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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,072
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:30,177 --> 00:00:32,011
(door bangs in distance)
3
00:00:42,189 --> 00:00:43,389
(Ryan whistles)
4
00:00:43,473 --> 00:00:44,857
Here, boy.
5
00:00:50,113 --> 00:00:53,682
(Wilfred moaning)
6
00:00:56,686 --> 00:00:59,872
(Wilfred panting, grunting)
7
00:01:06,913 --> 00:01:08,881
(grunting continues)
8
00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:15,588
(screaming)
9
00:01:15,672 --> 00:01:17,506
Ryan! Ryan, help me!
10
00:01:17,557 --> 00:01:19,975
Water! Water!
11
00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:21,010
(screaming continues)
12
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,667
Oh!
13
00:01:28,718 --> 00:01:30,335
Oh...!
14
00:01:31,638 --> 00:01:33,355
Oh...
15
00:01:34,641 --> 00:01:35,975
Oh.
16
00:01:38,011 --> 00:01:42,537
Oh, man, my penis is in
bad shape right now.
17
00:01:42,933 --> 00:01:44,617
I can barely stand up straight.
18
00:01:44,684 --> 00:01:48,537
That glory hole
shit out there...
19
00:01:48,622 --> 00:01:52,024
that... was... beautiful.
20
00:01:54,377 --> 00:01:58,130
Pussy without a name
or face or personality
21
00:01:58,198 --> 00:02:00,583
is the perfect kind of pussy.
22
00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:03,252
I think Anne wants to move out.
23
00:02:03,336 --> 00:02:04,803
Really?
24
00:02:04,871 --> 00:02:08,040
Well, I have managed
to lick off every morsel
25
00:02:08,091 --> 00:02:10,726
of biological detritus
her body has to offer.
26
00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:12,178
So maybe it's time.
27
00:02:12,229 --> 00:02:13,896
No, it sucks.
28
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,648
We get along great.
29
00:02:15,715 --> 00:02:17,650
She hasn't threatened
my relationship with you,
30
00:02:17,717 --> 00:02:20,069
plus her rent has given me
the time to figure out
31
00:02:20,153 --> 00:02:22,271
what I actually want
to do with my life.
32
00:02:22,355 --> 00:02:23,822
Now I'm gonna feel
all this pressure
33
00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:25,441
to get a job right away.
34
00:02:25,525 --> 00:02:28,393
You know, sometimes
pressure's a good thing.
35
00:02:28,445 --> 00:02:30,496
I've been pressured into
every job I've ever had.
36
00:02:30,563 --> 00:02:32,731
I'm just gonna end up
doing something I hate.
37
00:02:32,782 --> 00:02:35,951
Okay, so we already know
you don't want to be
38
00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:37,419
an evil-type lawyer again.
39
00:02:37,504 --> 00:02:39,288
So let's start from there.
40
00:02:39,372 --> 00:02:42,258
Wait-- I thought you hated
the idea of me getting a job.
41
00:02:42,342 --> 00:02:43,909
Under normal
circumstances, sure.
42
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,427
But you're stuck in a rut.
43
00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:46,845
And I'm worried about you.
44
00:02:46,913 --> 00:02:48,464
True or false?
45
00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:51,183
Last Wednesday, you went online
and purchased a Lego
46
00:02:51,251 --> 00:02:53,385
do-it-yourself medieval
market village.
47
00:02:53,436 --> 00:02:56,605
So what?
Legos are not for adults!
48
00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:58,557
I canceled the order.
49
00:02:58,608 --> 00:03:01,110
All you do is sit around
and sleep and eat.
50
00:03:01,194 --> 00:03:04,563
Yeah, and I also roll around
in goose shit.
51
00:03:04,614 --> 00:03:06,334
Look, I'm already in touch
with a recruiter.
52
00:03:06,366 --> 00:03:07,933
I'm gonna set up a meeting
right now.
53
00:03:07,984 --> 00:03:10,119
If you're on
the Legos Web site,
54
00:03:10,203 --> 00:03:12,204
you are a creepy
man-child.
55
00:03:13,907 --> 00:03:15,241
(Ryan laughing)
56
00:03:15,292 --> 00:03:16,492
Oh, you're burning down!
57
00:03:16,576 --> 00:03:17,776
That was awesome!
58
00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:19,712
Oh, my God.
You were right.
59
00:03:19,779 --> 00:03:22,081
Those fitness games I was
playing are boring as shit
60
00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:24,449
compared to "The Haunted
Catacombs of Gjorganthaal."
61
00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:25,784
See?!
What?
62
00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:27,386
Wait-- why are you pausing it?
63
00:03:27,453 --> 00:03:29,014
Didn't you have
to be somewhere at 2:00?
64
00:03:29,089 --> 00:03:31,009
Yeah, I was supposed to meet
with this recruiter,
65
00:03:31,091 --> 00:03:32,591
but I rescheduled it.
66
00:03:32,642 --> 00:03:34,459
My r?sum? needs some tweaking
67
00:03:34,511 --> 00:03:35,644
I hope you didn't reschedule it
for Monday,
68
00:03:35,729 --> 00:03:36,769
because I have a surprise.
69
00:03:36,813 --> 00:03:38,463
I'm treating us to massages.
70
00:03:38,515 --> 00:03:40,632
It's just a thank you
for being my date
71
00:03:40,684 --> 00:03:42,005
to Erica's dinner party
last week.
72
00:03:42,068 --> 00:03:43,519
It would have been super
depressing being
73
00:03:43,603 --> 00:03:45,354
the only single person there.
74
00:03:45,438 --> 00:03:47,189
Yeah, I'm-I'm not sure I can...
Now don't worry!
75
00:03:47,274 --> 00:03:48,607
I'm still working the
Internet dating sites.
76
00:03:48,658 --> 00:03:50,378
And as soon as I find
a guy who's not making
77
00:03:50,443 --> 00:03:52,077
that annoying squinty sex face
78
00:03:52,145 --> 00:03:53,579
in his profile picture,
you're off the hook.
79
00:03:53,646 --> 00:03:55,147
No, no, no, it's not that.
80
00:03:55,198 --> 00:03:56,648
I just don't think
I can make the massage.
81
00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:58,701
I should probably stick
with this job hunt for a while
82
00:03:58,785 --> 00:03:59,702
until I get something.
83
00:03:59,786 --> 00:04:01,503
Really? Bummer.
84
00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:05,040
Kind of enjoyed being
"funemployed" together.
85
00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:07,426
Yeah, well, I found out
Anne's looking for a new place.
86
00:04:07,493 --> 00:04:09,878
And there's no way I can pay
the bills without her rent.
87
00:04:09,963 --> 00:04:11,463
Why is she leaving?
88
00:04:11,514 --> 00:04:13,716
You haven't asked her?
89
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,668
If I were you, I'd do whatever
it takes to keep her there.
90
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,437
You're right.
91
00:04:18,504 --> 00:04:20,939
I'll talk to her.
92
00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:24,943
Oh. Good morning.
93
00:04:25,011 --> 00:04:27,313
Hey.
94
00:04:27,364 --> 00:04:30,115
So, um...
95
00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:34,703
I-I-I don't know how to
ask this without asking.
96
00:04:34,788 --> 00:04:37,122
Are-Are you thinking
of moving out?
97
00:04:37,190 --> 00:04:41,026
(sighs) Okay, I was gonna
tell you eventually.
98
00:04:41,077 --> 00:04:43,245
You know how my boyfriend's
99
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:45,414
in jail for head butting
his aunt?
100
00:04:45,498 --> 00:04:47,633
I-I didn't know those details.
101
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:49,385
Well, before he got sentenced,
102
00:04:49,469 --> 00:04:52,371
he made this, like, investment
for when he got out.
103
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,139
He bought this purebred
English bulldog
104
00:04:54,207 --> 00:04:55,841
to start a breeding business.
105
00:04:55,892 --> 00:04:59,511
His mom's watching Phil,
that's the dog's name,
106
00:04:59,562 --> 00:05:03,015
but she's moving to Boston,
so offered to take the dog.
107
00:05:03,066 --> 00:05:04,650
And I just figured
with Wilfred around,
108
00:05:04,717 --> 00:05:08,153
two dogs in the house
would just make your life crazy.
109
00:05:08,221 --> 00:05:10,272
No! No, no, no!
Not at all.
110
00:05:10,357 --> 00:05:11,890
Really?
111
00:05:11,941 --> 00:05:13,442
Seriously, it's not a problem.
112
00:05:13,526 --> 00:05:16,111
Phil is totally welcome
to come live here.
113
00:05:16,196 --> 00:05:19,698
(laughs) Oh, my God,
that is so awesome!
114
00:05:19,749 --> 00:05:21,200
If I didn't have a boyfriend,
115
00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:22,918
I would totally suck
your nuts right now.
116
00:05:23,002 --> 00:05:25,671
(chuckles weakly)
117
00:05:25,738 --> 00:05:27,506
So, just when I finally
neutralized
118
00:05:27,573 --> 00:05:29,208
the Jelly Beans threat,
119
00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:31,576
you invite this bulldog
to come and live with us?!
120
00:05:31,628 --> 00:05:33,629
There's only so much dog poon
to go around!
121
00:05:33,713 --> 00:05:35,964
And you know this Phil guy's
gonna be creeping up
122
00:05:36,049 --> 00:05:37,466
on the neighborhood glory hole!
123
00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:39,134
That shit is locals only!
124
00:05:39,219 --> 00:05:41,637
It's, like, go back
to the Val, kook!
125
00:05:41,721 --> 00:05:43,761
Wilfred, you don't even live
here-- you're my guest.
126
00:05:43,773 --> 00:05:45,257
Anne has a right
to have guests, too.
127
00:05:50,647 --> 00:05:51,864
What the hell are you doing?!
128
00:05:51,931 --> 00:05:53,598
Drawing a line in the sand.
129
00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:56,285
Phil can stay on his side,
I'll stay on my side.
130
00:05:56,369 --> 00:05:57,936
Wilfred, stop!
131
00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:00,823
Fine. Then I suppose
I'll have to resort
132
00:06:00,907 --> 00:06:02,274
to more drastic measures.
133
00:06:04,544 --> 00:06:06,545
Wait-- what are you gonna do?
134
00:06:06,612 --> 00:06:08,130
I'm gonna get my squeaky ball
135
00:06:08,214 --> 00:06:09,915
and leave it on
the living room floor
136
00:06:09,966 --> 00:06:12,167
where Phil can see it.
137
00:06:12,252 --> 00:06:14,553
Then, when our little friend
goes to play with it,
138
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:15,921
I'll simply...
139
00:06:15,972 --> 00:06:19,291
snatch... it... back.
140
00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:22,961
Guess I can't stop you.
141
00:06:23,012 --> 00:06:26,465
(sing-songy):
Welcome to your new home!
142
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:27,733
Hey.
143
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,319
So this must be Phil.
144
00:06:30,403 --> 00:06:31,820
Why is he wearing a diaper?
145
00:06:31,905 --> 00:06:33,272
Phil's short for "Phyllis."
146
00:06:34,307 --> 00:06:35,574
So...
147
00:06:35,641 --> 00:06:37,142
She's in heat right now.
148
00:06:37,193 --> 00:06:38,494
Sorry. I didn't know
till I picked her up.
149
00:06:38,578 --> 00:06:41,780
So we should keep her
and Wilfred apart.
150
00:06:41,831 --> 00:06:43,415
You know how crazy
male dogs get
151
00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:45,167
when they smell
a bitch in heat. (scoffs)
152
00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:47,169
Is this still cool with you?
153
00:06:47,253 --> 00:06:49,588
'Cause if not, I can totally...
154
00:06:49,655 --> 00:06:50,956
What? No, no, no, no!
155
00:06:51,007 --> 00:06:53,375
Of course, it's totally cool.
156
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:56,462
Thanks. I really appreciate
this, Ryan.
157
00:06:56,513 --> 00:06:58,013
Don't worry about it.
158
00:06:58,097 --> 00:07:00,015
Like I said, it won't be
a problem at all.
159
00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:04,887
Oh, my God...
160
00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:06,772
she's beautiful, Ryan.
161
00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:09,525
Sculpted by
the hands of angels.
162
00:07:09,609 --> 00:07:11,477
You didn't even see her.
163
00:07:11,528 --> 00:07:13,395
I didn't have to.
164
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,448
(inhales deeply)
165
00:07:16,516 --> 00:07:17,733
I'm in love.
166
00:07:17,817 --> 00:07:18,984
(laughs)
167
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:27,682
(playing gentle melody)
168
00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:30,835
I know
it might sound foolish
169
00:07:30,886 --> 00:07:35,056
When I write
to you this song
170
00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:38,810
But the rings of love
from heaven
171
00:07:38,861 --> 00:07:42,981
Washed away all
that was wrong
172
00:07:43,032 --> 00:07:47,368
Because looking at you
is like drinking a moonbeam
173
00:07:47,453 --> 00:07:51,072
In the darkness
of my lonely night
174
00:07:51,156 --> 00:07:55,159
And the sun from your heart
is shining down on me, baby
175
00:07:55,211 --> 00:07:57,212
All right?
176
00:07:57,296 --> 00:08:00,665
And I'm dreaming of you
tonight.
177
00:08:03,919 --> 00:08:06,446
(plays flourish, song ends)
178
00:08:09,883 --> 00:08:12,932
Sorry; the music just kind
of poured out of me.
179
00:08:13,271 --> 00:08:15,022
I guess that's what happens
180
00:08:15,073 --> 00:08:16,547
when love slaps you around
like a little ho.
181
00:08:16,631 --> 00:08:18,498
I can't wait
for Phyllis to hear it.
182
00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:20,384
It's not gonna happen, Wilfred.
183
00:08:20,451 --> 00:08:24,171
Look, I know you're worried,
'cause now I'm in love,
184
00:08:24,255 --> 00:08:25,672
we're not gonna hang out
as much.
185
00:08:25,757 --> 00:08:27,975
But you've always been
my best friend.
186
00:08:28,059 --> 00:08:32,646
Which is why I'd like
you to have this.
187
00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:34,231
It's my little black book.
188
00:08:34,298 --> 00:08:36,566
I won't be needing it anymore.
189
00:08:38,569 --> 00:08:40,270
Are these urine stains?
190
00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:43,523
Contact information
from my former slut stable.
191
00:08:43,608 --> 00:08:45,475
I was a different dog then.
192
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,527
Which reminds me.
193
00:08:47,612 --> 00:08:50,530
I no longer have any use...
194
00:08:50,615 --> 00:08:53,533
for my vampire dick sucker.
195
00:08:53,618 --> 00:08:56,837
Oh, Fangsy, we really had
ourselves quite a time.
196
00:09:01,676 --> 00:09:04,661
(sniffs)
Where is Phyllis?
197
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,996
Locked up in Anne's room,
where you can't get to her.
198
00:09:07,048 --> 00:09:11,000
Ryan, no door can stand
in the way of love.
199
00:09:11,052 --> 00:09:13,520
Unless it's, like, a door-door.
200
00:09:13,604 --> 00:09:15,222
Does it have a doorknob?
201
00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:17,107
Dude!
202
00:09:17,174 --> 00:09:18,809
Wilfred, you're not in love.
203
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:20,727
You're just responding
to her pheromones.
204
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:22,512
And you're just
tearing us apart,
205
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,815
so you can keep Anne
as a cash cow.
206
00:09:24,866 --> 00:09:27,067
Phyllis is in heat, and you're
an unneutered male dog.
207
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:28,819
You could get her pregnant.
208
00:09:28,870 --> 00:09:30,787
And the only litter
that she's supposed to have
209
00:09:30,855 --> 00:09:32,155
is with another
purebred bulldog.
210
00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:35,959
Are you saying that my moonbeam
and the darkness
211
00:09:36,026 --> 00:09:38,829
of my lonely night
is promised to another?
212
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,831
Sort of.
Anne's boyfriend's a breeder.
213
00:09:40,882 --> 00:09:42,582
But that's insane!
214
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:45,001
If it's another bulldog,
then he could be her brother
215
00:09:45,053 --> 00:09:47,471
or her cousin
or a distant uncle at best!
216
00:09:47,538 --> 00:09:49,139
How would you feel
217
00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:50,757
if that's how humans
were forced to procreate?!
218
00:09:50,842 --> 00:09:54,594
It's different.
We're human.
219
00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,229
Okay, may-maybe... maybe
that came out wrong.
220
00:09:56,314 --> 00:09:57,397
You're a Nazi!
221
00:09:57,482 --> 00:09:58,932
You're a goddamn Nazi!
222
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,768
Don't you even try
to get between us, Ryan.
223
00:10:01,853 --> 00:10:04,488
You can't stop love!
224
00:10:04,555 --> 00:10:06,907
Love is a freight train
comin' down the track
225
00:10:06,991 --> 00:10:09,192
You can't stop it
'cause you can't
226
00:10:09,243 --> 00:10:11,745
Turn your back on love
227
00:10:11,829 --> 00:10:14,831
Love is a wrecking ball!
228
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:23,924
Oh, Phyllis,
229
00:10:24,008 --> 00:10:25,792
your kisses taste so sweet
230
00:10:25,877 --> 00:10:28,595
and your pores smell
like corn chips.
231
00:10:39,423 --> 00:10:42,142
Oh, my deep tissue is thanking
232
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:43,727
the shit out of you right now.
233
00:10:43,778 --> 00:10:45,645
Glad you found it relaxing.
234
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:48,198
By the way, you two make
a really cute couple.
235
00:10:48,265 --> 00:10:49,599
Oh.
236
00:10:51,953 --> 00:10:53,370
Why did you tell the
masseuse we're a couple?
237
00:10:53,437 --> 00:10:54,621
'Cause the couple's massage came
238
00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,907
with a free bottle of wine.
239
00:11:00,411 --> 00:11:02,712
(sniffing)
240
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,085
So, how'd it go with Anne?
241
00:11:09,137 --> 00:11:10,337
Great.
242
00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:11,671
I talked to her like you said
243
00:11:11,756 --> 00:11:13,056
and we worked everything out.
244
00:11:13,123 --> 00:11:15,291
To "funemployment."
245
00:11:15,343 --> 00:11:16,510
So what do you want
to do tonight?
246
00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,061
Korean barbeque or we...
247
00:11:18,128 --> 00:11:19,930
Oh, shit.
Is it Monday?
248
00:11:19,981 --> 00:11:22,182
(groans) I'm supposed to go
with Jessica to a party tonight
249
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:25,134
at some rich
ophthalmologist's house.
250
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:27,226
I guess it's remotely possible
I could meet someone.
251
00:11:27,238 --> 00:11:29,272
No worries.
We'll hang out later.
252
00:11:29,323 --> 00:11:31,942
I'm gonna get dressed and
head home for a long nap.
253
00:11:37,665 --> 00:11:40,316
So, how are you feeling today?
254
00:11:40,368 --> 00:11:42,118
It's weird.
255
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:45,154
I woke up and I don't
know how to explain it,
256
00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:48,542
but something deep in
my heart had changed.
257
00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:50,844
It's like all the love
I felt for Phyllis
258
00:11:50,928 --> 00:11:51,661
is now suddenly gone.
259
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:54,163
That does happen sometimes.
260
00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:56,883
You can fall out of love just
as quickly as you fell into it.
261
00:11:56,968 --> 00:11:58,885
Huh, you know,
I don't even care
262
00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:01,721
if she ends up with
another bulldog.
263
00:12:01,806 --> 00:12:03,056
Hell, maybe they'd be
better off together.
264
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,173
Well...
265
00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:05,442
breeding is done for a reason.
266
00:12:05,509 --> 00:12:07,477
Mating a purebred
with another purebred
267
00:12:07,528 --> 00:12:09,863
keeps things... pure.
268
00:12:09,947 --> 00:12:11,898
Yeah.
269
00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:14,651
I got to admit, now that
my mind is no longer lost
270
00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:17,037
in the fog of love,
it's starting to make sense.
271
00:12:17,121 --> 00:12:19,623
I mean, you mix up the breeds,
who knows what you're gonna get?
272
00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:20,574
Exactly.
273
00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:22,859
Like, take Joffrey here.
274
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,360
(laughs)
Wait...
275
00:12:24,412 --> 00:12:26,746
What?
WILFRED: Well, he-he's the product
276
00:12:26,831 --> 00:12:28,999
of a white mother
and a Mexican father.
277
00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:30,667
He's a mutt, just like me.
278
00:12:30,718 --> 00:12:32,385
It's different
with people, Wilfred.
279
00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:33,920
Joffrey's fine.
280
00:12:34,005 --> 00:12:34,921
Joffrey and I
are both mongrels.
281
00:12:35,006 --> 00:12:36,089
We're mistakes.
282
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:37,557
Now, I-I wouldn't say you're...
283
00:12:37,642 --> 00:12:39,059
No, no, no, you're
totally right.
284
00:12:39,143 --> 00:12:41,061
Just imagine a world
285
00:12:41,145 --> 00:12:43,563
where all of the bloodlines
were kept pure--
286
00:12:43,648 --> 00:12:45,765
a perfect world where
there were no mistakes.
287
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:47,684
(phone vibrating)
288
00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,605
That's that job recruiter.
289
00:12:51,689 --> 00:12:54,223
You going to that meeting
with her tomorrow, right?
290
00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:55,892
I don't know.
291
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,994
I mean, now that Anne's staying,
what's the rush?
292
00:12:58,062 --> 00:13:02,032
Ryan, if this whole Phyllis
ordeal has taught me anything,
293
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:05,619
it's that it feels good
to move on with your life.
294
00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,170
On to bigger and better things.
295
00:13:07,237 --> 00:13:08,922
Hmm.
296
00:13:09,006 --> 00:13:11,174
Hendler-Greer specializes
in green energy
297
00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:13,076
and they're looking
for a junior partner.
298
00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:16,263
Well, actually I'm sort of
leaning towards nonprofit.
299
00:13:16,347 --> 00:13:18,848
Okay.
300
00:13:18,916 --> 00:13:20,634
Well, have you heard
of New Horizons?
301
00:13:20,718 --> 00:13:22,752
They're a nonprofit
that provides legal counsel
302
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,638
for victims of domestic abuse.
303
00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:27,090
Yeah, that-that sounds great.
304
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:28,975
But I worry that it's
a little too outside
305
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:30,694
of my area of expertise.
306
00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:33,313
(sighs)
307
00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:34,698
Sorry, I...
308
00:13:34,765 --> 00:13:36,283
I guess I'm kind
of a challenge.
309
00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:37,767
It's okay.
310
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,369
I like a challenge.
311
00:13:39,436 --> 00:13:42,072
I'm sure, if we work together
long enough,
312
00:13:42,123 --> 00:13:44,003
I'll find something
that'll pique your interest.
313
00:13:44,075 --> 00:13:46,576
Uh...
314
00:13:46,627 --> 00:13:49,879
I-I don't understand.
315
00:13:49,947 --> 00:13:51,948
Are you ready to get
your dick sucked, Ryan?
316
00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:08,181
Oh!
317
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,967
(gasping)
318
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,802
Wh-What's going on?
319
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:15,014
I've been doing a little
pure-breeding of my own, mate.
320
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:18,474
I think I'll name
your baby Rysten.
321
00:14:20,077 --> 00:14:21,911
(door closes)
322
00:14:26,716 --> 00:14:27,682
Wilfred!
323
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:28,850
Get back here!
324
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:36,841
Shit.
325
00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:39,778
(phone line ringing)
326
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:40,845
It's Kristen, leave a message.
327
00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:41,863
(voicemail beeps)
328
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,149
Hey, uh, I-I don't know
329
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,484
if you're still taking your nap,
but I'm gonna be
330
00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:47,786
in your neighborhood,
so I thought I'd drop by.
331
00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:49,871
See you soon.
332
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,208
Kristen.
333
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,693
Kristen!
334
00:14:55,745 --> 00:14:56,995
(phone ringing)
335
00:14:58,414 --> 00:14:59,881
Kristen, where are you?
336
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,532
I'm at your place.
My place?
337
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:02,968
When I couldn't find my phone,
I realized
338
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,252
I must've left it here
earlier today.
339
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,503
WILFRED:
Or perhaps someone stole it.
340
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:06,805
Wilfred's there?
341
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,206
Yeah, he was here
when I came in.
342
00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:09,557
WILFRED: Breeding a brother
with his sister
343
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,593
can only result in perfect...
344
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:13,511
Get away from him, Kristen.
345
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:14,813
I'll be right there.
346
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:18,733
Hey, Ryan.
Wilfred, get out of there.
347
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,235
(Wilfred and Kristen laughing)
348
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:23,438
Ow!
What are you doing?
349
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,023
Uh, I have to take him out.
350
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:29,027
Please, tell me
you didn't do it.
351
00:15:29,078 --> 00:15:31,198
You mean extract your semen
and inseminate your sister
352
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,081
so she can give birth
to a purebred Newman?
353
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:37,335
Of course I didn't.
I'm not that sick and twisted.
354
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,454
I just wanted you
to think I would,
355
00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:41,956
so you can see what it's
like to almost get bred.
356
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,958
What?! Why?
357
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:45,260
All that fear and
disgust you just felt?
358
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:47,245
That's exactly what
Phyllis is feeling.
359
00:15:47,296 --> 00:15:48,630
Instead of being
with the one dog
360
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,548
she actually cares about-- me.
361
00:15:50,599 --> 00:15:53,418
We should be making tender,
passionate love right now,
362
00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:56,054
stuck ass-to-ass with
my dick bent backwards
363
00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:57,722
between my legs in
excruciating pain
364
00:15:57,773 --> 00:15:59,190
under the stars.
365
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,643
What? I thought
you were over Phyllis.
366
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,945
What? Because of this?
367
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,982
You knew? How?
368
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,868
I went on your iPad to change
my relationship status
369
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:11,286
to "It's complicated,"
370
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,705
and I saw the Web site
on your browser.
371
00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:15,123
So you knowingly tortured me
'cause you still
372
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:16,574
think you're in love?
373
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,126
For the last time,
I am in love.
374
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:19,544
With someone who's destined
375
00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:21,546
to boned by her
own family member.
376
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,299
So, what? Dogs don't care if
they have sex with a relative.
377
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,217
Not if we don't get
a say in the matter.
378
00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:28,303
I chose to have sex
with my sister
379
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:30,171
and my aunt and my grandfather.
380
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:31,923
Making me think
I've impregnated my sister
381
00:16:31,974 --> 00:16:34,059
isn't even in the same ballpark
as dog breeding.
382
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,344
How did you come up
with this insane plan?
383
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,512
It's obvious.
384
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:38,813
I got it from Kristen.
385
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,298
Well, she's basically
386
00:16:40,349 --> 00:16:42,133
been playing house
with you lately.
387
00:16:42,184 --> 00:16:43,664
Treating her brother
like her husband.
388
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:44,986
What are you talking about?
389
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,471
She keeps using you as a crutch
390
00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:47,802
the same way you keep
using Anne.
391
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,242
Phyllis!
392
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,995
We will be together one day.
393
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,647
I promise!
394
00:16:56,699 --> 00:16:58,983
(boom box playing dogs howling)
395
00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:04,923
Hey.
396
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,991
I was thinking
397
00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:09,594
since I'm already here,
we might as well order in;
398
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,262
watch a movie.
399
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,797
Still haven't seen
Django Unchained.
400
00:17:12,848 --> 00:17:14,665
What? I-I thought
401
00:17:14,717 --> 00:17:16,551
you were going to that party
with your girlfriends tonight.
402
00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:19,003
I'll just cancel-- honestly
I'm just not really in the mood
403
00:17:19,054 --> 00:17:21,222
to get dressed up
and deal with that whole scene.
404
00:17:23,893 --> 00:17:26,010
Yeah, I think you
should go to that party.
405
00:17:26,061 --> 00:17:29,314
Look, I know it must be hard.
406
00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:31,816
After your divorce,
getting back out there.
407
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:34,486
It's daunting, but...
408
00:17:34,537 --> 00:17:37,038
I don't, I don't think
it's good to, you know,
409
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:40,241
become so dependent on this
comfortable thing we've got.
410
00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:44,496
I know.
411
00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:46,247
You're right.
412
00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:47,999
For what it's worth,
413
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:50,718
I'm doing the exact same
thing with this job search.
414
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,588
It's like... what
if I get rejected?
415
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:56,007
What if I fail?
416
00:17:56,058 --> 00:17:59,093
But I guess, at a certain point,
it's more dangerous
417
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,979
to not move forward
with your life.
418
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:05,016
(sighs)
419
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:15,994
Uh, is that a fanged
blow job giver?
420
00:18:17,913 --> 00:18:21,249
Um...
421
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:24,735
So, I asked Anne
to move out this morning.
422
00:18:24,787 --> 00:18:27,205
I've been putting off
getting a job for too long.
423
00:18:27,256 --> 00:18:29,757
It's a good thing,
mate-- trust me.
424
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,043
Although, as you know,
if Phyllis leaves,
425
00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:33,545
then I'll have to
leave with her,
426
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:35,847
because I will follow her
to the ends of the earth
427
00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:37,098
until the end of time.
428
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:39,684
Yeah, and...
I've been thinking.
429
00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:42,270
Maybe some of what you said
about breeding is true.
430
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,256
Thank you, Ryan;
I appreciate that.
431
00:18:45,307 --> 00:18:47,275
In good time,
you, too, will see
432
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,978
that Phyllis and I
truly are soul mates,
433
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:53,097
and that our love will
one day transcend...
434
00:18:53,148 --> 00:18:54,765
Oh, my God!
435
00:18:54,817 --> 00:18:56,985
Who is that disgusting
pig-like creature?
436
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,454
That's Phyllis.
No way.
437
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,706
That's a butter everything.
438
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:03,791
She's basically the
dog version of Natalie
439
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,076
from The Facts of Life.
Yeah.
440
00:19:05,127 --> 00:19:06,828
I'm telling you,
Wilfred, that's her.
441
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:08,112
WILFRED: Really?
Yeah.
442
00:19:08,163 --> 00:19:09,714
And, look, she's no longer
wearing a diaper
443
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:12,217
because she's probably
no longer in heat...
444
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:15,470
which is why you're probably
no longer in love.
445
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:20,391
No... I just think she looks
different in the daylight.
446
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,644
Right.
447
00:19:25,754 --> 00:19:28,196
Again, I'm really sorry that it
didn't work out with the dogs.
448
00:19:28,316 --> 00:19:30,383
It just got a little
too crazy with Wilfred.
449
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:33,384
Oh, I totally understand, Ryan.
It's for the best.
450
00:19:33,504 --> 00:19:35,454
And Northern California
will be nice,
451
00:19:35,506 --> 00:19:36,989
and I'll be closer
to my boyfriend.
452
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,624
Well, his prison.
453
00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:40,877
Take care.
454
00:19:40,961 --> 00:19:43,429
You, too. It's been fun.
455
00:19:45,599 --> 00:19:48,184
Sorry. There was a line
at the glory hole.
456
00:19:48,268 --> 00:19:50,002
And then this Chihuahua
got stuck,
457
00:19:50,053 --> 00:19:52,471
and his whole body was just,
like, dangling there.
458
00:19:52,523 --> 00:19:54,473
Oh. Did I miss the good-byes?
459
00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:56,192
Yeah.
460
00:19:56,276 --> 00:19:58,677
Well, I'm sure
I'll see Anne again one day.
461
00:19:58,729 --> 00:20:01,347
I look forward to meeting
her future son, Andrew.
462
00:20:01,398 --> 00:20:02,982
Andrew?
463
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:05,701
Why would she name her son An...
(engine starts)
464
00:20:05,786 --> 00:20:06,786
...drew?
465
00:20:08,399 --> 00:20:19,014
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
466
00:20:19,064 --> 00:20:23,614
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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