All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation s03e08 Camping.eng

Gee wheeze, the Harvest Festival
was a real triumph.

We had over 80,000 people
in attendance.

Which surpassed our wildest
expectations.

I would like to specifically
single out Leslie Knope.

I speak for the Mayor,
City Council,

and all of Pawnee
when I say

we can't wait to see
what the heck

you're gonna do next.

Ugh.

Step on up here, Les.

Thank you.

Paul, are you okay?

Uh...

Oh! Oh!

- Oh, my God.
- Holy...

Oh, my God.

That was... the second
most awkward way

a man has ever
grabbed my breast.

Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

All right, guys,
everybody listen up.

Just a few notes about
our camping retreat tomorrow.

We're all gonna meet here
and leave as a group

at 6:45 A.M., promptly.

Why are we doing this?

Harvest fest is over.

We do not want to have
a sophomore slump.

This camping trip
is our chance

to think of some really
big ideas.

Why don't you just tell us
what our next project is,

and I'll go camping
by myself.

Look, I have ideas,
Ron, okay?

I have like a hundred new ideas.

But the point is,
the pressure is on.

We only have one chance
to make a second impression.

What portion of this camping
trip will take place outside?

- All of it.
- Pass.

Can't pass,
it's a mandatory work retreat.

I have a question.

What if we're
scaling a cliff

and I start to fall?

Can I grab onto your boob
for support?

No, Tom, don't!
Her boob kills!

My boob does not kill.
Paul did not die.

He had a heart attack which
required an octuple bypass.

Besides, the Pawnee Sun
said that my chest

saved his life.

How's the best municipal
department in Pawnee?

That's you guys?

Paul is going to be recuperating
for a while.

So the Mayor asked me
to step in as city manager.

And I, of course,
accepted immediately

because Pawnee is literally

the greatest town
in the country.

Of course, I am gonna miss
Indianapolis,

which is the most wonderful
city in America.

I'm so excited to be
working with you all again.

And, Leslie,
I cannot wait

to hear your new big idea.

I want to hit the ground
running,

and your new mystery project

is going to be
the hydration pack

that gets me
to the finish line.

You're all my little
hydration packs.

I'm sure I am not.

Ron!

You are too.

Hydration pack!

Hey, you gotta hear
this hilarious story

that he's telling me...
tell her what happened.

- My identity was stolen.
- His identity was stolen!

Tell her about the accounts.

They were frozen.

Frozen.

Bye, Kyle.

Where you going?

Oh, my God.

Heh.
How's the coolest chick ever?

Not good.

What do you mean?

Leslie's making us go
on a camping retreat.

That's awesome!
Camping's the best.

Camping sucks.

It's super-boring.

And you can see the stars,
which I hate.

They're creepy.

I love camping.

I betcha I could get you
to love it too.

Why don't I meet you
out there?

If you hate it, we'll leave
and go make out.

But if you love it,
we'll stay and make out.

Either way,
a ton of making out.

You in?

- Anne Perkins!
- Chris.

Hey.
I heard you were back.

Yeah.

I didn't do this
because of you.

Uh, well, it looks great.

Yeah, you look great.
Am I right? It's...

So good running into you.

You know, we should
get together soon.

I'd love to catch up.

Me too!

Ketchup and mustard.

Ketchup and mustard,
I just was...

Oh!

That is so delightful.

I relish your wit.

Well, I salsa...
your face.

I should hate him.

He broke up with me.

Well, there was an ex
that I still liked

after he broke up with me,

but it was really hard
to stay mad at him.

He was an amazing dentist.

You know, when he saw me,
I swear his face lit up.

- Ann...
- What do you think

"we should get together soon"
means?

No, do not read into this.

Remember, this is the guy
that was so upbeat and positive,

when he broke up with you,

you didn't even know
it happened.

Yeah.

Come camping with us.

It'll be really fun.
You'll be away from Chris.

You can brainstorm.

I'll give you first dibs
on s'mores.

Okay.
That sounds fun.

Here is our official
retreat schedule.

It divides our time evenly

between work and play.

Come on, everybody,
let's hustle.

Let's get
to the brainstorming.

Great attitude, Ron!

I just wanna get the work
over as soon as possible

so I can do some fishing.

Fishing relaxes me.

It's like yoga,

except I still get to kill
something.

All right, I...

Call this wonderful spot.

You didn't bring a tent?

I don't really go camping,
ever, Jerry,

so I'm not gonna spend
$150 on a tent.

Just gonna sleep
on the floor.

It's called the ground
when it's outside.

Whatever. Why?

Do you guys do this a lot?
Camping?

I've never been before,
but I think I'm gonna love it.

Why am I gonna love it?

Skymall!

Come check out my tent.

I ordered a bunch of crap
off Skymall.

I got my TV, my XBox, DVD.

Awesome bed right there.

DJ Rumba's in the mix.

Ah, it's like
I'm not even camping.

This is actually a dog couch,
but it's super comfortable.

It's really important to me
that April loves camping,

so I went ahead
and set up the ultimate

campsite love nest.

Complete with beautiful
starlight.

You got champagne.

Also, rose petals.

As you can see,
they smell terrific.

We need big ideas,
and we need 'em now.

Who wants to go first?

I propose that we take
all the money we made

from the Harvest Festival

and return it
to the citizens.

So how much would
that be per person?

About 83 cents.

Per household.

Before postage.

Are we done?

What do Jay-Z, Lil Wayne,

and Drake
all have in common?

Oh, I know this one.

They are all rap-pists.

Oh, my God,
they're Rappers, Jerry!

What they have in common
is none of them

have ever
performed in Pawnee.

Why?

Because we don't have

an adequate concert venue.

Until now.

The Pawnee Amphitheater!

How much would that cost?

Not that much.
$200, $300 million.

- Right.
- Great.

Luxury Dog Park.

Do you wanna
tell us anymore?

Poodles only.

No pooping.

Hey. Where are you?

I'm here.
Where are you?

We're inside
the main entrance.

Near the sign that says
Pawnee campground.

Oh...

I'm in a totally
different place.

That's why we can't
see each other.

My God, Andy.

I don't even
want to be here.

The air is too fresh.

It's disgusting.
I can't breathe.

There's a brook somewhere
that won't stop babbling.

Shut up!

Sweetheart,
just hold tight.

And, uh, I'll be there.

Well, April is right here.

And I...Am
down here somewhere.

How 'bout we just
invest the money?

Make 4% a year.

You know, set up a nice little
nest egg for the city.

What do you think?

Great idea.
Thanks, white Urkel.

All right, maybe it's not
the sexiest idea, Todd,

but it's smart.

What are you even
still doing here?

Harvest Festival is over.

Shouldn't you be back
in Indianapolis?

Ben helped us launch
the Harvest Festival,

and he knows how
Chris's mind works,

and he's a valuable asset
to the team.

Thank you.

April has not presented
her idea... April.

I didn't come up
with anything.

- Why?
- Because!

I know that whatever
we come up with

isn't gonna be
good enough anyway.

We're just gonna
go with your idea.

She's got a point.

Leslie, just tell us
what your idea is,

so I can go back
to the thunderdome.

That's what
I'm calling my tent.

I am really disappointed
in all of you.

You know, the whole town
is looking at us right now,

and you're
letting them down.

Take an hour,
go clear your heads,

and see if you can come up with
a real idea that we can use.

And also see
if you're interested

in contributing
to this department.

And after that,
I will tell you my idea.

Wow, you really
let 'em have it.

Well, I had no choice.

I didn't want to tell them
my idea.

Why not?

Because I don't have one.

I don't have an idea, Ann.

I'm so screwed, Ann.

The meeting is tomorrow and
I don't have anything.

Why don't you build the Park
on the lot behind my house?

Chris wants the new project
to generate revenue.

What about those binders
in your office?

They're filled
with small ideas!

We need a big, juicy idea.

I'm so desperate, I even
brought in my "Dream Journal",

hoping it would inspire me.

"I married Alf,
and we're pretty happy."

- Sounds nice.
- It was.

Okay, listen to me.

You are smart and creative

and talented,
and you're gonna be fine.

You're probably right.

I just need an hour, and...
and it'll come to me.

Hello?

Andy, you have to save me.

I'm camping with
people I work with.

Hello, April?

Hello?

Walk around in circles,
like I am,

help triangulate
the phone call.

Hello?

Hang on, I'm gonna try
to get to higher ground.

Agh!

Ow, I found some thorns.

I mean, yes,
my daughter might think

she is old enough to be sexually
active with her boyfriend.

But I'm sorry, 16.

That... that just seems too young
to be on birth control.

You know, I was 24
when Gayle took my virginity.

What's say we just
stand here

in silence.

And think of ideas...

for projects.

You know
what I should do?

I should lead
a teen abstinence workshop.

That might be
incredibly effective.

Hey, Tom.

One second, I'm just in
the middle of a head massage.

That's a good stopping point.

- What's up?
- Uh...

You wanna bounce some ideas
off each other?

Here's a better idea.

How 'bout I bounce my way
over to my dog couch

and watch a little season six
of Top Chef?

- All right.
- I know Leslie seems upset.

But the truth is, she's better
than us at this stuff

by a thousand miles.

So there's really no point.

Care for some fondue?

Yeah.

Hey, how do you
afford all this stuff?

I just return it
the next day

and claim it was defective.

The key is crying a lot.

No one likes to hear
a grown man cry.

And then my hand accidentally

went in the panini press!

Hey, you wanna
go for a walk?

Yeah.

Wow, the sky
is really beautiful.

It's pollution from
the sweetums factory.

It's gorgeous.

But is it worth the asthma?

No.

Ben, this new project idea,

it's not really a big deal.

I'm probably making
too much out of it.

No, no, no.
It's really big.

I mean, you've got
everyone's attention

with the Harvest Festival,

and now you're gonna
seal the deal.

It's the chance
you've been waiting for.

Well, what if the festival
was, like, a high point for me,

and I never do anything
better than that?

Then you wouldn't be
Leslie Knope.

So I have to keep thinking
about good ideas

all the time,
or I'm no longer myself?

No, no, no.
Not at all.

I... I've just honestly
never met someone

who works as hard
as you do.

I mean, you're like
the energizer bunny

of city government.

And when she looked
in the back of her car,

she saw that, even though
it was her own private property,

she would be forced
to take it in...

for a state inspection!

Okay, guys, listen up.

- What was that?
- That was me talking.

No, I heard it too.

Andy?

If that's a coyote,

someone needs to pick me up
off the ground, now.

Oh, my God! Oh, oh!

- Hey, guys.
- What are you doing here?

I was just out
for my nighttime run,

and I thought, "why not go
visit the Parks Department?"

How's everything going here?

Super great.
Really well.

We have a great idea.

Ooh, tell me now!

While I sit on this Boulder.

I'm much more receptive
to new ideas

when my heart rate
is still elevated.

Chris, do you want to maybe
just talk for a minute

and let them work.

Oh! Oh, sure.

What was that?
What was that?

Leslie, just tell us
your idea.

Los Angeles, season one,
isn't gonna watch itself.

Here it is.

What do you think?

I don't have an idea.
I'm sorry.

I thought if we all
worked really hard,

I-I could come up
with something.

But I don't have anything,

and we're totally screwed.

And what we need to do

is just keep working
and just work again, more,

and just do it and get it,

and then we got it
and we're good.

And go with that.

I think I'm gonna turn in.

You're not going anywhere.
No one's going anywhere.

No one's sleeping,

because this
is an all-nighter.

And that'll be fun.

We'll all stay up,
and then I'll be like,

"hey! No one sleep!"

Do you hear how loud that is?

You're not sleeping
through that.

Is there anything else
to eat?

The marshmallows
are all gone.

We have nothing to eat.

Jerry scared
all the fish away

with his loud
personal stories.

Uck, I wanna go home.

I miss my canopy bed.

Yeah, I'm fine
with not camping.

Especially since my stupid
boyfriend abandoned me!

I'll fire up the van.

You know, I've never
moved this slowly before.

It's almost like
being in quicksand.

Hey, um, listen...

When you dumped me,

it was really embarrassing.

You just kind of...
took off.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I mean, I never meant
to hurt you.

And, well, um,
I'm back now.

Hey, I have a great idea.

Why don't we go to this
rustic Diner that I know?

We can have
egg white omelets,

and we can continue
to talk about us.

Sounds good.

No, no.

Chocolate or butterscotch?

Uh, swirl me.

Dude, camping is awesome.

I love it.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

How long have you been
running power to this tent?

I don't know.
How long have we been here?

Ten hours.

No! I was Tivoing
Cupcake Wars.

This is ridiculous!

Look, I am used
to a certain level

of comfort in my life,

and I didn't want
to sacrifice that!

Okay, well, I packed
everything up,

so now you're telling me
I have to go unpack it.

Guys, this is a sign.

You wanted to leave,

and now you're stuck here
with me!

So we can work all night!

This is gonna be
so much fun!

All night work!

All night work!

All night work!

You know what?

There's a Bed & Breakfast
right up the road.

I'm gonna head there.

Yes! Let's keep
brainstorming.

I have a good feeling
about this B&B.

One day, there's gonna
be a plaque there that reads,

"this is where Leslie Knope

"came up with
the amazing idea for..."

Damn, I thought
that would work.

Welcome to
"The Quiet Corn".

I'm Elsa Clack.

Breakfast is served
between 5:30

and 6:15 A.M.

What if we sleep
to a normal hour?

Well, that would be
very rude of you.

May I take
your breakfast order?

We have hardboiled eggs,

homemade tomato slices
with dry seed and leek jam,

and your choice
of german muffin.

What the
Is a german muffin?

Oh, good lord.

I call the bed!

Ah.

Awesome.

I hate this place.

This place is the exact opposite
of Skymall.

Oh, listen to this.

"Dear Quiet Corn,

"thank you for
your beautiful Inn.

"My wife and I spent
three nights of ecstasy

in this room."

Ugh!

Gyash!

There are no TVs anywhere.

This place is lamer
than outside.

I'm chillin'.

What is that?

Jim.

Oh, my God.

I found you!

where have you been?

I told you I was gonna
take you campin', didn't I?

Yeah.

Well, I'm taking you campin'.
Look at this.

This is what I had set up
at the other campsite.

Except for it
was way nicer there.

But this'll do.
I've got some champagne.

And I had to drink
most of it to survive.

So I'm kind of buzzed
right now.

I'm just glad you're here.

Can we make out now?

No, you have to understand

that at the time,
I genuinely thought

that you and I would never
see each other again.

I completely understand.

Well, that's what
makes you so amazing.

- No.
- Ann Perkins...

Amazing.

Oh, no.

Oh, no?

Oh, no.

No, no, no.
I wasn't saying that...

I thought we should
get back together again.

But you said that...

You indicated...

Oh, my God,
this is happening again.

I have to move, right?

Yeah.

I'm gonna leave the country.

Bye, everybody.
Bye.

Hey.

Hey. Couldn't sleep?

No. My room is filled
with cat hair and cat smell.

And actual cats,
roughly 12 cats.

Hmm, sounds delightful.

Leslie, what are you doing?

I am listening to
Steal my Sunshine by Len.

A one-hit wonder, like me.

You're not
a one-hit wonder.

Well, I will be.

I peaked at
the Harvest Festival, Ron.

Years from now,
people are gonna say,

"Remember that woman
who came up with

"the Harvest Festival idea
and never came up

"with another idea again?

"What happened to her?
What was her name?

"Kim? Anyway, who cares?

"She's stupid,
and she's dead now."

For the first time ever,

the Parks Department
has real momentum,

and I'm gonna ruin it
for everybody.

You've done more
for this group of people

than anyone else.

You're the only reason we all
still have jobs.

I think we'll be okay.

Yeah, okay, well, I would
love to chit-chat about this,

but I need
to keep working, okay?

And keep pushing so that
my breakthrough will happen,

and I will be ready for it.

You know what?

I just had an idea
for a new project.

- Really?
- Yes.

Yes, I think... I think
this could be really good.

What is it?

Come with me.

Right through here.

Wait, what's happening?

Aah! Ron!

Ron, what are you doing?

This is my idea.

You're gonna shut your brain
down and go to sleep,

and I'm gonna stay out here
and guard the door

- so you can't leave.
- No! Ron!

You've been
thinking about work

non-stop for years!

It's time to rest!

All my binders
are downstairs!

Shh!

All due respect,
Ms. Clack,

stick a german muffin in it.

Fair enough.
I'm just gonna go to bed.

Just call it a night.

I already checked, Leslie.

The transom is painted shut.

Damn it!

Oh, my God, there's, like,
50 cats in here.

Where's Leslie?

Not 100% sure.

Should we reschedule or...

nope, she'll be here.

Good morning!

So I just slept seven hours,

which is twice as long
as I usually sleep,

so I'm a little disoriented.

But I did wake up
with a million ideas,

and Ron would not
let me have any paper,

so I had to write them down
on this doily.

We should buy a telescope
and make the old ranger station

in Ramsett Park
an Observatory.

That way,
we could sell tickets

and have class trips.

- I like it! We'll...
- Good!

Then have theme night
at the Park.

We could have singles,
um, date night,

uh, seniors, and we could
have a citywide yard sale,

which would be part auction,
part Antiques Road Show.

And then we could have

the professors from
the Community College

come in and assign value
to the objects.

And then we could split
the profits for the school.

It'd be a lot of fun.

I'll see you boys later.

Bye, Ron!

They say you're only as good
as your last idea.

I say you're only as good
as the people you work with.

Leslie Knope is back.

Ha ha!

Oh, my God,
my breath is so bad.

Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

Yeah, she died, like,
20 minutes after that.

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