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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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-(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
- And welcome back to
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The Available Guy
with Tad Tucker.
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The show where me, Tad Tucker,
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tries to find love
among a group
of insanely jealous women.
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I've already given koala
roses
to Kendra and Brittany.
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BOTH: Ooh!
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And now, I must decide
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who gets tonight's
last koala rose,
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Theresa or Jennifer.
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(BOTH GIGGLING)
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- Theresa...
-(GASPS)
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...will you accept
this koala rose?
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Oh, yes, I do. I do!
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- Our trip to the Great Wall
of China was amazing.
- Mmm!
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-(GASPS)
- It truly is one of
the Wonders of the World.
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-(KISSING)
-(MOANING)
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And so am I!
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Sorry, Jenn, babe,
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our hot air balloon date
was hotter than hot
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but I was disappointed
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that you refused
to eat the rabbit entree
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that I cooked you for dinner.
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I just can't see myself
ever being with a girl
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who can't eat
an entire family of rabbits.
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Sweet... (SUCKS FINGER)
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Delicious... (SUCKS FINGER)
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Defenseless... (SUCKS FINGER)
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...rabbits.
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- Let's go, Theresa.
-(GIGGLING)
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Fortunately, you girls
love eating rabbits,
don't you?
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All right, now,
who's ready for Hawaii?
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(ALL CHEERING)
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Hawaii, huh?
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Let's make sure it's a date
they'll never forget.
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(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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-(TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
- It's my first night
here in Hawaii
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and I feel I need to know
Kendra a little better.
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I've decided to set up a fire
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and have a lobster boil
here on the beach.
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- Kendra, welcome
to my beachfront paradise.
-(LAUGHING)
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(GROWLS)
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- Oh, Tad, you are so...
- Handsome?
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Ha! It's not the first time
someone's told me that.
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Let me get you
a sparkling cider.
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Here we go...
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Ah! (CHOKING)
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It burns!
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Get me a towel, quick!
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Oh, thanks, Kendra.
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Ouch! What the...
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(SCREAMING) Ow! Ahh! Ahh!
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- Kendra!
-(SCREAMS)
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Get them off me!
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-(THUDDING)
- You're not...
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...hitting the lobsters!
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You're hitting...
(SCREAMS IN PAIN)
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(WHIMPERS)...my face!
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(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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Morning! My date with Kendra
didn't end up like I'd hoped.
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I feel like we didn't connect
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as often as that oar
connected to my face.
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So let's see how I do
with Theresa zip-lining.
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Theresa,
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I admire your courage
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to join me on this
exciting leap of faith.
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- You first.
- Gee, we're awfully high up.
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- Kendra did it.
-(NERVOUSLY) Okay.
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Whee!
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(ZIP-LINE SLIDING)
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And now it's my turn.
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(WHOOPING)
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(GROANS)
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I appear to be stuck
smack dab in the middle.
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(SCREAMS)
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Oh, no! Oh!
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(ALLIGATORS HISSING)
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-(SAWING)
-(BLOWS)
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TAD: Ah! Not the face!
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(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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Good evening.
After watching me
get attacked by alligators,
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Theresa has decided
to leave the show,
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which only makes
my choice that much easier.
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So today I've got
a snorkeling date
with Brittany.
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It's been great exploring
this coral reef with you,
Brittany.
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I'm really starting
to feel a connection.
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(KISSING)
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Shark!
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Eat her first!
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She's got more meat
on her bones!
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Excuse me?
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(GASPS) What's this?
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A remote-controlled shark fin.
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(CHUCKLES) Well, I...
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How dare you try
to feed me to a shark.
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And I do not have
more meat on my bones!
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-(GRUNTS)
-(GROANS)
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Okay, I deserve that.
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Oh, no.
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You're not gonna
fool me this time.
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-(ROARS)
-(SCREAMS)
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(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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Today's the big day.
I've decided that...
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(FRIGHTENED) Lobsters?
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...ask one of the girls...
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(FRIGHTENED) Gators?
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...to marry me.
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(FRIGHTENED) Sharks?
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I wanted to make the proposal
to Kendra perfect.
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That's why I've got
rose petals, cologne,
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and scented candles.
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You see, if you want romance,
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you need to create ambience.
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-(SPRAYS)
-(SNIFFS)
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(SCREAMS) My whole suit
smells like skunk!
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While that washes
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I'll just freshen up
with a quick shower.
(GRUNTS)
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♪ I'm so hungry
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♪ I could eata family of rabbits
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♪ Not one, not two rabbits
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♪ But five
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♪ Five makesa family of rabbits ♪
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Oh, my suit's shrunk!
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Oh! (GRUNTING)
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Remember, folks,
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he ate
an entire family of rabbits.
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Not one, not two, but five.
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Five makes a family.
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-(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
- Coming, my love.
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(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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Hello, Kendra.
Come on in.
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My goodness, you're...
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Ew. You've got something
on your face!
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Uh, you've got
something on your face!
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Well, it looks worse
on your face.
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(GASPS)
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(EXHALES) Oh, no!
It's the roses!
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They're poison ivy!
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(BOTH SCREAMING)
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(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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- Kendra?
- KENDRA: You're on fire!
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Dirty dingoes!
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(SCREAMING)
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-(GASPS)
- Don't worry, folks,
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there's still love
waiting for Tad.
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(SCREAMS)
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Unfortunately, she's
a real man-eater.
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(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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(FRENCH CAFE MUSIC PLAYING)
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(EXPLODING)
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(SNAPS FINGERS)
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(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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(GLASS SHATTERS)
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(SPRAYS)
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(SLAPS)
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(SPRAYS)
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(DISHES CLATTERING)
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(DISHES SHATTERING)
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(SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING)
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(METAL CLANGING)
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(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
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(CAMERA CLICKS)
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(ALL CHEERING)
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(SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING)
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(SLAPS)
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(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
11195
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