Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:01,827
[Rock music playing]
2
00:00:02,477 --> 00:00:03,679
-
Get some
-
Yeah
3
00:00:03,711 --> 00:00:05,494
You see it, want it, grab it
4
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:06,548
-
Get some
-
Yeah
5
00:00:06,580 --> 00:00:08,349
Being this dope is a habit
6
00:00:08,382 --> 00:00:09,684
-
Get some
-
Boom
7
00:00:09,717 --> 00:00:11,353
Yeah, I'm bringing back the magic
8
00:00:11,385 --> 00:00:13,154
Gonna snag life and bag it
9
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,823
Get it like a savage
10
00:00:14,856 --> 00:00:16,024
-
Get some
-
Yeah
11
00:00:16,056 --> 00:00:17,825
You see it, want it, grab it
12
00:00:17,859 --> 00:00:19,127
-
Get some
-
Yeah
13
00:00:19,159 --> 00:00:20,695
Being this dope is a habit
14
00:00:20,728 --> 00:00:22,030
-
Get some
-
Boom
15
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,664
Yeah, I'm bringing back the magic
16
00:00:23,698 --> 00:00:25,499
Gonna snag life and bag it
17
00:00:25,533 --> 00:00:26,933
- [Record scratches]
- [Keys jangle]
18
00:00:28,368 --> 00:00:31,506
Little bit thorny, but I got it.
19
00:00:31,539 --> 00:00:32,841
- Usual spot?
- Yep.
20
00:00:32,874 --> 00:00:34,376
And, uh, fill her up, all right?
21
00:00:34,408 --> 00:00:36,143
- She's almost out of gas.
- Roger that.
22
00:00:36,176 --> 00:00:38,012
Whatever's the most expensive, okay?
23
00:00:38,045 --> 00:00:40,214
Like I haven't done this 100 times.
24
00:00:40,247 --> 00:00:42,016
Hey, Fairbell, do not
eat my Tic Tacs, okay?
25
00:00:42,049 --> 00:00:43,527
Or I get burned with
the cigarette lighter.
26
00:00:43,551 --> 00:00:45,067
Or you get burned with
the cigarette lighter.
27
00:00:45,091 --> 00:00:47,530
- Hey, have a great day!
- Yeah, it's a little late for that.
28
00:00:47,554 --> 00:00:50,859
You should have seen Starbucks.
God damn [bleep] show.
29
00:00:52,393 --> 00:00:53,495
Ah, ah.
30
00:00:53,528 --> 00:00:55,831
Ah!
31
00:00:55,864 --> 00:00:57,265
Ah.
32
00:00:57,298 --> 00:00:58,667
[Groaning]
33
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,102
You showed them all, Shoemaker.
34
00:01:00,135 --> 00:01:03,072
You're never too old to make the
Cincinnati Bengals' practice squad.
35
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:05,040
Ha-ha-ha. Very funny, all right?
36
00:01:05,072 --> 00:01:08,218
I had a vasectomy, and I'm just having
a little trouble with the stairs.
37
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,376
You had a vasectomy?
38
00:01:09,409 --> 00:01:11,112
Aren't those supposed to be un-invasive?
39
00:01:11,146 --> 00:01:13,948
Okay, I wouldn't know. It's
my first one, all right?
40
00:01:13,981 --> 00:01:15,617
Now, if you'll excuse me...
41
00:01:15,650 --> 00:01:17,385
Why are there no ramps at this school?
42
00:01:17,418 --> 00:01:20,588
- Your hoodie from the dry cleaners.
- Well, it's about time, Fairbell.
43
00:01:20,621 --> 00:01:21,732
Oh, you're just gonna hand it to me?
44
00:01:21,756 --> 00:01:23,367
- Not gonna put it on?
- Oh, right, right.
45
00:01:23,391 --> 00:01:24,735
You want to be concierge,
you have to think
46
00:01:24,759 --> 00:01:26,302
- about that level of detail.
- [Pained breathing]
47
00:01:26,326 --> 00:01:27,638
- [Chuckles]
- What if this was a diplomat's top hat?
48
00:01:27,662 --> 00:01:30,080
- Look at me move now. [Chuckles]
- Now you're screwed,
49
00:01:30,105 --> 00:01:31,441
- 'cause he's late for his meeting.
- Not gonna hold me down.
50
00:01:31,465 --> 00:01:33,901
Not gonna hold me back. There we go.
51
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,638
What are you looking at? Get to class!
52
00:01:36,671 --> 00:01:38,974
Let's move it! Nothing to see here.
53
00:01:39,007 --> 00:01:40,308
54
00:01:40,340 --> 00:01:42,643
Quit wasting my time
55
00:01:42,677 --> 00:01:45,147
I ain't here for you
56
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:47,449
I'm just putting in work
57
00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:49,846
Till my day is through
58
00:01:49,878 --> 00:01:52,776
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
59
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:54,256
[Groaning]
60
00:01:54,289 --> 00:01:56,424
What motivated this
vasectomy all of a sudden?
61
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,418
My new lady and I had a pregnancy scare.
62
00:01:58,459 --> 00:01:59,828
Ugh, Doris?
63
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:02,429
What, did a dried gourd fall out of her?
64
00:02:02,462 --> 00:02:04,965
- She was late.
- Yeah, by 35 years.
65
00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:08,736
Irregardless, I did the right
thing, and I went and got snipped.
66
00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,939
- I'm just having some complications.
- These are more than complications.
67
00:02:11,973 --> 00:02:13,575
- You're immobile.
- Here's your coffee.
68
00:02:13,608 --> 00:02:16,111
Just the way you like it...
21 grains of organic sugar.
69
00:02:16,144 --> 00:02:18,914
She's way too old for
you, and that is a problem.
70
00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:22,458
Mm, no. Way too hot. Way too hot.
71
00:02:22,483 --> 00:02:24,018
If you dated someone your own age,
72
00:02:24,042 --> 00:02:26,277
you wouldn't have these sort of
geriatric ailments plaguing you.
73
00:02:26,301 --> 00:02:28,714
- She's not that much older than me.
- Try now.
74
00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:30,458
She's four or five
decades older than you.
75
00:02:30,491 --> 00:02:31,960
[Sighs]
76
00:02:31,992 --> 00:02:33,627
Mmm. That's perfect.
77
00:02:33,661 --> 00:02:35,864
I'm getting a hint of apple.
78
00:02:35,896 --> 00:02:37,865
Close... Apple Jacks.
79
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,829
Who the hell ate my snack peas?!
80
00:02:40,854 --> 00:02:42,270
Answer me!
81
00:02:42,302 --> 00:02:44,538
You could just have some
of Shoemaker's crotch peas.
82
00:02:44,572 --> 00:02:46,707
Fairbell. Oh, God, shut up.
83
00:02:46,741 --> 00:02:49,311
These are mine!
84
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:52,948
States so clearly on
the label, "Trip's peas!"
85
00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:56,052
- It did say "Trip's peas."
- Fairbell: Yeah, he labeled them.
86
00:02:56,466 --> 00:02:57,785
Whoa.
87
00:02:57,818 --> 00:02:59,787
Did you just get back
from Grandma's house?
88
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:01,156
Whoa, cool cape.
89
00:03:01,188 --> 00:03:03,657
Oh, this thing? I got
it at Anthropologie.
90
00:03:03,691 --> 00:03:05,227
You mean, Forever 31?
91
00:03:05,259 --> 00:03:07,194
- High-five me.
- Ahh, ah.
92
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,530
- God.
- Hey, y'all.
93
00:03:08,562 --> 00:03:11,198
I thought I'd bring in
some fudgy bacon doughnuts
94
00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:12,700
to get your motors running.
95
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,085
Who are you?
96
00:03:14,249 --> 00:03:16,972
And what have you done
with Principal Quinn?
97
00:03:17,004 --> 00:03:20,140
Dan, as I've already
explained to you several times
98
00:03:20,182 --> 00:03:24,483
in the parking lot this morning, I'm
the new principal, Cattie Goodman.
99
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:28,049
I was hired by the
district to fix this school.
100
00:03:28,611 --> 00:03:30,685
Now, y'all don't have
to be scared of me.
101
00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:32,900
I am as sweet as sugar.
102
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:35,697
Now, come on. Who's gonna
give me the dirt on Smoot, huh?
103
00:03:35,723 --> 00:03:39,026
How about you, handsome? You
want some of this? Huh? Oh, ooh.
104
00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:40,770
A-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga,
chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga.
105
00:03:40,794 --> 00:03:43,264
I am so glad that you asked
this, Principal Goodman.
106
00:03:43,298 --> 00:03:46,100
There are parts of this school
that are grossly under funded.
107
00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:48,869
Uh, music, art, the library.
108
00:03:48,902 --> 00:03:51,239
Oh, I guess we know
how the librarian feels.
109
00:03:51,271 --> 00:03:54,209
[Laughter]
110
00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:57,746
You know, I had you pegged as a ginger
witch the moment I saw that cape.
111
00:03:57,778 --> 00:04:01,049
- [Laughter]
- This is a pashmina cloak.
112
00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:03,208
- Said the witch.
- [Laughter]
113
00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:04,841
- Loren: Yeah.
- Tammy: Abbey has a point.
114
00:04:04,865 --> 00:04:07,897
We need to take some of those funds from
the sports and give them to the arts.
115
00:04:07,921 --> 00:04:09,123
That's what I was gonna do.
116
00:04:09,157 --> 00:04:10,364
Now, Ms. Sherman,
117
00:04:10,389 --> 00:04:13,372
could you please tell me what the
sign says on that door over there?
118
00:04:15,286 --> 00:04:17,231
Mr. Payton takes it in the "A."
119
00:04:17,265 --> 00:04:19,936
- [Chuckles]
- No, above that. Above that.
120
00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:24,105
- Mr. Shoemaker gives it in the "A."
- No, above that.
121
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,533
Y'all, where are all
these signs coming from?
122
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:28,909
It says "teacher's lounge."
123
00:04:28,943 --> 00:04:32,877
And I'm sorry, but the last time I
checked, you were my, hmm, secretary.
124
00:04:33,281 --> 00:04:35,747
- Ooh.
- Now, why don't you be a lamb
125
00:04:35,772 --> 00:04:39,087
and go in my office and unpack
some of those boxes for me now?
126
00:04:39,119 --> 00:04:41,155
[Dramatic music plays]
127
00:04:45,113 --> 00:04:47,149
[Dramatic music plays]
128
00:04:49,097 --> 00:04:51,633
Now, anybody have
anything "constructive"
129
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,096
- they'd like to add?
- Oh, me, me!
130
00:04:54,121 --> 00:04:55,135
- No.
- Yeah.
131
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,739
I love it here at Smoot.
I wouldn't change a thing.
132
00:04:57,772 --> 00:05:00,608
I always tell people,
"kids are gonna be kids."
133
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,611
Now that's the kind of straight
talk you can set your watch to.
134
00:05:03,643 --> 00:05:05,856
Come here, mustache. I want
you to go for a walk with me,
135
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,515
- 'cause I'm gonna pick your brain.
- It's gonna be a short walk.
136
00:05:08,549 --> 00:05:11,203
Hey, Fairbell, where you going? You
have to copy my third period quizzes.
137
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,963
- Dude, where are you going?
- You guys, she called me a witch.
138
00:05:13,988 --> 00:05:15,097
[Scoffs]
139
00:05:15,122 --> 00:05:17,013
It's like I'm... I'm starting
to get this wierd feeling
140
00:05:17,037 --> 00:05:19,465
that maybe she doesn't like me. I'm
probably reading too much into it
141
00:05:19,489 --> 00:05:20,511
- What?
- She hates you.
142
00:05:20,574 --> 00:05:21,838
[Muffled] I like you.
143
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,264
Dan, gross.
144
00:05:23,296 --> 00:05:25,032
You should let Dan see under your cloak.
145
00:05:25,066 --> 00:05:26,667
- Will you shut up?
- Aah!
146
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,871
How was Harry Potter Land, by the way?
147
00:05:29,432 --> 00:05:31,704
Fairbell: The problem I have with
reading is that you have to read so much.
148
00:05:31,728 --> 00:05:34,010
I've been saying that for years!
149
00:05:34,549 --> 00:05:37,478
- Well, this is my Thunderdome.
- Ah.
150
00:05:37,869 --> 00:05:40,381
This gym reminds me of
Willicot County High.
151
00:05:40,414 --> 00:05:43,183
Go Segregates! [Laughs]
152
00:05:43,439 --> 00:05:46,487
- I was a basketball cheerleader.
- Pffft, what?
153
00:05:46,838 --> 00:05:49,356
I was a basketball cheerleader.
154
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:50,959
Hmm...
155
00:05:50,991 --> 00:05:53,027
[Marching band playing]
156
00:05:54,561 --> 00:05:56,830
[Both vocalizing]
157
00:05:56,864 --> 00:05:57,899
Boom! Boom!
158
00:05:57,931 --> 00:05:59,667
Pow! Pow! Tsssssst.
159
00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:00,868
[Whistle blows]
160
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,736
[Laughs]
161
00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:05,240
Now you're speaking my language!
162
00:06:05,870 --> 00:06:09,690
You know what? In all the years I've
been whipping schools into shape,
163
00:06:09,943 --> 00:06:11,323
the one thing that I have learned
164
00:06:11,348 --> 00:06:14,081
is that the athletics department
is the backbone of any school.
165
00:06:14,114 --> 00:06:16,717
[Scoffs] Now you're
speaking my language.
166
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:20,020
Yeah, but I can't help noticing you
got periods one through five off.
167
00:06:20,054 --> 00:06:21,688
What do you say you help me out?
168
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,424
I can't. I usually use
that time to help Loren.
169
00:06:24,449 --> 00:06:27,431
- He has a lot of small emergencies.
- Loren? Who's she?
170
00:06:27,525 --> 00:06:29,806
[Scoffs] He's the
coolest guy in school.
171
00:06:29,831 --> 00:06:31,365
Come on, Fairbell.
172
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:34,755
I need a strong man with a...
173
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,095
masculine name like...
174
00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:40,327
Fairbell.
175
00:06:40,352 --> 00:06:43,123
- Now I'm speaking your language.
- Yeah, all right. Sure, sure.
176
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:44,313
So, it's settled then?
177
00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:46,173
- You'll be my new assistant?
- Now, we're speaking...
178
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,092
Okay, why don't we do
quiet time now, okay?
179
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,186
- [Laughs] And I can still hear you.
- _
180
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,322
I was so quiet though.
181
00:06:54,255 --> 00:06:56,724
[Snoring]
182
00:06:56,756 --> 00:06:58,425
Oh, I can't believe I'm here.
183
00:06:58,458 --> 00:07:00,094
There's no easy way to put this, I...
184
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,895
Your vasectomy's
causing you agony, yeah.
185
00:07:01,929 --> 00:07:03,640
I saw you crab-walk
into school this morning.
186
00:07:03,664 --> 00:07:05,567
It's a little more
complicated than that.
187
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,402
See, I went in for a
vasectomy, but then for $75,
188
00:07:08,436 --> 00:07:12,106
the doctor upsold me to
a reverse circumcision.
189
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,632
- A French bris?
- Yeah.
190
00:07:13,657 --> 00:07:15,609
You actually let a
doctor do that to you?
191
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,412
My parents just took my foreskin.
192
00:07:17,445 --> 00:07:19,747
- They never even asked.
- Okay, this is fantastic.
193
00:07:19,780 --> 00:07:21,291
- Let me have a look.
- I'm not gonna just...
194
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:23,585
All right, let me have a
look-see. Come on. Drop it.
195
00:07:24,489 --> 00:07:27,239
- [Groans]
- [Laughs]
196
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:31,567
Oh, well, I am blown away by
your professionalism, Doctor.
197
00:07:31,592 --> 00:07:33,815
Yeah, well, that's the last time
you'll be blown anytime soon, so...
198
00:07:33,839 --> 00:07:36,440
- Ha-ha-ha. What are you doing?
- [Camera shutter clicks]
199
00:07:36,464 --> 00:07:38,609
- What are you doing?
- Relax, it's for medical purposes.
200
00:07:38,633 --> 00:07:39,767
- Oh, come on.
- [Laughs]
201
00:07:39,799 --> 00:07:43,138
- You better not post that on Facebook.
- Like I'm gonna do that.
202
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:46,106
God. You're so paranoid.
203
00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:47,775
And... [Sniffles]
204
00:07:47,808 --> 00:07:48,882
[Dinging]
205
00:07:48,907 --> 00:07:49,953
- What is that?
- What's what?
206
00:07:49,977 --> 00:07:51,020
- What was that sound?
- What sound?
207
00:07:51,043 --> 00:07:52,321
What are those sounds?
What are those beeps?
208
00:07:52,345 --> 00:07:53,537
- What's happening? That...
- What are you talking about?
209
00:07:53,561 --> 00:07:55,341
What's that dinging? It
sounds like a notification.
210
00:07:55,365 --> 00:07:56,872
- There's not a sound going on.
- It sounds like...
211
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:59,317
- Where'd they, uh, get the skin from?
- I'm not quite sure.
212
00:07:59,342 --> 00:08:02,422
The doctor just had a bunch of
color swatches draped over his wrist.
213
00:08:02,455 --> 00:08:05,626
I'm somewhere between rustic
barn and Christmas ham.
214
00:08:05,674 --> 00:08:08,724
Yeah, well, now looks
more like old penny
215
00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:10,698
'cause your body is
clearly rejecting this.
216
00:08:10,731 --> 00:08:12,457
Well, I'm not gonna give it back
217
00:08:12,482 --> 00:08:15,303
just because I'm having
some slight reaction to it.
218
00:08:15,335 --> 00:08:19,007
Okay, there is nothing slight about
what's going on down there right now.
219
00:08:19,039 --> 00:08:21,543
Looks like your penis is
wearing capicola as a turtleneck.
220
00:08:21,576 --> 00:08:23,311
- Oh, God.
- All right, sorry, buddy.
221
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,064
There is nothing that Western
medicine can do for you at this point.
222
00:08:26,096 --> 00:08:27,165
- What?
- Okay.
223
00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:29,049
Oh, well, thanks for nothing, you quack.
224
00:08:29,082 --> 00:08:30,517
- All right, okay.
- Oh, God.
225
00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:32,486
- Why did I show you my penis?
- I don't know.
226
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,827
Get back to doping
ball players, you loser.
227
00:08:34,936 --> 00:08:37,692
All right. Well, don't play with
it. You're only making it worse.
228
00:08:40,022 --> 00:08:43,497
- [Exhales] That was close.
- Yeah a little too close if you ask me.
229
00:08:43,530 --> 00:08:45,956
- I'm not asking. I'm telling.
- Hey, look at that.
230
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,850
- Up to 115 "Likes."
- Ooh, nice. Share it with me.
231
00:08:49,117 --> 00:08:50,835
- Wait, we're not Facebook friends?
- We're not.
232
00:08:50,859 --> 00:08:52,587
- We're not Face... I'm over the limit.
- How are we not Facebook friends?
233
00:08:52,611 --> 00:08:54,684
- You're at the 5,000 friends?
- I have 5,000 friends.
234
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:55,885
Okay, you know most of those are bots.
235
00:08:55,909 --> 00:08:57,321
- They are not bots.
- They are definitely...
236
00:08:57,345 --> 00:08:59,021
- Those are all fine friends.
- They're definitely a bot.
237
00:08:59,045 --> 00:09:00,690
- What do you want me to do with this?
- Text it to me.
238
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,750
- Copy that.
- All right, cool.
239
00:09:05,672 --> 00:09:07,789
Easy on me. Go easy.
240
00:09:07,820 --> 00:09:09,731
Well, Fairbell's MIA.
241
00:09:09,779 --> 00:09:13,630
Missed our third period game of catch,
which is nuts, 'cause he lives for that.
242
00:09:13,685 --> 00:09:15,079
Geez, if I could just
get the stream started.
243
00:09:15,103 --> 00:09:17,037
- It's like an Elmer's glue bottle.
- Exactly.
244
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,339
He's been glued to Cattie's
side since this morning.
245
00:09:19,373 --> 00:09:21,898
Saw them walking
through the quad earlier.
246
00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:24,625
- He had this stupid smile on his face.
- [Groaning]
247
00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:27,047
- It was pathetic.
- There's no control.
248
00:09:27,072 --> 00:09:30,026
- I know. I can't control him anymore.
- [Pained breathing]
249
00:09:30,051 --> 00:09:33,529
I guess I didn't realize how
reliant I've become on Fairbell.
250
00:09:33,562 --> 00:09:36,698
Like, right now for example... How
do I know when I'm finished peeing?
251
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:38,370
- Oh, God.
- He usually dabs me dry.
252
00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:40,581
Stay on. Don't go anywhere.
Please. Don't go anywhere.
253
00:09:40,606 --> 00:09:42,363
I'm not gonna stay
here. I'm done peeing.
254
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:45,686
Now there's no mint, no
cigarette, no cologne.
255
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:48,648
Guess I'll just wash
my own hands. Perfect.
256
00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:53,315
What have I done?
257
00:09:55,751 --> 00:09:57,886
- [Organ music playing]
- Fairbell!
258
00:09:58,246 --> 00:10:00,180
- There you are.
- Jesus Christ!
259
00:10:00,214 --> 00:10:01,724
Well, that looks historically accurate.
260
00:10:01,748 --> 00:10:05,345
Where the hell have you been? I have had
several small emergencies this morning.
261
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:07,959
[Sighs] I'm sorry. Cattie has me
super busy redecorating her office.
262
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,368
Cattie, Cattie, Cattie.
It's all you talk about.
263
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,560
You missed our game of catch.
264
00:10:11,593 --> 00:10:13,238
Wait, you weren't
playing Cattie, were you?
265
00:10:13,261 --> 00:10:15,184
- What? No.
- Dude, were you?
266
00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:17,132
Look, she's just a
new little lady in town
267
00:10:17,165 --> 00:10:18,967
who said she needs a
big man to help her out.
268
00:10:18,999 --> 00:10:21,402
Yeah, exactly. So why
is she coming to you?
269
00:10:21,435 --> 00:10:22,912
- Don't you think that's suspicious?
- Dude, squeeze this.
270
00:10:22,936 --> 00:10:25,873
- Fairbell. Move your asses, molasses.
- Squeeze this.
271
00:10:25,906 --> 00:10:28,743
- Why's our savior on the floor?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
272
00:10:28,776 --> 00:10:30,779
Hey, this is the Loren
I was telling you about.
273
00:10:30,811 --> 00:10:32,913
Oh. Oh, you're Loren.
274
00:10:32,946 --> 00:10:34,248
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my mistake.
275
00:10:34,281 --> 00:10:36,321
I thought you might be a
lady with a name like that.
276
00:10:36,349 --> 00:10:37,652
- Oh, come on.
- I'm sorry.
277
00:10:37,685 --> 00:10:39,954
Are you one of those...
oh, what is the proper term?
278
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,257
I keep forgetting. Uh... tranny genders?
279
00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:45,592
Okay, that is definitely not the
proper term, and, no, I'm not.
280
00:10:45,626 --> 00:10:47,929
Oh, well, don't get your
ball-hiding panties in a twist.
281
00:10:47,961 --> 00:10:49,797
- They're Sean John's.
- Hey, Fairbell.
282
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,831
How about lunch... you and I, my treat?
283
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,734
- Ruby Tuesday's, the clean one.
- What?
284
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:55,136
- What, the clean one?
- Yeah.
285
00:10:55,169 --> 00:10:58,181
I love that place. I'm... I'm
straight up hooked on their rib plates.
286
00:10:58,205 --> 00:11:00,319
Oh, well, I'm sorry, Laura, but, uh,
287
00:11:00,351 --> 00:11:03,997
the caddy only holds two, and,
uh, I like to stretch out. So...
288
00:11:04,022 --> 00:11:05,146
- [Laughs]
- Cattie's caddy.
289
00:11:05,179 --> 00:11:06,589
- I get it. I get it.
- Did you get that?
290
00:11:06,613 --> 00:11:07,991
- Cattie's caddy.
- You like it? I know.
291
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,719
Cattie's caddy. Ca...
292
00:11:09,891 --> 00:11:12,120
Well, honey, we can't miss
you if you don't leave.
293
00:11:12,152 --> 00:11:13,787
[Laughs] There you go.
294
00:11:13,820 --> 00:11:16,757
[Sighs] I'm sorry about
this. I think it's okay.
295
00:11:16,791 --> 00:11:18,292
- It didn't break.
- Oh, no worries.
296
00:11:18,325 --> 00:11:20,128
J.C.'s been through worse. Believe me.
297
00:11:20,161 --> 00:11:22,296
- What do you mean?
- Oh, you don't know?
298
00:11:22,329 --> 00:11:24,932
Oh, he was savagely beaten by Jews.
299
00:11:24,965 --> 00:11:27,034
Yeah, I'll tell you the
whole story on the ride.
300
00:11:27,068 --> 00:11:28,803
Gave him highlights myself.
301
00:11:29,029 --> 00:11:30,805
How about a pie?
302
00:11:32,549 --> 00:11:35,586
303
00:11:36,676 --> 00:11:37,945
- Hey, Abbey.
- Hmm?
304
00:11:37,979 --> 00:11:41,315
Listen, the library doesn't have any
books on, like, potions, elixirs, or...
305
00:11:41,349 --> 00:11:43,651
- Yeah, I get it. I'm a witch.
- What? No.
306
00:11:43,684 --> 00:11:46,554
Nobody gives a [bleep] about
your stupid problems, okay?
307
00:11:46,586 --> 00:11:49,456
I'm having an abnormal medical
condition, and I need help.
308
00:11:49,488 --> 00:11:51,401
- Really? What?
- Okay, well, a friend of mine...
309
00:11:51,425 --> 00:11:52,527
- I know it's you.
- Okay.
310
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,161
But you can't tell anybody, all right?
311
00:11:54,195 --> 00:11:56,330
I went in and I had a vasectomy,
312
00:11:56,355 --> 00:11:59,558
- and they upsold me to a French bris.
- What's that?
313
00:11:59,599 --> 00:12:02,826
I had the top hat put back on Lincoln.
314
00:12:04,037 --> 00:12:05,672
You had a reverse circumcision?!
315
00:12:05,705 --> 00:12:08,508
- Keep your voice down, okay?
- No, no, no, no. I will help you.
316
00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:10,577
- I'm basically a doctor.
- You are a doula.
317
00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:12,246
That is in no way a doctor.
318
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,382
- No, that's, like, 0.9 a doctor.
- That is 0.4 a nanny, Abbey.
319
00:12:15,416 --> 00:12:17,417
Just show me your weird [bleep]
320
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:20,210
You know what? How about I draw
you a picture? That'll do it.
321
00:12:20,235 --> 00:12:23,091
That'll get your mind
in the right place.
322
00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:24,758
Maybe on this side.
323
00:12:24,791 --> 00:12:26,661
And one there, too.
324
00:12:26,694 --> 00:12:29,197
And then this weird line thing.
325
00:12:29,229 --> 00:12:30,397
Something like that.
326
00:12:30,430 --> 00:12:32,850
No, that is not a thing. There's
no way that it looks like that.
327
00:12:32,874 --> 00:12:34,709
Just show it to me. There's nobody here.
328
00:12:34,734 --> 00:12:36,570
Okay, all right.
329
00:12:38,704 --> 00:12:40,722
[Groans]
330
00:12:40,748 --> 00:12:41,750
[Laughing] Oh, my...
331
00:12:41,783 --> 00:12:45,620
[Gasps] Oh, my God! That is
exactly what it looks like.
332
00:12:46,206 --> 00:12:48,416
- Is that an eye?
- No, it's a drain port.
333
00:12:48,449 --> 00:12:50,418
Oh, it's looking at me.
334
00:12:50,443 --> 00:12:53,713
It follows me just like
in the Haunted Mansion.
335
00:12:53,753 --> 00:12:54,758
- I'm holding it still.
- Oh, my God.
336
00:12:54,782 --> 00:12:57,892
That is definitely the
ugliest penis I've ever seen!
337
00:12:57,925 --> 00:13:00,895
Oh, God. I knew I couldn't trust you.
338
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,265
- [Groans] I'm out of here.
- Wait, wait, wait!
339
00:13:03,296 --> 00:13:04,882
- No, no, no, I will help you.
- Why?
340
00:13:04,907 --> 00:13:06,880
So you can keep making
fun of me about it
341
00:13:06,905 --> 00:13:08,788
and telling me all it's
missing is neck bolts?
342
00:13:08,813 --> 00:13:12,883
No, although that is a good joke and I
wish that I had thought of that. But...
343
00:13:12,908 --> 00:13:15,618
but, no, Shoemaker. I will
help you because I'm you're best
344
00:13:15,642 --> 00:13:16,793
- chance...
- Friend?
345
00:13:16,818 --> 00:13:19,747
No, I am your best chance
at having a normal penis.
346
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:21,582
Oh, yeah. I'm so... normal penis.
347
00:13:21,607 --> 00:13:23,506
Yeah, I thought you were gonna go on
about how we were friends again.
348
00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:25,294
- I'm sorry. Listen.
- [Sighs]
349
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:26,894
- What do I do?
- Uh, well, okay.
350
00:13:26,921 --> 00:13:29,891
Your body is clearly
rejecting your new foreskin,
351
00:13:29,924 --> 00:13:31,326
so I would elevate your [bleep]
352
00:13:31,358 --> 00:13:34,061
But in the meantime,
I'll make a poultice.
353
00:13:34,094 --> 00:13:35,504
I'll go to the Dark Forest
354
00:13:35,529 --> 00:13:38,265
and I'll scour the forest
floor for twigs and berries.
355
00:13:38,298 --> 00:13:41,066
[Cackles] [Gasps]
356
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,025
Oh, wait, wait, wait! No,
no, no, no, no! No, no!
357
00:13:43,049 --> 00:13:46,007
This is not witchcraft. This
is just natural medicine.
358
00:13:46,485 --> 00:13:48,827
- Oh, my God. I am not a witch!
- [Groans]
359
00:13:48,852 --> 00:13:51,346
Abbey, you asshole!
360
00:13:51,378 --> 00:13:53,113
God! Abbey!
361
00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:55,483
[Groans]
362
00:13:56,274 --> 00:13:58,551
You hit the drain port.
363
00:14:00,653 --> 00:14:01,955
Tell me to unpack boxes.
364
00:14:01,988 --> 00:14:05,827
I've been here 16 years, and this
bitch's got me unpacking boxes!
365
00:14:05,859 --> 00:14:09,030
And I tell you something else. I'm
a better principal than she is, too.
366
00:14:09,062 --> 00:14:10,664
I know I'm a better principal.
367
00:14:10,698 --> 00:14:14,135
And then this bitch is gonna tell me
that I can't go to the teacher's lounge?
368
00:14:14,167 --> 00:14:16,937
I'll go to the teacher's
lounge if I want to!
369
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:18,205
[Sighs]
370
00:14:18,238 --> 00:14:20,541
You're really handling this well, Tammy.
371
00:14:20,574 --> 00:14:22,977
The bitch has got to go.
372
00:14:23,009 --> 00:14:25,388
Hey, you're not the only one
with Cattie problems, all right?
373
00:14:25,412 --> 00:14:28,549
She took my Fairbell. Now I
got nobody to go to lunch with!
374
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:31,018
I'll go to lunch with you.
375
00:14:32,231 --> 00:14:33,797
[Exhales]
376
00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:39,326
Julie. Julie, we should go to lunch.
377
00:14:39,359 --> 00:14:41,829
Oh, I actually brought
my lunch from home.
378
00:14:42,138 --> 00:14:44,381
- But you're welcome to half of it?
- Yeah, what do you... what do you got?
379
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:47,902
- Yeah, it's a vegan tempe burger...
- [Gags]
380
00:14:47,935 --> 00:14:50,204
- with a gluten-free bun...
- Oh, God.
381
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:51,738
- cashew cheese...
- Jesus.
382
00:14:51,772 --> 00:14:52,983
- fruit yeast dressing.
- No.
383
00:14:53,007 --> 00:14:54,554
- I mean, it's...
- No, no.
384
00:14:54,579 --> 00:14:55,676
Okay.
385
00:14:55,709 --> 00:14:58,963
[Sighs] All right, Dan.
Clean Ruby Tuesday's?
386
00:14:58,988 --> 00:15:01,849
[Scoffs] Like I can afford a clean one.
387
00:15:01,882 --> 00:15:04,886
I do know a great little
ramen place near there.
388
00:15:04,919 --> 00:15:07,188
I was gonna go there anyway.
389
00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:08,522
Alone.
390
00:15:08,555 --> 00:15:10,825
I have to pick up a few things.
391
00:15:10,858 --> 00:15:13,027
- I do like ramen.
- Then it's a date!
392
00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:15,563
No, we're just getting...
we're just gonna get lunch, Dan.
393
00:15:15,595 --> 00:15:17,247
- Okay.
- [Sighs]
394
00:15:18,364 --> 00:15:20,767
- Dan, come on.
- I'm going on a date!
395
00:15:20,801 --> 00:15:22,103
Don't... don't...
396
00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:28,376
Oh.
397
00:15:28,408 --> 00:15:29,418
Oh.
398
00:15:30,142 --> 00:15:32,002
-
Meow, meow, meow
- [Bell dings]
399
00:15:33,446 --> 00:15:34,448
Meow, meow, meow
400
00:15:34,482 --> 00:15:36,250
[Meows]
401
00:15:36,748 --> 00:15:38,452
Meow, meow, meow
402
00:15:38,485 --> 00:15:40,053
[Meowing]
403
00:15:40,086 --> 00:15:41,955
Meow, meow, meow
404
00:15:44,989 --> 00:15:47,929
Ugh, how did you even
find this place, Trebin?
405
00:15:47,961 --> 00:15:51,298
Well, cat-ramen caf?s
are big in rural Japan.
406
00:15:51,331 --> 00:15:54,869
Yeah, well, this is disgusting.
And where's that gyoza?
407
00:15:55,269 --> 00:15:56,558
Ugh.
408
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,873
- Never mind.
- We work as a team.
409
00:15:59,906 --> 00:16:03,310
I like noodles. They
like the salty broth.
410
00:16:03,344 --> 00:16:05,445
Yeah, that's just great, Dan.
411
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,851
[Slurps]
412
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:10,059
And then I said, "The
lord is my shepherd!
413
00:16:10,084 --> 00:16:12,219
"I shall not want, but
I want that handbag!
414
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:13,894
- " I want that handbag!"
- You did not!
415
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,165
- You did not!
- That's what I said, and...
416
00:16:15,189 --> 00:16:16,569
[Laughter]
417
00:16:16,594 --> 00:16:18,792
Handbag! You crack me up!
418
00:16:18,825 --> 00:16:20,360
I think I...
419
00:16:21,461 --> 00:16:23,296
Hey, Dan, when we're done here,
420
00:16:23,329 --> 00:16:25,954
do you want to maybe go
clothes shopping? You know...
421
00:16:26,448 --> 00:16:28,969
just a couple of buds looking
for some tight new threads?
422
00:16:29,003 --> 00:16:31,472
I'm actually shopping right now.
423
00:16:31,504 --> 00:16:33,971
Oh, I like the bones on that one.
424
00:16:33,996 --> 00:16:36,944
- It's a great example.
- An example of what?
425
00:16:36,977 --> 00:16:38,613
- Of cats!
- You know what, Dan?
426
00:16:38,646 --> 00:16:40,014
I tried... I really did.
427
00:16:40,046 --> 00:16:42,158
I gave it my all, but I'd
like to go back to school now.
428
00:16:42,182 --> 00:16:43,925
Please drive me back to
the school right now, Dan.
429
00:16:43,949 --> 00:16:47,461
Not yet! I'm about to snag some puss.
430
00:16:47,488 --> 00:16:51,825
Okay! Well, now we're talking.
A little wing-man action, huh?
431
00:16:51,858 --> 00:16:53,169
I'm down. Who you got your eye on?
432
00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:55,462
I like that dirty
little Calico over there.
433
00:16:55,504 --> 00:16:58,207
- Goddamn it.
- I need you to run a distraction
434
00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:00,968
- in about six seconds.
- What are you talking about?
435
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,171
I'm gonna grab me some of these cats.
436
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:05,664
- Dan, are you nuts?
- Nuts like a fox.
437
00:17:05,696 --> 00:17:08,257
- Okay, no, I'm not grabbing a cat.
- Three, two, one!
438
00:17:08,282 --> 00:17:09,735
- I'm not gonna help you, you freak!
- Hey, everybody!
439
00:17:09,759 --> 00:17:11,781
I saw this guy touch up a kid!
440
00:17:11,806 --> 00:17:13,693
- What?!
- Yeah, I swear!
441
00:17:13,718 --> 00:17:16,802
No, no... Dan, what are you talking...
442
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,662
I didn't touch any... I
didn't touch any... Hey.
443
00:17:18,686 --> 00:17:20,121
- Pedo!
- Get your hands off me!
444
00:17:20,153 --> 00:17:21,154
- You get your...
- Pedo.
445
00:17:21,188 --> 00:17:22,489
Hey, don't touch me!
446
00:17:22,523 --> 00:17:25,059
Rot in hell, pedo!
447
00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:27,378
Guys!
448
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:31,864
Together:
Move along, I'm just
a worm beneath your boot heel
449
00:17:31,896 --> 00:17:34,670
Scrape me up and
give me a second life
450
00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:36,829
I'm worthless, I'm nothing
451
00:17:36,863 --> 00:17:39,036
-
You shouldn't love me
-
But I do
452
00:17:39,061 --> 00:17:41,467
-
Worthless!
-
Worthless
453
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:45,138
You were right, Cattie. This is
way better than regular soft rock.
454
00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:47,307
And we don't go to hell
for listening to it.
455
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:49,091
See? Now you're getting it!
456
00:17:49,116 --> 00:17:52,583
Hey, hey! That's Loren. That's
L... Can we stop and pick him up?
457
00:17:52,608 --> 00:17:54,482
Fairbell, didn't your mom
ever teach you anything?
458
00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:56,549
It's dangerous to pick up a hitchhiker.
459
00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:58,421
No, he's not a hitchhiker.
He's my best friend.
460
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,826
Anyone without a car is
not your friend, Fairbell.
461
00:18:00,851 --> 00:18:02,451
I'm gonna teach him a lesson.
462
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:05,579
[Tires screech, horn honks]
463
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,278
[Gags]
464
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:09,897
[Laughs] Did I get him?
465
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:10,998
- Yes.
- I got him good.
466
00:18:11,030 --> 00:18:12,135
I'm worthless
467
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,270
-
'Cause he is worthless
-
Worthless
468
00:18:14,768 --> 00:18:19,039
Abbey: My pretties. [Cackles]
469
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,482
Ooh!
470
00:18:21,507 --> 00:18:23,115
There you are.
471
00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:25,443
There you are. [Cackles]
472
00:18:25,468 --> 00:18:27,135
[Horn honks]
473
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:30,549
Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no! This is not what it looks like.
474
00:18:30,574 --> 00:18:34,824
I... I just... I... We're
gonna laugh about this later!
475
00:18:35,263 --> 00:18:36,263
- [Engine revs]
- Wait.
476
00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:38,304
- [Coughs]
- [Crows caw]
477
00:18:38,557 --> 00:18:41,593
Oh, my God. I got to turn my car off.
478
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,819
And that, class...
479
00:18:48,844 --> 00:18:51,730
is roughly how the
Haymarket affair started.
480
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:54,234
Now, does anybody have any questions...
481
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,671
not related to why I'm laying like this?
482
00:18:58,213 --> 00:19:00,166
- That's what I thought.
- [School bell rings]
483
00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:04,136
Make sure you turn in your
papers before I arrive.
484
00:19:04,161 --> 00:19:06,831
And don't bump the desk. I
will not come back from that.
485
00:19:06,856 --> 00:19:08,647
Don't you touch that desk.
486
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:11,831
Hey, Shoemaker. Look, I know
this sounds weird, but...
487
00:19:11,856 --> 00:19:13,452
- do you want to play catch?
- What?
488
00:19:13,477 --> 00:19:16,589
I could really use it. You would
not believe the day I'm having.
489
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,772
Oh, yeah, I'm having a
pretty normal day myself.
490
00:19:18,797 --> 00:19:20,594
Yeah, well, lucky you, pal.
491
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,762
Ever since Fairbell ran off with
Cattie, I've been living a nightmare.
492
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:26,099
Poor bastard can't even
tell he's being used.
493
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:29,010
- You mean like you used him?
- I never used Fairbell.
494
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,447
I rescued him!
495
00:19:30,472 --> 00:19:32,447
Remember how before I
started hanging out with him,
496
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,840
he's just stay in his
office all cooped up,
497
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,677
tearing out clumps of his
hair, destroying furniture...
498
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,645
and I was like, "Fairbells
have to go outside.
499
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,948
You got to throw the ball
to him every now and again.
500
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,617
Get him heart-warm pills, put
a chip underneath his skin."
501
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,219
[Groans]
502
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:49,023
Oh, my God. I think it
dried to my underwear.
503
00:19:49,048 --> 00:19:51,305
- What dried to your underwear?
- My foreskin.
504
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:53,492
- Ugh.
- Where's Abbey with the poultice.
505
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,424
Oh, God! [Groans]
506
00:19:56,306 --> 00:19:57,730
- Jesus.
- Get out of my way!
507
00:19:58,025 --> 00:20:01,701
Glad I didn't ask him
to lunch. Waa-waa-waa.
508
00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:07,374
- God, hurry up.
- You can't rush nature's medicine.
509
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:10,977
[Exhales sharply] Okay, I
think it's done. Drop trou.
510
00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:12,115
Great.
511
00:20:12,506 --> 00:20:13,775
Mm, mnh-mnh.
512
00:20:14,202 --> 00:20:15,350
- Oh, God.
- Ohh.
513
00:20:15,905 --> 00:20:18,718
Okay. Let's get these...
514
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:20,554
- [Tear] Ahh!
- Ohh!
515
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,822
- [Tearing]
- [Screaming]
516
00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:26,425
I think the barnacle fused to the hole!
517
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,252
Let me do it. You have to
rip it off like a band-aid!
518
00:20:28,276 --> 00:20:29,799
No, no, no. I want an ambulance.
519
00:20:29,824 --> 00:20:32,566
- I don't want you to do that.
- Oh, you are such a man.
520
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:35,597
You know, the worst pain that
anyone can go through is childbirth.
521
00:20:35,622 --> 00:20:38,672
Babies aren't ripped
off the heads of penises!
522
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:41,740
- Bite down on this.
- What? Bite down? I don't think I...
523
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:44,355
- [Muffled] I don't think...
- One, two...
524
00:20:44,388 --> 00:20:45,590
[Tear]
525
00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:48,880
- Okay, okay.
- Oh, God! Did it come off?! Is it free?
526
00:20:48,905 --> 00:20:52,926
I think I just need to grease the
old pan a little bit more here.
527
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:54,720
Oh, God, no.
528
00:20:55,101 --> 00:20:56,507
One, two... three!
529
00:20:56,532 --> 00:20:58,535
- [Tear]
- [Screams, groans]
530
00:21:03,590 --> 00:21:05,131
Okay, good.
531
00:21:05,527 --> 00:21:07,633
Well, the bad news is that foreskin
532
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:09,535
- is gonna come completely off.
- Okay.
533
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,770
The good news is you're
taking this like a man,
534
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,550
and I always thought
you were a little bitch!
535
00:21:13,574 --> 00:21:15,476
- Okay, that's nice of...
- [Tear]
536
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,912
[High pitched] Ahhhhhhhhhh!
537
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,948
538
00:21:26,449 --> 00:21:28,450
Cattie: Hey, great first day, coach.
539
00:21:28,730 --> 00:21:30,481
You know what the good book says.
540
00:21:30,786 --> 00:21:32,886
"Cleanliness is next to Godliness."
541
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:35,555
- See you, ma?ana?
- Cattie.
542
00:21:36,075 --> 00:21:38,457
First I want to thank
you for saving me forever.
543
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:41,121
- Aww.
- And I like helping you out, but...
544
00:21:41,146 --> 00:21:42,902
I need to concentrate on my other job...
545
00:21:43,082 --> 00:21:44,599
- friendship.
- With Laura?
546
00:21:44,624 --> 00:21:47,900
Honey, you pick his laundry
and you park his car.
547
00:21:47,934 --> 00:21:50,537
That don't sound like
a friendship to me.
548
00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:51,972
You're right.
549
00:21:52,632 --> 00:21:54,608
It's a best friendship!
550
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,709
What? Wh...
551
00:21:56,743 --> 00:21:59,124
Well, now, that's just stupid.
552
00:21:59,992 --> 00:22:03,951
Tammy, I'm gonna need you to put
some sparkle on these window, darling.
553
00:22:03,984 --> 00:22:05,918
Be there in a minute.
554
00:22:05,952 --> 00:22:07,321
- [Giggles]
- _
555
00:22:07,353 --> 00:22:10,423
556
00:22:15,794 --> 00:22:18,764
Fairbell: Hey, you're getting
pretty good at those pop flies.
557
00:22:18,798 --> 00:22:22,602
Yeah, I've had a lot of time
to practice... by myself.
558
00:22:22,635 --> 00:22:25,238
Wait a minute. I recognize that voice.
559
00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:28,127
Fairbell! Come here, boy!
560
00:22:28,159 --> 00:22:30,811
Ba, ba
561
00:22:30,843 --> 00:22:34,413
Ba-bada-ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
562
00:22:34,446 --> 00:22:37,283
Ba, ba
563
00:22:37,317 --> 00:22:40,620
Ba-bada-ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
564
00:22:40,652 --> 00:22:43,289
Ba, ba
565
00:22:43,322 --> 00:22:47,026
Ba-bada-ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
566
00:22:47,060 --> 00:22:49,963
Ba, ba
567
00:22:49,995 --> 00:22:53,143
Ba-bada-ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
568
00:22:53,463 --> 00:22:54,869
Okay, boy, that's enough!
569
00:22:54,894 --> 00:22:57,304
- [Panting]
- That's enough, that's enough.
570
00:22:57,337 --> 00:22:59,138
[Exhales sharply] Boy, Fairbell.
571
00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:01,341
Never thought I'd say this,
but I really missed you.
572
00:23:01,573 --> 00:23:03,209
[Exhales sharply] I missed you, too.
573
00:23:03,243 --> 00:23:05,645
- Now, how about that catch?
- That sounds awesome.
574
00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:06,716
Let's do it.
575
00:23:06,741 --> 00:23:09,215
Hey, have you ever
heard of a lake of fire?
576
00:23:09,248 --> 00:23:11,109
Lake of fire? No. Why?
577
00:23:11,134 --> 00:23:13,601
Cattie says you and I are
going there in a hand basket.
578
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:14,661
Huh.
579
00:23:16,226 --> 00:23:18,225
- [Laughs]
- I wasn't ready.
580
00:23:18,257 --> 00:23:19,825
Here you go. Right here.
581
00:23:20,328 --> 00:23:21,628
A good day today
582
00:23:21,660 --> 00:23:23,445
Gonna keep this smile
583
00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:24,898
Classic Fairbell.
584
00:23:25,789 --> 00:23:28,502
Well, go get the ladder,
you dumb mother[bleep]
585
00:23:28,534 --> 00:23:30,137
Aye, aye, sir!
586
00:23:30,169 --> 00:23:32,138
- [Chuckles]
-
Good day today
587
00:23:32,171 --> 00:23:33,672
[Sighs]
588
00:23:33,706 --> 00:23:35,259
Now, students have claimed
589
00:23:35,284 --> 00:23:40,013
that they saw you and Mr. Shoemaker in
the library up to something suspicious.
590
00:23:40,392 --> 00:23:43,643
Something, oh, I don't
know, ritualistic, maybe?
591
00:23:43,678 --> 00:23:45,681
[Laughs]
592
00:23:48,778 --> 00:23:52,403
Principal Goodman, there is a
reasonable explanation for this.
593
00:23:52,428 --> 00:23:53,693
Shoemaker?
594
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:55,395
[Breathing heavily] She's the devil!
595
00:23:55,427 --> 00:23:57,697
- Abbey is the Goddamn devil.
- Mm-hmm.
596
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,035
Tammy, did you see a
black cat run in here?
597
00:24:03,069 --> 00:24:05,183
- Hell no.
- Ugh, God!
598
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,698
[Meows]
599
00:24:10,542 --> 00:24:12,111
[Groans]
600
00:24:12,145 --> 00:24:13,379
Oh, sh...
601
00:24:13,413 --> 00:24:15,682
Uh, you know what?
602
00:24:15,715 --> 00:24:18,417
Screw it. I'm a witch.
603
00:24:18,450 --> 00:24:20,886
There! Now, was that so hard?
604
00:24:21,312 --> 00:24:23,436
[Scoffs] Well, there's that darn cat.
605
00:24:23,461 --> 00:24:25,009
Abby if you're finished
with your witchcraft
606
00:24:25,033 --> 00:24:27,367
the ramen place wants
it back like yesterday.
607
00:24:27,417 --> 00:24:31,967
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
47385
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.