All language subtitles for Archer s02e02 A Going Concern.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:07,173 Splendid. Yes, and we'll work out all the details when... Hmm? 2 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:14,347 Yes, it sounds amazing, it really does, but we'll talk about it when you get here, hm? 3 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,224 Mm-hm. 4 00:00:16,392 --> 00:00:17,892 Something on your mind, dear? 5 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:20,103 Not anymore. What in the...? 6 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:24,273 A microchip? Russian markings? What on earth is this? 7 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:27,735 Well, Krieger thinks it's some satellite-linked mind-control device. 8 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,612 Mind control? Why does he think that? 9 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,823 Because he removed it from my brain. What? 10 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,284 I told Krieger about my headaches. He gives me a CAT scan, then boom. 11 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:39,288 Next thing I know, he shoots me full of some kind of fish paralyzer. 12 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,748 That crazy... Yeah. 13 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:43,459 Then it was drill, baby, drill. Oh, my God. 14 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:44,961 Yeah. How do you feel? 15 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:47,547 Little pissed off, actually. That's understandable. 16 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:50,174 It was obviously put in my brain in the first place... 17 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,136 ...by your boyfriend, Nikolai Jakov of the KGB. 18 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,722 Sterling, first of all, we're not even together anymore. 19 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,890 Uh-huh. Yeah, I bet. And second of all... 20 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,935 ...why would he put a mind-control chip into your brain? 21 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:04,230 Because he thinks he's my father. And what, you think he wanted... 22 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:08,568 ...to mind-control you into loving him? You tell me, Mother, that's your specialty. 23 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,111 My... Get out. 24 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,821 No. No. Yes. Yes. 25 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,198 Mother, you've been lying to me my entire life. 26 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,743 Just for once, I want you to tell me the truth. 27 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,203 Well, people in hell want ice water. What? 28 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:23,040 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm right in the middle of a fairly huge deal. 29 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,209 [LOCK BEEPING AND WHIRRING] 30 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,090 Buying a lock factory? For your information, I'm... 31 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,343 No, never mind. You'll find out soon enough as it is. 32 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,179 That's classic you, Mother. 33 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:39,182 Avoid the truth, bury the secrets, hide the... Oh, for the... 34 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,850 I'm selling ISIS. 35 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,185 You what? There. 36 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,603 Happy? 37 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,856 No. 38 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,100 Mother, tell me this is a joke. 39 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,479 The only joke is my bank statement. What? 40 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,648 Everything I had was in a hedge fund. 41 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:33,027 But it turns out the whole thing was nothing but a damn Ponzi scheme. 42 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,238 I lost all my money, I'm ruined. 43 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,614 [CHUCKLES] 44 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,199 ARCHER: So you're selling ISIS? 45 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,659 [GASPS] 46 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,411 She what? Oh, man. 47 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,998 That's totally not irie. Then why don't you go back to Jamaica? 48 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,545 A, because I got deported, and B... So she can actually sell ISIS? 49 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,589 Doesn't the government own it? I've never been clear on that. 50 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,551 It's way too complicated to explain, especially to you two. 51 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,762 But short answer, yes, she can sell ISIS. 52 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,265 The question is, who would buy it? 53 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,434 ARCHER: ODIN? Or whom. 54 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:09,063 Yes, ODIN. Why would ODIN wanna buy...? 55 00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:11,190 Oh, my God, is Len Trexler behind this? 56 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:14,110 He made me a very attractive offer. Yeah, I bet. 57 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:17,697 That's because he wants to... Bleh! That with you. Ugh! 58 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,533 But wait a minute, does he know you're...? TREXLER: Gorgeous. 59 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,993 MALORY: Hello, Leonard. 60 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,328 Hello, beautiful. Hey, kiddo. 61 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,498 Hey back and if you don't mind, we're in the middle of something. 62 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,792 Actually, Sterling, if you don't mind? What? 63 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,796 Len and I have a lot to talk about. Like selling ISIS out from under us? 64 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:37,425 That and the around-the-world luxury cruise I'm taking with your mom. 65 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,010 The what? Hopefully... 66 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,470 ...in the honeymoon suite. The what? 67 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:45,141 And then the unemployment office after ODIN lays us all off. 68 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:48,811 Ugh! That totally stinks. Eh. You were on borrowed time anyway. 69 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,146 No, that. 70 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:52,940 What are you eating? Ackee and saltfish. 71 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,818 Yeah, thanks, this is only mohair. Irie. 72 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,905 So you really think ODIN's gonna get rid of everybody? 73 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,489 BARRY: No, no, not everybody. 74 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:02,241 In fact, ODIN plans to promote... 75 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:07,288 ...a very select few ISIS personnel to fill some of the impending vacancies. 76 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,956 Vacancies like? 77 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,958 Malory Archer's chair. Really? 78 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:14,837 Well, figuratively. I mean, I don't know about the actual chair itself. 79 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,757 It's a piece of furniture. So I'd be, like, the what? 80 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,051 How's Regional Director for the Americas sound? 81 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,345 The...? Yeah. That's what we're talking about. 82 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,847 Barry, that's my dream job. Yours for the taking. 83 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,974 If you are similarly mine... What? 84 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,184 ...for the taking? 85 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:31,312 "Taking" as in to get this job, I'd have to have sex with you? 86 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,065 Hey, hey, those are your words. 87 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,859 So... And also mine, yes. 88 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,028 CHERYL: Oh, come on. Okay, okay. 89 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,529 Hey, hey! 90 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,240 You idiots wanna hear my plan or not? 91 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,534 All right, so, suggestions. 92 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,537 About what? What are we talking about? 93 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,207 Stopping my mother from selling ISIS to ODIN. 94 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:55,378 You said you had a plan. My plan is to crowdsource a plan. 95 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,214 I could've done that. CHERYL: Thanks, Noam Chomsky. 96 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,299 [MALORY WHISTLES AND ALL GROAN] 97 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,844 CHERYL: My ear balls. Don't you people have work to do? 98 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,304 Not for long, huh? 99 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:09,809 Hey, gang, I can't wait to welcome each and every one of you into the ODIN family. 100 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:15,272 And speaking of, kiddo, I hope you're gonna welcome me into your family. 101 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,524 My fam... 102 00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:18,025 [VOMITS] 103 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,403 That's disgusting. Who are you, my cat? 104 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,989 You people better not track that onto the carpet. 105 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,699 It's filthy enough as it is. 106 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:28,035 Come on, Len. I'll follow you anywhere, my sweet. 107 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,704 Holy shit snacks. 108 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:33,082 Is Trexler buying ISIS just to get your mother to marry him? 109 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,417 No. Yes. 110 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,420 Look, shut up and... That is some high-priced MILF. 111 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:41,340 Hey, shut up and think of a way to make Trexler not want my mother. 112 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,050 We could give her a MILFectomy. 113 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:46,554 If you say "MILF" one more time, I will shoot you in your eyeballs. 114 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:50,725 She does have a point, though. Not the M-I-L-F part. 115 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,936 But if we could make Trexler fall out of love... 116 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,397 How? Trust me, you can't control a person's heart. 117 00:05:56,565 --> 00:06:00,943 You can with a little thing I like to call a deep-cycle marine battery. 118 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,611 Or LSD. 119 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,114 Is that what you've been giving me? 120 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,616 Yes? Well, that explained a lot. 121 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,618 I thought they were breath strips. 122 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:13,122 Anyway, whatever, emotions like love don't actually come from the heart. 123 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,623 They come from... The brain. 124 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,167 Yeah. 125 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:18,794 Or LSD. 126 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,172 [DRILL WHIRRING] 127 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,219 Oh. Come on. 128 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,346 [BEEPING] 129 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,933 Where is the trust? 130 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:40,149 What could be so secret she wired it up with 12 pounds of C4? 131 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,486 Ugh. I don't think I even wanna know. 132 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,112 [LINE RINGS] 133 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,615 GILLETTE: What? Heh. Nice. 134 00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,910 Here, take a look at this. All right, which one of these wires... 135 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,369 Blue and yellow. The blue... 136 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:56,624 Look at it for more than half a second. I wired the damn thing, ass. 137 00:06:56,792 --> 00:07:00,002 Well, I didn't know that, ass. 138 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,545 Okay. Oh, my God. 139 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,589 What? I lied, I didn't wire it. 140 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,634 What? You think that's funny? [SINGSONG] Ba-dum-dum-zing! 141 00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:07,843 [DRAWER RATTLING] 142 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,345 What? Not compared to that. 143 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:10,971 What is that? No. Oh, yeah. 144 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,848 Yeah. Not a bumblebee, is it? No. 145 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,433 No, no, no. Ray, what do I do? 146 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,728 Well, if you don't shut it off... She'll know somebody was in here. 147 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,981 So you could wait for the batteries to die. Okay, yeah, that's... 148 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,859 Sounds like there's about four big-ass D cells in there. 149 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,820 Oh, my God. Like a jackhammer. 150 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,655 Yeah, it's pretty big. Is it black? 151 00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,532 What? No. Slightly darker black? 152 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,159 No, it's not any kind of black. Racist. 153 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,703 Shut up, it's more of a... 154 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,123 Aubergine, I guess you call that. Oh. 155 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,707 Still pretty hot. Will you shut up? 156 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,292 Take a picture. Shut up. 157 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,295 All right, I'm going in. Man, I can't believe I'm doing this. 158 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,714 Try to think about something else. 159 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,717 Like how there's no sink in there. So, what if there's no... 160 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,511 Oh, my God. Yeah. 161 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,472 ARCHER: There's no sink! Ahh! 162 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,682 [RATTLING STOPS] 163 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:55,891 [SIGHS] 164 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,561 There's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that. 165 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,564 Oh, I touched my mother's dildo. GILLETTE: You should've borrowed these. 166 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,900 They're, like, super heavy duty. Gah! 167 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,279 Hey, what are you doing? What are you doing, making robot birds? 168 00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:11,532 Lana, we're in crisis mode. Mother's trying to sell us to ODIN. 169 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,702 I know. So how about don't break any more stuff in my new office? 170 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,580 Your new... Oh, my God, ODIN's making you the new boss? 171 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:21,208 Yup. I mean, I kind of maybe have to sleep with Barry, but... 172 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,460 Lana, how can you do that? Um, by getting drunk. 173 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,671 Same thing your mother's doing. Hey. 174 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,883 I know it's killing you that she's leaving you for another man. 175 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,051 Phrasing. But you better not mess this up. 176 00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:34,597 Speaking of mess, your birdbot is leaking. My what? 177 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,765 Oh, shit. Probably hydraulic fluid. 178 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,226 It's sweet-and-sour, dumbass. 179 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:41,979 Yeah, who's the dumbass now, Lana? 180 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:45,733 Or whom. Oh, Barry, how's your shattered femur? 181 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,276 How's your... 182 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,446 ...creepily childlike feeling of maternal abandonment? 183 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,616 The sale isn't final yet, Barry. No, but it will be. 184 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,409 And we are here to make sure of it. 185 00:08:57,412 --> 00:09:01,790 So don't try to do anything stupid. I don't have to try. 186 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,085 Shit. Whatever, move. 187 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,922 Barry, is that how you get ants? 188 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:11,217 Yes, it is, Other Barry, yes, it is. 189 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,602 Okay, the satellite link is online, so let's play God. 190 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,814 Freaky. I'll tell you what's freaky... 191 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,276 ...is guess what I named that bunny. Rabbert Klein? 192 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,821 Wow, that's actually better. Yeah, it's all yours. 193 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,449 Thank you. So can you put it in a person's brain? 194 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,955 He'd suffocate. Not the rabbit, idiot, the chip. 195 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,999 Oh, yes, absolutely. Without killing the person? 196 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:47,503 Oh, maybe. 197 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,837 [TREXLER GROANS] 198 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,839 Yeah, doesn't that feel good? 199 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:55,344 Feels better than this offer. Len, I need at least 20 percent down. 200 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,763 Oh, come on, it's not like you need the money. 201 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,849 You're already loaded. What if I weren't? 202 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,227 Then you would know I loved you for you. 203 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,980 You really do, don't you? And always have. 204 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,232 Huh. What about those years you spent... 205 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,151 ...shacked up with what's-her-face, the crazy one? 206 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:14,530 Anastasia. No, the tall brunette, "crazy" crazy. 207 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,699 Yeah, Anastasia. She killed herself. 208 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,701 Oh, right, sorry. 209 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,536 Eh. 210 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:23,205 Yeah, that's how you like it, huh? 211 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,376 Get it all down in your nooks and crannies. Someone's gotten pretty oily... 212 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,587 So, hey, hate to interrupt your conversation... 213 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:35,259 It wasn't a conversation, Lana. I was just talking to my gun, not with it. 214 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,177 Um... Pretty big difference. 215 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:40,014 Yeah, so are they in there signing the sale contract or...? 216 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,765 As we speak. Yes. 217 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,559 Because I've got tons of ideas... 218 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:46,812 ...to run this place efficiently once I'm ODIN's regional director. 219 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,524 I already jotted a bunch down and... Hey, hey, that's great. 220 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:51,900 I really hope you bring... 221 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:56,572 ...that same kind of enthusiasm and self-starterishness to having sex with me. 222 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,407 Oh, so us hooking up is still... 223 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:00,701 A perquisite for the job, yeah. Right. 224 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,369 Do I mean "prerequisite"? Yeah. 225 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,914 Either way, Barry's pretty stoked. Ick. 226 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,833 ARCHER: Okay, so that's Barry and Lana. 227 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:11,045 Pam, you're the amorphous Rasta blob. Big ups. 228 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,923 All right, those are ODIN guys. Ray, you're the little pink sailor and... 229 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,384 Wait, why do we have so many damn dolls in here? 230 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,261 For sexual harassment complaints. 231 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,723 So people can nonverbally indicate where stuff happened on their body. 232 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:26,935 ARCHER: Yeah, that takes, like, one doll. Not if there's ever a gang rape. 233 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,103 [SIGHS] 234 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,939 Cyril, pill up, you're assisting Krieger with the surgery. 235 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,733 What, why me? You're good at math. 236 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,985 How is that supposed to help? It can't hurt. 237 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:38,489 Ray, you lure Lana into the mainframe. And Carol, you lure Barry... 238 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,283 I wanna lure Barry. Wrong bait, Ray, he's straight. 239 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,534 How do you know? Hm? How...? 240 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,037 Because he was engaged. I was married. 241 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,624 For two years, yeah. I mean, she was a lesbian, but still... 242 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:54,797 We met in a "Pray Away the Gay" bible group. That was a pretty weird time for me. 243 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,633 Just get Lana in the mainframe. I'll take care of Trexler. 244 00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,219 And Pam, your job is to neutralize the ODIN agents. 245 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:04,598 How the shit am I supposed to do that? With Krieger's magic breath strips. 246 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:08,018 But don't touch them. Lysergic acid is absorbed through the skin. 247 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,312 Even the tip of your finger... Oh. 248 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,440 Oh, for ****'s sake, Krieger. You're about to do brain surgery. 249 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,110 Yeah, so sooner's gonna be better than later. 250 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,196 Damn it, how much time do we have? For me, usually about 20 minutes. 251 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,739 Usually? Less if I take two. 252 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,199 Man, you have got a problem. 253 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,993 Oh, right, like you're one to talk. Yeah, Pillbo Baggins. 254 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,497 These are from a doctor. So? Krieger's a doctor. 255 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,208 Not the medical kind. Not even the other kind. 256 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:32,626 ARCHER: Oh, boy. Technically. 257 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,002 ARCHER: I gotta tell you guys... 258 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:37,673 ...not feeling super confident about this plan. 259 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,425 [GRUNTS] 260 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,720 Racist. 261 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:51,603 So I guess you must be the infamous Barry everyone's talking about. 262 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,981 Yeah. Go away. 263 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,399 [CHUCKLES] 264 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,609 Infamously few of words, I guess. 265 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,863 Go away. So Lana said to give you this. 266 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:07,578 Pretty succinct. Guess you guys have lots in common. 267 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,708 Like I bet your genitals are the same distance from the ground. 268 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:16,170 Look alive, gang. I think Archer's gonna try to torpedo this deal... 269 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:20,382 ...so until the contract is signed, don't let Archer anywhere near that office. 270 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,093 [HAWKS THEN SPITS] 271 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:25,304 What are you...? Don't do that, you asshole. 272 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,807 We're buying this place. Carpet's shitty enough as it is. 273 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,060 I'll tell you what's shitty. Somebody's breath around here. 274 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,270 [SNIFFING] 275 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:37,274 Whoa, here, take three or four of them. Probably won't kill you guys, either. 276 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:40,903 Because somebody smells like they ate the ass end out of a northbound cow. 277 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,030 Well, what do you think? 278 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:45,449 [SOBBING] I think I'm gonna miss you so much. 279 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:49,495 Aw, honey, you're not going anywhere, not when I'm the regional director. 280 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,581 But are you sure you'll get the job? 281 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:56,084 Oh, honey, totally, yes. I mean, I do have to sleep with Barry, but... 282 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,962 Right, he said he's in the mainframe and it's now or never. 283 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,048 Really? Yeah, used those exact words. 284 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,717 Ugh. It all feels so dirty. 285 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:07,471 Yeah, the carpet in there is gross. No, trading sex for this job. 286 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:10,766 I mean, it is the chance of a lifetime, but... Honey, look at me. 287 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:14,937 We all gotta do what we all gotta do. You wouldn't hate me for it? 288 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:20,442 Oh, God, no. But just do reverse cowgirl because that carpet is seriously heinous. 289 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,028 Wow, so guess that worked, huh? 290 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:27,157 Pamela, cool runnings, man. God, would you give it a rest, um? 291 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,992 [ODIN AGENTS LAUGHING AND GRUNTING] 292 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,453 Damn, I had something for this. 293 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,498 Blob Marley. 294 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:35,707 [CHUCKLES] 295 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,459 All right, there's my signature. 296 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:41,380 And once you countersign... We can set sail for romance. 297 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:46,635 Mazatl?n, Maui, maybe even a small wedding on the beach in Tahiti. 298 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:49,930 Yeah, about that, could I borrow Len for a second? 299 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,183 Why? To, um, give him my blessing... 300 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,977 ...in asking for your hand in marriage. 301 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,479 Aw. Well, that's just weird. 302 00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,856 No, it's beautiful, it's... 303 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,860 Well, maybe not traditional, but it's a damn classy move. 304 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,654 After you, kiddo. 305 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,323 [BARRY GROANS] 306 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,033 Barry? BARRY: In here. 307 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:13,537 Just doing some deep knee bends. 308 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,205 Nude. Wanted to stay loose. 309 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:19,418 Yeah, so listen, about the job and this, I don't think I can do it. 310 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,795 Then why did you send that note? What note? 311 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,171 What the...? 312 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,507 No, no, no. Hey, open this damn door! 313 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:28,135 Sorry, honey, please don't hate me. 314 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,012 Just doing what I gotta do. 315 00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:33,015 Huh. Sort of pictured more of a lounge. 316 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,100 Yeah. Morris chairs, that kind of stuff. 317 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,852 Yeah. So listen. Some lamps. 318 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,313 About you and Mother... We're in love, kiddo. 319 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,690 Well, maybe you're in love. She's just in need. 320 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,150 Of what? Of money. 321 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:46,194 She's broke, Trexler. She lost everything in a Ponzi scheme. 322 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:50,282 So, what you're saying, she's... Using you, you dumb idiot. 323 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,700 Oh. 324 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,329 Doesn't matter. I am crazy about her. What? 325 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:58,999 And if I can be there for her when she really needs me, then all the better. 326 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:02,002 I was afraid you'd say that. Why? Ow! 327 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,047 Why are you doing that? Hello. 328 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,716 What is that? Fish paralyzer. 329 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,468 Okay. 330 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:14,056 Okay, he's out. How's Krieger doing? Not great. 331 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,224 Yes, he is. Let's do this! 332 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,976 [DRILL WHIRRING] 333 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,771 So are we gonna do this or...? No, no, we're not. 334 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,398 For a list of reasons, at the top of which is Archer. 335 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:26,234 You're not still into that guy? No. But he's out there... 336 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,695 ...somewhere and somehow, dashing all my hopes. 337 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:30,322 Look, this sale's gonna happen. 338 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,033 So, what we should do is spread our clothes around... 339 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:36,578 ...so our naked bodies do not touch this carpet. 340 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,039 MALORY: Oh, for the... 341 00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:42,709 Sweet-and-sour? Might as well start an ant farm. 342 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,253 And what's taking those two so long? 343 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,130 Wow, so that didn't take long, huh? 344 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,424 Uh, I don't know. That was rhetorical. 345 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,176 Okay, Krieger? Yes. 346 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,095 What are you doing? What's next? 347 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:57,015 Okay, cue visual. Roger, cueing visual. 348 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,605 Oh, there's my lovely lady love. 349 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:06,692 Okay, now... Wow, that feels good. 350 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,528 ARCHER: Krieger. Oh, commence the modified Ludovico. 351 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,571 Commencing the modified Ludovico. 352 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,867 Aah! Aah! No, no, no. 353 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,120 I don't like this. No, no, no. 354 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,913 Who is that? Who is that... 355 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,333 ...horrible woman? That's Malory Archer. 356 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:27,003 You love her. TREXLER: No, no, no. Ick! 357 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,089 Krieger? Krieger? 358 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:32,926 Commence satellite link. CYRIL: Commencing satellite link. 359 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,887 [SCREAMING] 360 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,432 So you wouldn't wanna marry her? No, no, please. 361 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,809 Please make it stop. 362 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,478 Okay. What do I do, what do I do? 363 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,148 Just hit "tab." Idiot. Oh. 364 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,985 Okay, it's over and you're sure you don't wanna marry that woman? 365 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:52,946 Oh, God, no. You know what I want? 366 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,573 Tell me. Some of that lettuce. 367 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,658 Um, okay. Or actually, can I have all of it? 368 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,202 And the bunny attached to it. He is attached, right? 369 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:02,164 The bunny and lettuce? Can we give Lenny the rabbit? 370 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,999 And the lettuce. 371 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,668 Sure thing, go to town. 372 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,755 Yeah, because you know, they're brothers. 373 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,674 Is he always gonna be like this now? Because I feel bad. 374 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,761 Sterling? Len? 375 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,014 Either and/or both? Where the hell are you? 376 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:22,267 Len! Yeah, do you know where he is? 377 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:27,189 Yes, I'm just screaming his name down the hall to celebrate that fact. 378 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,317 Is that some kind of joke? Is that? 379 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:33,069 It's cold in here. TREXLER: Because she's here. 380 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:36,281 The big, bad lady is here and she is cold. 381 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,450 Len, what's going on? TREXLER: You're mean. 382 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,993 What? And I don't like you. 383 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:44,039 And I don't want ISIS or you. And all I want is this lettuce and his brother. 384 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,041 Rabbert Klein. Rabbert Klein. 385 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,626 So Barry, you ass. BARRY: Yeah? 386 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:52,172 For the love of all that's green, take me and Rabbert to the lettuce store. 387 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:56,009 Sterling Malory Archer. 388 00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:59,888 Yes, Mother, I'm here for you. 389 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:03,558 GILLETTE: You did the right thing, hon. And all it cost me was my dream job. 390 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:06,228 And a broken hand, which kills. 391 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,896 [GRUNTS] 392 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:12,317 I'm good. Racist. 393 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:18,740 Buy you a cup of coffee? You know, since you're broke. 394 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:19,991 You meddling ass. Me? 395 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,285 Sterling, I know what you did to Trexler. 396 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,204 I didn't do anyth... Yes, you did. 397 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:28,250 Because certain items in my desk... Bah, bah-bah-bah. I can't hear you. 398 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,210 ...were not where I put them. Bah-bah-bah. 399 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:33,880 And we need never to speak of that sickening invasion of privacy again. 400 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,216 Yeah, and the neverer the better. 401 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:39,427 But since I can only assume that Russian mind-control chip... 402 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,597 ...is rattling around in Len Trexler's bald head... 403 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,432 Not rattling, Krieger stapled it. 404 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,687 ...I had to go to plan B and lease out three floors in the building. 405 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:52,065 And also sell the cleaners. You sold the cleaners? 406 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,775 To who? MAN: Or whom. 407 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,361 What? Popeye? Mm-hm. 408 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,655 And he paid up front, in cash. 409 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:02,450 Yeah, not surprising, considering the fact he's a loan-sharking pimp. 410 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,912 Former loan-sharking pimp. I'm going legitimate. 411 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,291 What do you know about dry cleaning? I know you owe me 3 grand. 412 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,625 I told you when I... 413 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,920 And I also know I got five of your hand-tailored suits in the back. 414 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,882 What, you're holding my suits hostage? Collateral. 415 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,967 Now, get the **** out of my cleaners. 416 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,719 I think it's a good fit. What? 417 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,762 See you tomorrow, Popeye. 418 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,180 Mm-hm. 419 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,808 What do I know about dry cleaning? 420 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,811 I know I'm switching from perc to D5. 421 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,480 Going green up in here. 422 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,276 Oh. 423 00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,022 [English - US - PSDH] 424 00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:18,622 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34547

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