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1
00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:07,642
That's new.
2
00:00:07,944 --> 00:00:10,445
Oh, yeah. My girlfriend
gave me a watch.
3
00:00:10,455 --> 00:00:12,281
Do you give a crap,
or are you just hoping
4
00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:13,829
that by pointing out
something new of mine,
5
00:00:14,099 --> 00:00:17,856
I'll segue the conversation into talking
about something new of yours, like...
6
00:00:18,526 --> 00:00:21,235
Your new prepubescent
"Miami Vice" beard.
7
00:00:21,365 --> 00:00:23,859
There are those who say I look
like a young Kenny Loggins.
8
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,865
- Who?
- Me.
9
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:27,769
Time to go
teach the new interns.
10
00:00:27,901 --> 00:00:29,653
They started a week ago,
11
00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:31,130
and they sucked!
12
00:00:32,084 --> 00:00:36,455
This patient's loss of temperature
sensation on the contralateral side
13
00:00:36,577 --> 00:00:38,874
is consistent
with which syndrome, Rodney?
14
00:00:39,288 --> 00:00:42,265
There was Katie,
the self-centered climber...
15
00:00:42,466 --> 00:00:43,489
McConaughey's.
16
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:44,927
McConaughey's.
17
00:00:45,761 --> 00:00:46,761
McConaughey is not a syndrome.
18
00:00:46,771 --> 00:00:48,697
He is, however, one of
our finest working actors.
19
00:00:48,699 --> 00:00:51,000
I recently learned
how I could lose him in 10 days.
20
00:00:51,137 --> 00:00:53,438
Katie is sabotaging you,
I assume,
21
00:00:53,448 --> 00:00:56,880
- because she knows the answer.
- Brown-sequard syndrome.
22
00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:58,710
Yay, Katie got it.
23
00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:01,914
There was Denise,
who could be a bit callous...
24
00:01:02,784 --> 00:01:03,518
You know...
25
00:01:03,519 --> 00:01:05,854
It's ironic that "cancer"
starts with "can,"
26
00:01:06,587 --> 00:01:07,320
because at this stage,
27
00:01:07,626 --> 00:01:09,227
there's nothing
we can do about it.
28
00:01:09,929 --> 00:01:12,462
Let's take a walk, sunshine.
I...
29
00:01:14,066 --> 00:01:14,632
And there was Ed.
30
00:01:15,005 --> 00:01:17,238
Ed, did you finish
those case reports last night?
31
00:01:17,248 --> 00:01:19,175
Ah! I totally
was gonna do it, man,
32
00:01:19,185 --> 00:01:21,176
but I was on this "Lost"
fan site last night
33
00:01:21,879 --> 00:01:22,613
talking to this chick.
34
00:01:23,346 --> 00:01:26,213
About an hour in, I realize
it's a dude messin' with me.
35
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,722
- I've been there.
- Revenge time.
36
00:01:28,732 --> 00:01:31,612
I signed up for a new account--
Hotgirl99.
37
00:01:31,773 --> 00:01:33,017
I start flirtin'
with this dude.
38
00:01:33,206 --> 00:01:34,621
I'm like, "Oh, hey,
I look just like Kate."
39
00:01:34,741 --> 00:01:36,465
And he's totally into it,
right?
40
00:01:36,556 --> 00:01:38,251
Next thing you know,
I got him to agree
41
00:01:38,412 --> 00:01:40,591
to a personal meet-up
here in the hospital
42
00:01:41,022 --> 00:01:43,008
where he'll be holding
a red balloon.
43
00:01:46,819 --> 00:01:51,320
- Wait a minute, you're Hotgirl99?
- Yeah.
44
00:01:52,755 --> 00:01:55,456
- The new interns all suck!
- Yeah, but I'm gonna handle it.
45
00:01:55,692 --> 00:01:57,859
Like you handled
Jimmy the overly-touchy orderly?
46
00:01:58,629 --> 00:02:00,230
Somebody looking for me?
47
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:01,734
No, Jimmy, we're fine.
48
00:02:01,744 --> 00:02:04,236
All right. Let me know if
you need anything. Okay.
49
00:02:04,246 --> 00:02:06,930
Have you noticed he only
touches above the waist now?
50
00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:08,074
You're welcome.
51
00:02:08,255 --> 00:02:11,347
You know, our intern class
was the last good one.
52
00:02:12,073 --> 00:02:13,583
You must've liked my class
a little,
53
00:02:13,713 --> 00:02:14,567
seeing as you almost
married me.
54
00:02:14,619 --> 00:02:17,352
Mm, yeah, but hello, Keith,
I didn't.
55
00:02:19,025 --> 00:02:20,826
That was harsh,
but no one cared
56
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:23,596
because today we were meeting
Dr. Kelso's replacement
57
00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:25,967
as Chief of Medicine--
Dr. Taylor Maddox.
58
00:02:26,502 --> 00:02:29,436
She was smokin' hot, so first
I had to see her like this...
59
00:02:35,315 --> 00:02:37,983
I wanna be your lover, baby,
I wanna be your man
60
00:02:38,084 --> 00:02:40,852
I don't want no other, baby,
want you again and again
61
00:02:41,723 --> 00:02:43,591
and I've waited
all night long
62
00:02:43,742 --> 00:02:45,187
now I know what I wanna do
63
00:02:46,129 --> 00:02:50,326
I just wanna make
love to you, come on!
64
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,086
Yeah!
65
00:02:57,265 --> 00:02:59,269
Hi. Hi.
66
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,249
But then I noticed
how friendly she seemed.
67
00:03:01,259 --> 00:03:04,117
She had the most infectious
smile. No one could resist it.
68
00:03:04,282 --> 00:03:06,509
- And I mean no one.
- No.
69
00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:07,525
Yes!
70
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:09,755
Never!
71
00:03:11,164 --> 00:03:11,864
Here it comes!
72
00:03:15,524 --> 00:03:19,603
- Clear.
- Aah!
73
00:03:20,108 --> 00:03:21,208
Brava!
74
00:03:22,142 --> 00:03:22,642
Oh, yeah!
75
00:03:23,081 --> 00:03:23,915
Yes!
76
00:03:25,850 --> 00:03:27,051
You proud fool.
77
00:03:27,061 --> 00:03:30,924
Okay, I'm gonna tell you everything
you need to know about me.
78
00:03:31,727 --> 00:03:32,793
One-- I have an open door policy.
79
00:03:33,699 --> 00:03:36,633
Two-- if you do your job well,
you're great with me. Okay?
80
00:03:37,066 --> 00:03:38,533
And three-- I don't like spiders.
81
00:03:38,543 --> 00:03:40,504
So if you see one,
I want you to stomp it.
82
00:03:40,514 --> 00:03:42,471
I want you to stomp it dead,
okay?
83
00:03:42,481 --> 00:03:44,475
I don't want you
to put it into a little cup
84
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,478
and take it outside,
because it'll just
85
00:03:46,488 --> 00:03:48,548
find its way back in, okay?
They're sneaky.
86
00:03:48,883 --> 00:03:51,321
Oh, can someone help that man
to his room?
87
00:03:52,686 --> 00:03:55,168
Oh. No, I-I'm not sick.
88
00:03:55,681 --> 00:03:58,302
I'm just cold,
and there were no chairs.
89
00:03:59,826 --> 00:04:01,577
I'm-- I'm a lawyer.
90
00:04:02,099 --> 00:04:05,110
- Of course you are, sweetie.
- I'm on it.
91
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,398
She's the new boss, Ted.
92
00:04:08,341 --> 00:04:09,717
Aah!
93
00:04:12,072 --> 00:04:12,747
Does it hurt here?
94
00:04:13,046 --> 00:04:15,415
Or here? How about here?
Or under here?
95
00:04:16,497 --> 00:04:16,964
Do I know you?
96
00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:19,090
Jimmy, heel!
97
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:22,229
Slowly move. Just slowly move.
Don't rush anything. No, Jimmy.
98
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,866
Oh, Jimmy.
Breathe deep for me real slow.
99
00:04:24,967 --> 00:04:27,534
I just wanna feel you breathe.
100
00:04:28,773 --> 00:04:31,040
Yeah. That's a boy.
That's a boy. That's a boy.
101
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:32,974
Good. Breathe on my face.
102
00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:36,306
"My Jerks"
103
00:04:39,229 --> 00:04:42,421
Edited and Improved by: VeRdiKT
[subscene.com]
104
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,239
Okay, time to connect
with the new chief
105
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,851
using a picture of my son
and some brilliant acting.
106
00:04:54,136 --> 00:04:54,761
Oh! Is that your boy?
107
00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,994
What's that? Oh, yeah.
108
00:04:57,736 --> 00:04:59,902
- His name is Sam.
- I have a daughter of my own.
109
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,483
It's working!
110
00:05:02,894 --> 00:05:03,274
Now seal the deal
111
00:05:03,609 --> 00:05:06,277
with a follow-up question,
but nothing too personal.
112
00:05:07,448 --> 00:05:08,315
Did you deliver vaginally?
113
00:05:09,614 --> 00:05:10,644
I did.
114
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,054
Big girl. Must've hurt.
115
00:05:13,457 --> 00:05:14,350
Wow.
116
00:05:16,294 --> 00:05:20,509
Hi, Mr. Hicks. So you were
admitted to the hospital
117
00:05:20,642 --> 00:05:22,246
- with shortness of breath?
- Yes, that's right.
118
00:05:22,859 --> 00:05:23,998
Okay, so I'm just gonna...
119
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,585
Die! Die! Die!
120
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:29,318
Sorry. Spider. Um,
I'm just gonna take you up
121
00:05:29,399 --> 00:05:33,617
- and get you a full-body scan, okay?
- Yeah.
122
00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:35,351
And there she goes.
123
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:38,287
A chief of medicine working
one-on-one with a patient?
124
00:05:39,491 --> 00:05:41,081
Maybe she's not so bad.
125
00:05:41,411 --> 00:05:43,197
- I think she's probably a jerk.
- Why?
126
00:05:43,388 --> 00:05:44,431
That position
attracts jerks.
127
00:05:45,568 --> 00:05:47,541
Plus, well, I know jerks.
128
00:05:47,691 --> 00:05:50,098
Hell, I married a jerk.
I divorced a jerk.
129
00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:52,696
- New freckle.
- I'm interrupted by jerks.
130
00:05:52,937 --> 00:05:54,825
Look, just give me two minutes
with this Maddox,
131
00:05:54,924 --> 00:05:57,337
and I'll know for sure
whether or not she's a jerk.
132
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,450
Well, go!
133
00:05:58,661 --> 00:05:59,613
Pass.
134
00:06:04,479 --> 00:06:06,004
I know people are down
on these new interns,
135
00:06:06,225 --> 00:06:07,649
but everyone's teachable,
you know?
136
00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:10,138
- Even Jo.
- Who?
137
00:06:10,288 --> 00:06:13,247
I like to call Denise "Jo"
because she reminds me
138
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:16,018
of that streetwise, mannish girl
on "Facts of Life."
139
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,602
You know,
Katie's cutesy and blonde.
140
00:06:18,874 --> 00:06:20,922
- You could call her "Blair."
- "Blair" is stupid.
141
00:06:20,957 --> 00:06:21,415
"Blair" is perfect,
142
00:06:21,952 --> 00:06:24,488
but now I can never use it
in front of Turk,
143
00:06:24,657 --> 00:06:27,658
or he'll say 'You're welcome!'
in that really smug way of his.
144
00:06:27,668 --> 00:06:31,029
Okay, let's gather 'round
for rounds.
145
00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:33,307
Get it? "'round for rounds"?
You can use it.
146
00:06:33,331 --> 00:06:36,636
Our first patient is
presenting with biliary colic...
147
00:06:36,707 --> 00:06:39,108
And, uh-- Ed, would--
Would you mind-- would you mind
148
00:06:39,118 --> 00:06:41,509
turning off the beeping
if you're gonna text?
149
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,081
- I'll turn it off.
- Thank you!
150
00:06:44,091 --> 00:06:48,509
Uh, upper right abdominal pain.
What's your diagnosis... Jo?
151
00:06:48,648 --> 00:06:48,960
I know.
152
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:51,088
Of course you do, Katie,
because you know anything
153
00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:53,505
that anyone's ever asked
you ever. But I didn't ask you.
154
00:06:53,655 --> 00:06:54,418
I asked Jo.
155
00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:57,076
Well, the patient definitely
looks like hell, so--
156
00:06:57,307 --> 00:06:59,095
Quick side note--
When a patient's eyes are open,
157
00:06:59,405 --> 00:07:00,720
that usually means
that they're awake.
158
00:07:00,755 --> 00:07:02,637
Sorry, Mrs. Gallagher.
You look very beautiful today.
159
00:07:03,274 --> 00:07:03,674
Doesn't she?
160
00:07:04,109 --> 00:07:06,177
Yeah, your jaundice
makes you glow.
161
00:07:06,282 --> 00:07:08,871
Yes, yellow like the sun.
162
00:07:09,203 --> 00:07:12,289
- Ed, stop texting!
- I'm not texting.
163
00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:14,181
I'm looking at photos
of Sienna Miller's breasts.
164
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,267
There's a difference.
165
00:07:15,418 --> 00:07:18,202
Okay, well, do that more
later, when we're together.
166
00:07:18,735 --> 00:07:19,637
Jo, you were saying?
167
00:07:19,757 --> 00:07:21,654
I'm guessing Mrs. Gallagher
probably has cholecy--
168
00:07:21,654 --> 00:07:23,068
Cholecystitis.
She has cholecystitis.
169
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,801
- I'm gonna cut your throat.
- Okay, that's enough, Jo.
170
00:07:25,811 --> 00:07:27,847
- You, too, Blair.
- Welcome!
171
00:07:27,977 --> 00:07:29,151
Damn it!
172
00:07:29,403 --> 00:07:30,999
If you want,
you can call me "Tootie."
173
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,245
- I don't think it's racist.
- Oh, oh, fine.
174
00:07:32,255 --> 00:07:36,082
I'm Tootie, and I know how
to go on the web and BitTorrent.
175
00:07:36,263 --> 00:07:39,549
You probably shouldn't be texting
while you're leading rounds.
176
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,714
I'm-- Oh, I'm-- th--
this is his phone.
177
00:07:41,815 --> 00:07:43,783
- It's not my phone.
- W.T.H?!
178
00:07:43,953 --> 00:07:46,099
Oh, fine. It's not your phone.
Hey, want a phone, buddy?
179
00:07:49,707 --> 00:07:50,107
No.
180
00:07:50,117 --> 00:07:52,109
All right, listen,
I want you
181
00:07:52,119 --> 00:07:54,422
to run some renal function tests
on Mr. Hicks.
182
00:07:54,531 --> 00:07:57,110
Can you do that, or do you have
more questions about my vagina?
183
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:57,945
Lie!
184
00:07:58,751 --> 00:07:59,151
No.
185
00:07:59,983 --> 00:08:00,117
Hmm.
186
00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:03,214
Dr. Maddox,
I just wanted to say
187
00:08:03,214 --> 00:08:04,958
how excited I am to
be working with you.
188
00:08:06,597 --> 00:08:07,431
Katie is such a kiss ass.
189
00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:10,500
You mean "mini-Elliot"?
190
00:08:10,935 --> 00:08:13,168
What? That's what
everybody's calling her.
191
00:08:13,178 --> 00:08:14,838
It's probably
just because we are...
192
00:08:15,777 --> 00:08:17,411
Both blonde
and have perky boobs.
193
00:08:18,412 --> 00:08:19,350
Or...
194
00:08:19,510 --> 00:08:22,299
It's because she is incredibly
whiny and self-involved,
195
00:08:22,429 --> 00:08:24,536
and you, Barboo, for the last
year and a half or so,
196
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:28,362
have been the most self-involved
and whiny person in the galaxy.
197
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,034
What nobody understands
about me...
198
00:08:30,935 --> 00:08:31,794
Point proven. Thank you.
199
00:08:32,933 --> 00:08:33,400
Okay...
200
00:08:34,402 --> 00:08:35,035
Mm, suck-up's back.
201
00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:36,501
You're abrasive.
202
00:08:37,170 --> 00:08:37,870
That's enough, Blair.
203
00:08:38,374 --> 00:08:39,842
- Welcome!
- Damn it!
204
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,779
Okay, listen up, guys. I gotta
go take care of Mr. Hicks,
205
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,983
so I need you guys to watch
the floor. Check every patient
206
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:48,152
and switch out any lines
that need changing.
207
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:50,221
Monitor Mr. Lombardi's
blood gas,
208
00:08:50,223 --> 00:08:52,323
and intubate him
if he starts getting acidotic.
209
00:08:52,461 --> 00:08:54,362
Work as a team,
you'll be all over it.
210
00:08:54,372 --> 00:08:56,362
Let's have some hands in,
okay?
211
00:08:56,372 --> 00:08:58,030
Somebody has some
very soft hands.
212
00:08:58,199 --> 00:08:59,392
I sleep in gloves.
213
00:08:59,702 --> 00:09:00,602
Right on.
Okay, nobody die!
214
00:09:02,669 --> 00:09:03,236
Nobody die!
215
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:05,210
Dr. Kelso...
216
00:09:05,747 --> 00:09:09,270
Now that you're retired,
I can finally say this.
217
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,596
You, sir...
218
00:09:13,113 --> 00:09:15,231
- Oh, I can't do it.
- You'll get there, Ted.
219
00:09:17,196 --> 00:09:19,898
- What's with the balloon?
- It's been a sad day.
220
00:09:19,908 --> 00:09:21,933
Can you even believe Dr. Cox?
221
00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:25,035
calling me whiny
and self-involved?
222
00:09:25,104 --> 00:09:28,204
Elliot, you know how
we're so close
223
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,192
we can say anything
to each other, right?
224
00:09:30,301 --> 00:09:30,673
Yeah?
225
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,148
Look, over the last year
or so,
226
00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:35,181
you've been going through
a lot.
227
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,253
You got engaged.
228
00:09:39,259 --> 00:09:41,760
You broke off your wedding
at the last second.
229
00:09:42,031 --> 00:09:44,799
It'd be easy for anyone to
become a little self-absorbed.
230
00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:47,507
What are you saying,
Carla?
231
00:09:48,738 --> 00:09:50,473
This is why
I come here every day.
232
00:09:51,676 --> 00:09:53,095
You come here every day?
233
00:09:53,698 --> 00:09:55,182
Loser!
234
00:09:56,569 --> 00:09:58,035
My balloon!
235
00:10:00,862 --> 00:10:03,632
Mr. Hicks' renal tests
came back negative.
236
00:10:03,724 --> 00:10:04,801
Thank God.
237
00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:07,369
See, Bernie isn't just
a patient. He's also my lover.
238
00:10:09,717 --> 00:10:10,540
Really?
239
00:10:11,693 --> 00:10:13,821
No!
He's fat, bald and ugly!
240
00:10:14,132 --> 00:10:15,498
- Thanks a lot!
- Aah!
241
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,745
Okay, just swallow your pain
and fix this.
242
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:19,714
Look, Dr. Maddox,
243
00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:22,398
I think you're
a very well-built...
244
00:10:23,221 --> 00:10:25,549
Sturdy woman.
245
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:26,693
Like a shed.
246
00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:29,309
No, not like a shed.
Like a...
247
00:10:29,752 --> 00:10:31,426
Naughty...
248
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:32,783
- Like it.
- Structure.
249
00:10:33,747 --> 00:10:35,331
- Structure?
- I should go.
250
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,112
Ugh! Aah!
251
00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:43,377
Stop confusing me by being nice
and giving me phones.
252
00:10:43,658 --> 00:10:46,909
Fine! But why did you
have to trip me?
253
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,027
Let me answer that question
with another question--
254
00:10:49,197 --> 00:10:50,492
'cause I wanted to?
255
00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:54,859
- Ahem! Excuse me.
- Yeah?
256
00:10:55,298 --> 00:10:57,105
Do you think
it would've been funny
257
00:10:57,217 --> 00:10:58,551
if he had broken his neck?
258
00:11:00,281 --> 00:11:01,826
I feel like
you want me to say "no."
259
00:11:01,955 --> 00:11:04,409
- What's your name?
- Oh, boy. You really are new here.
260
00:11:06,507 --> 00:11:07,665
Uh-oh.
261
00:11:08,277 --> 00:11:10,713
- "The Janitor."
- Howdy!
262
00:11:12,186 --> 00:11:12,652
Oh, say, Beth,
263
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:15,474
your patient Mr. Lombardi
is about to crash.
264
00:11:15,896 --> 00:11:16,708
How'd that happen?
265
00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:19,690
Well, sometimes
when people get owies
266
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,750
and they're left untreated,
they become even bigger owies.
267
00:11:22,902 --> 00:11:25,710
Hey! You guys are supposed
to tube him if he got acidotic.
268
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,397
- What the hell?!
- He's not my patient, man.
269
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:28,476
Uh, I-I was over there.
270
00:11:28,811 --> 00:11:30,756
Now he's coding.
271
00:11:31,519 --> 00:11:32,259
Crash cart!
272
00:11:33,132 --> 00:11:34,598
Sometimes just two words
273
00:11:34,768 --> 00:11:36,583
are enough to make your
thoughts perfectly clear...
274
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,456
So you actually agree
with what Dr. Cox said about me?
275
00:11:40,254 --> 00:11:42,229
Whether you're being
brutally honest...
276
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:43,483
I do.
277
00:11:44,758 --> 00:11:46,262
Or holding someone
accountable...
278
00:11:47,136 --> 00:11:47,570
You're fired.
279
00:11:49,035 --> 00:11:49,969
What about my son?
280
00:11:50,611 --> 00:11:51,889
That's my daughter!
281
00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:56,936
I'm-- I'm-- I'm-- I'm sorry.
May I see it again?
282
00:11:58,133 --> 00:11:58,484
Please?
283
00:11:59,693 --> 00:12:03,122
Aah! Eeh!
284
00:12:04,122 --> 00:12:05,923
Or apologizing
for a major screwup.
285
00:12:06,863 --> 00:12:07,822
We're sorry.
286
00:12:07,963 --> 00:12:09,650
Yeah. We'll-- we'll get it
together from now on.
287
00:12:09,759 --> 00:12:10,212
Promise.
288
00:12:10,934 --> 00:12:14,182
But for some reason,
I didn't want to hear it.
289
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:16,250
You know what?
I'm done with you guys.
290
00:12:20,052 --> 00:12:22,646
Hey, C-Bear,
every time I see Maddox,
291
00:12:22,747 --> 00:12:24,844
I get one step closer
to ending my career.
292
00:12:25,265 --> 00:12:28,328
- Aw, you'll be fine. Maddox seems cool.
- I don't know about that.
293
00:12:28,468 --> 00:12:30,104
I- I just can't
shake the feeling
294
00:12:30,224 --> 00:12:33,264
- that woman is a complete tool.
- You've been saying that all day.
295
00:12:33,349 --> 00:12:35,532
Why don't you just go talk to her
and figure it out once and for all?
296
00:12:36,254 --> 00:12:36,669
Nah.
297
00:12:37,766 --> 00:12:39,060
Hey, aren't you
supposed to be at rounds?
298
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,646
Oh, they're driving me crazy.
299
00:12:40,681 --> 00:12:43,511
Someone needs to send those
interns to an internment camp.
300
00:12:44,082 --> 00:12:46,051
Dude, internment camps
are never funny.
301
00:12:46,061 --> 00:12:48,213
I always forget that Turk
is one-eighth Japanese.
302
00:12:50,427 --> 00:12:53,722
Hey, can you give Mr. Hicks
a full cardiac workup?
303
00:12:53,843 --> 00:12:55,057
Of course.
304
00:12:55,249 --> 00:12:57,106
And what would you say
if I said he was my lover?
305
00:12:57,141 --> 00:12:59,315
I'd know that obviously
you were joking
306
00:12:59,435 --> 00:13:01,263
because you are
way out of his league.
307
00:13:02,713 --> 00:13:05,130
Oh, there-- there
that is. We're doing this. Okay.
308
00:13:05,281 --> 00:13:06,757
- I like you the best.
- Oh.
309
00:13:07,804 --> 00:13:09,926
Thanks, mom...
Ma'am. Ma'am.
310
00:13:10,037 --> 00:13:11,199
She's not your mom.
311
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,586
Well, she certainly doesn't
think that I'm all about me.
312
00:13:14,387 --> 00:13:15,187
I was just being honest.
313
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:17,160
I'd want you
to do the same for me
314
00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:19,231
if I were doing things
I might regret later.
315
00:13:19,241 --> 00:13:22,194
Name one thing that I've done
lately that I'm gonna regret.
316
00:13:23,183 --> 00:13:23,605
Mmm!
317
00:13:24,317 --> 00:13:25,923
- Oh!
- Hey, blondie!
318
00:13:26,508 --> 00:13:27,641
- Ahh.
- Show me your rack!
319
00:13:28,672 --> 00:13:28,772
No!
320
00:13:29,145 --> 00:13:31,109
Ooh! Yah!
321
00:13:32,362 --> 00:13:35,082
Oh, like that
is gonna come back to haunt me.
322
00:13:37,825 --> 00:13:39,858
- What else you got?
- Well, what about the way
323
00:13:39,868 --> 00:13:42,263
you're always mocking Keith
about not marrying him?
324
00:13:43,397 --> 00:13:46,280
You probably don't even realize
how devastated he still is.
325
00:13:47,959 --> 00:13:48,601
Oh, hey, ladies!
326
00:13:49,874 --> 00:13:50,708
Awesome day, huh?
327
00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:52,209
Awesome!
328
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:55,111
Ugh.
I hope he'll pull through.
329
00:13:57,985 --> 00:14:00,760
And now on to our next patient.
330
00:14:01,322 --> 00:14:02,797
Let's go, bitches!
331
00:14:03,429 --> 00:14:05,853
Why is Dr. Squeaky Pants
leading rounds?
332
00:14:05,983 --> 00:14:07,209
Where the hell is Dorian?
333
00:14:08,763 --> 00:14:10,610
Keith is not
still devastated.
334
00:14:10,751 --> 00:14:12,025
I mean, what the hell
is Carla talking about?
335
00:14:12,213 --> 00:14:15,419
- She's completely off base, right?
- I have to disagree with you.
336
00:14:15,549 --> 00:14:17,217
You don't see my point at all?
337
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,555
You don't understand.
I'm married to Carla, right?
338
00:14:20,188 --> 00:14:21,666
She has spies everywhere.
339
00:14:21,807 --> 00:14:23,594
So I have to disagree with you.
340
00:14:27,889 --> 00:14:29,890
I'm on to you, Rochelle.
341
00:14:32,358 --> 00:14:34,063
Dr. Reid?
May I talk to you?
342
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:39,637
Ted, are you gonna talk?
343
00:14:40,244 --> 00:14:41,613
In a second.
I'm just waiting
344
00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:44,088
for the anti-anxiety medication
to kick in.
345
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,357
And... There it is.
346
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:48,387
Hey, baby.
347
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,042
Yeah, Ted,
I'm actually in charge
348
00:14:51,152 --> 00:14:52,389
of keeping
a lot of people alive, so--
349
00:14:52,895 --> 00:14:54,364
Carla's right.
Keith's a mess.
350
00:14:54,374 --> 00:14:57,298
He hasn't been able to pull out
of it since you ended things.
351
00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:00,069
- He's sad all the time.
- Yeah, I don't see it.
352
00:15:01,004 --> 00:15:01,670
Of course you don't.
353
00:15:02,106 --> 00:15:04,467
No one ever wants
the person who hurt them
354
00:15:04,569 --> 00:15:06,344
to ever see how badly
they've been hurt.
355
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:15,323
- Morning.
- Morning.
356
00:15:15,591 --> 00:15:17,358
It's amazing
how the exact same question
357
00:15:18,565 --> 00:15:20,167
can have
totally different connotations.
358
00:15:21,565 --> 00:15:22,454
May I talk to you?
359
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:24,341
May I talk to you?
360
00:15:26,698 --> 00:15:27,625
May I talk to you?
361
00:15:28,737 --> 00:15:31,047
I have to ask,
when I fired you before...
362
00:15:31,318 --> 00:15:33,888
- Did you think I was kidding?
- No, I knew you were serious
363
00:15:33,998 --> 00:15:35,361
'cause I heard that you fired
Jimmy the orderly.
364
00:15:35,462 --> 00:15:36,174
What'd he do?
365
00:15:37,424 --> 00:15:39,792
Okay, this is where
you keep all of the tension.
366
00:15:40,466 --> 00:15:42,300
Do you mind
if I do a yogi chant?
367
00:15:42,965 --> 00:15:43,731
It relaxes the muscles.
368
00:15:45,103 --> 00:15:48,000
Ha, maya, maya, ma-ha!
369
00:15:49,263 --> 00:15:50,338
- Do you feel that?
- Mm-hmm.
370
00:15:50,348 --> 00:15:53,145
But that's just Jimmy
being Jimmy.
371
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,342
You know, the incident yesterday
with Dr. Dorian--
372
00:15:55,543 --> 00:15:57,390
I swear to you
that will never happen again...
373
00:15:57,751 --> 00:15:58,544
Even though he deserved it.
374
00:15:58,579 --> 00:16:01,421
- I don't know.
- Come on! I've been here forever.
375
00:16:01,592 --> 00:16:03,445
You can't just throw me
out of the hospital.
376
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:06,657
No, but I can walk you out
without you even noticing.
377
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,727
Well-played.
378
00:16:11,079 --> 00:16:13,240
- I need your keys.
- Mmm.
379
00:16:14,347 --> 00:16:16,313
- Where are the rest?
- I got tired of carrying 'em all,
380
00:16:16,422 --> 00:16:18,551
so I made one that works
on everything. Watch!
381
00:16:22,651 --> 00:16:23,318
Huh? How about that?
382
00:16:23,622 --> 00:16:26,056
Come on. Hit the highway!
383
00:16:28,924 --> 00:16:29,646
Thank you.
384
00:16:33,777 --> 00:16:34,385
No!
385
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:39,409
Keith...
386
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,527
I just realized that I
never really took the time
387
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:46,719
to apologize for the way
things ended between us.
388
00:16:48,726 --> 00:16:49,022
I mean, I did say
389
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,027
that I was so sorry right
when it happened. Remember?
390
00:16:53,062 --> 00:16:54,232
We were outside,
391
00:16:54,412 --> 00:16:56,132
I gave you the ring back,
you started crying and cr--
392
00:16:56,234 --> 00:16:57,308
Uh, no need to recap,
Elliot.
393
00:16:57,470 --> 00:16:58,482
Right.
394
00:16:59,606 --> 00:17:01,506
Look, I know
this was my decision,
395
00:17:01,575 --> 00:17:04,011
so it was easier for me
to move on,
396
00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:06,813
and, well, you know,
make jokes and stuff.
397
00:17:06,823 --> 00:17:09,184
I guess that I've been
so self-involved
398
00:17:09,921 --> 00:17:12,589
I never stopped to think
that you still may be hurting.
399
00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:16,261
Anyway, I just wanted
to really apologize...
400
00:17:18,391 --> 00:17:18,891
For everything.
401
00:17:20,963 --> 00:17:21,196
Thanks.
402
00:17:22,636 --> 00:17:23,136
It means a lot.
403
00:17:25,007 --> 00:17:26,033
- Hug?
- No.
404
00:17:26,785 --> 00:17:27,075
Okay.
405
00:17:28,801 --> 00:17:30,785
Why would you pass off
your interns?
406
00:17:31,075 --> 00:17:32,551
I just-- I can't deal
with them anymore.
407
00:17:32,763 --> 00:17:36,121
Really? Because I had an intern
just a couple of years back
408
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:37,790
that I hated.
409
00:17:38,059 --> 00:17:39,759
Honestly,
he was so maddening
410
00:17:40,962 --> 00:17:43,629
that my therapist put me
on a suicide/homicide watch.
411
00:17:44,634 --> 00:17:45,367
Do I know this intern?
412
00:17:46,770 --> 00:17:47,871
- Intimately.
- I figured.
413
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,069
This is a teaching hospital.
You have to teach.
414
00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:52,309
I know.
415
00:17:52,319 --> 00:17:56,021
I'm just-- I'm-- I'm so tired
of their attitude
416
00:17:56,021 --> 00:17:56,713
and I'm tired
of their ignorance.
417
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,507
It's the same thing
year after year.
418
00:17:59,629 --> 00:18:00,782
I'm just...
419
00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:02,290
Tired.
420
00:18:03,092 --> 00:18:04,093
Here comes the tongue-lashing.
421
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,651
Boy, I get that.
422
00:18:09,028 --> 00:18:10,530
Why do you think I've been
avoiding the new chief?
423
00:18:11,152 --> 00:18:14,714
Because if I do talk to her,
and she is indeed a jerk,
424
00:18:14,955 --> 00:18:17,393
then once again,
I'm gonna have to be that guy
425
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:20,254
who gets in her face
over every little injustice.
426
00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:23,550
But you wanna know something?
I'm tired, too.
427
00:18:24,487 --> 00:18:26,722
- So what do we do?
- I don't know.
428
00:18:27,761 --> 00:18:30,080
Oh, my God!
He's treating me like an equal.
429
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,711
Quick, do something equals do!
430
00:18:37,406 --> 00:18:38,729
Why would you do that?
431
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,596
I don't know.
I thought equals shared coffee.
432
00:18:41,389 --> 00:18:41,708
No.
433
00:18:42,677 --> 00:18:44,344
So this intern
that you mentioned...
434
00:18:44,914 --> 00:18:46,115
Earlier,
I'm sure eventually
435
00:18:46,249 --> 00:18:48,759
he turned into
a pretty amazing doctor.
436
00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:50,817
- Didn't he?
- Actually, it was a "she."
437
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:52,317
It wasn't me?
438
00:18:52,439 --> 00:18:55,132
No, no, it was you.
It was you.
439
00:18:55,776 --> 00:18:59,069
- Hey.
- We'll get there.
440
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,907
Okay, you get nice and comfy.
441
00:19:05,309 --> 00:19:07,960
Dr. Reid gave me
Mr. Hicks' test results,
442
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,495
but they're
locked in my briefcase,
443
00:19:09,805 --> 00:19:10,659
and I lost the key.
444
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:12,219
Allow me.
445
00:19:14,659 --> 00:19:15,392
Mm, loving this thing!
446
00:19:16,491 --> 00:19:17,492
And... Here it is.
447
00:19:17,929 --> 00:19:19,496
Hey, how come
all you have in here
448
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:21,902
is a smiley face button
and a revolver?
449
00:19:22,170 --> 00:19:24,371
Well, one's in case
I get sad,
450
00:19:25,974 --> 00:19:28,341
and the other one's
in case I get really sad.
451
00:19:29,313 --> 00:19:30,357
Well, see you tomorrow.
452
00:19:30,768 --> 00:19:31,364
We'll see.
453
00:19:34,677 --> 00:19:34,985
Ah.
454
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:38,325
Oh, Mr. Hicks'
cardiac test results.
455
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:39,827
- They're negative.
- Hmm.
456
00:19:39,837 --> 00:19:41,829
What do you know
about that?
457
00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:43,766
Just like the 100 other tests
we ordered
458
00:19:43,776 --> 00:19:46,169
for a man who's only complaint
was shortness of breath.
459
00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:48,805
I assume there's a nugget
of a point buried in there.
460
00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:51,038
Why you running that guy
through the wringer?
461
00:19:52,074 --> 00:19:53,774
Because he's got
awesome insurance.
462
00:19:54,312 --> 00:19:55,613
He's 100%
pure profit machine.
463
00:19:56,678 --> 00:19:58,817
Ca... And might I add...
Ching!
464
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,427
I mean, I may even order
an M.R.I
465
00:20:01,558 --> 00:20:03,152
just to see if he's actually
stuffed with money.
466
00:20:03,594 --> 00:20:05,926
In fact,
I think I'm ordering one.
467
00:20:06,086 --> 00:20:08,085
And since you cried about it,
why don't you
468
00:20:08,205 --> 00:20:10,162
take him to radiology
like a good little boy?
469
00:20:10,603 --> 00:20:12,036
[ Catch My Disease ]
My head is a box...
470
00:20:12,046 --> 00:20:14,440
Sometimes it really sucks
to do the right thing...
471
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:16,887
And that's the way I like it
472
00:20:17,931 --> 00:20:21,380
So, please...
473
00:20:21,792 --> 00:20:22,785
- You were right about me...
- Baby, please!
474
00:20:24,386 --> 00:20:24,753
And thanks.
475
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,117
Open your heart
476
00:20:27,481 --> 00:20:29,396
- Don't mention it.
- Love you.
477
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:30,896
- I love you, too.
- Catch my disease.
478
00:20:30,906 --> 00:20:34,001
Trying to teach
a bunch of jerks...
479
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:36,303
Okay, when dealing
with peripheral neuropathy,
480
00:20:36,538 --> 00:20:37,791
always think...
481
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,274
Diabetes first.
482
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:42,846
Or once again,
facing off with a jerk.
483
00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:46,243
Look, you can't just
bleed a guy's insurance dry
484
00:20:46,394 --> 00:20:48,211
just because you want to pay
for a new x-ray machine.
485
00:20:48,332 --> 00:20:51,827
Oh, will you shut up if I give you
a key that opens everything?
486
00:20:51,837 --> 00:20:54,821
The more things change,
the more they stay the same, huh?
487
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,101
Hi, folks!
488
00:20:56,136 --> 00:20:58,960
If you need anything cleaned up,
just give me a shout, okay?
489
00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:00,164
Sure.
490
00:21:00,402 --> 00:21:02,903
- Who the hell is that?
- I don't know.
491
00:21:03,085 --> 00:21:05,052
I like him.
492
00:21:06,859 --> 00:21:08,906
Interns, alright!
493
00:21:09,759 --> 00:21:10,899
You guys psyched?
It's our eighth year.
494
00:21:11,029 --> 00:21:13,563
- Who's with me?
- Yay.
495
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,565
Come on. I know it's tempting
to just mail it in,
496
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,568
but there's still
a lot of people
497
00:21:17,578 --> 00:21:19,667
who rely on us week to week.
I think we owe it to them
498
00:21:20,917 --> 00:21:23,142
to be as inspired as we were
in our first few years.
499
00:21:23,152 --> 00:21:25,002
Now I know we never do great
come medical awards season...
500
00:21:25,012 --> 00:21:28,563
Except for Dr. Shalhoub.
He wins everything.
501
00:21:28,773 --> 00:21:31,068
But I still think we're as good
as anybody else out there.
502
00:21:31,751 --> 00:21:33,134
The Nielsens'
certainly beg to differ.
503
00:21:36,066 --> 00:21:36,694
Oh, they're just upset
504
00:21:36,814 --> 00:21:38,369
'cause their insurance
won't cover a private room.
505
00:21:38,609 --> 00:21:40,013
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00:21:40,063 --> 00:21:44,613
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