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1
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:03,942
MALORY:
I am dead serious.
2
00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:08,321
From now on, no eggs,
no pigs' feet, nothing pickled.
3
00:00:08,489 --> 00:00:12,283
Or so help me God, I will put that
refrigerator out by the curb.
4
00:00:12,451 --> 00:00:13,743
GILLETTE: What?
KRIEGER: Come on.
5
00:00:13,911 --> 00:00:16,371
Those weren't pigs' feet.
ALL: Ew!
6
00:00:16,539 --> 00:00:18,748
Whatever feet, idiot.
7
00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:22,877
Now then, we have an assignment,
but I won't be joining you...
8
00:00:23,045 --> 00:00:26,840
...so if you'll direct your goldfish-like
attention spans to Mr. Slater.
9
00:00:27,008 --> 00:00:29,592
Just Slater, for the infinitieth time.
10
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,177
Watch it.
Shut up.
11
00:00:31,345 --> 00:00:32,429
Burn.
Shut up.
12
00:00:32,596 --> 00:00:34,431
Burn.
13
00:00:34,598 --> 00:00:38,101
Okay. The young man in the monitor
is Crown Prince Fawad Fawaz...
14
00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:40,437
...heir to the throne
of the Kingdom of Durhan.
15
00:00:40,604 --> 00:00:42,439
He just got a summer internship
on Wall Street.
16
00:00:42,606 --> 00:00:44,941
Ugh. Affirmative action.
17
00:00:45,109 --> 00:00:48,278
And so he's in the city looking
for suitable accommodations...
18
00:00:48,446 --> 00:00:50,697
...something befitting
the world's richest prince.
19
00:00:50,865 --> 00:00:52,198
KRIEGER: Oh, money.
PAM: Holy shit.
20
00:00:52,366 --> 00:00:54,784
And so what, he needs bodyguards?
SLATER: Mmm.
21
00:00:54,952 --> 00:00:58,621
No, I think he's all set there.
22
00:00:58,789 --> 00:01:02,417
Which brings us to my problem, which,
coincidentally, is also your problem.
23
00:01:02,585 --> 00:01:05,045
Without the prince
or his security team's knowledge...
24
00:01:05,212 --> 00:01:09,424
...I need to scan any and all of his mobile
phones, any and all flash drives...
25
00:01:09,592 --> 00:01:11,843
...both of his handprints
and both of his retinas.
26
00:01:12,011 --> 00:01:15,138
And why?
Oh, sorry, let me back up.
27
00:01:15,306 --> 00:01:18,099
This is part of Operation Because
I Said So. You know what?
28
00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:19,309
I'm sure I do.
29
00:01:19,477 --> 00:01:23,438
For example, this is a tranquilizer gun
with which I will dart the prince...
30
00:01:23,606 --> 00:01:27,067
...and then we'll have 60 seconds to do
all the scans before he wakes up...
31
00:01:27,234 --> 00:01:30,487
...with no side effects and no memory
at all of the previous few minutes.
32
00:01:30,654 --> 00:01:33,907
Bullshit, the CIA doesn't have
that technolo... Ungh!
33
00:01:34,075 --> 00:01:37,660
But before I can tranquilize him,
I need access to the prince, so...
34
00:01:37,828 --> 00:01:41,748
And just so we're clear, he's the
prince of Durhan, an allied country.
35
00:01:41,916 --> 00:01:44,501
Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back
to Operation Said So.
36
00:01:44,668 --> 00:01:46,878
Everybody else,
these are your mission dossiers.
37
00:01:47,046 --> 00:01:50,006
Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.
Ah! Tunt Manor?
38
00:01:50,174 --> 00:01:52,050
That's my house.
I know.
39
00:01:52,218 --> 00:01:53,843
And the prince is on his way there.
40
00:01:54,011 --> 00:01:56,679
And so we're going there
and because you know the property...
41
00:01:56,847 --> 00:01:58,598
...you'll be posing as the listing agent.
42
00:01:58,766 --> 00:02:00,433
[GASPS, THEN SQUEALS]
43
00:02:00,601 --> 00:02:02,519
Shut up.
Burn.
44
00:02:02,686 --> 00:02:06,189
Just in case I don't read this,
what are the rest of us gonna be doing?
45
00:02:06,357 --> 00:02:09,317
Some of you will be assisting me
and/or Miss Tunt.
46
00:02:09,485 --> 00:02:13,363
The rest of you will be distracting the
prince's security team and/or his mother.
47
00:02:13,531 --> 00:02:15,532
Her Majesty, Queen Yasmin Fawaz.
48
00:02:15,699 --> 00:02:17,867
ARCHER: Oh, shit.
CHERYL: Damn.
49
00:02:18,035 --> 00:02:19,536
[PANTS SQUEAKING]
50
00:02:19,703 --> 00:02:21,162
Seriously?
What?
51
00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:24,124
I just heard you get hard.
ALL: Ew!
52
00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:29,212
They were goat feet
and you threw them out! Ah! Damn you!
53
00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:33,216
God damn you all to hell!
54
00:02:33,968 --> 00:02:37,220
[SIGHING]
So van's downstairs.
55
00:03:16,635 --> 00:03:17,760
[METAL DETECTOR SQUEAKING]
56
00:03:17,928 --> 00:03:20,555
MAN:
Turn around. Now spread your arms.
57
00:03:21,098 --> 00:03:24,309
I do apologize for this
necessary precaution, Miss...?
58
00:03:24,476 --> 00:03:28,646
Oh. Uh...
What do I always tell you? Never apologize.
59
00:03:28,814 --> 00:03:31,774
It is a sign of weakness.
Yes, Mother.
60
00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:33,985
So, Miss...
Uh, Escrow.
61
00:03:34,153 --> 00:03:36,362
My last name is Escrow.
Really?
62
00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:40,116
Yes, and trust me, I've
heard all the jokes.
63
00:03:40,284 --> 00:03:42,076
Ha-ha-ha!
Oh, boy.
64
00:03:42,244 --> 00:03:45,038
Okay, chinstrap, let me see
what we got on the other cameras.
65
00:03:45,206 --> 00:03:49,292
KRIEGER: Bathroom one, bathroom two, bathroom
three, bathroom four, bathroom five...
66
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:52,378
Are all the cameras in bathrooms?
No. Just my faves.
67
00:03:52,546 --> 00:03:57,634
Bathroom six, bathroom seven, bathr... Ah.
Should have gotten some poison ones.
68
00:03:57,801 --> 00:04:00,553
Okay, people, I want you in position
in five minutes.
69
00:04:00,721 --> 00:04:04,265
Ah. Should've thought of that before
you picked these ridiculous costumes.
70
00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:06,309
Why are your plans always so complicated?
71
00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:09,771
You're like Wile E. Coyote
with access to predator drones. Out.
72
00:04:09,939 --> 00:04:12,148
PAM:
I think these uniforms are awesome.
73
00:04:12,316 --> 00:04:15,318
Here, let me get some pics of you.
To masturbate to?
74
00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:18,238
Heh-heh. Pfft. Please.
75
00:04:18,405 --> 00:04:19,489
Please?
76
00:04:19,657 --> 00:04:23,660
Can somebody explain to me
why the CIA is spying on American allies?
77
00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:26,287
Well, Ray, there were these things
called dinosaurs...
78
00:04:26,455 --> 00:04:28,998
...and when they died,
they turned into oil somehow...
79
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:32,085
...and that's what your car uses for food.
ARCHER: Thanks, Al.
80
00:04:32,253 --> 00:04:34,087
CYRIL: Al?
Jazeera.
81
00:04:34,255 --> 00:04:35,964
For all we know,
Slater wants that stuff...
82
00:04:36,131 --> 00:04:38,716
...because the CIA is trying
to protect the royal family.
83
00:04:38,884 --> 00:04:41,177
From what?
Cabals.
84
00:04:41,345 --> 00:04:43,763
What?
Yes, sinister cabals.
85
00:04:43,931 --> 00:04:46,057
I bet the royal palace
is lousy with them.
86
00:04:46,225 --> 00:04:48,643
So instead of trying
to undermine the mission...
87
00:04:48,811 --> 00:04:50,728
Don't undermine it!
88
00:04:50,896 --> 00:04:52,397
What the heck got into him?
89
00:04:52,564 --> 00:04:57,527
More like what he wants to get into,
which, obviously, the queen's vagina.
90
00:04:57,695 --> 00:05:00,071
Seriously?
Or wherever else.
91
00:05:00,239 --> 00:05:02,407
Although she didn't look like
a Back Dorothy.
92
00:05:02,574 --> 00:05:05,076
Well, we'll just see about that.
93
00:05:05,244 --> 00:05:07,537
The part about Archer having sex
with the queen...
94
00:05:07,705 --> 00:05:10,832
...not the part about the queen being
into anal sex. Who knows?
95
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:15,086
Wow, this is eerily similar to my
spec script for Masterpiece Theater.
96
00:05:15,254 --> 00:05:18,589
Your what?
Well, I guess technically it's fanfic.
97
00:05:18,757 --> 00:05:22,010
Bringing us to the formal dining room,
which seats 80...
98
00:05:22,177 --> 00:05:25,596
...with plenty of room for servants
to skulk around.
99
00:05:25,764 --> 00:05:28,224
Ladling turtle soup into
sterling silver bowls...
100
00:05:28,392 --> 00:05:31,686
...their sullen eyes downcast
as Grandmama makes a joke...
101
00:05:31,854 --> 00:05:35,273
...about chopping off their hands
if they spill even a single drop...
102
00:05:35,441 --> 00:05:38,568
...like we used to do in the Belgian Congo.
103
00:05:39,278 --> 00:05:44,449
And how about that chandelier, huh?
Ha. But I wouldn't wanna dust it.
104
00:05:44,616 --> 00:05:47,994
An opinion apparently shared by the staff
about the rest of the furnishings.
105
00:05:48,162 --> 00:05:52,248
If this were my palace, I'd...
What did I tell you, wench?
106
00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:53,833
Stop right there! Who are you?
107
00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:57,003
I'm Butler. The butler.
108
00:05:57,171 --> 00:06:03,760
Ha. Wait, your name is Butler or...?
Both. And, heh, I've heard every joke.
109
00:06:03,927 --> 00:06:07,513
My sincere apologies, Your Majesty,
for the deplorable state of the house.
110
00:06:07,681 --> 00:06:10,933
Good help is difficult to find,
as I'm sure Your Majesty well knows.
111
00:06:11,101 --> 00:06:13,019
What I know, you impudent toad...
112
00:06:13,187 --> 00:06:15,563
...is if a servant dared speak to me
in my palace...
113
00:06:15,731 --> 00:06:18,441
...I'd have him sewn
into a burlap sack filled with rats...
114
00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:22,195
...and the sack thrown into the river.
Burn! Oh! Ungh.
115
00:06:22,363 --> 00:06:24,989
Well slapped, Your Majesty.
Come.
116
00:06:25,157 --> 00:06:28,993
Let's get this over with so I can
bathe off all this filth and grime.
117
00:06:29,161 --> 00:06:32,038
Oh, my God, can you believe this?
BOTH: What?
118
00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:36,376
My commission is gonna be huge.
QUEEN: Come, you foolish woman.
119
00:06:36,543 --> 00:06:40,463
Coming, My Majesty.
Now, is anyone allergic to ocelots?
120
00:06:40,631 --> 00:06:44,967
Oh, that's right, Babou.
Ow, man, what a hate-slapping bitch.
121
00:06:45,135 --> 00:06:47,637
Yeah, I gotta have sex with her.
Wait, what?
122
00:06:47,805 --> 00:06:50,598
But I thought you and Lana were kind of,
you know...
123
00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:52,433
Kind of "you know" what?
What'd she say?
124
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:55,269
Well, nothing, but...
See? Classic Lana.
125
00:06:55,437 --> 00:06:58,856
So what, you're gonna try to bang
the queen just to make Lana jealous?
126
00:06:59,024 --> 00:07:04,445
No. That'll just be icing on what I assume
will be an extremely moist cake.
127
00:07:04,613 --> 00:07:06,823
Blorp.
Because I've had sex with a baroness...
128
00:07:06,990 --> 00:07:11,661
...a marquise, a vicomtesse,
the two princess sisters, a duchess...
129
00:07:11,829 --> 00:07:14,247
Ah! Your mom's dog?
No.
130
00:07:14,415 --> 00:07:18,126
The wife of a duke?
Yes, but I've never had sex with a queen.
131
00:07:18,293 --> 00:07:21,504
Yasmin would be
my greatest masterpiece, Pam, my...
132
00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:24,841
Hang on.
Heh-heh. Moaning Lisa.
133
00:07:25,008 --> 00:07:27,135
Damn it, I was gonna say that.
134
00:07:27,302 --> 00:07:30,263
Girl with a Pearl Necklace.
Ha-ha-ha.
135
00:07:30,431 --> 00:07:33,307
The Potato Eaters.
Stop it.
136
00:07:33,475 --> 00:07:37,270
But wait. Why are you telling me
your plan to not make Lana jealous?
137
00:07:37,438 --> 00:07:41,023
I don't know, I... Oh, my God, Pam,
I think you might be my best friend.
138
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:43,526
You're my best friend.
What about Cheryl?
139
00:07:43,694 --> 00:07:45,528
You're my second best friend.
140
00:07:45,696 --> 00:07:47,447
Oh, my God.
What?
141
00:07:47,614 --> 00:07:51,701
Eh. I thought by now I'd be doing
a lot better in the old friend department.
142
00:07:51,869 --> 00:07:53,786
I thought by now I'd be dead.
143
00:07:53,954 --> 00:07:56,372
Well, day's not over.
Right?
144
00:07:56,540 --> 00:08:01,127
He what? I mean... So what?
Well, I just figured you'd wanna know.
145
00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:02,920
You figured it'd make me jealous...
146
00:08:03,088 --> 00:08:06,382
...but spoiler alert:
I don't give a shit who Archer bangs.
147
00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:11,554
Well, yeah, no, but if you did
and you wanted to make Archer jealous...
148
00:08:11,722 --> 00:08:14,891
Then I'd go break my pussy off
on that hot little prince's merguez.
149
00:08:15,058 --> 00:08:17,894
Exactly, that's what I'm... Wait, what?
150
00:08:18,061 --> 00:08:21,731
Which, come to think of it, would be
what my vagina refers to as a win-win.
151
00:08:21,899 --> 00:08:25,318
Hey, wait a minute.
Love to, can't, got a pussy to break.
152
00:08:25,903 --> 00:08:29,280
Ah. Well, that backfired.
153
00:08:29,615 --> 00:08:31,908
Or did it?
154
00:08:32,951 --> 00:08:36,037
Yes, yes, it most certainly did.
155
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,542
SLATER:
Okay, people, listen up.
156
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:44,921
If you're not in position,
you'd better get there ASAP because...
157
00:08:45,088 --> 00:08:47,465
What's that? Ungh.
Ah.
158
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:50,551
Because right now, Cheryl should
be leading the Durhanis into...
159
00:08:50,719 --> 00:08:54,680
CHERYL: The world-renowned conservatory.
SLATER: Where Gillette should be ready...
160
00:08:54,848 --> 00:08:58,392
...with the transdermal solution
of the most powerful laxative known to man.
161
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:03,022
I... Damn it, I had something for this.
Wait, was it something about dukes?
162
00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:05,566
CHERYL: The Tunt Conservatory is home
to the world's...
163
00:09:05,734 --> 00:09:08,027
...second-largest collection
of carnivorous plants...
164
00:09:08,195 --> 00:09:11,113
...the shame of which drove the current
owner's eccentric great-uncle...
165
00:09:11,281 --> 00:09:15,493
...Theophilus Tunt, to commit suicide.
Or maybe it was just the syphilis.
166
00:09:15,661 --> 00:09:18,120
We may never know, and, frankly,
it's none of our...
167
00:09:18,288 --> 00:09:19,664
Bathroom?
QUEEN: What?
168
00:09:19,831 --> 00:09:23,167
I'm sorry, Your Majesty, I don't know
what's wrong, but I need to...
169
00:09:23,335 --> 00:09:26,170
Mother.
Silence! How dare you?
170
00:09:26,338 --> 00:09:29,632
Indeed. Well slapped,
His Majesty.
171
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,468
Now, if you will follow me into the...
Bathroom.
172
00:09:32,636 --> 00:09:34,303
Please, Your Majesty. I cannot wait.
173
00:09:34,471 --> 00:09:37,139
I told you idiots
that wasn't the real Famous Ray's.
174
00:09:37,307 --> 00:09:39,934
A thousand pardons.
Foolish woman, where is a bathroom?
175
00:09:40,102 --> 00:09:42,812
Where isn't a bathroom? Heh-heh.
176
00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:44,647
Am I right? Ha-ha.
177
00:09:44,815 --> 00:09:48,943
All kidding aside, though, the house does
have 22 full-and 18 half-baths...
178
00:09:49,111 --> 00:09:53,864
...all boasting priceless
Grueby Faience tilework, as well as...
179
00:09:54,032 --> 00:09:55,533
...cucumber-water bidets.
180
00:09:55,701 --> 00:09:57,118
[GUARDS FARTING]
181
00:09:57,286 --> 00:10:01,122
Now, if your assorted majesties
and highnesses will please follow me...
182
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:04,166
To elevator three, where
what's-her-face should be standing by.
183
00:10:04,334 --> 00:10:06,794
Ten-four on the 20, come back.
Stop it.
184
00:10:06,962 --> 00:10:10,798
She'll bring the prince upstairs, where Archer
and Lana are waiting to bring him to me...
185
00:10:10,966 --> 00:10:12,842
ARCHER: What? Wait, what?
What?
186
00:10:13,010 --> 00:10:14,760
What's that?
Are you in position?
187
00:10:14,928 --> 00:10:17,388
Yes?
ARCHER: Yeah, I am.
188
00:10:17,556 --> 00:10:21,142
So I'm not really sure why you're using
that pissy tone with me.
189
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,977
Unless I sound like Lana, who is...
190
00:10:23,145 --> 00:10:27,982
Hang on, looking around the position,
and she is...
191
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:30,568
...not in position.
Well, where the hell is she?
192
00:10:30,736 --> 00:10:33,029
Yeah. Stand by?
193
00:10:33,196 --> 00:10:34,530
[HIGH-PITCHED FEEDBACK]
194
00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:38,159
Jeez. Ow! Oh. Agh!
What's that?
195
00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:40,578
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
196
00:10:40,746 --> 00:10:42,830
Hey, speaking of Lana and positions.
197
00:10:42,998 --> 00:10:45,708
Cyril, I either can't
or merely don't want to talk, so...
198
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:48,502
Cowgirl? Wheelbarrow? Butter churn?
199
00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:51,964
Ugh. Okay, Gollum,
you have won the game of riddles.
200
00:10:52,132 --> 00:10:55,843
The gold ring is yours.
Lana and the prince, you idiot.
201
00:10:56,011 --> 00:10:58,679
I... Wait, what about Lana and the prince?
202
00:10:58,847 --> 00:11:01,182
Bow-chicka-dow-dow.
Ah!
203
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:05,353
Ow! Ow.
204
00:11:06,271 --> 00:11:07,271
[SIGHS]
205
00:11:07,439 --> 00:11:10,733
So that backfired.
206
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:13,069
Maybe I should work on my timing.
207
00:11:13,236 --> 00:11:15,237
[GUARDS FARTING AND GROANING]
208
00:11:17,074 --> 00:11:21,661
MAN: Please, someone just kill me.
Be careful what you wish for.
209
00:11:21,828 --> 00:11:27,583
Especially if it's claustrophobic,
manually-operated elevators!
210
00:11:27,751 --> 00:11:29,251
Because this is what you would get.
211
00:11:29,419 --> 00:11:34,048
And I am embarrassed to say
that I have room for only one passenger.
212
00:11:34,216 --> 00:11:36,592
Where, in your belly?
Burn.
213
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:37,968
What?
Return.
214
00:11:38,136 --> 00:11:41,347
I shall take His Highness
and then I shall speedily return for...
215
00:11:41,515 --> 00:11:45,101
LANA: Your Majesty.
PRINCE: Oh, my God.
216
00:11:45,769 --> 00:11:47,395
PAM:
Damn, Gina!
217
00:11:47,562 --> 00:11:50,564
If it please Your Majesty,
take the elevator.
218
00:11:50,732 --> 00:11:55,778
I will escort His Highness upstairs
via a more scenic route.
219
00:11:55,946 --> 00:11:57,571
[PANTS SQUEAK
AND PRINCE COUGHS]
220
00:11:57,739 --> 00:12:00,157
Out of the question.
I don't want him alone without...
221
00:12:00,325 --> 00:12:02,618
Mother, this sounds like a win-win.
222
00:12:02,786 --> 00:12:05,371
Pardon, but I'm supposed to... Oof.
Mother.
223
00:12:05,539 --> 00:12:08,165
Woman, I will kill you where you stand!
224
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:12,128
Which, by law, I'm required to tell you
if there's been a murder in the house...
225
00:12:12,295 --> 00:12:14,255
Oh, but if you were the murderer...
226
00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:18,134
Heh. That's what I love about this job.
You learn something new every...
227
00:12:18,301 --> 00:12:19,635
Mother, please.
Ah!
228
00:12:19,803 --> 00:12:21,971
[CHERYL MOANS, THEN PURRS]
229
00:12:22,139 --> 00:12:25,057
Fawad, habibi,
I shall meet you upstairs momentarily.
230
00:12:25,225 --> 00:12:27,476
Mind you, do not tarry.
231
00:12:27,644 --> 00:12:30,229
Well?
Borp.
232
00:12:30,397 --> 00:12:32,148
SLATER:
What the hell?
233
00:12:32,315 --> 00:12:33,983
[GUARDS FARTING]
234
00:12:34,151 --> 00:12:36,569
Where is everybody?
Here. Present.
235
00:12:36,737 --> 00:12:37,903
Where's Lana?
What the...?
236
00:12:38,071 --> 00:12:40,656
She's not in here,
which is where you also shouldn't be.
237
00:12:40,824 --> 00:12:43,325
BOTH: What?
Why aren't you in position?
238
00:12:43,493 --> 00:12:46,245
Because, Slater, there's a problem
with your tranquilizer gun.
239
00:12:46,413 --> 00:12:48,080
What problem?
240
00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:52,084
It goes off for, like, no reason.
Where's Lana?
241
00:12:52,252 --> 00:12:57,590
I'm not even 100 percent sure
where I am right now, so...
242
00:12:57,758 --> 00:13:00,509
You... You are hands down
my new favorite thing.
243
00:13:00,677 --> 00:13:04,180
GILLETTE: Hello? Anybody?
What the...? Ray? Is that you?
244
00:13:04,347 --> 00:13:06,474
Yeah, I need...
Good, keep this channel open.
245
00:13:06,641 --> 00:13:10,269
No, I need you guys to...
Keep this channel open.
246
00:13:11,188 --> 00:13:13,856
God, these people.
Always me, me, me.
247
00:13:14,024 --> 00:13:16,442
[COOING]
Hey, pretty girl.
248
00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:23,199
Or boy, or gender-fluid, or however
you self-identify, it's all good.
249
00:13:23,366 --> 00:13:25,868
Although that being said...
250
00:13:26,036 --> 00:13:28,412
[GILLETTE YELLS,
THEN PLANT ROARS]
251
00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:36,629
Ah. Blorp.
252
00:13:36,797 --> 00:13:38,380
[PLANT MAKES RATTLING NOISE]
253
00:13:42,469 --> 00:13:43,928
[SLATER YAWNS]
254
00:13:44,095 --> 00:13:46,639
SLATER:
Okay, let's do this.
255
00:13:46,807 --> 00:13:49,558
What's-your-face, Pam, what's your...?
What the shit?
256
00:13:49,726 --> 00:13:51,352
What's that?
257
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:52,895
Hey, you.
258
00:13:53,063 --> 00:13:58,400
What the hell are you people doing?
Thinking about some breakfast, am I right?
259
00:13:58,568 --> 00:14:01,237
Oh, my God, chilaquiles?
What the...?
260
00:14:01,404 --> 00:14:05,407
Where the hell is my tranquilizer gun?
Your what?
261
00:14:05,575 --> 00:14:09,245
LANA: Your Highness?
Could you help me in here, please?
262
00:14:09,412 --> 00:14:13,207
And so, beckoned by the servant,
a powerful negress giant...
263
00:14:13,375 --> 00:14:16,335
...Fawad entered the boudoir
and soon became a man.
264
00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:17,837
[GASPS]
265
00:14:18,004 --> 00:14:20,756
I seem to have fallen.
266
00:14:20,924 --> 00:14:24,426
I... I seem to see that.
267
00:14:24,594 --> 00:14:28,430
Can you help me up or vice versa?
268
00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:34,103
I think perhaps both? Ideally?
Or rather, both, ideally, would be... Ungh.
269
00:14:35,355 --> 00:14:37,857
Hello? Prince?
270
00:14:38,024 --> 00:14:41,527
Kid, come on. I mean, I know I've been
crushing the post-natal yoga, but...
271
00:14:41,695 --> 00:14:45,656
Seriously, did you have a stroke? Ah.
ARCHER: Seriously?
272
00:14:45,824 --> 00:14:47,950
You honestly thought
you were so attractive...
273
00:14:48,118 --> 00:14:52,329
...that you caused a healthy young man
to literally... To...
274
00:14:52,497 --> 00:14:56,041
To literally have a... Uh, uh...
275
00:14:56,209 --> 00:14:57,251
Stroke?
276
00:14:57,794 --> 00:14:59,003
[PANTS SQUEAKING]
277
00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:00,546
SLATER:
Seriously?
278
00:15:00,714 --> 00:15:03,424
You better hope I get all
this shit scanned before he wakes... Ungh.
279
00:15:03,592 --> 00:15:06,051
What's that?
I couldn't hear you over the sound of...
280
00:15:06,219 --> 00:15:07,761
Seriously, just yoga?
281
00:15:07,929 --> 00:15:11,390
He said, jealously.
Oh, my God, if anybody's jealous, it's you.
282
00:15:11,558 --> 00:15:14,101
Hang on, shut up,
I have something for this...
283
00:15:14,269 --> 00:15:16,478
Lana Cougar Mellencamp.
What?
284
00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:20,566
Look at him. He's a child.
He's 21, I think!
285
00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:23,694
Which is more than I can say
for most of your sexual partners.
286
00:15:23,862 --> 00:15:24,945
What?! I... That...
287
00:15:25,113 --> 00:15:27,448
I mean,
if that were technically true, it's...
288
00:15:27,616 --> 00:15:30,284
What? Obvious that the reason
you try to drag your dick...
289
00:15:30,452 --> 00:15:33,412
...through every attractive woman you meet
is because you're not over me?
290
00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:35,289
Oh! Oh, my God.
291
00:15:35,457 --> 00:15:40,502
And just when their anger reaches
a fever pitch, in walks Figgis.
292
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:44,924
I can't even formulate a response to that.
Because you can't argue with the truth.
293
00:15:45,091 --> 00:15:48,802
I can! And if anybody's
not over anybody, it's you!
294
00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:52,264
With your, your, your...
295
00:15:52,432 --> 00:15:53,766
[BOTH MOANING]
296
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:55,559
[CYRIL SIGHS]
297
00:15:55,727 --> 00:15:56,769
Timing.
298
00:15:56,937 --> 00:15:58,938
[MOANING CONTINUES]
299
00:15:59,940 --> 00:16:04,485
Uh, excuse me? Hello? Ungh!
300
00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:06,528
[QUEEN SCREAMING]
301
00:16:06,696 --> 00:16:09,740
Jesus, my ear balls.
Um...
302
00:16:09,908 --> 00:16:12,910
Oh.
So here's the thing with that.
303
00:16:13,078 --> 00:16:18,999
I'll be seeing you two later.
Guards! Gua... Oh.
304
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:21,669
So not great.
Uh, could be worse.
305
00:16:21,836 --> 00:16:24,296
MAN: Coming, Your Majesty.
Case in point.
306
00:16:24,923 --> 00:16:26,507
[ALL YELLING]
307
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,345
Yeah, they're gonna kill everybody.
308
00:16:31,513 --> 00:16:35,432
Well, damn it. I'll have to disclose that.
Will somebody do something?
309
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,727
Yeah, Lana, get his pants off.
Oh. Inappropes, honey.
310
00:16:38,895 --> 00:16:43,023
Ah! Wait, were they screwing? Hey! If
anybody tells Mother about this, I'll...
311
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:45,275
Wait, what?
SLATER: What the shit?
312
00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:46,944
You idiots. What did you do?
313
00:16:47,112 --> 00:16:49,947
Hey, whoa. First of all,
your plan was way too complicated.
314
00:16:50,115 --> 00:16:51,281
Maybe for you people.
315
00:16:51,449 --> 00:16:55,703
It had everything but a sign for free
bird seed, and second of all...
316
00:16:55,870 --> 00:16:57,413
What the...?
317
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,915
Huh. I was wondering
how many rounds this little guy held.
318
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:01,083
[GUARDS YELLING]
319
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:03,711
Oh, my God, we're gonna die.
I gotta get out of here.
320
00:17:03,878 --> 00:17:07,423
If they find out the CIA was behind this,
it'll be an international incident.
321
00:17:07,590 --> 00:17:09,341
Yeah, God forbid you guys get caught.
322
00:17:09,509 --> 00:17:13,637
Hello, front desk? Watergate Hotel?
This is the Bay of Pigs, in Room 61.
323
00:17:13,805 --> 00:17:16,348
Could you send up
1500 poorly-trained Cuban exiles?
324
00:17:16,516 --> 00:17:18,934
Oh, and ice.
Ah. You done?
325
00:17:19,102 --> 00:17:21,353
Yes, that's right and a bucket of ice. Hm?
326
00:17:21,521 --> 00:17:25,858
What's that? No, we won't be needing
any air cover. Click. Now I'm done.
327
00:17:26,026 --> 00:17:27,276
[GUARDS YELLING]
328
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,320
Then can we...?
Carol.
329
00:17:30,488 --> 00:17:33,032
I assume the bedrooms are connected
to secret passages?
330
00:17:33,199 --> 00:17:36,994
Yeah, so that at night,
Grandfather could look in on the children.
331
00:17:37,162 --> 00:17:39,121
[ALL GROAN]
332
00:17:39,664 --> 00:17:40,706
Okay, everybody in...
333
00:17:40,874 --> 00:17:43,751
...and make sure you swing by
and get Krieger and Ray on your way out.
334
00:17:43,918 --> 00:17:45,419
Yeah, where is Ray?
335
00:17:45,587 --> 00:17:47,171
[GRUNTING]
336
00:17:51,843 --> 00:17:54,511
Well, I gotta hand it to you...
337
00:17:54,679 --> 00:17:56,680
[CACKLING]
338
00:18:02,228 --> 00:18:03,312
[ALL YELLING]
339
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,607
Wait, what about you guys?
Uh, we're gonna, uh...
340
00:18:06,775 --> 00:18:11,153
Beat them off... Hold them off,
so you guys can get away to...
341
00:18:11,321 --> 00:18:13,155
Safety or wherever.
342
00:18:13,323 --> 00:18:15,657
Heh-heh. Uh-huh.
343
00:18:17,494 --> 00:18:18,494
[SIGHS]
344
00:18:18,661 --> 00:18:24,500
Okay, so obviously we'll need to talk
about what just happened, so, um...
345
00:18:25,168 --> 00:18:27,461
Shitter?
Or wherever.
346
00:18:28,171 --> 00:18:29,963
[GUARDS CLAMORING]
347
00:18:30,131 --> 00:18:31,840
Your Majesty.
What in the...?
348
00:18:32,008 --> 00:18:34,009
Mother?
Your Highness. Your Majesty.
349
00:18:34,177 --> 00:18:36,720
You're alive. Tear this place apart.
350
00:18:36,888 --> 00:18:41,934
And when we find these American pigs, they
will eat their own eyes before we kill them.
351
00:18:42,102 --> 00:18:45,354
ARCHER:
Oh. Oh, my God. Lana.
352
00:18:45,522 --> 00:18:48,857
It's like the danger makes it
that much hotter.
353
00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:53,821
Yeah, yeah, that, plus your dick.
354
00:18:54,405 --> 00:18:56,323
Heh. Right?
355
00:18:56,491 --> 00:18:57,533
[CRUNCHING SOUND]
356
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,326
Totally.
357
00:18:59,494 --> 00:19:00,744
ARCHER:
Oh, my God.
358
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:05,833
MALORY: Well, I hope
you're all pleased with yourselves...
359
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,460
...because thanks to your
latest fiasco...
360
00:19:08,628 --> 00:19:11,296
...after he makes a formal protest
at the UN tomorrow...
361
00:19:11,464 --> 00:19:14,091
...the Durhani ambassador
is being recalled.
362
00:19:14,259 --> 00:19:18,846
Which... It was all Slater's fault.
Sterling, I swear to God.
363
00:19:19,013 --> 00:19:22,015
Malory, it was. He...
And why are you taking Sterling's side?
364
00:19:22,183 --> 00:19:24,101
Because...
Shut up.
365
00:19:24,269 --> 00:19:26,395
Burn.
Slater's plan was just...
366
00:19:26,563 --> 00:19:29,273
Fakakta, and I was counting
on that commission...
367
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,651
...and now the homeowners
are taking the house off the market.
368
00:19:32,819 --> 00:19:36,405
You do realize you're the homeowner.
Still though.
369
00:19:36,573 --> 00:19:40,200
Oh, shut up, and unless there's
anything else, you can all get out.
370
00:19:40,368 --> 00:19:43,871
Actually, there is one other thing.
What?
371
00:19:44,038 --> 00:19:46,748
[CHUCKLING]
I think Ray deserves a hand.
372
00:19:46,916 --> 00:19:48,917
[ALL LAUGHING]
373
00:19:51,171 --> 00:19:53,172
Goddamn it!
374
00:19:53,339 --> 00:19:56,091
Oh, come on, we were all thinking it...
375
00:19:56,259 --> 00:20:00,262
...because you got no freaking hand,
stupid.
376
00:20:00,312 --> 00:20:04,862
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