All language subtitles for Teachers s03e05 Gender Bender.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,383 --> 00:00:03,918 [HEART BEATING] 2 00:00:03,983 --> 00:00:05,553 There's the little peanut pie. 3 00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:08,062 I can't believe that thing's inside of me. 4 00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,709 I feel like that guy in "Alien." 5 00:00:10,776 --> 00:00:13,446 [IMITATES BURSTING SOUNDS] 6 00:00:13,695 --> 00:00:15,937 Never seen it. I don't care for Sigourney Weaver. 7 00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:18,450 Oh, and there's her little heart beating. 8 00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:19,818 Her? 9 00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:22,898 Oh! You wanted the gender to be a surprise. 10 00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:25,195 Well, surprise! Ha, it's a girl. 11 00:00:25,220 --> 00:00:27,445 No, I need to have a boy. 12 00:00:27,626 --> 00:00:30,093 Are you sure? I mean, what's that? 13 00:00:30,218 --> 00:00:31,830 That looks like a penis, right? 14 00:00:31,934 --> 00:00:33,302 That's her finger, 15 00:00:33,565 --> 00:00:35,702 - and there are ten of them... - [SIGHS] 16 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,905 So thank God they aren't penises, right? [LAUGHS] 17 00:00:38,971 --> 00:00:41,740 I mean, you would still love her, of course. 18 00:00:42,874 --> 00:00:45,677 Hey, why don't we take your mind off this 19 00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:48,047 and swab your vagina for strep? 20 00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,049 You can get strep in your vagina? 21 00:00:50,115 --> 00:00:52,875 Oh, yeah. It's the throat of the thighs. 22 00:00:54,195 --> 00:00:59,164 synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com* 23 00:01:00,781 --> 00:01:03,027 Step right up, my little honor roll astronauts. 24 00:01:03,095 --> 00:01:06,265 Our space bus is about to blast off 25 00:01:06,331 --> 00:01:08,533 to the magical planet of Arium. 26 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:10,670 The "planet-arium." 27 00:01:10,735 --> 00:01:12,437 Planetarium. [LAUGHS] 28 00:01:12,504 --> 00:01:14,372 Don't you just love field trips? 29 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,075 They make me feel like a kid again. 30 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,422 No, they suck. The kids go insane. 31 00:01:18,488 --> 00:01:20,189 It's like a prison break, but instead of shivs, 32 00:01:20,256 --> 00:01:22,437 they have fidget spinners. Do we have everyone? 33 00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:24,437 Everyone but Nancy Sullivan. 34 00:01:24,462 --> 00:01:26,429 Has anyone seen Nancy Sullivan? 35 00:01:26,590 --> 00:01:28,092 Nancy? 36 00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:30,201 Oh, well, we gave it our best shot. Let's go. 37 00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:33,003 Chelsea, we can't leave when a student's gone missing. 38 00:01:33,070 --> 00:01:35,273 - We're chaperones. - So? 39 00:01:35,672 --> 00:01:38,546 Okay. I'll go find Nancy. 40 00:01:38,571 --> 00:01:39,851 No, I'll go. 41 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,788 I don't wanna be on the bus any longer than I have to. 42 00:01:41,813 --> 00:01:42,948 It already smells like hot bologna 43 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:43,849 and milk farts in there. 44 00:01:43,915 --> 00:01:45,216 Dibs on going with Chelsea! 45 00:01:45,283 --> 00:01:47,953 Ooh, better luck next time, Caroline. 46 00:01:48,019 --> 00:01:49,154 You gotta be quick. 47 00:01:49,221 --> 00:01:51,515 Yeah... you win. 48 00:01:51,989 --> 00:01:53,390 ? ? 49 00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:58,015 Jordan, let me see those animal crackers. 50 00:01:59,542 --> 00:02:01,511 Oh, yeah, these are expired. 51 00:02:01,536 --> 00:02:03,781 You don't wanna eat 'em. I'll throw them away for you. 52 00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:08,475 Baby's making you hungry, huh? 53 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,341 Baby's making me depressed. 54 00:02:10,570 --> 00:02:12,139 I just found out I'm having a girl. 55 00:02:12,164 --> 00:02:15,435 [GASPS] Oh, my Gaia! That's wonderful. 56 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:17,582 - Congratulations. - No, it isn't. 57 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,839 Having a girl terrifies me, 58 00:02:19,905 --> 00:02:21,507 and I've had a Willem Dafoe sex dream. 59 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,577 Why is having a girl scarier than having a boy? 60 00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:26,945 I don't know how to relate to girls. 61 00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:28,682 You know you are one, right? 62 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,717 Yeah, but I'm not your typical girl. 63 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:32,419 They're high-maintenance and emotional, 64 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,321 and I hate princesses and pink and girly garbage. 65 00:02:35,387 --> 00:02:37,824 Deb, do you even realize how sexist you sound? 66 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,625 Not all girls are like that. 67 00:02:39,691 --> 00:02:40,812 [GIRLS GIGGLING IN BACK] 68 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,890 I get Cody Simpson, 69 00:02:41,915 --> 00:02:43,656 and you have to take Harry Styles. 70 00:02:43,937 --> 00:02:46,289 No, no, other way around. 71 00:02:46,469 --> 00:02:48,370 You were saying? 72 00:02:48,437 --> 00:02:49,871 You know what? 73 00:02:49,939 --> 00:02:51,375 Today we're sitting with the girls. 74 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,531 What... no, no! 75 00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:54,796 It's like "My Little Pony" banged a Bratz doll back there. 76 00:02:54,876 --> 00:02:56,577 - [GIRLS GIGGLING] - Hey, gals. 77 00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:58,429 ALL: Hi, Ms. Cannon. 78 00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:00,284 Hi. 79 00:03:00,309 --> 00:03:01,757 [SLOW ROCK MUSIC] 80 00:03:03,418 --> 00:03:05,287 - Nancy? - Nancy? 81 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,857 Isn't Nancy a weird name for a kid? 82 00:03:07,923 --> 00:03:09,157 I feel like if you're named Nancy, 83 00:03:09,225 --> 00:03:11,126 you automatically have two kids and a FUPA. 84 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:14,562 [CHUCKLES] Yeah, and you call boxed wine your "sassy juice." 85 00:03:14,630 --> 00:03:16,332 BOTH: Nancy? 86 00:03:16,399 --> 00:03:20,269 Ugh, trying to find a missing child is so hard. 87 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,504 I'm, like, starving. 88 00:03:21,571 --> 00:03:23,239 Oh, let's swoop by the teachers' lounge. 89 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,873 I have my ten hardboiled eggs in there for the week. 90 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:26,208 You can have them all. 91 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,209 Ew, I haven't eaten yolk since the '90s. 92 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,845 If we're gonna find this girl, we need to carb up. 93 00:03:29,911 --> 00:03:31,346 I'll have Meal Chauffeur deliver us 94 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,687 something from Le Kru'ton. What's Le Kru'ton? 95 00:03:33,757 --> 00:03:35,684 Only the most popular new salad place 96 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,052 in the Chicagoland area. 97 00:03:37,119 --> 00:03:38,986 They're like the Baskin Robbins of croutons, 98 00:03:39,054 --> 00:03:41,703 except they have 72 flavors instead of 31. 99 00:03:42,357 --> 00:03:43,490 And they're croutons. 100 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:44,757 - Oh. - What do you want? 101 00:03:44,782 --> 00:03:46,118 I'll have whatever you're having. 102 00:03:46,462 --> 00:03:48,609 Two Create Your Own Kru'ton Combos coming up. 103 00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:51,238 - Nancy? - Can you not? 104 00:03:51,601 --> 00:03:53,554 I'm trying to place an order here. 105 00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,366 There, done. 106 00:03:56,456 --> 00:03:58,524 Karen will be here in 30 minutes. 107 00:03:58,568 --> 00:04:00,137 Delivery woman? 108 00:04:00,233 --> 00:04:02,389 Damn, Karen. Resist. 109 00:04:02,678 --> 00:04:03,921 [ROCK MUSIC] 110 00:04:04,814 --> 00:04:06,215 Okay, everybody, 111 00:04:06,281 --> 00:04:08,016 while we're waiting for Nancy, 112 00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:10,486 why don't we all enjoy a healthy snack? 113 00:04:10,945 --> 00:04:13,789 You know what they say, an apple a day... 114 00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:15,781 Phil? 115 00:04:16,992 --> 00:04:19,894 Ugh. God, Phil, throw me a bone here. 116 00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:21,363 All aboard! 117 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:24,600 The Braid Train is leaving Hair Station. 118 00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:27,469 Next stop, Updos! 119 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,937 So, Mrs. Adler, what's your husband like? 120 00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,374 - Is he cute? - No. 121 00:04:35,398 --> 00:04:38,081 Just kidding. Yeah, he's cute... 122 00:04:38,146 --> 00:04:39,814 in a Bilbo Baggins kind of way. 123 00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:42,016 [GIRLS GIGGLE] 124 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:43,640 Why do they laugh so much? 125 00:04:43,665 --> 00:04:46,054 Wanna find out how many babies you're gonna have? 126 00:04:46,121 --> 00:04:47,789 I already know. One. 127 00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:50,126 After this, I'm getting my tubes tied into a bow, 128 00:04:50,193 --> 00:04:52,829 because it's a gift to never be pregnant again. 129 00:04:53,828 --> 00:04:55,539 [INHALES SHARPLY] Okay, sure! 130 00:04:55,765 --> 00:04:57,171 - Pick a color. - Black. 131 00:04:57,226 --> 00:04:58,534 There is no black. 132 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,773 Then I guess I'm out. 133 00:05:01,304 --> 00:05:04,306 Okay, why don't we play something different? 134 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,171 [GASPS] Can we give you guys makeovers? 135 00:05:07,196 --> 00:05:09,965 Sounds fun! Right, Deb? 136 00:05:13,749 --> 00:05:15,584 - Sure... - [GIRLS GIGGLE] 137 00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:18,186 Just be gentle. I use a lot of retinol. 138 00:05:18,254 --> 00:05:20,254 - Ms. Watson? - Yes, Neil? 139 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,290 Daniel won't let me sit next to him. 140 00:05:22,357 --> 00:05:24,226 Daniel, there is plenty of room there. 141 00:05:24,292 --> 00:05:26,662 That seat's for two. It's already taken. 142 00:05:26,729 --> 00:05:29,398 My best friend, Johnny Ravioli, is sitting here. 143 00:05:29,465 --> 00:05:32,203 Is Johnny Ravioli your imaginary friend? 144 00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:34,162 No, he's real, 145 00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:35,826 and you're disturbing him. 146 00:05:35,979 --> 00:05:37,781 He's trying to read "Girl on the Train." 147 00:05:38,187 --> 00:05:40,242 [CHUCKLES] Oh, well, I'm very sorry for disturbing him, 148 00:05:40,309 --> 00:05:42,076 but do you think you could ask Johnny 149 00:05:42,143 --> 00:05:44,213 to stand in the aisle so Neil can sit down? 150 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:47,016 I can't believe you're asking him to stand up! 151 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:49,518 - He was here first. - Well, I am, 152 00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:52,695 so please thank Mr. Ravioli for understanding. 153 00:05:53,756 --> 00:05:55,320 What about Johnny's apple? 154 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,292 Apples are only for students, Daniel. 155 00:05:57,359 --> 00:05:59,718 But Johnny Ravioli was running late this morning 156 00:05:59,743 --> 00:06:01,687 and didn't get to have his bagel and lox. 157 00:06:02,773 --> 00:06:06,648 Okay, Johnny can have one apple. 158 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:11,840 Why'd you just touch Johnny's wiener? 159 00:06:11,907 --> 00:06:13,909 - What? - You touched his wiener! 160 00:06:13,975 --> 00:06:16,043 [STAMMERS] I can assure you, Daniel, 161 00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,913 that I did not touch anybody's wiener. 162 00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:22,150 Uh... sit somewhere else, Neil! 163 00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:24,136 Apple time's over! 164 00:06:24,361 --> 00:06:25,995 [ROCK MUSIC] 165 00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,185 Ta-da! [GIGGLES] 166 00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:31,087 We look like sex dolls that got left out in the sun. 167 00:06:31,154 --> 00:06:33,656 - You don't like it? - Of course she does. 168 00:06:33,723 --> 00:06:37,093 Mrs. Adler just means the makeup is a little... 169 00:06:37,161 --> 00:06:39,428 Halloweeny. I can't wait for Halloween. 170 00:06:39,495 --> 00:06:41,464 I'm gonna be Belle from "Beauty and the Beast." 171 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:44,401 - And I'm gonna be Rapunzel! - And I'm gonna be Snow White! 172 00:06:44,468 --> 00:06:47,170 You know Snow White was drugged and assaulted, right? 173 00:06:47,237 --> 00:06:48,882 - Deb! - And Belle's a clear case 174 00:06:48,907 --> 00:06:49,975 of Stockholm syndrome. 175 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,909 And don't even get me started on Rapunzel. 176 00:06:51,975 --> 00:06:54,310 It's like if the movie "Room" were a fairy tale. 177 00:06:54,377 --> 00:06:57,280 - But I love Rapunzel. - Get serious, Danica. 178 00:06:57,346 --> 00:06:59,115 If someone was climbing up your hair, 179 00:06:59,182 --> 00:07:01,283 your scalp would rip right off. 180 00:07:02,132 --> 00:07:04,254 - All right, I'm done. - Wha... what's wrong? 181 00:07:04,867 --> 00:07:07,056 [SIGHS] I can't be around your toxic energy anymore. 182 00:07:07,124 --> 00:07:08,585 You're not even trying! 183 00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:10,779 Little girls aren't the problem. You are. 184 00:07:10,804 --> 00:07:12,195 I'm taking a walk. 185 00:07:14,845 --> 00:07:17,314 And you should be terrified to have a little girl. 186 00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:19,546 She's gonna need a lot of therapy. 187 00:07:19,835 --> 00:07:20,869 [SCOFFS] 188 00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:24,515 ? ? 189 00:07:25,141 --> 00:07:27,243 You never watched "Rainbow Brite"? 190 00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:29,113 - What about "Care Bears"? - No. 191 00:07:29,178 --> 00:07:30,579 My parents didn't like that when they did 192 00:07:30,646 --> 00:07:32,315 the Care Bear Stare, they led with their crotch. 193 00:07:32,789 --> 00:07:35,156 Sometimes I don't know how to respond to your stories. 194 00:07:35,819 --> 00:07:37,421 Where is Karen? 195 00:07:37,887 --> 00:07:39,622 How hard is it to drive somewhere with food? 196 00:07:39,690 --> 00:07:42,125 - I'm famished. - Me too. 197 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:44,500 I'm so hungry, I could eat you! 198 00:07:44,525 --> 00:07:45,859 We talked about tickling. 199 00:07:48,512 --> 00:07:50,213 Oh, my God. [SCOFFS] 200 00:07:50,365 --> 00:07:52,334 she went to the wrong side of the building. 201 00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,370 There are so many stupid people in this world. 202 00:07:54,437 --> 00:07:55,939 [SCOFFS] Why? 203 00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:57,573 When I see her, I'm gonna ream her out. 204 00:07:57,639 --> 00:07:58,908 [LAUGHS] Just kidding. 205 00:07:58,976 --> 00:08:00,444 I'm gonna say thank you and take my bag. 206 00:08:00,509 --> 00:08:02,545 Ha! Nancy? 207 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,879 Nancy? 208 00:08:03,947 --> 00:08:05,548 No? Okay. 209 00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,883 How long does it take to find a kid? 210 00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:09,619 [CHILDREN YELLING] 211 00:08:09,685 --> 00:08:11,053 Uh, listen up, everyone! 212 00:08:11,304 --> 00:08:16,406 I spy, uh, something... red. 213 00:08:16,431 --> 00:08:17,665 When are we leaving? 214 00:08:17,716 --> 00:08:19,685 When everyone gets on the bus, Neil. 215 00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:21,280 Johnny Ravioli's bored. 216 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,241 Oh... I'm sorry. 217 00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:25,767 What would Johnny Ravioli like to do? 218 00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:29,339 He says it's not his job to think of things for us to do. 219 00:08:29,578 --> 00:08:32,141 He says if you were a responsible teacher, 220 00:08:32,209 --> 00:08:34,477 you would've made a contingency plan. 221 00:08:34,544 --> 00:08:37,213 Well, tell Johnny Ravioli thank you for the feedback. 222 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,195 I'll take it into consideration. 223 00:08:40,449 --> 00:08:43,085 Now, I'm gonna get more specific. 224 00:08:43,152 --> 00:08:46,156 I spy something autumnal red. 225 00:08:46,223 --> 00:08:48,382 Johnny says this game is insipid. 226 00:08:48,891 --> 00:08:50,893 "Insipid"? 227 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,361 Where did you learn that word? 228 00:08:52,429 --> 00:08:54,765 I didn't. I don't know that word. 229 00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:59,536 Okay, everybody, Quiet Caterpillar. 230 00:08:59,602 --> 00:09:01,571 [SHUSHING] 231 00:09:01,637 --> 00:09:04,007 Johnny says that's such a condescending way 232 00:09:04,073 --> 00:09:06,141 to ask children to settle down. 233 00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:08,143 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 234 00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:11,046 He says maybe you should try to, I don't know, 235 00:09:11,113 --> 00:09:14,917 relate to children like they're actual human beings? 236 00:09:17,652 --> 00:09:19,054 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 237 00:09:20,288 --> 00:09:21,856 This bus is out of control! 238 00:09:22,002 --> 00:09:24,914 Now, everybody sit down and shut your mouths! 239 00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:28,890 Except Johnny Ravioli, of course. 240 00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:31,303 He still has to stand in the aisle. 241 00:09:34,871 --> 00:09:36,531 How do you like them apples? 242 00:09:36,678 --> 00:09:37,947 ? ? 243 00:09:38,108 --> 00:09:39,376 I don't understand. 244 00:09:39,443 --> 00:09:41,011 How can the app say she's on the playground? 245 00:09:41,078 --> 00:09:42,946 - We were just there. - I'm seriously starving. 246 00:09:43,012 --> 00:09:45,648 Like, I could die. Where is she? 247 00:09:47,123 --> 00:09:48,291 Are you looking for me? 248 00:09:48,316 --> 00:09:49,718 I'm sorry for holding everyone up. 249 00:09:49,743 --> 00:09:51,664 - Is your name Karen? - No. 250 00:09:51,689 --> 00:09:53,891 Then we're not looking for you. 251 00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:56,851 Wait! 252 00:09:57,059 --> 00:09:58,398 [BUILDING MUSIC] 253 00:10:00,464 --> 00:10:02,864 Have you seen a woman with a bag of food? 254 00:10:02,931 --> 00:10:05,000 - No? - [SIGHS] Rats. 255 00:10:05,068 --> 00:10:06,492 Mary Louise... 256 00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:09,105 her icon disappeared off the map. 257 00:10:09,171 --> 00:10:10,492 [OMINOUS MUSIC] 258 00:10:11,974 --> 00:10:13,810 She's gone. 259 00:10:13,877 --> 00:10:15,406 I'm calling her. 260 00:10:16,112 --> 00:10:17,747 It went straight to voicemail! 261 00:10:17,814 --> 00:10:21,084 Chelsea... Karen's missing. 262 00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:22,914 BOTH: Karen! 263 00:10:23,652 --> 00:10:26,455 [ALL SOBBING] Come on, stop crying. 264 00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:29,593 I'm sorry I said that "MASH" game isn't real. 265 00:10:29,659 --> 00:10:30,894 It's just, statistically, 266 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,028 most of you won't ever live in a mansion. 267 00:10:33,095 --> 00:10:35,562 So I'll never marry Cody Simpson? 268 00:10:35,587 --> 00:10:36,889 You might, 269 00:10:36,914 --> 00:10:38,843 but at that point, he'll probably be in rehab. 270 00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:40,290 [GIRLS SOBBING] 271 00:10:40,536 --> 00:10:43,305 I'm just trying to be honest with you guys. 272 00:10:43,372 --> 00:10:44,840 Uh, I hate it when adults lie. 273 00:10:44,907 --> 00:10:47,209 The truth is, you'll probably end up settling for a guy 274 00:10:47,276 --> 00:10:49,179 you wouldn't have dreamed of dating in your 20s. 275 00:10:49,244 --> 00:10:50,664 [GIRLS SOBBING] 276 00:10:53,949 --> 00:10:56,185 I'm gonna go wash this crap off my face. 277 00:10:56,835 --> 00:10:59,070 STUDENTS: [CHANTING] Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 278 00:10:59,109 --> 00:11:01,457 Deb, what are you doing? 279 00:11:01,523 --> 00:11:03,793 STUDENTS: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 280 00:11:03,859 --> 00:11:06,395 Okay, we will leave when they get Nanc... 281 00:11:06,463 --> 00:11:08,731 STUDENTS: Let's go! Let's go! 282 00:11:08,797 --> 00:11:11,333 Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 283 00:11:11,401 --> 00:11:13,476 [AIR HORN HONKS, STUDENTS GROAN] 284 00:11:15,238 --> 00:11:17,609 How dare you throw an apple core at me! 285 00:11:18,174 --> 00:11:19,408 From here on out, 286 00:11:19,474 --> 00:11:22,078 everybody stays seated and silent. 287 00:11:22,373 --> 00:11:23,675 Got it? 288 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:26,403 I can't believe I have to clean up after you. 289 00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:29,185 [FART NOISE] 290 00:11:29,252 --> 00:11:30,679 [STUDENTS LAUGH] 291 00:11:32,835 --> 00:11:34,617 - Who did that? - Johnny Ravioli. 292 00:11:34,769 --> 00:11:36,570 Well, it better not happen again. 293 00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:38,976 I mean it. 294 00:11:42,565 --> 00:11:43,678 [FART NOISE] 295 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,984 [STUDENTS LAUGH] 296 00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:47,242 Okay, that's it. 297 00:11:49,473 --> 00:11:51,741 Listen up, Johnny, I have been putting up with you all day, 298 00:11:51,808 --> 00:11:53,176 and I am sick of it! 299 00:11:53,242 --> 00:11:55,328 So help me, God, you better... uh. 300 00:11:55,556 --> 00:11:57,858 Don't you walk away from me, Johnny Ravioli. 301 00:11:58,079 --> 00:12:00,049 Hey, you can't get off the bus. 302 00:12:00,116 --> 00:12:02,018 Johnny? Where's he going? 303 00:12:02,084 --> 00:12:03,453 I don't know. 304 00:12:04,154 --> 00:12:05,589 [TENSE MUSIC] 305 00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:07,591 Johnny, look out! There's a car coming! 306 00:12:08,242 --> 00:12:09,468 [ALL GASP] 307 00:12:10,092 --> 00:12:12,127 - [CAR HONKING] - No, Johnny, no! 308 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,296 - [CAR CRASHES] - The car hit him! 309 00:12:14,363 --> 00:12:15,632 [CHILDREN GASPING] 310 00:12:15,699 --> 00:12:18,367 Oh, thank goodness, he's getting up. 311 00:12:18,435 --> 00:12:20,210 He could still pull through. 312 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,843 Oh, my God! No! 313 00:12:23,984 --> 00:12:25,709 - [TRUCK CRASHES] - A garbage truck hit him! 314 00:12:26,171 --> 00:12:29,513 His intestines are all wrapped up in the wheel. 315 00:12:29,579 --> 00:12:33,549 Two hit-and-runs. How could this possibly happen? 316 00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:34,664 [STUDENTS CRYING] 317 00:12:34,689 --> 00:12:36,617 Johnny's dead! 318 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,160 [CHUCKLING] 319 00:12:38,454 --> 00:12:39,796 [STUDENTS SOBBING] 320 00:12:41,523 --> 00:12:43,015 [SOMBER PIANO MUSIC] 321 00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:50,757 I came by to see if you need any help. 322 00:12:51,453 --> 00:12:54,423 Excuse me! Have you seen this girl? 323 00:12:54,529 --> 00:12:55,798 Ugh. 324 00:12:55,951 --> 00:12:57,385 Hey! You! 325 00:12:57,414 --> 00:12:59,146 Have you seen this woman? She's missing. 326 00:12:59,171 --> 00:13:00,578 Her name is Karen. 327 00:13:01,421 --> 00:13:03,146 Maybe we should call Meal Chauffeur. 328 00:13:03,171 --> 00:13:04,484 It's no use. They don't consider her 329 00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:06,904 a missing delivery person until it's been at least an hour. 330 00:13:06,929 --> 00:13:08,249 This is crazy. 331 00:13:08,316 --> 00:13:09,418 I mean, it's like these people don't have 332 00:13:09,486 --> 00:13:10,754 croutons of their own. 333 00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,955 I mean, what if it was one of their croutons? 334 00:13:13,022 --> 00:13:14,554 BOTH: Karen! 335 00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:16,429 [ROCK MUSIC] 336 00:13:24,832 --> 00:13:26,085 [GRUNTS] 337 00:13:28,426 --> 00:13:29,789 Hello? 338 00:13:31,541 --> 00:13:32,952 Who's in there? 339 00:13:33,492 --> 00:13:35,545 [QUIETLY] It's Nancy. 340 00:13:35,612 --> 00:13:37,613 Nancy, we've been looking for you. 341 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,953 What are you doing in the faculty bathroom? 342 00:13:40,523 --> 00:13:42,562 - Hiding. - Why? 343 00:13:43,085 --> 00:13:45,015 I don't wanna talk about it. 344 00:13:46,668 --> 00:13:48,211 Can you open the door? 345 00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:52,617 What's going on? 346 00:13:53,029 --> 00:13:54,964 I think I pooped my pants... 347 00:13:55,031 --> 00:13:56,406 but in the front. 348 00:13:57,039 --> 00:14:00,069 Oh, Nancy, you didn't poop your pants. 349 00:14:00,136 --> 00:14:01,976 You got your period. 350 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:03,953 And you're in luck, 351 00:14:03,978 --> 00:14:06,083 because if there is one thing I'm queen of, 352 00:14:06,108 --> 00:14:07,523 it's menstruation. 353 00:14:07,703 --> 00:14:09,379 I know there are better things to be queen of, 354 00:14:09,445 --> 00:14:11,413 but what I'm saying here is, 355 00:14:11,479 --> 00:14:13,181 I've got your back, girl. 356 00:14:13,248 --> 00:14:14,850 ? ? 357 00:14:17,494 --> 00:14:19,382 I don't wanna have my period. 358 00:14:19,602 --> 00:14:21,536 Just wait until you're in your 20s. 359 00:14:21,603 --> 00:14:23,703 You'll thank your lucky stars every time you get it. 360 00:14:23,812 --> 00:14:25,514 Why did it have to come so soon? 361 00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:26,815 I'm nine. 362 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,975 It's all the hormones in your milk, kid. 363 00:14:29,444 --> 00:14:31,947 Look, I know it's a little early, 364 00:14:32,013 --> 00:14:33,882 but your body is starting to mature, 365 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,518 and that's a good thing. 366 00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,820 I mean, you're gonna have to deal with cramps 367 00:14:37,886 --> 00:14:39,088 and lower back pain, 368 00:14:39,153 --> 00:14:41,489 and guys asking you if you're on your period 369 00:14:41,555 --> 00:14:43,225 just because you're in a bad mood, 370 00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:45,726 which, by the way, is not okay. 371 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,731 But you're also on your way to becoming a woman. 372 00:14:48,797 --> 00:14:50,698 I mean, you're nine, so don't take that like, 373 00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:53,402 "Oh, you have to be a real grown-up" yet, 374 00:14:53,469 --> 00:14:55,438 It's just, you've joined the club 375 00:14:55,463 --> 00:14:57,005 ahead of a lot of your friends, 376 00:14:57,071 --> 00:14:59,041 and that's kinda rad. 377 00:14:59,108 --> 00:15:03,232 I know this feels really annoying and gross right now, 378 00:15:03,257 --> 00:15:07,226 but this is a really special moment in your life. 379 00:15:07,251 --> 00:15:09,252 Thanks, Mrs. Adler. 380 00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:12,387 I can't believe I got my first period on a bus. 381 00:15:12,593 --> 00:15:13,937 Oh, don't feel bad. 382 00:15:13,962 --> 00:15:16,030 I got mind at a Korn concert. 383 00:15:16,055 --> 00:15:17,828 [HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING] 384 00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,742 Why is my neck wet? 385 00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:22,867 Why is my neck wet?! 386 00:15:23,372 --> 00:15:26,808 What's on my neck?! What's on my neck?! 387 00:15:27,102 --> 00:15:30,226 I think we should have a celebration. 388 00:15:30,671 --> 00:15:32,031 Hmm? 389 00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,046 [SOFT PIANO MUSIC] 390 00:15:36,045 --> 00:15:37,992 I'd like to take a moment of silence 391 00:15:38,513 --> 00:15:40,875 for my dear friend, Johnny. 392 00:15:41,684 --> 00:15:42,820 ? ? 393 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,687 You could've put him in jail. 394 00:15:45,754 --> 00:15:46,954 Why'd you go straight to murder? 395 00:15:47,022 --> 00:15:48,812 I don't know, okay? It was a mistake. 396 00:15:48,837 --> 00:15:50,007 Thank you. 397 00:15:50,959 --> 00:15:54,530 Jonathan Pumpkin Ravioli died 398 00:15:54,597 --> 00:15:57,333 just shy of his 67th birthday. 399 00:15:57,398 --> 00:15:58,900 He was a senior citizen? 400 00:15:58,968 --> 00:16:01,234 He had many occupations throughout his life: 401 00:16:01,259 --> 00:16:03,394 soldier, small-business owner, 402 00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:06,343 and collector of antique lighting fixtures. 403 00:16:06,943 --> 00:16:10,646 But his favorite job was that of a husband 404 00:16:10,713 --> 00:16:12,015 and a father. 405 00:16:13,337 --> 00:16:17,174 He is survived by his wife of 43 years, 406 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,953 Barbara Ravioli, 407 00:16:18,985 --> 00:16:20,587 and his three children, 408 00:16:20,778 --> 00:16:22,179 Alfredo... 409 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,507 [IN ITALIAN ACCENT] Bolognese... 410 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,546 and Clam Sauce Ravioli... 411 00:16:29,845 --> 00:16:31,140 and his dog... 412 00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,201 Three-Cheese. 413 00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:35,046 I've affected so many lives. 414 00:16:35,671 --> 00:16:36,867 ? ? 415 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:41,898 [MICROWAVE BEEPS] 416 00:16:47,014 --> 00:16:50,118 No period pizza party is complete without... 417 00:16:50,185 --> 00:16:51,492 the pizza. 418 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:52,937 Thanks, Mrs. Adler. 419 00:16:52,962 --> 00:16:55,063 I had no idea you were so cool. 420 00:16:55,088 --> 00:16:56,758 Hmm, all it took was pizza, huh? 421 00:16:56,957 --> 00:16:58,960 No, it's not that. 422 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,970 I was really freaked out, 423 00:17:00,995 --> 00:17:02,609 and you made me feel a lot better. 424 00:17:02,634 --> 00:17:04,237 Aw. Well, Nancy, 425 00:17:04,262 --> 00:17:05,663 I think you're cool too. 426 00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:07,702 And I actually like your frilly socks, 427 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,281 which is something new for me. 428 00:17:09,306 --> 00:17:11,210 Do we have to get back to the bus? 429 00:17:11,235 --> 00:17:13,003 Mm... they can wait. 430 00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:17,117 Let's play one more game of Pin the Pad on the Uterus. 431 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,484 - Yeah? - [GIGGLES] 432 00:17:18,922 --> 00:17:20,414 [STIRRING STRING MUSIC] 433 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,296 ? ? 434 00:17:23,351 --> 00:17:25,486 Okay... 435 00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:27,671 - [GIGGLES] - There you go. 436 00:17:28,189 --> 00:17:29,648 ? ? 437 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,262 [STAMMERS] 438 00:17:33,329 --> 00:17:35,129 [CHEERS] Oh! 439 00:17:35,196 --> 00:17:36,507 ? ? 440 00:17:40,697 --> 00:17:42,250 BOTH: Karen! 441 00:17:44,673 --> 00:17:46,275 Thank God! 442 00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:47,867 [OVERJOYED MURMURING] 443 00:17:51,681 --> 00:17:54,016 Uh, yeah, sorry, the app's a little buggy today. 444 00:17:54,082 --> 00:17:56,017 - Oh, we were worried sick. - Are you okay? 445 00:17:56,312 --> 00:17:58,987 - Did anyone hurt you? - No. 446 00:17:59,053 --> 00:18:02,291 Don't you ever scare us like that again, 447 00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:03,451 do you hear me? 448 00:18:03,476 --> 00:18:04,703 Now you go back to Meal Chauffeur 449 00:18:04,728 --> 00:18:06,203 and think about what you've done, young lady. 450 00:18:06,228 --> 00:18:08,046 And we'll figure out how we're gonna handle this. 451 00:18:08,117 --> 00:18:09,697 Okay. Again, I... I'm sorry. 452 00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:11,242 Just please don't Yelp about this. 453 00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:13,242 Hmm. We'll see. 454 00:18:15,771 --> 00:18:17,039 - Utensils? - Yeah. 455 00:18:17,105 --> 00:18:18,718 - Okay, good. Thanks. - Okay. 456 00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:23,453 Hey... 457 00:18:24,288 --> 00:18:25,601 I'm sorry I was such a dick. 458 00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:28,203 And I'm sorry I said your daughter would need a lot of therapy. 459 00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:29,812 I think you'll be a great mom. 460 00:18:29,837 --> 00:18:31,172 I think so too. 461 00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,821 And I'm actually really excited about having a girl. 462 00:18:33,888 --> 00:18:35,375 What took you so long? 463 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,320 There's been two hit-and-runs, a death, and a funeral. 464 00:18:38,345 --> 00:18:40,500 Don't worry, everyone. We found her. 465 00:18:40,525 --> 00:18:42,094 - No, you didn't. - Oh, really? 466 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,007 Then how did we get these, fool? 467 00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:46,002 What are you talking about? 468 00:18:46,234 --> 00:18:48,468 - What are you talking about? - Nancy. 469 00:18:49,122 --> 00:18:50,406 Right... 470 00:18:50,474 --> 00:18:53,310 Nancy, where were you? We looked everywhere. 471 00:18:53,335 --> 00:18:54,775 But we talked in the hall. 472 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,868 Bus driver! 473 00:18:55,893 --> 00:18:57,382 We're all here. Let's go. 474 00:18:59,247 --> 00:19:00,562 [ALL CHEER] 475 00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:04,052 Oh, my God! You're gonna hit Johnny! 476 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,120 [TIRES SCREECH, ALL SCREAM] 477 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,367 [GRUNTING] 478 00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,039 [GROANS] 479 00:19:12,414 --> 00:19:14,061 [GROANING] Daniel... 480 00:19:14,128 --> 00:19:16,961 Johnny Ravioli's dead, remember? 481 00:19:17,093 --> 00:19:18,427 I know. 482 00:19:18,729 --> 00:19:20,195 It was his ghost. 483 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,773 Now he's immortal. 484 00:19:23,304 --> 00:19:24,758 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 485 00:19:26,308 --> 00:19:28,077 ? ? 486 00:19:29,203 --> 00:19:31,392 Very well behaved at the planetarium, everyone. 487 00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:33,375 Guys, I don't wanna do... [GROANS] 488 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,202 - Mrs. Adler? - Yeah? 489 00:19:35,227 --> 00:19:37,265 I've been elected to talk to you 490 00:19:37,290 --> 00:19:40,219 on behalf of the boys of Fillmore Elementary. 491 00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:43,696 - Okay. - We've been made aware 492 00:19:43,763 --> 00:19:46,617 that you throw girls parties when they get their periods. 493 00:19:46,841 --> 00:19:49,515 Boys don't have periods, so what do we get? 494 00:19:50,362 --> 00:19:51,711 Entitlement. 495 00:19:52,513 --> 00:19:54,390 Did I stutter? Good-bye. 496 00:19:55,264 --> 00:19:56,664 [ROCK MUSIC] 497 00:19:58,787 --> 00:20:00,242 Great sweater. 498 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:06,297 synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com* 499 00:20:06,347 --> 00:20:10,897 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35047

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