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1
00:00:48,823 --> 00:00:51,559
Oh, man, that is so great.
Ok, I owe you.
2
00:00:51,626 --> 00:00:52,893
All right, bye.
3
00:00:52,961 --> 00:00:54,361
Yeah!
What?
4
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,230
Well, your old hubby
just got a night job
5
00:00:56,298 --> 00:00:57,931
doing what he does best.
6
00:00:57,999 --> 00:01:00,601
I know what you're thinkin':
Underwear model.
7
00:01:03,771 --> 00:01:06,207
Actually, what I do
second best: Driving.
8
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:09,110
Oh, the limo thing
came through? Yay!
9
00:01:09,177 --> 00:01:11,878
Yep, 5 nights a week,
I'm going to be playing
motor host
10
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:14,415
to New York's
glamorous social elite.
11
00:01:14,483 --> 00:01:16,917
And probably
some drunk prom kids.
12
00:01:18,153 --> 00:01:20,454
5 nights.
Honey, that's so much.
13
00:01:20,522 --> 00:01:22,055
Money! Cash!
14
00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:25,259
You know what
I'm talking about?
Co-co-cold cash.
15
00:01:25,327 --> 00:01:26,960
All right.
16
00:01:27,028 --> 00:01:29,230
I'm telling you, car,
our kid's gonna have
the best of everything:
17
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:32,600
Best food, best babysitters,
solid-gold pacifier.
18
00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:34,835
I'm not sure if it's good
for a kid to suck on gold.
19
00:01:34,902 --> 00:01:38,272
Fine. Lead, whatever.
The point is
20
00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:40,474
we're gonna have the money
to do what we want.
21
00:01:40,542 --> 00:01:43,677
Well, let me at least
help out. How about I do
some overtime work?
22
00:01:43,745 --> 00:01:46,680
No, no, no overtime work.
That counts as burden.
23
00:01:46,748 --> 00:01:48,682
You work 40 hours a week Max.
24
00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:51,485
And even then,
I want a lot of slacking off.
25
00:01:51,553 --> 00:01:54,721
You know, they put solitaire
on the computer for a reason.
26
00:01:54,789 --> 00:01:56,457
All right, well,
maybe I'll go online,
27
00:01:56,525 --> 00:01:58,225
you know,
read up baby-type stuff.
28
00:01:58,293 --> 00:02:00,628
See, there you go.
Now we're vibing, huh?
29
00:02:00,695 --> 00:02:02,129
It's gonna be ok,
my little...
30
00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:03,764
[Speaking gibberish]
31
00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:05,866
My little yummy,
yummy, yummy, my--
32
00:02:05,933 --> 00:02:07,668
all right, all right.
33
00:02:07,735 --> 00:02:10,137
If that continues,
I will beat you
with the blender.
34
00:02:10,205 --> 00:02:13,006
Whoa! There are the hormones.
Ok, killer.
35
00:02:20,248 --> 00:02:21,482
Sorry about that, kids.
36
00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:23,484
Just trying to shut off
the right circuit breaker.
37
00:02:23,552 --> 00:02:24,985
I don't know
that these old bones
38
00:02:25,053 --> 00:02:27,954
can handle
a 3rd electrocution.
39
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,392
He's near our wires.
Why is he near our wires?
40
00:02:31,459 --> 00:02:32,826
Uh, dad,
what are you doing?
41
00:02:32,894 --> 00:02:34,728
Pitching in.
What with the baby coming,
42
00:02:34,796 --> 00:02:37,665
I realize the contractor's
too expensive to keep on,
43
00:02:37,732 --> 00:02:39,433
but we still own
the materials,
44
00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:42,570
so I figured why not just
finish up the job myself?
45
00:02:42,637 --> 00:02:46,340
Um, maybe because you know
absolutely nothing
about construction?
46
00:02:46,408 --> 00:02:49,843
Is that so?
Well, for your information,
darling,
47
00:02:49,911 --> 00:02:52,580
I spent several months
working as a rivet boy
48
00:02:52,647 --> 00:02:54,548
on the empire state building.
49
00:02:54,616 --> 00:02:56,917
In addition
to doling out hot rivets,
50
00:02:56,984 --> 00:02:59,653
I would also delight and amuse
the workers
51
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:03,657
by dancing a lively jig
during break time.
52
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,293
You know what?
There's no rivets
or dancing involved here,
53
00:03:06,361 --> 00:03:07,461
so give it up, ok?
54
00:03:07,529 --> 00:03:09,830
Don't worry, Douglas,
I'm not on my own here.
55
00:03:09,897 --> 00:03:11,632
I have a step-by-step book
56
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:14,602
that will guide me
through the process.
57
00:03:14,669 --> 00:03:18,805
Ok, this is how to build
an outdoor barbecue pit.
58
00:03:20,308 --> 00:03:22,409
Granted, there'll be
some extrapolating.
59
00:03:22,477 --> 00:03:26,213
Dad, please be rational here.
You can't do this.
60
00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:28,315
Yes, I can.
No, you can't!
61
00:03:28,383 --> 00:03:31,852
For God's sakes,
you get reduced to tears
when you try to make popcorn!
62
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,055
Now come on,
just forget about this now.
63
00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:36,890
I'm sorry, darling.
I know you're right.
64
00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:39,159
It's just
so hard to accept.
65
00:03:39,227 --> 00:03:41,962
I was so close
to having my own bathroom,
66
00:03:43,164 --> 00:03:44,798
I could taste it.
67
00:03:49,671 --> 00:03:51,538
You know what, Arthur?
I'll, uh...
68
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,240
I'll finish it up for you, ok?
69
00:03:53,308 --> 00:03:54,475
Don't be silly, Douglas.
70
00:03:54,542 --> 00:03:56,644
You got way too much
on your plate already.
71
00:03:56,711 --> 00:03:58,011
Believe me, I want to.
72
00:03:58,079 --> 00:04:01,014
In fact, I'll pick up
the toilet on my way home, ok?
73
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,284
God bless you.
74
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:08,622
[Door opening]
75
00:04:10,191 --> 00:04:12,025
What up, little man?
76
00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,127
Not much.
77
00:04:14,195 --> 00:04:16,229
Listen, I'm gonna grab
a shower, but, um,
78
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:19,600
if one of your famous
grilled cheese sandwiches
met me with a towel,
79
00:04:19,668 --> 00:04:22,603
I wouldn't hate it,
you know what I'm saying?
80
00:04:23,571 --> 00:04:25,939
What's the matter?
81
00:04:26,007 --> 00:04:28,609
We need to talk.
Come. Sit.
82
00:04:30,044 --> 00:04:31,111
Ok.
83
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,549
Uh, what's up?
84
00:04:36,351 --> 00:04:37,618
I, uh...
85
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,654
Oh, this is hard.
86
00:04:40,722 --> 00:04:42,456
Come on. What is it?
87
00:04:42,524 --> 00:04:45,626
Ok, I--I just don't think
this--this is working out
for me.
88
00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,027
What isn't?
89
00:04:47,094 --> 00:04:50,130
This, this.
This thing that we're doing.
90
00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:54,234
Bro, I'm just crashing
on your couch
until Kelly lets me back.
91
00:04:54,302 --> 00:04:56,169
Exactly.
92
00:04:56,237 --> 00:04:58,439
A-and in the meantime,
I'm nothing more
than your servant.
93
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,841
I'm your doormat,
your m-Mr. belvedere.
94
00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:04,244
Is this about the other night?
I--I called to tell you
I wasn't coming home.
95
00:05:04,312 --> 00:05:06,213
I--I know, and thank you,
96
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:07,848
but I just...
97
00:05:07,915 --> 00:05:11,585
I feel like
I've got to get off
this emotional roller coaster.
98
00:05:13,287 --> 00:05:15,322
You want me to move out?
99
00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:18,826
I think it would be best
if you got all of your stuff
out tomorrow,
100
00:05:18,893 --> 00:05:22,429
and--and I'll make sure
to be out the whole day.
101
00:05:22,497 --> 00:05:25,999
I only have one suitcase,
and I never even unpacked it.
102
00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:28,201
I don't think
you have to be out at all.
103
00:05:28,269 --> 00:05:31,304
Well, I have to be out anyway
because of work.
104
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,875
Well, all right.
105
00:05:36,411 --> 00:05:38,278
Why don't I just
106
00:05:38,346 --> 00:05:40,046
[quavering]
Get started on that
grilled cheese sandwich?
107
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:54,094
Can I help you?
108
00:05:54,161 --> 00:05:56,897
Uh, yeah, I guess.
I mean, I am pregnant, so...
109
00:05:56,964 --> 00:06:00,066
Pregnant?
Oh, how wonderful!
110
00:06:00,134 --> 00:06:03,804
What a delightful,
wonderful miracle that is.
111
00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:06,691
Oh, well,
I'm just a few weeks along.
112
00:06:06,759 --> 00:06:08,727
I was getting some coffee
on my way home,
113
00:06:08,795 --> 00:06:10,695
and I saw this place
and I thought,
114
00:06:10,763 --> 00:06:13,097
why not stick a toe
in the water, right?
115
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:16,067
Yeah. Well, the first thing
you're gonna want to do
with that toe
116
00:06:16,135 --> 00:06:18,703
is have it talk the other toes
into kicking caffeine
117
00:06:18,771 --> 00:06:20,305
right out of your life.
118
00:06:20,372 --> 00:06:22,541
Oh, no, no.
You don't understand.
My coffee's the only thing
119
00:06:22,608 --> 00:06:25,777
that--that keeps me
from jumping in front
of the "e" train.
120
00:06:25,845 --> 00:06:27,045
I do understand,
121
00:06:27,112 --> 00:06:30,315
but that nasty old caffeine
gets into your tummy
122
00:06:30,382 --> 00:06:31,983
and then up
the umbilical cord,
123
00:06:32,051 --> 00:06:34,753
and, well,
the next thing you know,
you've got a hyperactive child
124
00:06:34,821 --> 00:06:36,922
who's tugging on your dress
screaming, "mommy, mommy!
125
00:06:36,989 --> 00:06:38,623
Look at me! Mommy!
Mommy! Look! Look!"
126
00:06:38,691 --> 00:06:40,391
Got it. Ok.
No more coffee.
127
00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:41,526
Great.
Ok.
128
00:06:41,594 --> 00:06:43,462
We've got
some great books here
129
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,029
on nutrition
for expectant mothers
130
00:06:45,097 --> 00:06:46,932
that are
an absolute must-have.
131
00:06:46,999 --> 00:06:49,501
Now, I assume
you're taking folic acid?
132
00:06:49,569 --> 00:06:52,671
Well, I took some
at a metallica concert once.
133
00:06:52,738 --> 00:06:55,707
Woke up the next day
in the parking lot
of a waldbaum's.
134
00:06:56,308 --> 00:06:57,408
[Laughing]
135
00:06:57,477 --> 00:06:58,844
I'm kidding.
136
00:06:58,911 --> 00:07:01,346
I mean, that did--
that did happen,
137
00:07:01,413 --> 00:07:04,415
but I know
that's not what you meant.
138
00:07:04,484 --> 00:07:08,019
Anyway, I--
I have an appointment
with my o.B/g.Y.N. Next week,
139
00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:09,821
and I'm sure
he'll clue me in.
140
00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:12,457
Right, but in the meantime
you want to get
a little checklist going, huh?
141
00:07:12,525 --> 00:07:14,559
See what this cute little
money pit's gonna run ya?
142
00:07:14,627 --> 00:07:16,194
Exactly.
Great. Where should we start?
143
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,696
Changing tables.
144
00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:20,164
Oh, you know what?
Actually, um, I don't think
I need one of those.
145
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:23,368
We have this old bureau
in the attic. I--I think
I'm just gonna use that.
146
00:07:23,435 --> 00:07:26,170
Does it have a lip on it?
147
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:29,173
I--I--I don't know.
Is that-- is that important?
148
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,676
Gosh, I don't know.
Let's see.
149
00:07:31,744 --> 00:07:33,879
Here I am,
changing my baby
150
00:07:33,946 --> 00:07:37,816
on the no-lip bureau
I saved, oh, $600 on.
151
00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:40,719
What's that? The phone?
Better get it.
152
00:07:42,855 --> 00:07:44,288
Well, hello there,
husband.
153
00:07:44,356 --> 00:07:46,257
No, I'm just changing
little wynona.
154
00:07:46,325 --> 00:07:48,860
We're...
Oh, God! Wynona, no!
155
00:07:49,629 --> 00:07:51,195
No! No! Why?
156
00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:53,331
What happened? What happened
to little wynona?
157
00:07:53,399 --> 00:07:56,902
She rolled off the edge
'cause there was no lip.
158
00:07:56,969 --> 00:08:00,371
Now she has to go to
special classes.
159
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,240
Ok. Got it.
Get a changing table.
160
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:03,542
Yeah.
Ok.
161
00:08:07,146 --> 00:08:08,747
So what brings you
to Gotham?
162
00:08:08,814 --> 00:08:10,649
You're here on business?
163
00:08:11,684 --> 00:08:13,618
Yes.
Oh. What do you do?
164
00:08:15,154 --> 00:08:16,320
I run c.B.S.
165
00:08:16,388 --> 00:08:18,757
Ah, c.V.S., nice.
166
00:08:18,824 --> 00:08:20,324
My wife shops there.
167
00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:22,861
In fact, she just picked up
a couple of 12-packs
of charmins.
168
00:08:22,929 --> 00:08:24,629
Saved a bundle.
169
00:08:24,697 --> 00:08:26,197
Good feeling, though,
170
00:08:26,265 --> 00:08:28,800
when you're all set with t.P.
For a few weeks, am I right?
171
00:08:28,868 --> 00:08:32,103
Not c.V.S., c.B.S.
172
00:08:32,171 --> 00:08:33,738
Oh, c.B.S.
173
00:08:34,941 --> 00:08:36,608
Hey, is that guy on Beckerreally blind?
174
00:08:36,676 --> 00:08:37,676
What's the deal?
175
00:08:38,744 --> 00:08:40,178
Gotcha. No problem.
176
00:08:40,245 --> 00:08:42,047
[Cell phone ringing]
177
00:08:43,082 --> 00:08:44,616
Hello.
Hi, hon, it's me.
178
00:08:44,684 --> 00:08:46,184
Hey, babe. How you feeling?
179
00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:48,787
Um, fine.
Well, I threw up this morning,
but that's normal.
180
00:08:48,854 --> 00:08:52,256
Hey, you had fruit loops.
That must have been
quite a show.
181
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,025
Ok, well,
I'm at the baby store.
182
00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:56,360
Fantastic.
There's this great
183
00:08:56,428 --> 00:08:59,297
changing table. I know
you don't know what it is,
but we'll need it.
184
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,299
[Whispering]
Tell him it has
a decorative lip.
185
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:04,302
It has a decorative lip.
Anyway, it's a display model
186
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:05,804
and we can get itfor a 3rd off.
187
00:09:05,871 --> 00:09:08,073
Well, if you think
that it's a good deal--
188
00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:11,442
hey! What are you doing?
You passed my building.
189
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:12,777
Uh, oops. Ok.
190
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:15,179
No problem.
I'll just swing around.
Sorry about that.
191
00:09:15,247 --> 00:09:16,848
All right,
order it if you want, ok?
192
00:09:16,916 --> 00:09:18,149
It's fine. I gotta go.
193
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,393
Douglas,
got a moment to chat?
194
00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:22,095
Hold--hold on one sec, ok?
195
00:09:22,163 --> 00:09:25,165
What did I say?
Heads inside!
196
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,332
[All clamoring]
197
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,135
What--what is it, Arthur?
198
00:09:28,202 --> 00:09:32,039
Uh, I'm a bit concerned
about the lack of progress
vis-a-vis the toilet.
199
00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:34,541
You know what?
I can't hear you.
You'll have to say it again.
200
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:37,044
The toilet!
The thing I don't have!
201
00:09:37,111 --> 00:09:40,180
Hold on one sec.
Pants on!
202
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:46,486
[Cell phone ringing]
203
00:09:46,554 --> 00:09:47,754
[Cutlery rattling]
204
00:09:47,822 --> 00:09:48,855
Yeah, hello?
205
00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:50,590
Are you married
to the decorative lip?
206
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:53,459
No, no, no, no, not at all.
Ok, then, bye.
207
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:54,828
♪[Music playing]
208
00:09:54,896 --> 00:09:56,596
[Cell phone ringing]
209
00:09:57,832 --> 00:09:58,832
Yeah?
210
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,001
You left another pallet
of two day's, man.
211
00:10:01,069 --> 00:10:03,336
Crap. All--all right,
thanks.
212
00:10:05,173 --> 00:10:06,506
[Cell phone ringing]
213
00:10:06,574 --> 00:10:07,574
[Chuckles]
214
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,076
What?
215
00:10:09,143 --> 00:10:12,345
So I guess the toilet is here
and I'm just missing it.
216
00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:14,614
Listen, I said
I would get it.
217
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:18,719
Now, stop calling me,
or the toilet will be
your new fedora.
218
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:24,490
Anger.
219
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,195
Young man, wake up.
220
00:10:28,262 --> 00:10:29,329
[Snoring]
221
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,464
We can't get out.
The doors are locked.
222
00:10:31,532 --> 00:10:33,666
Wake up.
Start the engine.
223
00:10:33,735 --> 00:10:36,669
Oh, Herman,
I-I'm frightened.
224
00:10:45,477 --> 00:10:49,648
Oh, coffee.
Coffee. Need coffee.
225
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,316
Oh, sweet wakey juice.
226
00:10:52,384 --> 00:10:54,853
Oh, oh, yeah.
227
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:58,356
[Gasps]
228
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:02,493
Oh, it's cold.
229
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,295
[Groans]
230
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:05,630
And decaf.
231
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,732
Ok, that was a miss-miss.
232
00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:11,002
(Arthur)
Douglas, is that you?
233
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,604
Yeah.
234
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,440
(Arthur)
Kindly step down here
for a moment.
235
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:20,712
Yeah, Arthur, what...
Oh, God.
236
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,448
Hello, Douglas.
237
00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:27,752
You, uh, you do understand
that's not connected, right?
238
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,588
Yes, but as you can see,
239
00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:32,958
there aren't a great many
seating options
available down here.
240
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,594
Sorry, I've been busy,
but I did bring the toilet in,
right?
241
00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:37,328
Yes, you did,
242
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,631
which I'm now
beginning to assume
was just to taunt me.
243
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:41,900
It wasn't to taunt you.
244
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,702
Well, then can you hook it up
tonight?
245
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:48,006
I can't tonight. I gotta drive
insane clown posse
to the v.H-1 awards.
246
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,041
Look, I don't understand
your street jargon,
247
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,977
but I do understand
there's a toilet here
248
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:55,046
with no conduit
to the ocean!
249
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:57,616
Arthur, I have a half an hour
before I have to leave
for work.
250
00:11:57,683 --> 00:12:00,051
If I don't lie down,
I'm gonna break
in a scary way.
251
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,185
(Carrie)
Doug, you home?
252
00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:02,353
Yeah, coming!
253
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:05,223
Wait! Where you going?
I'm on the brink of utopia.
254
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,290
Help me!
255
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,028
(Doug)
Where are you?
256
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:12,130
In my office.
Come on up.
257
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:17,102
Huh? Huh?
What do you think?
258
00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:18,937
What's--what's all this?
259
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,371
Our baby's room.
260
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,107
I want to see
how the furniture would fit,
261
00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:24,142
so I got a bunch
of empty boxes
from the supermarket.
262
00:12:24,209 --> 00:12:26,144
Oh! Shamaniqua
says congratulations
263
00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:28,513
and sends
a shout-out to you.
264
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,181
Oh, we--we got to go, honey.
Come on.
265
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,816
Wait. Wait.
Where we going?
266
00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:33,952
My obstetrician appointment.
You said you wanted to come,
right?
267
00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:38,422
[Doug exclaims]
268
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:41,026
Check it out, honey.
It's like the zamboni
at the ranger game.
269
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,661
[Imitating zamboni]
All right, Doug--
270
00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:45,096
♪[scatting]
271
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:46,264
Stop it.
272
00:12:46,331 --> 00:12:48,800
Yeah! All right.
273
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:53,104
All right,
blue, 395. Blue. Blue.
274
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:55,106
Would you stop it? Doug--
hut!
275
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,908
Stop it.
276
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:59,044
How much coffee have you had?
277
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,780
Just this one.
And the other 2.
278
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:04,683
All right, you know what,
sweetie? I love you
for bringing me here,
279
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,852
but why don't you head out
to work, ok?
You're making me nervous.
280
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,420
Besides,
you don't want to be late.
281
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:12,924
No sense in upsetting
an already insane clown posse.
282
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,759
All right,
sorry for the wait.
283
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,261
Oh, that's ok, Dr. linhardt.
This is my husband Doug.
284
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:18,863
Doug, hello.
285
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:20,832
It would seem congratulations
are in order.
286
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,734
Well, thanks, and to you.
287
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,503
Took me 2 whole dates
to get where
you're about to go.
288
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:26,838
I kid. I kid.
289
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:28,139
Ok, bye-bye, now.
290
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:30,175
All right, I gotta go.
I'm going. I'm going.
291
00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:32,110
Hey, you guys want
the door open or closed?
292
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,845
Again,
I kid. I kid.
293
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,014
[Sighs]
294
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,886
Oh, keys.
295
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:44,956
I just forgot...
296
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:52,864
Honey?
297
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,267
What happened?
298
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,069
Did we have the baby?
299
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,773
No. You passed out.
300
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:02,941
I did?
301
00:14:03,575 --> 00:14:05,409
[Exclaims]
302
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:07,746
Oh, well. Gotta go.
303
00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:08,913
Doug!
What?
304
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,448
Where are you going?
To work.
305
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:11,649
To work?
Yeah.
306
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:12,851
You just collapsed!
307
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,786
I didn't collapse.
That was a catnap.
308
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,588
Did me a world of good, too.
I'll see you tonight.
309
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,126
[Thudding]
310
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:24,963
Doug? Honey?
311
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,232
What happened?
312
00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:29,134
You passed out again.
313
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:32,003
Why am I in these?
314
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:37,008
Well, the doctor thought
it would be better
315
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,910
if you had your feet elevated
this time,
316
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,511
but you know what?
Take them down.
317
00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:43,514
It's starting to creep me out
a little bit.
318
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,184
All righty, well, once again,
I'll see you tonight, ok?
319
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,285
Doug!
What?
320
00:14:47,352 --> 00:14:49,020
Stop leaving.
321
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:51,189
I have work.
I've got to pick up
a car in astoria.
322
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,191
Doug, you are passing out
every 3rd step.
323
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:56,127
Astoria is a little ambitious,
ok?
324
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,930
Now, just tell me
what is going on with you?
325
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:01,199
I don't know!
326
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,334
Everything's changing, Carrie.
327
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,670
You know, 2 weeks ago
you were my beautiful,
sexy wife.
328
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:08,907
Now I walk in here,
and you're--you're not her
anymore.
329
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,375
You're--you're that,
330
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,213
and I'm Mr. that.
331
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:17,115
We're sitting there.
And filling out forms
332
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:18,549
"name of mother?
Name of father?"
333
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:20,118
I-I'm not even Doug anymore.
334
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,687
You realize that?
I'm "name of father."
335
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:24,088
I thought
you were Mr. that.
336
00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:25,990
Oh, yeah, yeah,
glad you're having fun
with this.
337
00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:27,792
Well, Doug, what do you
want me to say?
338
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,093
Everything's changing, yes.
339
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:30,561
Why is it all
dawning on you now?
340
00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:33,131
Because I never had time
for it to dawn on me before.
341
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,399
I was too busy
trying to shoulder you
into a good place.
342
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:37,435
Well, you made me
give you all the burden.
343
00:15:37,502 --> 00:15:40,538
I know, but because of that,
I never had a moment,
not one moment, to say,
344
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:43,041
"holy crap.
What's happening to us?"
345
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,976
You know what?
I'm saying it now.
346
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,378
Holy crap.
What's happening to us?
347
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,519
We're having a baby,
348
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:56,787
and it's gonna be ok.
349
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,189
Oh, shut up.
350
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,128
I'm serious. It is.
351
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:05,897
Why are you so sure now?
352
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,431
Because of you.
353
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,301
Me?
Mmm-hmm.
354
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:15,306
Watching you
these last couple of weeks,
355
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:18,709
seeing what you're willing
to put yourself through
356
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:22,613
for me, for our family,
357
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:26,985
I just realized, you know,
because we have you,
358
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:28,987
we're--we're gonna be ok.
359
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:36,361
I am pretty amazing, huh?
360
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,065
Hey, I let you
get me pregnant, right?
361
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,368
Only 7 or 8 guys
could say that.
362
00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:49,073
So you really--really think
we can pull this off?
363
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:50,975
I do,
364
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:54,745
but you know what?
You have to...
365
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:56,948
You have to give me
some of the burden back.
366
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,117
No, no. It's--it's--
I don't-- it's in the car.
367
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,019
I don't believe it is.
No. I don't have it.
368
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,853
I don't have it on me.
You give it to me!
369
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,588
Give it to me.
Give it to me right now.
370
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:05,890
Stop it! Leave me alone.
371
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,892
Give me the burden.
Give me the burden.
Come on, baby.
372
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,563
I'll come back.
373
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:17,969
[Doorbell ringing]
374
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,671
Huh. You, uh,
you expecting someone?
375
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,308
No, I canceled both my lovers
when I let you move back in.
376
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,076
[Laughing]
Good one.
377
00:17:30,515 --> 00:17:32,716
Hey, man.
Hey, deac. Hey, kel.
378
00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:34,185
Hey, Spence.
379
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,587
It's, uh, it's a little late.
What's up?
380
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:37,855
Oh, well,
381
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,924
you had some t-shirts
in the wash when you left.
382
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,392
I thought
you might need them.
383
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,294
Um, I'm all out of snuggle,
384
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:46,064
so those might be
a little rougher
than you're used to.
385
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,199
Thanks, man,
you didn't have to do this,
though.
386
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:51,602
Well, I felt kind of bad
with the way we left things.
387
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,137
No, no.
Don't be silly, man.
388
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:55,139
Kicking me out
was the best thing
that could've happened.
389
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:57,275
Kelly and I
are doing great now.
390
00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:58,709
Are you?
Yeah.
391
00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:00,678
Well, that's good.
392
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:04,415
Anything else, or...
393
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,951
Uh, no, I just dropped by
with the t-shirts
and a how-do.
394
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,553
All right, well, I guess
I'll catch you at coopers,
all right?
395
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,222
You got it.
All right, good night, man.
396
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,603
(Doug)
Carrie!
397
00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:26,737
Wife?
398
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,408
Wife! Wifey!
399
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:35,246
[Imitating Jerry lewis]
Wifey-lady person-thingie,
hello!
400
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,681
Here you are.
Check this out.
401
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:39,650
It's called
a receiving blanket,
402
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:45,089
and apparently,
it's perfect for "swaddling
our precious new baby."
403
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:48,092
Now all we have to do
is learn how to swaddle.
404
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,127
[Clears throat]
405
00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:52,096
What's the matter?
406
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,098
We're not going to be
needing that.
407
00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:56,867
What are you...
408
00:18:56,935 --> 00:19:00,138
I felt weird,
so I went back to the doctor.
I, um...
409
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,774
I, uh-- I lost it.
410
00:19:18,723 --> 00:19:19,690
Oh.
411
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:25,563
[Doug sighs]
412
00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:31,569
So are--are you ok?
413
00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:38,443
It's funny, you know,
the other day at the doctor
414
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:42,012
we were both in a good place
about this for the first time.
415
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,848
And... and now...
416
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,191
[Carrie sniffling]
417
00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:06,237
[Hammering]
418
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,306
Oh, that's it, Artie.
The dream
has become a reality.
419
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,408
Never thought
I'd live to see it.
420
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:13,211
Thank you, Douglas.
You did a wonderful job.
421
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,012
Looks good, right?
422
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,048
And I want to apologize
once again
for the cement incident.
423
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:20,184
Look, hey, we caught it
before anybody ate any.
424
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,919
That's the main thing.
425
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:25,156
So, uh,
how's Carrie doing?
426
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,024
She's--she's doing all right.
You know?
427
00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,026
I guess the good thing
that came of all this
428
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:31,095
is we know that
we really want
to have a baby,
429
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:32,730
so we're going to keep trying.
430
00:20:32,797 --> 00:20:35,666
That's the spirit. Don't let
the bastards get you down.
431
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:46,177
I'm not sure
what bastards you mean,
but thank you.
432
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,279
(Carrie)
Doug, everyone's here.
Come on!
433
00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:51,249
Hey, uh, we're going
to the movies, Arthur.
You want to come with us?
434
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,184
No, thanks, Douglas.
435
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,419
I think
I'll stay home tonight.
436
00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,789
Think I'll stay home.
437
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:02,226
Enjoy.
438
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:04,762
(Doug)
Ok, people,
439
00:21:04,829 --> 00:21:07,365
let's go eat
a dangerous amount
of milk duds.
440
00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:12,002
Sweetie, you should've
brought a jacket.
You'll get cold.
441
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:13,304
I'll be all right.
442
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:15,206
You always say that
and you wind up cold.
443
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,674
Honey, I'll be fine.
444
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:18,609
[Clears throat]
445
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:21,145
I'll keep the couch free.
446
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,434
[Toilet flushing]
447
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,238
(Arthur)
Now that's livin'.
448
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,510
♪[Music playing]
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