I had to do to
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win! But somebody
wouldn't let us win!
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MALORY: Yes, and that somebody is a U.S.
Navy carrier group, so let's go already!
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(Cyril sniffles) CYRIL:
Okay, but I'm taking these.
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MALORY (laughing): Oh, we're taking
everything! Furs, jewels, the silverware,
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bullion, anything you can cram in a
suitcase! PAM: Mm, mm. Wouldn't bullion
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leak out of a...? Ow! Ow! Cut it...
Ow, goddamn it!
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I... Ow! MALORY: Gold
bullion, you idiot!
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PAM: I don't know what that is!
JULIANA: And I don't know who
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you think you are! You are not robbing
my palace! MALORY: Oh, yes, we are, and
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if you've got any sense, you'll fill your
pockets, too! Because your regime is
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officially over. And I've seen coups from
Angola to Zanzibar, and this is how it
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ends: in the trunk of a taxi to the airport,
your belly full of diamonds and vodka,
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praying your driver doesn't rat you out
to the Reds at the last checkpoint.
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Because then, the last thing you'll ever hear,
besides a pistol cocking behind your head,
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is Ivan's laugh-- (Pam cackling)
MALORY: What... in the name
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of God... is funny?! PAM (laughing):
You said you've seen cooze.
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(Pam clears her throat) Appropes.
(Pam grunts)
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REBEL SOLDIER 1: Vamonos! Los Americanos
vienen! REBEL SOLDIERS: Corre!
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Corre! Corre! REBEL SOLDIER 2: Espere!
Espere! Esp-- wughh!
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CHERLENE: Aww... All the
gardeners are running away.
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HOLLY: Because this entire country's about
to be up to its tits in U.S. Marines.
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SLATER: And unless you people want to wind
up classified as enemy combatants, you...
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(gunfire) ARCHER: Six minutes!
Doing great, buddy.
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Got to remember to breathe, though. That's
the... LANA: Oh, get out, you lying
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sack of bastard! ARCHER: Okay, A: He
and Mother are the lying sacks of
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bastard. I didn't know it
was the CIA's cocaine.
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And B: Seriously, buddy, let's try and work on
that breathing. CHERLENE: What's wrong with
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her? ARCHER: Wha...?
She's having a baby!
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CHERLENE: Gross.
(Cherlene slurping)
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(Lana breathing rapidly) ARCHER:
Doing good, buddy. LANA: Archer!
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If you call me buddy again, I will put
the bullets in your body by hand!
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ARCHER: Shh, and we're breathing...
(both breathe deeply)
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LANA (exhaling): Ooh... ARCHER:
There we go. Okay, Carol!
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(Cherlene slurps) CHERLENE: What?
Jesus! What is your problem!
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LANA: Morphine, want, find, give!
ARCHER: Shh. Come on, Lana,
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you don't need that. LANA (gasps):
How dare you tell me what I...
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ARCHER: Shut up. Okay, Carol, I need
you to look down there and give me a
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sit-rep. CHERLENE: Down where?
ARCHER: There, down there, at
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her, um... CHERLENE: Ew! No! You do it!
SLATER: I'll do it!
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ARCHER: Shut up. I can't look down there
because there's, like, a hundred percent
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chance that at some point in the
future we're gonna have sex, so...
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LANA: Who?! ARCHER: Shh. So
just look down there and...
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CHERLENE: I'm not looking at her goddamn
va... Joinks! Well, you don't need to shave.
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(laughs) That thing is smooth.
LANA: I...! Thank you.
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CHERLENE: And also kind of mauve.
LANA (sighs): Okay.
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SLATER: Eh, I'd say more
of a mauve-taupe? Ow!
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HOLLY: Ow! (Lana grunting
loudly) ARCHER: Breathe, bu...
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breathe, friend. Because, uh...
Wow. Okay.
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FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
Minutes to launch... six...
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(Gillette yells) (Krieger
screaming) GILLETTE: Where the...
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(approaching footsteps, screaming
continues) KRIEGER (panting): Okay...
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I have some thoughts on this.
GILLETTE: Really? KRIEGER: Yes.
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GILLETTE: Which are...?! KRIEGER: Oh. Okay.
So, I don't think we can disarm
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this thing. GILLETTE: Really?
KRIEGER: Yes.
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Oh. Okay. So, it doesn't have an explosive
payload, so it's basically just a flying
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trash can. The only dangerous
part is the nerve gas.
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(jet engines whooshing) GILLETTE: I'm
listening. COPILOT (over radio): Roger
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that, flight deck. Um... PILOT:
Range-- 150. ETA-- 12 minutes.
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COPILOT: Hey, is your dad still
big into tapas? PILOT: My what?
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Oh, no, that wasn't my dad. COPILOT: Well,
who was it? PILOT: Doesn't matter who.
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PAM: Because these trunks feel light.
Do you swear they're full of
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00:09:53,821 --> 00:09:56,956
cocaine? MALORY: As God...
is my witness.
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PAM: God hates you. Open 'em up.
MALORY: Wha...?
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(horn honking) CYRIL: Will you
two come on?! PAM: On what?
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00:10:03,610 --> 00:10:06,479
MALORY: Ugh! CYRIL: Do you hear that?
(jets whooshing)
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MALORY (gasps): If we get out of here
alive, I'll buy you all new cocaine.
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And a pony! PAM: You heard her,
Cyril-- that is legally binding.
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00:10:13,299 --> 00:10:16,268
CYRIL: Yeah, we'll stop at a notary.
MALORY: There's no time!
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00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:21,554
SLATER: Hey. Hi! Do you people hear that?
HOLLY: After the air strike
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00:10:21,713 --> 00:10:24,748
on the palace, you won't be able to swing a
dead cat around here without hitting a Marine.
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00:10:24,898 --> 00:10:28,934
CHERLENE: Plus, if you did, I bet they'd
smash your teeth down your stupid throat.
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00:10:29,089 --> 00:10:32,992
ARCHER: Okay, uh... Lana, I
need to borrow your weapon.
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00:10:33,145 --> 00:10:37,782
LANA: No! I will see you in Hell first.
ARCHER: I... Okay, Carol,
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00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:41,242
grab that one. (cocks weapon)
CHERLENE: Private Me,
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00:10:41,392 --> 00:10:45,062
reporting for sploosh. ARCHER (groans):
Take Tweedledick and Tweedleballs, go
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00:10:45,214 --> 00:10:49,985
get the jet ready for takeoff... CHERLENE:
Outlaw country! ARCHER: Let me finish!
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00:10:50,142 --> 00:10:53,311
CHERLENE: What?! ARCHER: And
make sure they don't escape.
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00:10:53,461 --> 00:10:58,966
CHERLENE: Oh, my God, good thing you added
that last part. You heard the doula-- move it!
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LANA: And get me some frickin' morphine!
ARCHER: Lana, come on, what
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00:11:02,446 --> 00:11:05,815
kind of doula would I be if I let
you have more... (rifle clicks)
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00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,835
ARCHER: Wha...? (Lana
grunting loudly) ARCHER: Wow.
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00:11:08,983 --> 00:11:12,452
LANA: And some ammo! ARCHER (chuckling):
You were really gonna shoot me in the
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00:11:12,604 --> 00:11:17,107
face? LANA (sniffles):
Is that so much to ask?
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00:11:17,264 --> 00:11:23,035
COPILOT: Uncle. Uh, friend of the family.
PILOT: Dude. Drop it.
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00:11:26,114 --> 00:11:30,718
(classical piano music playing) COMANDANTE:
We should get to the shelter soon.
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00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:35,144
JULIANA: You coward. COMANDANTE: Wha...?
JULIANA: I've never loved
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00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:41,038
you. (Comandante sighs)
COMANDANTE: Okay.
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00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,202
CYRIL: But what if the rebels recognize me?
MALORY: If...
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PAM: Yeah, and then drag him out of the car
and kneel him down and shoot him in the back
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00:11:47,705 --> 00:11:53,042
of the head and string him up on a lamppost
like Mussolini! CYRIL: Yeah. What then?
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00:11:53,203 --> 00:11:57,206
MALORY: That's a chance I'm
willing to take. PAM: Me too.
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00:11:57,359 --> 00:12:00,361
(Pam munching, chewing) MALORY:
Cyril, look... PAM: Cyril...!
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(Cyril screaming) (Krieger and
Gillette screaming) (all screaming)
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(screaming stops) (song playing
quietly on radio) KRIEGER: Hi, guys.
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00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,844
MALORY: What the hell are you idiots...
(rumbling)
183
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:25,836
(song continues on radio):
It's them
broken hearts...
KRIEGER: Oh, come on, we
184
00:12:25,989 --> 00:12:29,559
couldn't leave it in the rocket. (car thuds,
all gasp) And we couldn't just leave it
185
00:12:29,711 --> 00:12:33,914
lying in the road. Come on, you don't want
a thing like that falling into the wrong
186
00:12:34,069 --> 00:12:37,738
hands. The only thing necessary for
evil to triumph is that good men
187
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:41,994
do nothing. MALORY: Said
the clone of Adolf Hitler.
188
00:12:42,148 --> 00:12:46,585
KRIEGER: Well... Edmund Burke, but...
Doesn't matter who.
189
00:12:46,741 --> 00:12:50,978
(over radio):
...auto parts This year.
(rattling)
190
00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:58,262
PILOT: Dude, drop it. COPILOT:
I'm not gonna judge you.
191
00:12:58,418 --> 00:13:02,121
PILOT: The ordnance, Mike. Drop the
ordnance. COPILOT (chuckles): Oh.
192
00:13:02,273 --> 00:13:08,145
Duh. PILOT (sighs): Idiot.
(explosions thundering)
193
00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:11,744
MALORY: Cyril, for God's sake, be careful!
CYRIL: Would you shut up?
194
00:13:11,895 --> 00:13:15,731
I know how to dr... (all gasping,
grunting) MALORY: Idiot.
195
00:13:15,884 --> 00:13:18,919
(Lana screaming) OTHERS: Huh?
What the...? MALORY: Lana?
196
00:13:19,069 --> 00:13:22,905
(Lana screaming) LANA: Archer!
What... are you doing?
197
00:13:23,058 --> 00:13:26,494
ARCHER: I'm trying to get this stupid angle
right, Lana, so you can look in the mirror
198
00:13:26,646 --> 00:13:29,481
and see if you're crowning. LANA: What?!
MALORY: For the love of
199
00:13:29,629 --> 00:13:32,998
Christ! ARCHER: Mother, hey, go over
there and tell me if you can...
200
00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:37,219
MALORY: Get out! And, Pam, get in here.
LANA (panting): No, no...
201
00:13:37,374 --> 00:13:41,911
MALORY: Shh... Everything's
all right. Here.
202
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:44,435
All right, now, Pam, I want you to...
PAM: You know how many times
203
00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:49,185
I've helped a cow give birth in the barn?
Plus, one time, my sister Edie?
204
00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:54,212
Well, she couldn't have it in the house.
Long story.
205
00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:57,339
A long, racist story. RAY: I had black guy.
What did y'all have?
206
00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:00,408
CYRIL: (groans) I wasn't in the sperm
donor pool. RAY: Phra... Wait, are we
207
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,374
still doing phrasing? KRIEGER: Huh.
Should I be in there?
208
00:14:03,523 --> 00:14:07,392
I feel like I should. I mean, I am a
doctor. RAY & CYRIL: No, you're not.
209
00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:10,546
KRIEGER: Well, no, but... a student of
life. (Archer grunting, loud crashing)
210
00:14:10,563 --> 00:14:13,498
RAY: Loud. (more crashing) I
have cigarettes, if you want
211
00:14:13,648 --> 00:14:18,418
them! ARCHER: (grunts) No, Ray, I
just feel like smashing stuff.
212
00:14:18,576 --> 00:14:22,178
Jesus, I feel so helpless out here!
What if something goes wrong?
213
00:14:22,331 --> 00:14:25,199
What-what if there's a-a birth defect or...
LANA: (grunts) No. No, no,
214
00:14:25,348 --> 00:14:28,216
stop. No, what if there's
aren't enough hands and feet?
215
00:14:28,365 --> 00:14:31,767
MALORY: Shh, it's going to... LANA: Oh, my
God, what if there are too many hands and
216
00:14:31,918 --> 00:14:35,221
feet? Is that worse, or... PAM: Hey!
I have the correct
217
00:14:35,371 --> 00:14:38,572
number of hands, but they're currently kind
of full and you need a slappin', so...
218
00:14:38,656 --> 00:14:42,659
LANA: Wait... (gasps) MALORY: Oh, please.
Like you're the only one who
219
00:14:42,814 --> 00:14:46,316
ever had a baby in a war zone. LANA:
You know... PAM: Okay, okay, okay.
220
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:51,238
Get some hay ready to dry this little
bastard off because now you are gonna push!
221
00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:56,267
LANA: (grunts) No, no, no, no, what
if we... Ow! PAM: You old bitch!
222
00:14:56,425 --> 00:15:02,496
Now move that big fat smelly ass, you hear?
A Day No Pigs Would Die?
223
00:15:02,661 --> 00:15:06,330
Anybody? Not a big Robert
Newton Peck crowd, huh?
224
00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:09,985
MALORY: Who is... PAM: Oh, shut up.
Now push! (Lana screaming)
225
00:15:10,136 --> 00:15:14,440
ARCHER: (gasps) Lana! CYRIL: Hey,
hey, come on, they've got this.
226
00:15:14,595 --> 00:15:18,899
(baby crying) (all
gasp) (Archer laughs)
227
00:15:19,054 --> 00:15:22,056
(Cyril grunts) PAM: Well, it's a girl!
OTHERS: Aw!
228
00:15:22,205 --> 00:15:25,074
PAM: And whoever had black guy, pay up.
ARCHER: Aw, shit.
229
00:15:25,222 --> 00:15:28,792
RAY: Goddamn it! PAM: Yep. Got
ourselves a little quadroon.
230
00:15:28,944 --> 00:15:34,716
MALORY: (sighs) You did good, kiddo.
LANA (dreamily): Mmm, yeah.
231
00:15:34,877 --> 00:15:40,849
Oh, and, uh, I quit. MALORY: Wha... Why?
LANA: Because you lying to me
232
00:15:41,012 --> 00:15:46,050
I can handle-- I'm used to that-- but...
(sighs) not Archer.
233
00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:50,913
MALORY: Oh, for... He didn't know that I
made a deal to sell cocaine for the CIA.
234
00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:56,074
LANA: (scoffs) Whatever. MALORY: Lana Kane,
you have known me for a long, long time.
235
00:15:56,233 --> 00:16:01,804
When have I ever been honest
with Sterling? LANA: Huh.
236
00:16:01,965 --> 00:16:07,303
MALORY: Exactly. Now, if you two will
excuse me, I need to go threaten and/or
237
00:16:07,463 --> 00:16:12,835
bribe some federal agents. Well,
at least put a seatbelt on it!
238
00:16:12,995 --> 00:16:15,930
ARCHER: See? What'd I tell you!
KRIEGER: I thought it was
239
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,282
just for takeoff and landing! MALORY:
Jesus Christ. ARCHER: So, um, how's she
240
00:16:19,431 --> 00:16:23,183
doing? MALORY: She's fine.
I told her you didn't know
241
00:16:23,322 --> 00:16:25,026
anything about the CIA deal.
242
00:16:25,154 --> 00:16:28,190
Well thanks for telling the truth, Mother--
sure that was hard for you.
243
00:16:28,325 --> 00:16:31,448
MALORY: You keep it up, mister, and I'll walk
right back in there and tell her the whole
244
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:34,901
thing was your idea.
ARCHER: Did you guys hear that?
245
00:16:35,052 --> 00:16:38,187
OTHERS: No. ARCHER: Dicks.
MALORY: All right, Holly,
246
00:16:38,338 --> 00:16:41,907
this is my offer and it is nonnegotiable...
PAM: (gasps) You think she's
247
00:16:42,058 --> 00:16:45,894
buying more coke? CHERLENE: (groans)
You and your stupid, stupid cocaine!
248
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:49,484
Can't you give her a brain chip?
KRIEGER: A what? CYRIL: A brain chip.
249
00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:53,505
Like you gave Cherlene so she could become a
country singer. KRIEGER: Oh, no, that wasn't
250
00:16:53,658 --> 00:16:57,061
a brain chip. It was just the sticker
off the backpack of a little Lego
251
00:16:57,212 --> 00:17:00,081
spaceman. PAM: What?
CYRIL: A Lego sticker?
252
00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:05,333
CHERLENE: Whoa. So my whole life, all I
ever had to do was believe in myself?
253
00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:09,496
And inject a sticker into my brain?
HOLLY: Are you out of your
254
00:17:09,649 --> 00:17:13,051
mind? MALORY: Are you?
Showing up at the mansion,
255
00:17:13,203 --> 00:17:16,172
pretending to search for the cocaine?
HOLLY: While planting the
256
00:17:16,321 --> 00:17:19,823
seed in your idiot son's brain about selling
it overseas. MALORY: Which I could have
257
00:17:19,975 --> 00:17:24,111
handled if the CIA had kept its fat
nose out! HOLLY: And yet here we are,
258
00:17:24,266 --> 00:17:27,535
with a $50 million hole in our account.
MALORY: There's 40 of it.
259
00:17:27,685 --> 00:17:32,449
An original Ivan Blitko we stole
from Calder?n. HOLLY: What am I supposed to do with that?
260
00:17:32,606 --> 00:17:36,309
MALORY: Gosh, I don't know. What am I
supposed to do with a canister of nerve gas?
261
00:17:36,462 --> 00:17:40,432
HOLLY: No, uh-uh. That is now CIA property.
MALORY: Ooh, and won't that
262
00:17:40,585 --> 00:17:45,256
be a feather in your cap. They
might even make you director.
263
00:17:45,413 --> 00:17:49,216
HOLLY: Hmm... or at least Deputy Ops.
MALORY: Which-- and I'm just
264
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:54,806
spitballing here-- would mean you could outsource
a good deal of business to a private firm.
265
00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:58,837
(Malory slurps) Like ISIS.
HOLLY: So you lose us $50
266
00:17:58,991 --> 00:18:03,394
million and you want to get on the
CIA payroll? MALORY: Right after you
267
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,785
renovate my offices. HOLLY: Ha!
You really are out of your mind.
268
00:18:06,935 --> 00:18:10,872
MALORY: Or right after I take this
deal to your partner in the cockpit...
269
00:18:11,025 --> 00:18:20,067
RAY: So, what's your deal? SLATER:
What's my deal? RAY: Never mind.
270
00:18:20,245 --> 00:18:23,114
MALORY: Because you suddenly decided
to take up skydiving. (cocks gun)
271
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:27,506
HOLLY: I think we may have a deal here.
(knocking)
272
00:18:27,654 --> 00:18:30,923
ARCHER: Knock, knock. LANA: Who's there?
ARCHER: Shit, I-I had
273
00:18:31,073 --> 00:18:34,543
something for this. LANA: (sighs)
Come see the baby, stupid.
274
00:18:34,694 --> 00:18:40,032
ARCHER: Wow. LANA: Yeah.
ARCHER: Wow.
275
00:18:40,192 --> 00:18:46,164
LANA: (sighs) Yeah. ARCHER: I-I had black
guy. LANA: Yeah. So, about that...
276
00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:49,196
ARCHER: I don't think it's racist,
it's just that I thought...
277
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:51,579
LANA: Archer, shut up. ARCHER:
(chuckles) You shut up.
278
00:18:51,724 --> 00:18:55,727
LANA: Archer... (clears throat) Okay,
so, remember when you had cancer?
279
00:18:55,882 --> 00:18:59,918
ARCHER: (chuckles) Um, uh, vaguely.
LANA: (sighs) Okay.
280
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:03,675
Well, we all thought you were gonna die.
And one night you got really
281
00:19:03,827 --> 00:19:08,864
drunk and we almost had sex and, right before you
passed out, you told me Malory had convinced you
282
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:12,926
to freeze a bunch of your sperm at Dr. Feldman's
office. And I was like, "Huh, weird."
283
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,282
(high-pitched ringing) And then you didn't
die, and then a few years went by and I
284
00:19:16,433 --> 00:19:19,835
started thinking about having a baby, but I
was single. And all the other stuff aside,
285
00:19:19,986 --> 00:19:23,122
physically, you're an amazing human being.
And all the other other stuff
286
00:19:23,271 --> 00:19:27,341
aside, I do actually love you. (muffled): And
so here's this viable sample just sitting there
287
00:19:27,496 --> 00:19:31,999
at Dr. Feldman's, whose security system is a
joke, by the way. And so I guess it maybe wasn't
288
00:19:32,156 --> 00:19:40,065
the most ethical thing I've ever done in
my entire life, but... (echoing): Archer?
289
00:19:40,238 --> 00:19:47,210
Archer. Archer...
ARCHER: Wuzzat?!
290
00:19:47,379 --> 00:19:52,516
Wait, wait, huh, huh? What? LANA: You okay?
ARCHER: (exhales) Yeah.
291
00:19:52,676 --> 00:19:56,436
Sorry. For a second, I-I thought I was just now
coming out of a coma from when I drowned, saving
292
00:19:56,531 --> 00:20:02,202
your life eight months ago. (Archer
sighs) Lana, am I just now coming out
293
00:20:02,364 --> 00:20:05,232
of a coma from when I drowned
saving your life eight months ago?
294
00:20:05,382 --> 00:20:11,387
LANA: No. ARCHER: Hmm. Lana,
am I just now coming out
295
00:20:11,550 --> 00:20:14,752
of a coma from when I drowned,
saving your life eight months ago?
296
00:20:14,902 --> 00:20:19,238
LANA: No. ARCHER: Then what are you...
Baby, what is she saying?
297
00:20:19,395 --> 00:20:24,399
Baby? Baby. Baby!
298
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:31,830
(baby cooing) ARCHER: M-meep.
LANA: Sterling Archer, I'd
299
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:37,771
like you to meet your daughter, Abbiejean.
(Abbiejean cooing)
300
00:20:37,906 --> 00:20:46,987
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
301
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:05,232
MAN: Made... in Georgia.
302
00:21:05,282 --> 00:21:09,832
Repair and Synchronization by
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