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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,063 --> 00:00:07,908 You're telling me that none of your prom stories were true? 2 00:00:07,933 --> 00:00:10,368 - I haven't had sex in 11 months. - Ohh! 3 00:00:10,436 --> 00:00:11,902 Well, if you must know, 4 00:00:12,004 --> 00:00:14,171 my wife and I are getting a divorce. 5 00:00:14,273 --> 00:00:16,139 Get out! Get out! 6 00:00:16,242 --> 00:00:17,941 - Ugh! - [Screams] 7 00:00:18,042 --> 00:00:20,343 Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton 8 00:00:20,445 --> 00:00:21,644 Rod? You're fired. 9 00:00:21,746 --> 00:00:23,713 - Give me one good reason. - Well, you're drunk. 10 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,848 Well, I suppose you heard that Principal Quinn 11 00:00:25,950 --> 00:00:27,416 was arrested earlier today. 12 00:00:27,518 --> 00:00:31,153 Apparently he exposed himself to a group of students 13 00:00:31,256 --> 00:00:32,989 in some sort of a school prank. 14 00:00:33,091 --> 00:00:35,191 - Aaah! - [All screaming] 15 00:00:35,293 --> 00:00:38,461 Point is, we have to have an interim principal 16 00:00:38,563 --> 00:00:39,563 before the gavel falls. 17 00:00:39,631 --> 00:00:40,796 Billy: Sit down, Fairbell. 18 00:00:40,898 --> 00:00:41,898 Tammy. 19 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:42,865 Wait. Tammy? 20 00:00:42,967 --> 00:00:44,233 Thank you. 21 00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:47,637 22 00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:53,650 [Emergency brake clicks] 23 00:00:53,745 --> 00:00:54,955 - [Up-tempo rock music plays] - _ 24 00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:56,345 [Chuckles] 25 00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:57,747 [Tires squeal] 26 00:01:00,485 --> 00:01:03,586 [Laughs] 27 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:04,987 What is Tammy's deal? 28 00:01:05,089 --> 00:01:06,500 I mean who calls a mandatory meeting 29 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,357 a week before school even starts? 30 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,838 Like you had anything better to be doing. 31 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:12,803 - Au, contraire mon fr?re. - [Scoffs] Not your fr?re. 32 00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:15,364 Right. Ever since Tampa and I split up, 33 00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:17,400 I've been having a crazy summer. 34 00:01:17,502 --> 00:01:19,402 Started taking some culinary classes. 35 00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:23,172 And I'm finally in a healthy and mature relationship. 36 00:01:23,274 --> 00:01:24,073 Hmm. 37 00:01:24,175 --> 00:01:25,875 What do you want me to do? 38 00:01:25,977 --> 00:01:28,244 You want me to eat it like I'm in a bread line? 39 00:01:28,346 --> 00:01:29,779 Oh, because I'm starving. 40 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,782 [Groans, gasps] 41 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,083 Billy! 42 00:01:34,185 --> 00:01:35,251 God! 43 00:01:35,353 --> 00:01:38,054 Are you doing phone sex with the deli meats again? 44 00:01:38,156 --> 00:01:39,355 I'm on my break, Jerry. 45 00:01:39,457 --> 00:01:42,491 Hey, I know you're having a hard time with the divorce... 46 00:01:42,593 --> 00:01:44,593 Okay, I already told you a bunch of times, 47 00:01:44,696 --> 00:01:46,662 it's not a divorce, it's a trial separation. 48 00:01:46,764 --> 00:01:47,963 And I'm fine. 49 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:49,131 I'm no love expert, 50 00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:51,567 but I do know that sometimes in life... 51 00:01:51,669 --> 00:01:53,135 Jerry, do you need something, Jerry? 52 00:01:53,237 --> 00:01:55,538 Is there something I could help you with, Jerry? 53 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,640 Chipotle-lime mayo. 54 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:57,907 I will get it out. 55 00:01:58,009 --> 00:02:00,042 Okay, thank you. Bye. 56 00:02:00,144 --> 00:02:01,210 Asshole. 57 00:02:01,312 --> 00:02:02,878 Well, I had a big dope summer myself. 58 00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:05,715 Me and my new bro Cody, we, like, ran the water park. 59 00:02:05,817 --> 00:02:08,098 - Dude. - Yep. I was basically his mentor. 60 00:02:08,152 --> 00:02:10,119 I'm sure. 61 00:02:11,889 --> 00:02:13,089 Check out that one. 62 00:02:13,191 --> 00:02:14,290 What do you think, 9? 63 00:02:14,392 --> 00:02:15,257 [Rock music playing] 64 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,494 You're right. 7 1/2. Whatever. 65 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:21,597 Well, Codes, been pretty great running deep into the night 66 00:02:21,699 --> 00:02:23,265 with you this summer, huh, bro? 67 00:02:23,368 --> 00:02:24,467 Did you say something? 68 00:02:24,569 --> 00:02:26,969 God, you are so cool, Cody. 69 00:02:27,071 --> 00:02:29,605 King of summer. King of summer! 70 00:02:29,707 --> 00:02:33,209 Man, that sounds cool. But you're not the only one who made some new friends. 71 00:02:33,311 --> 00:02:35,077 I picked up loads of guys. 72 00:02:35,179 --> 00:02:38,614 They wanted me to come, I came pretty quick. [Chuckles] 73 00:02:38,716 --> 00:02:40,316 You were an Uber driver weren't you? 74 00:02:40,418 --> 00:02:41,584 - Oh. - Close Lyft. 75 00:02:41,686 --> 00:02:42,251 Yeah. 76 00:02:42,353 --> 00:02:43,986 77 00:02:44,088 --> 00:02:46,155 Hey, are any of you guys Chad? 78 00:02:46,257 --> 00:02:47,289 We're all Chad. 79 00:02:47,392 --> 00:02:49,325 Oh, hey. I'm your Lyft driver. Hop on in. 80 00:02:49,427 --> 00:02:51,994 Welcome to the S.S. Pleasant Evening. 81 00:02:52,096 --> 00:02:54,263 Wow you guys strike out with the ladies already? 82 00:02:54,365 --> 00:02:55,765 [Chuckles] 83 00:02:55,867 --> 00:02:57,566 Do you guys like a lot of small talk 84 00:02:57,668 --> 00:02:59,535 or an excruciating amount of small talk? 85 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,204 Because my reviews say excruciating. 86 00:03:02,306 --> 00:03:03,706 You know what? 87 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,486 I really think we're gonna nail it this year. 88 00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:06,742 - I feel confident. - Yeah. 89 00:03:06,844 --> 00:03:07,676 - I feel good. - Good start. 90 00:03:07,779 --> 00:03:09,645 Good start, good chat guys. 91 00:03:09,747 --> 00:03:12,214 Aw, I just put my hand in gum! 92 00:03:12,316 --> 00:03:14,984 Ugh! Me too. 93 00:03:15,086 --> 00:03:16,318 94 00:03:16,421 --> 00:03:18,654 Quit wasting my time 95 00:03:18,756 --> 00:03:21,157 I ain't here for you 96 00:03:21,259 --> 00:03:23,459 I'm just putting in work 97 00:03:23,561 --> 00:03:25,591 Till my day is through 98 00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:29,301 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 99 00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:32,902 God, Tammy's really abusing this interim principal title. 100 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,537 Eh, Quinn will be acquitted 101 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:36,639 and we'll be back to no business as usual. 102 00:03:36,741 --> 00:03:37,741 Yeah, I hope so, man. 103 00:03:37,809 --> 00:03:38,952 I'm sorry I had to run out like that. 104 00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:41,177 I had to [chuckles] take a phone call. 105 00:03:41,279 --> 00:03:42,923 You mean from that phone you left on the table? 106 00:03:42,947 --> 00:03:44,591 Yeah, you were just in the middle of regaling us 107 00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,515 about your latest misguided white guilt trip. 108 00:03:46,617 --> 00:03:47,728 - Uh, it was not misguided. - No. 109 00:03:47,752 --> 00:03:50,553 I went to Motaba with Librarians Without Borders 110 00:03:50,655 --> 00:03:53,022 and, uh, we built them a library. 111 00:03:53,124 --> 00:03:55,024 It was probably the best summer of my life. 112 00:03:55,126 --> 00:03:58,160 Abby, unless those people can check clean drinking water 113 00:03:58,262 --> 00:04:00,329 out of that thing, that library is useless. 114 00:04:00,431 --> 00:04:03,299 Oh, my God. That is such an antiquated view of Africa. 115 00:04:03,401 --> 00:04:05,367 Do you know what these people wanted most of all? 116 00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:06,335 Old wedding gowns. 117 00:04:06,437 --> 00:04:07,203 Assault rifles. 118 00:04:07,305 --> 00:04:08,037 21 cents a day. 119 00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:09,238 Free reliable wi-fi. 120 00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:10,105 Man, look at these pictures. 121 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,507 Oh, gross. 122 00:04:11,609 --> 00:04:14,577 Abby, is that monkey spitting directly into your mouth? 123 00:04:14,679 --> 00:04:16,946 Uh, that is a baboon, and that is how they say hello. 124 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,915 The price for meeting a baboon is spit in my mouth? I'm down. 125 00:04:20,017 --> 00:04:21,250 [Stomach gurgles] 126 00:04:21,352 --> 00:04:25,588 I'm sorry, I-I-I-I-I-I have to, um, sort the card catalogue. 127 00:04:25,681 --> 00:04:27,547 Mm-hmm. [Stomach grumbles] 128 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,518 - Okay, she has dysentery right? - She definitely has dysentery. 129 00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:32,172 - She's sweating... - Yeah. I think she's just busy. 130 00:04:32,196 --> 00:04:34,296 - No. - [Brass ensemble plays fanfare] 131 00:04:34,398 --> 00:04:36,232 I saw them warming up outside 132 00:04:36,334 --> 00:04:38,145 and I thought I'd take advantage with a little fanfare. 133 00:04:38,169 --> 00:04:39,368 [Laughs] 134 00:04:39,470 --> 00:04:42,104 Tammy, that is the worst OutKast video I've ever seen. 135 00:04:42,507 --> 00:04:44,117 - [Brass ensemble plays note] - It's a new year, 136 00:04:44,141 --> 00:04:47,443 and as your principal, I believe in forgiving and forgetting. 137 00:04:47,545 --> 00:04:49,111 And in the spirit of forgiveness, 138 00:04:49,213 --> 00:04:51,647 I'd like to welcome back Mr. Rod Knorr. 139 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,849 - What? - Are you serious? 140 00:04:53,951 --> 00:04:55,217 - Hello. - [Chuckling] Rod! 141 00:04:55,319 --> 00:04:57,419 Yeah, bud. Welcome back! 142 00:04:57,522 --> 00:04:58,587 Uh, all right. 143 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:02,224 Holy [bleep]. The prodigal souse returns. 144 00:05:02,326 --> 00:05:03,326 [Chuckling] Right? 145 00:05:03,361 --> 00:05:04,838 Hey, I'm as surprised as you guys are 146 00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:06,195 to see me back here, all right? 147 00:05:06,297 --> 00:05:08,564 But, uh, I'm in the program now, okay? 148 00:05:08,666 --> 00:05:11,267 I've got 6 months of sobriety under my belt. 149 00:05:11,369 --> 00:05:12,735 - Oh, no. - I'm a new Rod. 150 00:05:12,837 --> 00:05:14,603 [Laughing] 151 00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:15,905 Gross. 152 00:05:16,007 --> 00:05:19,975 And I want to take this time to apologize for old Rod. 153 00:05:20,077 --> 00:05:22,478 I'm just glad to be back and, uh, really looking forward 154 00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:24,313 to taking advantage of this second chance. 155 00:05:24,415 --> 00:05:25,915 God, will he shut up already? 156 00:05:26,017 --> 00:05:28,450 I'm getting a cavity just listening to this garbage. 157 00:05:28,553 --> 00:05:30,073 I'm confused. How many Rods are there? 158 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,687 Is this like a back to the future? 159 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,267 Rod: Principal Sherman, I was thinking that this would 160 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,990 be a great time to take this upcoming week 161 00:05:35,092 --> 00:05:36,970 to maybe spruce the place up a little bit, you know? 162 00:05:36,994 --> 00:05:38,274 Really show the students we care 163 00:05:38,362 --> 00:05:40,296 and are invested in their education, you know? 164 00:05:40,398 --> 00:05:41,730 And I just... I know idle hands 165 00:05:41,832 --> 00:05:43,666 - always got me in trouble. - Oh, really? 166 00:05:43,768 --> 00:05:45,979 'Cause I thought it was the gallons and gallons of alcohol. 167 00:05:46,003 --> 00:05:47,303 [Laughs] 168 00:05:47,405 --> 00:05:49,583 That is the exact attitude that I am talking about, Rod. 169 00:05:49,607 --> 00:05:50,773 He says, "I can tell you..." 170 00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:53,208 And you three can help him out. 171 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,777 Gum duty. 172 00:05:54,879 --> 00:05:55,644 - Gum duty? - Get to it. 173 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:56,979 Hey, thanks a lot, Rod. 174 00:05:57,081 --> 00:06:00,282 Yeah, it's super awesome to have you back, Rod. 175 00:06:00,384 --> 00:06:02,284 Hey, Rod, what if you touch old Rod? 176 00:06:02,386 --> 00:06:04,153 Would you both explode? 177 00:06:04,255 --> 00:06:07,423 Hey, Abby didn't your Shard of Darkness trip 178 00:06:07,525 --> 00:06:08,857 take you to Motaba? 179 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,293 Ha, ha, hilarious. But, yes, why? 180 00:06:11,395 --> 00:06:13,529 Oh, no reason. I'm just reading CNN's Twitter feed 181 00:06:13,631 --> 00:06:15,731 and it says wi-fi war, 182 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,133 Motaba library overtaken by armed rebels. 183 00:06:18,235 --> 00:06:19,880 [Chuckles] Well, that could be any library. 184 00:06:19,904 --> 00:06:20,984 Yeah, no, I don't think so. 185 00:06:21,072 --> 00:06:22,672 See they're burning this redheaded effigy 186 00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:24,017 out there in the front of the street. 187 00:06:24,041 --> 00:06:25,474 That is definitely not me. 188 00:06:25,576 --> 00:06:29,211 Mm-hmm. They're calling the library a catalyst for chaos. 189 00:06:29,313 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaking of war-torn regions, 190 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:34,717 check out this Snatchchat from the dank that I'm hitting up. 191 00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:35,819 Ah, I'm gonna be sick, 192 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,553 and it is definitely because of you 193 00:06:37,655 --> 00:06:39,254 and not because of anything else. 194 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,056 Hey, guys. Look at that. 195 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,727 Sorry guys, I just remembered that I, um, 196 00:06:44,829 --> 00:06:47,062 parked in the wrong spot. 197 00:06:47,164 --> 00:06:48,942 Yeah, you mean parked in the stall across the hall? 198 00:06:48,966 --> 00:06:51,166 We could hear you unfolding yourself from here. 199 00:06:51,268 --> 00:06:52,601 You need to see a doctor, Abby. 200 00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:53,802 I'm fine. 201 00:06:53,904 --> 00:06:55,704 Oh, my God, this is so hard! 202 00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,050 This is impossible is what it is. 203 00:06:57,074 --> 00:06:58,285 There's gum on every surface of the school. 204 00:06:58,309 --> 00:06:59,341 It's gross. 205 00:06:59,443 --> 00:07:00,587 You know what we should do? We should quit. 206 00:07:00,611 --> 00:07:01,644 - Yes! - Yes! 207 00:07:01,746 --> 00:07:02,856 - Why don't we do it? - That's a good idea. 208 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:03,779 Sandwich party. Sandwich party. 209 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,848 All right. That's it! 210 00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:07,661 You know, while you guys have been standing around 211 00:07:07,685 --> 00:07:09,752 BSing about your summers while I'm in here 212 00:07:09,854 --> 00:07:11,553 busting my hump with no help! 213 00:07:11,656 --> 00:07:12,755 Get a load of this. 214 00:07:12,857 --> 00:07:14,390 I am not gonna be chewed out 215 00:07:14,492 --> 00:07:19,061 by a guy who got fired last year dressed as a confederate soldier. 216 00:07:19,163 --> 00:07:20,462 Seriously, cut the act, Rod. 217 00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:22,531 You're being a huge pain in the ass right now. 218 00:07:22,633 --> 00:07:23,932 I'm not the problem, all right? 219 00:07:24,035 --> 00:07:27,302 Scraping gum off toilet bowls isn't the problem. 220 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,039 The problem is you don't know how to scrape the gum 221 00:07:30,141 --> 00:07:32,808 off the toilet bowls that are your lives. 222 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,377 Spare us all of this Sigmund Fraud. 223 00:07:35,479 --> 00:07:37,312 You know, this is what it is. I'm telling you. 224 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,359 Every time somebody gets sober, they get in the program, 225 00:07:39,383 --> 00:07:40,616 they have to evangelize. 226 00:07:40,718 --> 00:07:43,152 This has nothing to do with the program, all right? 227 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:46,588 And anyone can see that you're just trying to convince yourself 228 00:07:46,691 --> 00:07:49,558 that your wife leaving you is some sort of a blessing! 229 00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:51,393 'Cause it is! 'Cause it... you know what? 230 00:07:51,495 --> 00:07:53,729 Check out this picture text I got this mor... 231 00:07:53,831 --> 00:07:55,042 No, no, no. Don't look at that one. 232 00:07:55,066 --> 00:07:56,999 [Chuckles] But I am back in the game! 233 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,767 Oh, yeah? What game is that, huh? 234 00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,536 Pushing 40, cruising Tinder, 235 00:08:00,638 --> 00:08:02,337 hanging out with some bush pig, huh? 236 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,440 All right, just admit to yourself 237 00:08:04,542 --> 00:08:06,775 that you're terrified you might wind up alone! 238 00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,478 Aw, go easy on him, Rod. He's newly single 239 00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:11,013 and it's creepy and hilarious. 240 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,549 Okay, all right, Loren. Answer me this, all right? 241 00:08:13,651 --> 00:08:16,085 You jawing on and on about how you're gonna write 242 00:08:16,187 --> 00:08:17,386 the great American novel. 243 00:08:17,488 --> 00:08:19,408 How many pages did you get done this summer, huh? 244 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,790 I'm... I'm outlining. I'm in the outlining phase. 245 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:23,592 Outlines are great. M-my favorite book 246 00:08:23,694 --> 00:08:26,095 is Ernest Hemingway's "Big Book of Outlines," 247 00:08:26,197 --> 00:08:27,362 fantastic! 248 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,242 You're acting pretty high and mighty for someone 249 00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:30,999 who has jack shack on campus. 250 00:08:31,102 --> 00:08:34,169 Oh, says the woman who went all the way to Africa 251 00:08:34,271 --> 00:08:37,573 to build a library to make herself feel better. 252 00:08:37,675 --> 00:08:39,508 Yeah, and what did that get you? 253 00:08:39,610 --> 00:08:41,543 The [bleep]. 254 00:08:41,645 --> 00:08:43,479 It's just a little bit of traveler's tummy. 255 00:08:43,581 --> 00:08:44,880 [Chuckles] Yeah. 256 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,115 And Fairbell... 257 00:08:46,217 --> 00:08:48,450 Wait, wait, so like the toilet of our lives 258 00:08:48,552 --> 00:08:50,052 is like a house? 259 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,488 [Chuckles] Oh, it is true. 260 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,223 You just cannot help people 261 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,959 until they're willing to help themselves. 262 00:08:57,061 --> 00:08:59,628 Excuse me. 263 00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:02,030 [Sighs] 264 00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,398 That's a lot to think about. 265 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,066 [Sighs] 266 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:05,267 Yeah. 267 00:09:05,369 --> 00:09:08,370 Maybe we should make some actual changes. 268 00:09:08,472 --> 00:09:10,072 Totally. 269 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,574 We should get Rod drinking again. 270 00:09:12,676 --> 00:09:13,787 - Exactly what I'm thinking. - Definitely. 271 00:09:13,811 --> 00:09:15,489 - That's what I was thinking. - Definitely. 272 00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:16,690 - Back on the wagon. - I mean, that's it. 273 00:09:16,714 --> 00:09:19,248 So, like, if I flush, I go to another room? 274 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,817 It's a [bleep] metaphor, Fairbell. 275 00:09:26,655 --> 00:09:28,133 Loren: Oh, yes, there's his coffee right there. 276 00:09:28,157 --> 00:09:29,823 We'll just spike it and be done with it. 277 00:09:29,925 --> 00:09:31,725 Who locks their classroom door? 278 00:09:31,827 --> 00:09:33,862 - It's like he doesn't trust us. - [Sighs] 279 00:09:33,929 --> 00:09:35,696 There's got to be another way in there. 280 00:09:35,798 --> 00:09:36,964 - No. - Windows are barred. 281 00:09:37,066 --> 00:09:38,665 [Gasps] The janitor has keys. 282 00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:40,100 What if I flirt with the janitor, 283 00:09:40,202 --> 00:09:41,235 and then he'll let us in? 284 00:09:41,337 --> 00:09:43,370 You? Yeah, right. Your flirting is terrible. 285 00:09:43,472 --> 00:09:45,873 Yeah. Way to some up with a plan to not get the keys. 286 00:09:45,975 --> 00:09:47,541 Well, the only other way into that room 287 00:09:47,643 --> 00:09:49,042 is gonna be through the air ducts. 288 00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:50,655 - Oh, yes. - Dude, that's a great idea. 289 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:51,545 That's awesome. 290 00:09:51,647 --> 00:09:52,513 No, no, no, wait take back. 291 00:09:52,615 --> 00:09:54,214 - No take backs. - Opposite day. 292 00:09:54,316 --> 00:09:55,849 I'd go for it with the janitor. 293 00:09:55,951 --> 00:09:57,295 No, it's too late, the plan's already locked in. 294 00:09:57,319 --> 00:09:59,551 - No! - I wait here, keep a lookout for Rod. 295 00:09:59,676 --> 00:10:01,465 You lower him through the ducts, spike Rod's coffee, 296 00:10:01,489 --> 00:10:02,567 - perfect crime. - Great, that is great. 297 00:10:02,591 --> 00:10:04,436 Listen, I really think that this key thing is simpler, 298 00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:07,660 plus I'm an excellent flirter. Check this out. 299 00:10:08,531 --> 00:10:10,631 Pssh! 300 00:10:10,733 --> 00:10:11,865 Hi. 301 00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:13,845 We're doing the ducts. We're going with the duct plan. 302 00:10:13,869 --> 00:10:15,168 - What? - It's going to work. 303 00:10:15,271 --> 00:10:16,815 Last time I went into the ducts I almost died... twice. 304 00:10:16,839 --> 00:10:18,316 Think of it this way... This is your opportunity 305 00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,541 to be the Tom Cruise in this situation. 306 00:10:20,643 --> 00:10:21,942 - Oh, Tom Cruise! - Huh? 307 00:10:22,044 --> 00:10:23,622 - You like Tom Cruise. - How cool's that? 308 00:10:23,646 --> 00:10:25,126 That could be risky business, though. 309 00:10:25,180 --> 00:10:26,180 [Chuckles] 310 00:10:26,215 --> 00:10:27,080 You know, I wanted a few good men, 311 00:10:27,182 --> 00:10:28,193 but I could only find Fairbell. 312 00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:30,083 It's like that "Garfield" movie. 313 00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,201 Excuse me? "Garfield" movie? That's what you come in with? 314 00:10:33,295 --> 00:10:34,966 - That's wrong in like 15 different ways. - What are you talking about? 315 00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:36,601 - It's a good movie! - We're doing a fun thing. 316 00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:38,103 - Guys, guys, guys, guys, stop, stop! - And you don't understand the rules... 317 00:10:38,127 --> 00:10:38,884 - You suck. - You suck. 318 00:10:38,928 --> 00:10:39,899 - You suck. - You suck. 319 00:10:39,924 --> 00:10:41,506 Guys this is gonna be like a "War of the Worlds." 320 00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:43,030 See, even Fairbell gets the game. 321 00:10:43,123 --> 00:10:44,799 - I get it. - What game? Charades? 322 00:10:44,867 --> 00:10:46,066 I'll go first, who am I? 323 00:10:46,168 --> 00:10:48,635 Oh, God, your just Abby! You just watched her do that. 324 00:10:48,704 --> 00:10:50,015 - Nailed it. - Okay, just get him in the ducts, guys. 325 00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:51,138 You're a very good flirter. 326 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,407 - Let's go. - Take her with you. 327 00:10:53,509 --> 00:10:55,275 Hey, we're almost there. 328 00:10:55,377 --> 00:10:58,312 Oh, man. God, you really know your way around here. 329 00:10:58,414 --> 00:10:59,746 Practice. 330 00:10:59,848 --> 00:11:02,549 Okay, uh, 331 00:11:02,651 --> 00:11:03,850 this seems like a bad idea, 332 00:11:03,953 --> 00:11:06,153 and I can't usually tell when something is a bad idea. 333 00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:08,589 What, are you kidding? This is a great idea, bud. 334 00:11:08,691 --> 00:11:09,957 You're gonna do awesome. 335 00:11:12,194 --> 00:11:15,462 [Chuckling] Perfect crime. 336 00:11:15,564 --> 00:11:16,463 Can I help you? 337 00:11:16,565 --> 00:11:20,000 Oh, n... Oh, Rod! Hey. Hey, buddy. 338 00:11:20,102 --> 00:11:22,469 Um, yes, you can help me. 339 00:11:22,571 --> 00:11:24,905 You were, uh... you were talking about sobriety. 340 00:11:25,007 --> 00:11:26,139 Yes. 341 00:11:26,241 --> 00:11:28,086 And I thought that maybe that's something I should try. 342 00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:29,977 Maybe I should try it. 343 00:11:30,045 --> 00:11:30,677 Oh, yeah? 344 00:11:30,779 --> 00:11:32,579 Yeah. Yeah, maybe I... 345 00:11:32,681 --> 00:11:33,914 should try sobriety. 346 00:11:34,016 --> 00:11:35,949 [Chuckles] All right. Yes. [Laughs] 347 00:11:36,051 --> 00:11:37,051 Yeah. 348 00:11:37,152 --> 00:11:38,885 [Sighs] Are you sure you can hold me? 349 00:11:38,988 --> 00:11:39,998 No, no, no, no, not at all. 350 00:11:40,022 --> 00:11:41,166 That's why I brought an anchor. 351 00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:44,758 Hi. [Gasping] 352 00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:45,659 I'm good. 353 00:11:45,761 --> 00:11:47,194 [Stomach gurgles] 354 00:11:47,296 --> 00:11:48,762 How do you, like, um... 355 00:11:48,864 --> 00:11:51,376 [clears throat] how do you get people to let you hang around them 356 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:55,268 if they're not drunk and you're not drunk? 357 00:11:55,371 --> 00:11:57,304 Don't need those people anymore, all right? 358 00:11:57,406 --> 00:12:00,140 - Yeah. - That's stinking thinking is what that is. 359 00:12:00,242 --> 00:12:02,376 - Yeah. - Get rid of them. Okay. 360 00:12:02,478 --> 00:12:04,511 Find solace in the simpler things in life, 361 00:12:04,613 --> 00:12:08,682 like, I don't know, gardening or m-model airplanes. 362 00:12:08,784 --> 00:12:11,151 You know, for me, I love starting my car the regular way 363 00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:13,086 instead of blowing into one of those straws. 364 00:12:14,390 --> 00:12:17,024 I-I just don't know what's going on anymore, Rod. 365 00:12:17,126 --> 00:12:21,361 Hey, Loren, lay it out for old new Rod. 366 00:12:21,463 --> 00:12:23,130 - Yeah? - Yeah. 367 00:12:23,232 --> 00:12:24,297 [Sighs] Wish me luck. 368 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,699 Okay. Oh, you won't need luck 369 00:12:25,801 --> 00:12:26,878 you invincible dip [bleep]. 370 00:12:26,902 --> 00:12:28,168 Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba 371 00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:31,805 Me, everyone thinks [Muffled speaking] 372 00:12:31,907 --> 00:12:32,907 Go! 373 00:12:32,941 --> 00:12:33,807 [Groans] 374 00:12:33,909 --> 00:12:35,809 Fricking Tate, Fricking Dalton. 375 00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:37,277 I'm not a third wheel. 376 00:12:37,379 --> 00:12:39,112 No, you're not. You're a grown man. 377 00:12:40,282 --> 00:12:41,493 That's why you're gonna stop playing grab ass 378 00:12:41,517 --> 00:12:42,416 with 19 year olds. 379 00:12:42,518 --> 00:12:43,216 Who told you about grab ass? 380 00:12:43,318 --> 00:12:44,318 Was it Dalton? 381 00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:45,218 Oh, it was Dalton wasn't it? 382 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,420 That piece of [bleep]. 383 00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:48,255 I knew he couldn't handle grab ass. 384 00:12:49,191 --> 00:12:50,671 It's actually working, keep lowering. 385 00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:52,137 It's just like Cody was using me, man. 386 00:12:52,161 --> 00:12:53,760 Sure, we were BFFs. 387 00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:56,096 [Muffled speaking] old enough to buy booze. 388 00:12:56,198 --> 00:12:58,198 You don't do that to your bro. That's bro code! 389 00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:00,701 [Stomach gurgles] Ew. 390 00:13:00,803 --> 00:13:02,035 Oh, please. Oh, please, no. 391 00:13:02,137 --> 00:13:03,770 I left my scarf in the roof of my car. 392 00:13:03,872 --> 00:13:05,672 It's like 100 degrees, you don't need a scarf! 393 00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:07,074 Abby, Abby! 394 00:13:07,176 --> 00:13:08,709 It's not your fault. 395 00:13:08,811 --> 00:13:10,510 - Makes everyone a user. - Yeah. 396 00:13:10,612 --> 00:13:12,212 How about we talk about this inside? 397 00:13:12,314 --> 00:13:14,214 All right, Let's... Oh, no, no, no, wait. 398 00:13:14,316 --> 00:13:15,949 Rod! Rod, let's talk about it out here. 399 00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:17,195 Hey, why don't we go to a meeting? 400 00:13:17,219 --> 00:13:18,596 I think I'm ready for a meeting at the Kiwanis... 401 00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:20,020 [Grunts, gasps] 402 00:13:20,122 --> 00:13:21,366 - [Muffled scream] - [Glass shatters] 403 00:13:21,390 --> 00:13:22,923 [Screams] 404 00:13:23,025 --> 00:13:24,257 Fairbell? 405 00:13:24,359 --> 00:13:26,193 [Coughing] 406 00:13:26,328 --> 00:13:28,295 Are you guys trying to spike my coffee? 407 00:13:28,397 --> 00:13:31,965 Oh hey, Rod, I was just, uh, looking for a pen, right Loren? 408 00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:36,603 [Chuckling] Um, Rod, it's... 409 00:13:36,705 --> 00:13:38,138 [Smacks lips] 410 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,539 I'm gonna go get my bat... 411 00:13:39,641 --> 00:13:42,209 Find out if this dip [bleep] pi?ata is filled with candy. 412 00:13:42,311 --> 00:13:45,212 I'll save you the trip. I am. 413 00:13:45,314 --> 00:13:46,314 [Sighs] 414 00:13:46,949 --> 00:13:49,416 And silver lining, no glass got in my eyes. 415 00:13:49,518 --> 00:13:51,238 - I swallowed most of it. - Congratulations. 416 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,620 Sorry, the wind blew my scarf through the parking lot. 417 00:13:53,722 --> 00:13:54,921 [Stomach gurgles] 418 00:13:55,023 --> 00:13:57,135 Ah, Abby, everyone knows you have the butt barfs, even me. 419 00:13:57,159 --> 00:13:58,703 - Hey, guys. - Whoa, have you been crying? 420 00:13:58,727 --> 00:14:00,887 - Have you been crying? - I don't know what's going on. 421 00:14:00,963 --> 00:14:02,863 You know, Rod's sober, Tammy's the principal, 422 00:14:02,965 --> 00:14:04,331 you're getting laid. 423 00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,344 My parents are right. I should get out of the teaching game. 424 00:14:06,368 --> 00:14:07,968 I should just get my real-estate license. 425 00:14:08,258 --> 00:14:10,507 Ow! You know we're on the cusp of another bubble! 426 00:14:10,539 --> 00:14:11,829 - I do, I do. - God, 427 00:14:11,854 --> 00:14:13,720 you can not let sober Rod get to you. 428 00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:16,176 - [Whispering] I'm sorry. - That man is not thinking foggy. 429 00:14:16,278 --> 00:14:18,245 The new Rod is too far down the rabbit hole. 430 00:14:18,347 --> 00:14:20,013 It's like he's addicted to sobriety. 431 00:14:20,115 --> 00:14:21,515 Oh, my God. [Chuckles] 432 00:14:21,617 --> 00:14:24,885 Yes, Abby. He is addicted to sobriety. 433 00:14:24,987 --> 00:14:27,020 And how do you deal with an addict? 434 00:14:27,122 --> 00:14:29,523 Throw acid on their face so they're ugly and unlovable? 435 00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:31,269 Jesus, who gave Fairbell their Netflix password? 436 00:14:31,293 --> 00:14:32,293 Thank you, by the way. 437 00:14:32,327 --> 00:14:33,193 He said he wanted to watch "Doug." 438 00:14:33,295 --> 00:14:34,361 Lots of "Doug." 439 00:14:34,463 --> 00:14:37,197 No, no. If we want to destroy the new Rod, 440 00:14:37,299 --> 00:14:39,630 we have to make this personal. 441 00:14:40,602 --> 00:14:41,980 And everybody can tell you've been crying. 442 00:14:42,004 --> 00:14:43,004 Yeah. 443 00:14:44,849 --> 00:14:47,550 Just right through here, it'll only take a minute. 444 00:14:48,752 --> 00:14:50,386 What the hell is this? 445 00:14:50,488 --> 00:14:53,389 Rod, please come in. Join us. Have a seat by your mother. 446 00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,619 Come here, baby. You come sit by Mama. 447 00:14:55,692 --> 00:14:57,125 You know, uh, Rod, 448 00:14:57,227 --> 00:14:58,860 I've [Sighs] 449 00:14:58,962 --> 00:15:00,628 I've been here since last night, 450 00:15:00,731 --> 00:15:03,932 and I look around the room and I see a lot of people 451 00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:06,434 who love and care for you and are scared to death 452 00:15:06,536 --> 00:15:08,414 that they're losing you and they want to get you 453 00:15:08,438 --> 00:15:09,104 back in the fight. 454 00:15:09,206 --> 00:15:10,238 Ma, why are you here? 455 00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:12,374 Son, you've turned into a grade-A pussy 456 00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:14,042 since you stopped drinking. 457 00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:16,411 There's a lot of love in this room. 458 00:15:16,513 --> 00:15:17,979 So, basically what's gonna happen is 459 00:15:18,081 --> 00:15:19,347 they're gonna say some things, 460 00:15:19,449 --> 00:15:21,329 and you'll say some things, and then we're done. 461 00:15:21,418 --> 00:15:23,551 So, Abby, why don't you start us off 462 00:15:23,653 --> 00:15:25,553 since your intestines are on borrowed time? 463 00:15:25,655 --> 00:15:26,554 I am fine. 464 00:15:26,656 --> 00:15:28,123 [Stomach gurgles] 465 00:15:28,225 --> 00:15:30,925 Okay, Rod, 466 00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:34,262 your unaddiction has affected me in the following ways. 467 00:15:34,364 --> 00:15:37,399 After spending my summer in Motaba, 468 00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:41,169 selflessly helping others I realized that life... 469 00:15:41,271 --> 00:15:43,171 [Stomach gurgles loudly] 470 00:15:43,273 --> 00:15:46,007 Oh, g... 471 00:15:46,109 --> 00:15:47,675 I'm just... 472 00:15:47,778 --> 00:15:49,244 I'm too emotional. 473 00:15:49,346 --> 00:15:50,745 [Stomach gurgles] 474 00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:52,881 [Winces] 475 00:15:52,983 --> 00:15:54,583 Now do you see the damage you're causing? 476 00:15:54,651 --> 00:15:56,785 Fairbell, you're up. 477 00:15:56,887 --> 00:15:59,020 Oh, Rod, I remember that time 478 00:15:59,122 --> 00:16:01,389 last "Julee" when you took me 479 00:16:01,491 --> 00:16:02,991 to Bass Pro Shop. 480 00:16:03,093 --> 00:16:05,393 Then you left me locked in the car and I waited in there 481 00:16:05,495 --> 00:16:08,963 for 5 hours until I passed out because of hot. 482 00:16:09,066 --> 00:16:10,066 Abby! 483 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,299 - Yes? - Wait up. 484 00:16:11,401 --> 00:16:12,801 Oh, I'll just be a minute. 485 00:16:12,903 --> 00:16:14,135 It won't take but a second. 486 00:16:14,237 --> 00:16:19,441 [Stomach gurgles] 487 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:22,677 [Groans, humming] 488 00:16:22,779 --> 00:16:25,246 [Sighs] 489 00:16:25,348 --> 00:16:27,315 [Sighs] 490 00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:29,818 I was wondering [chuckles] between us girls, 491 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,853 uh, you've got your ear to the street. 492 00:16:31,955 --> 00:16:32,854 [Stomach gurgles] 493 00:16:32,956 --> 00:16:34,000 What are people saying about me? 494 00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:35,624 Oh, that you're doing great. Just great! 495 00:16:35,725 --> 00:16:37,325 Well, I appreciate that. Bu-u-ut... 496 00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:38,560 what do you think? 497 00:16:38,662 --> 00:16:39,861 [Stomach gurgles] 498 00:16:39,963 --> 00:16:43,364 I mean, y-you've always been a straight shooter with me. 499 00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:45,333 [Stomach gurgles] 500 00:16:45,435 --> 00:16:47,435 What is going on with you? 501 00:16:47,537 --> 00:16:49,115 Are you sick from that stupid trip to Africa? 502 00:16:49,139 --> 00:16:51,539 No! No, I'm fine. [Gasps] 503 00:16:51,641 --> 00:16:54,709 You're hiding something. 504 00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:57,112 [Grunts] The guys are in the multi-purpose room 505 00:16:57,214 --> 00:16:58,534 trying to get Rod to drink again. 506 00:16:58,582 --> 00:16:59,981 Oh, Goddamn it! 507 00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:01,616 Ugh! 508 00:17:01,718 --> 00:17:03,685 And after the fireman was done kissing me, 509 00:17:03,787 --> 00:17:06,408 I woke up, went next door, and found you in the Toby Keith's 510 00:17:06,490 --> 00:17:09,591 I Love This Bar & Grill very, very, very drunk. 511 00:17:09,693 --> 00:17:12,327 That was... 512 00:17:12,429 --> 00:17:15,864 that was one of the best afternoons of my life. 513 00:17:15,966 --> 00:17:18,967 Thank you, Fairbell. I know how difficult that was. 514 00:17:19,069 --> 00:17:20,935 Not emotionally, but the reading. 515 00:17:21,037 --> 00:17:22,470 Loren, you ready? 516 00:17:22,572 --> 00:17:28,076 Oh. [Sniffles] 517 00:17:28,178 --> 00:17:31,179 [Sniffling] Be strong. 518 00:17:31,281 --> 00:17:33,148 Dearest Rod, 519 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,783 that afternoon we spent partying in the bed of your truck 520 00:17:35,886 --> 00:17:38,620 during the strike was the highlight of my career. 521 00:17:38,722 --> 00:17:40,355 I remember thinking, "Man, 522 00:17:40,457 --> 00:17:43,291 anything's possible as long as I have my buddy here." 523 00:17:43,393 --> 00:17:45,827 My little hot Rod. 524 00:17:45,929 --> 00:17:47,540 [Voice breaking] But now I see that pickup truck, 525 00:17:47,564 --> 00:17:49,030 and all I see is a lie. 526 00:17:49,132 --> 00:17:49,731 [Sighs] 527 00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:50,932 And that hurts. 528 00:17:51,034 --> 00:17:53,902 It hurts when you break promises, Cody. 529 00:17:54,004 --> 00:17:56,404 You say you're gonna hang out with me then you ditch me 530 00:17:56,506 --> 00:17:58,106 to hang out with Dalton? 531 00:17:58,208 --> 00:18:00,542 Dalton's just a total d-bag who talks [bleep] about you 532 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,810 behind your back and everybody knows that. 533 00:18:02,913 --> 00:18:05,880 He didn't even come to your birthday party. 534 00:18:05,982 --> 00:18:08,750 They don't know you like I know you, dude. 535 00:18:08,852 --> 00:18:10,251 [Bleep] This is horrible. 536 00:18:10,353 --> 00:18:11,586 [Sobbing] 537 00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:14,155 [Gasps] I think this seven layer dip has eight layers. 538 00:18:14,257 --> 00:18:17,225 O-okay, listen, Rod, 539 00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:20,595 you're probably wondering what it is that we're offering you. 540 00:18:20,697 --> 00:18:24,699 Right now, outside, we have a car waiting for you 541 00:18:24,801 --> 00:18:26,301 to take you to the Lions Lair, 542 00:18:26,403 --> 00:18:29,938 where your mother has graciously set up a $100 bar tab. 543 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,539 Well drinks only. 544 00:18:31,641 --> 00:18:33,481 Rod, I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna lie to you. 545 00:18:33,543 --> 00:18:34,976 I've been where you're at right now 546 00:18:35,078 --> 00:18:37,512 and I have faced the scourge that is sobriety. 547 00:18:37,614 --> 00:18:39,047 I've stared that demon down 548 00:18:39,149 --> 00:18:43,184 and I just want to say you can get off that wagon. 549 00:18:43,286 --> 00:18:44,619 So get off that wagon, Rob. 550 00:18:44,721 --> 00:18:45,831 - Get off that wagon. - Get off that wagon. 551 00:18:45,855 --> 00:18:46,975 - Jump. - Get off that wagon. 552 00:18:47,023 --> 00:18:48,367 - Get off the wagon, Cody. - Get off that wagon. 553 00:18:48,391 --> 00:18:50,458 Get off that wagon. Get off that wagon. 554 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,894 What the [bleep] is wrong with you people? 555 00:18:52,996 --> 00:18:54,729 I was curious about that myself. 556 00:18:54,831 --> 00:18:57,131 Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is not what it looks like, Tammy. 557 00:18:57,234 --> 00:18:58,978 Well it looks like a reverse intervention to me. 558 00:18:59,002 --> 00:19:00,969 Well, then it is definitely what it looks like. 559 00:19:01,071 --> 00:19:04,539 You three, in my office, first thing tomorrow morning! 560 00:19:04,641 --> 00:19:05,641 Now get out! 561 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,869 I better see you at that bar. 562 00:19:06,943 --> 00:19:07,842 [Sighs] 563 00:19:07,944 --> 00:19:10,645 You know what, Roddy? I'm sorry. 564 00:19:10,747 --> 00:19:14,249 It's not eight layers, it's still seven. 565 00:19:14,351 --> 00:19:16,684 Just a second layer of bean. 566 00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:19,921 567 00:19:20,023 --> 00:19:21,167 [Sighs] What do you guys think 568 00:19:21,191 --> 00:19:22,602 Tammy wants to talk to us about, tomorrow? 569 00:19:22,626 --> 00:19:23,626 What? 570 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:24,770 We're probably getting fired, Fairbell. 571 00:19:24,794 --> 00:19:26,027 So, drink up. 572 00:19:26,129 --> 00:19:27,473 You know what? If I was principal, 573 00:19:27,497 --> 00:19:28,863 I would never fire anybody. 574 00:19:28,965 --> 00:19:32,133 Also, I'd put root beer in all the water fountains, promise. 575 00:19:32,235 --> 00:19:33,434 Got my vote. 576 00:19:33,536 --> 00:19:34,947 I'm still not even sure how Tammy knew 577 00:19:34,971 --> 00:19:36,716 that we were trying to get Rod drinking again. 578 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:37,305 - Yeah. - That's crazy. 579 00:19:37,407 --> 00:19:38,473 Mm-hmm. 580 00:19:38,575 --> 00:19:41,042 I-I... she probably just sensed it, you know? 581 00:19:41,144 --> 00:19:42,443 She's a very smart lady. 582 00:19:42,545 --> 00:19:44,185 I just wish it wasn't her dropping the ax. 583 00:19:44,214 --> 00:19:45,454 She's always had it out for me. 584 00:19:45,515 --> 00:19:47,282 Getting fired is not the worst thing 585 00:19:47,384 --> 00:19:48,583 that can happen to someone. 586 00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:50,685 You're right, that is. 587 00:19:50,787 --> 00:19:52,198 [Gunfire, helicopter blades whirring] 588 00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:54,956 [Crying] 589 00:19:55,058 --> 00:19:59,027 I never should've taken a picture with that monkey. 590 00:19:59,129 --> 00:19:59,961 What the [bleep]. 591 00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:01,063 [Sighs] 592 00:20:01,164 --> 00:20:03,464 I mean, that... that has got to be a different. 593 00:20:03,566 --> 00:20:07,001 Okay, I ruined another country and got horrible dysentery. 594 00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,670 Is that what you want me to say? 595 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,016 - Yeah, that's exactly it. - Yeah. 596 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,684 Yeah, that's exactly what I've been waiting for. 597 00:20:11,708 --> 00:20:13,919 Yeah. I got sick drinking dirty water out of a UN tire track, 598 00:20:13,943 --> 00:20:16,077 and then they had to airlift me after only two days. 599 00:20:16,179 --> 00:20:17,045 I almost died. 600 00:20:17,147 --> 00:20:18,190 There was so much blood, you guys! 601 00:20:18,214 --> 00:20:18,880 Ugh. 602 00:20:18,982 --> 00:20:20,142 It was coming out of my eyes. 603 00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:21,994 It was coming out of ears, it was coming out of my ass. 604 00:20:22,018 --> 00:20:23,851 - Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! - [Bleep] 605 00:20:23,953 --> 00:20:25,687 Stop, stop, stop. 606 00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,622 We just wanted to hear that you were wrong 607 00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:29,424 and we were right, okay? That's enough. 608 00:20:29,526 --> 00:20:32,493 Whoa-ho-oh! Speaking of internal collapse, 609 00:20:32,595 --> 00:20:33,715 This is that, uh, that chick 610 00:20:33,763 --> 00:20:35,430 - I've been hooking up with lately. - Mm. 611 00:20:35,532 --> 00:20:37,498 She wants to meet up. Hey, can I borrow a rubber? 612 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,445 You want a rubber? Yeah, no, I got one right here. 613 00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:41,029 Great. I keep it, uh, in the year 1986. 614 00:20:41,104 --> 00:20:43,115 That's funny, you're right, I'm not even gonna wear one. 615 00:20:43,139 --> 00:20:45,173 I'll probably just [bleep] pray on this one. 616 00:20:45,275 --> 00:20:46,941 Gross. 617 00:20:47,043 --> 00:20:47,875 [Door opens, closes] 618 00:20:47,977 --> 00:20:48,977 Guys, on the bright side, 619 00:20:49,012 --> 00:20:50,532 Doris gave me a handful of antibiotics 620 00:20:50,613 --> 00:20:52,280 that she found in the bottom of her purse. 621 00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:53,681 And I feel pretty all right now. 622 00:20:53,783 --> 00:20:55,350 Yeah keep chasing with booze. 623 00:20:55,452 --> 00:20:56,184 Hey, club soda please. 624 00:20:56,286 --> 00:20:57,352 Of course! 625 00:20:57,454 --> 00:20:59,520 You know, I appreciate the effort that you guys 626 00:20:59,622 --> 00:21:01,789 have gone through to get me back drinking. 627 00:21:01,891 --> 00:21:04,659 I do, I do. But, uh, finally I can fall asleep at night 628 00:21:04,761 --> 00:21:06,928 without worrying if my pancreas is gonna implode. 629 00:21:07,030 --> 00:21:08,507 Look if this is what you need from us, 630 00:21:08,531 --> 00:21:09,811 then we can respect your choice. 631 00:21:09,866 --> 00:21:12,934 And we'll stop trying to get you off the wagon. 632 00:21:13,036 --> 00:21:13,768 All right? 633 00:21:13,870 --> 00:21:14,569 Thank you, man. 634 00:21:14,671 --> 00:21:15,503 All right. Sure. 635 00:21:15,605 --> 00:21:17,004 Appreciate it. Anyway [Chuckles] 636 00:21:17,107 --> 00:21:18,373 Got to hit the head, huh? 637 00:21:18,475 --> 00:21:19,475 [Chuckles] 638 00:21:19,509 --> 00:21:21,576 Geez, all right, Rod. 639 00:21:21,678 --> 00:21:24,379 I didn't... I didn't get a touch. [Sighs] 640 00:21:24,481 --> 00:21:25,380 - That was just for us. - Yeah. 641 00:21:25,482 --> 00:21:26,881 God grant me the courage 642 00:21:26,983 --> 00:21:28,216 [Grunting, moaning] 643 00:21:28,318 --> 00:21:29,817 to accept the things I cannot change. 644 00:21:29,919 --> 00:21:30,585 [Grunting, panting] 645 00:21:30,687 --> 00:21:32,687 [Gasps] 646 00:21:32,789 --> 00:21:35,723 Wait your turn, sailor, I'm too old for twofers. 647 00:21:35,825 --> 00:21:37,091 I'm so sorry. 648 00:21:37,193 --> 00:21:40,328 It's okay, I like it kind of [bleep]. 649 00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:42,990 [Both panting, moaning] 650 00:21:44,701 --> 00:21:48,336 - _ - [Sighs] 651 00:21:48,438 --> 00:21:53,307 [Sighs] 652 00:21:53,410 --> 00:21:56,377 Am I a horrible person? 653 00:21:56,479 --> 00:21:58,913 You get used to it. 654 00:21:59,015 --> 00:22:01,349 [Sighs] 655 00:22:10,272 --> 00:22:13,006 Tammy: Good morning, gentlemen. Come in, have a seat. 656 00:22:13,109 --> 00:22:14,374 Yeah, listen, Tammy... 657 00:22:14,477 --> 00:22:16,877 No, no, no. Today I speak. 658 00:22:16,979 --> 00:22:19,346 And let me tell you something. 659 00:22:19,448 --> 00:22:21,148 I have watched you three 660 00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:23,650 squander every opportunity you've been given. 661 00:22:23,752 --> 00:22:27,187 Me? I earned my way. Nobody handed me anything. 662 00:22:27,289 --> 00:22:28,856 But not you guys. 663 00:22:28,958 --> 00:22:32,226 And today, that entitlement ends. 664 00:22:32,328 --> 00:22:33,794 [Chuckles] 665 00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:35,963 You recognize these? 666 00:22:36,065 --> 00:22:37,331 Our termination forms. 667 00:22:37,433 --> 00:22:38,699 Yeah, good Fairbell. 668 00:22:38,801 --> 00:22:41,935 Now, I'm going to frame these and hang them up for motivation. 669 00:22:42,037 --> 00:22:45,239 They're gonna be my new "Hang in there!" kitty posters. 670 00:22:45,341 --> 00:22:48,275 [Chuckles] It seems to me that everything in my life 671 00:22:48,377 --> 00:22:50,611 has led up to this very moment. 672 00:22:50,713 --> 00:22:51,578 [Laughs] 673 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,213 Now, believe me when I say 674 00:22:53,315 --> 00:22:57,251 that it gives me great pleasure to say that you are fi... 675 00:22:57,353 --> 00:22:58,418 Yoo-hoo! 676 00:22:58,521 --> 00:23:00,687 I think somebody parked in my spot. 677 00:23:00,789 --> 00:23:02,823 Be a lamb and move it for me, will ya? 678 00:23:02,925 --> 00:23:03,925 Ow. 679 00:23:03,959 --> 00:23:05,270 Ah, e-excuse me. C-can I help you? 680 00:23:05,294 --> 00:23:07,628 Oh, I'm sorry. 681 00:23:07,730 --> 00:23:10,364 I'm Cattie Goodman. I'm your new principal. 682 00:23:10,466 --> 00:23:13,400 C-C-Cattie G-Goodman? 683 00:23:13,502 --> 00:23:14,466 The district fixer? 684 00:23:14,491 --> 00:23:17,326 Aw, well, I do what I can. [Laughs] 685 00:23:17,351 --> 00:23:19,573 And now I'm here to fix up Smoot. 686 00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:22,075 Well, just one second. Tammy was actually right... 687 00:23:22,178 --> 00:23:23,912 No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 688 00:23:23,967 --> 00:23:26,255 I think what Tammy was actually about to say 689 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,647 - is how excited we are... - Exactly. 690 00:23:28,749 --> 00:23:31,683 As teachers and how in need of real change we are here at Smoot. 691 00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:35,053 Actually I was in the middle of firing these boys. 692 00:23:35,155 --> 00:23:36,188 Oh. 693 00:23:36,290 --> 00:23:39,091 Well, in that case, I just have to ask. 694 00:23:39,193 --> 00:23:43,395 Whatever gave you the idea that you were in control of personnel? 695 00:23:43,497 --> 00:23:46,767 I me... oh, oh honey. Honey. 696 00:23:47,073 --> 00:23:48,953 You didn't think they were gonna let a secretary 697 00:23:49,001 --> 00:23:51,401 become the permanent principal, now did ya? 698 00:23:51,503 --> 00:23:53,036 [Chuckling] Oh. 699 00:23:53,138 --> 00:23:54,749 But you don't know what these guys have done! 700 00:23:54,773 --> 00:23:57,474 Darling, at every new school I reform, 701 00:23:57,576 --> 00:23:59,643 I start off with a clean slate policy. 702 00:23:59,745 --> 00:24:03,013 That's so funny 'cause Tammy has this clean plate policy. 703 00:24:03,115 --> 00:24:07,851 [Laughs] Boom, I'm back in the game! 704 00:24:07,953 --> 00:24:09,786 Why don't you get to stepping right there. 705 00:24:09,888 --> 00:24:11,822 Hey, maybe you could get some hot water for me, 706 00:24:11,924 --> 00:24:12,924 for my chamomile tea. 707 00:24:12,991 --> 00:24:15,959 There you go. Thank ya. I appreciate it. 708 00:24:16,061 --> 00:24:17,994 A little quicker, a little quicker. 709 00:24:18,097 --> 00:24:19,996 And so our dance continues, Tam-Tam. 710 00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:23,631 Oh, no no. This is just began. 711 00:24:26,547 --> 00:24:28,531 She should get one of those that says "goodbye". 712 00:24:29,258 --> 00:24:31,132 Ow! Come on! 713 00:24:32,539 --> 00:24:34,648 Tammy you forgot your keys. 714 00:24:34,698 --> 00:24:39,248 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 52355

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