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When I glance over my notes and recordsof the cases solved...
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by the great detective, Dorlock Homes...
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one inevitably rises to mind:
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The Case of the Shropshire Slasher.
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It all began at our Beeker Street digs,one gloomy September night.
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A quiet enough evening as I recall it.
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Homes was moodily engagedin his favorite pastime: Deducting.
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Let's see now.
I can deduct £6 and 8 shillings...
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for magnifying glasses and gumshoes.
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Two guineas, sixpence
for entertaining footpads...
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pickpockets, and sneak thieves.
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Then there's cab fares
to and from murders.
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Watkins, in a moment
there will be a knock at the door...
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heralding the start of
The Mystery of the Shropshire Slasher.
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Answer it. My pants are caught on a nail.
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Don't touch that body!
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A clear case of Karrer poisoning...
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of one of Her Majesty's cold cream guards.
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Telegram.
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You would best have
that step fixed, governor!
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Just for that, you receive no gratuity.
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I could tell by his tense,eager expression...
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that Homes was bringing hisimmense faculties of observation to bear.
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By george, I've solved it!
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Have you now, Homes? That's ripping.
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Yes, by Jove, I can take my
old maiden Aunt Clotilda, as a dependent!
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As I read the message,I realized we were in for a rum go.
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It was 3:00 a.m. Precisely,when we left Beeker Street...
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on the trail of the Shropshire Slasher.
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It wasn't 10 minutes of the hour...
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when we approached a known hauntof the Shropshire Slasher.
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I may be down, but the jig is up.
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Clues.
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Lady Ashtabula,
the last time we met was at Ascot...
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was it not? Ascot not?
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You're still a fine figure of a woman.
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These look like a woman's fingerprints.
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Could it be possible
that the Shropshire Slasher is a...
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Alfy, this comb's annoying me.
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Is he now?
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Alfy, is it?
Where was you on the night of...
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He has eliminated him as a suspect.
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What will it be now, governors?
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- Hot buttered gin.
- Nut brown October ale, over the rocks.
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Trifle with me, will you,
you ruddy coastermongers!
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A clue!
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Really, Homes,
you never cease to amaze me.
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That weapon belongs to none other
than the Shropshire Slasher!
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Watch me and learn, Watkins.
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Amazing fellow.
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I say, old chap,
beastly weather we're having, what?
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Deny it if you dare!
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And deny, too,
that you're the Shropshire Slasher!
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Thought you could match wits
with the great Dorlock Homes, did you?
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Why, you fool.
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You poor chap, it's too...
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Me, you...
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Come along now, my man.
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We have an engagement
with Scotland Yard.
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Mustn't keep the bobbies waiting.
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Let's go.
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I think it only fair to warn you
that I have studied jujitsu.
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You may be big, but I'm small.
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I fail to see how you hope
to withstand my superior skill.
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Take over.
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Your name? Speak up, man.
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Shropshire Slasher.
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- Occupation?
- Shropshire Slasher.
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All right, Watkins,
enough of your bumbling.
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Bumbling upsets Homes no end.
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Very well, you rotter,
I'm going to tackle you a capello.
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I'm brown as a nut and fit as a lath.
Toy with me, will you?
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With my fierce energy, I'll...
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Do not take it amiss if I slap you silly.
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A bit rough on the Slasher,
but the foolish cove asked for it.
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You may resume
your interrogation, Watkins.
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Look, old boy,
how's about returning to prison?
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- There's a good chap.
- Yes, sir.
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I want to do what's right, I do.
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Care to buy some pretty pretties
for your doxie, governor?
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That does it! I'm gonna haul you in.
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Hawking dandelions without a license.
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Mother!
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Really?
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I promised the nice gentleman
I'd give myself up now, Mother.
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You always was a good boy, Slasher.
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Tell me, Homes, at what sort of school
did you learn to be a detective?
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Elementary, my dear Watkins.
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English
7122
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