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1
00:00:02,753 --> 00:00:05,213
Larry: In the name of
all that is decent and holy,
2
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,056
what is that revolting
concoction?
3
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,609
It's a kale, fish-oil, dill,
pollen, quinoa smoothie.
4
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,446
Marty and I have our 25th
high-school reunion coming up,
5
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,448
and I want to look amazing.
[Chuckles]
6
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:18,117
Reunion!
Oh, that sounds wonderful!
7
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:21,270
It's a chance to see old friends
and relive old memories
8
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:23,289
and reminisce
about days gone by.
9
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,291
Nah, it's more like a contest
10
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:26,992
to see whose life
turned out the best.
11
00:00:27,043 --> 00:00:29,278
But I am not gonna play
that game. No way.
12
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:32,581
Tina Giannulli, my high-school
frenemy, might play, but not me.
13
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,800
When was the last time
you ate solid food?
14
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:37,236
[Gulps] Four days ago.
15
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,854
Deb! Deb!
16
00:00:38,889 --> 00:00:40,730
Guess who just got invited
to play our reunion.
17
00:00:41,057 --> 00:00:42,491
Motor Baut.
18
00:00:42,526 --> 00:00:44,426
[Chuckles] Wow!
19
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,896
Motor boat... I have not heard
that name in the longest time.
20
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:50,199
It's "Baut," Deb. "Baut."
It's "boat."
21
00:00:50,233 --> 00:00:52,501
The name of your high-school
band was "Motor Boat."
22
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,820
That's because everyone ignores
the two little dots over the "u."
23
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:58,189
Am I the only one who knows
what an umlaut is? God!
24
00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:59,757
Motor Baut was the
greatest high-school band
25
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,226
in the history of the 1980s.
26
00:01:01,377 --> 00:01:03,561
I was just rhythm guitar,
but I loved those guys
27
00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:05,880
like they're my brothers,
and now it's time
28
00:01:05,914 --> 00:01:08,449
to get back into
our leather pants and rock!
29
00:01:08,483 --> 00:01:09,550
Motor Baut!
30
00:01:09,585 --> 00:01:12,770
Oh. Marty, are you sure
that's a good idea?
31
00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:15,645
- Can you even find those stinky old
leather pants?
she's Satan's siren
32
00:01:15,674 --> 00:01:17,575
she'll ruin your life
33
00:01:17,626 --> 00:01:20,945
she's Satan's siren,
she's causing you strife
34
00:01:20,996 --> 00:01:24,114
What the hell is going on?
Rock 'n' roll, baby!
35
00:01:24,165 --> 00:01:26,367
Motor Baut! Yeah! Whoo!
36
00:01:28,785 --> 00:01:30,720
I'm gonna... I'm g...
I'll clean that up now.
37
00:01:30,721 --> 00:01:32,190
38
00:01:33,341 --> 00:01:37,294
We came from outer space
and settled in New Jersey
39
00:01:37,345 --> 00:01:40,964
we took names like Larry Bird
and Jackie Joyner-Kersee
40
00:01:41,015 --> 00:01:43,300
then the humans
moved next door
41
00:01:43,351 --> 00:01:45,469
started testing
all our limits
42
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,654
so sit right down,
enjoy the show
43
00:01:47,688 --> 00:01:50,124
we'll be done in 30 minutes
44
00:01:50,158 --> 00:01:52,559
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
45
00:01:53,377 --> 00:01:55,195
[Laughing] Isn't this
the most fun you ever had
46
00:01:55,213 --> 00:01:56,546
in your entire life?
47
00:01:56,581 --> 00:01:58,882
Who needs a girlfriend when
you can have this kind of fun?
48
00:01:58,916 --> 00:02:00,366
Wha-ha-whoo!
49
00:02:00,384 --> 00:02:02,719
I don't know.
This feels a little dangerous.
50
00:02:02,753 --> 00:02:04,193
And I have
a sweater to finish, so...
51
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:06,089
No! Don't go!
52
00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:08,141
I'm heartbroken over
my breakup with Amber.
53
00:02:08,176 --> 00:02:10,010
If I stop laughing,
I'll start crying.
54
00:02:10,044 --> 00:02:12,395
I feel your pain, dawg,
but get it together!
55
00:02:12,430 --> 00:02:15,098
"Fast and Furious" night with
the Weaver kids is coming up.
56
00:02:15,149 --> 00:02:16,600
Me and Amber in the same room?
57
00:02:16,651 --> 00:02:17,934
I'm sorry, Dick,
58
00:02:17,985 --> 00:02:19,603
but I'm afraid our "Fast
and the Furious" Fridays
59
00:02:19,654 --> 00:02:20,854
are a thing of the past.
60
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,724
It looks like my
brother's sad love life
61
00:02:24,742 --> 00:02:26,726
just became my problem.
62
00:02:29,330 --> 00:02:30,780
Marty: In my defense,
how many guys can wear
63
00:02:30,831 --> 00:02:33,200
the same pair of pants
they wore 25 years ago?
64
00:02:33,234 --> 00:02:34,684
I'm not sure
what that number is,
65
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,570
but subtract 1 from it.
66
00:02:36,637 --> 00:02:38,071
Come on, Larry.
Don't make me feel insecure
67
00:02:38,089 --> 00:02:39,739
about my appearance, okay?
68
00:02:39,757 --> 00:02:41,741
I'm intimidated enough already.
69
00:02:41,759 --> 00:02:44,594
This was a seriously
good-looking group of guys.
70
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:45,912
Marty, has it ever
occurred to you
71
00:02:45,947 --> 00:02:49,216
you might be putting your
former bandmates on a pedestal
72
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:52,869
and they couldn't possibly
be that... good God.
73
00:02:52,904 --> 00:02:55,922
Those are some gorgeous men.
74
00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:58,041
- I'm hideous.
- Right?
75
00:02:58,075 --> 00:03:00,593
I just hope the guys
aren't still mad at Debbie.
76
00:03:00,611 --> 00:03:02,445
- They hate me.
- Hate you?
77
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,397
How could anybody hate you?
78
00:03:04,431 --> 00:03:05,532
I'll tell you everything
79
00:03:05,566 --> 00:03:06,733
while you help me get pretty
for the reunion.
80
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:07,934
At your service, Debbie Weaver!
81
00:03:07,952 --> 00:03:10,603
Ow!
Ooh, yeah.
82
00:03:10,621 --> 00:03:12,906
Things started out fine
with Debbie and the guys.
83
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:15,275
And then they turned
on her, one by one.
84
00:03:15,293 --> 00:03:16,493
Eventually,
I was forced to choose
85
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:19,663
between my girl and the music.
86
00:03:19,714 --> 00:03:22,332
I chose Debbie.
The band broke up over it.
87
00:03:22,383 --> 00:03:24,501
I guess you could say
Debbie was our yoko.
88
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,486
I guess I was their Yoko.
89
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:27,854
If before she got with John,
90
00:03:27,888 --> 00:03:29,956
she dated Paul, George,
and Ringo.
91
00:03:29,974 --> 00:03:32,458
And Pete best.
And a few of the stones.
92
00:03:32,476 --> 00:03:33,677
No!
93
00:03:33,728 --> 00:03:34,844
You were romantically involved
94
00:03:34,879 --> 00:03:36,630
with all of the guys
in the band?
95
00:03:36,664 --> 00:03:39,249
- And the girl who played backup synth.
- Debbie Weaver!
96
00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:40,467
Oh, come on, Jackie.
97
00:03:40,501 --> 00:03:42,969
You know
the whole musician thing.
98
00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:44,771
No, I do not know
the whole musician thing.
99
00:03:45,605 --> 00:03:47,590
Oh, being onstage
with an instrument
100
00:03:47,624 --> 00:03:49,909
makes ugly guys handsome,
short guys tall,
101
00:03:49,943 --> 00:03:51,794
and the hot guys
in Motor Boat so hot
102
00:03:51,828 --> 00:03:55,030
that I just had to stick
my tongue in their mouths.
103
00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:56,281
Ooh.
That's disgusting.
104
00:03:56,299 --> 00:03:58,183
They had this blue light
that they used onstage.
105
00:03:58,201 --> 00:03:59,652
It was so moody.
106
00:03:59,686 --> 00:04:01,854
Oh, I broke all their hearts.
107
00:04:01,872 --> 00:04:03,773
They wrote a lot
of songs about me.
108
00:04:03,807 --> 00:04:06,175
There was this one about
a boat that crashed
109
00:04:06,209 --> 00:04:09,195
and sank on a
treacherous shore.
110
00:04:10,196 --> 00:04:13,749
Are you sure it wasn't just
a song about a boat?
111
00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:15,584
Oh, Jackie, it's never
just about a boat.
112
00:04:16,135 --> 00:04:20,238
Our best song was all about
a boat... "Satan's siren."
113
00:04:20,273 --> 00:04:21,556
Marty, were you
actually in this band,
114
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:23,241
or were you just walking by
when the photo was taken?
115
00:04:23,275 --> 00:04:26,861
- Shane was the star.
- I've never seen such a specimen.
116
00:04:27,095 --> 00:04:29,530
I'm hoping that the years have
leveled the field somewhat.
117
00:04:29,598 --> 00:04:32,016
I mean, I see guys my age
at the grocery store.
118
00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:33,935
They are not holding up so well.
119
00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:35,887
You cannot put a price
on this hairline.
120
00:04:36,121 --> 00:04:37,154
[Doorbell rings]
121
00:04:37,188 --> 00:04:39,473
- Marty!
- Marty!
122
00:04:39,524 --> 00:04:41,777
You guys look great.
Come in.
123
00:04:42,911 --> 00:04:44,211
Killer spot, dude!
124
00:04:44,212 --> 00:04:45,679
[Whistles] Nice pad, Marty.
125
00:04:45,714 --> 00:04:47,164
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
126
00:04:47,182 --> 00:04:48,616
Let's go have a couple of beers.
127
00:04:48,650 --> 00:04:49,700
We'll catch up
while we wait for Shane.
128
00:04:49,734 --> 00:04:51,335
Marty, Shane's no
longer with us.
129
00:04:51,353 --> 00:04:53,287
What? Oh, God. No.
He didn't...
130
00:04:53,321 --> 00:04:55,222
No, no. He's fine.
He married his yoga teacher.
131
00:04:55,257 --> 00:04:56,223
She's, like, 23.
132
00:04:56,274 --> 00:04:58,159
Poor guy's so tired,
he had to give up music.
133
00:04:58,193 --> 00:05:00,211
[Chuckles]
A fate worse than death.
134
00:05:00,245 --> 00:05:02,513
Except for the 23-year-old
yoga-teacher part.
135
00:05:03,447 --> 00:05:05,498
Hey, guys.
136
00:05:07,151 --> 00:05:08,768
Nice to see you again.
137
00:05:08,803 --> 00:05:10,403
- Deborah.
- Deborah.
138
00:05:10,438 --> 00:05:13,990
Listen, Marty, we know
it's a lot of pressure,
139
00:05:14,008 --> 00:05:16,026
but maybe you should
try playing lead guitar.
140
00:05:17,945 --> 00:05:20,697
Oh, yeah. I don't know.
I-I could try that out, I guess.
141
00:05:20,731 --> 00:05:22,916
Sure. You want to
hit the garage?
142
00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:25,602
- Let's rock.
- All right, bro.
143
00:05:29,423 --> 00:05:31,391
Just like old days, huh?
144
00:05:31,425 --> 00:05:33,526
This out of the way.
145
00:05:35,963 --> 00:05:37,780
Shane wanted you to have this.
146
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:40,616
The Shane saw.
147
00:05:45,539 --> 00:05:49,825
Thanks, guys.
Gentlemen, let's rock.
148
00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:52,128
One, two, three, four.
149
00:05:52,162 --> 00:05:54,864
[Discordant music plays]
150
00:06:02,171 --> 00:06:05,073
Stop that infernal
noise this minute!
151
00:06:05,107 --> 00:06:08,777
Good God, I could get
lost in those eyes.
152
00:06:08,811 --> 00:06:10,879
Hey, Larry, we're kind of
busy right now, buddy.
153
00:06:10,914 --> 00:06:11,897
You a musician, dude?
154
00:06:12,531 --> 00:06:15,900
Um, well, I dabbled
in the ukulele, dude.
155
00:06:15,935 --> 00:06:16,918
You got a good vibe,
156
00:06:16,952 --> 00:06:18,403
and we're short
a rhythm guitarist,
157
00:06:18,437 --> 00:06:19,337
if you want in.
158
00:06:19,371 --> 00:06:20,738
No, no.
No, guys, guys, hold on.
159
00:06:20,789 --> 00:06:22,540
Larry knows nothing
about rock music.
160
00:06:22,575 --> 00:06:24,559
Come on.
Give the dude a chance.
161
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:26,945
Seriously? Give him
the chain saw, bro.
162
00:06:29,565 --> 00:06:30,832
[Sighs]
163
00:06:30,866 --> 00:06:33,367
Mm.
164
00:06:33,385 --> 00:06:36,254
Let's see.
165
00:06:36,288 --> 00:06:37,722
[Discordant notes play]
166
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:40,658
Not as easy as I make
it look, is it, Larry?
167
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:42,877
Excuse me.
I never tried this before.
168
00:06:42,895 --> 00:06:45,930
[Melodic chords play]
169
00:06:47,733 --> 00:06:50,268
I think I'm getting it.
170
00:06:50,302 --> 00:06:53,354
Things take practice, you know.
171
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:58,092
[Electric guitar playing]
172
00:07:05,399 --> 00:07:09,569
Ooh. Yes, I'm really getting
the hang of it now.
173
00:07:11,922 --> 00:07:13,923
That took a while.
174
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:15,592
[Electric guitar solo]
175
00:07:31,727 --> 00:07:33,293
This Amber-and-Reggie breakup
176
00:07:33,311 --> 00:07:35,212
is more problematic
than I realized.
177
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,048
Amber's in her sixth
stage of Amber grief...
178
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,017
Make everyone around you cry.
179
00:07:40,051 --> 00:07:42,502
Which were also
stages one through five.
180
00:07:42,536 --> 00:07:44,354
If we want "Fast and
Furious" Fridays,
181
00:07:44,389 --> 00:07:46,423
then we're gonna have
to "Parent Trap" them.
182
00:07:46,457 --> 00:07:47,774
[Knock on door]
183
00:07:50,378 --> 00:07:52,713
What the hell do you want?
184
00:07:52,747 --> 00:07:54,097
I come bearing tidings
from my brother.
185
00:07:54,148 --> 00:07:56,383
- Amber wrote this for me?
- Mm-hmm.
186
00:07:56,417 --> 00:07:58,318
My heart is already singing.
187
00:07:59,621 --> 00:08:03,006
"Love alters not with his
brief hours and weeks,
188
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:06,459
"but bears it out even
to the edge of doom.
189
00:08:06,493 --> 00:08:08,044
Your friend, Reggie."
190
00:08:08,078 --> 00:08:10,680
Wow! I didn't know
the kid had it in him.
191
00:08:10,714 --> 00:08:11,914
"If you want to
get back together
192
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,699
"so we can watch 'Tokyo Drift'
193
00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:17,270
"with three adorable children,
check box 'a.'
194
00:08:17,304 --> 00:08:20,656
if not, check 'b.'
But check 'a.'"
195
00:08:20,691 --> 00:08:23,476
she also included
a "my little pony" sticker
196
00:08:23,510 --> 00:08:24,660
to sweeten the deal.
197
00:08:27,947 --> 00:08:29,848
Sorry, guys.
198
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,037
She's Satan's siren
199
00:08:35,088 --> 00:08:37,322
she's Satan's siren
200
00:08:37,357 --> 00:08:41,110
ye-e-e-ah
201
00:08:41,144 --> 00:08:42,745
yeah!
202
00:08:42,779 --> 00:08:45,264
[Note plays]
203
00:08:45,298 --> 00:08:46,532
[Song ends]
204
00:08:47,566 --> 00:08:50,268
Larry, how would you like
to be our lead guitarist.
205
00:08:50,302 --> 00:08:51,753
- What?!
- Sure.
206
00:08:51,787 --> 00:08:52,720
Hold on, guys.
207
00:08:52,755 --> 00:08:54,021
Wait, look,
Larry's great and all,
208
00:08:54,056 --> 00:08:55,139
but I don't
know if we're gonna...
209
00:08:55,157 --> 00:08:56,207
Come on, Marty.
210
00:08:56,241 --> 00:08:57,508
It's pretty obvious
that Larry Bird
211
00:08:57,543 --> 00:08:59,994
was meant to be the new
leader of Motor Baut.
212
00:09:00,045 --> 00:09:01,479
Yeah.
It's pretty obvious.
213
00:09:01,513 --> 00:09:04,899
Yeah, yeah. Totally.
No, I see... I see that.
214
00:09:04,950 --> 00:09:08,002
I'm gonna go, uh, get us some
sodas out of the fridge.
215
00:09:08,036 --> 00:09:11,506
Marty? One last thing
before you go.
216
00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:18,246
They took my pants, Deb.
217
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,214
Who took your pants, honey?
218
00:09:20,249 --> 00:09:22,100
The band.
219
00:09:22,134 --> 00:09:24,685
Yeah, they'll do that.
220
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,422
221
00:09:42,636 --> 00:09:46,555
Our three ships
landed on the same shore
222
00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:50,876
we each had a shot,
every one of us scored
223
00:09:50,911 --> 00:09:54,763
we three vikings
made out with the shore
224
00:09:54,781 --> 00:09:59,185
and we never were found,
yeah
225
00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:02,171
she's Satan's siren,
she'll ruin your life
226
00:10:02,205 --> 00:10:06,092
Oh. High-school reunions
are so wonderful.
227
00:10:06,143 --> 00:10:08,261
Must be so nice to
have all these people
228
00:10:08,295 --> 00:10:10,046
you share a past with.
229
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,931
You're so lucky, Debbie Weaver.
230
00:10:11,965 --> 00:10:14,267
Yeah, yeah.
I wonder if Tina's here yet.
231
00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:18,920
Lorraine Warner?
It is so good to see you.
232
00:10:20,006 --> 00:10:21,539
Oh. Thank you.
233
00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:22,974
That's the third person
234
00:10:23,009 --> 00:10:25,460
to call me "Lorraine"
since we've arrived.
235
00:10:26,094 --> 00:10:29,413
Yeah, um, Bayonne High
was like 90% Italian.
236
00:10:29,448 --> 00:10:30,998
The rest were Irish.
237
00:10:31,033 --> 00:10:33,367
There was one black girl,
Lorraine Warner.
238
00:10:33,402 --> 00:10:35,937
- So everyone thinks that I'm her.
- Yeah. I'm sorry.
239
00:10:35,971 --> 00:10:37,121
But don't you see?
240
00:10:37,155 --> 00:10:39,190
If I'm Lorraine Warner,
then I have a past.
241
00:10:39,224 --> 00:10:40,741
It's like being home again.
242
00:10:40,775 --> 00:10:43,644
I have to go catch up
with my old friends.
243
00:10:45,647 --> 00:10:48,399
Wait a sec.
Don't tell me.
244
00:10:48,433 --> 00:10:52,353
Uh... um...
245
00:10:52,387 --> 00:10:54,472
Debbie Alper?
246
00:10:54,506 --> 00:10:56,407
[Both chuckle]
247
00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:59,643
Uh, let me think.
Uh...
248
00:10:59,794 --> 00:11:03,597
Tina... Giannulli?
249
00:11:03,631 --> 00:11:05,482
Ah.
Come here, you!
250
00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:08,485
She's Satan's siren
251
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,320
she's Satan's siren
252
00:11:10,354 --> 00:11:11,102
ye-e-e-ah
253
00:11:16,878 --> 00:11:22,166
aha, ye-e-e-ah
254
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,884
yeah!
255
00:11:23,918 --> 00:11:27,087
[Cheers and applause]
256
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,491
Greetings, suburban
middle-aged mediocrities.
257
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,094
I am Larry Bird,
and we are Motor Baut.
258
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:38,514
And we'll be back in a short
while to rock some more.
259
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,249
[Cheers and applause]
260
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:49,642
Hey, Larry, this reunion
was my chance to rock again
261
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,377
after all these years,
and you're ruining it for me.
262
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:55,030
I think that it's time
you stepped aside.
263
00:11:55,865 --> 00:11:57,098
After all the time
and effort I put
264
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,868
into being the world's
greatest guitar player?
265
00:11:59,902 --> 00:12:01,653
Yes.
266
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:04,889
Gentlemen of Motor Baut,
it's come to my attention
267
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,842
that Marty Weaver would
like me to leave the band.
268
00:12:07,877 --> 00:12:10,178
Marty, are you seriously trying
to sabotage this band again?
269
00:12:10,212 --> 00:12:11,629
Not sabotage, per se.
270
00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:14,632
Look, I know we all
made out with your wife,
271
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,267
but that was years ago, man.
272
00:12:16,301 --> 00:12:19,254
- Get over yourself.
- Wait. What?
273
00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:22,856
So, after my nationally
televised appearance
274
00:12:22,891 --> 00:12:24,842
on the hit ABC show
"Shark Tank,"
275
00:12:24,876 --> 00:12:26,644
Barbara saw
raw potential in me,
276
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:29,346
and she encouraged me
to enroll in business school.
277
00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:31,315
Oh, well, Debbie,
278
00:12:31,349 --> 00:12:35,452
a strong foundation in business
is a wonderful thing.
279
00:12:35,486 --> 00:12:36,620
Which is why my husband and I
280
00:12:36,638 --> 00:12:39,056
just donated a library
to a business school.
281
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:42,058
Library?
Oh, you mean like the books.
282
00:12:42,192 --> 00:12:43,376
Sure.
283
00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,862
The books, the walls,
the floor, the ceiling.
284
00:12:45,896 --> 00:12:47,597
The hard part was
figuring out a name,
285
00:12:47,631 --> 00:12:51,050
because the school gymnasium
already had our name on it.
286
00:12:51,085 --> 00:12:53,019
[Chuckles] [Chuckles]
287
00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:55,004
That's tough.
288
00:12:55,039 --> 00:12:56,239
Oh.
289
00:12:56,273 --> 00:12:57,440
[Door closes]
290
00:12:57,574 --> 00:12:59,592
All right, quick,
somebody make sure
291
00:12:59,643 --> 00:13:01,110
there's a tight tourniquet
to stop the bleeding.
292
00:13:01,145 --> 00:13:03,763
If we act fast enough,
we can save the arm.
293
00:13:04,214 --> 00:13:05,514
What the hell is going on?
294
00:13:05,549 --> 00:13:07,483
Reggie, I have
a confession to make.
295
00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:09,518
Max didn't really
chop off his arm.
296
00:13:09,553 --> 00:13:11,020
Well, since we're here,
we might as well
297
00:13:11,054 --> 00:13:13,422
stick around and see
which way Tokyo is drifting.
298
00:13:13,457 --> 00:13:14,423
Am I right?
299
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:20,929
Guys, listen, Amber and I
aren't together anymore.
300
00:13:20,964 --> 00:13:23,232
We're not gonna be hanging
out like we used to.
301
00:13:23,266 --> 00:13:24,817
But you're still
next-door neighbors.
302
00:13:24,851 --> 00:13:26,885
Yeah, doesn't that
trump former lovers?
303
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,171
Okay, never use
the word "lovers" again.
304
00:13:29,205 --> 00:13:30,772
And, also, when you're exes,
305
00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:33,108
sometimes you need
a long cooling-off period.
306
00:13:33,126 --> 00:13:35,878
It's not gonna be the same.
This is between me and Amber.
307
00:13:35,912 --> 00:13:38,130
We're still gonna be your
big brother and big sister,
308
00:13:38,164 --> 00:13:40,949
just not together.
309
00:13:40,984 --> 00:13:42,167
[Sighs]
310
00:13:42,702 --> 00:13:46,037
I think we just found out
which way Tokyo's drifting.
311
00:13:48,891 --> 00:13:51,109
Honestly, bro,
where do you think
312
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,194
all our great songs came from?
313
00:13:53,228 --> 00:13:55,446
"Satan's siren,"
"The tramp from Bayonne."
314
00:13:55,497 --> 00:13:57,782
"Dirty Debbie."
I mean, come on.
315
00:13:57,816 --> 00:14:00,668
I thought that song was about
the lunch lady in the cafeteria
316
00:14:00,702 --> 00:14:02,036
who never changed her apron.
317
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:03,771
Mm... nope.
318
00:14:03,805 --> 00:14:05,823
It took me 25 years
to figure out
319
00:14:05,857 --> 00:14:08,459
that "Satan's siren"
isn't just about a boat?
320
00:14:08,493 --> 00:14:11,429
Dude, it's never
just about a boat.
321
00:14:11,463 --> 00:14:12,797
322
00:14:12,848 --> 00:14:14,599
Lorraine, remember the time
323
00:14:14,633 --> 00:14:17,285
you set off that cherry bomb
inside Mrs. Schwartz's car?
324
00:14:17,319 --> 00:14:19,236
[New Jersey accent] Well,
she was just begging for it,
325
00:14:19,288 --> 00:14:21,555
always busting my chops
all the time.
326
00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:24,191
I always thought you were
the coolest girl at school.
327
00:14:24,225 --> 00:14:27,261
[Chuckles]
You girls are too cute.
328
00:14:27,296 --> 00:14:29,397
Too cute.
329
00:14:30,631 --> 00:14:33,066
Anyway, with the twins
away at Harvard,
330
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:35,418
we spend most of our time
at the Turks and Caicos house.
331
00:14:35,469 --> 00:14:38,571
Hmm. Well,
congratulations, Tina.
332
00:14:38,606 --> 00:14:39,873
You win.
333
00:14:39,907 --> 00:14:41,841
Win?
[Scoffs]
334
00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:43,927
Well, Debbie, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
335
00:14:43,961 --> 00:14:45,044
Sure, you don't.
336
00:14:45,078 --> 00:14:47,213
I may not have mansions
or vacation homes
337
00:14:47,247 --> 00:14:49,048
or prize-winning poodles,
but I have something
338
00:14:49,082 --> 00:14:52,168
that is way more important
than that... my family.
339
00:14:52,203 --> 00:14:54,971
I have three wonderful kids,
a husband I adore.
340
00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:56,973
Our relationship is rock solid.
341
00:14:57,024 --> 00:14:59,475
You made out with
every guy in my band?
342
00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:02,061
- You're Satan's siren!
- What?
343
00:15:02,095 --> 00:15:04,397
This whole relationship
is built on lies.
344
00:15:04,431 --> 00:15:06,783
This marriage is a sham.
345
00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:12,739
I know a great divorce attorney
from my country club.
346
00:15:12,773 --> 00:15:14,240
Oh, shut up, Tina!
347
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:24,131
348
00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:29,820
You see that sandwich?
349
00:15:29,854 --> 00:15:33,323
It's me.
The leftover.
350
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,659
The last choice.
351
00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:37,427
You know, I think
a more apt metaphor
352
00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:40,030
is that Debbie is like
this party sandwich
353
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,582
in that everybody here
has already had a piece.
354
00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:44,517
You know, this just
reinforces my feelings
355
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:45,735
about being second-rate.
356
00:15:45,769 --> 00:15:48,455
You know, backup guitarist,
backup boyfriend,
357
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,290
backup husband.
358
00:15:50,341 --> 00:15:52,576
Maybe. Sure.
359
00:15:53,710 --> 00:15:55,978
You know, Larry,
I was mad at you
360
00:15:56,029 --> 00:15:58,881
for stealing the spotlight,
but let's be honest.
361
00:15:58,915 --> 00:16:01,166
The spotlight was
never mine to begin with.
362
00:16:01,201 --> 00:16:01,701
363
00:16:05,438 --> 00:16:07,039
Hello.
364
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:09,308
Would you like me to sign
your breast, wing, or thigh?
365
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:12,895
I have an awesome idea!
366
00:16:12,929 --> 00:16:15,714
Let's all go down the shore
in my Camaro,
367
00:16:15,749 --> 00:16:18,617
get some hoagies and
Italian ices at Jersey free...
368
00:16:18,651 --> 00:16:22,170
369
00:16:22,188 --> 00:16:25,574
Having fun, Lorraine?
370
00:16:25,608 --> 00:16:27,159
Take me in your arms
371
00:16:28,193 --> 00:16:30,395
[British accent] If anybody
asks, you're in ad sales.
372
00:16:30,429 --> 00:16:32,513
Suddenly, I feel light-headed
- mnh-mnh-mnh.
373
00:16:32,547 --> 00:16:35,450
The room is spinning,
I've lost my senses
374
00:16:35,484 --> 00:16:40,321
[All murmuring]
375
00:16:40,355 --> 00:16:44,342
376
00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:47,704
I'm sorry, Marty.
377
00:16:47,705 --> 00:16:49,931
I should have
told you about Rob.
378
00:16:50,065 --> 00:16:51,099
And John.
379
00:16:51,133 --> 00:16:53,017
And Shane.
380
00:16:53,052 --> 00:16:55,186
And Trudy.
381
00:16:58,423 --> 00:17:00,173
How do you think I feel, Deb?
382
00:17:00,191 --> 00:17:02,609
Finding out 25 years
after high school
383
00:17:02,627 --> 00:17:03,877
that I was your last choice.
384
00:17:03,895 --> 00:17:07,113
So I kissed the other
guys in your band.
385
00:17:07,131 --> 00:17:10,117
But then you and I got together,
and everyone else fell away.
386
00:17:10,151 --> 00:17:12,252
You weren't
my last choice, Marty.
387
00:17:12,286 --> 00:17:13,620
You were my best choice.
388
00:17:13,655 --> 00:17:16,323
You won, Marty.
We both did.
389
00:17:16,357 --> 00:17:19,109
So come on. Are we okay?
390
00:17:22,613 --> 00:17:25,849
I don't know, Deb.
I think I need more time.
391
00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:28,168
[Sighs]
392
00:17:28,402 --> 00:17:32,772
I'm lying alone
with my head on the phone
393
00:17:32,807 --> 00:17:35,942
thinking of you
till it hurts
394
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,294
[Indistinct conversations]
395
00:17:37,328 --> 00:17:41,264
I know you hurt, too,
but what else can we do?
396
00:17:42,399 --> 00:17:45,100
Tormented and torn apart
- not Lorraine anymore.
397
00:17:45,951 --> 00:17:46,602
For a little while,
398
00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:49,755
it was nice to be somebody
who had old friends.
399
00:17:49,989 --> 00:17:51,306
Well, I'm your friend.
400
00:17:51,357 --> 00:17:55,177
And this reunion's making
me feel pretty old.
401
00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:59,214
- Oh, Jackie.
it would make me
believe what tomorrow could bring
402
00:17:59,248 --> 00:18:03,435
Playing "remember when"
is a dangerous game.
403
00:18:03,469 --> 00:18:05,337
I'm all out of love
404
00:18:05,371 --> 00:18:07,406
I'm so lost without you
- coming back to these reunions,
405
00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:09,825
we're trying to recapture the
feeling of our teenage years,
406
00:18:09,859 --> 00:18:11,960
but is that a place you
really want to go back to?
407
00:18:11,994 --> 00:18:14,513
I'm all out of love,
what am I without you?
408
00:18:14,548 --> 00:18:16,948
We romanticize high school, but
the truth is it wasn't easy.
409
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:20,001
I can't be too late
to say that I was so wrong
410
00:18:20,036 --> 00:18:22,821
There were tough times,
broken hearts,
411
00:18:22,855 --> 00:18:24,823
friends that let you down.
412
00:18:24,857 --> 00:18:28,660
I want you to come back
and carry me home
413
00:18:28,694 --> 00:18:30,454
- Marty.
away from these long, lonely nights
414
00:18:30,463 --> 00:18:33,014
I got carried away
being a living God.
415
00:18:33,049 --> 00:18:37,202
These pants belong to you.
416
00:18:37,236 --> 00:18:39,955
Does the feeling seem, oh, so right?
- Really, Larry?
417
00:18:39,989 --> 00:18:42,524
- Thank you.
and what would you
say if I called on you now?
418
00:18:42,558 --> 00:18:45,243
You have to put them back on,
though. Security's coming.
419
00:18:45,261 --> 00:18:47,229
They'll never catch me.
420
00:18:47,263 --> 00:18:50,749
Rock 'n' roll!
421
00:18:50,783 --> 00:18:56,721
Debbie: But sometimes,
if you're really lucky,
422
00:18:56,739 --> 00:18:58,707
some of the best things
from high school
423
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:02,160
stay with you forever.
424
00:19:04,295 --> 00:19:06,029
[Tapping]
425
00:19:06,063 --> 00:19:08,531
This... this song
is for my wife, Debbie.
426
00:19:08,549 --> 00:19:11,284
I-I realized something
tonight.
427
00:19:11,335 --> 00:19:14,037
I was a, uh,
backup rhythm guitarist
428
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:16,773
who was never really
in the blue light.
429
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,174
But somehow,
430
00:19:18,192 --> 00:19:21,561
the most amazing woman
in the world still saw me.
431
00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:24,714
I'm the luckiest sailor ever.
432
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:26,950
433
00:19:35,493 --> 00:19:40,280
After she pillaged
and plundered our hearts
434
00:19:40,314 --> 00:19:44,467
she ended up
more viking than us
435
00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:57,414
that good-for-nothing
two-timer
436
00:19:59,048 --> 00:20:01,316
and her siren call
437
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:02,567
Yeah.
438
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:06,404
She's Satan's siren,
she changed my life
439
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:11,076
she's Satan's siren,
I made her my wife
440
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:23,504
she's Satan's siren,
I need her tonight
441
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:28,309
Debbie Weaver,
you make everything right
442
00:20:32,763 --> 00:20:33,914
[Cheers and applause]
443
00:20:33,948 --> 00:20:36,818
Thank you, Bayonne High!
I love you guys!
444
00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:44,925
- I love you.
- Oh, I love you, too, baby.
445
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:49,046
I think these are
the P.E. teacher's panties.
446
00:20:49,097 --> 00:20:50,330
Well, that's
rock 'n' roll, baby.
447
00:20:50,348 --> 00:20:55,302
[Crowd chanting]
448
00:21:10,009 --> 00:21:11,159
She's Satan's siren
449
00:21:11,177 --> 00:21:12,211
she's Satan's siren
450
00:21:12,262 --> 00:21:16,265
ye-e-e-ah
451
00:21:16,299 --> 00:21:18,100
we thought we were tough
452
00:21:18,134 --> 00:21:20,636
we were vikings, after all
453
00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:22,721
we thought
we were strong enough
454
00:21:22,772 --> 00:21:24,773
we had all the gold
455
00:21:24,807 --> 00:21:27,442
how did she end up with that
456
00:21:27,477 --> 00:21:32,147
lead cannonball?
457
00:21:32,181 --> 00:21:33,314
Yeah.
458
00:21:33,364 --> 00:21:37,914
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