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[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
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00:00:06,690 --> 00:00:11,190
Sex is the form
of expressing love.
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00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:13,030
AMANPOUR:
Berlin.
4
00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:14,610
Is it kinky?
5
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,240
Carnal capital of Europe.
6
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:19,040
LENA:
That was so good!
7
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,200
AMANPOUR:
Legendarily daring.
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00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,330
I want booty calls.
I want casual sex.
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00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:26,250
-Did your family go naked?
-Yeah. Sure.
10
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:29,340
AMANPOUR: And disciplined,
even when recreating.
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00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:30,800
-AMANPOUR: I love it!
-MAN: I don't know.
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00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,090
This is the city of love.
13
00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:35,930
What about the whole idea
of romantic love?
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00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:37,260
Do you have a good sex life?
15
00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:38,930
[ Laughs ]
16
00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:40,930
Are they having enough sex?
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-Exactly.
-[ Laughs ]
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[ Music continues ]
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[ Down-tempo music plays ]
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WOMAN:
[ Inhales sharply ]
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AMANPOUR:
Is it sexual?
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RUCKERT:
It can be.
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AMANPOUR: I've come to explore
sex and love in Berlin,
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and this is my initiation rite.
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Felix Ruckert's
Japanese rope class.
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Hup.
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[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
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00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:49,000
Now move your rope quick
and fluently.
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AMANPOUR: I thought dropping in
on a bondage workshop
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00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:56,260
would be a good entry into
the famously edgy Berlin scene.
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RUCKERT:
Tight, but not too tight.
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AMANPOUR: I was expecting
leather and chains
33
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:04,520
in dim basements,
not sunlight in yoga pants.
34
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,520
Give it a try?
35
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,270
[ Music continues ]
36
00:02:09,270 --> 00:02:10,730
You should enjoy it.
37
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What -- What I do for my art.
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RUCKERT:
Everything you have to do, huh?
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Awful.
Terrible job.
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Is this a punishment?
41
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No, no.
That's a reward.
42
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A reward.
[ Laughs ]
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It's a reward.
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00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,330
AMANPOUR: Just explain to me
what we're watching.
45
00:02:29,330 --> 00:02:30,830
-What is it?
-It is a workshop.
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So people come to learn
something,
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to get some new ideas.
48
00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:36,960
Of course, why people do that
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is many different reasons,
you know?
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00:02:39,130 --> 00:02:41,430
There's an aesthetic aspect,
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00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:43,350
a therapeutic aspect
for some people.
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Therapeutic?
In what way?
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Letting go of control, you know,
taking control.
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AMANPOUR:
Is pain involved?
55
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I heard a few, you know, groans.
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RUCKERT: I mean, you can make it
very comfortable.
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00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,910
It's like a hammock, you know,
if you put a lot of rope.
58
00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:06,790
And then it's more
about this floating feeling.
59
00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:10,660
But most people like that it
puts the body a bit in pieces,
60
00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:13,750
you know, like stretches you.
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It's something beautiful.
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There is something very alive.
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00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:25,010
The real personal, direct,
intimate meeting, you know?
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00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:26,680
Because that's what people
crave for,
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00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,020
and that's what they can
experience here.
66
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,940
And it does turn on
a lot of people.
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AMANPOUR: The atmosphere
in this room is really intense
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and surprisingly intimate.
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00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,860
There's no awkwardness here.
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Everyone's pursuing their goal
of getting turned on
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00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:49,750
in a disciplined, precise, and,
dare I say it, German way.
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Is it kinky?
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For me, yes.
But for some people, no.
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-It is kinky for you?
-For me, it's kinky.
75
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I do it because it turns me on.
I find it exciting.
76
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,550
So is it sexual for you?
Is it about sex?
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You're a bit obsessed with sex.
78
00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:05,720
-Yes, that's --
-You're coming back --
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00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,600
This is what this whole program
is about.
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I mean, for me, the question is,
are people happy
81
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with their sex life?
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Are they really fulfilled?
Are they getting what they want?
83
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And if you ask that question...
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AMANPOUR:
So I'm asking that question.
85
00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,190
RUCKERT: When I do a public talk
and I ask people,
86
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:22,740
you have at least 70%, 80%
87
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,320
not really happy
with what they have.
88
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They're not getting as much sex
as they want
89
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:27,870
and not the way they want it.
90
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-Seventy, eighty percent?
-I would say, yeah.
91
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,040
I mean, are you happy
with your sex life?
92
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,660
-It's a very good question.
-Yeah.
93
00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:35,040
-Yeah.
-And? So?
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Down-tempo music plays ]
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AMANPOUR:
Why Berlin?
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Well, Berlin has always been
a sexy city,
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a legendary cabaret scene...
99
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[ Music continues ]
100
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...a place that attracts people
looking to fulfill
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every sexual fantasy
and satisfy every fetish.
102
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[ Music slows, stops,
up-tempo music plays ]
103
00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:06,780
Given the city's pedigree,
104
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I want to know what sex is like
here.
105
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LENA: Where are you?
This is urgent. [ Laughs ]
106
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AMANPOUR:
For these two young women,
107
00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:19,170
sex is as uncomplicated
as sending a text.
108
00:05:19,170 --> 00:05:20,960
-LENA: It's a match.
-PAULETTA: Match!
109
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,380
"How's your Saturday?"
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A bit boring so far, but it's
gonna be a full moon tonight.
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[ Howls, laughs ]
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PAULETTA:
[ Laughs ]
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LENA: Oleg, Hagan, Andrew,
Lisa, Justin, Alex.
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AMANPOUR:
Of course, swiping left or right
115
00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:39,730
is a big part of romance
in the digital age.
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Sweet.
That's a match.
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AMANPOUR:
Like many of their generation,
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00:05:44,150 --> 00:05:46,820
Pauletta and Lena are looking
online for their dates.
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I've been trying to have
the smallest amount
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of words exchange.
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People are having sexual
intercourse with their dates.
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"Hi.
Where are you?
123
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:56,580
I can be there in 15 minutes."
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Guys are, like,
completely, like, astonished.
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So with like that, "Okay.
We could be having sex."
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We're wasting our time.
127
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:03,960
And this is just
meaningless blah-blah,
128
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,630
because I'm not really
interested in your job
129
00:06:06,630 --> 00:06:09,430
or in your future expectations
130
00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:12,260
or in being the mother
of your children, so...
131
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,180
AMANPOUR: But this will be
a Tinder date with a twist.
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PAULETTA: So, my idea was to cut
a hole here somewhere
133
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so we can put the hidden camera
here.
134
00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:23,650
AMANPOUR: Pauletta earns her
living as an adult-film maker,
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00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:28,530
and tonight she will secretly
film Lena's multiple hookups
136
00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:30,110
with both men and women.
137
00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:31,910
And then, with their consent,
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00:06:31,910 --> 00:06:35,620
the encounters will be turned
into a sort of reality porn film
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00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:36,950
and posted on the Internet.
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00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:38,330
LENA:
Oh, it's perfect.
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00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:40,960
AMANPOUR:
Pauletta calls it Tinderporn.
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PAULETTA: Yeah.
This is gonna work.
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This is so good.
Whoo!
144
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This is what happened.
145
00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:49,800
-[ Bell chimes ]
-[ Gasps ] Is that him already?
146
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,680
Go! Okay.
Let's put the camera on.
147
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[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
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00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:02,520
-That was so good!
-[ Laughs ]
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00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:03,520
Exciting!
150
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,520
[ Music continues ]
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00:07:06,530 --> 00:07:09,190
AMANPOUR: Pauletta, I've sort of
slipped into your movie here.
152
00:07:09,190 --> 00:07:11,700
What's Lena doing?
What's going on over there?
153
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So, right now,
I left her there tindering.
154
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The challenge is,
she has 12 hours
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00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,000
and needs to make
as many Tinder dates
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and sexual interactions
as possible.
157
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,750
Why do people want to do this?
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Oh, 'cause it's fun.
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[ Both laugh ]
160
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,340
And for me as a woman,
it's very freeing
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to be able to have a profile
and be out there being like,
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"Okay. I want booty calls.
I want casual sex."
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-And you do that?
-Yeah. Absolutely.
164
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-A lot?
-Uh, when I have time.
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I work a lot,
but when I have free time, yes.
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A cynic would say, "It doesn't
matter what you call it --
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00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:48,110
sex-positive
or feminist-friendly porn --
168
00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:50,690
It's still porn,
and porn is exploitative."
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00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:53,360
That is because pornography,
like any other industry,
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00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,950
is just a mirror of society.
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00:07:54,950 --> 00:07:56,410
So if we have a sexist society,
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we're gonna have
sexist pornography.
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00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,620
When you google "sex,"
the only thing you find
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00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:02,750
is these very violent,
very extreme things.
175
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:07,040
So boys are thinking, "Whoa.
That's the benchmark now."
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00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,670
Exactly, and the problem is
that people are not getting
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00:08:09,670 --> 00:08:11,130
proper sexual education.
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00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:12,800
If parents would talk
to their children openly,
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00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,090
without taboos, without shame,
and tell them,
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00:08:15,090 --> 00:08:16,720
"What you see here,
these two people
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00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,680
doing this sexual practice,
is a film.
182
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:19,680
It's not reality."
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00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,350
The same way
you tell your child,
184
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:22,850
"Superman doesn't really fly,
185
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,190
so you cannot just jump out
of the window and fly.
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00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:27,060
It's a film.
It's not reality."
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00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:29,980
If we would have open dialogue,
that wouldn't be a problem.
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So do I sound like a prude when
I'm asking you these questions?
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00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,780
-No, not at all.
-[ Laughs ]
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00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:37,570
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
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-Let's go!
-Let's do it!
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You're on your own now.
Good luck. Be safe.
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00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,370
I will.
194
00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:45,250
-Ta.
-AMANPOUR: As Lena headed off
195
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:48,250
on her way to one
of her five hookups that night,
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00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:52,170
I couldn't help feeling
the generation gulf.
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00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:55,130
Couldn't have been easier,
honestly.
198
00:08:55,130 --> 00:08:56,720
"Come here.
Kiss me."
199
00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,510
PAULETTA: Time is running,
but we have like 90 minutes.
200
00:09:00,510 --> 00:09:03,060
-So we're gonna rock it.
-Whoo!
201
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:06,230
AMANPOUR: I can see that these
young women are fully in control
202
00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:07,810
of their sexuality,
203
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:10,400
and they treat sex
more like many men would.
204
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,110
How you doing, babes?
205
00:09:13,110 --> 00:09:14,440
AMANPOUR:
As someone disinclined
206
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,740
to record my own
sexual pastimes...
207
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,530
Oh, my God.
That was so funny.
208
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:21,030
AMANPOUR: ...I have to wonder
what sex is like
209
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:22,740
for the rest of this city.
210
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:26,670
Are other Berliners having
this much action?
211
00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:30,460
[ Strauss' "Blue Danube" waltz
plays ]
212
00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:37,050
AMANPOUR: Berliners take
their sex very seriously,
213
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:41,560
and not just in the cabarets
or the clubs and the sex shops.
214
00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:44,600
The world's first
sex research institute
215
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,600
was established here in 1919.
216
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,860
It was founded
by Magnus Hirschfeld,
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00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:52,650
and it was a safe space
for Germans to open up
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00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,530
and learn about all matters
of sex.
219
00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:58,700
[ Music slows, stops,
mid-tempo march plays ]
220
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:01,030
But all this
progressive sexuality
221
00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:02,830
was too much for Hitler.
222
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:05,700
Amid the horrors
of the Third Reich,
223
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:09,000
the Nazis burnt this institute
and all its archives
224
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,330
to the ground.
225
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,460
But today the old spirit
is back.
226
00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:18,090
It's alive and well
on German public television
227
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:19,550
every Monday night.
228
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:26,680
While Americans laugh along
with late-night talk shows,
229
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,600
Berliners are watching
Ann-Marlene Henning
230
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,730
unravel the mysteries of a
very different kind of pleasure.
231
00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:35,320
She uses props
and graphic videos
232
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,900
so couples can better understand
233
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:41,070
how to give each other
the best possible experience.
234
00:10:41,490 --> 00:10:43,580
So is Germany as open
as we all think?
235
00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:46,120
Maybe we could say
there's a lot of sexuality,
236
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,370
sex shops, and also
television shows and all that.
237
00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:50,960
But there are still things
to be done,
238
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,000
because there's this
new conservatism going on
239
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,460
that we shouldn't talk about sex
again
240
00:10:56,460 --> 00:10:58,010
and women back to the houses.
241
00:10:58,010 --> 00:11:00,180
But there's enough people --
more people --
242
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,220
who doesn't like it.
243
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:03,010
So I say let's talk.
244
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:06,600
AMANPOUR: And her brand of frank
sex talk is finding an audience
245
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,600
among a generation
that's more comfortable texting
246
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,190
than talking.
247
00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:13,270
What are the big issues
in this generation?
248
00:11:13,270 --> 00:11:15,150
All we hear about
is planet porn.
249
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:18,530
I think they kind of imitate
because that's what they see
250
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:20,740
four to six years
before they have real sex.
251
00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:22,820
But they think about it
in a different way.
252
00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:25,780
They know it's not
the normal sex.
253
00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:27,660
I try to show the real stuff.
254
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:30,210
And that's more calm.
This is down to earth.
255
00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:34,580
So Generation Porn --
I call them Generation Longings.
256
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:35,840
They long for something.
257
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,460
They can feel
that this is wrong.
258
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:41,880
What I'm beginning to learn
is that it's not just about sex.
259
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,930
-It's about communication.
-Yes.
260
00:11:43,930 --> 00:11:47,220
That's one of my biggest things.
Talk about it. It's so easy.
261
00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:48,970
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
262
00:11:48,970 --> 00:11:50,310
And it can be fun.
263
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,480
And then you're in real contact
with another person,
264
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,730
and then the sex gets better.
265
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:57,070
The love --
You can feel the love.
266
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,360
Are they having enough sex?
267
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,610
They claim all the time
268
00:12:02,610 --> 00:12:05,780
that they have 2.6 times
a week.
269
00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:08,160
And I don't believe it,
because --
270
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,500
-I don't believe it either.
-Exactly.
271
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:11,790
Why don't you believe it?
272
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:13,870
Because I don't have 2.6 a week.
273
00:12:13,870 --> 00:12:17,290
And that's the thing --
What is sex?
274
00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:18,670
Penetrative sex
275
00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:22,300
or maybe also with yourself,
masturbating?
276
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:26,140
And then I claim
2.6 a week might be right.
277
00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:31,680
Because I had sex this week --
with me, also.
278
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,890
[ Both laugh ]
279
00:12:34,730 --> 00:12:37,360
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
280
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,360
AMANPOUR: But what happens
when this tolerant, open,
281
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,490
public conversation about sex
is joined by people
282
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:46,530
coming from a much more
conservative tradition?
283
00:12:48,450 --> 00:12:52,700
Germany has recently taken in
more than a million refugees.
284
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,370
The majority
are young Muslim men
285
00:12:54,370 --> 00:12:59,750
who arrive with very different
ideas of how the sexes interact.
286
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:03,340
To head off at least some
of the culture clash,
287
00:13:03,340 --> 00:13:07,720
Germans are trying to integrate
the newcomers to their new home.
288
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,600
There are language classes,
civics courses.
289
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,770
And then there's this.
290
00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:14,940
My Arabic? It's nonexistent.
291
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:17,150
AMANPOUR: Karoline Heine
is a young sexologist,
292
00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:19,770
and she's teaching sex ed
to these refugees.
293
00:13:19,770 --> 00:13:21,610
I only know two words.
294
00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:24,150
I only know marhaba (hello)
and mehbar.
295
00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:25,030
What?
296
00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:25,820
Mehbar.
297
00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:28,450
It's the word for vagina?
298
00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:29,910
Mahbar!
299
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,240
Ah, mahbar.
300
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,080
Or koos.
301
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,500
[ Laughter ]
302
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,330
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
303
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:40,130
HEINE: In 2015,
all these newcomers came,
304
00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:43,340
and all the people who work
with these young people
305
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:44,710
were like, "Oh, my God.
306
00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:49,340
"Now we have to handle this very
difficult topic, sexuality."
307
00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:53,850
They were very unsure
how to handle this "hot topic."
308
00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:58,690
And so I just started to do
and try this out.
309
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:00,190
And...Yeah.
310
00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:02,820
Make a choice.
311
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:06,860
What is that?
312
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,740
A penis?
313
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:10,950
That is a vibrator.
314
00:14:12,870 --> 00:14:15,750
But the battery is dead.
315
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:17,870
What is that?
316
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:20,330
I have no idea.
317
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:24,090
Do you remember the word
clitoris?
318
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:27,510
This spot is very sensitive.
319
00:14:27,510 --> 00:14:29,550
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
320
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:30,970
I'll say a word
321
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:33,100
and you tell me
what you associate with that.
322
00:14:33,510 --> 00:14:34,600
Kissing.
323
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,390
Kissing.
Yes, it's something nice.
324
00:14:37,390 --> 00:14:39,310
The Prophet said something
about that.
325
00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:43,400
You have to start with this and
not just get on with the sex.
326
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,780
Pornography.
327
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:50,240
In our religion,
328
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,410
it's totally, totally forbidden.
329
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:53,870
We must not watch it.
330
00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:56,870
Another word, orgasm.
331
00:14:57,370 --> 00:15:00,330
No idea what that is, honestly.
332
00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:06,500
It's the moment during sex
when you climax.
333
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,760
And who has it first?
334
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,090
The man or the woman?
335
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:11,970
That depends.
336
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,560
Talking about this topic,
it is completely new for them.
337
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:21,060
What I try to do in the sessions
is to get a good conversation,
338
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:23,770
because it is very,
very interesting for me
339
00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:25,230
to learn from them,
340
00:15:25,230 --> 00:15:28,900
to hear from them their opinion
on Germany.
341
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:32,030
I heard that at school
342
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:34,160
you get practical lessons...
343
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,830
practical lessons in sex.
344
00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:38,160
Is that correct?
345
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,120
No, no! God, no! No!
346
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:43,120
That's absolutely wrong!
347
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,500
[ Laughter ]
348
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,340
AMANPOUR: The interest
these young men have
349
00:15:47,340 --> 00:15:50,220
in learning about sex
is pretty universal.
350
00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:53,840
And so perhaps sex ed can become
an unlikely bridge
351
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,350
between the cultures.
352
00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:59,680
Is it strange to speak
about these things with a woman?
353
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,980
Not anymore.
354
00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:08,400
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
355
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,740
AMANPOUR: In Berlin, sex
and nudity are out in the open
356
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,700
and on display.
357
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:16,950
But for Zohre Esmaeli,
358
00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:19,540
one of Germany's hottest
fashion models,
359
00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:23,000
the road to the runway began
with the defiant act
360
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,750
of removing her head scarf.
361
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,340
And no one was more surprised
than I was
362
00:16:29,340 --> 00:16:31,760
to see this refugee
from Afghanistan
363
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,090
become the nation's newest
ambassador for tolerance
364
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:36,680
and openness,
365
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,720
taking over that role from
the much more typical German,
366
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,770
blond, blue-eyed supermodel
Claudia Schiffer.
367
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,020
[ Music continues ]
368
00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:46,980
AMANPOUR:
You come from Afghanistan.
369
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,310
You escape the Taliban.
370
00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:49,690
The most repressive,
371
00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:52,400
the most covered-up,
conservative society.
372
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:56,990
And you come here and you do
something completely Western --
373
00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:58,660
the fewest amount of clothes,
374
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,950
the most putting yourself
out there.
375
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:04,580
At what point did you realize
that actually to be a woman
376
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:06,670
was something
completely different
377
00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:10,090
than what you'd grown up
thinking it meant to be a woman?
378
00:17:10,090 --> 00:17:11,420
I can explain.
379
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:14,840
Before I come to Germany,
I was not a normal girl.
380
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,260
I always wanted to play
with the guys outside,
381
00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:19,430
with my brother.
382
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,220
I wanted to be always man
383
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:22,770
because they had
so much freedom.
384
00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:27,190
I didn't like the burka
or scarf, all these things.
385
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:29,940
AMANPOUR: Did you used to wear
yours in Afghanistan, the burka?
386
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,150
ESMAELI:
Yes.
387
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:34,070
But when I was discovered
as a model,
388
00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:36,240
it was the beginning
to understand
389
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,610
what is to be a woman,
390
00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:40,700
how you can use
your woman power.
391
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,990
To be feminine?
392
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:45,290
What you have, what
the God gave you in your body.
393
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,460
AMANPOUR: Zohre's culture
values strict modesty,
394
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:53,050
and removing her head scarf
took courage.
395
00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:54,590
But a career in modeling
396
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:56,800
would mean revealing
a whole lot more.
397
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,680
For me, it was not easy
to work as a model for lingerie.
398
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,180
I can remember one day,
I was very sad.
399
00:18:03,180 --> 00:18:07,520
I called my friend and said,
"I make a picture in lingerie,
400
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,690
and I feel like God
doesn't like me."
401
00:18:09,690 --> 00:18:12,900
And she told me, "Zohre, look.
402
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:16,190
God is so busy with
other people or terrorists.
403
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:18,280
You are the end of them,
you know?"
404
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,660
[ Both laugh ]
405
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:21,830
So kind of thank God you left.
406
00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:24,700
I think it was the best thing
what happened in my life.
407
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:27,790
I understand what is the meaning
of life --
408
00:18:27,790 --> 00:18:31,000
to be a human, to have freedom.
409
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,710
I think modeling was not
for me just a job.
410
00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:36,630
It was the vehicle
that let you find your freedom.
411
00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:38,090
-Exactly. Exactly.
-Yeah.
412
00:18:38,090 --> 00:18:40,970
And you're the world's only
Afghan supermodel.
413
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:43,300
-Model. Just a model.
-Model. [ Laughs ]
414
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:45,310
Not supermodel.
415
00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:47,850
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
416
00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:51,020
AMANPOUR: Zohre found
her freedom in Berlin
417
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:54,400
on the journey from the burka
to the bikini.
418
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,980
And she's in good company.
419
00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:59,490
Berliners have always sought
freedom of expression.
420
00:18:59,490 --> 00:19:02,070
And on the eastern side
of the Berlin Wall,
421
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:04,620
they found their own route
to liberation
422
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:06,240
by stripping down even further
423
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,170
and in doing so
slyly raising the middle finger
424
00:19:10,170 --> 00:19:12,960
to their communist oppressors.
425
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,550
My driver, Patrick, is taking me
to visit the next generation
426
00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:18,550
of this naked truth.
427
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:21,590
You're taking me to FKK.
428
00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:24,140
[ Chuckles ]
Freikoerperkultur.
429
00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:26,310
Freikoerperkultur.
430
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:29,020
-Free body culture.
-What is that?
431
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:34,020
It's a club where the people
are living in all situations
432
00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:35,360
without clothes.
433
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,320
[ Film projector clicking ]
434
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,570
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
435
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,610
AMANPOUR:
Free body culture dates back
436
00:19:42,610 --> 00:19:45,370
to the 19th century in Germany.
437
00:19:45,370 --> 00:19:46,830
Its credo is basically,
438
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:50,620
"Free your body,
and your mind will follow."
439
00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:59,130
How normal was that for you
growing up in Germany,
440
00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:02,090
this whole naked thing?
441
00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:04,840
In the eastern side,
it was totally normal.
442
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,470
In western Germany,
it's not so relaxed.
443
00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:08,720
Did your family go naked?
444
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,430
Yeah. Sure.
Always.
445
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:14,600
So first time meeting
my girlfriend,
446
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:15,940
my parents was naked.
447
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:18,110
-Went, "Hello."
-And was she naked?
448
00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:19,480
Yeah. Sure.
It was on the beach.
449
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,780
It's really weird.
450
00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:22,860
[ Laughs ]
It was normal in the east.
451
00:20:22,860 --> 00:20:25,780
It was a small piece of freedom
the people have.
452
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:28,280
You were free just to express
your body.
453
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,200
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
454
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,460
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
455
00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:36,080
[ Man speaking German ]
456
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:40,170
AMANPOUR: There are clubs
like this all over the country.
457
00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:42,920
But as a product of a British
convent boarding school --
458
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,180
all buttoned down
and covered up --
459
00:20:45,180 --> 00:20:48,640
this kind of thing is still
a bit of a curiosity for me --
460
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,060
people who are just fine
with publicly flaunting
461
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:55,400
what to most are really
their private parts.
462
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,400
[ Music continues ]
463
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,480
-Hi.
-VINCENT: Hi.
464
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,480
So, can I join you?
465
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,860
-Sure. Welcome.
-Hi.
466
00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:04,150
Hi.
Nice to see you.
467
00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:06,820
A little strange for me,
I have to confess.
468
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:08,200
But you know what?
I'm gonna get into it.
469
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,200
-Yeah. Come on.
-Shall I strip too?
470
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,160
Yeah.
471
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,620
[ Music continues ]
472
00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:16,750
That's about all
I can get away with.
473
00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:18,040
Okay.
So...
474
00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:22,340
-Vincent.
-Yeah?
475
00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:25,760
Is it kind of weird
playing Ping-Pong in the nude?
476
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,510
It really isn't for me.
I'm used to it.
477
00:21:28,510 --> 00:21:30,810
But why do you do it?
478
00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:32,770
-I like the freedom of it.
-Really?
479
00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:34,310
Is it weird for you watching?
480
00:21:34,310 --> 00:21:36,190
Not really,
because I've sort of --
481
00:21:36,190 --> 00:21:38,690
It's obviously weird, because
I'm throwing it into the net.
482
00:21:38,690 --> 00:21:40,690
But tell me about the freedom.
483
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:42,980
I like the idea of the freedom.
484
00:21:42,980 --> 00:21:45,320
'Cause it's not about sex,
is it?
485
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,780
It isn't.
486
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:49,160
There's other ways where people
can be sexual.
487
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,120
The world is full of it
right now.
488
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:56,000
And this is kind of a niche
where you can still be naked
489
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,370
and like your naked body
490
00:21:57,370 --> 00:22:01,170
without this part
of all the sexual stuff.
491
00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:04,670
Which is a very nice thing --
to be happy with your body.
492
00:22:04,670 --> 00:22:06,760
That's actually
an interesting point,
493
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,380
because everybody's obsessed
494
00:22:08,380 --> 00:22:11,050
with their bodies these days,
especially in relationships.
495
00:22:11,050 --> 00:22:13,350
People think,
"Oh, I've got to look this way
496
00:22:13,350 --> 00:22:16,100
in order for somebody
to find me attractive."
497
00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:18,060
But that doesn't exist
in this group.
498
00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:20,520
-No. No, it's not the point.
-No.
499
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,320
It's not, like, buff and
body building and showing off.
500
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,360
No, it's not.
501
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:28,070
So why is it so central
to freedom?
502
00:22:28,070 --> 00:22:28,950
Why?
503
00:22:28,950 --> 00:22:32,080
I think if you're, like,
dressed,
504
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,370
then you can also have,
like, styles.
505
00:22:35,370 --> 00:22:37,910
But if you're naked,
you're all equal, right?
506
00:22:37,910 --> 00:22:40,830
So it makes you also aware
of your own body,
507
00:22:40,830 --> 00:22:43,380
and this really helps
to free your mind.
508
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:46,550
AMANPOUR:
Vincent's a biochemist,
509
00:22:46,550 --> 00:22:49,510
and it clearly brings
a deep sense of satisfaction
510
00:22:49,510 --> 00:22:52,300
for him to break out
of this convention.
511
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:53,510
Aw!
Damn!
512
00:22:53,510 --> 00:22:55,140
And it got me wondering
513
00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:58,560
whether Germany's FKK acts
as a great leveler in some way.
514
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,190
The ability to get over body
image surely must play a role
515
00:23:02,190 --> 00:23:04,440
in what I'm seeing
here in Berlin,
516
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,440
which is a very honest
and open attitude
517
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:11,950
towards intimacy
and love and sex too.
518
00:23:16,490 --> 00:23:18,960
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
519
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,380
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
520
00:23:30,380 --> 00:23:35,600
For me, sex is as important
as food or water is.
521
00:23:37,180 --> 00:23:40,180
It's like the most natural
instinct,
522
00:23:40,180 --> 00:23:43,270
what pushes us forward.
523
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:50,070
Sex is the form of expressing
love and love for life.
524
00:23:50,070 --> 00:23:52,950
[ Music continues ]
525
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,950
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
526
00:23:57,950 --> 00:24:00,200
[ Horn blares ]
527
00:24:02,540 --> 00:24:04,790
AMANPOUR: Zohre was born
into one culture,
528
00:24:04,790 --> 00:24:08,420
but she's been thrown into
this one, and she embraces it.
529
00:24:08,420 --> 00:24:11,880
I was curious to know
how she's handled relationships
530
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,470
in this city.
531
00:24:13,470 --> 00:24:16,850
I want to ask you
about your love life.
532
00:24:16,850 --> 00:24:18,930
-[ Laughs ]
-Yes, you can.
533
00:24:18,930 --> 00:24:20,560
What does it mean to be loved?
534
00:24:20,980 --> 00:24:25,860
I see the real love when the
person accepts you how you are
535
00:24:25,860 --> 00:24:27,440
without changing you.
536
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,780
I discovered real love
in Germany.
537
00:24:29,780 --> 00:24:33,610
And I think, when I stayed
at home in Afghanistan,
538
00:24:33,610 --> 00:24:39,160
I-I could never understand
what mean real love.
539
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,540
AMANPOUR:
We're on our way
540
00:24:41,540 --> 00:24:44,500
to see new refugees
from Afghanistan
541
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:47,380
who are just starting out
their life here.
542
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,500
Zohre sees herself
as their culture coach,
543
00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:52,760
and she's using
her own experience
544
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,340
to try to help them navigate
545
00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:57,470
what is really unfamiliar
territory.
546
00:24:57,470 --> 00:25:00,510
And what about the whole idea
of romantic love?
547
00:25:00,510 --> 00:25:03,850
I think in Afghanistan,
like, to be romantic
548
00:25:03,850 --> 00:25:05,730
doesn't exist, you know?
549
00:25:05,730 --> 00:25:07,730
-Holding hands, kissing.
-Holding hands --
550
00:25:07,730 --> 00:25:08,940
No. Nothing.
No.
551
00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:12,030
I think they miss a big emotion.
552
00:25:12,030 --> 00:25:16,200
They don't understand
how you can enjoy the real sex.
553
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,450
I think for them,
it's like, "Okay.
554
00:25:18,450 --> 00:25:21,200
Inside, outside, have kids."
555
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,450
You mean "in, out, and kid"?
556
00:25:22,450 --> 00:25:23,700
-Yeah.
-[ Laughs ]
557
00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:25,080
And you see they have kid.
558
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,210
You can say, "Okay.
They had sex."
559
00:25:27,210 --> 00:25:30,090
So there's no sense
of enjoyment?
560
00:25:30,090 --> 00:25:33,170
No. No.
Really, I ask some people --
561
00:25:33,170 --> 00:25:34,760
I don't want to tell their name,
562
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,300
because I have a different
experience and I'm very happy
563
00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:42,810
because every human have
the right to enjoy the real sex.
564
00:25:42,810 --> 00:25:44,770
They told me, "No.
565
00:25:44,770 --> 00:25:47,270
We don't understand
what you're talking about.
566
00:25:47,270 --> 00:25:49,440
We don't have this kind
of experience."
567
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,020
-You mean pleasure?
-Yeah, pleasure.
568
00:25:51,020 --> 00:25:54,650
I don't want to tell them,
"Oh, you missed something."
569
00:25:54,650 --> 00:25:57,700
But...Yeah.
570
00:26:00,410 --> 00:26:01,780
AMANPOUR:
This was a school
571
00:26:01,780 --> 00:26:04,000
that's been turned into
a refugee camp
572
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,330
in the heart of Berlin.
573
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,750
And for now, it's home for Lina
574
00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:10,670
and her husband, Hanif,
their two children,
575
00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,000
and her in-laws.
576
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,670
Thank you.
577
00:26:13,670 --> 00:26:16,170
AMANPOUR: I have reported on
people fleeing war and crises
578
00:26:16,170 --> 00:26:19,390
throughout my career,
and I've always wanted to ask
579
00:26:19,390 --> 00:26:22,010
about how they manage
to maintain
580
00:26:22,010 --> 00:26:23,560
what makes us all human --
581
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,180
relationships, love,
and intimacy.
582
00:26:27,180 --> 00:26:30,730
[ Singing in native language ]
583
00:26:32,060 --> 00:26:34,480
AMANPOUR: All three generations
of this family
584
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,990
are sharing this small space,
and privacy is scarce.
585
00:26:39,530 --> 00:26:41,370
You've got a 4-year-old,
a 6-year-old.
586
00:26:41,370 --> 00:26:43,530
You've got a new daughter
coming.
587
00:26:43,530 --> 00:26:46,290
I just want to ask you
one personal woman question.
588
00:26:46,290 --> 00:26:50,540
Here you are in one room
in a camp,
589
00:26:50,540 --> 00:26:53,340
and you have to have
husband-wife relations.
590
00:26:53,340 --> 00:26:54,920
You're pregnant.
591
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,470
How difficult is it
to do that here
592
00:26:58,470 --> 00:27:01,300
with everybody in the same room
and...
593
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:03,260
-What?
-[ Laughter ]
594
00:27:03,260 --> 00:27:04,470
ESMAELI:
That's a good question,
595
00:27:04,470 --> 00:27:06,600
but I don't know
if you'll get the answer.
596
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,980
She says, "You are pregnant
in the camp."
597
00:27:10,980 --> 00:27:13,400
[ Laughter ]
598
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,490
We managed to conceive our child
here.
599
00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:19,820
It's a gift from God.
600
00:27:19,820 --> 00:27:21,860
AMANPOUR: So in this room,
you got pregnant?
601
00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:23,280
We were here.
602
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,330
No one ever asked this question!
603
00:27:30,330 --> 00:27:32,630
Do you mind me asking you
these questions?
604
00:27:32,630 --> 00:27:35,000
Too late, you asked already!
605
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,340
[ Laughter ]
606
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,010
In Lina and Leila's culture,
607
00:27:40,010 --> 00:27:43,680
sex and love
are extremely private matters,
608
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:47,390
and even talking about them
openly is taboo.
609
00:27:47,390 --> 00:27:48,890
You have one son.
610
00:27:48,890 --> 00:27:52,900
What did you tell him
about love, about marriage,
611
00:27:52,900 --> 00:27:56,480
about courting
and getting a wife?
612
00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:00,860
I was expected to find
a good lady for him.
613
00:28:00,860 --> 00:28:03,530
It was her duty to find him
a woman, and she did.
614
00:28:03,530 --> 00:28:05,030
-ESMAELI: She did.
-Dear Lina.
615
00:28:05,030 --> 00:28:06,490
Exactly.
616
00:28:06,490 --> 00:28:08,040
What expectations did you have?
617
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,960
When I got married,
618
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,920
my mother advised me
to get along well
619
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,290
with my in-laws and my husband.
620
00:28:17,290 --> 00:28:20,550
She told me not to fight
with them.
621
00:28:20,550 --> 00:28:22,760
First, your in-laws!
622
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,850
First of all, you have to
take care of the parents
623
00:28:25,850 --> 00:28:28,760
of the man
and then your husband.
624
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,980
And what about herself,
her own happiness?
625
00:28:30,980 --> 00:28:34,270
Were you ever told that you also
have a right to be happy,
626
00:28:34,270 --> 00:28:35,310
to be loved?
627
00:28:35,310 --> 00:28:36,770
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
628
00:28:36,770 --> 00:28:39,320
This is not in our culture
till now.
629
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,610
I can explain you.
630
00:28:40,610 --> 00:28:42,490
When you're married
in Afghanistan,
631
00:28:42,490 --> 00:28:43,610
you don't marry the guy.
632
00:28:43,610 --> 00:28:45,030
You've married all the family.
633
00:28:45,030 --> 00:28:46,740
You have to wash.
You have to cook.
634
00:28:46,740 --> 00:28:49,990
Is that what you expected?
Is that what you want?
635
00:28:49,990 --> 00:28:53,790
I wanted a future
that all girls want.
636
00:28:53,790 --> 00:28:57,210
To have a happy marriage
and to have children.
637
00:28:57,210 --> 00:28:59,380
I wanted this happiness.
638
00:28:59,380 --> 00:29:04,010
She say, "Every woman,
every girl want like this,
639
00:29:04,010 --> 00:29:05,050
how I am.
640
00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:08,100
To have a good life,
to have kids."
641
00:29:08,100 --> 00:29:11,100
I think when the horizon
is not big,
642
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:14,480
to ask this question
about happiness, it's scared.
643
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,020
She looks scared right now.
644
00:29:16,020 --> 00:29:18,860
I think we have to be careful
with this question.
645
00:29:18,860 --> 00:29:20,690
-That is so interesting.
-Yes.
646
00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:23,150
That is a dangerous question.
647
00:29:23,150 --> 00:29:24,700
Wow.
648
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,250
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
649
00:29:35,460 --> 00:29:39,130
Berlin has its kinky streak
for those who dare.
650
00:29:39,130 --> 00:29:41,920
And sex in all its
shapes and forms
651
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:45,260
is just on the other side
of the door.
652
00:29:45,630 --> 00:29:47,180
LADY MERCEDES:
People come to Avalon
653
00:29:47,180 --> 00:29:49,760
basically because
they want to have
654
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:54,930
a sexual experience, of course,
to have a fantasy fulfilled.
655
00:29:54,930 --> 00:29:57,270
[ Music continues ]
656
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:03,780
The average client is,
I would say, mid-40s,
657
00:30:03,780 --> 00:30:06,200
in very good positions,
658
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:10,950
mostly married men
who in that outside world
659
00:30:10,950 --> 00:30:17,160
lead others and are under
very high pressure.
660
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,750
Here is the place
where they give up completely
661
00:30:19,750 --> 00:30:25,170
and they don't decide anything,
because we rule their world.
662
00:30:25,170 --> 00:30:27,300
[ Music stops ]
663
00:30:28,340 --> 00:30:33,720
In Germany, the dominatrix is
not having sex with her client.
664
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,680
So we have other ways.
665
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,190
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
666
00:30:38,190 --> 00:30:41,730
There are hundreds
of possibilities...
667
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,690
...thousands of fantasies.
668
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,740
AMANPOUR: Here, sex is stripped
down to its essentials,
669
00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:54,330
a physical experience removed
from the trappings of love.
670
00:30:57,410 --> 00:30:59,670
[ Indistinct conversations ]
671
00:30:59,670 --> 00:31:01,330
But back in the real world,
672
00:31:01,330 --> 00:31:05,130
where people have families
and jobs and mortgage payments,
673
00:31:05,130 --> 00:31:07,510
does Berlin's kink
filter through?
674
00:31:07,510 --> 00:31:11,260
So, ladies, how often do you
guys get around,
675
00:31:11,260 --> 00:31:15,560
you know, some pretzels and some
banana bread to talk about sex?
676
00:31:16,270 --> 00:31:18,230
Less often than I used to.
677
00:31:18,230 --> 00:31:20,390
Less often than you used --
But you do?
678
00:31:20,390 --> 00:31:21,230
Of course.
679
00:31:21,230 --> 00:31:22,860
But not usually with people
680
00:31:22,860 --> 00:31:24,690
traveling all the way
from America...
681
00:31:24,690 --> 00:31:25,940
[ Laughter ]
682
00:31:25,940 --> 00:31:27,820
...to talk with me about sex.
683
00:31:27,820 --> 00:31:30,110
AMANPOUR:
Nicole, Luisa, and Sarah,
684
00:31:30,110 --> 00:31:33,620
three working women,
are going to hash out the truth
685
00:31:33,620 --> 00:31:37,540
behind Berlin's reputation
as the carnal capital of Europe.
686
00:31:37,540 --> 00:31:42,000
Where does kinky stuff fit
in the Berlin experience?
687
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,210
For you, for instance.
688
00:31:43,210 --> 00:31:47,090
Well, with a 3-month old
and a 4-year-old,
689
00:31:47,090 --> 00:31:49,050
I haven't left the house
past 9:00 p.m.
690
00:31:49,050 --> 00:31:50,590
in -- I don't know --
five years?
691
00:31:50,590 --> 00:31:53,340
So the kinky stuff goes
right past me.
692
00:31:53,340 --> 00:31:55,100
-But --
-You can be kinky at home.
693
00:31:55,100 --> 00:31:57,470
Kinky at home?
No. We're way too tired.
694
00:31:57,470 --> 00:31:58,890
Um...
695
00:31:59,930 --> 00:32:03,600
What do you make
of this saying in Germany
696
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,150
that's sort of "KKK"?
697
00:32:05,150 --> 00:32:11,650
Not that KKK, but it's
"Kinder, Kueche, Kirche."
698
00:32:11,650 --> 00:32:13,570
Am I right?
Translate?
699
00:32:13,570 --> 00:32:17,330
It means to church and children
and kitchen.
700
00:32:17,330 --> 00:32:20,120
So that's the way women's lives
have been framed
701
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,040
-for a long, long time?
-Yes.
702
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:25,080
So what to you does "KKK"
mean --
703
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,750
the kids, the church,
the kitchen?
704
00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:27,960
I mean, look where we are.
705
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,260
For me, it means
this kind of mother ideal
706
00:32:30,260 --> 00:32:33,090
that totally isolates women
from the society.
707
00:32:33,090 --> 00:32:34,800
But I think in Germany
especially,
708
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,260
this idea that you cannot go
against your nature
709
00:32:38,260 --> 00:32:41,020
is pretty strong
from the Nazi times still.
710
00:32:41,020 --> 00:32:43,020
[ Film projector clicking ]
711
00:32:43,020 --> 00:32:45,560
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
712
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:49,270
AMANPOUR: All Hitler wanted
from women was babies --
713
00:32:49,270 --> 00:32:53,610
the more blue-eyed,
blond-haired babies, the better.
714
00:32:53,610 --> 00:32:56,450
Medals were handed out
for large families,
715
00:32:56,450 --> 00:32:58,950
and a cult of motherhood
was born.
716
00:32:58,950 --> 00:33:04,250
I remember really distinctly
when I was heading towards 40,
717
00:33:04,250 --> 00:33:05,830
one of my producers, a guy,
said to me,
718
00:33:05,830 --> 00:33:08,670
"You know, Christiane,
you've been quite successful.
719
00:33:08,670 --> 00:33:12,050
What are you gonna do,
grow old and hug your awards?"
720
00:33:12,590 --> 00:33:16,470
Kind of. "Okay. Now it's time.
Get married. Have kids."
721
00:33:16,470 --> 00:33:18,100
There's this fear
of being lonely.
722
00:33:18,100 --> 00:33:20,430
It comes from this
kind of threat, you know?
723
00:33:20,430 --> 00:33:23,020
Like you don't get love
when you don't have a child.
724
00:33:23,020 --> 00:33:25,390
What does love mean to you?
725
00:33:25,390 --> 00:33:28,310
What does it mean to be loved?
726
00:33:28,860 --> 00:33:33,030
Love is the foundation
of our relationship stability.
727
00:33:33,030 --> 00:33:35,150
This idea that we find
a soul mate --
728
00:33:35,150 --> 00:33:37,240
of course that implies
also good sex.
729
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,990
I think we base
all our happiness
730
00:33:39,990 --> 00:33:42,160
in our relationship
on that love.
731
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,660
And there are people who say,
"That's a flimsy foundation."
732
00:33:44,660 --> 00:33:47,080
For me,
I would phrase it more like
733
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:48,630
we talk about connection,
you know?
734
00:33:48,630 --> 00:33:52,500
Like, the connection we can have
in various ways.
735
00:33:53,510 --> 00:33:56,760
AMANPOUR: This urge to connect
keeps cropping up in Berlin.
736
00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:00,680
But what keeps that connection
alive in a relationship?
737
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,310
Is sex
the most important component
738
00:34:04,310 --> 00:34:06,980
of a successful relationship?
739
00:34:06,980 --> 00:34:08,480
I guess so.
740
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,270
I think it's different
from couple to couple.
741
00:34:10,270 --> 00:34:12,900
So that's really interesting,
because in Europe,
742
00:34:12,900 --> 00:34:16,070
the birth rate is plummeting
quite precipitously,
743
00:34:16,070 --> 00:34:18,360
and there are huge statistics
744
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,830
to show that couples
are not having that much sex,
745
00:34:21,830 --> 00:34:23,290
not that regularly.
746
00:34:23,290 --> 00:34:26,790
Apparently, men who participate
more in housework
747
00:34:26,790 --> 00:34:29,580
also report higher levels
of sexual satisfaction
748
00:34:29,580 --> 00:34:31,590
-with their wives.
-Voilà .
749
00:34:31,590 --> 00:34:35,710
I think this is a balance
in a relationship, you know?
750
00:34:35,710 --> 00:34:37,670
That means also
you can negotiate.
751
00:34:37,670 --> 00:34:40,430
And you can also talk about that
in bed, you know?
752
00:34:40,430 --> 00:34:41,890
For me, this is totally clear --
753
00:34:41,890 --> 00:34:44,350
When you are equal
in all sorts of levels,
754
00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:46,350
you have
a much more intimate way
755
00:34:46,350 --> 00:34:48,190
to just be open
about what you need.
756
00:34:48,190 --> 00:34:50,600
So we can boost
the fertility rate
757
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,230
by making men do more housework.
758
00:34:52,230 --> 00:34:54,530
-I totally agree.
-Or just sex.
759
00:34:54,530 --> 00:34:56,990
Well, that goes together,
apparently.
760
00:34:56,990 --> 00:34:59,110
You can't get the one
without the other.
761
00:34:59,110 --> 00:35:01,200
[ Laughter ]
762
00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:05,540
AMANPOUR:
And if that doesn't work,
763
00:35:05,540 --> 00:35:07,370
there's always
this piece of advice
764
00:35:07,370 --> 00:35:10,920
from professional dominatrix
Lady Mercedes.
765
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,090
I say... [ Paddle smacks ]
"Get undressed."
766
00:35:14,090 --> 00:35:15,340
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
767
00:35:15,340 --> 00:35:17,630
Learn from us.
768
00:35:18,010 --> 00:35:21,340
Just put a latex panty on.
769
00:35:21,340 --> 00:35:23,930
For women,
it will help their sex lives
770
00:35:23,930 --> 00:35:30,270
and make the sexuality
more pleasant for them.
771
00:35:33,270 --> 00:35:34,690
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
772
00:35:34,690 --> 00:35:37,900
AMANPOUR: Far, far away
from Berlin's nightclubs,
773
00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:39,440
amid the rolling hills
774
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,610
and pastoral villages
of the German countryside,
775
00:35:42,610 --> 00:35:45,620
an unlikely love story
is unfolding.
776
00:35:45,620 --> 00:35:47,830
[ Music continues ]
777
00:35:47,830 --> 00:35:51,580
Samah is a Syrian Muslim
who fled the war at home
778
00:35:51,580 --> 00:35:55,380
and came here to the small
German town of Eschwege,
779
00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:58,510
where she met Klaus,
a German Christian,
780
00:35:58,510 --> 00:36:01,510
and they fell in love.
781
00:36:02,340 --> 00:36:04,260
I wanted to know how two people
782
00:36:04,260 --> 00:36:07,470
who come from such
wildly different backgrounds
783
00:36:07,470 --> 00:36:10,600
find each other
and make it work.
784
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,190
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
785
00:36:13,190 --> 00:36:14,440
WOMAN:
Good evening.
786
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,570
Welcome to
the Storytelling Arena.
787
00:36:16,570 --> 00:36:18,530
[ Speaking Arabic ]
788
00:36:18,530 --> 00:36:21,530
We have a wonderful program
for you tonight
789
00:36:21,530 --> 00:36:24,070
of Syrian love stories.
790
00:36:24,070 --> 00:36:25,700
AMANPOUR:
I'm meeting them at an event
791
00:36:25,700 --> 00:36:29,370
that introduces Germans
to newcomers.
792
00:36:29,370 --> 00:36:31,580
My eyes followed them out.
793
00:36:31,580 --> 00:36:33,370
And I saw through the window.
794
00:36:33,370 --> 00:36:36,540
In the rain, he kissed her.
795
00:36:36,540 --> 00:36:39,800
How can I explain a love
such as theirs?
796
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,300
Such a love defies
the alleyways,
797
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:43,590
the streets,
798
00:36:43,590 --> 00:36:45,300
whole neighborhoods.
799
00:36:45,300 --> 00:36:48,220
Such a love defies the city.
800
00:36:48,220 --> 00:36:49,260
Thank you.
801
00:36:49,260 --> 00:36:52,180
[ Applause ]
802
00:36:52,180 --> 00:36:55,400
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
803
00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:02,150
SAMAH: It is not normal to talk
about love in our country.
804
00:37:02,150 --> 00:37:05,200
So usually when they speak
about love,
805
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,780
they speak in a hidden way.
806
00:37:07,780 --> 00:37:10,040
-And it touched your heart.
-It is.
807
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,160
AMANPOUR:
Everybody in this room --
808
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,790
It's full of Syrians
and Germans --
809
00:37:14,790 --> 00:37:17,790
They're all talking
about what it's like
810
00:37:17,790 --> 00:37:20,420
as a Syrian or as a German
to court,
811
00:37:20,420 --> 00:37:22,420
to flirt,
to go out with each other.
812
00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:23,760
What was it like for you?
813
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,590
-Yes. You can -- You can...
-I'm sorry.
814
00:37:25,590 --> 00:37:27,760
You have to answer
these questions.
815
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,180
What did you like about her?
816
00:37:29,180 --> 00:37:31,600
I like her attitude.
817
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:35,640
She has a certain ability
to attract people.
818
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:37,190
And what did you like about him?
819
00:37:37,190 --> 00:37:39,440
He's so honest.
820
00:37:39,940 --> 00:37:43,400
So that's why I decided
to talk to him.
821
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,030
AMANPOUR: Samah and Klaus met
at an English class.
822
00:37:47,030 --> 00:37:48,870
But she's a practicing Muslim,
823
00:37:48,870 --> 00:37:51,830
and she wasn't comfortable
being alone with Klaus.
824
00:37:51,830 --> 00:37:55,460
So for several months,
they only talked via text.
825
00:37:55,460 --> 00:37:58,080
When I agreed to meet him --
826
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,920
to meet him to talk
about our future marriage --
827
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:06,050
the appointment was at 9:00,
but he came at 8:00.
828
00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:07,470
-[ Laughs ]
-AMANPOUR: Sorry.
829
00:38:07,470 --> 00:38:10,180
You asked him
so that you could interview him
830
00:38:10,180 --> 00:38:12,430
-about marrying him?
-Yes. Yes.
831
00:38:12,430 --> 00:38:16,270
Samah told me, "In Syria,
it would not be like this,
832
00:38:16,270 --> 00:38:20,610
that you have a girlfriend,
like in Germany."
833
00:38:20,610 --> 00:38:21,820
Tell me what you said to him.
834
00:38:21,820 --> 00:38:24,440
I told him,
"I can't go out with you.
835
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:30,530
Either you will be a friend
or I will be your spouse."
836
00:38:30,530 --> 00:38:34,750
Because I I felt so shy
to tell him, "I will be your..."
837
00:38:34,750 --> 00:38:36,540
"Your wife."
You couldn't say that.
838
00:38:36,540 --> 00:38:37,870
I couldn't.
839
00:38:37,870 --> 00:38:42,000
And the first kiss
was near the church.
840
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000
AMANPOUR:
Aw.
841
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,010
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
842
00:38:46,010 --> 00:38:51,220
Texting led to love and marriage
and a whole new life together.
843
00:38:51,220 --> 00:38:54,010
Do you feel liberated
in Germany?
844
00:38:54,010 --> 00:38:55,520
SAMAH:
I am. Yes.
845
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,270
I feel that I can talk.
846
00:38:57,270 --> 00:39:00,270
You know, I didn't have
the chance to make mistakes.
847
00:39:00,270 --> 00:39:03,270
So I want to make mistakes.
Why not?
848
00:39:03,270 --> 00:39:07,990
At the very beginning, when
we started going out together,
849
00:39:07,990 --> 00:39:12,410
it was difficult for me
to have kisses in the street.
850
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:13,870
And now?
851
00:39:13,870 --> 00:39:15,370
Now it's okay.
852
00:39:15,370 --> 00:39:16,790
[ Laughs ]
853
00:39:16,790 --> 00:39:21,080
If he forgets, I go,
"Klaus, kiss me."
854
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,880
[ Music continues ]
855
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,050
AMANPOUR:
So do you have a good sex life?
856
00:39:27,050 --> 00:39:28,510
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
857
00:39:28,510 --> 00:39:29,930
Yeah.
[ Laughs ]
858
00:39:29,930 --> 00:39:31,510
KLAUS:
Yeah, our sex life...
859
00:39:31,510 --> 00:39:33,970
[ Laughter ]
860
00:39:35,510 --> 00:39:37,680
Did you ever think that --
I don't know --
861
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,390
you would find satisfaction
862
00:39:39,390 --> 00:39:43,560
outside your own culture,
your own country?
863
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:45,150
I didn't think about this,
864
00:39:45,150 --> 00:39:50,700
because in our community,
we sugar the relationship.
865
00:39:50,700 --> 00:39:52,240
We are not honest.
866
00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:57,490
I know what I want,
but our mothers taught us
867
00:39:57,490 --> 00:40:00,960
that we have to be devoted
for the man.
868
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,330
And it took you
till 55 years old...
869
00:40:03,330 --> 00:40:05,880
Yes. Yes.
870
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:09,840
Let's say the sexual
relationship with Klaus,
871
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,090
I feel like a queen.
872
00:40:11,090 --> 00:40:12,800
I feel wanted.
873
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,800
[ Music continues ]
874
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,850
I'm gonna cry.
875
00:40:16,850 --> 00:40:19,020
SAMAH:
He is really completing me.
876
00:40:19,020 --> 00:40:21,520
I'm so full of life.
877
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,190
And he is the one who will say,
"Okay. Calm down."
878
00:40:25,190 --> 00:40:26,610
Yes.
I'm like a --
879
00:40:26,610 --> 00:40:29,690
Don't calm her too much.
She's got great spirit.
880
00:40:29,690 --> 00:40:31,530
[ Laughs ]
881
00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:33,280
[ Singing in Arabic ]
882
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,240
[ Mid-tempo music playing ]
883
00:40:43,420 --> 00:40:47,540
I never expected a Syrian-German
couple in their 50s
884
00:40:47,540 --> 00:40:51,130
would be the ones to crack
the code on love and sex,
885
00:40:51,130 --> 00:40:52,920
intimacy, and the connection
886
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:56,090
that we all
so desperately crave.
887
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,470
Berlin has always had an edge,
888
00:40:58,470 --> 00:41:02,640
and Berliners cherish
and nurture that reputation.
889
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,100
They dare to step out
of their comfort zones
890
00:41:05,100 --> 00:41:07,440
and explore sex and love,
891
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,610
wherever their desires
take them.
892
00:41:10,780 --> 00:41:13,570
In so many places, sex is taboo
893
00:41:13,570 --> 00:41:16,570
and even love
is hard to talk about.
894
00:41:16,570 --> 00:41:18,030
But not here.
895
00:41:18,030 --> 00:41:19,280
MAN:
Thank you!
896
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,290
-[ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you so much.
67605
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