Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,390 --> 00:00:03,090
Item six.
2
00:00:04,390 --> 00:00:05,930
Yeah, we're
not done with item five!
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,430
Well obviously we are,
because I just said "item six."
4
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:12,680
Where the hell're we supposed to
eat lunch if you close the break room?
5
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:13,940
Wherever you'd like.
6
00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:17,580
As long as it's not Le Cirque,
Lut?ce, Elaine's, 21, The
7
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,340
Russian Tea Room, or The Palm.
8
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:21,570
Like we can afford to
eat lunch at any of those.
9
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:22,110
All the better.
10
00:00:22,180 --> 00:00:24,720
Saves us all the embarrassment
of my snubbing you.
11
00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:25,220
Malory --
12
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:26,720
And, shut up, it will
13
00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:28,720
save me God knows how much on
14
00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:32,160
exterminators... That
break room is disgusting.
15
00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:33,920
A pig wouldn't be caught dead in there.
16
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,230
Yeah it would.
17
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:38,060
- Aww, Pigley Two...
- And you!
18
00:00:38,130 --> 00:00:41,230
Mister "I Can Solve Your Ant Problem!"
19
00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:44,200
First of all, it's Doctor
"I Can Solve Your Ant Problem"...
20
00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:54,410
And second of
all, here's your refund.
21
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,950
I really thought that would work.j'ai vraiment cru que cela all? march?
22
00:00:56,020 --> 00:01:00,750
What were you going for, ant-strength
relative to the size of a human?
23
00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:01,390
Shut up.
24
00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:05,720
Everyone shut
up, because item six!
25
00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:09,860
Talk to Pam today, because somehow,
and seemingly impossibly soon, it is
26
00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:13,030
once again time for... peer reviews.
27
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,470
Yaaayyyy!
28
00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:15,930
Ugh, how can you not hate those?
29
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,770
I dunno, maybe I'm the only
one who cares about this being
30
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,740
an efficient and supportive
work environment...
31
00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:21,640
Maybe you're lame.
32
00:01:21,710 --> 00:01:23,770
Maybe you can shut
your dick-holster.
33
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,810
So see me after, I've got
everyone paired off.
34
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,080
Well, except Ms. Archer.
35
00:01:28,150 --> 00:01:29,790
Wait, why don't
you have to do it?
36
00:01:29,850 --> 00:01:33,750
Well I would... if I had
a peer in this entire building.
37
00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:35,620
Item seven.
38
00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:36,090
Oh.
39
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,490
You all remember Lucas Troy...
40
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,860
- Shitbag.
- What're you talking about, Luke's awesome!
41
00:01:41,930 --> 00:01:47,800
He's a kickass agent, a great wingman,
he can drink Ireland under the table...
42
00:01:47,870 --> 00:01:50,500
back when we were training
together we tore it up!
43
00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:52,170
Just like his ISIS contract!
44
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,670
I trained him for a year, and
the minute he's worth a damn he
45
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,810
goes to work for ODIN?!
46
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,210
She said, oversimplifyingly!
47
00:01:59,280 --> 00:01:59,910
Wh-?!
48
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:04,420
And so, congratulations to all our
new agents, but especially to our
49
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,750
highest-scoring recruit, Lucas Troy!
50
00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:10,120
Way to go Luke!
51
00:02:10,190 --> 00:02:13,460
I'm going to work for ODIN.
52
00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:14,860
He was still awesome.
53
00:02:14,930 --> 00:02:15,830
And my best --
54
00:02:15,890 --> 00:02:16,290
Only --
55
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,300
shut up, my best
56
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,130
friend, Mother, which is why you
hated him, because you were
57
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,430
jealous of our relationship.
58
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,170
- So, you two were in a relationship...
Wh-?
59
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,470
No, not the Ray kind!
60
00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:28,970
Meaning?
61
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,840
Homosexual, Ray.
62
00:02:30,910 --> 00:02:32,840
So, so obviously.
63
00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:36,280
What's not obvious, Mother, is why my
best friend, the awesome Luke Troy,
64
00:02:36,350 --> 00:02:38,150
is on your stupid agenda!
65
00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:43,910
Oh, right, let's see here...
Doo doo doo dooo... oh.
66
00:02:44,150 --> 00:02:46,020
He's dead.
67
00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:47,890
He's... what?
68
00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:49,030
Dead!
69
00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:52,790
Jesus, clean the secretly gay for
Lucas Troy out of your ears.
70
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:31,850
This is crazy,
how could Luke be --
71
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,600
- Gay?
- Dead! Lana.
72
00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:36,940
And your little, whatever, gay
innuendos don't even merit a --
73
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:38,440
Reach-around?
74
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,440
Owww! Jesus!
75
00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:41,310
Ha ha!
76
00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:44,610
It's just like my birthday
party all over again.
77
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:45,480
Remember?
78
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:46,310
Nooo!
79
00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:46,850
Yeah.
80
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,250
Because you weren't invited.
81
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,620
Mother, tell me
exactly what happened!
82
00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:53,720
To lure a black market
arms dealer into the open,
83
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:56,790
Troy was posing as a nuclear
scientist who had stolen enough
84
00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:58,790
uranium for a dirty bomb.
85
00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:01,800
Oh, that is
classic Luke the Spook!
86
00:04:01,860 --> 00:04:07,240
Hey stupid, here's your fake uranium,
click, handcuffs, drops mic on stage.
87
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:08,800
Yes, that was the plan.
88
00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:12,440
But somehow, thanks to what I
just assume is ODIN idiocy,
89
00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:14,580
Troy acquired real uranium.
90
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:15,810
Even classic-er!
91
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,450
The bad guys would obviously
bring a Geiger counter!
92
00:04:18,510 --> 00:04:21,020
And ten million
dollars in bearer bonds.
93
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:25,050
And when the smoke had cleared,
four ODIN agents were dead, and
94
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,520
the uranium, the bad guys, and
the money had all disappeared.
95
00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:29,590
And so had Troy.
96
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:30,930
Doesn't... prove anything.
97
00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:32,960
Oh for -- Archer, if it
walks like a duck, and quacks
98
00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:36,130
like a duck, and murders a
bunch of its fellow ducks...
99
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,030
Then maybe the duck
knew there was a mole!
100
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,470
Ever think of that?!
101
00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:42,840
That maybe there's a
fox in the henhouse?!
102
00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:44,840
A wolf in sheep's clothing?!
103
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,840
Or one of the other tricky animals?!
104
00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:48,380
Well, we'll never know.
105
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,780
The plane he escaped in
crashed, in Vermont.
106
00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:53,880
What, no, I bet he faked his
own death so he can expose the mole!
107
00:04:53,950 --> 00:04:56,450
There is no mole, and faked it how?
108
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,450
Paging Dr. Cooper!
109
00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,990
Dr. D.B. Cooper!
110
00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:02,990
Lana, he obviously bailed out and --
And then...
111
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,460
landed safely, buried his
chute, ran ten miles to the
112
00:05:06,530 --> 00:05:10,300
crash site and then strapped himself
into the still-burning wreckage?
113
00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:12,630
That... that could be anybody.
114
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:14,970
Well, anybody
with his dental records.
115
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:15,670
What?!
116
00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:20,180
Yes, Sterling, I'm --
actually no, I'm not sorry.
117
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,550
He was a traitor and a thief,
and so I'm glad he's dead.
118
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:24,380
If he is!
119
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:27,880
Because you've always been
insanely jealous of my friends!
120
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,690
So if you'll excuse me,
Mother, I have to go clear
121
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,390
the name of an American hero.
122
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:41,930
Does he seem... almost
a little too fond of Troy?
123
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,370
Yeah, and you
know he was gay, right?
124
00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:45,770
As a tangerine.
125
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:47,770
In jean shorts.
126
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,680
But, I thought
Troy was already dead.
127
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,710
Because he wants
you to think that!
128
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:55,010
But I have a list of all his
known aliases, so see if any of
129
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,740
them used a passport!
130
00:05:56,810 --> 00:05:58,210
Oh, or a credit card!
131
00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,910
Yeah, like at roughtrade dot net.
132
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:02,750
Lana, I will hire Kenny
Loggins to come here and
133
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,920
play an acoustic set while I
slap some sense into you.
134
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:06,560
Pff.
135
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:07,460
Ray, back me up here.
136
00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:09,920
Luke Troy, yes or no, gayest dude ever.
137
00:06:09,990 --> 00:06:11,690
Uh...
138
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,930
Dude, what, it was just the tip!
139
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,540
Meathead fratboy asshole jock
maybe, but no, definitely not gay.
140
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:21,640
What?!
141
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:23,940
Boom!
142
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:25,040
Sorry.
143
00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:26,110
What.
144
00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:26,940
What?!
145
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:27,910
I knew it!
146
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:28,980
Where is he?!
147
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,250
And why don't we leave the
terrace door open, Woodhouse?!
148
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,950
Exactly, because he's a frickin lemur!
149
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,620
Ray, call me when you find a lead!
150
00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:40,720
I'll be somewhere in or on top of my
building, shooting tranquilizer darts at
151
00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:42,460
the world's shittiest pet.
152
00:06:42,530 --> 00:06:44,060
Told him when he bought it.
153
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,760
And I'm telling you these
reviews are mandatory, and
154
00:06:46,830 --> 00:06:48,950
- since I outrank you...
- Hang on, lemme check this
155
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,970
imaginary list of all the people I report to...
Doo doo doo doo dooooo...
156
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:54,600
Okay.
157
00:06:54,670 --> 00:06:55,300
What the hell is this?
158
00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:58,270
This, mustache on
a penis, is Rodney.
159
00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:02,410
And since there's only one name
on this list, you must be Ms. Archer.
160
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,680
Cleverly disguised as a large man.
161
00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:05,610
Meh-heh!
162
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,280
He's the new, whatever, gun librarian.
163
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:09,980
Armory supervisor.
164
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:11,550
Hooray, what's with the cage?
165
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:15,420
Oh, some wacky new thing the kids
are doing, called inventory control?
166
00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:19,990
Ms. Archer's pissed cause a buncha
guns and stuff keep going missing...
167
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,330
Oh, and lemme know
if you want a good deal on a
168
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,770
gallon of irradiated ants.
169
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:25,600
Well, whatever.
170
00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:28,000
I need some range time, so just
scuttle back into the tiny
171
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:30,440
little domain over which you
have power, and get me a
172
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,540
thousand rounds of nine mil, wadcutter.
173
00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:33,440
Absolutely.
174
00:07:33,510 --> 00:07:36,480
Just fill out these requisition
forms, in triplicate.
175
00:07:36,550 --> 00:07:36,980
Wh-?
176
00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:38,480
For a few lousy bullets?!
177
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:42,020
Well one, they're excellent bullets--
Are you gonna stand there,
178
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,890
in what I just assume are
two-inch lifts, and tell me
179
00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:48,660
Archer filled out your stupid forms
just to get a tranquilizer gun?
180
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:49,760
No I am not.
181
00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:50,190
Well?!
182
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:54,300
He filled them out to get,
doo doo dooooo, two H&K MP-five,
183
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,030
two thousand rounds ammunition
for same, twenty mark-two
184
00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:58,470
fragmentation grenade...
185
00:07:58,530 --> 00:07:59,030
Wait a minute...
186
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,300
Yeah, that lemur is hosed.
187
00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:04,040
Fourteen days survival
ration, two night vision goggle,
188
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:08,640
two each arctic camouflage parka
and pant, and, doo doo doo doooo,
189
00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:10,040
two pairs snowshoe.
190
00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,250
Son of a bitch!
191
00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:15,250
That phone call was --
Loooooooooooooooke!
192
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,320
Dude, I knew you faked your
death because a mole framed you
193
00:08:18,390 --> 00:08:20,090
for stealing that uranium!
194
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,190
Dude, that is such a relief, I was
worried they turned you against me.
195
00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:24,130
Are you kidding?
196
00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:28,060
Dude, bros before... apparent
threats to national security.
197
00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:29,930
Archer, you sure
you're up for this?
198
00:08:30,050 --> 00:08:31,690
Because this thing... it runs deep.
199
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,890
Dude, I love deep
Said your mom!
200
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,060
Haa!
201
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,060
Classic you!
202
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,690
Allright, GPS says I'll
be there in four hours.
203
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,690
Don't worry, Luke... I'm coming for you.
204
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:42,830
What was that?
205
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,180
Phrasing.
206
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,360
Nice!
207
00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:47,370
Queer!
208
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,800
Wait a -- oh my God, holy shit!
209
00:08:49,870 --> 00:08:51,370
No, Vermont has liquor stores.
210
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,690
Right?
211
00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:55,980
Yeah they have to, it sucks there.
212
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:00,800
Cyril, not now.
213
00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:03,040
What's the signal strength
on Archer's cellphone?
214
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,640
The doohickey says he's
about thirty minutes away.
215
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:08,380
And my point was, we could've
easily done it by now.
216
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,780
And my point, is that
pursuing a dangerous rogue
217
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:14,850
agent, isn't the optimal
time to do peer reviews!
218
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,720
Coulda done it ten times by now.
219
00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:18,850
God damn it fine frickin review me!
220
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,280
Section one, Team Dynamics.
221
00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:23,160
Question one, "Does
employee cooperate with..."
222
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:28,900
Oh. These are all "Strongly Disagree."
223
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,130
You --
Pussy!
224
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,700
Shut up, it went down wrong.
225
00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:36,140
Said your... oh.
226
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,800
Yeah, doesn't work there.
227
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,370
Mmmmokay, say
"Thanks for coming."
228
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:40,960
Nooope!
229
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:44,250
No, seriously, if anybody finds
out I helped you I'll be disavowed.
230
00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:44,880
I know.
231
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:46,080
Dude, I know.
232
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:46,750
Thank you.
233
00:09:46,810 --> 00:09:47,550
For...?
234
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:47,950
Nope.
235
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:48,880
God, what a dick.
236
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:49,880
Said your mom!
237
00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:50,450
Boom!
238
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:51,090
Dammit!
239
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:51,790
So easy...
240
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:52,890
Okay, I got an El Camino
241
00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:54,090
full of rampage here,
242
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,820
so what's the plan?
243
00:09:55,890 --> 00:09:58,890
Right, yes, okay, so, I know
it doesn't look like much now...
244
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,860
But it has tons of potential.
245
00:10:01,930 --> 00:10:06,070
As a... base of operations while
we track down the mole who framed
246
00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:09,900
you for murdering your colleagues and
selling uranium on the black market?
247
00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:11,040
No, asshole.
248
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,840
As a bed-and-breakfast.
249
00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:14,710
- Uhh...
- Twin Oaks.
250
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,610
You like that?
251
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:16,610
For the name?
252
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:19,080
Twin Oaks?
253
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,250
Seriously?
254
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:24,250
Yeah, according to the doohickey
it says Archer's in that direction --
255
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,590
Are you reading it wrong?
256
00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:26,980
Within two hundred meters.
257
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:28,260
I bet you're reading it wrong.
258
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,920
Section two, Interpersonal.
259
00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:33,460
"Does employee frequently
criticize oth --"
260
00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:35,800
Strongly agree.
261
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:36,930
Somewhat disagree?
262
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:37,930
Somewhat shut up.
263
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,130
Come on, we're going on
foot, through the woods.
264
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,070
I've got a bad feeling about this.
265
00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:44,940
I know, but imagine
it all fixed up!
266
00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:47,910
No, yeah, I mean obviously it's --
It's gonna be amazing,
267
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,580
dude, look at these floors!
268
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,480
That's heart of pine!
269
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:53,780
Yeah, so look --
Look at this mantelpiece!
270
00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:54,750
Mahogany!
271
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:55,950
There's another seven!
272
00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:59,050
Eight fireplaces, dude,
how nuts is that?!
273
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,920
- Pretty nuts...
- Said your mom!
274
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:06,230
Yeahhh... so, um, about
un-framing you for treason and murder...
275
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:09,960
Yeah, I dunno, man, it kinda
seems like what's the point, you know?
276
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,770
I don't, actually.
277
00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:13,930
C'mon, there's too much evidence!
278
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,200
- I mean it's all fake, obviously, but...
- Exactly!
279
00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:18,270
Dude, there's a mole in your agency!
280
00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:19,240
We gotta catch him!
281
00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:20,470
But then what?
282
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:24,410
Then there's another mole, or a
double agent, on and on, it's
283
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,180
all just secrets and lies, man!
284
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,320
Yeah, it's espionage.
285
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:31,450
I can't go back to that
world, man, I'm too tired.
286
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:35,360
Hopefully that's just neurological
damage from scraping lead paint...
287
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:35,990
No, it's --
288
00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:36,980
Because turning
289
00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:37,990
the Munsters' house into a B&B
290
00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:41,230
is an insane response to your situation!
291
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:44,700
It'd be cheaper to build a brand
new house out of actual money!
292
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,130
Yeah, I know it'll cost
a fortune to fix her up,
293
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,640
but money's not a problem.
294
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,840
Why, wait, why
is money not a problem?
295
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:56,140
And my situation, is anyone who
could hurt me thinks I'm already dead.
296
00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:58,980
I -- wait, and
who was in the plane?
297
00:11:59,050 --> 00:11:59,350
Hm?
298
00:11:59,410 --> 00:12:05,020
I said who was in the goddamn--
No no no no, what the hell?!
299
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:06,490
How could you not see that?!
300
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:09,560
Because I only have two eyes, and
they were busy looking for hunters!
301
00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:12,030
Why, is it pumpkin season?!
302
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:13,560
Is that a thing?!
303
00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:15,110
Archer, were you followed here?
304
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,960
Wow, okay, a little insulting.
305
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:21,030
I think I know how to spot a tail, so --
Is your... phone on?!
306
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,070
Wh-? No!
307
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:28,040
Jesus, what kind of... wallpaper
are you thinking about?
308
00:12:28,110 --> 00:12:32,010
Because how about a textile?
309
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,010
Lana, listen.
310
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,350
No, you listen!
311
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,650
We're --
312
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,090
Ha ha haa! Leave it!
313
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:42,760
The voice mailbox of...
314
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:43,560
Is full.
315
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,260
Goodbye.
316
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:50,100
Why is Lana Kane -- and is that
the geeky little accountant dude?!
317
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,030
-- attempting to breach my perimeter?!
318
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:55,770
I honestly don't know, but
why are -- you doing that?
319
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,000
Because they are a threat .
No they're not!
320
00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,070
To our future together.
321
00:12:59,140 --> 00:13:01,070
Especially not Cyril!
322
00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:03,880
He's -- wait, I'm sorry,
whose future together?
323
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,080
Yours and mine, dumbass.
324
00:13:06,150 --> 00:13:07,450
You lost me.
325
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,080
No, Archer, I thought I had--
No, yeah, you did.
326
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:11,690
but then you came back to me.
327
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,450
Don't take this the wrong way?
328
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:17,090
But I'm getting an extremely gay vibe.
329
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:17,520
Wh-?
330
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:19,590
Jesus, dude, I'm not gay!
331
00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:21,090
I --
For other men!
332
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,100
Lost me again.
333
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,260
I can't really explain it?
334
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:26,030
I mean, you know me, I've banged
more hot chicks than I've
335
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:30,370
had hot dinners, but...
There's just something about you.
336
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,040
That... makes you gay for me?
337
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,750
Well, I don't
really like that word?
338
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,710
Well sorry, I
didn't invent English.
339
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:38,910
It's more like... a
singular samesex attraction.
340
00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:44,120
- Can I, um, my head's kinda spinning...
- I know, this is a lot to process.
341
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,990
No, literally.
342
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:47,420
Well, figuratively.
343
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:51,390
- If it was literally...
- The wine...you drugged the wine?
344
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:54,730
Yeah, sorry, I thought you might
freak out when I told you all this.
345
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:59,670
- Pfff, sunnersannable, I'd do me...
- And also when I told you I
346
00:13:59,730 --> 00:14:03,570
actually did steal the uranium
and murder my fellow agents.
347
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,440
- You dick...
- To fund our life together, dude!
348
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:09,940
Which will start right after I
go murder your fellow agents.
349
00:14:10,010 --> 00:14:12,070
Way way way way, hang on.
350
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:15,580
You had same wine, how you not get drug?
351
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,330
Coated the inside of the glass.
352
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:18,720
Heh!
353
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,320
Classic you!
354
00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:27,390
Well this is a frickin disaster!
355
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,220
I know.
356
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:32,230
When Ron said we were going on a
cruise, I almost vomited blood.
357
00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:35,020
No. Nobody's doing
their peer reviews!
358
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,920
Pam, the word "disaster"
359
00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:39,190
implies it's something
that actually matters.
360
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,490
It matters to me!
361
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,360
Well, but you don't.
362
00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:44,990
Well then maybe instead of
doing my job I'll go hang out
363
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:48,000
in Vermont with Luke Troy
and all the other assholes!
364
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:49,600
What?!
365
00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:50,730
Oops.
366
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,870
Trace Sterling's phone, and
scramble every available field agent!
367
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,640
I want them all converging
on his location!
368
00:14:56,710 --> 00:14:59,370
- They... kinda already are...
- There's only like
369
00:14:59,440 --> 00:14:59,870
two of 'em.
370
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,910
So why are these damn
peer reviews so hard?!
371
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:09,080
Only like ten people work in this
whole goddamn chickenshit outfit!
372
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:09,750
Sorry.
373
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:10,740
Don't be.
374
00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:12,850
It is a chickenshit outfit.
375
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,290
Look, for your information?
376
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:18,230
Blaze orange is the safest color to wear
to avoid being accidentally shot at.
377
00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:22,200
What about intentionally shot at?!
378
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:26,930
- Oh man, this is almost too easy...
- Oh for -- seriously?!
379
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,770
Yeah, gotta give 'em a head start.
380
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:35,310
One Sterling Archer, two Sterling Archer...
Ooh, Sterling Archer-Troy.
381
00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:37,110
We can take each other's names.
382
00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:39,710
I'd be --
Luuuuke!
383
00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:42,250
C'mon, you're not thinking straight!
384
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:47,890
A, you wildly underestimated my
liver's ability to metabolize toxins!
385
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:52,290
And B, why would you possibly have these?
386
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,260
Because I'm not the idiot
who took his idiot clothes off!
387
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,730
Just your jacket,
c'mon, I'm freezing!
388
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:58,800
No!
389
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:03,800
I am gonna give you the worst
peer review in the history of... them!
390
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,110
Hey, Lana!
391
00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:07,940
Where's Archer?!
392
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:08,810
Did you kill him?!
393
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:09,910
He's fine.
394
00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:11,150
Unlike your aim.
395
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:13,150
Guess you never learned
how to shoot, huh?
396
00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:13,810
What?!
397
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:14,680
First of all!
398
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:15,420
Shitass!
399
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:16,750
Or take criticism.
400
00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:17,820
Strongly agree.
401
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:19,350
And from where?
402
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:20,790
Under.
403
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:21,120
Wear.
404
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:22,820
What was it we used to call you?
405
00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:23,820
Truckasaurus?
406
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:24,690
Cyril?
407
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:28,030
No, it was...
oh yeah, Spray-and-Pray!
408
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:30,530
Dammit!
409
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,200
We also called you Shirley Temper.
410
00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:33,470
Uh, Cyril?
411
00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:35,140
Which, ya know, lame.
412
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,900
But accurate.
413
00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:39,840
Again, unlike your aim.
414
00:16:39,910 --> 00:16:42,010
Which is why I always thought
it was weird that you only ever
415
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,840
carried two magazines.
416
00:16:43,910 --> 00:16:46,850
Section three,
Organization Skills!
417
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:47,250
Cyril!
418
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,080
"Employee is often
unprepared for important meetings!"
419
00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:51,850
Strongly agree!
420
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,850
You left your gun
in a pile of clothes!
421
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,360
Because I had nowhere to put it!
422
00:16:55,420 --> 00:17:00,030
And yet you found room for a
twentypage wad of Pam's stupid peer review!
423
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,730
It's important to her!
424
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:07,840
Okay, so... Don't really
know what to make of that.
425
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:11,310
Unless... Wait, no, get
it out of your head.
426
00:17:11,370 --> 00:17:14,680
Predator only hunts in tropical jungles.
427
00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:15,910
I assume.
428
00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:17,850
And desperately hope.
429
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,880
Dammit!
430
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:24,720
Well?!
431
00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:26,190
Have you found Sterling?!
432
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:27,900
Well his phone's in this house.
433
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,390
It's about twenty miles north of
Bennington, so I assume it's a B&B.
434
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,890
Well, you would know.
435
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,430
And if you want to keep those teeth,
missy, you won't suck them at me!
436
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:39,400
- You know...
- Shut up, have you tried calling him?!
437
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,370
Ha ha haa! Leave it!
438
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:43,900
Yes.
439
00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:46,370
- The voice mailbox of...
- You could've just said
440
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,540
so, you little -- Alright!
441
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,510
I swear to God, you people?
442
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:52,300
Just say the
word on the nerve gas.
443
00:17:52,350 --> 00:17:57,850
Feel like I owe you a freebie after
the whole ant-Krieger thing.
444
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,920
I can't, go anymore, can't do it.
445
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:02,920
Section Four, Running.
446
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:05,330
Employee sucks ass at it.
447
00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:06,690
Strongly agree.
448
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:07,900
Lana?!
449
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:08,930
Little geek dude?!
450
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:14,370
My only regret, is I won't, get
to turn this in, because it is scathing.
451
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,940
That can't possibly,
be your only regret.
452
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:18,770
Well there's dating you.
453
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:22,040
Actually no, that was... far and away the
best thing that ever happened to me.
454
00:18:22,110 --> 00:18:26,510
So as much as I'd like to, I don't
think now's an optimal time for that.
455
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:28,620
Aww, really?
456
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,090
- I mean, if you think we have time...
- Cyril!
457
00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:31,650
Ahh!
458
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:32,950
Yeah we don't have time!
459
00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:34,960
Not for this, dickbrain.
460
00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:35,660
For that.
461
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,560
What, what is... oh. Ohh, okay!
462
00:18:39,630 --> 00:18:40,550
But do get naked.
463
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,430
Panties too.
464
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,960
Yeah, they're called briefs?
465
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:45,830
Yeah, you're a grown man?
466
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,970
Yeah, that's our Lana.
467
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:52,110
Let's see, so judging from the shell
ejection she was firing at...
468
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:55,140
What I really hope was not an ent.
469
00:18:55,210 --> 00:18:58,850
Because that is like the
last thing we need.
470
00:18:58,910 --> 00:18:59,980
An entmoot.
471
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:03,420
Oh my God what if I'm gay for Tolkien?
472
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:04,120
Dude.
473
00:19:04,190 --> 00:19:06,790
Seriously, not that it's gonna
matter in thirty seconds...
474
00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:08,120
But what is your problem?
475
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:11,590
- Well, besides Lana ditching me...
- For what, an entmoot?
476
00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:13,760
Ya know, cause she's got
those big-ass tree-hands?
477
00:19:13,830 --> 00:19:16,100
I'd have to go with hypothermia.
478
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,430
- Well, I know a cure for that...
- Oh my God, not in my face!
479
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:21,640
Said your mom, BOOM!
480
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:24,140
Sorry, that's terrible to
hear that right before you...
481
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:25,940
What in the... hell... is...?
482
00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:27,510
Well, you know what they say.
483
00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:30,010
Big hands... Big dick.
484
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,010
Noooooooooo!
485
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:35,620
- Ew.
- Gross.
486
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:36,280
Luke?!
487
00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:36,850
Archer?!
488
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,320
Shut up, Luke?!
489
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:39,320
Archer?
490
00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:40,820
Oh dude, is it bad?
491
00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:43,760
There's a... kind of
a lot of blood down there.
492
00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:45,030
Said your mom.
493
00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:46,160
Oh my God, I'm sorry.
494
00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:47,030
Seriously.
495
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,560
No, for everything.
496
00:19:48,630 --> 00:19:53,170
The uranium, killing my fellow
agents, that hobo I set on fire
497
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:56,700
after I paid him to get his teeth
drilled to match my dental records?
498
00:19:56,770 --> 00:19:58,170
Jesus, the dentist?
499
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,540
God damn, dude.
500
00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:01,410
I know.
501
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,880
But I only did it because I wanted
us to be together, forever.
502
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:05,350
Called it.
503
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:07,350
I've loved you
since the day we met.
504
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:12,650
So mostly I'm sorry for... remember
that training mission in the D.R.?
505
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,390
Uh... yeah, tap-and-trace
on the Cuban embassy.
506
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,530
Then we got shit-housed on mamajuana.
507
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:21,730
And then you
passed out in your room.
508
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,030
Um... yeah...
509
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:25,730
Well, after you
510
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,070
passed out, I --
511
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:27,870
Luke?
512
00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:29,070
If you really do love me?
513
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,070
You know I do.
514
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:32,340
Then please don't
finish that sentence.
515
00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:32,940
Dude.
516
00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:34,130
It's my deathbed confession.
517
00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:35,220
C'mon, I'm dying.
518
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:38,650
Well I'm not, so please, don't --
After you passed out.
519
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,550
I snuck into your room with a
big bottle of suntan oil, put
520
00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:48,260
- on some Al Green, and...
- Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
521
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:03,040
Can we have the radio?
522
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:07,640
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37959
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
