All language subtitles for The Neighbors s01e21 Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems.eng

And bam, the guy came out of nowhere.

You know how quiet
those priuses can be.

It was parked.

- Parked quietly.
- Uh-huh.

I don't know what's going on
with me this week.

First,
there was the parking ticket.

Then it was the incident
at the shoe store.

What incident?

Well, I was having feelings,
and so I bought some shoes.

- Oh, boy.
- More than "some."

An entire section.
Bill's coming.

But before you say anything,

I'm gonna pay for it
with my own money.

What are you talking about?
How you gonna...

I was thinking that maybe

- to earn, I...
- Oh, no.

Please don't tell me you're
gonna do the purse thing again.

- Thing?
- Hobby?

Business?
Because it broke even.

- Even?
- Almost even.

Oh, don't worry.
I'm not gonna make new ones.

I just thought I'd sell
the ones I have left over.

You know what?
Let's have a garage sale!

No. Honey, we don't have to
sell off our old junk, okay?

I'll just pay for the repairs.
My money is our money.

Our money is my money.
That feels worse.

Uh, the money...
Okay, it's just money

that we have...
we're gonna have a garage sale.

Yeah.

So while people are picking through our old crap
in the front yard,

you might wanna give
the heads-up to the other aliens

to stay inside, maybe keep
the strange to a minimum.

Yes, 'cause there's nothing strange
about humans picking through your old crap.

Ba-zing!

Oh. Dick's been watching reruns
of your old late night talk shows.

He's decided he wants to be
a sidekick someday.

- Hey-o!
- Help me, Debbie Weaver.

I'm one ba-zing away
from blowing my brains out.

Well, Jackie, I could use
your help dealing with the money for the sale.

I have this mental block
with business.

My whole family has it.

And yet every one of them wanted
to start their own business.

Yeah. My dad drive two different
companies into the ground,

and my brothers helped him.
We're bad with numbers.

Last time they tried
to figure out a tip,

it took so long they had to stay
for a second meal.

(Slurps)

Uh-huh. So, Jackie,
what do you say?

I'd love it if you worked
the cashbox.

(Gasps) Work?
I'd love to work.

Don't be absurd.
You're a female.

You can't work
outside the home.

You know, for an evolved species,
your idea of gender roles is very outdated.

Actually, Debbie,
it's a matter of safety.

Zabvronian females
lack a skin enzyme

that we males are born with.

As a result, on our planet,

the women can't go outside
the house

or they get burned alive
by our atmosphere.

(Imitates explosion)

Well, Larry, women can
go outside on earth, so...

Oh, doesn't mean they have
any business in the workplace.

Men are better at it.

We command more respect.
We are born leaders.

Put a cork in it,
four-eyes.

I'd love to sell
your old crap,

and you can't stop me.

Jackie Joyner-Kersee,
everybody!

And now a word from
the good people at texaco.

S01E21
Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems

synced and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com

This is today?

We're having the sale now?

Wow, Marty,

you've really gotta start paying
more attention around here.

Deb, there's way too much to keep track of.
(Sighs deeply)

Okay, there's you, Amber, Max,
Abby, aliens next door.

Everybody's got
all these little things.

So a customer approaches,

and I'm supposed to see how much
money I can get for this?

No, no, no, no, no.
I wanna do these puzzles.

When are you gonna do
the puzzles?

All right, you know how I'm always looking
for that father and son thing to do with Max?

Maybe doing puzzles
is our thing.

- It's not our thing.
- It's gonna be our thing.

You can't just pick a thing!

Our thing has been picked.
So now move. Go!

- (Gasps) Ooh, Jackie.
- Mm?

- I think we have our first customer.
- Oh!

Hi.

This is quite the racquet
you've got here.

It's not a racket, sir.
It's a garage sale.

And everything is
completely above board!

The racquet.

I'll give you ten bucks
for it?

Grandma's painting of Max.

Somebody, this will
be evidence in a trial.

(Laughing) Amber Weaver,
you make me laugh,

even when I know
I shouldn't.

(Continues laughing)

There's
my favorite boyfriend!

Oh! (Giggles)

Great painting.

(Stifling laugh)

What?

Nothing.
It's an inside joke.

But we're outside,
so it's an outside joke.

(Giggles)
(Groans loudly)

(Horn honks)

Oh, my God. Why is Jeremy here?

(Car door closes)
Because he's your boyfriend.

No, they broke up.

What? You didn't tell me that.

It's totally over.

Everyone knows it.
He just won't go away.

He's like "American idol."

(Laughing)
Yes?

I got good news for you,
dude.

I'm ready to take you back.

I have bad news for you,
ma'am.

I broke up with you.

It's over, Jeremy.

Amber, we can work this out.

You said you like
"American idol."

Shh!

Please, dad.
Puzzles are so boring.

Max, when we finish, we're gonna
put a layer of glue on it,

- we're gonna hang it on the wall...
- I'm done.

Wow.

Well, that was fun. See ya.

No, no, no, no. Wait, Max.

You want me to do
the other one?

No, the point isn't
how fast we can do it.

- The point is...
- Done.

How did you do that?

(Whispers) That's insane.

No. I'm not going above 8%.

Are you looking for anything
in particular?

- Ooh. I did not like that.
- You're not gonna screw me.

Go find somebody else to sell
your cheap dumb quilts, mom.

(Disconnects call)
Uh...

Can we help you
find something?

Stop. Purse. Love.

Oh. Thank you.
(Exhales)

I made them myself.

It started out
as something fun,

and then I tried turning it
into a business.

- (Whispers) Wow.
- But, um...

(Normal voice)
That is really boring.

Not interested
in your personal life.

What are these made of?

- My kids' old clothes.
- Oh!

- These were Abby's old overalls...
- Okay.

- Sewn in...
- Sleeping. Eyes open, but I'm asleep.

Let me ask you a question.

I have a booth at
the buyer's mart on Monday.

I could sell all of these.

I'll give you 25 bucks
for all 11.

- $30 each.
- What?

I said $30 each.

10 bucks each, but I need
an extra 5 by Monday.

$25 each and she'll make you
an extra 10.

Done.

It's really wonderful to see
women supporting one another.

I know. It's a sense
of community...

Okay, she's walking away.

Oh, my God, Jackie!
(Laughs)

- You were amazing!
- I love business!

How much
for this lanyard bracelet?

$146,000.

This is what my life's been missing, Jackie.
(Scanner beeping)

I feel like myself again,
doing what I went to school for.

You went to school
for talking about yourself?

- No. Design.
- (Whispers) Oh.

I knew this business
could be something.

It was just missing
an important ingredient...

you.

Oh. We make a great team.

That'll be $535.

Uh-oh. Are we spending more
than we're earning?

$25 times 11 purses,

and then we're gonna add
the ten new purses,

and then carry the 5...

Ohh. This is what I inherit
from my family...

not my mom's tight can,
not my father's feet.

I hope I don't pass it on
to my kids.

Oh, my God! Abby! (Gasps)

(Dials)

(Cell phone rings)

What's up, babe?

I totally spaced on
Abby's Sunshine Scout meeting.

They're dropping the girls off
any minute.

Watch 'em till I get there.

Oh, no, I can't, babe.

I'm all the way downtown
at the puzzle store buying glue.

Okay, Marty, that is so sad
I hope that is a lie

and that you're really
at a strip club.

Nope.
I'm at the Puzizzle Stizzle

getting more glizzle
and some more puzizzles

'cause dick did 'em all.

(Beep)
(Sighs)

Marty can't watch them.

Hello?

I'll call Larry.
He's a man of leisure.

He never does anything.

Larry watchin' little girls?

What's that look like?

- Ohh.
- Mnh.

We're supposed to be talking
about badges.

What are we doing?

What your mothers are
supposed to be doing...

preparing you for your future,
little women.

This is how you will spend
your days...

in the kitchen,

quietly waiting for your
husbands to come home from work.

Don't... get... fat.

(Door closes)
Girls?

I'm sorry. What's going on?

He said that we had to learn

how to wait for our husbands
to come home.

What? Larry.

(Jackie) Great, Jill.

Well, we're very excited.

You've been so... hello?

Jill?

Okay.

Wonderful news.

I was able to up the price
to $35 a purse.

- We're officially turning a profit.
- Oh!

Larry, take a look at this.

- This is women working.
- Mm-hmm!

We just have to get her
50 purses instead of 20 by Monday.

50 purses by Monday?

W... you said we needed
more money.

Oh, Jackie, we're in
way over our heads.

Oh. I'm not cut out for this.

No, no. It's my fault.
I'm poison.

I'm no good with numbers!
I'm no good with business!

- (Jackie) No, no, no! I should've asked.
- Scouts, watch closely.

Women working.

- (Debbie) I failed once. I'm gonna fail again.
- (Jackie) No, you're not.

And we are back.

Dick, stop sidekicking.

Jackie, I don't care if
we have to stay up all night.

We are making those purses.

(Gasps) Ooh!
(Opener rattles)

And here's
the most important tool.

Larry,
how you doing in there?

Riveted.

And now you braid
the three braids

into one big braid.

(Scoffs)
Good luck with that.

Like that?

Oh, my.

It's actually working...

braiding the braids.

That's really thinking
outside the box.

Tanner, my God!

Is that a fishtail French twist?
(Gasps)

Do you know how long I've been trying
to teach Dick to do a fishtail French twist?

See? We can do stuff.

So can you please help us
earn some badges

so we don't waste our whole day?

Oh, I want to say "no,"

but your 12 little eyes
are working overtime.

Even Tanner's lazy one is
pulling at my heartstrings.

Is she looking at me?
Is she looking at the wall?

I don't know and I don't care.

Ladies, to your feet.

Perhaps with a man in charge...
(Door closes)

this troop can make something
of themselves.

Hey, Lar. You guys wanna
help us do some puzzles?

Guess again, asshat.

Come on, lady army.
Let's get our badges on.

He just call me "asshat"?

Okay.

(Mouths words)

(Thud)
Ow!

And we are...

Done! (Gasps)

49 to go.

We're never gonna make it!

Not a chance in hell.

(Exhales deeply)

Maybe Larry bird was right.

We just aren't cut out
for work.

Oh, well, don't go there.
This isn't about women working.

There are plenty of
successful women in business...

- Oprah.
- Oh, her network is a failure.

- Martha Stewart.
- Jailbird.

Okay, Jackie, we're not failing
because we're women.

We're failing because
we're failures.

Now you're just trying
to make me feel better.

And you're gonna make me
feel better.

(Dance music playing)
I've led many revolutions,

but never one
through dance dance.

Husband, what are you doing?
(Pauses game)

These beautiful creatures

have already earned
four badges today,

and they did it
with a joie de vivre

and a sense of silliness

that our boys have never
come close to exhibiting.

Oh, husband, I'm so glad that
someone is having some joie,

because you were right.

I should never have become
involved in work.

I messed it all up.

I'm sure you didn't,
Mrs. Joyner-Kersee.

Oh, that is so sweet.

You help each other.

You girls are wonderful.

I'll play solo against
the computer.

(Resumes game)
Ooh!

You're good.

Can't Dick
just do this one also?

No. Then we don't feel
that sense of accomplishment

when all the pieces
fall into place.

Hey, baby.

Jeremy called. Three times.
He came by twice.

(Amber) What?

What's the matter, kiddo?
Can I help?

I don't know. Can you?

I'm trying to decide if I should
settle for the guy who likes me

or go with
the guy I really like

even though
he's seeing someone.

What do you got?

Clowns.

You see? What was that?

Yeah, everything moves so fast
around here.

I wish it would just slow down
so I could see the whole field.

You know, like when you're
in the zone in football.

You played football?

No, but I heard Dan Marino
say it once,

and I thought it was awesome.

Maybe I should get Deb.

You sure?
Because leaving it to mom

won't... (Deep voice) "Give you
that feeling of accomplishment

when all the pieces
fall into place."

Is that me?
Yeah.

(Plays rimshot)

Trying out props.

(Doorbell ringing)
(Jill) Hello?!

It's for me! I'll get it!

Hi!
Well, hi.

Shh! Not you.

I say you get the procedure.

You won't have a face
for 11 days, but when you heal,

you'll look like your own baby.
All right, I gotta go.

My turn? I wasn't expecting you
till Monday.

Like I care. Schedules change.
Give me the purses.

- Okay, here's the thing...
- Debbie Weaver!

Before you say another word,
I have something to show you.

I think you'll both
be very pleased.

It really is about
women helping women.

Larry's scout meeting
gave me the idea. Come see.

There was a problem with
production at the beginning,

but I've solved it.
Behold!

(Debbie) Oh, my God.

I was wrong.

Women should work.

- Oh, my God.
- Uh-huh.

Their fingers are so little,

they can put the snaps on
much more quickly.

(Pounds metal tabletop)

Please tell me these are
very small 18 year olds.

Oh, my God.
I'm running' a sweatshop.

O, no, no.
Girls, stop. Just stop.

I am not a part of this.
I was never here.

And you... this isn't my fault.
Stop looking at me.

I'm looking at the wall.

The deal is off.

Jill, wait!

Okay. Good-bye, dreams.

Okay, girls, why don't you go
back over to my house?

And I'll help you earn...
(Garage door whirring)

the "how to lie to your parents
about what happened here" badge.

I see sunlight.

Air. Sweet, sweet air.

Why is it so hot in here?

Makes their fingers
more pliable.

Oh, my God.

I thought this would be
a good thing.

We're solving our problem.

Totally changed my mind
about women working.

They're not women, Larry.
They're children.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna make
some preemptive apology calls

to five sets of parents.
And after that,

I'm gonna take a bath
in chardonnay and cheese popcorn

while Marty says "I told ya so."

Adieu.

Hey, I got a piece.
I got one, too.

Maybe puzzles really is our thing.
(Chuckles)

We can do this.
(Door closes)

Oh. Hey, girls.

I think I have carpal tunnel.

Hey-o! That's what she said!

Hey, buddy,
sometimes less is more.

(Jeremy) Amber! Amber!

Seriously?!
Hey! How are all men idiots?

All men are not idiots.

(Snaps)
(Grunts)

I mean, well, not all men.

Yep. Idiots.

Dude, before
you embarrass yourself,

I would just...

And I see I am too late.

Good God, man. Why am I
on the hood of your car?

And why am I latina?

Technically, it's Selena.

The guys at the detail place
only paint dead Latin pop stars,

and you looked more like her
than ritchie valens.

Pretty romantic, right?

(Giselle) Hi, everyone!

Amazing paint job, Jeremy.

- I love Eva Longoria, too!
- Thanks.

- You guys are back together.
- Since when?

- Today.
- You are completely insane.

Are you back together?

Dude, wait!

Dude, wait.

Dude, wait!

Amber! Just...

Hear me out.

I, like... miss us.

(Girls) Aw!

Really? I don't need
a studio audience.

(Girls) Aw.

Jeremy, you have to
listen to me.

There is no "us."

There's no "us"?

I mean, you.

That's great news.

Why is that great news?

(Amber) Which part is confusing?
"Break" or "up"?

Amber, let me know
if you need me.

Marty, there's no easy way
to say this.

I have lost
a lot of your money.

Our money. The money.

Please, Debbie Weaver.

I admit that the child slave
labor might have been a misstep,

but don't give up on us.

Not on "bag hags."

I was trying out a new name.
Sleep on it.

Bag hags.

Call it whatever you want.
It's a failure, and so am I.

- I think...
- Hello! A piece of the puzzle.

(Amber) I don't want to talk about it.
(Jeremy speaks indistinctly)

- I don't want to talk about it.
- Amber, why don't you like me anymore?

I'm out.
No. No.

(Amber, Jeremy, Debbie,
and Jackie talking at once)

The pieces are coming together.

(Voices slowing down)

(Two steps from hell's
"starfleet" playing)

(All speaking inaudibly)

Stop!

I can see the whole field.

I am Dan Marino.

Debbie, your problem is not
about making purses and money.

You wanna feel like
you contribute to this family,

but you do, more than
you can possibly imagine.

Really?

- Jackie.
- Hmm?

You want a career,

and not because you won't
explode on earth

- but because you're good at it.
- I am.

Besides, you're gonna need
the money because Larry...

- wants a daughter.
- I do?

- You do?
- I do.

Two pieces at once!

And, Amber, you're not gonna
settle for Jeremy,

because even though
he's seeing someone else,

Reggie is really
the guy that you like.

- You do?
- He is?

The last piece.
We solved the puzzle!

It is our thing!

- We solved the puzzle.
- Thank you, Mr. Weaver.

It's nice that someone was
up front with me.

I just wish it'd happened
before I spent $89.95

getting her painted
on my car.

Oh. Come on.

I mean, clearly, the pressure
of a high stakes puzzle

caused my father
to lose his mind.

He has no idea
what he's talking about.

Oh. (Exhales)

Wow!

That's... a relief.

Okay, Giselle,

let's go listen to some records
or some crap.

Good-bye, Amber.

Okay. Bye.
Friendly good-bye.

Friends saying bye.

I'll be right there.

Listen, Giselle, I really am
sorry about all of...

Look, I'm not stupid.

I see the way
you make him laugh.

I know you like him,
and now he knows, too.

- But...
- Not done.

Here's what
you need to know...

I like him
and I'm not going away.

I fight
for the things I like.

I fought for season nine
of "one Tree Hill,"

and I will fight for Reggie.

You mess with the bull,
you get the horns.

(Door opens and closes)
Oh, my God. She's crazy.

Hey.
Hey.

We found this in the garbage
and thought that you might still need it.

That's very sweet.

It's also dirty because it was on top of
the spaghetti that we threw out last night.

Max, do you have something
you wanna give your mom?

It's my allowance.
It's for "bag ladies."

It's bag hags.

I just gave you my allowance.
Let's be flexible with the name.

Deal.

$137 in nickels, dimes,
and quarters.

Use it well.

If I could offer a name,

"Debbie's pursey cats."

If you hate it, that's cool.

I love it.

And here you go.

My checkbook is your checkbook.
Okay?

We just wanted to say
that we believe in you

and we would like
to invest in your business.

(Whispers) Thanks.

I'm very touched.

Kids, I can't take your money.

And, Marty,
I can't take your pity.

No, this isn't pity.
It's greed.

You have something here, Deb.
Okay?

And you're gonna figure out
the business side.

You wanna know why?
'Cause you're smart

and you're creative,
and most of all,

you have a great personality.

"Purse-onality"? Huh?

Come on. They're purses
with personalities?

Oh, okay, pursey cat.
What, that makes sense?

At least it's better than...
(Deep voice) Purse-onality.

It's bag ladies!

- Bag ladies?
- Yeah!

It's like a homeless company.
What is that?

Yeah! I know!
(Shouts indistinctly)

They're your children.

Put down the trans fats,
Debbie Weaver.

I'll run
your scout meeting today.

Oh, that is so sweet,
but I really...

I insist. These girls are such
a welcome relief from my sons.

Those innocent rays
of feminine sunshine

brighten my day
with their positive simplicity.

Girls! Uncle Larry's back.

I should be the spinner
because I'm the prettiest!

As if, copycat!

You got that butterfly barrette
because I had it!

You both have
the wrong head shape for it!

Who ya talking to, googly eyes?
We can't tell.

- Oh, real nice!
- You're mean!

You left the trans fats in
the kitchen. Enjoy the meeting.

This is my house!
I'm the boss around here

and ya play by my rules!

- Debbie?
- I don't wanna play your...

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