All language subtitles for The Neighbors s01e10 Juan of the Dead.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,606 --> 00:00:04,941 (Katie Herzig) hey, na na, hey, na na 2 00:00:06,067 --> 00:00:07,401 Morning, Juan! Morning, Juan. 3 00:00:07,436 --> 00:00:08,969 hey, na na, hey, hey 4 00:00:08,987 --> 00:00:10,433 Hi, Juan! 5 00:00:10,453 --> 00:00:11,627 Hello, Juan! 6 00:00:11,647 --> 00:00:14,175 Another Saturday he returns. (grunts) 7 00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,292 (sizzling) 8 00:00:15,312 --> 00:00:16,688 Whoo, baby. 9 00:00:16,708 --> 00:00:19,697 Greetings, Juan the garden maker, 10 00:00:19,748 --> 00:00:21,637 bringer of flowers, 11 00:00:21,657 --> 00:00:24,526 - cutter of grass. - Max, your burger's ready when you are. 12 00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:27,054 Oh, no, thanks. Juan's gonna teach me how to mow! 13 00:00:27,088 --> 00:00:28,355 (laughs) He loves Juan. 14 00:00:28,390 --> 00:00:29,740 Oh, Juan's the best. 15 00:00:29,775 --> 00:00:32,417 I'm telling you, Larry, you aliens are missing out, man. 16 00:00:32,839 --> 00:00:36,046 The bacon cheeseburger is one of the finest joys of life. 17 00:00:36,081 --> 00:00:38,766 You humans are just monkeys in tennis shoes. 18 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,559 - Larry, what would happen if you ate food? - I have no idea. 19 00:00:41,579 --> 00:00:43,880 Zabvronians' bodies are extremely sensitive. 20 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,823 What are you, afraid? (scoffs) 21 00:00:46,225 --> 00:00:48,775 - You're afraid. - Oh! Marty... 22 00:00:48,794 --> 00:00:51,545 - Bok-bok-bok-bok-bok-caw! - I am a higher life form. 23 00:00:51,579 --> 00:00:55,192 - Taunts and threats have no effect on me. - (high-pitched voice) Larry's afraid. 24 00:00:55,212 --> 00:00:57,197 - Larry's a... - (scoffs) Give it here! 25 00:01:06,672 --> 00:01:08,521 No, I don't like it. 26 00:01:09,129 --> 00:01:10,246 (sighs) 27 00:01:10,954 --> 00:01:12,070 (panting) 28 00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:14,081 Great run! 29 00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:15,569 I still don't understand why we did it. 30 00:01:16,384 --> 00:01:17,513 (panting) 31 00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:18,722 To look good! 32 00:01:18,742 --> 00:01:21,869 But you look terrible, like the worst I've ever seen. 33 00:01:21,993 --> 00:01:24,118 Okay. Thanks for that. 34 00:01:24,826 --> 00:01:26,307 (chuckles) No? 35 00:01:26,327 --> 00:01:27,933 Oh... You know what? 36 00:01:27,953 --> 00:01:29,769 I think I'm gonna take a bath. 37 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,184 There's nothing like stripping down 38 00:01:31,204 --> 00:01:33,727 to what you were born with and having a good, hot soak. 39 00:01:33,747 --> 00:01:35,521 It really relaxes the muscles. 40 00:01:35,541 --> 00:01:37,673 Well, my muscles are not sore. 41 00:01:37,693 --> 00:01:40,336 Would it kill you to act like they were? 42 00:01:40,746 --> 00:01:41,662 (breathing heavily) Ouch. 43 00:01:41,696 --> 00:01:43,664 I know, right? (groans) 44 00:01:48,362 --> 00:01:51,088 Stripping down to what I was born with. 45 00:01:52,184 --> 00:01:53,701 (turns water on) 46 00:01:53,721 --> 00:01:56,140 (whistling) 47 00:01:56,327 --> 00:01:57,828 (water running) 48 00:01:57,863 --> 00:01:59,914 (electricity crackling, splash) 49 00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:02,383 (gasps) 50 00:02:03,592 --> 00:02:04,788 Wife! 51 00:02:04,808 --> 00:02:07,452 Marty Weaver made me eat a cow! 52 00:02:08,730 --> 00:02:09,566 (thud) 53 00:02:09,586 --> 00:02:11,911 Wife! I demand an audience! 54 00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:13,984 I'm upstairs, Larry Bird! 55 00:02:14,332 --> 00:02:16,280 Oh. Uh, Juan? 56 00:02:16,851 --> 00:02:18,469 When you're done lying motionless on the ground, 57 00:02:18,489 --> 00:02:20,032 perhaps you could come round the front 58 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:22,559 and water the shrubbery. It's a bit dry. 59 00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:25,406 Juan? 60 00:02:26,119 --> 00:02:28,179 S01E10 Juan of the Dead 61 00:02:28,199 --> 00:02:30,872 Sync by ninh www.addic7ed.com 62 00:02:32,969 --> 00:02:34,649 I called 9-1-1. They're on their way. 63 00:02:34,669 --> 00:02:37,454 Good. Now what the hell, guys? This is really weird! 64 00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,967 I know, right? We tried to get his attention, 65 00:02:39,987 --> 00:02:42,143 but we don't speak spanish. 66 00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:44,482 Oh, my god, don't touch the body! You never touch the body! 67 00:02:44,502 --> 00:02:46,064 Well, I think it's a little late for that. 68 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,706 Guys, Juan isn't ignoring you. 69 00:02:48,726 --> 00:02:50,513 He's... You know. 70 00:02:52,635 --> 00:02:53,168 Dead. 71 00:02:53,188 --> 00:02:54,156 - Dead? - Dead. 72 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:55,274 - Dead. - Well, make him stop. 73 00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:56,598 - We can't. - Why not? 74 00:02:56,618 --> 00:02:57,913 Okay, you know what? 75 00:02:57,933 --> 00:03:00,766 Marty, the kids could come in any second! We have a dead man on our sofa! 76 00:03:00,786 --> 00:03:02,531 He can't stay! I'm sorry, Juan. 77 00:03:02,565 --> 00:03:04,283 Oh, poor Juan. He's gotta go! 78 00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:06,285 Hold on a second, 'cause I find this fascinating. 79 00:03:06,305 --> 00:03:08,456 Do you guys not know what death is? 80 00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:10,956 Of course we do. Since taking human form, 81 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,526 - we die every night for six hours. - Preferably eight. 82 00:03:13,546 --> 00:03:15,961 And in the morning, we un-die, refreshed. 83 00:03:16,012 --> 00:03:18,430 - Sometimes I die after mating with Jackie. - I die during. 84 00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:21,540 - I see. - Sleep! You're talking about sleep! 85 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,687 This is death, the end of life! Jackie, stop touching Juan! 86 00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:27,578 Okay... Listen up, guys. 87 00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:31,023 For humans, death is it the end! 88 00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:34,597 It's like a light burning out that never comes back! 89 00:03:34,617 --> 00:03:36,397 Hey, guys. Oh, hey, Juan. 90 00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,195 Thanks for letting me ride in your cart. 91 00:03:38,215 --> 00:03:39,701 (spanish accent) No problemo! 92 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:41,286 (whispers, normal accent) oh, my god! 93 00:03:42,302 --> 00:03:44,072 Yep, I did that. 94 00:03:44,106 --> 00:03:45,574 (siren wails) 95 00:03:46,187 --> 00:03:47,874 Good-bye, Juan. 96 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,945 I don't know why we're waving. He can't see us. 97 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:53,498 Because it's sad. He was a sweet man. 98 00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:55,617 Yeah, he was. (sighs) 99 00:03:55,822 --> 00:03:57,669 (clicks tongue and sighs) 100 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,354 Guess we should go break the news to Max. 101 00:03:59,374 --> 00:04:00,021 Ugh. 102 00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:01,597 Ohh, I don't want to, either. 103 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,058 But Max loved Juan. 104 00:04:03,092 --> 00:04:04,960 You know, they spent a lot of time together. 105 00:04:04,980 --> 00:04:06,728 Juan let him help with the watering, 106 00:04:06,762 --> 00:04:09,378 pulling the weeds, emptying the mower bag. 107 00:04:09,398 --> 00:04:12,367 You ever think Juan might have been using our son for free labor? 108 00:04:12,401 --> 00:04:14,853 Marty, this is a big deal, okay? 109 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,323 I mean, Max knows about death, 110 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:19,145 but he's never had anyone close to him pass away. 111 00:04:19,165 --> 00:04:22,431 He has all of his grandparents. He's never lost a pet. 112 00:04:22,451 --> 00:04:24,145 I mean, not one that he knows of. 113 00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:27,266 Yeah, we did pull off that impressive hermit crab switcheroo. 114 00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,165 Wait a minute. Do you think that we could possibly... 115 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,852 - Marty. - Right. That's a bad idea. Yeah. 116 00:04:30,887 --> 00:04:32,471 Okay, we can do this, you know? 117 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,189 We'll just sit him down, have a conversation like we did 118 00:04:34,223 --> 00:04:35,857 with Jackie Joyner-Kersee and Larry Bird. 119 00:04:35,892 --> 00:04:37,867 - That went well, right? - Yeah. 120 00:04:38,214 --> 00:04:39,877 (screaming) 121 00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:43,129 (screaming and sobbing) 122 00:04:45,102 --> 00:04:47,211 (sobbing) 123 00:04:48,179 --> 00:04:49,847 (shouts indistinctly) 124 00:04:49,867 --> 00:04:51,273 (gasps) 125 00:04:51,652 --> 00:04:52,880 Ah, there you are. 126 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:55,151 Larry, what the hell is going on? 127 00:04:55,424 --> 00:04:57,923 Oh, I explained death to the community, 128 00:04:57,943 --> 00:04:59,934 and they asked specifically when it happens, 129 00:04:59,954 --> 00:05:02,480 and I had to confess that I did not know, 130 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,118 and it caused a bit of a panic. 131 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:05,955 Maybe you can clear things up? 132 00:05:05,975 --> 00:05:07,407 Well, actually, we need to talk to Max. 133 00:05:07,427 --> 00:05:10,038 Excellent. Community!(whistles) 134 00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:12,155 Your attention! (sobbing continues) 135 00:05:12,175 --> 00:05:15,531 Marty Weaver will now explain how death comes... 136 00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:17,194 At a prearranged moment, 137 00:05:17,214 --> 00:05:19,514 when you're physically and mentally prepared, 138 00:05:19,534 --> 00:05:23,287 and it's always reasonable, fair, and painless. 139 00:05:23,771 --> 00:05:24,887 Marty. 140 00:05:26,116 --> 00:05:27,660 (sighs) Okay, here's the thing. 141 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,943 It's doesn't come at a prearranged moment, okay? 142 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:34,149 And you're never prepared, and it is never painless. 143 00:05:34,183 --> 00:05:35,821 (Zabvronians gasp) 144 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,841 Maybe you could answer some questions.(gasping) 145 00:05:38,861 --> 00:05:40,020 (Marty) Yeah, okay, fine. 146 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,308 But just a couple. Uh, you, the indian one? 147 00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:44,855 Are we going to die? 148 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:47,610 I don't know. The third from left, the pants too high? 149 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:50,775 How do you go on, Knowing you're going to die? What's the point? 150 00:05:50,795 --> 00:05:54,777 (sighs) The point is to enjoy life while you can and not think about when it's going to end. 151 00:05:54,797 --> 00:05:56,646 It's called denial. 152 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,756 You... up front, little man-woman? 153 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,481 What is this denial? 154 00:06:00,501 --> 00:06:01,982 Well, it's keeping yourself busy, 155 00:06:02,002 --> 00:06:05,234 distractions... you know, food, shopping, alcohol, 156 00:06:05,254 --> 00:06:06,624 So you don't have to think about things. 157 00:06:06,644 --> 00:06:08,319 Yeah, yeah, take me, for instance, okay? 158 00:06:08,339 --> 00:06:10,071 Over half my family had heart attacks. 159 00:06:10,091 --> 00:06:13,037 - Does that ever cross my mind? - Not once! (laughs) 160 00:06:13,057 --> 00:06:17,546 Instead, he plays computer poker and eats cheeseburgers with reckless abandon. 161 00:06:17,566 --> 00:06:18,737 Yeah, my heart's so bad, 162 00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:21,393 - it practically whistles when it beats. - It does? 163 00:06:21,413 --> 00:06:22,924 (lowered voice) Well, I just want to put their mind at ease. 164 00:06:22,944 --> 00:06:24,190 - So just go with me. - Oh. Okay. 165 00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:26,982 (normal voice) I mean, honestly, if I keep stuffing my face like this, 166 00:06:27,002 --> 00:06:29,563 it'll be a miracle if I'm even around in five years. 167 00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:32,452 Look, basically, I'm a dead man walking, 168 00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:33,904 and I'm okay with it. 169 00:06:33,924 --> 00:06:35,517 And he's okay with it. 170 00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:38,954 - I'm gonna die. (pops) Big whoop. - Big whoop. 171 00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:40,282 You're gonna die?! 172 00:06:40,302 --> 00:06:43,958 Oh, Max, we were going to talk to you about this. 173 00:06:43,978 --> 00:06:45,889 (Marty grunts) Not about daddy, about Juan. 174 00:06:45,909 --> 00:06:47,912 (voice breaking) There's something wrong with Juan? 175 00:06:47,932 --> 00:06:49,578 Well, um... 176 00:06:50,307 --> 00:06:51,630 Oh, my gosh! (screaming) 177 00:06:51,664 --> 00:06:53,114 - Max! - Oh! 178 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,814 I can't believe Juan died. 179 00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:04,545 I don't want daddy to die, too. 180 00:07:04,565 --> 00:07:06,272 Honey, that is not going to happen. 181 00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:09,327 Yeah, I only said I had a whistling heart to make the aliens feel better. 182 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,445 But Juan died. 183 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,892 That's true, but Juan was very old. 184 00:07:13,078 --> 00:07:14,817 He was... 185 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,522 - Debbie, how old was he? - 45. 186 00:07:16,542 --> 00:07:18,396 45?! Oh, my god, 187 00:07:18,416 --> 00:07:20,133 He spent a lot of time in the sun. 188 00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:21,540 Only old people die? 189 00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:23,075 - No. - Yes. 190 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,143 - Yes. - No. 191 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,179 But if you guys die, 192 00:07:27,199 --> 00:07:28,470 I'll be all alone. 193 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,530 Hey, what if I promised you 194 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,763 that we all die at exactly the same time? 195 00:07:32,783 --> 00:07:34,811 Would that make you feel better, sport? 196 00:07:34,831 --> 00:07:35,912 Are you nuts? 197 00:07:35,932 --> 00:07:37,589 How would that make me feel better? 198 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,441 Did you just promise our son a murder/suicide pact? 199 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,819 I'm regretting the choice. 200 00:07:41,839 --> 00:07:42,811 (doorbell rings) (sighs) 201 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:46,120 Honey, you don't have to worry about any of this. 202 00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:48,155 Nobody's going to die. 203 00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:50,024 You're all going to die. 204 00:07:51,442 --> 00:07:53,505 (door closes) What the hell was that? We got a freaked-out kid in there. 205 00:07:53,523 --> 00:07:54,890 So sorry to bother you, 206 00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,733 but we've come to terms with your eventual demise, 207 00:07:56,753 --> 00:07:58,885 and we are here to say farewell. 208 00:07:58,905 --> 00:08:01,330 Appreciate that, Jackie, But you're being a little ridiculous. 209 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,770 We are being ridiculous? 210 00:08:02,790 --> 00:08:05,048 You're the ones that are so accepting of death! 211 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,188 Fight it! Solve the problem! 212 00:08:08,436 --> 00:08:10,881 I've been a problem solver my entire life. 213 00:08:10,901 --> 00:08:14,641 I'm great at checkers. I own tetris. It's simple math. 214 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,015 You're capable of being alive. You die. 215 00:08:17,035 --> 00:08:19,420 You should be capable of being alive again. 216 00:08:19,454 --> 00:08:21,314 It's not a solvable problem. 217 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,441 The fact is that we were all rather taken by surprise 218 00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:27,122 by Juan's passing. (chuckles) 219 00:08:27,142 --> 00:08:28,429 We don't want that to happen again, 220 00:08:28,449 --> 00:08:30,430 so we must protect ourselves from future hurt. 221 00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:33,063 So we're thinking of becoming friends with things that don't die, 222 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:34,671 Like goldfish or dogs. 223 00:08:34,691 --> 00:08:38,089 Did you guys do any research before you came to this planet? 224 00:08:38,109 --> 00:08:41,342 - I'm just wondering. - You know what? I got an idea. 225 00:08:41,362 --> 00:08:43,986 Marty, do you know where they're having Juan's funeral? 226 00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:47,783 Yes, because I have a direct feed of all funeral information that goes right into my head. 227 00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:50,244 Ah! Okay, you know what, heart whistle? 228 00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:52,577 Let's lose the smart-ass remarks, okay? 229 00:08:52,597 --> 00:08:54,048 It'll be a good thing. 230 00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:56,754 They need to process what has happened. 231 00:08:57,064 --> 00:08:59,000 And they're not the only ones. 232 00:08:59,658 --> 00:09:00,994 Tell me something... 233 00:09:01,511 --> 00:09:03,931 How do you know about tetris, but you don't know about death? 234 00:09:03,951 --> 00:09:06,765 (bell tolls) All right, now before we go in, 235 00:09:06,785 --> 00:09:09,061 remember, this is a somber event, okay? 236 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,447 - So a few ground rules... - A question! 237 00:09:12,154 --> 00:09:13,524 Why are we dressed like this? 238 00:09:13,544 --> 00:09:15,398 I don't know. I specifically told larry 239 00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:17,503 not to dress that way. He insisted. 240 00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,059 I was told this was a celebration of Juan's life. 241 00:09:20,221 --> 00:09:22,763 We Zabvronians always dress appropriately for a celebration. 242 00:09:22,783 --> 00:09:24,376 Okay, well, yeah, my bad. 243 00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:27,255 I did use the term "celebration of life." 244 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,241 I did not mean a luau. 245 00:09:29,261 --> 00:09:30,755 Well, I fell silly. 246 00:09:30,775 --> 00:09:32,673 But okay, you know, it shows that you care, 247 00:09:32,693 --> 00:09:34,844 and that's what this is about... 248 00:09:34,864 --> 00:09:36,780 Giving the people who knew Juan 249 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,379 an opportunity to express how important he was to them, 250 00:09:40,399 --> 00:09:43,556 and then letting those people know that even though Juan is gone, 251 00:09:43,576 --> 00:09:46,646 he will live in their hearts forever. 252 00:09:46,666 --> 00:09:49,112 (organ music playing) 253 00:09:50,204 --> 00:09:54,378 So where are all these people In whose hearts Juan will live forever? 254 00:09:54,398 --> 00:09:55,715 Excuse me. 255 00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:57,958 Do we have the wrong time? Where is everyone? 256 00:09:57,978 --> 00:10:00,602 Mr. Salgado's wife passed several years ago, 257 00:10:00,622 --> 00:10:03,862 and his only family is a cousin who lives in new brunswick 258 00:10:03,882 --> 00:10:05,612 But couldn't make the trip. 259 00:10:05,632 --> 00:10:06,741 New Brunswick? 260 00:10:06,761 --> 00:10:09,032 That's, like, an hour away. 261 00:10:09,653 --> 00:10:11,613 They weren't close. 262 00:10:15,069 --> 00:10:18,821 Juan's death reminds us how short life is. 263 00:10:18,839 --> 00:10:22,423 But it also reminds us how precious every moment can be... 264 00:10:22,443 --> 00:10:23,863 So tell me about the wooden boat. 265 00:10:23,883 --> 00:10:25,111 Shh. 266 00:10:25,145 --> 00:10:29,720 (whispering) It's not a boat. It's a coffin. It's where Juan's body is buried. 267 00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:34,203 (lowered voice) And is part of the ceremony taking the boat to a lake to sail it about? 268 00:10:34,238 --> 00:10:35,745 Again, not a boat. 269 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,773 (lowered voice) It actually gets buried in the ground. 270 00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:39,642 So you bury the people you love, 271 00:10:39,662 --> 00:10:42,625 but a moose you just met you stuff and mount on a wall? 272 00:10:42,645 --> 00:10:43,832 He makes a good point. 273 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,872 This is a good time for anyone who knew Juan 274 00:10:46,892 --> 00:10:48,895 to share some words. 275 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,012 (normal voice) I'd like to say something. 276 00:10:54,692 --> 00:10:56,326 (exhales) 277 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,028 Juan was important to us. 278 00:10:59,329 --> 00:11:03,151 Although we did not know him for a long time, 279 00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:06,302 he kept our gardens beautiful, 280 00:11:06,581 --> 00:11:10,986 and he was sweet to us, and we will miss him. 281 00:11:11,507 --> 00:11:15,171 Juan was one of the first people we met when we moved here. 282 00:11:15,506 --> 00:11:17,664 At first we thought he was attached to his machine, 283 00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:19,832 sort of a half-man, half-mower. 284 00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:21,952 (laughter) 285 00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:24,459 He once ran over my foot. 286 00:11:25,538 --> 00:11:26,536 Oh, yeah. (laughs) It hurt! 287 00:11:26,556 --> 00:11:28,554 (laughter) 288 00:11:29,472 --> 00:11:33,281 I'm sorry, guys. I just feel that the energy expended here will be better spent 289 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,162 trying to solve this death thing. 290 00:11:35,182 --> 00:11:38,284 This is for you, Juan. (sizzling) 291 00:11:38,318 --> 00:11:40,460 It can't be harder than tetris level seven. 292 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,838 Are you kidding me? 293 00:11:41,858 --> 00:11:44,377 (amplified voice) What is it with airplane food? 294 00:11:45,369 --> 00:11:46,943 Aren't forks weird? 295 00:11:46,977 --> 00:11:50,182 Juan was like the father I never had. 296 00:11:50,202 --> 00:11:51,381 - What? - Oh. 297 00:11:51,401 --> 00:11:54,517 Let us sing to him the song we all know. 298 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,255 I've been working on the railroad 299 00:11:59,273 --> 00:12:02,442 all the live-long day 300 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,436 (all) I've been working on the railroad 301 00:12:06,456 --> 00:12:10,366 just to pass the time away 302 00:12:10,401 --> 00:12:11,964 (singing fades) 303 00:12:11,984 --> 00:12:13,703 (sighs) If you're sad, Max, it's okay. 304 00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:14,937 Men can cry. 305 00:12:14,955 --> 00:12:17,243 You've seen daddy watch the mets. 306 00:12:17,263 --> 00:12:18,521 Thank you, Debbie Weaver. 307 00:12:18,541 --> 00:12:20,609 You were right. We do feel better. 308 00:12:20,933 --> 00:12:21,781 Oh. 309 00:12:21,801 --> 00:12:23,792 - How about you, buddy? You feel better? - Yeah. 310 00:12:23,812 --> 00:12:27,237 I mean, it's sad, but as long as I can remember him, 311 00:12:27,257 --> 00:12:29,525 maybe it's okay I won't get to see him again. 312 00:12:29,545 --> 00:12:31,275 (Larry Bird) Good news, everyone. 313 00:12:31,821 --> 00:12:34,891 I figured out how to beat death. 314 00:12:35,432 --> 00:12:37,530 Juan has returned. 315 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,138 He bought our gardener back from the dead. 316 00:12:51,158 --> 00:12:52,520 Yes, I did. 317 00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:53,811 I don't understand. 318 00:12:53,831 --> 00:12:57,608 All you need to know is, Larry Bird 1, death 0. 319 00:12:57,628 --> 00:13:00,606 I know I complain a lot about living in this cul-du-wack, 320 00:13:00,626 --> 00:13:02,914 but this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. 321 00:13:02,934 --> 00:13:04,961 Is Juan dead or alive? 322 00:13:04,981 --> 00:13:06,270 - Dead. - Alive. 323 00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:07,374 - Dead. - Alive. 324 00:13:07,394 --> 00:13:09,496 Husband, I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. 325 00:13:09,516 --> 00:13:12,959 Maybe it's just me, but Juan seems a little bit... 326 00:13:13,803 --> 00:13:14,602 Different. 327 00:13:14,636 --> 00:13:16,808 (sputtering and whirring) 328 00:13:17,391 --> 00:13:19,469 No, no, he's as good as new. 329 00:13:19,489 --> 00:13:21,609 Really? Is that what you think? 330 00:13:21,871 --> 00:13:24,443 (whirring continues) 331 00:13:24,463 --> 00:13:26,564 What's our policy on facebooking this? 332 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,149 Hey, what's everyone looking at? 333 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,067 - A ladybug! - Can I see? 334 00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,742 No! Flew away! 335 00:13:31,762 --> 00:13:33,788 Amber, I know you want to play dollies with Abby, 336 00:13:33,822 --> 00:13:35,708 your mother says, not asking, but commanding. 337 00:13:35,728 --> 00:13:38,793 Ah, yes. Why bear witness to a resurrection 338 00:13:38,827 --> 00:13:41,729 when there are dolls to be played with? 339 00:13:42,553 --> 00:13:44,543 Larry, what the hell did you do to him? 340 00:13:44,563 --> 00:13:46,384 What does it matter? He's back. 341 00:13:46,435 --> 00:13:48,627 I thought when someone died, you never saw them again. 342 00:13:48,647 --> 00:13:50,339 - Hold on a second, Max. - I'm confused. 343 00:13:50,359 --> 00:13:52,250 Honey, mommy and daddy are trying to fix something. 344 00:13:52,270 --> 00:13:53,677 - Fixed it! - Somebody answer me! 345 00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:55,348 This is not natural, Larry. 346 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,214 Well, neither is most of the food that you eat, 347 00:13:57,234 --> 00:13:59,451 - but you seem to enjoy that. - (whirring stops) He's got a point. 348 00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:02,049 - Don't bring my food into this! - You eat like an animal. 349 00:14:02,069 --> 00:14:03,489 Hey, Juan. 350 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,635 I'm confused about a bunch of things. 351 00:14:05,655 --> 00:14:07,981 Will you answer some questions? 352 00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:11,115 Are you dead? Did you meet god? 353 00:14:11,537 --> 00:14:13,093 Did you go to heaven? 354 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:15,314 Did it hurt? Was it dark? 355 00:14:15,334 --> 00:14:16,977 Did you see my hermit crab? 356 00:14:16,997 --> 00:14:18,888 My parents say it's the same one, 357 00:14:18,908 --> 00:14:20,653 but I'm suspicious. 358 00:14:21,187 --> 00:14:22,767 (lawn mower whirring) Does everyone die? 359 00:14:22,787 --> 00:14:25,299 Does no one die? You died. 360 00:14:25,319 --> 00:14:27,553 Is my dad going to die? 361 00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:31,670 Okay, Larry, I know tempers are high, 362 00:14:31,690 --> 00:14:34,097 but it is not appropriate to call my husband a poopy-head. 363 00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:35,516 - Well, he is. - I am not. 364 00:14:35,536 --> 00:14:38,408 - Are, too. - Larry, you have to put Juan back the way he was. 365 00:14:38,428 --> 00:14:40,153 Look, I have solved the problem of death. 366 00:14:40,173 --> 00:14:42,796 - Accept it as a gift. - Larry Bird, you need to tell them the truth. 367 00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:44,943 - What is the truth? - That your husband is a poopy-head. 368 00:14:44,963 --> 00:14:46,973 Larry Herbert Walker Bird! 369 00:14:48,473 --> 00:14:50,565 He hasn't solved anything. He doesn't even know how he did it. 370 00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,660 I do know how I did it! 371 00:14:52,898 --> 00:14:54,814 I just can't do it again. (Jackie Joyner-Kersee sighs) 372 00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:57,254 Larry, what are you talking about? 373 00:14:58,085 --> 00:15:01,686 Before I came to this planet, my father gave me one vial of medicine, 374 00:15:01,737 --> 00:15:04,989 and he told me, should the worst happen, only then should I use it. 375 00:15:05,009 --> 00:15:08,242 And I didn't know what he was talking about until Juan died. 376 00:15:09,498 --> 00:15:12,862 Larry, you only had one, and you used it on Juan? 377 00:15:12,882 --> 00:15:16,150 - You used it on Juan? - It just happened! 378 00:15:16,781 --> 00:15:20,086 I was... (sighs) standing next to Juan's coffin boat... 379 00:15:20,106 --> 00:15:21,755 - Again, not a boat. - Not the time. 380 00:15:21,773 --> 00:15:25,109 And this indescribable wave of emotion came over me, and... 381 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,958 Oh, Larry, it's called sadness. 382 00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:29,701 It's natural. 383 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,616 - Just what came after was not. - No, I didn't feel sad. 384 00:15:33,051 --> 00:15:34,735 I felt powerless. 385 00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:36,654 Yes. 386 00:15:37,109 --> 00:15:40,323 I, the great Larry Bird, 387 00:15:40,919 --> 00:15:42,214 powerless. 388 00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:43,909 (breathes deeply) 389 00:15:45,858 --> 00:15:47,116 Really? Nothing? 390 00:15:47,136 --> 00:15:49,392 - Powerless, yeah. - Shocking. I can't believe it. Wow. 391 00:15:49,412 --> 00:15:50,801 The thing is, 392 00:15:51,273 --> 00:15:54,834 my husband and I still don't quite understand how these bodies work. 393 00:15:55,095 --> 00:15:57,755 Since taking human form, we now sleep. 394 00:15:57,775 --> 00:16:00,513 What if we now also... die? 395 00:16:00,923 --> 00:16:02,069 Oh. 396 00:16:02,089 --> 00:16:03,273 Okay. Mm. 397 00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:06,326 Excuse me. Young Max Weaver is sitting on your roof. 398 00:16:06,346 --> 00:16:08,063 What? 399 00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:09,535 (door opens) 400 00:16:11,474 --> 00:16:13,303 Max, what are you doing up there?! 401 00:16:13,323 --> 00:16:15,127 Nobody will talk to me. 402 00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:19,259 I'm confused. I have questions. And I'm 8. 403 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,536 I want to talk to mommy now. 404 00:16:21,556 --> 00:16:23,902 (Debbie) All right, Max, mommy's coming. 405 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:25,836 (crickets chirping) 406 00:16:28,716 --> 00:16:31,325 Hey. You guys okay? You've been out here a long time. 407 00:16:32,554 --> 00:16:34,021 Max and I have been hanging. 408 00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:34,990 Uh-huh. 409 00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:38,434 Talking about how all this has been confusing and how... 410 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:41,128 death is confusing. 411 00:16:41,146 --> 00:16:42,757 But he's calmer now. 412 00:16:42,777 --> 00:16:45,616 And I told him that tonight he can ask us 413 00:16:45,651 --> 00:16:48,052 anything he wants to about all of this, 414 00:16:48,087 --> 00:16:50,838 and that we would try to answer truthfully, even if it's sad. 415 00:16:50,856 --> 00:16:53,059 Yeah? That make you feel better, kiddo? 416 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,031 Yeah. 417 00:16:54,051 --> 00:16:56,017 Okay, so why don't you head on inside, 418 00:16:56,037 --> 00:16:57,412 you get ready for bed, 419 00:16:57,446 --> 00:17:01,447 and then we'll come in and we'll have a nice, long conversation about death, 420 00:17:01,757 --> 00:17:03,735 and then it's off to dream land. 421 00:17:03,755 --> 00:17:05,240 Hmm. (kisses) 422 00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:07,565 - See you in there, buddy. - Just be careful. Okay. 423 00:17:07,585 --> 00:17:10,608 All right. Ready? On 3. 1, 2, 3! 424 00:17:10,659 --> 00:17:12,446 Oopsie-daisy! 425 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,546 Oy. 426 00:17:17,222 --> 00:17:18,563 You okay? 427 00:17:20,362 --> 00:17:22,911 Marty, I don't like that you eat cheeseburgers every day, 428 00:17:22,931 --> 00:17:25,914 and that you make jokes about your whistling heart. 429 00:17:25,934 --> 00:17:27,108 I don't want you to end up like Juan 430 00:17:27,126 --> 00:17:30,111 before Larry got to him... or after, for that matter. 431 00:17:30,577 --> 00:17:33,631 All right, listen to me, okay? (sighs) 432 00:17:34,089 --> 00:17:36,768 There's something that you need to know. 433 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,186 I'm not going anywhere. 434 00:17:40,464 --> 00:17:44,105 It would take a team of navy S.E.A.L.S. 435 00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:46,061 with a team of real seals 436 00:17:46,081 --> 00:17:48,541 to drag me away from you and the kids. 437 00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:49,806 Okay? 438 00:17:49,826 --> 00:17:53,380 Okay. But promise me you'll try to eat a salad every once in a while, 439 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,589 and maybe you'll jog with me. 440 00:17:55,609 --> 00:17:57,564 I cross my whistling heart. (groans) 441 00:17:57,584 --> 00:17:59,463 Okay, that's not even funny. I'gonna m op saying that. 442 00:17:59,483 --> 00:18:01,386 Last time. Okay. (kisses) 443 00:18:01,406 --> 00:18:06,412 (man) Sit in the dark and tell me your secrets 444 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,619 It starts in my head, always teasing 445 00:18:12,129 --> 00:18:17,658 Turn the key and lock the cellar door 446 00:18:18,756 --> 00:18:19,210 You okay? 447 00:18:20,328 --> 00:18:23,834 You've been out here ever since you put Juan in the shed for the night. 448 00:18:24,206 --> 00:18:25,749 (inhales) I'm fine. 449 00:18:26,304 --> 00:18:27,840 Okay. 450 00:18:29,478 --> 00:18:31,338 (sighs) You know, I get you. 451 00:18:31,373 --> 00:18:35,999 I mean, sometimes the best thing you can do after a crazy day like this 452 00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:38,762 is just sit on the curb 453 00:18:38,797 --> 00:18:40,553 and let the night wash over you. 454 00:18:40,573 --> 00:18:43,444 Marty, I don't know if you... (sighs) 455 00:18:43,742 --> 00:18:45,152 It's just... 456 00:18:45,673 --> 00:18:48,800 I've always been able to solve any problem. 457 00:18:49,011 --> 00:18:51,275 And we were prepared for some uncertainty 458 00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:53,193 when we came to this planet. 459 00:18:53,317 --> 00:18:56,207 And my children really don't know this world. 460 00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:58,093 And... 461 00:18:58,353 --> 00:19:01,168 if anything should happen 462 00:19:01,219 --> 00:19:03,019 to Jackie and me... 463 00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:06,137 Not that it can or will, but as a father, it... 464 00:19:06,157 --> 00:19:07,911 Hey. Hey. 465 00:19:08,510 --> 00:19:11,145 Your children will be taken care of. 466 00:19:11,559 --> 00:19:12,730 Okay? 467 00:19:15,605 --> 00:19:17,134 Thank you. 468 00:19:17,152 --> 00:19:18,936 469 00:19:19,335 --> 00:19:21,048 (sighs) 470 00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:22,475 You should probably know that 471 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,312 if anything happens to you and Debbie, Jackie and I... 472 00:19:24,332 --> 00:19:26,277 My sister's on it. 473 00:19:26,311 --> 00:19:28,062 So it's okay. 474 00:19:28,096 --> 00:19:30,781 But thank you. Thanks. 475 00:19:30,815 --> 00:19:32,924 tell me your story? 476 00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:42,581 Okeydokey, it's time. 477 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:46,421 So, uh, hey, buddy. It's time. 478 00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,371 Huh? Off to New Brunswick. 479 00:19:49,954 --> 00:19:53,305 I think your cousin's gonna be pretty surprised to see you. 480 00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:55,482 You got enough, uh, cash to last? 481 00:19:55,502 --> 00:19:58,008 I know that Larry was very generous. 482 00:19:58,028 --> 00:19:59,715 (brakes hiss and squeak) 483 00:20:00,138 --> 00:20:02,852 Okay. Here you go. (sighs) 484 00:20:03,749 --> 00:20:04,720 Ahh. 485 00:20:05,077 --> 00:20:10,157 I envy you the adventure that awaits you, 486 00:20:10,177 --> 00:20:11,529 Juan Salgado. 487 00:20:11,549 --> 00:20:13,966 Be good. Enjoy the world. 488 00:20:13,986 --> 00:20:17,599 Remember, I was only able to do this once. 489 00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:19,695 Earn it. 490 00:20:20,936 --> 00:20:22,405 All right. Okay. All right. 491 00:20:22,425 --> 00:20:25,274 Let him go now. He's gotta go. Okay. 492 00:20:28,062 --> 00:20:29,462 (doors hiss) 493 00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:30,963 (doors close) 494 00:20:34,516 --> 00:20:36,713 Marty, about the guardianship of your children... 495 00:20:36,733 --> 00:20:38,058 How many people are ahead of us? 496 00:20:38,078 --> 00:20:40,112 Pretty much everyone we know would have to die. 497 00:20:40,132 --> 00:20:42,577 Oh, so we have a chance? 498 00:20:43,123 --> 00:20:45,716 www.addic7ed.com 499 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:50,316 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37011

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