All language subtitles for The Neighbors s01e13 Dream Weavers.eng

You're the only one
who agrees with me.

Yeah. I don't get
the vampire thing, either.

They're all
in such bad moods.

I know.
They're so mopey.

It's like, so you're undead.

Cheer up and get a tan,
am I right?

You are right.

- That was good.
- Yeah?

Just like I showed you.

- So, Amber...
- Well done, Weaver.

Thank you.

What was that for?

Nothing.
Um, what were you saying?

I've been hearing quite a bit of talk
about an upcoming dance.

Yeah?

And I was wondering if...

You would...

Wow, Amber, nice score.

Thank you so much.

Sorry. I'm totally distracted.

Jeremy asked me
to the dance.

I know. It's crazy.

Every girl wanted him
to ask her, and he asked me.

I feel like princess Diana...

Would have felt

if prince Charles wasn't
the product of inbreeding.

Why are you here
right now?

Grandma had better
be dead.

Grandma's fine, sadly.

What is it that you could
possibly be doing?

I'm signing your father and myself up
as chaperones for the dance.

Well, then I'm signing up
for the army. Afghanistan.

I'm going to be
a minesweeper. Deal?

I know this is
horrible for you,

but I'm doing it anyway,

because your father and I
met at a dance,

and I want to, and I deserve
to get something I want.

But I will allow you
to give us three guidelines.

No standing near me,
no looking at me,

no dancing, period.

- Even...
- That includes the Weaver running man.

All right. Done.

Although your father
will be disappointed.

If you break
any of my rules,

I will make out
with Jeremy so hard,

so in front of you,

you won't be able to close
your eyes without picturing

some guy's hand
groping your daughter's butt.

You'll try
to think of the beach,

or something happy
so you can sleep.

But you won't be able to.

His hands.

My butt.

All night.

I think we'll all
have a great time.

Yeah. It should be good.

Bye, sunshine.

S01E13
Dream Weavers

Sync by ninh
www.addic7ed.com

- Oh.
- Man.

Now this is a suit.

The cummerbund was
the same blue as your eyes...

And my eye shadow.

Now you were saying
that high school dances

are not just about dancing?

Right. They're kind of
like a love war zone.

There's heartbreak,
pursuit, rejection...

So much rejection.

And at this dance, Marty and I
had the whole shebang.

It was a night
of drama and tears,

but in the end,
we realized...

- We were soul mates.
- How exhausting.

Why wouldn't you skip
all that first part?

Well, sometimes you
have to get it wrong

before you get it right,
you know?

Actually, we don't.

Zabvronians are
so perfectly in tune

with the universal truth
that we don't get it wrong.

When it is time for two beings
to find each other,

we are pulled onto our feet
by an intractable force

and the same thing
is happening to our mate,

wherever they may be.

Hmm. And we are pulled by this
force to a nearby holy space

which you call a love field.

Oh, no. We don't
call anything a love field.

- No?
- No.

Well, anyway,
that's how we meet,

and from that moment forward,
we are together

and in harmony for all eternity.

Well, not always
in har...

- In harmony for all eternity.
- Sorry.

Well, I wonder if
I'd like it being that easy.

The whole drama of dating,
the "will-they-won't-they?"

That's what high school dances
are all about.

Well,
that and the cool suit.

Oh, he still has his.

You wanna see it, Larry?
Come on.

I honestly just wanted
to bring your newspaper

and go ho... oh.
I always get sucked in.

Debbie Weaver,

will you tell me more about how
you met your soul mate Marty?

Let's make mimosas
and find the yearbooks, huh?

She's pretty fast and loose

- with the excuses for mimosas...
- Shh, shh, shh.

Oh. This is so great.

Greg tansey was my date.

Wait.
Marty wasn't your date?

No. We went with other people.
That's the story.

- Oh.
- So Greg picks me up

in this really cool car
he borrowed from his dad.

Totally dreamy.

He comes to the door
with the perfect corsage.

Corsage?

Oh, it's a flower
you strap to your wrist.

It's what boys
bring girls for dances.

A wrist flower?
That sounds preposterous,

- and yet now I really want one.
- Right?

Oh, I was so excited.
But then...

He stood you up.
But Marty,

who lived next door
and had much better hair,

took you anyway?

No. Greg and I
went to the dance.

But he runs off
to hang with his guy friends,

totally leaving me alone.

I was so embarrassed.

I burst into tears
and ran outside.

I know it's all
going to be fine,

but I'm still so nervous
that it won't be.

So I pulled myself together,

and I go inside to get myself
a glass of punch.

And standing
by the punch bowl is...

Greg tansey's father.
He wanted his car back.

No. Marty.

He had gone to the dance
with this trashy girl,

Lisa Biscotti.

And they were having
a horrible time, too.

So he poured me
a glass of punch,

had me laughing right away.

I thought we spoke
for five minutes.

It ended up being
almost an hour.

Time flew because you were in love.

Exactly.

So we decided to break it off
with our dates,

we met on the dance floor,

he pulled me in close,

and we danced
to "Dream Weaver."

Which is your name.

It was perfect, because
your name is in the song.

You are getting it now.

That's why I want to chaperone
this dance, you know?

Sometimes it's nice
to have a reminder

of where it all started.

I think a high school dance

sounds like the most exciting,
romantic place in the world.

Let's watch John Hughes movies
about dances

and make more mimosas.

They're mostly orange juice.

I think she has it
under control. I really do.

Husband, I want
a "will-they-won't-they."

Fine. Order one on Amazon.

- You can put it on the credit card.
- No.

I want a dramatic story
about how you won me.

The way we got together
was so easy.

So boring.

Oh, yes.
The universe drew us together

through space and time
to a perfect union.

What a snooze festival.

I want drama, pursuit.

I want you
to chase me.

- What, into the kitchen?
- Metaphorically.

You want me to metaphorically
chase you into the kitchen?

I want you to win me
after a twisty, turny story

where it seems like you won't,

filled with disappointment
and wrist flowers,

and then,
just when all is lost,

a dreamy car.

But I already won you.

- Have you?
- Have I?

Oh, that's not
how you do it.

I'm going to storm out
dramatically.

Oh, darling,
don't be ridiculous!

You're taking me to that dance!

Oh... come on, pumpkin!

Ugh. I guess this is
what I'm doing this week.

Hello. I'm Reggie.

I noticed you
don't have any friends

and might be desperate
for a date.

That's true.
I'm Giselle...

- Like the model.
- Great.

So I recently learned that the way you find
your soul mate

is to go to the dance
with the wrong person,

who you then break up with

after you find your soul mate
at the punch bowl.

So I was wondering,

would you like to be
my wrong person,

the one I will dump?

Can we still take pictures
at my parents' house?

Sure.

Okay. Awesome.

You can meet my turtle.

That's weird, but I'll
pick you up at 8:00.

Okay.

Your date has arrived.

Oh, honey,
you look beautiful.

I even pulled out
the rhinestones.

My neck will be green
by 10:00.

Oh, oh. And...

I got you a boutonniere.

You got me flowers?

I didn't realize
we were going all out.

You want me to wear the suit?
I could...

No, you look handsome.

Good, 'cause I don't think I can
hold my stomach in all night.

Come here.

Okay. This whole
touching each other thing,

this is the last of that.

- Wow.
- Oh, she's an angel.

And thus ends
our talking for the night.

Is Jeremy outside?

Bring him in here.
We wanna meet him.

- Oh, I need pictures.
- Right.

Well, then you'd better borrow
someone's hubble telescope,

because that's as close as
you're going to get to us.

- Just one.
- No.

- Just one of me and you?
- Not happening.

- Marty, Marty, take a picture.
- Almost. Almost.

- Okay.
- Now. Now. Now.

Now.

Nope. All door.

Oh, I hope she has fun.

I hope it's magical.

Well, I hope it's platonic.

And I hope
that Jeremy's a eunuch.

Are we picking them up,
or are they gonna meet us here?

What? Who them?
What are you talking about?

Guys? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

- Break it up.
- No roughhousing!

Take it to the shower
where it belongs!

Go. Go.

If the boys just wanted
to hang out with each other,

why did they
even bring us?

I have no idea.

Well, I'm so glad I came.

You know what, though, Larry?
Jackie seems a little upset.

- You should go talk to her,
- I think.

Oh, no. Don't worry.
I know my wife.

You know what we should do?

Let's go outside
where the kids smoke

and watch 'em scatter
like cockroaches.

Oh, Marty Weaver, you are fun.

- You're fun!
- Don't you start with me, big boy.

- Oh, you wanna start with me?
- Oh, you wanna start something, do you, big boy?

Yeah, I wanna start with you.
I'm gonna start with you.

Sometimes it's hard
to stay attracted to them.

So hard.

It's interesting...
mondays and wednesdays,

I do upper bod,
Tuesdays and Thursdays,

I do lower.
Fridays are cardio.

But today, I was doing squats,
when I realized...

It's Friday.

So what'd you do?

Switched to cardio.

I can't believe
that he's your date.

She's his date.

I should get your number.

I'm gonna start
texting you now.

Oh, my.

It really is
quite magical, isn't it?

It's nice.

Sometimes I light candles
and sit in my closet.

It's nice, too.

Okay.

I'm going to the punch bowl
to wait for my soul mate.

Can I stand near you?

Or would you like me
to keep my distance?

Giselle...

Keep your distance.

Oh, my God.
That was awesome.

Girls, you missed it. We chased
down these kids with a flask.

They tried to get away
by jumping over these bushes,

but they fell in face-first.

There was blood.

I love chaperoning.

Husband! I want
to be "pretty in pinked,"

and I want it now.

You're completely
dropping the ball.

Oh, I disagree.
I think I'm doing great.

You didn't even
give me a wrist flower.

Why would I kill one
of my flowers for you?

Because you are
trying to get me.

But I already have you.

Larry, you should
go after her.

Like I said, I know my wife.
Now is not the time.

Oh! Below-the-waist
touching on the dance floor!

I'll be with you in a sec.

Crazy. He's having fun.

So, think you could hang with
your date for, like, a minute?

Wait, are you...
you really mad at me?

I thought we were chaperoning.
Is this a date?

Well, yeah.

I wanted to relive
the night we fell in love.

How about I go see if
the D.J. has "Dream Weaver,"

and then you give
your old man a dance,

because I still have
some funky moves.

- Oh, you do?
- Yeah, you wanna see?

- Let's see.
- Wanna see it?

- Remember this one?
- Oh. I like it.

You like this, when I
do this with the arms?

The attitude?

Oh, my God. Stop. Stop.

- Go get me some punch.
- All right.

All right, be right back.

Hey, Reggie,
what are you doing?

Debbie Weaver told me

about how humans meet their
soul mates by the punch bowl.

So I'm here.

No, buddy, that's just how
Debbie and I got together.

That's not everybody's story.

So I am so confused.

What's my soul mate story?

Buddy, don't let the ladies
get into your head, okay?

Stories are just that...
stories.

Can I tell you a secret?

That dance
that we met at?

When I went outside
to break it off with my date,

she was very upset,
so I tried to comfort her.

And then, you know, one thing
led to another, and...

- You get what I'm saying?
- Not if there's subtext.

We made out in the library,
up against a bunch of books.

I didn't even officially
break up with her.

You know, so then when I got
back, Debbie was there,

and, you know,
"Dream Weaver,"

and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.

So you see,
no one ever really knows

how they found
their soul mate.

Or if their marriage
was based on lies!

No, no, honey,
I wasn't saying...

"Blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah"?

Ugh! Animal!

You didn't see her
standing there?

Like, while we were talk...
never saw her?

High school dances suck.

Guys suck.

Why don't they
stop doing that?

- I don't know.
- We don't do that.

Not as much, no.

Here you go, sweetheart.

That's the worst part.

Oh, God.

Hey. Why aren't you
dancing with your date...

And her turtle?

I don't really
feel like it.

So what's up with you
tonight?

You've been lurking
by the punch bowl,

and now you're sulking.

Acting a little
moody vampire-y, huh?

Just a little sad
because...

I thought tonight
would be the night when...

When I told you something.

Reggie, I've been
waiting for this.

- You have?
- Yeah.

Well, I mean, I didn't know that
aliens could swing that way,

but it's so cool
to be gay.

Alien gay.

Totally rock 'n' roll, man.

No. Amber, no.
I am not the gay.

I thought tonight would be
the night that you realized

that you'd gotten it wrong
with Jeremy the jock...

And that I'm your soul mate.

Reggie,
I think you're great,

but until tonight,
you were my only friend.

And you're probably still
my only real friend.

I just don't know if I really
see you that other way.

I'm sorry.

This is the worst thing
I've ever felt!

My stomach is burning!
My heart's aching!

I think I'm gonna die!

Oh! My son!

What do I do? Is he dying?

How do I fix it?
Does this help?

She thought I was gay.

- Well...
- Okay, I'm sorry, guys,

but there's not much you can do
to make this go away.

But the good news
is you're not dying.

It just feels like it.

How can humans stand this?

Well, often,
we eat our way through it.

Sad songs help.

And making out
with drummers.

But mostly,
you just need time.

That's the big one.

I gotta feel like this
for a long time?

Yeah. And probably
more than once.

What?!

You may think that you
totally found your soul mate.

And she doesn't feel
the same way,

but that just means
you weren't soul mates.

- Aah!
- So get back out there,

and keep looking,
'cause you will find her.

Yes. Like Debbie Weaver
will find her real soul mate.

Tonight she suffers
because she has learned

it isn't Marty, but she
will get back out there,

and she will find him,
despite her age.

No. No.
That's not it at all.

I mean, Marty may have been
a completely revolting

little monster
of a 16-year-old,

but he made me laugh
that night instead of cry.

And there have been
a million times since

where he has turned
my tears into laughter,

often via
the Weaver running man...

Which he doesn't
even know is funny.

He doesn't even know it.

He is my soul mate.

And that is
the universal truth.

Honey, stop texting him
and move on.

There are drummers
in your future. Trust me.

Wow. She knows a lot.

Yes, she does.

I think I'm gonna
go back to the dance.

Go, my son.

I'm so proud of you.

And I am going home.

Because my soul mate,

and the man
who I am destined

to spend
all of eternity with,

is a jackass.

The library, huh?

Reliving old memories?

Well, all the good
sulking spots were taken

by crying, kissing,
or puking teenagers, so...

Deb...

I'm so sorry.

Well, you should be.

Because this...
this is officially a thing.

You were a weasel,

and you will hear about it
for the rest of time.

So why are you smiling?

Because Lisa Biscotti
may have taken my story,

but tonight, we are
takin' back the library.

This was a good place to sulk.

Hi, Giselle.

I've learned something
really interesting tonight...

my turtle likes rap.

Sorry about
how I've been acting.

It's okay.
I'm a little weird.

It's okay.
I bet I'm weirder.

That's unlikely.

I'm weirder.

My closest relationship
is with a green creature

who spends most of its life
hiding in its shell.

I can relate.

So... why don't I go grab us
a couple of glasses of punch?

Make it three?

Husband.

Drama!

Happy ending!

They will.

Are you winning me?

I hope I am.

But maybe I'm too late.

No. No. You are just in time.

I was sure
that all was lost.

Well, I had to make you
feel that way

for this to be so good,
right?

It was a long con.

Whose car is this?

I have no idea. Some brat.

You happy?

It's exactly what I wanted.

Like I keep saying...

I know my wife.

Those little bastards are smoking again.

Hey! You!

Hi. Sorry.

No. I'm sorry.

Are you all right?

I'm sorry about
what I said before.

I hope it doesn't
make things weird.

No. I'm sorry.

We're cool.

It's all cool.

Great.

On the bright side,

turns out turtle girl
is actually quite interesting.

Who knows? Maybe my spot
was next to the dance floor,

not the punch bowl.

I love this song!

They used it in "true blood,"
my favorite show.

Some people think that I look
like the main vampire guy.

Do you think so?
I met him in a mall once.

We have the same jaw
and we both squint.

Other people think that I look
like if Matt Damon

and Ethan Hawke
had a baby together.

I don't know
about that, though.

My auntie June thinks that
I look like Milla Jovovich.

What's that supposed to mean?
She's a girl.

My grandpa said that
I look like Warren Beatty.

I have no idea...

Break it up.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

That's the second time!

Seriously?

Oh, shoot.

That's sad.

Leave the bra!

Oh! Okay! Go! Go!

I don't want to see the two
of you in here ever again!

Is that clear?

Crystal!

I can hear you.

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