Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:07,131
KRIEGER: So there's your
breast-cancer tumor, and the portacath...
2
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:09,884
...through which you take
cyclophosphamate intravenously.
3
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,177
[ARCHER SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,096
And you're taking
tetraphenol orally, right?
5
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:16,099
[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]
6
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:19,435
[SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]
7
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,938
I don't know, Krieger,
maybe it's because I'm a badass...
8
00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,690
...but chemotherapy is a breeze.
9
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,899
Yeah, that's my point.
10
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:28,778
Two weeks of chemo with no hair loss,
and you're not experiencing any nausea?
11
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:32,281
[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]
12
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,283
Which, I gotta tell you, huge fan.
13
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,869
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, and I advocate its use.
14
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,038
As a potential role model, I advocate it.
15
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,332
To combat
chemotherapy-related nausea...
16
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:46,546
...or for cannabidiol's clinically proven
ability to inhibit cancer cell growth?
17
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:50,174
It does that?
Yep, and if you need more, let me know.
18
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,801
I got a guy.
19
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,845
Me too, Krieger.
He's called a pharmacist.
20
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:57,640
Yeah, and is he the same pharmacist
who gave you all these chemo drugs?
21
00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,392
He damn sure didn't give it to me.
22
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,061
You would not believe
how much cancer medicine costs.
23
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,480
Those pills are like 80 bucks each...
24
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,899
...and the IV stuff
is literally 2 grand a bag...
25
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,153
...so why the hell are you poking a hole
in my bag, Krieger?
26
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,988
Because I want to run a few tests.
27
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,658
And so, if the reagent turns blue...
28
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,577
ARCHER:
But what does that mean, is that good?
29
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:21,289
No. It means this $80 pill
is 100 percent sucrose.
30
00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:22,749
What?
Sugar?
31
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,835
I know what sucrose is, idiot.
But there's medicine in there too, right?
32
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,087
Uh, no, not a trace.
What...?
33
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,174
Wait, so I've been treating
my breast cancer with sugar pills?
34
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,260
You didn't think it was weird
your chemo drugs were chewable?
35
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,180
No, little kids get cancer.
Oh, they do.
36
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:41,100
Well, what about the intravenous drug?
Right, yes, the cyclophosphamate.
37
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,519
Hm.
"Mm" what, Krieger?
38
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,022
"Mm" no, this isn't cyclophosphamate.
39
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,065
Well, what the...? Krieger.
40
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,442
What the hell is it?
41
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:53,529
Well, this is just an educated guess,
but, um...
42
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,823
Zima?
What...?
43
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,570
LANA:
Oh, my God, are you serious?
44
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:38,741
Counterfeit cancer drugs?
Yeah, basically candy corn and Zima.
45
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:42,078
Jesus.
Probably why I've been in a great mood.
46
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,579
But, Sterling, your tumor.
47
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,915
All this time, it's been...
Growing, I guess.
48
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,583
Oh, Sterling.
49
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,586
Plus God knows how many cancer
patients have been taking that stuff.
50
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,548
Huh, like Ruth.
MAN: Here you go, folks.
51
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,050
A week's supply of breast-cancer
chemotherapy drugs...
52
00:02:56,218 --> 00:03:00,263
...and, uh, your medical marijuana.
Oh, you poor thing.
53
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,849
Does someone you love
have breast cancer?
54
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,225
Yeah. Me.
55
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:05,893
Um, name's Archer.
56
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,563
Ruth. And don't
you worry, dear.
57
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,357
We can beat cancer
with this medicine.
58
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,943
Even if I can barely pay for it.
59
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:18,781
Don't you worry, Ruth.
I'm gonna make them pay for it.
60
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,951
What are you...?
Sterling, no, you're not well.
61
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,286
What are you going to do?
62
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,455
Cry havoc,
and let slip the hogs of war.
63
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,748
Dogs of war.
64
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:31,210
Whatever farm animal of war, Lana.
Shut up.
65
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,265
[PHARMACIST WHIMPERING]
66
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,766
Oh, God.
I think he gets it.
67
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,311
Just film the confessions, Lana,
don't editorialize.
68
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,104
Do you get it?
Yes. Look, please.
69
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,983
Because I swear to God, I will strip
back down and show you all over again.
70
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,234
No, I get it. I get it.
71
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,320
You have a lot of guns.
And a knife.
72
00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:01,657
Which I am going to push, very slowly,
into your urethra.
73
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:02,825
Ew.
74
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,744
If you don't answer my questions.
Number one.
75
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,331
ARCHER:
Wow, what a pussy.
76
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,417
I could barely even keep up,
he was spilling the beans so fast.
77
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:15,421
Well, you threatened to shove a knife
up his dick hole. Which, again, ick.
78
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,591
Well, excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage.
Still, though.
79
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,218
You really wanna take on the Irish mob?
No, I don't.
80
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:25,222
They're the ones switching out life-saving
cancer drugs with candy and Zima.
81
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,808
And why couldn't it be
the Brazilian mob?
82
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,977
[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]
83
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,647
[GUNSHOTS AND MEN GRUNTING]
84
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:36,484
Plus I can only assume a Brazilian mob
would be a jillion times sexier.
85
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:42,323
ARCHER: Seriously, these potato heads
have to be the unsexiest mob of all time.
86
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:47,328
You know who you're messing with, boyo?
You have any idea who our boss is?
87
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:51,207
Nope, but a hundred people surveyed,
number one answer is on the board.
88
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:56,796
Name the douchebag who's in charge.
Vincent Van Go **** yourself.
89
00:04:56,964 --> 00:05:01,050
Hm, Vincent Van Go **** myself.
Survey says...
90
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,218
Ahh!
MIKEY: Oh, Christ.
91
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:04,804
Good Jesus, Archer.
What, Lana?
92
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,931
I said it was a rampage.
Still, though.
93
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:11,686
Unh, unh. Oh, you son of a whore.
Save it for the fast money round, Paddy.
94
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:15,439
Hundred people surveyed,
number one answer's still on the board.
95
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:18,192
Name the douchebag
who's in charge.
96
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,528
Eh-ehh! Need an answer.
97
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,655
Mm. Cock-flavored spit.
98
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,782
Well, you never know
what's gonna be on the board.
99
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,575
Let me see cock-flavored spit.
100
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,868
[GUNSHOT AND TOMMY SCREAMING]
101
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,078
Guys, that's two strikes.
102
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,455
One more
and the innocent Honduran janitors...
103
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,666
...get a chance to steal the bank.
104
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,168
I'm just assuming you don't know
what goes on here.
105
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,045
I hope that doesn't sound racist.
106
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,672
Okay, kid.
He is a kid, Archer.
107
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,924
Lana, you're in
the isolation booth.
108
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,718
Looking for
the douchebag who's...
109
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,096
PADDY: Mikey Hannity, you say one word
and I'll cut your yellow heart out...
110
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,389
Uh-uh.
111
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,057
Oh, Christ!
LANA: Ugh.
112
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,059
Mikey, you gotta
listen to me.
113
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,269
I have breast cancer.
114
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:54,895
TOMMY:
Ha, ha. Breast cancer.
115
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:59,275
So you'll forgive my impatience
because I and a lot of other people...
116
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:03,237
...have been trying to fight cancer
with your boss's fake chemo drugs.
117
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,447
Chemo?
118
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,199
They told me it was cream
for male pattern baldness.
119
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,452
Do I look like I need bald guy cream?
No...
120
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,370
I can barely get a comb
through this.
121
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,707
It's so thick my barber
charges me double. I love my hair.
122
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,960
As I'm sure you love your kneecap.
Franny Delaney.
123
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:21,797
He runs everything here in Brooklyn.
Numbers, protection, dope, prostitution.
124
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,718
Victimless crimes, Mikey.
Tell me about the counterfeit chemo drugs.
125
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,887
They make the pharmacist
buy the real stuff.
126
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,096
Delaney sells it to...
127
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:32,475
...I swear I don't know who,
but they switch it with fake stuff here.
128
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,810
And those pricks do all the packing.
What?
129
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:37,897
You guys are in on this?
And I was worried about sounding racist.
130
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,232
Were you?
They don't know what goes on here.
131
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,650
They can't read English.
132
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,278
All those beaners care about
is taking American jobs.
133
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,488
Hey, relax, Hannity.
134
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,449
It wasn't all that long ago
that everybody hated the Irish...
135
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,952
...for swarming over here in their
potato boats and taking all the jobs.
136
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,204
Yeah, they... Wait, what?
137
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,831
And I'm pretty sure...
Guys, feel free to correct me.
138
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,168
- That "beaner" is a pejorative term
for a Mexican.
139
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,253
[ARCHER SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]
140
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,548
Huh. Thought there'd be an overlap
with the Portuguese.
141
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,050
Plus they're gagged.
Still, though.
142
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:09,136
And third, is this the real stuff?
Yeah, this is all real.
143
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,388
Why?
Because I'm way behind on my treatment.
144
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,015
Wait, what
are you doing?
145
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,267
I'm sorry, Lana,
did I mention I have cancer?
146
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:19,605
I know, but now in mid-rampage?
You really think that's a good idea?
147
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,108
Hmm. Let me see,
to take my prescribed chemotherapy...
148
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,193
...for my said
aforementioned cancer?
149
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,153
Yes, idiot. I do.
150
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,322
[VOMITING]
151
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:32,034
Oh, I'm sorry I called you an idiot, Lana.
LANA: Ha, ha. Yeah?
152
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,786
ARCHER:
Yeah, you were totally right.
153
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,496
Unh. Not a smart
mid-rampage move.
154
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,790
Ha. And you think that is?
155
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,209
Yes, idiot. I do.
156
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,213
Sorry. Again. I'm not myself.
157
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,007
But you are kind of
being a bitch.
158
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,558
LANA: Okay, so day two
of the chemo-fueled rampage...
159
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,476
...and, wow, how you holding up?
160
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,686
Not great.
161
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:01,188
As you can see,
I've got wine coolers on my feet...
162
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,732
...because my toenails
are popping off like pogs.
163
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:08,237
Fair amount of gastric distress,
and, uh, scarf.
164
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,157
Suck it up. I tracked Delaney
to an all-night poker game.
165
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,366
Great, one second?
166
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,243
[VOMITING]
167
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,828
Ew.
Unh.
168
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,914
Ugh, I never thought I'd say this,
but I really miss the Zima.
169
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:23,460
MALORY: I mean, was I there for every
single recital and lacrosse game? No.
170
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,589
Is our adult relationship perfect? No.
171
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:30,384
But I just can't even imagine life
without my precious Sterling.
172
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,721
And have you ever told him that?
What, are you kidding? No.
173
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:37,099
Wow, really? My mama told me
how much she loved me all the time.
174
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,268
Exactly.
Look how you turned out.
175
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,437
Uh, with high self-esteem?
176
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,731
PAM:
What you doing, Krieger?
177
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,274
Well, I feel bad
for Archer...
178
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,651
...so I'm making him some
Portuguese flashcards.
179
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,570
Portuguese?
But isn't...?
180
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,405
I thought Krieger
was a German name.
181
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,157
?ber German.
It means "warrior."
182
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,658
How come
you know Portuguese?
183
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:58,412
Because I grew up in Braz...
Bristol County, Rhode Island.
184
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,290
Lot of Portuguese in Rhode Island.
Where you're from.
185
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,126
Born and raised.
Uh-huh. What's the state capital?
186
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:07,129
Of?
CYRIL: Rhode Island.
187
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,297
Dallas?
Aha.
188
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,258
"Aha" what?
It's Austin, duh.
189
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,468
It's Providence.
190
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,304
But I bet he knows
the capital of Brazil, don't you?
191
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,972
I don't have to answer that.
Who do you...?
192
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:21,268
[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]
193
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,145
[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
194
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,523
Oh, my God.
What the heck was that all about?
195
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,400
Duh.
196
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,736
I actually have no idea.
No shit.
197
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,822
Yeah, I don't know
why I do that.
198
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:38,077
LANA:
Because I don't want it in my car.
199
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,413
What do you want me to do, Lana,
throw it out the window?
200
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,123
Obviously.
Oh.
201
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,418
WOMAN: Aah!
Ha-ha-ha. Oh.
202
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,088
I'm gonna be sick again.
Not in here, you're not.
203
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,006
Then pull over, Lana.
No, we're late.
204
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:54,593
You might've missed your shot at Delaney.
Well, then now this is happening.
205
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,053
Wh...? Ugh.
206
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:59,515
Lana, did you see my scarf?
Yes, Archer, I saw your scarf.
207
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,976
All my hair fell out.
I'm sorry.
208
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,437
Me too. It was my fifth best feature.
209
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,816
Oh, I think it's your sweetness.
210
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:10,818
Heh, heh. Nobody's ever
called me sweet before.
211
00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:14,863
Well, you're sweet enough to come
see a sick old lady in the hospital.
212
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,409
What? I didn't come by to see you,
I'm trying to bang a candy striper.
213
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,286
[BOTH LAUGH]
214
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,455
But, uh, it's not good, huh?
No, dear.
215
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,959
Afraid it's just not responding
to those chemo drugs.
216
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,128
Hey, you two
can't smoke in here.
217
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,130
Oh, unwad your panties.
218
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,299
[BOTH LAUGHING]
219
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,175
Yeah.
LANA: Archer.
220
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,677
Ha, ha. What?
Archer.
221
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:37,970
We're here.
222
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,597
ARCHER: Oh. Right.
You good?
223
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,099
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
224
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,060
[PANTING]
225
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:49,440
Rampage!
226
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:50,649
[GROANS]
227
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,026
ARCHER:
Little help?
228
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,611
KRIEGER:
Leave me alone. I am not a Nazi.
229
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:58,991
Yeah, well, what about your father?
No, he was a scientist.
230
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,910
Pretty sure the Nazis had scientists.
No, they didn't.
231
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,120
That's why we... Ahem.
232
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,414
They lost the war.
Lack of science.
233
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:10,002
Well, we'll just see what Ms. Archer
has to say about this Nazi beeswax.
234
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,253
KRIEGER:
Fine.
235
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,591
Or, you know, not fine.
236
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,344
Because between the cancer
and the chemo...
237
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,304
...and the just shit-tons of weed...
238
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:23,766
Oh, actually, yeah, good idea.
Let's hang back a sec and burn one down.
239
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,936
No. And I know it's not my business,
but I think you might have a problem.
240
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,939
Yeah, Lana, it's called cancer.
And also drug abuse.
241
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,609
Thanks, Woodsy.
The Drug Owl.
242
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,611
Now shut up
and kick in the door for me.
243
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,321
And do it badass
like I would...
244
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,198
...if I still had toenails.
245
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,368
Shite, Joey, you call this a hand?
More like a foot.
246
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,287
A great big...
Franny Delaney.
247
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,873
Stand your ass up.
248
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,750
Oh, you just missed him.
249
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:53,253
Shame, too, because he just loves
the E Street Band.
250
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,756
[ALL LAUGHING]
251
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,342
Did he just crack on my scarf?
I think he did.
252
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:02,388
Ow! What the shit, Archer?
ARCHER: Oh. Uh-oh.
253
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:03,847
You idiot asshole.
Sorry.
254
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,892
Now we're even, Lana,
from the time you did that to me.
255
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,228
I am sorry, though. I know that hurts.
Argh!
256
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:13,315
Speaking of hurt, boy,
you're stepping into a great big world of it.
257
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,443
So I suggest you take your bull dyke...
Lana!
258
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,364
Lana! Aah!
What?
259
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:23,784
First of all, you don't have to yell, Lana.
I don't have ear cancer.
260
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:28,163
And second, until I find out where
Delaney is, please stop shooting people.
261
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,456
Go ahead and shoot me.
262
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,126
Because ain't nothing in the world
can make me talk.
263
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,169
Well, heh,
you say that.
264
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,712
[WHITEY GROANING]
265
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,089
What are you doing back there?
266
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,175
ARCHER: Don't worry about what I'm doing,
concentrate on what you're doing.
267
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,468
What am I doing?
268
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,179
Well, for starters,
you can apologize to my friend...
269
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,806
...for your homophobic remarks.
270
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,517
I'm sorry, darling.
I had no idea you were a gay.
271
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,019
What?
She's not gay, she just has big hands.
272
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,855
LANA: What?
Nothing. Shut up.
273
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,982
I'm gonna assume
you know the difference...
274
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,818
...between an M26
and a Mark 2 fragmentation grenade.
275
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,027
What?
LANA: What?
276
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,029
Oh, sorry, do you not?
Heh, heh, okay.
277
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,241
All right, the Mark 2
has kind of nubbly ridges.
278
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:07,202
Do you feel those?
Different circumstances, might feel good.
279
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:12,207
Wait, son. Now, just wait a second.
Another key difference is the pin.
280
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,459
Oh, Jesus.
281
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,878
See? The striking lever's
the same, though.
282
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,255
It's spring-loaded.
Which reminds me...
283
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,133
...did you know that men can also
benefit from doing Kegel exercises?
284
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,342
[WHIMPERING]
285
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:23,594
Case in point, huh?
286
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,889
Now, where's
your cancer-patient-killing boss?
287
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,098
ARCHER:
I got it, let's go.
288
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,392
You're gonna leave him
with a grenade up his ass?
289
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,227
Yes, Lana, I'm on a rampage.
290
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:35,772
And also kidding, it's a smoke grenade.
WHITEY: Oh, thank...
291
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,234
[HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING]
292
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:40,736
Asshole.
What?
293
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:43,739
What?
294
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,033
What, Lana?
295
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,246
ARCHER:
What?
296
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,373
I thought it was
a smoke grenade.
297
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,835
They look exactly nothing alike.
298
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:58,670
What?
299
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,839
[TIRES SCREECH]
300
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,925
ARCHER:
What are you doing? Delaney's not here.
301
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,052
LANA:
No, but my ENT doctor is.
302
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,346
Do you like him?
Because I sure do.
303
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:10,682
Good bedside manner,
knows all the parts of the ear.
304
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,018
What was his name again?
NURSE: Mr. Archer?
305
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,103
I guess you heard about Ruth.
What?
306
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,647
About Ruth.
I guess you heard.
307
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:17,940
What?
Ruth.
308
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,400
Your friend is dead.
What?
309
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:24,780
Regis. I wake up early every morning
and watch Regis.
310
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:28,242
And that smile of his,
it gets me through the day.
311
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,619
You know what,
I'm gonna start doing that, Ruth.
312
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,037
Oh, you must.
313
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:36,416
Regis is the best.
No, Ruth, you're the best.
314
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,001
LANA: Archer.
Hm?
315
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:41,129
LANA: Archer.
What? Oh.
316
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,715
ARCHER:
Heh. Oh, man, what have I been doing?
317
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,842
Chain-smoking joints
the size of tampons.
318
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,469
Ew.
Figure of speech.
319
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:48,720
Still, though. Ew.
320
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,806
You're not rampaging?
I thought you were rampaging.
321
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,933
Right, yes, here we go. All right.
322
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,018
I got this. Franny Delaney.
323
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,270
Let's take a walk.
324
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,314
A walk?
Is that some sort of joke?
325
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,984
A roll, then. Whatever.
326
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,486
Are you not listening to me?
Well, obviously not.
327
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,990
My God, how is there not
one picture of us together?
328
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,993
Krieger's father was a Nazi scientist.
329
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,288
And JFK's father was a bootlegger.
330
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:17,833
What? That's like comparing apples
to Nazi oranges.
331
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,084
Oranges, exactly.
332
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,628
Do you like powdered orange
breakfast drink?
333
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:22,838
No, not really.
334
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:27,259
How about microwave ovens,
Neil Armstrong, hook-and-loop fasteners?
335
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,510
Okay, you lost me.
336
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,554
None of those
would have been possible...
337
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:33,849
...without the Nazi scientists
we brought back after World War I I.
338
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:37,561
The Nazis invented Neil Armstrong?
Rockets.
339
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,521
Which put him
on the moon.
340
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:43,817
After the war ended, we were snatching up
Kraut scientists like hotcakes.
341
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,862
You don't believe me? Walk into NASA
sometime and yell, "Heil Hitler."
342
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,031
Whoop. They all jump straight up.
343
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:53,201
But, Cyril, I know all about
Dr. Krieger's origins.
344
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,996
And I also know
that nobody likes a tattletale.
345
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,289
Yeah, Cyril.
346
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:01,209
And if it's one thing I've learned
in all my years as a spy master...
347
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,212
...it's that you keep your friends close.
348
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,547
Yeah, Cyril.
349
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:09,384
And possible genetic clones
of Adolf Hitler closer.
350
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,594
Yeah, Cy... Wait, what?
351
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:12,554
Yeah, what?
MALORY: Hm?
352
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,557
Oh, my God, it was you.
353
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:19,561
My 15th birthday,
you were at the compound.
354
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,730
[DOGS BARKING AND MAN SCREAMS]
355
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,358
When they finish,
bring me the boy.
356
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,234
[MAN SCREAMING]
357
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:29,905
The day my pet Dobermans
accidentally ate my father.
358
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,365
Oh, Krieger.
359
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,200
MALORY [OVER INTERCOM]:
Nothing's an accident.
360
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,910
Holy shit snacks.
361
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:38,121
Krieger's one of the boys from Brazil.
Duh!
362
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:41,375
Oh, my God, seriously, I'm sorry.
I think I need help or something.
363
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,709
No shit.
364
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,586
One more crack
about monster hands...
365
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,422
...I promise you,
I will shoot your fat Irish faces off...
366
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,634
I'm sorry, was that racist?
I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Archer.
367
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,220
I've got two perforated eardrums
and I guess I've just been...
368
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:54,429
[GASPS]
369
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,098
...getting hotboxed all day in my car.
370
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,267
Shit. Which I'm trying to sell,
but fat chance now.
371
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,938
I bet it smells like weed and rampage.
372
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,482
Damn it,
that is classic him.
373
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,110
Ooh, do you guys have any snacks?
ARCHER: Here.
374
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,695
This is good, right here.
375
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,364
For what, boyo?
We having a picnic?
376
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,449
Oh, my God, do you have snacks?
No.
377
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,244
What I have is a plane to catch.
378
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,622
Yeah? To where? Some bigger mansion
somewhere else you bought...
379
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,958
...with the profits
from your fake chemo drugs?
380
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,167
Pretty much, yeah.
381
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:26,461
So if you're gonna shoot me...
382
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,631
Oh, don't worry, I'm gonna shoot you.
Ha, ha. No, you're not.
383
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,216
You're an ISIS agent.
384
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,468
You got a sense of honor,
fair play.
385
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,970
Ha-ha-ha.
What?
386
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:39,141
You obviously haven't seen my movie,
uh, Terms of Enrampagement.
387
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,852
Hang on, that was lame.
You killed my men, sure.
388
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,061
But they were armed.
389
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,564
I'm just a sick old man in a wheelchair.
390
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,649
You can't do it, boy. I know you.
391
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,067
You don't know me.
Ha-ha-ha.
392
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,111
I know you better than your mother.
393
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:54,156
Who I had for three days at D?c Quay.
394
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,992
Can you, uh, go ahead
and repeat that?
395
00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,328
I said, I had your mother
for three days at D?c Quay.
396
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:04,332
And was that, hopefully,
some sort of Vietcong prison camp?
397
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:08,086
Singles resort. Phuket, Thailand.
Whole place ran on beads.
398
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,588
But let me tell you, boyo...
399
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:13,842
...that mother of yours
found a whole new way to use them.
400
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,011
To use the beads?
401
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,679
Oh, yeah. Boop.
402
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,932
Ugh...
And then zing.
403
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,350
Like an SSP racer.
404
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:23,977
[VOMITS]
405
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,229
Good times.
406
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:27,689
Goodbye, Archer.
407
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:31,359
Tell your mother
to give me a call sometime.
408
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,908
Delaney?
Yes?
409
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,368
Did you see Regis this morning?
410
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:55,550
Yeah. Why?
411
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:03,975
MALORY:
Oh, for the love of...
412
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,061
ARCHER:
Shut up. Shut up, here it comes.
413
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,771
Oh, booyakasha!
414
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:12,359
Right in the face. I swear to God,
I could watch this, like, a million times.
415
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:15,821
I'd swear to God we already have.
Well, that's too bad, Mother.
416
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,197
Booyakasha, booyakasha.
417
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,491
Hey, just because
he was your boyfriend...
418
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,742
What boyfriend?
419
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,578
It was two weeks in Phuket,
anything goes over there.
420
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:26,164
Zing! Ahem.
421
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,582
Wildly inappropriate.
422
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,210
Seriously, Pam.
Okay, Clone Wars.
423
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,420
Zing.
And, Mother, we had a deal.
424
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,965
I supply the mimosas
and bagels and lox...
425
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:38,844
...and you people shut up and ingest them
and watch Terms of Enrampagement.
426
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,053
[GROANS]
427
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,389
Which, obviously, a working title.
We have watched it.
428
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:45,350
Yeah, every Friday
for the past three months.
429
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,185
I'm not complaining.
See?
430
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,188
Twelve straight weeks
and Pam's still on Team Live Badass.
431
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,275
Yeah, and Team Live Badass?
That's the best you could come up with?
432
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:57,445
Well, Lana, since you already had dibs
on Team I Have an Oversized Vagina...
433
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:58,864
Hey, shut up.
ARCHER: You shut up.
434
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,284
And everybody else shut up
and watch Terms of Enrampagement.
435
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,451
[ALL GROAN AND MUTTER]
436
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,454
CHERYL: Hey, come on.
Why don't you call it Magnum, P. U.?
437
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,790
It's a working title. Idiots.
438
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,750
Liked him better when he had cancer.
439
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:14,087
First of all, what the shit, Mother?
And second of all, too bad...
440
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:17,299
...because the doctor says
my cancer is in remission.
441
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,259
Seriously, what is cancer?
442
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,304
So I'll probably never get
any sort of cancer again, ever.
443
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,806
So shut up and watch my movie.
444
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:28,435
For which I really need a better title.
Oh. How about Citizen Dickbag?
445
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,937
Snark Victory?
446
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:33,982
Wait. I got it.
447
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,401
Casablumpkin.
448
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,521
[English - US - PSDH]
449
00:21:13,571 --> 00:21:18,121
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35503
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
