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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:10,106 --> 00:00:11,139
'Til Death is filmed
3
00:00:11,207 --> 00:00:13,223
in front of a live
studio audience.
4
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,809
Eddie, you can't
order food,
5
00:00:16,877 --> 00:00:18,203
Tell them it's disgusting,
6
00:00:18,270 --> 00:00:19,663
Have them take it
off the check
7
00:00:19,723 --> 00:00:21,286
And then ask
for a to-go.
8
00:00:22,553 --> 00:00:25,321
I got a swan full of
lasagna that begs to differ.
9
00:00:27,291 --> 00:00:28,658
Surprise!
10
00:00:28,717 --> 00:00:29,651
Allison!
11
00:00:29,705 --> 00:00:30,997
Oh, my Ally!
12
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:32,460
Hey, honey.
13
00:00:32,527 --> 00:00:35,156
Hey, surprise.
14
00:00:35,990 --> 00:00:37,155
Doug.
15
00:00:37,223 --> 00:00:38,853
I'm so sorry
I wasn't here
16
00:00:38,921 --> 00:00:39,920
To greet you guys
properly.
17
00:00:39,988 --> 00:00:41,886
I was just using
the facilities.
18
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,652
Please tell me
that's sink water
19
00:00:43,719 --> 00:00:45,718
And lie to me
if it's not.
20
00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:48,218
So, what are you guys
doing here?
21
00:00:48,286 --> 00:00:49,385
Mom, dad,
22
00:00:49,453 --> 00:00:51,454
I have some pretty
exciting news.
23
00:00:51,522 --> 00:00:53,655
No baby, no baby,
no baby, no baby.
24
00:00:55,357 --> 00:00:56,523
I got off
the wait list
25
00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:58,226
For the semester abroad
program.
26
00:00:58,293 --> 00:00:59,995
I'm going to paris.
27
00:01:00,063 --> 00:01:01,697
That is
the best news!
28
00:01:01,765 --> 00:01:03,599
Oh, oh, ok.
I died for a few seconds.
29
00:01:03,666 --> 00:01:05,865
Tell me what I missed?
30
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:06,865
I would leave on Friday.
31
00:01:06,932 --> 00:01:09,066
I just...I just need
a check for $1,500.
32
00:01:09,134 --> 00:01:10,133
Well, let's go to my bank.
33
00:01:10,201 --> 00:01:11,567
You can hold it up.
34
00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:12,897
What?
35
00:01:12,965 --> 00:01:13,930
Honey, listen.
36
00:01:13,998 --> 00:01:15,363
I would love for you
to go, but you can't.
37
00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:16,596
Dad, you told me
I could go.
38
00:01:16,662 --> 00:01:17,696
Yeah, I know,
but that's
39
00:01:17,764 --> 00:01:18,864
When you were
on the waiting list.
40
00:01:18,931 --> 00:01:20,364
You see, you're no longer
on the waiting list.
41
00:01:20,432 --> 00:01:21,631
You're now
on the truth list,
42
00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:24,032
And the truth is, daddy't of greenbacks.
43
00:01:25,066 --> 00:01:26,399
Sir, if I may,
44
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:27,433
I think this would be
45
00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:29,234
A really great
opportunity for her.
46
00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:30,868
She needs to see the world.
47
00:01:30,935 --> 00:01:32,269
The mushrooms
that grow in my van
48
00:01:32,336 --> 00:01:34,936
Can only expand
her mind so much, you know?
49
00:01:35,771 --> 00:01:36,703
I actually think
50
00:01:36,771 --> 00:01:38,105
That this is a really good idea,
51
00:01:38,172 --> 00:01:39,639
And I'm gonna go
get the checkbook.
52
00:01:39,707 --> 00:01:41,575
H-honey, have you seen
our balance lately?
53
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:46,644
I mean, our checkbook is basically
just scrap paper with pandas on it.
54
00:01:48,413 --> 00:01:49,613
What are you...
What are you doing?
55
00:01:49,681 --> 00:01:50,981
We can afford this.
56
00:01:51,049 --> 00:01:52,678
No, we can...
listen, the only reason
57
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:53,777
We were
out to dinner tonight
58
00:01:53,845 --> 00:01:56,579
Was because you
won a raffle.
59
00:01:56,646 --> 00:01:58,046
Ok, do you like that couple out there?
60
00:01:58,114 --> 00:01:59,881
Do you want to look at that
for the rest of your life?
61
00:01:59,948 --> 00:02:01,982
No. Then she's going on the trip.
62
00:02:02,049 --> 00:02:03,082
Well, look.
63
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:04,016
What...what difference
is it gonna make anyway?
64
00:02:04,084 --> 00:02:05,850
They're only gonna
be apart 6 months.
65
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,352
Oh! You are
so naive.
66
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,086
When a young woman
goes to europe,
67
00:02:11,154 --> 00:02:12,354
Do you know
what happens?
68
00:02:12,422 --> 00:02:13,355
No, I really don't.
69
00:02:13,422 --> 00:02:14,755
But why don't we
just save $1,500
70
00:02:14,823 --> 00:02:17,323
And just rent sisterhood
of the traveling pants?
71
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,026
She goes to Europe.
72
00:02:22,094 --> 00:02:23,394
She meets european guys,
73
00:02:23,461 --> 00:02:25,161
And do you know
what european guys do?
74
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,896
Things that make you forget
about your lame hometown boyfriend
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00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:29,997
And his van full
of magical mushrooms.
76
00:02:30,065 --> 00:02:31,798
Oh, please.
77
00:02:31,866 --> 00:02:32,899
Believe me.
78
00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:34,867
Sophomore year, I did
a semester in madrid.
79
00:02:34,935 --> 00:02:37,102
I don't think I had
my top on once.
80
00:02:37,169 --> 00:02:38,336
I mean, I stepped
off the plane
81
00:02:38,404 --> 00:02:40,837
And it was guy
after guy after guy.
82
00:02:42,172 --> 00:02:43,372
All right.
Ok, we get it.
83
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,440
J-just bring it
down a notch.
84
00:02:46,475 --> 00:02:48,509
Oh, I want to go
back there.
85
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:50,276
Well, you know what?
86
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,011
I...I think
you ended up pretty happy
87
00:02:52,078 --> 00:02:53,412
With your guy
back home
88
00:02:53,479 --> 00:02:55,179
Well, it is
what it is.
89
00:02:56,481 --> 00:02:57,614
Come on. Listen.
We're doing this.
90
00:02:57,682 --> 00:02:58,882
Whoa. No, we are
not doing it.
91
00:02:58,949 --> 00:02:59,916
It is way
too expensive
92
00:02:59,983 --> 00:03:01,417
And we can't
afford it.
93
00:03:01,484 --> 00:03:02,417
End of conversation.
94
00:03:02,485 --> 00:03:04,385
The head of the household has spoken.
95
00:03:05,554 --> 00:03:07,654
You know,
96
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,322
Part of me is glad your
dad won't let you go.
97
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,689
'cause then
it'll give us
98
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,891
All kinds of time
to just be
99
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:14,058
And do
100
00:03:14,126 --> 00:03:16,026
And feel.
101
00:03:17,328 --> 00:03:18,627
Give me the pandas.
102
00:03:24,632 --> 00:03:25,566
Where is Doug?
103
00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:26,533
You are going
to miss your flight.
104
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,633
He'll be here.
105
00:03:27,701 --> 00:03:28,568
Hey, you know
what, honey?
106
00:03:28,635 --> 00:03:30,602
Why don't we
take you, huh?
107
00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:33,371
Yeah, dad. That's a real
romantic european send-off.
108
00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,439
You loading me down
with handiwipes
109
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:38,041
To mop the germs
off my tray table.
110
00:03:38,108 --> 00:03:39,908
Everybody knows
that airplanes are
111
00:03:39,976 --> 00:03:42,544
Just flying tubes
of disease.
112
00:03:42,611 --> 00:03:43,845
Here he is.
113
00:03:43,912 --> 00:03:45,546
I'm so sorry
I'm late.
114
00:03:46,614 --> 00:03:48,315
For my fair maiden.
115
00:03:48,382 --> 00:03:49,315
What are these?
116
00:03:49,383 --> 00:03:50,884
Well, I was
a little nervous
117
00:03:50,951 --> 00:03:51,884
About you traveling,
118
00:03:51,952 --> 00:03:52,918
So, I stopped
by a creek
119
00:03:52,986 --> 00:03:54,486
And gathered some pebbles
with good energy
120
00:03:54,554 --> 00:03:56,488
To keep
in your purse.
121
00:03:58,424 --> 00:04:00,524
Holy mother
of gayness.
122
00:04:03,593 --> 00:04:05,827
Unfortunately, when
I got back to the van,
123
00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:06,895
I realized
that the engine
124
00:04:06,963 --> 00:04:08,196
Had dropped out
through the floor,
125
00:04:08,264 --> 00:04:10,598
So I had to run
the rest of the way.
126
00:04:10,665 --> 00:04:12,999
But, luckily, I found this running twig
127
00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:14,867
And it totally
tripled my speed.
128
00:04:17,137 --> 00:04:18,737
Running twig?
Really?
129
00:04:18,805 --> 00:04:20,838
We're all just gonna let that one go?
130
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,641
All right. You know what?
We're gonna take you.
131
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:26,443
Daddy, I told you. I
just want to go with Doug.
132
00:04:26,511 --> 00:04:27,878
Ok. Here. Take
your father's car.
133
00:04:27,946 --> 00:04:29,047
Why my car?
134
00:04:29,115 --> 00:04:30,148
What's the matter with your car?
135
00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:32,084
My car is downtown
with a boot on it.
136
00:04:32,151 --> 00:04:33,485
What?
137
00:04:33,553 --> 00:04:34,853
Yeah, I got a bunch
of parking tickets.
138
00:04:34,921 --> 00:04:36,454
I didn't pay 'em.
I got subpeonaed
139
00:04:36,522 --> 00:04:37,889
And there's
a warrant out for my...
140
00:04:37,957 --> 00:04:38,990
Oh, blah, blah, blah.
141
00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:39,991
Anyway, take his car.
142
00:04:40,059 --> 00:04:40,926
Ok, wait...wait.
Hold it.
143
00:04:40,993 --> 00:04:41,993
If you're gonna
take my car,
144
00:04:42,061 --> 00:04:43,361
You gotta take
my shortcut.
145
00:04:43,428 --> 00:04:44,827
No, Eddie. Not
the shortcut.
146
00:04:44,895 --> 00:04:47,062
That woman has never
missed a plane in 20 years
147
00:04:47,130 --> 00:04:48,263
Because of my shortcut.
148
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,563
Ok, now, this is
what you're gonna do.
149
00:04:49,631 --> 00:04:51,098
You're gonna hop
on the 411,
150
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,232
Then you take
the turnpike.
151
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:55,835
You get off the exit
59b. That's 5-9er bravo.
152
00:04:55,902 --> 00:04:59,270
It's gonna be a quick right,
quick right, crazy quick left.
153
00:04:59,338 --> 00:05:01,271
Then you're gonna end up
at, like, this refinery, ok?
154
00:05:01,339 --> 00:05:02,339
There's gonna be a gate.
155
00:05:02,407 --> 00:05:03,740
You can ask
for a guy named frank.
156
00:05:03,808 --> 00:05:05,642
You're gonna mention my name.
He's gonna let you through.
157
00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:07,010
There's gonna be
a dirt road.
158
00:05:07,077 --> 00:05:09,412
You're gonna take it 10 miles
all the way to the tarmac.
159
00:05:11,715 --> 00:05:14,884
Ok, so, is that a right or
a left out of the driveway?
160
00:05:21,857 --> 00:05:23,791
To a future
without Doug in it.
161
00:05:23,858 --> 00:05:24,958
Mmm. Amen.
162
00:05:26,361 --> 00:05:27,928
You know, I always
used to have this nightmare
163
00:05:27,996 --> 00:05:30,030
Where they got married
and then their little kids
164
00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:31,031
Ended up
running around
165
00:05:31,099 --> 00:05:32,900
In scraggly beards
and flip-flops
166
00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:34,836
Calling me granddude.
167
00:05:37,873 --> 00:05:40,173
That's her. I told her to
call before she took off.
168
00:05:41,309 --> 00:05:42,242
Hello?
169
00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:43,676
Hey, mama.
170
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,011
Hi, sweetie!
171
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,212
Hi! I just
wanted to call
172
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,081
And say thank you
again for letting me go.
173
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,182
Oh, it's
our pleasure, babe.
174
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,784
Ask her if she wiped
down the tray table.
175
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:53,852
And also
the arm rest.
176
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,620
Honey, under
no circumstances
177
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,590
Do you put those
complimentary earbuds
178
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,192
Into your head.
179
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:01,461
They're not even on
the plane yet, Eddie.
180
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:02,963
Oh, hold on one
second, mama.
181
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:08,068
Oh! You have 16a.
182
00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:09,369
I am 16b.
183
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,504
Who...who is
that, sweetie?
184
00:06:10,572 --> 00:06:12,506
What's going on?
What's going on?
185
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,574
I'm just talking to the guy
who's sitting next to me.
186
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:15,876
She's talking to
the guy next...
187
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,911
He's french.
He sounds hot.
188
00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:18,979
What does he do?
189
00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:21,481
Ally, what
does he do?
190
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,717
I...mom, he just pulled
a magazine out of his bag.
191
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,753
He just pulled a
magazine out of his bag.
192
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,687
Have her
smell the bag.
193
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:28,754
See if it's
real leather.
194
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:29,955
I'm telling...
stop it.
195
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,990
Ok, mama?
I gotta go.
196
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:32,991
My flight
is boarding.
197
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,460
I love you guys
so much.
198
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,061
Ok, baby. Well, we love you, too.
199
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,163
Love you, angel.
200
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,431
Have a great flight.
Be safe. Ok. Bye. Bye.
201
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:40,432
Mwah!
202
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:43,901
⪠she's got
a boyfriend âª
203
00:06:43,969 --> 00:06:45,736
⪠and he's
from France âª
204
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,140
Oh, she's probably
calling back
205
00:06:49,207 --> 00:06:50,541
To tell us that
she is in love.
206
00:06:50,609 --> 00:06:51,542
I want to talk
this time.
207
00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:53,511
No. No. Bonjour.
208
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:56,313
What?
209
00:06:56,381 --> 00:06:57,747
We found him in his car,
210
00:06:57,815 --> 00:06:59,681
Upside down
on a dirt road,
211
00:06:59,749 --> 00:07:02,016
Clutching a twig.
212
00:07:05,687 --> 00:07:07,020
He, uh, he should
be all right,
213
00:07:07,088 --> 00:07:08,654
But he got
banged up pretty good.
214
00:07:08,722 --> 00:07:10,155
Are you related
to the patient?
215
00:07:10,223 --> 00:07:12,623
Oh, our daughter's about
to break up with him.
216
00:07:14,526 --> 00:07:16,526
Well, that should
really lift his spirits.
217
00:07:16,594 --> 00:07:17,460
All right.
218
00:07:17,528 --> 00:07:18,528
I'll give you guys
a minute.
219
00:07:18,595 --> 00:07:19,762
Ok.
220
00:07:26,568 --> 00:07:27,968
Doug.
221
00:07:28,036 --> 00:07:29,236
Doug.
222
00:07:29,304 --> 00:07:31,271
How's my car?
223
00:07:31,339 --> 00:07:33,740
Eddie!
224
00:07:36,276 --> 00:07:37,343
Are...are you ok, Doug?
225
00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:39,511
Tell us what happened.
226
00:07:40,579 --> 00:07:42,180
Well, when I was
taking your shortcut
227
00:07:42,248 --> 00:07:43,881
Back from the airport,
228
00:07:43,949 --> 00:07:46,417
I was pretty emotional from
saying good-bye to Allison.
229
00:07:46,485 --> 00:07:49,687
And I was cranking
your neil diamond cd,
230
00:07:49,754 --> 00:07:51,689
And midway through
forever in blue jeans,
231
00:07:51,756 --> 00:07:55,859
I hit a pothole and I
just flipped the bitch.
232
00:07:57,328 --> 00:07:58,695
I tried to call Allison,
233
00:07:58,763 --> 00:08:00,397
But it went straight
to her voice mail.
234
00:08:00,465 --> 00:08:02,632
She's probably
in the air already.
235
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,767
You know,
like they say.
236
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:05,802
C'est la vie.
Soup du jour.
237
00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,371
I couldn't call
my parents.
238
00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:10,741
We're not even
on speaking terms.
239
00:08:10,808 --> 00:08:11,942
So, you guys
were the only ones
240
00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:13,277
I could think of
to reach out to.
241
00:08:13,345 --> 00:08:15,513
Well, we're glad
that you did, Doug.
242
00:08:16,815 --> 00:08:19,016
Ok, we're
gonna hit it.
243
00:08:20,485 --> 00:08:21,685
Oh, my God, Doug!
244
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,386
Honey,
what are you?
245
00:08:24,589 --> 00:08:25,856
Baby!
246
00:08:27,559 --> 00:08:30,193
My catheter.
247
00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:35,299
I thought you left?
248
00:08:35,366 --> 00:08:36,433
My plane was delayed,
249
00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:38,670
So I turned on my phone
and I got your message.
250
00:08:38,738 --> 00:08:40,505
God, I can't believe
I almost lost you.
251
00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:41,506
I missed you so much.
252
00:08:41,573 --> 00:08:42,940
Oh, I missed you more.
253
00:08:43,008 --> 00:08:44,675
I never want
to be without you again.
254
00:08:44,743 --> 00:08:46,177
I never want to be
without you again.
255
00:08:46,244 --> 00:08:47,377
Don't go to paris.
256
00:08:47,445 --> 00:08:48,711
Ok.
Will you marry me?
257
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,880
Totally.
258
00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,618
Baby, you ok?
259
00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:00,321
Not totally.
260
00:09:05,393 --> 00:09:08,094
Oh, this is so romantic.
261
00:09:08,162 --> 00:09:11,731
Our first time in the
house as fiancee and...
262
00:09:11,799 --> 00:09:13,366
Guy who fianceed me.
263
00:09:14,368 --> 00:09:16,737
It's...it's almost
as if the universe
264
00:09:16,805 --> 00:09:19,174
Had a master plan for us to be together.
265
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,878
Yes. God has
certainly made
266
00:09:22,946 --> 00:09:25,214
His feelings towards us
very clear.
267
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:31,419
May I get a glass
of water for my fiance?
268
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:32,787
Your fiance
would love that.
269
00:09:32,854 --> 00:09:34,988
I'll be right back,
fiance.
270
00:09:35,056 --> 00:09:36,389
I'll miss you,
fiancee.
271
00:09:36,457 --> 00:09:37,556
Just...
272
00:09:37,624 --> 00:09:39,358
Go get him the water.
273
00:09:42,361 --> 00:09:44,362
Mr. And mrs. Stark...
274
00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:45,730
Wait, what am I saying?
275
00:09:45,798 --> 00:09:47,865
Mom, dad.
276
00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:50,833
I just want
to thank you guys
277
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:52,468
For everything
that you're doing.
278
00:09:52,535 --> 00:09:55,436
Well, it's
a pleasure, Doug.
279
00:09:55,504 --> 00:09:57,238
So, Doug, how about we
get a hot meal in you
280
00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:00,306
And get you to a
motel with a ramp?
281
00:10:00,374 --> 00:10:03,108
Dad, the doctor said
it was going to be 6 weeks
282
00:10:03,176 --> 00:10:05,744
Before they can even take
the screws out of his body.
283
00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:08,146
Well, actually, then
they have to refracture me
284
00:10:08,214 --> 00:10:10,448
And even out my legs.
285
00:10:10,516 --> 00:10:13,150
You are gonna stay
right here on this couch
286
00:10:13,218 --> 00:10:14,819
Until you get
out of those casts
287
00:10:14,886 --> 00:10:16,720
And you're back
on your feet.
288
00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:19,055
I'm gonna go grab
mom's rubber spatula
289
00:10:19,122 --> 00:10:21,123
To work
your itchy parts.
290
00:10:24,893 --> 00:10:26,527
Boy, there are so many things being said
291
00:10:26,595 --> 00:10:28,129
That I don't
want to hear.
292
00:10:29,931 --> 00:10:30,931
All right. I think
I'm gonna go up
293
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,665
And get Doug
a pair of your pajamas.
294
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,733
And we have
a winner.
295
00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:38,970
Hey, I heard
about the accident.
296
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,039
Wanted to come by and
make sure everyone was ok.
297
00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:42,707
How you doing, man?
298
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:43,774
Well, I'm in
a lot of pain and...
299
00:10:43,842 --> 00:10:46,176
Cool. Listen, Eddie.
300
00:10:46,244 --> 00:10:47,777
Do not take your car
to a body shop.
301
00:10:47,845 --> 00:10:49,012
My cousin jimmy
is a mechanic.
302
00:10:49,079 --> 00:10:50,179
He'll hook you up.
303
00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,014
He'll fix your whole car
for, like, 90 bucks.
304
00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:53,382
What are you
talking about?
305
00:10:53,449 --> 00:10:54,949
Oh, yeah.
He fixes dents.
306
00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:56,784
He'll pop that thing
right on out.
307
00:10:56,852 --> 00:10:59,955
Kenny... Kenny, my whole
front end is caved in.
308
00:11:00,022 --> 00:11:01,022
I'm telling you, man,
309
00:11:01,090 --> 00:11:02,757
The man will
pop it out.
310
00:11:03,925 --> 00:11:06,161
All right. Who do I
make the check out to?
311
00:11:07,062 --> 00:11:09,063
Make it out
to pam's cupcakes.
312
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,033
Great plan, Joy.
313
00:11:16,101 --> 00:11:17,067
Good job.
314
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,201
Let's send her
on a trip
315
00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:20,003
So she can sleep her way around europe
316
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,637
The way mama did.
317
00:11:21,705 --> 00:11:23,339
I thought it would
break them up.
318
00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:26,007
It got them engaged.
319
00:11:26,075 --> 00:11:27,842
You know, none of this
would have happened
320
00:11:27,910 --> 00:11:29,877
If it weren't for your
stupid shortcut.
321
00:11:29,944 --> 00:11:32,145
Hey, my shortcut got her
to the plane on time.
322
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:35,182
What idiot takes a
shortcut on the way home?
323
00:11:35,249 --> 00:11:37,451
All right.
You know what?
324
00:11:37,518 --> 00:11:40,220
If you know a shorter way,
325
00:11:40,287 --> 00:11:43,723
Why wouldn't you
take it both ways, ass?
326
00:11:45,326 --> 00:11:46,392
Because,
327
00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:50,030
Mrs. Ass asserson,
328
00:11:50,097 --> 00:11:53,233
You take a shortcut en you want
to get to some place faster.
329
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:55,802
If everybody took a
shortcut at the same time,
330
00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:56,836
What would it be?
331
00:11:56,904 --> 00:11:59,572
Clogged.
Use your head, woman.
332
00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:02,808
Why don't you take a
small shortcut to hell?
333
00:12:04,578 --> 00:12:07,913
Is that the potty mouth you used
when you were turning tricks in Spain?
334
00:12:09,048 --> 00:12:12,417
Ok, everybody just calm down, all right?
335
00:12:12,485 --> 00:12:13,785
We are turning
on each other
336
00:12:13,853 --> 00:12:16,622
And we have a very
large problem downstairs
337
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:19,491
And we need to work
together and fix this.
338
00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:20,559
You're right. Ooh.
339
00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:21,894
We have to come up
with a way
340
00:12:21,962 --> 00:12:23,396
Where Allison
understands
341
00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:26,532
That this engagement
is a big mistake.
342
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:27,634
She is 21 years old.
343
00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:30,270
This is
absolutely crazy.
344
00:12:30,338 --> 00:12:32,039
We just have
to make her realize that.
345
00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:34,742
How are we
going to do that?
346
00:12:39,046 --> 00:12:40,814
I...I got it.
Ok. Here.
347
00:12:40,881 --> 00:12:41,881
We got married young.
348
00:12:41,949 --> 00:12:42,883
Really young.
349
00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:44,684
Way too young.
Are you kidding me?
350
00:12:44,752 --> 00:12:45,952
Heh. Look how this
turned out.
351
00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,553
It's awful.
352
00:12:47,621 --> 00:12:50,122
It's a disaster.
It's a train wreck.
353
00:12:50,189 --> 00:12:51,923
I mean, look.
We have no money.
354
00:12:51,991 --> 00:12:53,091
We have dead end jobs.
355
00:12:53,158 --> 00:12:54,558
No plans for the future.
356
00:12:54,626 --> 00:12:56,093
Hey, the only good thing
to show for our marriage
357
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,628
Is downstairs itchin'
a cripple's business
358
00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:00,429
With your flatware.
359
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,866
So, we'll tell Allison
360
00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:07,600
If she gets married
this young,
361
00:13:07,668 --> 00:13:09,535
She's gonna turn out
just like us.
362
00:13:09,603 --> 00:13:10,837
That'll scare
the hell out of her.
363
00:13:10,905 --> 00:13:11,838
That's perfect.
364
00:13:11,906 --> 00:13:12,973
Let's go down there
right now.
365
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:14,207
No, no, no.
We can't go right now.
366
00:13:14,275 --> 00:13:15,375
Not in front of Doug.
367
00:13:15,443 --> 00:13:16,910
Tomorrow,
I will get her alone
368
00:13:16,978 --> 00:13:18,078
And I will
take care of this.
369
00:13:18,146 --> 00:13:19,880
Oh...oh, ok. Ok. We'll do it that way.
370
00:13:19,947 --> 00:13:22,716
I mean, who better to show her
how bad marriage is than us?
371
00:13:23,951 --> 00:13:24,951
I love you.
372
00:13:25,019 --> 00:13:26,286
I love you, too.
373
00:13:26,353 --> 00:13:27,286
You wanna have sex?
374
00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:29,187
No.
Me neither.
375
00:13:36,229 --> 00:13:37,563
What are you doing?
376
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:38,697
I thought you were
gonna pop it out?
377
00:13:38,764 --> 00:13:39,897
I can't pop it out.
378
00:13:39,965 --> 00:13:41,899
I gave the man my word
that you would pop it out.
379
00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:43,933
Some things
are not poppable.
380
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,935
Pop it!
You pop it. I quit.
381
00:13:46,002 --> 00:13:47,603
Good!
382
00:13:49,605 --> 00:13:51,039
How's it going
over there?
383
00:13:51,107 --> 00:13:53,040
Oh, good, good, good.
384
00:13:53,108 --> 00:13:54,341
Just taking a 5.
385
00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:55,909
Put on your driving gloves.
386
00:13:55,976 --> 00:13:57,977
Real soon.
Vroom, vroom, vroom!
387
00:14:02,448 --> 00:14:05,616
Hey.
388
00:14:05,684 --> 00:14:06,916
How's it
going, guys?
389
00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:07,950
Pretty good.
390
00:14:08,018 --> 00:14:10,952
I'm just reteaching
my mouth how to chew.
391
00:14:11,954 --> 00:14:14,556
Guess who's
up to pudding?
392
00:14:14,623 --> 00:14:16,924
You keep working
the miracles, kids.
393
00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:22,196
All right. Well?
394
00:14:22,264 --> 00:14:23,464
So, did you
talk to Allison?
395
00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:25,466
No, I haven't had a
chance to get her alone.
396
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:26,500
Ever since
the engagement,
397
00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:28,669
Those two are joined
at the shattered hip.
398
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:32,271
Okay, guess who's
ready for their sponge bath?
399
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:34,473
Come here.
What?
400
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,774
Ahem. Hey, Allison!
401
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:38,277
I think that maybe you've
done enough for today.
402
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,979
Why don't you let your...your
dad take care of this one?
403
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,750
Take care of what one?
404
00:14:47,818 --> 00:14:50,652
You know, giving Doug his sponge bath.
405
00:14:55,789 --> 00:14:57,255
What the hell?
406
00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:03,227
Come on.
407
00:15:03,295 --> 00:15:06,596
You know, I think that
it will give me a chance
408
00:15:06,664 --> 00:15:08,464
To have some alone
time with Allison
409
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,033
And...and also an opportunity for you
410
00:15:11,101 --> 00:15:14,502
To do some father-in-law,
son-in-law bonding.
411
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:18,205
Oh, why do we have to
jump right to sponge bath?
412
00:15:18,273 --> 00:15:20,574
Maybe I can wheel him
to a strip club.
413
00:15:22,176 --> 00:15:24,077
Man up,
grab a sponge,
414
00:15:24,144 --> 00:15:26,379
And bathe your
future son-in-law.
415
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,513
Sir, you don't
have to do this
416
00:15:28,581 --> 00:15:30,215
If it makes you
uncomfortable.
417
00:15:30,282 --> 00:15:32,650
No. I want to.
418
00:15:34,319 --> 00:15:37,788
No one knows
how to bathe a man
419
00:15:37,856 --> 00:15:39,489
Better than another man.
420
00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:57,144
Sir, don't you think it would be
more effective if you looked at me?
421
00:15:57,212 --> 00:15:58,879
No, I do not.
422
00:15:59,714 --> 00:16:00,980
Don't take it
personally,
423
00:16:01,048 --> 00:16:03,116
But I once spent a
whole summer washing dogs
424
00:16:03,183 --> 00:16:05,250
And I couldn't look them
in the eye, either.
425
00:16:07,086 --> 00:16:09,187
Oh, yeah. That's
the spot right there.
426
00:16:12,056 --> 00:16:13,857
What spot?
427
00:16:13,925 --> 00:16:15,125
No, I'm just...
I'm just saying
428
00:16:15,193 --> 00:16:17,161
That that feels
really good.
429
00:16:18,497 --> 00:16:20,165
Doug.
Yes, sir?
430
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:21,500
Say that
one more time
431
00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:23,435
And I'm throwing
in the hair dryer.
432
00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:26,571
You know, sweetie,
I just, um,
433
00:16:26,638 --> 00:16:28,806
I want to talk about
this engagement thing.
434
00:16:28,874 --> 00:16:31,508
I mean, you just...
you're so young
435
00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:35,046
And your dad and I, we
got married very young.
436
00:16:35,113 --> 00:16:38,216
I know. You guys
totally inspire me.
437
00:16:42,222 --> 00:16:46,093
Inspire you to what?
438
00:16:47,728 --> 00:16:49,396
To be like you.
439
00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:52,732
I mean, I've always
wanted what you guys have.
440
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,435
Of course. I mean,
who wouldn't?
441
00:16:57,305 --> 00:16:58,639
What exactly do we have?
442
00:16:59,507 --> 00:17:02,809
Uh, an amazing
relationship?
443
00:17:02,876 --> 00:17:05,812
I mean, all of my friends'
parents are divorced
444
00:17:05,879 --> 00:17:07,547
And they hate
each other,
445
00:17:07,614 --> 00:17:09,348
But you guys,
446
00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:10,816
I mean, you're
still together
447
00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:13,786
After all of these
years and you still
448
00:17:13,854 --> 00:17:15,555
Are best friends.
449
00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:20,526
We do make a pretty good team, I guess.
450
00:17:20,593 --> 00:17:22,361
Pretty good?
451
00:17:22,428 --> 00:17:25,764
Mom, the reason
that I'm so confident
452
00:17:25,832 --> 00:17:27,365
About getting
married to Doug
453
00:17:27,433 --> 00:17:30,402
Is because you've
shown me first hand
454
00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:33,238
How great
a marriage can be.
455
00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:38,042
Are you crying?
456
00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,677
No.
457
00:17:41,313 --> 00:17:43,880
And perfect.
458
00:17:43,948 --> 00:17:45,315
All right.
459
00:17:45,382 --> 00:17:48,286
Ok, let's
flip me over.
460
00:17:51,758 --> 00:17:52,825
Uh, just a heads up.
461
00:17:52,893 --> 00:17:53,893
The back of my thighs
462
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,694
Is where a lot
of things congeal.
463
00:17:55,762 --> 00:17:57,863
Ok. Ahem.
464
00:17:57,930 --> 00:17:58,763
You know what?
465
00:17:58,831 --> 00:18:00,036
Let's, uh, let's
take a union fiver
466
00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:01,471
For the scrubber, huh?
467
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,472
Yeah, yeah.
468
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,707
Oh, God!
469
00:18:06,278 --> 00:18:07,445
Hey, sir.
470
00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:09,279
Can I share
something with you?
471
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,081
I'm kinda
getting cold feet.
472
00:18:12,149 --> 00:18:13,249
Oh, oh, really?
473
00:18:13,317 --> 00:18:14,750
Really, Doug? So, your
feet are cold now, huh?
474
00:18:14,818 --> 00:18:16,786
Well, it isn't going
great over here, either.
475
00:18:16,853 --> 00:18:18,623
This is the least
happy I've ever been
476
00:18:18,691 --> 00:18:20,058
Sitting
on the toilet.
477
00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:24,262
No, no. I mean
about the engagement.
478
00:18:32,305 --> 00:18:34,606
Go on.
479
00:18:34,674 --> 00:18:37,142
Well, I don't know
if it was the emotion
480
00:18:37,209 --> 00:18:39,077
Of seeing Allison go away
481
00:18:39,144 --> 00:18:41,178
Or the trauma
of the accident
482
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,179
Or the fact
that I was
483
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,214
Pretty hopped up
on painkillers.
484
00:18:44,282 --> 00:18:45,782
I mean, my body
isn't used to drugs
485
00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:48,351
That don't come
in a brownie, you know?
486
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,488
Well, I'm
starting to think
487
00:18:52,556 --> 00:18:55,090
That maybe I might have made a mistake.
488
00:18:55,158 --> 00:18:57,158
I mean, I love
your daughter so much
489
00:18:57,226 --> 00:19:00,829
But I just...I'm
not sure we're ready.
490
00:19:01,897 --> 00:19:03,564
If you're asking
my permission
491
00:19:03,632 --> 00:19:05,833
To not marry
my daughter,
492
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,601
The answer is "yes."
493
00:19:12,742 --> 00:19:14,009
Joy?
494
00:19:14,076 --> 00:19:15,410
Joy Joy?
495
00:19:16,445 --> 00:19:17,779
Darling?
496
00:19:18,781 --> 00:19:21,516
Great news.
The wedding's...
497
00:19:21,583 --> 00:19:23,084
In my bedroom.
498
00:19:24,886 --> 00:19:27,287
Listen, I thought you were
going to talk her out of it.
499
00:19:27,355 --> 00:19:28,721
I know.
I was going to,
500
00:19:28,789 --> 00:19:29,722
But then, you know,
501
00:19:29,790 --> 00:19:31,524
She started talking
about you and me
502
00:19:31,591 --> 00:19:33,826
And how she admired
our relationship
503
00:19:33,893 --> 00:19:35,694
And how cute
we are together
504
00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:37,228
And I just want
to eat your nose.
505
00:19:37,295 --> 00:19:38,963
What is wrong
with you?
506
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:39,997
Nothing.
507
00:19:40,065 --> 00:19:41,699
It's just
Allison reminded me
508
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:43,534
That we actually have
a pretty great marriage
509
00:19:43,602 --> 00:19:45,969
And, you know,
we're her role models.
510
00:19:46,036 --> 00:19:46,936
What are you? High?
511
00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:48,203
Did you get
into Doug's brownies?
512
00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,304
What?
Come on, Eddie.
513
00:19:49,372 --> 00:19:52,241
I'm happy. They're
happy. Everybody's happy.
514
00:19:52,308 --> 00:19:53,542
Well, I'm not happy
515
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,577
Because I just spent an
hour playing rub-a-dub-Doug
516
00:19:55,644 --> 00:19:57,578
So you could put
the kibosh on this.
517
00:19:57,646 --> 00:20:00,781
I'm sorry. I guess I just got
a little swept up in the moment.
518
00:20:00,849 --> 00:20:01,782
Swept up in the moment?
519
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:03,317
You practically
set the date.
520
00:20:03,384 --> 00:20:04,484
Well, actually...
521
00:20:04,552 --> 00:20:05,452
But...but!
522
00:20:05,519 --> 00:20:07,620
Please, listen. It
doesn't matter, ok?
523
00:20:07,688 --> 00:20:09,522
Because Doug already
has cold feet,
524
00:20:09,589 --> 00:20:12,224
And he agrees that they're
too young to even do this.
525
00:20:12,292 --> 00:20:14,059
Doug, tell her what you
told me earlier. Go ahead.
526
00:20:19,397 --> 00:20:20,597
What do you think?
527
00:20:20,665 --> 00:20:23,333
I don't know how I ever
could have doubted this.
528
00:20:23,401 --> 00:20:25,735
You're the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
529
00:20:31,874 --> 00:20:33,108
Oh, I'm hurt.
530
00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:39,313
Ok, we got $1,500 for a
nonrefundable plane ticket.
531
00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:40,414
Yep.
532
00:20:40,481 --> 00:20:42,116
And you prepaid
the room and board
533
00:20:42,183 --> 00:20:43,417
For an entire
semester.
534
00:20:43,484 --> 00:20:45,352
Sure did.
Saved us 50 bucks.
535
00:20:45,419 --> 00:20:46,553
Ok, so, 50 bucks
536
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,255
Goes towards the $700
penalty I had to pay
537
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:52,724
For an uninsured
motorist driving my car.
538
00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:55,359
And that leaves us
a net loss of...
539
00:20:55,427 --> 00:20:56,560
2150.
540
00:20:57,663 --> 00:20:59,230
2150.
541
00:20:59,298 --> 00:21:01,132
Ok, that means all
the food in our kitchen
542
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,101
Has to last us
for another...
543
00:21:03,169 --> 00:21:05,337
3 months. But...but... but...but.
544
00:21:08,207 --> 00:21:09,774
3 months.
545
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:14,613
How's my car?
546
00:21:14,681 --> 00:21:16,448
I'm gonna level
with you, man.
547
00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:20,318
Bad news is, we cannot
fix that car for 90 bucks.
548
00:21:20,386 --> 00:21:21,419
Good news is,
my cousin tito
549
00:21:21,487 --> 00:21:23,688
Will tow it away
for $120.
550
00:21:23,756 --> 00:21:25,357
Can I get an apple?
Not until March.
551
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
552
00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:32,600
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