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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:25,297 --> 00:00:27,512 I love NPR. 3 00:00:35,755 --> 00:00:38,220 Look at this guy. Hey, buddy. 4 00:00:38,262 --> 00:00:40,894 That's not really called for. 5 00:00:43,133 --> 00:00:45,324 I'm not gonna race you, bro. 6 00:00:45,357 --> 00:00:47,674 What? Come on, bro, are you scared? 7 00:00:47,707 --> 00:00:49,553 Nope. I have no intentions upon breaking the law today. 8 00:00:49,586 --> 00:00:51,889 Aw, you're not gonna break the law? 9 00:00:51,922 --> 00:00:54,859 Aww. Hey, buddy. Check it out. 10 00:00:54,932 --> 00:00:57,198 Oh, real nice. Put that badonkadonk away. 11 00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,275 That does not make me wanna race you. 12 00:01:06,572 --> 00:01:08,075 Faggot! 13 00:01:12,046 --> 00:01:15,291 I'm not... a homosexual person. 14 00:01:15,324 --> 00:01:17,533 You are. 15 00:01:17,566 --> 00:01:24,637 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 16 00:01:24,757 --> 00:01:26,158 All right, sir. Well, this here is saying 17 00:01:26,191 --> 00:01:28,129 that you are declining the insurance. 18 00:01:28,162 --> 00:01:29,329 Not interested in GPS, 19 00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:31,603 you obviously know where you're going. 20 00:01:31,931 --> 00:01:34,069 Just sign right there. You will be good to go. 21 00:01:34,142 --> 00:01:36,842 I gotta ask, man. You look real familiar to me. 22 00:01:36,883 --> 00:01:38,114 We don't know each other. Just go ahead and... 23 00:01:38,147 --> 00:01:40,018 You used to play baseball, didn't you? 24 00:01:40,051 --> 00:01:41,618 Once upon a time, yes, I did. 25 00:01:41,651 --> 00:01:43,588 Yeah, man. Ah... hey, baby... 26 00:01:43,621 --> 00:01:44,727 Can I get a picture? 27 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,729 Actually, you know what, sir, 28 00:01:45,762 --> 00:01:47,636 I don't do that kind of stuff anymore. 29 00:01:47,669 --> 00:01:49,813 I walked away from celebrity a long time ago 30 00:01:49,846 --> 00:01:51,512 and I no longer take pictures, so... 31 00:01:51,553 --> 00:01:52,989 Part of my life is over. 32 00:01:53,022 --> 00:01:54,557 So you gonna big time us now? 33 00:01:54,590 --> 00:01:57,191 We just rented a car from you. We're paying customers. 34 00:01:57,232 --> 00:01:59,804 Yeah, I know. You're paying for the rental of a Ford Focus, 35 00:01:59,837 --> 00:02:00,742 Not for a picture of a man. 36 00:02:00,775 --> 00:02:02,273 Oh, whatever. Be a dick about it. 37 00:02:02,314 --> 00:02:03,919 You should be glad somebody wanna take a picture 38 00:02:03,952 --> 00:02:06,627 - with your washed up ass. - Hey, Ken. How we doing? 39 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,995 - Everything cool here? - Yeah. 40 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,492 No. I just asked him for a picture 41 00:02:09,533 --> 00:02:10,796 and he got all weird and uppity and shit. 42 00:02:10,829 --> 00:02:12,397 I wasn't being uppity. 43 00:02:12,430 --> 00:02:14,270 Ooh, Ken. 44 00:02:14,303 --> 00:02:16,839 Ken would be happy to give you a photograph, sir. 45 00:02:16,872 --> 00:02:18,376 Just let me see your phone and I'll take a picture. 46 00:02:18,409 --> 00:02:20,213 Yeah, I mean, he made it like it was a big deal 47 00:02:20,246 --> 00:02:21,886 - and everything. - I'll bet he did. 48 00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:23,550 That's our Ken. 49 00:02:23,583 --> 00:02:26,654 Come on around, Ken. Step on in. Scooch in there. 50 00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:28,760 Get in there. Why don't everybody squeeze in there 51 00:02:28,793 --> 00:02:30,065 and make a Ken sammich. 52 00:02:30,098 --> 00:02:31,659 Good composition. Now let's see a smile. 53 00:02:31,666 --> 00:02:33,836 - Just take the picture, Mark. - Just smile. 54 00:02:33,869 --> 00:02:36,111 OK. You're doing something weird with your eyebrows. 55 00:02:36,144 --> 00:02:37,313 I don't even know. 56 00:02:37,346 --> 00:02:38,913 Right. That'll do. 57 00:02:38,946 --> 00:02:41,081 That's it. That's the one. 58 00:02:41,114 --> 00:02:43,153 There you go. There's your happy memory, sir. 59 00:02:43,186 --> 00:02:45,186 Thank you for choosing Millenial Rent-A-Car. 60 00:02:45,219 --> 00:02:47,925 - I'll be back. - Yeah, you will. 61 00:02:47,958 --> 00:02:49,725 Ken, let me talk to you for a second. 62 00:02:49,759 --> 00:02:53,233 You gotta do the dance for the customer. 63 00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:55,675 All right, cool? 64 00:02:57,247 --> 00:02:58,786 Mark, please... Mark, stop. 65 00:02:58,851 --> 00:03:01,285 OK. You got me, I'm knocked out. 66 00:03:01,326 --> 00:03:03,093 Mark, stop it. 67 00:03:03,126 --> 00:03:04,758 Mark. OK, boom, you got me. 68 00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:06,663 I got beat up, OK. 69 00:03:06,696 --> 00:03:08,601 Mark, I'm not doing the "ror-ros". 70 00:03:08,634 --> 00:03:12,481 - Come on, rrrr... - Rrrr. OK. 71 00:03:12,514 --> 00:03:13,851 Seriously, can you please stop punching me? 72 00:03:13,884 --> 00:03:16,284 All right, all right. I'll tell you what. 73 00:03:16,317 --> 00:03:17,684 I'm gonna take over here, what I'm gonna have you do 74 00:03:17,725 --> 00:03:19,957 is go ahead and wash down a few of the fleet just come in. 75 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,494 You know I've had a full dance card all morning. 76 00:03:21,527 --> 00:03:22,898 I mean, this shit can't wait till after lunch? 77 00:03:22,931 --> 00:03:26,439 No. No, better go ahead and do it now. 78 00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:29,450 Just, I had made a sandwich that I enj... was hoping to... 79 00:03:29,483 --> 00:03:32,083 Forget it. I'll wash the cars. Thank you, Mark. 80 00:03:33,316 --> 00:03:35,888 This is a story of a man who won. 81 00:03:35,929 --> 00:03:39,364 By choosing love over fame, fortune 82 00:03:39,397 --> 00:03:41,636 and countless adventures... 83 00:03:41,669 --> 00:03:44,341 ...I had proven that my heart was true. 84 00:03:44,374 --> 00:03:46,277 I had proven that I was a man 85 00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:48,110 - who could face any peril. 86 00:03:48,143 --> 00:03:51,312 Hey! Hey! Hey! 87 00:03:51,353 --> 00:03:53,322 And fucking crush it in the name of love. 88 00:03:53,355 --> 00:03:55,060 You fucking son of a bitch! 89 00:03:55,093 --> 00:03:56,726 When I rolled back the stone 90 00:03:56,759 --> 00:03:59,166 and rose like the mighty phoenix... 91 00:04:00,662 --> 00:04:02,267 ...there were some who couldn't process 92 00:04:02,301 --> 00:04:04,596 the majesty of the event. 93 00:04:06,438 --> 00:04:08,438 And there were some that decided to trump up 94 00:04:08,471 --> 00:04:10,481 bullshit fraudulent life insurance claim 95 00:04:10,514 --> 00:04:13,220 charges against me. But I couldn't be phased. 96 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,188 And, ultimately, I was rewarded 97 00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:18,557 with the hand of my true love in matrimony. 98 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:22,797 I was rewarded with the birth of a gorgeous daughter. 99 00:04:22,831 --> 00:04:26,398 And life began to take on a beautiful rhythm. 100 00:04:28,199 --> 00:04:31,604 In the end, Kenny Powers didn't get what he wanted. 101 00:04:31,702 --> 00:04:33,971 But he got what he needed. 102 00:04:34,004 --> 00:04:38,612 He didn't win baseball, but he did win life. 103 00:04:40,142 --> 00:04:41,949 The end. 104 00:04:46,451 --> 00:04:51,319 Credits roll. Besides them, on-set bloopers play 105 00:04:51,352 --> 00:04:53,625 in a small box. 106 00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:56,196 Hilarious. 107 00:04:59,628 --> 00:05:02,298 Please finish your juice. 108 00:05:02,331 --> 00:05:04,099 Just finished my feature. 109 00:05:04,132 --> 00:05:05,939 What's a feature, Daddy? 110 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,205 A feature is Hollywood industry jargon for a screenplay. 111 00:05:09,246 --> 00:05:10,774 You know what motion pictures are? 112 00:05:10,815 --> 00:05:13,712 - Human Centipede. - Human Centipede. Yes, Shayna. 113 00:05:13,753 --> 00:05:14,878 You remember when we watched that film? 114 00:05:14,919 --> 00:05:16,212 They ate the poo-poo. 115 00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,010 That's right, they did eat the poo-poo. 116 00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:19,513 And you know what? Those people didn't just 117 00:05:19,546 --> 00:05:20,586 make that up on their own. 118 00:05:20,618 --> 00:05:22,683 Someone had to write that they ate poo-poo. 119 00:05:22,724 --> 00:05:24,653 That's what a feature is. That's what a screenplay is. 120 00:05:24,694 --> 00:05:25,790 That's what your dad just did. 121 00:05:25,823 --> 00:05:28,296 - That movie's gross. - Whoa, big surprise. 122 00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,968 My son got scared by a horror film. 123 00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:31,832 Shayna didn't have a problem with it. 124 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,200 Shayna, you like when they eat the caca, right? 125 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,640 I love you. Look at you. Eating all your carrots. Gone. 126 00:05:35,673 --> 00:05:38,011 Toby's got a goddamn farmer's market on his plate over there. 127 00:05:38,044 --> 00:05:39,213 Toby, eat your fucking carrots. 128 00:05:39,246 --> 00:05:42,949 OK, OK. Kenny, what is this from the bank? 129 00:05:42,982 --> 00:05:47,155 - Did you apply for a loan? - Oh. Yeah, word. 130 00:05:47,188 --> 00:05:48,954 Yeah, yeah. This is the loan I applied for. 131 00:05:48,987 --> 00:05:51,754 For the, uh, backyard swimming pool. 132 00:05:51,787 --> 00:05:53,661 We don't have money for a pool. 133 00:05:53,694 --> 00:05:55,599 That's why I applied for a loan. 134 00:05:55,632 --> 00:05:59,037 OK. You know what, I have been running around all day 135 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:01,837 and we have our friends coming in just a little bit. 136 00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:03,605 Could you please put them to bed? 137 00:06:03,638 --> 00:06:05,468 You know, actually, I was gonna go upstairs 138 00:06:05,509 --> 00:06:07,444 and try to put a really tight playlist together 139 00:06:07,477 --> 00:06:09,372 for us to like, chill to tonight when we have this dinner party. 140 00:06:09,413 --> 00:06:12,244 Right. I-I... yeah. 141 00:06:12,277 --> 00:06:14,014 Um, they're the priority. 142 00:06:14,047 --> 00:06:16,952 - So I really need your help. - I know. Just, like... 143 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:20,057 Super tight playlist could just really set the night off right. 144 00:06:22,458 --> 00:06:25,099 OK. Yeah, cool. We don't need a playlist. 145 00:06:25,132 --> 00:06:28,469 I'll just put the Saturday chillax-relaxation mix on. 146 00:06:28,502 --> 00:06:32,249 That should probably translate nicely. Perfect. 147 00:06:32,282 --> 00:06:34,848 I love you. I love you so much. 148 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,310 I love you. 149 00:06:39,586 --> 00:06:41,893 I need you to finish up your juice. 150 00:06:47,765 --> 00:06:50,766 - Wha... What happened? - Hm? 151 00:06:50,807 --> 00:06:54,971 Oh, that vase fell. Now I'm just trying to find the nightly news. 152 00:07:03,317 --> 00:07:06,117 So I had my testosterone levels checked the other day, 153 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:08,555 a couple weeks ago and they were very low. 154 00:07:08,588 --> 00:07:09,881 As I kind of figured they were. 155 00:07:09,921 --> 00:07:12,887 But the doctor got me on this application. 156 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,751 - It's like a deodorant. - That's terrific. 157 00:07:14,784 --> 00:07:16,087 - You just roll it on? - Yeah. 158 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,428 It gets me into a position mentally and hormonally 159 00:07:19,456 --> 00:07:22,190 to a place where I am attracted to my wife. 160 00:07:22,231 --> 00:07:23,994 Before it was like I couldn't even get near him. 161 00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:25,992 I would wear basically nothing. 162 00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:27,393 And he wouldn't even look my way. 163 00:07:27,426 --> 00:07:30,436 And now it's great. We're very healthy, sexually, 164 00:07:30,469 --> 00:07:32,630 - and, yeah, wonderful. - A little too healthy. 165 00:07:32,639 --> 00:07:34,572 Fascinating. 166 00:07:34,605 --> 00:07:36,305 - Mm-hmm. - April, I heard 167 00:07:36,338 --> 00:07:38,472 you're being honored. Is that true? 168 00:07:38,505 --> 00:07:40,937 - It's really nothing. - What is it? Tell us about it. 169 00:07:40,978 --> 00:07:42,979 It's... it's this silly award 170 00:07:43,012 --> 00:07:46,086 because I just sold the most houses, um, this year. 171 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,424 - Wow. - That's amazing. That's huge. 172 00:07:48,457 --> 00:07:50,623 - Yeah. - No. 173 00:07:50,656 --> 00:07:52,525 Well, I mean, it's not like she sold the most houses 174 00:07:52,558 --> 00:07:54,588 in the whole country, it's just in the region 175 00:07:54,629 --> 00:07:58,768 or at her job in this office, not really all the offices. 176 00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:00,171 Yeah, I mean, just the region. 177 00:08:00,204 --> 00:08:02,338 Big region. It's a buyers market, though. 178 00:08:02,371 --> 00:08:04,010 - Yeah. True. - Well, some say. 179 00:08:04,043 --> 00:08:05,778 Some say that the bubble's already burst 180 00:08:05,811 --> 00:08:07,977 and that it's going the other way, too, so who knows. 181 00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:09,312 Who says that? 182 00:08:09,345 --> 00:08:11,208 Just the economic reports that I've been reading. 183 00:08:11,249 --> 00:08:12,616 Happen to be talking about... 184 00:08:12,649 --> 00:08:14,583 - That... just don't be so cocky... - OK. 185 00:08:14,616 --> 00:08:17,449 ...with houses, because it could all turn around at any moment. 186 00:08:17,487 --> 00:08:18,813 - Yeah. - That's what I've learned. 187 00:08:18,854 --> 00:08:21,748 Oh, my gosh. Having a wife that's so successful... 188 00:08:21,789 --> 00:08:25,023 I mean, most men would be like, "I can't handle it." 189 00:08:25,096 --> 00:08:26,663 I know this one would be terrible. 190 00:08:26,696 --> 00:08:28,537 Look at the look in his eyes. Look in his eyes. 191 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:32,600 Yeah, I'll do the work, you, you know, clean up. 192 00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:35,371 Oh, he's so supportive. I mean, he really is. 193 00:08:35,404 --> 00:08:37,878 - Oh, so sweet, Kenny. - You're like a nice big bra. 194 00:08:38,911 --> 00:08:40,918 You are not. 195 00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:42,415 I shouldn't tell jokes, I'm not the jokester. 196 00:08:42,448 --> 00:08:43,952 - He is. - I'm the joke man. 197 00:08:43,985 --> 00:08:46,626 - He does impressions. - Oh, I love your impressions. 198 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,132 - Do one for us. - Do my mother. Do my mother. 199 00:08:49,165 --> 00:08:50,899 Oh, it's so funny if you know her. 200 00:08:50,932 --> 00:08:52,793 You better watch yourself. 201 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,433 You're spending too much money on that house. 202 00:08:58,466 --> 00:09:01,043 It's exact. 203 00:09:01,076 --> 00:09:02,307 Well, you know what? I can do impressions too. 204 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,242 This is your guys kid, the one you guys adopted. 205 00:09:04,275 --> 00:09:05,713 This is him. 206 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,711 Hey, you guys don't look like my parents. 207 00:09:08,744 --> 00:09:11,479 Where are my parents? Where'd my mom and dad go? 208 00:09:11,512 --> 00:09:13,450 Right? This is funny. This is your guys' kid. 209 00:09:13,483 --> 00:09:16,260 I wish you guys woulda left me in Vietnam in the foxhole 210 00:09:16,293 --> 00:09:17,827 - instead of taking me here - That's enough. 211 00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:20,290 - to be around everyone else... - Kenny, that's enough. 212 00:09:20,323 --> 00:09:21,490 - Yes. - That's enough. 213 00:09:57,550 --> 00:09:59,389 Muggy out, isn't it? 214 00:09:59,422 --> 00:10:01,357 Hey, once you're done in here, 215 00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:03,356 I need you to drop a Benz in Charlotte. 216 00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:05,789 Oh, man. I'm gonna get butt-fucked in traffic, dude. 217 00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:07,662 Charlotte on rush hour on a Wednesday? 218 00:10:07,695 --> 00:10:09,000 Ask Derrick to do it. 219 00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:11,065 I ain't asking anybody. I'm telling you, Ken. 220 00:10:11,106 --> 00:10:13,074 Man, I was hoping to get off early tonight, 221 00:10:13,107 --> 00:10:14,337 my wife's getting honored at an event. 222 00:10:19,472 --> 00:10:21,647 Ken. 223 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,015 - Yes, Mark. - Ken. 224 00:10:23,048 --> 00:10:24,614 - What? - You happen to know 225 00:10:24,647 --> 00:10:27,076 who mushed the donuts I brought in today? 226 00:10:27,117 --> 00:10:28,515 I mean, I broke a piece off. 227 00:10:28,548 --> 00:10:30,068 I wasn't trying to eat the whole thing. 228 00:10:30,081 --> 00:10:32,914 No. I'm not talking about breaking a piece off. 229 00:10:32,947 --> 00:10:36,092 I'm talking about somebody who went in and methodically 230 00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:37,957 mushed the donuts. 231 00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:41,089 It's not like a donut got mushed accidental. 232 00:10:41,122 --> 00:10:43,656 It was definitely intentional mushing the donuts. 233 00:10:43,697 --> 00:10:45,865 Well, no. I didn't... Why am I gonna mush donuts? 234 00:10:45,899 --> 00:10:47,129 I don't give a shit about donuts. 235 00:10:47,162 --> 00:10:48,728 Well, you broke a piece off. 236 00:10:48,769 --> 00:10:49,863 Well, but that's just because I'm trying to watch my weight 237 00:10:49,896 --> 00:10:51,599 I wasn't trying to eat the whole thing. 238 00:10:51,632 --> 00:10:53,568 Maybe some people in this job just don't wanna come in here 239 00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:56,306 and be seeing little gifts just that don't mean nothing. 240 00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:58,476 That's peace offerings, man. 241 00:10:58,509 --> 00:10:59,949 Why... why does there have to even be a peace offering? 242 00:10:59,984 --> 00:11:01,349 Maybe if people just treated people right around here 243 00:11:01,382 --> 00:11:03,578 people wouldn't be trying to have to give peace offerings. 244 00:11:03,618 --> 00:11:05,249 What are you trying to tell me, Ken? 245 00:11:05,315 --> 00:11:06,314 What are you trying to ask me? 246 00:11:06,355 --> 00:11:07,754 I'm asking if you know who mushed the donuts 247 00:11:07,787 --> 00:11:08,986 - I brought in. - And what'd I tell you? 248 00:11:09,019 --> 00:11:10,923 I said no. I said I broke a piece off. 249 00:11:10,956 --> 00:11:12,229 I'm trying to watch my figure. 250 00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:15,733 If you do hear anything, let me know. 251 00:11:15,766 --> 00:11:18,531 Yeah. Good luck with your investigation, inspector. 252 00:11:40,518 --> 00:11:41,715 You know I'm not gonna steal anything. 253 00:11:41,748 --> 00:11:43,177 You don't really have to wait out here with me. 254 00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:44,280 I'll be the judge of that. 255 00:11:44,313 --> 00:11:47,678 All right. 256 00:11:50,582 --> 00:11:52,052 There he is, come on. 257 00:11:52,085 --> 00:11:53,084 Hey. 258 00:11:53,117 --> 00:11:54,788 - Ah, shit. - Hey, how are you? 259 00:11:54,821 --> 00:11:56,741 Is there any way we can just sign this back here? 260 00:11:56,754 --> 00:11:58,319 No. Come on. 261 00:11:58,352 --> 00:12:00,783 Anna, what a pretty name. 262 00:12:01,953 --> 00:12:03,287 Kenny Powers. 263 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:04,455 Guy Young. 264 00:12:04,488 --> 00:12:06,293 - Kenny fucking Powers. - Hey. 265 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,355 - What's up, champion? - What's happening, man? 266 00:12:08,388 --> 00:12:09,754 - How you doing? - My old teammate, my God. 267 00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,023 - Yeah. - What's it been, 268 00:12:11,056 --> 00:12:13,056 - like, 15 years? - Yeah, at least 15. 269 00:12:13,097 --> 00:12:14,961 - Not since Atlanta. - Hotlanta, right? 270 00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:17,000 Mos def, mos def. 271 00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:19,030 I saw this guy fucking drink firewater 272 00:12:19,063 --> 00:12:20,829 - out of a hooker's pussy. - Yeah. 273 00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:21,994 - That's right. - No joke. 274 00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:23,465 - I forgot about that. - Right out of her pussy. 275 00:12:23,498 --> 00:12:24,697 - And then you fucked her. - And then I fucked her, yeah. 276 00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:25,801 Made my dick sting a little, 277 00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:28,171 because of the firewater. 278 00:12:28,204 --> 00:12:30,002 - We were crazy back then, huh? - I know. 279 00:12:30,035 --> 00:12:31,035 So what's happening here? 280 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,039 You guys making a movie or something? 281 00:12:32,072 --> 00:12:33,670 No, no. We're not making a movie. 282 00:12:33,703 --> 00:12:35,402 I'm not a movie star. We're making a TV show. 283 00:12:35,435 --> 00:12:36,666 I'm a TV star. 284 00:12:36,707 --> 00:12:39,074 - I do Sports Sesh over here. - Oh, yeah. There's... 285 00:12:39,107 --> 00:12:41,305 - Wow. That's cool. - It's a sports show. 286 00:12:41,338 --> 00:12:42,659 I'm not familiar with the program. 287 00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:44,639 I don't really keep up with the sporting world anymore. 288 00:12:44,672 --> 00:12:45,678 Hey. You got five minutes? 289 00:12:45,711 --> 00:12:47,507 I can give you a Guy Young VIP tour. 290 00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:49,274 - Actually, I gotta... - He's dropping off 291 00:12:49,307 --> 00:12:50,306 your rental car, Mr. Guy Young. 292 00:12:50,339 --> 00:12:52,179 What do you... what are you... 293 00:12:52,214 --> 00:12:53,379 Why? You rent cars now? 294 00:12:53,412 --> 00:12:56,283 Uh, well, actually, kind of more or less the CEO 295 00:12:56,316 --> 00:12:57,683 of like a rental car corporation. 296 00:12:57,716 --> 00:12:59,786 Don't you have some paperwork for him to sign? 297 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,088 Uh, yes, Miss Pleasant, I do. 298 00:13:03,121 --> 00:13:06,088 Uh... so here's the forms. 299 00:13:06,122 --> 00:13:08,561 This is the other Kenny, he's my assistant manager. 300 00:13:08,594 --> 00:13:10,263 So sign that, right there's cool. 301 00:13:10,296 --> 00:13:12,492 - You also are gonna sign there. - Right here? 302 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,394 You gotta say that the gas tank is full 303 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:15,490 and if you don't bring it back full then we will 304 00:13:15,531 --> 00:13:17,562 - charge you for it. - Yeah, I usually 305 00:13:17,595 --> 00:13:19,930 - return it empty. - OK. Suit yourself. 306 00:13:19,963 --> 00:13:21,834 TV star. Doesn't have to worry about gas. 307 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,804 There's your car. 308 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,309 Thank you, buddy. Hey, Kenny, before you go, 309 00:13:25,342 --> 00:13:28,243 I'm hosting this, um... charity event 310 00:13:28,276 --> 00:13:30,105 at the Ballantyne Hotel Friday night. 311 00:13:30,138 --> 00:13:31,744 It's a little upscale, a little fancy. 312 00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:33,513 Not your cup of tea but right afterwards 313 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,917 there's an after-party. It's gonna be off the fucking hook. 314 00:13:35,950 --> 00:13:37,788 I'm gonna bring some of my guys from the show. 315 00:13:37,821 --> 00:13:39,252 We hit a little pinch of vintage Kenny P. 316 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,451 and it'll be 1998 all over again. 317 00:13:41,484 --> 00:13:42,691 - What do you say? - Yeah. 318 00:13:42,724 --> 00:13:44,387 That does sound like a good time, Guy, 319 00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:47,122 but, uh, walked away from the party scene a few years ago. 320 00:13:47,163 --> 00:13:49,289 - I'm a family man now. - Get the fuck out of here. 321 00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:50,595 - Back up. - No, it's true. 322 00:13:50,625 --> 00:13:52,862 I'm... love my family. I don't party anymore. 323 00:13:52,895 --> 00:13:54,726 Get out of here. Shut up. 324 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,462 The only drug I get off on is my wife and kids 325 00:13:56,495 --> 00:13:58,901 and I get fucked up on them every single night. 326 00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:01,364 What? I feel like I'm looking at a dead man. 327 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:04,140 I did die, and then I was born again 328 00:14:04,173 --> 00:14:05,668 as a family man. 329 00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:07,436 Well, as long as you're happy, Kenny. 330 00:14:07,477 --> 00:14:09,538 Thrilled. Never been happier. 331 00:14:09,571 --> 00:14:10,904 Hey, get back to work, all right? 332 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,175 - You too. - Listen, 333 00:14:12,208 --> 00:14:13,472 maybe I'll put you on the list, 334 00:14:13,513 --> 00:14:14,681 just in case you change your mind. 335 00:14:14,714 --> 00:14:16,648 I wouldn't bother. I got a corporate takeover 336 00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,601 I have to oversee, so I'm not gonna be able to... 337 00:14:18,616 --> 00:14:20,416 I'm gonna put you on the list anyway. 338 00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:22,184 - Good to see you, Guy. - Good seeing you. 339 00:14:22,223 --> 00:14:23,888 - Take care of yourself. - Who wants an autograph? 340 00:14:24,921 --> 00:14:27,224 Her charm, her work ethic 341 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:30,561 and her tireless spirit make April the best agent 342 00:14:30,594 --> 00:14:33,593 I've ever worked with. I'd truly be lost without her. 343 00:14:33,631 --> 00:14:36,363 So, without further ado, 344 00:14:36,396 --> 00:14:40,667 our MVP, the one and only... 345 00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:41,835 ...April Powers. 346 00:14:44,974 --> 00:14:47,973 You like me, you really like me. 347 00:14:49,406 --> 00:14:52,549 Well, first off, I just wanna thank everyone that I work with. 348 00:14:52,646 --> 00:14:55,116 You have been so good to me. 349 00:14:55,149 --> 00:14:58,512 You have taught me the tools that I have needed to succeed. 350 00:14:58,545 --> 00:15:03,251 But most of all, I wanna thank my husband, Kenny, 351 00:15:03,292 --> 00:15:07,397 who has always been so supportive of me no matter what. 352 00:15:12,025 --> 00:15:14,929 When I've been working late, you know, he takes care of the kids, 353 00:15:14,962 --> 00:15:17,130 cleaning the poopy diapers... 354 00:15:17,171 --> 00:15:19,106 ...singing lullabies. 355 00:15:19,139 --> 00:15:23,073 Cooking for them. He has become quite the little cook. 356 00:15:24,873 --> 00:15:27,144 Also, when it's just been a rough day, 357 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:30,208 I'm excited to go home because I know that there is a back rub 358 00:15:30,249 --> 00:15:32,313 and a bubble bath waiting for me. 359 00:15:32,346 --> 00:15:35,354 Aww. 360 00:15:35,387 --> 00:15:40,289 So thank you for standing right behind me. 361 00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:44,626 You truly are my wonderful husband. 362 00:16:01,718 --> 00:16:02,813 Fuck! 363 00:16:04,319 --> 00:16:06,056 Shit! Fuck you! 364 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,163 Cunt! Shit! 365 00:16:08,196 --> 00:16:10,533 Shit! Crap fucking shit! 366 00:16:10,566 --> 00:16:12,132 - Goddamn it! - There you are. 367 00:16:12,165 --> 00:16:14,570 I was looking for you. What is wrong? 368 00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:16,971 Nothing. Just that place smells bad inside. 369 00:16:17,004 --> 00:16:18,508 Smells like dog shit and potstickers. 370 00:16:18,541 --> 00:16:20,214 Trying to get some fresh air. 371 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,416 Kenny, what is going on? You can tell me. 372 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,815 I don't know. 373 00:16:24,848 --> 00:16:28,317 Just sitting in there and everyone's clapping for you. 374 00:16:28,351 --> 00:16:30,222 Must think of me like some kind of dipshit. 375 00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:32,359 I feel like fucking Tim Robbins in there. 376 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,794 Everyone's smiling at me, bitching me out. 377 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,268 So because I'm achieving something 378 00:16:36,301 --> 00:16:38,164 - that makes you a bitch? - Yes, April. 379 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,325 Every single morning I wake up, I think about the fact 380 00:16:40,341 --> 00:16:42,404 that I fucking walked away from baseball. 381 00:16:42,437 --> 00:16:45,373 I gotta suck my fucking soul in, put a smile on my face. 382 00:16:45,414 --> 00:16:47,677 Go about my day. 383 00:16:50,613 --> 00:16:53,116 You have so much to be proud of. 384 00:16:53,149 --> 00:16:55,148 Like what? My shitty job? 385 00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:58,022 - Our lame ass friends? - Your kids. 386 00:16:58,055 --> 00:16:59,328 Well, Shayna's pretty cool 387 00:16:59,361 --> 00:17:01,160 but she's never gonna be a ball player. 388 00:17:01,193 --> 00:17:03,599 Toby. Always trying to challenge my authority. 389 00:17:03,632 --> 00:17:05,368 Little motherfucker thinks he's the head of the household. 390 00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:06,368 Fuck him. 391 00:17:06,433 --> 00:17:08,537 You think it's easy for me? 392 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,371 Watching you mope around the house. 393 00:17:10,412 --> 00:17:12,339 Mope. Ain't nobody moping. 394 00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:14,412 You know what? 395 00:17:14,445 --> 00:17:16,349 I'm gonna go in there. 396 00:17:16,382 --> 00:17:19,422 And I'm gonna try to enjoy myself. 397 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,328 And I hope you will join me. 398 00:17:28,568 --> 00:17:30,735 April. 399 00:17:30,768 --> 00:17:33,136 I'm gonna stay out here in silent protest. 400 00:17:33,169 --> 00:17:36,103 But perhaps you could grab me some of those chili sliders, 401 00:17:36,135 --> 00:17:39,240 that'd be very baller. Maybe some napkins. 402 00:17:39,273 --> 00:17:40,577 Arnold Palmer. 403 00:17:42,213 --> 00:17:44,485 Actually, April. 404 00:17:44,518 --> 00:17:46,486 You know what, scratch the Arnold Palmer. 405 00:17:46,519 --> 00:17:47,926 Just make it a lemonade. 406 00:18:20,148 --> 00:18:22,116 That's ridiculous, all right. Let's be honest, 407 00:18:22,149 --> 00:18:24,486 I mean, there are already gay athletes in the league. 408 00:18:24,519 --> 00:18:26,919 Just 'cause they're not vocal doesn't mean they're not there. 409 00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:28,394 I know Dontel ain't about that life. 410 00:18:28,427 --> 00:18:29,762 Are you afraid it's contagious? 411 00:18:29,795 --> 00:18:31,427 I damn sure ain't gonna find out. 412 00:18:31,468 --> 00:18:33,364 No. Way. Boy. 413 00:18:38,779 --> 00:18:40,746 I just want you to take a second, OK, 414 00:18:40,779 --> 00:18:44,418 and just imagine that you're sitting in a dugout 415 00:18:44,451 --> 00:18:46,250 and you're looking across the field 416 00:18:46,283 --> 00:18:48,387 and who's there, in the other dugout, 417 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,757 is AIDS. A team of AIDS. 418 00:18:50,790 --> 00:18:55,370 Baseball cap on and a uniform. All skinny with lesions. 419 00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:57,370 Saying I wanna get in you. 420 00:18:57,403 --> 00:19:00,376 I wanna get my AIDS right up in you. 421 00:19:00,409 --> 00:19:01,840 I wanna give this man AIDS. 422 00:19:01,873 --> 00:19:03,311 I wanna give this beautiful woman AIDS. 423 00:19:03,344 --> 00:19:04,909 I wanna give this whole table AIDS. 424 00:19:04,941 --> 00:19:07,708 Well, not on my watch. Not on Guy Young's watch. 425 00:19:07,742 --> 00:19:11,886 We're not gonna let AIDS get more hits than us. 426 00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:14,920 We're not gonna let AIDS strike out more people than us. 427 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,289 No, sir. Not on my watch. 428 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,791 Let's take out our checkbooks. Let's take out our wallets. 429 00:19:19,824 --> 00:19:21,160 And let's all be heroes together 430 00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:24,202 and win the World Series against AIDS. 431 00:19:24,235 --> 00:19:25,972 OK? 432 00:19:26,005 --> 00:19:27,268 Let's find a cure. 433 00:19:30,444 --> 00:19:33,410 Let's find a cure for AIDS. 434 00:19:35,813 --> 00:19:37,082 Shit, dude. An AIDS charity. 435 00:19:37,115 --> 00:19:39,248 I mean, that's a fucking pretty big deal. 436 00:19:39,281 --> 00:19:42,111 Yeah, man. All the top dogs have their own AIDS charities. 437 00:19:42,152 --> 00:19:44,950 I mean, war torn countries and natural disasters, 438 00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:48,023 they come and go but the AID train keeps on rollin'. 439 00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:49,422 You're a good fit for AIDS, man. I'm happy for you. 440 00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:51,188 - That's awesome. - Thank you. Hey, Jed. 441 00:19:51,221 --> 00:19:52,692 Bring the boys over. 442 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,858 Kenny Powers, I want you to meet my Sports Sesh cohorts. 443 00:19:55,891 --> 00:19:58,593 Three time Winston Cup champion, Jed Forney. 444 00:19:58,626 --> 00:19:59,625 Hall of Fame linebacker, Jimmy Clay. 445 00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:01,329 And last but not least, 446 00:20:01,362 --> 00:20:03,526 former heavyweight champion of the world, 447 00:20:03,559 --> 00:20:05,994 - Ronny "The Hammer" Garcia. - Nice to meet you. 448 00:20:06,027 --> 00:20:07,192 Holy shit. Well, you boys didn't forget 449 00:20:07,225 --> 00:20:09,788 to eat your Wheaties, huh? 450 00:20:09,821 --> 00:20:11,360 Hey, you boys ready to pop some champ? 451 00:20:11,388 --> 00:20:12,395 - Yeah. Hell yeah. - Sure. 452 00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:13,563 Because I put in my brownie points, 453 00:20:13,596 --> 00:20:15,393 now I'm ready to point some brownies. 454 00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:18,991 Wha-wha-what does point some brownies mean? 455 00:20:19,032 --> 00:20:21,029 - Fuck some ladies in the ass. - Hey! 456 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,476 Hey, another round of shots. 457 00:20:47,517 --> 00:20:49,946 - Coconut Ciroc, all around. - Whoo! Man. 458 00:20:49,979 --> 00:20:52,313 - Big fucking spender. - That's so much money. 459 00:20:52,346 --> 00:20:55,078 Shit, man. I'm bippin' daily. 460 00:20:55,111 --> 00:20:58,149 Man, I haven't been to a VIP joint like this in a long time. 461 00:20:58,182 --> 00:20:59,517 It's been a while. Thank you very much. 462 00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:02,388 Hey, don't get it twisted. We splittin' the check now. 463 00:21:02,421 --> 00:21:04,756 I actually only had two sexes on beaches. 464 00:21:04,789 --> 00:21:07,124 Stop actin' like a little bitch, Kenny. You know you rich. 465 00:21:07,157 --> 00:21:08,691 Yeah, I'm rich. 466 00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:11,090 Hey, I'll pay for Kenny. Hell, I got so much money 467 00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:12,226 I don't even know what to do with it. 468 00:21:12,259 --> 00:21:13,739 Hey, this bastard making all that bank 469 00:21:13,762 --> 00:21:16,160 selling doo-doo chicken to the poor folk. 470 00:21:16,201 --> 00:21:18,733 Hey, don't be jealous of my chicken chain. 471 00:21:18,766 --> 00:21:20,458 Ain't nobody jealous of your wack-ass chicken chain. 472 00:21:20,499 --> 00:21:22,298 Shit, you know that chicken nasty as a motherfucker 473 00:21:22,331 --> 00:21:24,003 if my black ass won't even eat that shit. 474 00:21:24,036 --> 00:21:25,236 Ah, shit! 475 00:21:25,269 --> 00:21:27,100 He's black and he won't eat the chicken. 476 00:21:27,141 --> 00:21:28,467 Somebody's buying it. 477 00:21:28,508 --> 00:21:31,670 Hey, Guy, tell him what you got. 478 00:21:31,703 --> 00:21:32,735 Oh, you wanna know what I got? 479 00:21:32,768 --> 00:21:33,775 I'll tell you what I got. 480 00:21:33,808 --> 00:21:36,175 I got... I got two Regal Cinemas. 481 00:21:36,209 --> 00:21:38,608 I got a Napa Auto Parts. I got eight Sbarros. 482 00:21:38,653 --> 00:21:40,847 I got I don't know how many Subways. 483 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,909 Hey, Kenny, tell 'em what you got. Tell 'em what you got. 484 00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:45,380 - Don't hold back now. - Yeah. 485 00:21:45,413 --> 00:21:49,284 I got a modest priced home. I got a good deal on it. 486 00:21:49,317 --> 00:21:51,083 - That's nice. - Yeah. 487 00:21:51,116 --> 00:21:52,850 What else, what else? What else you got? Come on now. 488 00:21:52,891 --> 00:21:56,689 Oh... I got a family that loves me. 489 00:21:56,722 --> 00:21:58,288 Loves the fuck outta me. 490 00:21:58,321 --> 00:22:00,326 Like, they like, they really like me a lot. 491 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:01,926 - Seriously though, - What the fuck is that? 492 00:22:01,959 --> 00:22:03,262 like, something real. What you got? 493 00:22:03,295 --> 00:22:07,261 I'm about to get a pool. 494 00:22:07,294 --> 00:22:08,500 I love pools! 495 00:22:08,533 --> 00:22:10,466 Hey, I swim in my pool every motherfucking day. 496 00:22:10,499 --> 00:22:13,328 - Whoo! Pool! Pools! - Pools! Pools! 497 00:22:18,231 --> 00:22:20,038 I'm gonna get a big motherfucking pool! 498 00:22:20,101 --> 00:22:22,298 Hey, let's all dance! 499 00:22:59,552 --> 00:23:01,918 Please eat your cereal, I'm not playing around. 500 00:23:01,951 --> 00:23:03,191 I need you to eat it right now. 501 00:23:03,224 --> 00:23:04,655 - Hey, that's mine! - No, we're not gonna run 502 00:23:04,728 --> 00:23:06,094 in the house, please. 503 00:23:06,127 --> 00:23:08,430 Toby, I need you to give her her iPad back, please. 504 00:23:08,463 --> 00:23:10,964 Let's bring the sound down just a decibel, please. 505 00:23:10,997 --> 00:23:13,697 - Good morning. - Hey, good morning. 506 00:23:13,729 --> 00:23:15,231 - Late night, huh? - I guess. 507 00:23:15,264 --> 00:23:17,398 - Hey, where's the aspirin at? - Right there. 508 00:23:17,431 --> 00:23:20,029 - Here? - Mm-hmm. In that drawer. 509 00:23:20,062 --> 00:23:22,364 - The coffee's ready. - Nice. 510 00:23:22,397 --> 00:23:25,130 - And you got this. - Hmm? 511 00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,570 Toby, please get ready for school. 512 00:23:28,602 --> 00:23:30,274 I'm not gonna say it again. 513 00:23:39,344 --> 00:23:41,246 Goddamn it. 514 00:23:53,823 --> 00:23:55,694 Look at this guy. This is the guy from before. 515 00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:58,831 Look at his little Sebring. 516 00:23:58,870 --> 00:24:00,135 Hey, I like that Sebring, bro. 517 00:24:00,168 --> 00:24:02,566 Oh, my God. 518 00:24:02,599 --> 00:24:04,838 He is a real loser. 519 00:24:36,477 --> 00:24:38,707 It's not nice to call people faggots. 520 00:24:39,908 --> 00:24:41,610 Faggots. 521 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,156 This motherfucker's crazy. 522 00:25:45,236 --> 00:25:47,000 What the fuck was that shit? 523 00:26:00,411 --> 00:26:02,409 OMFNG. 524 00:26:02,442 --> 00:26:05,816 Look at that body damage. This is structural. 525 00:26:05,849 --> 00:26:06,880 What happened here? 526 00:26:06,913 --> 00:26:08,951 Shit, Mark. Shit happened. 527 00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:10,783 Just like the saying goes. 528 00:26:10,816 --> 00:26:12,718 And I didn't fill it up with gas, either. 529 00:26:12,751 --> 00:26:15,285 Well, I'm gonna need a full report. 530 00:26:15,318 --> 00:26:17,328 You... gonna have to do the paperwork. 531 00:26:17,361 --> 00:26:18,825 Your laws mean nothing to me. 532 00:26:18,859 --> 00:26:21,561 Last night I had a taste of the A-list. 533 00:26:21,594 --> 00:26:25,569 And it reminded me of something I've known for a very long time. 534 00:26:25,602 --> 00:26:27,106 I'm better than you. 535 00:26:27,139 --> 00:26:30,369 This little fucking parking lot here, this may be your kingdom, 536 00:26:30,410 --> 00:26:32,502 your legacy. It's a piss in the pool to me. 537 00:26:32,535 --> 00:26:35,270 From this moment forward I'm getting what's mine. 538 00:26:35,311 --> 00:26:38,419 Fame, money, respect, chicken chains. 539 00:26:38,449 --> 00:26:41,881 And if you doubt that, all of you can suck my nuts. 540 00:26:41,914 --> 00:26:43,449 Suck on them so fucking hard 541 00:26:43,490 --> 00:26:45,488 you can't even breath through your mouth, 542 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,116 only through your nose, but it'll be even hard to do 543 00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:50,881 'cause my fucking fat dick will be clogging that shit. 544 00:26:50,922 --> 00:26:54,952 I'm no longer some slack-jawed dipshit that rents cars. 545 00:26:54,985 --> 00:26:58,255 Now I'm just back to just being a regular to who I am. 546 00:26:58,288 --> 00:27:00,328 You wanna fucking air battle, bitch? 547 00:27:00,361 --> 00:27:01,862 Let's fucking air battle, huh. 548 00:27:01,895 --> 00:27:03,830 Come on, man. 549 00:27:03,863 --> 00:27:04,926 - You like that? - Don't fake punch me. 550 00:27:04,967 --> 00:27:06,662 Come on. Put up some fucking defenses. 551 00:27:06,695 --> 00:27:08,365 Don't air punch me. 552 00:27:08,398 --> 00:27:10,269 You're not doing it good naturedly. 553 00:27:10,302 --> 00:27:12,037 Stop, man. 554 00:27:14,174 --> 00:27:15,341 You just connected, man. 555 00:27:15,374 --> 00:27:17,005 OK, I know. That last one got away from me. 556 00:27:17,038 --> 00:27:19,412 But that is what happens when people get into air battles. 557 00:27:19,445 --> 00:27:21,612 Sometimes they connect, Mark. 558 00:27:21,645 --> 00:27:22,915 Sometimes they connect. 559 00:27:24,644 --> 00:27:26,683 I quit. 560 00:28:03,763 --> 00:28:14,182 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 561 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,107 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 562 00:28:18,157 --> 00:28:22,707 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 43886

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