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1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,632
GILLETTE: Not once, not ever, has he
volunteered for a dangerous mission.
2
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,093
And now, all of a sudden, he's like,
"Let me go"?
3
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:14,263
On a night jump in the freezing-ass cold
to kill a Finnish double agent? Please.
4
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,224
So I'm like, "Yeah, let Archer go."
5
00:00:16,392 --> 00:00:17,433
But she's like:
6
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,268
[MIMICS MALORY]
"Ray, it's your mission, and that's final."
7
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,270
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
But why?
8
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,648
Because, just between us gals
and the C-130...
9
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:28,361
...I think she used to screw, ick,
Nikolai Jakov, the head of the KGB.
10
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,570
I know, right?
11
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:32,782
I think Archer wanted this mission
so he could cross into Russia...
12
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,118
...because he thinks Jakov
might be his father.
13
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:40,081
Y'all know me, I'm no gossip, but that
is some scandalous-ass shit right there.
14
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,792
What? Dukes. Unh!
15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,001
ARCHER:
Ray?
16
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,087
Hey, if it's any consolation,
you were right. Oh.
17
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:48,464
And, uh, by the way,
try not to be unconscious too long.
18
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,258
It's super bad for you.
19
00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:53,970
Hey, thanks, guys. Just tell my mother
I pulled a gun on you, all right?
20
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:58,057
This is to share. Look at me. To share.
21
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,392
You nut.
22
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:04,147
Okay, I got my fake documents, plenty of
cash, so the crossing should be a breeze.
23
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,400
Drive to Saint Pete, grab a latte,
then 400 miles to Moscow...
24
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:11,863
...putting me there right about the time
Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB...
25
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:16,492
...comes home for his borscht,
only to find an unexpected dinner guest.
26
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:20,747
Who may be his son.
And for dessert, we will have the truth.
27
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:21,956
You hear that, Mother?
28
00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:26,961
After a lifetime of your secrets and lies,
we will finally have the truth!
29
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,506
Oh, and also, hopefully,
shitloads of vodka. Woo-hoo!
30
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,886
Parachute!
31
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,013
PILOT [OVER RADIO]:
Chief, why's the door still...?
32
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:40,016
Wait, don't tell me he just now jumped.
Yep.
33
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,143
Like, just, just now?
Yep.
34
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:45,521
You know he missed the drop zone
by like eight miles?
35
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,191
Yep.
Jesus. He give you the money?
36
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,484
Nope.
37
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:50,651
[PILOT SIGHS]
38
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,863
What an asshole.
Yep.
39
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:01,829
Huh.
40
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,039
Okay. Ahem.
41
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,207
Uh, hey.
42
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:08,169
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
43
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:12,340
I was, uh, asking if this was
the, uh, Finnish skydiving club.
44
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:16,177
Which, judging by your response,
I, uh, assume it's not, so, uh...
45
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,553
Hey, so, guys, listen...
46
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:18,888
[YELPS THEN GRUNTS]
47
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,264
[GROANS]
48
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,183
What an asshole.
49
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,597
MALORY:
He did what?
50
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,057
Well, for starters, this.
51
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,559
MALORY: Good God.
Yeah.
52
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,770
That's a broken zygomatic bone.
Plus, I was unconscious for an hour.
53
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,273
Ooh, really?
Which is super bad for you.
54
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,483
Super bad. Have you seen a neurologist?
55
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:16,279
Have a CAT scan tomorrow.
Unless it's in Russia, you better cancel it.
56
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,155
Well, it's obviously not, and what?
57
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,199
The mission you failed
was on the border.
58
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,578
And I think Sterling might be trying
to cross into Russia.
59
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,956
Why would he...? Oh, is this about
Nikolai Jakov, the head of the KGB?
60
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,249
I... Who?
61
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,876
GILLETTE: "Who?" Nice.
Right?
62
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,295
The man you've been having
a 40-year affair with?
63
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,754
What are you talking about?
64
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,131
[SINGS]
Sex, baby, let's talk...
65
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,551
Zip it, LaMotta. And even if
I did know what you're talking about...
66
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,803
...how do you know
what you're talking ab...?
67
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,805
Pam!
PAM: I'm not eavesdropping.
68
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,558
Get your bloated carcass in here.
69
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,102
What's up?
You disgusting little sneak.
70
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,146
Have you been going through my desk?
71
00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:53,816
Okay, A, nobody cares about
your big knobbly vibrating eggplant.
72
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,985
MALORY: Huh?
B, sometimes I work late...
73
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:59,989
...and C, there's this new thing the kids
are doing called shutting the damn door.
74
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,366
[RAPPING] Forty ounce in my lap
And it's freezing my junk
75
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,160
MALORY:
Shut up. Shut up.
76
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:08,039
Then I put whipped cream
all over everything.
77
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:12,585
Oh.
And then you know where this goes.
78
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,045
Oh, shit, really?
Yo, ew!
79
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,838
Talking about the whipped-cream
incident?
80
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,007
Does everyone know about it?
Not everyone.
81
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,677
Just us, Krieger.
Really just, you know, the core group.
82
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,304
Pam, I should have you flensed.
83
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,848
And what in God's name
do you people want?
84
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,935
More rubber cement.
And SIGINT said to give this to you.
85
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:33,189
Uh, radio chatter about an American agent
the KGB caught parachuting into Russia?
86
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,066
Oh, guess who that is.
Really?
87
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,651
Yeah. Hey, where's Archer?
88
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:41,530
Probably hanging by his Achilles tendons
in some KGB hellhole.
89
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,700
"Caught at border, taken to Vyborg"?
90
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,620
Ray, get your purse and take some Midol.
You're going back for him.
91
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:51,165
Mm, according to these notes
from my doctor, a radiologist...
92
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,793
...and my new neurologist,
I am doing no such thing.
93
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,461
You little... Okay, then.
94
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,837
Lana.
Yes?
95
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,465
Start at the KGB field office in Vyborg.
96
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,259
If he's not being held there,
go to St. Petersburg...
97
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,887
...and if he's not there,
you go straight to Moscow.
98
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,723
Undercover?
Wha...? Of course undercover.
99
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,059
As what? Russia's only black woman?
100
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,769
Damn it.
101
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:15,564
I can't have this getting blabbed
all over the agency, but...
102
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,234
Oh, God,
someone has to go rescue my son...
103
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,236
...before he talks to Nikolai Jakov.
104
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,780
Well, that someone
needs to be fluent in Russian...
105
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:25,491
...and a couple of contacts in the KGB
wouldn't hurt.
106
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,036
Mm, could, um, this person be
from outside the agency?
107
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,539
BARRY:
No, no, no.
108
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,709
Oh, I know you two have had
your differences in the past.
109
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,585
Uh, differences? Uh, ha, ha.
110
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,838
You remember
that he shattered my femur, right?
111
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:42,425
Which is why I'm in New York, by the way.
I need all new pins put in it.
112
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,761
And I'm sure that must be...
Oh, and he sodomized my fianc?e.
113
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,346
You're still together?
114
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,891
Oh, I'm sorry, ex-fianc?e.
That's what I meant to say.
115
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,935
Well, then it wasn't meant to be.
Ha-ha-ha.
116
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,104
I... I don't even know how to respond.
117
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:58,566
What is meant to be is your going
to Russia to bring back my son...
118
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:02,778
...before he does any damage.
Or more damage.
119
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,573
One million dollars.
Well, you can divide that by four.
120
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,992
Come on. This is your son's life.
And my money.
121
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,536
Fifty now,
200 when you bring him back.
122
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,787
Alive.
123
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,372
Uh...
124
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,458
I'll do it on one condition.
125
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,917
Nope.
126
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,211
Lana, please.
I'm not having sex with Barry.
127
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,173
You did once.
By accident. Mostly.
128
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,259
And you were about to when you thought
it would get you my job.
129
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:28,137
That was for work. And this is just for...
130
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:31,223
Uh, Archer.
His life may very well depend on it.
131
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:36,437
Oh. But he's such a douche bag.
I know, dear. But he's also my son.
132
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:37,730
Not Archer.
133
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:41,567
Well, also very much Archer.
But I'm talking about Barry.
134
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,070
Who is, in fact, sitting right here.
135
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,281
So you wanna do it on the desk or?
136
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,325
Hallway?
Where you wanna knock this out?
137
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:52,119
Ugh, wherever.
After you bring back Archer.
138
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,537
No, no. Before.
139
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,540
We're doing it before.
After. Non-negotiable, Barry.
140
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:59,794
Then can I bring you back anything
from Moscow?
141
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,129
Maybe some nesting dolls of my penis.
Ick.
142
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,631
Sterling's already in Moscow?
143
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:07,510
According to ODIN's guy in the KGB,
which, as a real agency, we have.
144
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,096
We've got guys in the KGB too, smarty.
145
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,347
Yeah, so I hear.
146
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,308
Damn that... Pam!
PAM: I'm still not eavesdropping.
147
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,018
Well, don't just stand here.
148
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,771
Sterling's probably being tortured
as we speak.
149
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,689
Don't worry, he's a high-value asset.
150
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,942
I'm sure they're treating him just fine.
151
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,903
ARCHER:
Ahem. So, uh, yeah.
152
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:28,948
Kind of wishing I'd taken my training
more seriously now.
153
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,451
Which is, uh, pretty rare for me. Hi.
154
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:42,586
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
155
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:47,049
[ARCHER SCREAMING]
156
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,386
I swear, I'm just a Finnish
skydiving enthusiast who...
157
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:53,806
Shit, why am I speaking English?
With an American accent.
158
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,308
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT]
Maybe because you're Sterling Archer.
159
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,560
Who? No, no.
160
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:01,021
You know what I bet happened
is all the shocks damaged my frontal lobe.
161
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,523
The brain's language center?
162
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,108
[LAUGHS]
163
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,526
I think not.
164
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:09,905
Okay, we wait some test on you.
So now I take coffee break.
165
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,533
Uh, none for me. Have a nice break.
166
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,077
Ten minutes. I drop kids off at pool.
167
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,537
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
168
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,039
Psst. Hey, comrade.
169
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,541
Hey, stupid.
Barry?
170
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,252
Oh, my God, Barry, I... Holy shit. Barry?
171
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,462
You're in the KGB?
I... No.
172
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,257
No, dickbrain.
Your mother's paying me to rescue you.
173
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,467
Oh. How much?
Quarter mil.
174
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,428
Eh.
Plus, smell that.
175
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,889
What am I smelling, Barry?
Nothing yet.
176
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,098
But you wait.
177
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,435
Um, okay. Uh, until then, do you have
some sort of escape plan or...?
178
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:42,146
I thought I'd shoot you in the face,
smuggle you out in a coffin.
179
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,439
[LAUGHS]
180
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,608
Uh, how about something
a little less sarcastic?
181
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:47,943
Uh, or less stupid?
182
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,112
Lesson one...
Don't "lesson one" me.
183
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,407
Always hide in plain sight.
Unless you've got a better idea.
184
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:56,452
Uh, I might, maybe.
I mean, it depends on him.
185
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,162
BARRY:
Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB?
186
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,915
Yeah. He might be my father.
Wh...? Ha, ha.
187
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,875
That's why you're in Russia?
188
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,127
Yes, and if you tell anyone,
I'll murder you.
189
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,130
Now shut up while I go confront
my putative father.
190
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,508
JAKOV:
You backstabbing, two-timing harlot.
191
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,093
While he's in such a good mood.
192
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:18,057
I know you have been sleeping
with that mudak, Len Trexler.
193
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,142
Oh, like you're Mr. Monogamous.
194
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:24,939
Wha... For 40 years, kroshka,
you are my only woman.
195
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,607
Well, I didn't know that.
196
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:27,816
[JAKOV SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
197
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:32,488
Do you know your son is here
in the cells of the dreaded Lubyanka?
198
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:36,492
Yes, that's why I'm...
And that I am now awaiting results...
199
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,996
...of DNA test to establishing paternity?
I thought they just wanted my hair...
200
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,959
...so their scientists could unlock the secret
of its luxuriant fullness.
201
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,377
Touch it, Barry.
Uh, no.
202
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,171
[WHISPERS] Go ahead.
It's not that thick back here.
203
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:54,176
If he is not my biologic son,
I will put, personally, a bullet in his brain.
204
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:55,761
Nikolai, please, I...
205
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,180
So, what do you think are his odds?
206
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,016
Well, I guess maybe 1 -in-3.
207
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,061
Yeah, no, I do not like those odds.
208
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:07,481
So, what was your plan again?
I think I remember thinking it was good.
209
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,108
MALORY:
Wait, I... Nikolai?
210
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,068
Oh, my God, he's going to kill him.
211
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:14,697
Wow, so this is pretty serious, huh?
Well, Archer's being tortured...
212
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,033
...with 2-to-1 odds
he ends up brutally murdered, so yes...
213
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,702
...I'd say it's pretty serious.
214
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,869
Oh.
215
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,079
What?
Nothing.
216
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,290
Were you talking about
we're out of rubber cement?
217
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,499
Yes.
218
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,294
What is wrong with you?
Bitch, I got ants all over me.
219
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:33,007
Who cares about your glue withdrawal?
Jeez, what if Mr. Archer gets killed?
220
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:36,302
Yeah, right. My luck's not that good.
Aah. Ew.
221
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,220
Did I say "good"? I meant "fantastic."
222
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,556
Roll it down.
We're hiding in plain sight.
223
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,182
Roll it down.
For all of...
224
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:46,020
What did we get, Barry, like six blocks?
Roll the goddamn window down.
225
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,149
Afternoon, comrades.
226
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,692
Papers?
Uh...
227
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,861
[SOLDIERS GRUNTING]
228
00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:56,822
What the shit, Barry?
What? We don't have any peppers.
229
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,574
Or earplugs, you idiot.
230
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,826
You know how bad that is for eardrums?
What?
231
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,912
I said, do you know...?
I'm kidding. Drive the damn car.
232
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,539
Unh. Idiot.
233
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:06,999
[TIRES THUDDING]
234
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,250
[AIR HISSING]
235
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,918
I'm sorry. What was that?
236
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:14,214
ARCHER:
I said, um, how's, uh, your ex-fianc?e?
237
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,675
Oh!
"How is she?" I don't know, you tell me.
238
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,720
Well, gee, Barry, what's French
for "deliciously depraved"?
239
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,056
Ask your mom!
What's that supposed to mean?
240
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,891
Was that not self-explanatory?
241
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:27,519
It means, best-case scenario,
you have no idea who your father is.
242
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,855
Worst case, he's head of the KGB.
Yeah?
243
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,232
Well, at least I have a father, Barry.
244
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,695
Does...? Are you implying my mother
gave virgin birth, or what are you...?
245
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,989
No, Barry. I was implying that...
246
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,950
Actually, I don't know what I was implying.
I just said it.
247
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,702
But I think we may have a problem.
248
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,206
Aw, you think?
Yes, Barry, that's why I said it.
249
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,124
Kill them.
250
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,584
Barry, wait, slow down.
251
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,087
Why?
So I can go past you.
252
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:58,634
Has anyone ever told you
you are profoundly self-centered?
253
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,094
ARCHER:
Yes.
254
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,263
No. Nikolai, please, do something.
255
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,934
Kroshka, he kill two military police.
256
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,937
So even if he was my biologic son...
257
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:13,440
lf? But were the DNA results...?
Inconclusive.
258
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,901
Sample was contaminated.
259
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:20,989
Huh. Who do Archer think he is?
Only guy who want father?
260
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:25,119
Under very suspicious circumstances.
261
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,954
[HUMMING]
262
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,831
Out! Get out!
263
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,999
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
264
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,460
I'm sorry, Malory.
265
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,672
Even if he is my son, it is too late.
266
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,466
I cannot help him.
267
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:43,053
ARCHER: Uh, you could help, you know.
Yeah. So, now, uh, what are we doing?
268
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,555
Running for our lives, Barry.
269
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:49,101
I thought that was fairly obvious.
Yeah, yeah, but up that high thing?
270
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,310
[TIRES SCREECH]
271
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,687
ARCHER:
Unless you wanna stay here.
272
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,773
Wow, uh, a lot of fears
kind of coinciding here.
273
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,860
Aah! Who taught you women
how to shoot?
274
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,863
It's just I'm not super big on heights.
275
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,866
Here we go.
Ever since you threw me off a balcony.
276
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:07,077
First of all, I didn't throw you off anything.
I dropped you.
277
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:09,037
Oh, yeah. After I begged you not to.
278
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:12,249
After I begged you not to rip my suit.
I was clinging for life.
279
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:16,295
Yeah, to the silk-lined sleeve
of a bespoke Savile Row suit jacket.
280
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,881
You know what...?
Oh, and a bespoke Turnbull & Asser shirt.
281
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,842
Which you also ruined.
You ruined my life.
282
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,719
Oh, that is bullshit.
Really?
283
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,514
How would you phrase the fact that you
crippled me physically and emotionally?
284
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,767
Not that, crybaby.
This. The door's locked...
285
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,229
...and, um,
that way's not looking too good.
286
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,064
Wait, wait, wait, Barry. There.
287
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,566
We'll jump it.
Uh, no, we won't.
288
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,235
You got a better idea?
Hang on, hang on.
289
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,779
No. No, it's gone.
290
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:48,744
BOTH:
Oh, shit!
291
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,245
[BOTH GRUNT]
292
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,372
ARCHER: Ow.
BARRY: Now, see?
293
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,001
This is why I did not wanna do this.
Oh.
294
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,006
[SOLDIERS MUTTERING]
295
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:06,220
So, Barry, looks like the whole find-out-
who-my-father-is thing isn't happening...
296
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,013
...so now I wanna get out of here.
297
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,725
So I'm thinking
that we probably should split up.
298
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,770
No, no, no, please.
Archer, your boots are slipping, man.
299
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,439
There's 200 pounds of asshole
hanging off them.
300
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:20,734
One eighty-three, fat boy.
Whatever. Tell that to my silk socks.
301
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,904
Why are you wearing silk socks?
Is that a joke?
302
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,364
Archer, let me climb up you.
303
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,615
Barry.
Please, Archer.
304
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,909
Barry, buddy, this is happening.
Archer, no.
305
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,285
Try to aim for that Dumpster.
306
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,787
[SCREAMING]
307
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:32,955
Bye, Barry.
308
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,456
[BARRY CRASHES]
309
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,791
Dead center. Good work, Barry.
310
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:40,128
Oh, for... Why don't you just go
to my house and take all my clothes?
311
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,047
[MAN SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN]
312
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,299
You shoot like old women.
313
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,468
Seriously,
these people can't hit anything.
314
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,389
See? Huh, was that so hard?
315
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:51,890
ARCHER:
Ow, ow, ow.
316
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,185
What is this, a broken-glass factory?
317
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,980
Uh, secret police.
318
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,607
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
319
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,818
ARCHER:
Those cannot be your only shoes.
320
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,361
What am I saying? It's Russia.
321
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:07,948
I bet people come from miles around
just to have their picture taken in those.
322
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,533
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
323
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:12,494
Piece of... How are you a superpower?
324
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,291
Okay, so here's the deal.
I'm commandeering these shoes.
325
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,835
But I'm giving you this coat, so, uh...
326
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,837
Hi. How you doing? Sterling Archer.
327
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:24,423
[BANGING ON DOOR]
328
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,258
Sorry I can't stay for dinner.
329
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,511
I assume that smell is cabbage
and not just you two.
330
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,639
Halt.
Make me.
331
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,519
Eh. Nice apartment.
Thank you, comrade.
332
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,688
Shut up. You're under arrest.
333
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,773
[IN SINGSONG VOICE]
Awkward.
334
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,109
Don't even think
I want Jakov to be my father.
335
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,445
He's really got a temper.
336
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,654
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
337
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,532
Oh, that is bullshit.
Who would break in to this shithole?
338
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,034
SOLDIER:
Come on. He's on the roof.
339
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,536
Which is apparently a soldier factory.
340
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,830
Sterling Archer.
341
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,958
The world's most dangerous spy.
342
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,293
So they say.
Hmm.
343
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,961
You don't look so dangerous now.
344
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,547
Think it's because I'm in loafers?
They're not mine.
345
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:06,965
What is loafers?
346
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,134
[GRUNTS THEN SCREAMS]
347
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:13,138
Hey, it's a versatile shoe.
Works with a turtleneck, obviously, but...
348
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,015
And I'm seeing this more and more.
349
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:16,933
- I really like them with a casual suit.
350
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:21,563
Ahem. So, what do you guys think?
Loafers and a suit, yea or nay?
351
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,066
No? Oh, you're more of
a lace-up crowd, huh?
352
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,193
[YELPS THEN CRASHES]
353
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:27,611
[SCREAMS]
354
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:30,697
How? How is this happy playtime?
355
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,240
Ow! Ow!
356
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:36,578
Use your imaginations.
Make a soccer ball out of a dead cat.
357
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,038
Ow! Ow!
358
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,049
What the hell?
359
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,802
Split up.
360
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,852
Did I just blow your mind? Huh!
361
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:05,023
[SCREAMS]
362
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,943
Oh! Ho-ho-ho! Uhn!
363
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:13,281
What, you hear machine guns and decide
now's a good time to take out the...? Oh.
364
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,616
Oh, that's groceries.
365
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,868
I'm sorry, I thought it was garbage.
366
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,412
Uh, here, take this.
367
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:23,083
Get a welder to cut the top off that
and, bing, new umbrella stand, huh?
368
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:26,128
Because hate to do it to you,
but I'm commandeering your vodka.
369
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,379
We square?
SOLDIER: Halt.
370
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,924
Are we square?
371
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,593
Ow! Ow!
372
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,595
Nice extinguisher.
Thank you, comrade.
373
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,639
Shut up. You're under...
Arrest. Bam!
374
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,307
My collar.
375
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:40,809
[ARCHER GROANS]
376
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,478
Really rethinking that tetanus booster
right about now.
377
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,605
[COUGHS]
378
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:46,982
Rethinking a lot of things.
379
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,275
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
380
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,152
Like taking the elevator.
381
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,403
Not very green.
382
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,989
Although, I do have 3 pounds of glass
in my feet.
383
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,324
So this is how game ends for you.
384
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,660
That's it? No lovely parting gifts?
385
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,454
We will send flowers.
386
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:01,663
To your mother.
387
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:02,956
Mother.
388
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,292
Sterling!
389
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,669
[SOBBING]
390
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,588
There was nothing I could do.
391
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,799
My poor baby boy.
392
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:18,805
The doctors say that even if he
did not already have pins in that leg...
393
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:20,015
Wait, what?
394
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,350
- They could not have saved it.
395
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,020
BARRY:
Oh, for... Jesus. Did you even try?
396
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:28,023
I am sorry, Mr. Archer.
Goddamn it, I'm...
397
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,734
Archer!
398
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,694
That's what I said.
399
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:35,197
Nikolai, don't you see?
400
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,531
[LAUGHS]
401
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,159
Sterling doesn't have any pins in his legs.
402
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:40,786
I don't...
403
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:45,207
Then if that is not Sterling, where is he?
Ha-ha-ha.
404
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:49,002
I am, if you'd hang on a damn minute.
OFFICER: Come on.
405
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,171
We don't have all night.
Like you've got plans.
406
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,673
Goodbye, Mr. Archer.
Hey.
407
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:54,966
**** you, you douche bags.
408
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,969
[GUNFIRE]
[OFFICER SCREAMS]
409
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,348
[THUMP]
410
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,981
Um, thanks. Uh...
411
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,817
Hello, Mrs...?
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT] Miss.
412
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,360
Excellent.
Kazanova.
413
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,861
Katya Kazanova.
414
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,321
Hi. I'm, uh...
Sterling Archer.
415
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,406
Sterling Archer of... Yeah.
Of ISIS.
416
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:21,201
Do you not wonder
how it is that I know your name?
417
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,537
Well, I assume
I'm pretty famous here, so...
418
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,414
I am KGB.
Oh. Oh.
419
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:30,794
Well, then why did you...?
I want to help you escape, Sterling Archer.
420
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:34,422
But only if you will promise me
one thing.
421
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,383
Okay.
Take me with you.
422
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,095
Okay.
423
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:42,931
Super glad I didn't wet my pants.
424
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,135
[English - US - PSDH]
425
00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:24,735
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