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®Hon3yHD.com!®
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(yells)
2
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Summa Nura.
3
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Voice: Ash.
4
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,527
Ash: (yells)
Ruby is in Elk Grove, Michigan.
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My hometown.
6
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,605
- Ashley?
- Pablo, Kelly, meet my father.
7
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- You said your dad was dead.
- Uh, we were sort of dead to each other.
8
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Pablo: Ever since Ruby put that book on
my face, I've been having nightmares,
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but they happen while I'm awake.
10
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,964
(distorted)
Where is The Necronomicon?
11
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,281
I'll never tell you.
12
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- (growls)
- (screams)
13
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(Ash whistles)
Night-night.
14
00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:37,805
My children have turned on me.
15
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Help me retrieve the book,
and send them back to hell.
16
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,840
Let's go save the world.
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I Volare ♪
18
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,326
IOh, oh ♪
19
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,251
A' Cantata a'
20
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I Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
21
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I Let's fly way up to the clouds ♪
22
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- ♪ Away from maddening crowds... ♪
- Whoa.
23
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Mm, man, looking good.
24
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Looking sweet.
25
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(car approaches, brakes screech)
26
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- (record scratches)
- Jesus!
27
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,527
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
28
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That cyborg hand of yours got
something against knocking on doors?
29
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Sorry, Dad.
Just going up to my room.
30
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It looks like you found Bigfoot.
Why you still here?
31
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Uh, we just, uh, got to take care
of some business.
32
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Just a couple of days,
then I'm gone.
33
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Oh, for Christ--
No more horseshit about demons.
34
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,522
What difference does it make?
You wouldn't believe me anyway.
35
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,808
Look,Pop,
I know you don't want me here...
36
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Brock: You're the one that ran off like
a scalded dog, left me here alone.
37
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Yeah, news flash--
I wouldn't have, if you stood by me.
38
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Oh, so it's my fault because, what?
I didn't give you enough hugs?
39
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,090
Sack up, sunshine.
40
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,050
Now, look, I know that
I'm not the son you wanted.
41
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,761
And I know that Elk Grove would rather
have a hero who doesn't live in a trailer,
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and doesn't have a boatload
of cold sores, but too bad!
43
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I am your son,
and I'm the only hero Elk Grove has.
44
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(Kelly and Pablo clearing throats)
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Uh, except those two.
46
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,407
Uh, yeah, the jury's out on her.
47
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All right, here's the deal.
My lady's on her way over here.
48
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,890
I'm going to be up to my elbows
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- in cheesecake real soon.
- (groans)
50
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,164
And when your "business" is done,
you know where the door is.
51
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,731
Great, Dad, thanks.
52
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Oh, and by the way,
"Bigfoot" has a name.
53
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- It's Ruby.
- Oh, is that so, Ruby?
54
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,246
Well, tell your story walking.
I'm done conversating.
55
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Time for some fornicating.
56
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,250
- Ugh.
- (chuckles)
57
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- Woman: Ash?
- (floorboards creaking)
58
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,047
(whimpering)
59
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,931
I want to get out of here!
60
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,321
Help me, Ash!
61
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,528
Shut it off.
(screaming)
62
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,250
Look at me!
63
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,644
- You okay?
- What's that?
64
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,122
Another LSD moment?
Oh, man. I told you, dude.
65
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,124
Florida LSD, not to be fucked with.
66
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,965
Got to trust me on this shit.
67
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,647
Yeah, got to be careful.
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(music playing)
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Oh, sweet room, Jefe.
70
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,804
Yep, lot of good memories in here,
and there.
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00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,088
(Pablo chuckles)
72
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,169
It looks like it hasn't changed in...
73
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,322
30 years, that's right.
74
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:48,686
When I left this place back then,
75
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,127
I left behind everyone
and everything I ever knew.
76
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Poor fella.
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Guess he didn't have the heart
to carry on without me.
78
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Kelly: Or the food.
79
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,164
Come on, guys,
we don't have much time.
80
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,402
You've seen how powerful
my children have become.
81
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,167
Wait... your children?
Those things came out of me.
82
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,564
Oh, relax, you're not the father,
just the portal for their rebirth.
83
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,724
Are you saying Pablo is a vagina?
84
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,962
Ruby:
You need to take this seriously, missy.
85
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,202
My spawn pose
an existential threat,
86
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,164
such as the world
has never seen before.
87
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,204
They're not only more powerful
and more intelligent and dangerous--
88
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,328
Okay, yeah, got it.
They're big, mean, smart.
89
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,448
Just tell us where they are,
we'll go spank their naked butts.
90
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,523
Nope, we got to retrieve
that Necronomicon
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00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,011
before they get their hands on it.
92
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,685
That's all we have to be
concerned about right now.
93
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,841
This is easy!
94
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,681
We'll be back in the Sunshine State
before you can say Fort Ticonderoga.
95
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:42,202
- Where'd you put it?
- (music playing)
96
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,806
(growling)
97
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,761
(music playing on headphones)
♪ Dip it low ♪
98
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,446
(door banging)
99
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,121
(drill whirring)
100
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,361
IOh ♪
101
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,246
I Down harder ♪
102
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,281
IOh ♪
103
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:35,126
- ♪ Down low ♪
- (drill whirring continues)
104
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,242
(hammer tapping)
105
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,924
♪ Drop this ♪
106
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,285
- (grunts)
- (screams)
107
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,722
(music playing)
108
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,006
The best hiding place
you could think of
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00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,481
was a fucking corpse?!
110
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,803
Dead flesh masks the scent of
the book from the spawn.
111
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,850
So in terms of quick thinking,
not the worst idea.
112
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,048
We could argue worse ideas
all day long, believe me.
113
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,170
- Time to put on our dancing shoes.
- Hold up.
114
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,210
- Family meeting.
- Not you.
115
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,725
(Ruby grunts)
116
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,360
I don't trust her, Jefe.
She's hiding something.
117
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,329
Agreed.
Something's funky.
118
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,006
'Cause if she's
some kind of half-demon,
119
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,561
immortal badass,
why does she need us?
120
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,371
Look, I would trust
a blind proctologist
121
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,249
more than her,
but you know the deal.
122
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,402
Unless you have a better plan?
123
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,528
Leave her here with me
while you guys go get the book.
124
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,523
I'll figure out
what she's not telling us.
125
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,364
Kelly: Yeah, I don't think
that's such a great idea.
126
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,521
Pablo: I got this.
127
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,842
Trust and believe I'll carve her up
like a Halloween pumpkin
128
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,731
- if she even looks at me funny.
- Damn, Pablo.
129
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:36,044
- Badass.
- Not so much of a vagina now, am I?
130
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,682
Well, actually, vaginas are powerful
and life-affirming.
131
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,730
So technically, you're more of
a vagina now than you've ever been.
132
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,486
She's right, buddy.
And I couldn't be prouder.
133
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,171
Sorry, lady.
You're riding the pine today.
134
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,443
Pablo, and his friend Mr. Kandarian
Dagger, would like a word.
135
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,046
- (chuckles) No, no, no.
- It wasn't a question.
136
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,686
You want your book back,
that's how it happens.
137
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,725
Fine.
138
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:05,726
Just, uh, don't touch any of my stuff.
Except to tidy up.
139
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,083
Seriously, don't let her touch
any of my stuff.
140
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,129
Except to tidy up.
141
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:16,880
(door closes)
142
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,567
- (wind howling)
- (car door closes)
143
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,802
(Ash sighs)
144
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,127
Mm, must be hard coming back.
145
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,970
Confronting your past
146
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,562
and all your many mistakes
and bad decisions.
147
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,281
Holy pickle dicks,
it's Lillian Pendergrass!
148
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,930
Kelly:
What's a "Lillian Pendergrass"?
149
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,084
That beautiful creature right there.
I'd know that caboose anywhere.
150
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,925
- Are you having a stroke?
- Hey, you say that now,
151
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,923
back in the day,
Lillian Pendergrass
152
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,402
was a smoking hot former gymnast
turned Phys Ed teacher.
153
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,846
You know what I'm talking about?
154
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,129
She wore these tiny,
little polyester shorts.
155
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,806
You know during the summer,
when you find that perfect peach?
156
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,282
Your next words better be "the end,"
or I will shoot us both.
157
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,721
- Me first.
- I'll give you the abridged version.
158
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,170
(chuckfing)
159
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,011
- I boned her in the back.
- Good for you.
160
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,841
Ash: She's going to the house.
She must've heard that I'm back in town.
161
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,809
(laughing)
Oh, no!
162
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,764
Well, sorry, Lillian.
163
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,806
Tool time's going to have to wait,
'cause Dad's got a job to do--
164
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,490
- Hello.
- Looking good.
165
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,642
(gagging)
Well, it looks like
166
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,446
Big Daddy's
working from home today.
167
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,001
That son of a bitch.
Not again.
168
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,130
- Wait, again?
- (engine starts)
169
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,964
(elevator bell dings)
170
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:02,530
So, um, you give any thought to
how we explain what we're doing here?
171
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:06,002
Relax, just a couple of regular people
taking a stroll in a hospital.
172
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,367
Kelly: Morgue.
A hospital morgue.
173
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,682
Nobody strolls through a morgue.
174
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,008
We look shady as fuck.
175
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,527
We get busted,
we're getting locked up.
176
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:18,206
Okay. Nobody's gonna be
locked up, okay?
177
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,886
I'm going to be like a ninja
losing his virginity--
178
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,771
quick and discreet.
179
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,400
You just guard that door.
Nobody gets in.
180
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,846
(electricity buzzing)
181
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,081
(lock clicks)
182
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,521
Okay... probably should've
asked which one.
183
00:10:56,280 --> 00:11:01,002
Okay, bodies,
who's got the book?
184
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,610
Oh! What a waste.
185
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,445
- What a waste--
- (banging)
186
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,405
(drill whirring)
187
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,485
Come on, you piece of crap.
188
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,042
- (chainsaw buzzing)
- (flesh squelching)
189
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,087
(grunts)
190
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,607
Fuck.
191
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,723
(exhales sharply)
192
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,481
Pablo: I need to know
what's happening to me.
193
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,644
What did you do?
You make me evil, too?
194
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,246
Oh, so this isn't about me at all.
195
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,805
Well, it was very naughty of you
to deceive Ash like that.
196
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:29,161
- But I'm very impressed.
- Yo, just answer the question!
197
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,688
I would like to, but I honestly
have no idea what you're talking about.
198
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,211
You do seem upset, though, so come on,
sit down, and tell me about it.
199
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,324
Yeah, I don't want to sit.
I want to talk about the book.
200
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,847
All right?
It did something to me.
201
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,367
It changed me, and...
202
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,887
you're going to tell me
exactly how right now!
203
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,690
We do not have time for this.
204
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,845
So, you're going to answer
my questions right now.
205
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,520
(music playing)
206
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,331
(flesh squelching)
207
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,928
Wait a minute.
208
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,891
Son of a bitch.
209
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,044
Ash, look first, cut later.
210
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,645
(sighs)
211
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:31,682
Oh, of course.
There you are.
212
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,047
Come on now.
213
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,361
What the Harryhausen?
(grunts)
214
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,568
Definitely getting locked up.
215
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,484
(sighs)
216
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,203
(whispers) F8Y9°-
217
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,850
Come on.
218
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,082
Come on, motherfucker!
219
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,441
Hey, you know what?
220
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,364
- (gun cocks)
- (elevator bell dings)
221
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,404
(elevator bell dings)
222
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,644
Give me my fucking pop!
223
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,643
Going to jail.
Give it to me!
224
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,565
(clears throat)
225
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,362
Oh, hey.
226
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:45,646
You know what?
227
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,771
Great timing, because
your pop machine is on the fritz.
228
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,763
(grunting)
Give...
229
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,524
H".back!
230
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,403
Oh, no, you don't.
231
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,724
Nobody hides
from Ashley J. Williams.
232
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,281
Hmm?
233
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,005
- (screeching)
' (Ash groaning)
234
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,561
(yells)
235
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,884
This part of the hospital
is off limits.
236
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,562
- Why are you here?
- I could ask you the same thing.
237
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,485
There's been a lot of weird shit
happening around town lately.
238
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,928
And your friend, Ash,
he ain't a stranger to weird shit, is he?
239
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,082
Dude, he's like the father
of weird shit.
240
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,846
So, you're going to have to be
much more specific.
241
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,367
Lot of unexplained deaths lately.
242
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,370
And then all of a sudden,
you and that bozo roll into town.
243
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,164
Wow.
244
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,244
Someone's on the fast track
to detective.
245
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,408
All right, smart-ass.
246
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,211
You stand there and crack wise.
247
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,601
We'll just see
what the coroner has to say.
248
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,411
But dollars to donuts,
249
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,724
Ash Williams will figure in
his explanation somehow.
250
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:24,291
Now, if you'll excuse me.
251
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,768
I said, excuse me.
252
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,250
- (screeching)
- (grunting, yelling)
253
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,720
(laughs, grunts)
254
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:57,570
- (farting)
- Oh, no, no, no.
255
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,762
Oh, no, no.
Not up the butt!
256
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,564
Not up the...
257
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,449
(screaming)
258
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,970
(gasping)
Oh, God!
259
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,646
Oh, God, I'm in the butt!
I'm in the butt.
260
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,121
I'm in the butt!
261
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,442
- (yelling)
' (Clattering)
262
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,371
Get it off me!
(yelling)
263
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,648
_ (SCfeech-
_ mg)
264
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,451
What are you doing?
265
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,644
(screams)
Don't you suck my johnson!
266
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,041
(whimpering, grunting)
267
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,801
Where'd you 9°?
268
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,928
Oh, okay. Okay!
269
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,202
Get off me! Get off me!
270
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,887
Get your dick off my face!
271
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,604
- (groans)
- (screeches)
272
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,328
This town is only big enough
for one asshole,
273
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,767
and that asshole is me.
274
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,370
"Lillian Pendergrass.
Pneumonia?"
275
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,086
That's not Lillian Pendergrass.
276
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,287
(crowd cheering on TV)
277
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:32,011
Mm, you smell like Lysol wipes.
278
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,881
Man on TV: You will fight,
or fall, where you stand...
279
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,327
When did you say
Ash would be back?
280
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,889
- Uh, who?
- Ashley.
281
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,044
- Your son.
- Oh, uh, who cares?
282
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,965
Could be ten minutes,
could be 30 years.
283
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,367
- Doubt if I'd be that lucky twice.
- Hmm.
284
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,848
Why the interest anyway?
Surprised you even remember him.
285
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,048
He's a tough one to forget.
286
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,329
Ah, well, he's not going to
stop me from trying.
287
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:03,288
Man on TV: A single Roman
lacks courage enough to face me!
288
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,602
(crowd on TV booing)
289
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,291
Ruby: Tell me what's been
happening to you.
290
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,931
Come on, you're the one
who was crying for answers.
291
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,969
L-I wasn't crying.
292
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,521
You see, the book has never
attached itself to a human before.
293
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:26,130
Is it possible that it left
some kind of an imprint?
294
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,931
Some terrible knowledge?
295
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,367
Are you having nightmares?
296
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:32,925
Premonitions, or...
297
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,242
Oh, premonitions.
298
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,330
Good.
That's what we need to know.
299
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,404
I ain't telling you shit, lady.
300
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,444
- Kelly.
- Down here.
301
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:55,161
- We got to get out of here right now!
- Oh, shit!
302
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,243
What happened in there?
303
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,085
Oh, uh, let's go with colonoscopy?
304
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,005
- What the hell happened here?
- He was abusing his power.
305
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,481
- I informed him of my rights.
- With a sledgehammer?
306
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,489
Not my fault he got a glass jaw.
307
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,650
Wow, he's really out.
308
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,451
Soon as this asshole wakes up,
this asshole's going to jail.
309
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,844
Number one-- never say "ass" or "hole"
in my presence ever again.
310
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,126
- Got it?
- Got it.
311
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,651
- Ever!
- Okay.
312
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,768
Number two--
no one's going to jail.
313
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,081
Witness.
314
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,329
(chuckfing)
See that?
315
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,130
Back in school,
when we used to beat him up,
316
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,760
he would whiz himself,
but he never told the teachers.
317
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,490
- Why?
- Because he pissed himself.
318
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,642
Bingo.
So we could just keep doing it.
319
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,485
That is horrible,
and also awesome.
320
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,130
Which is everything that I do.
321
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,851
Oh, newsflash,
we got to get home and save Pablo.
322
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,331
Lillian is a Deadite.
323
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,006
- (pounding)
- (whispers) Did you hear that?
324
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,162
From upstairs.
325
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,322
Oh, it's probably Ashley.
326
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,888
Must've snuck in the back door
like some cowardly dog.
327
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:58,283
Why don't you forget about Ashley
and slide on over here
328
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,369
and give old Brock
some Splenda, huh?
329
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,410
(chuckles)
Oh, I like the sound of that, Daddy.
330
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,369
You get your fine self ready
331
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,966
while I freshen up
in the little girls' room.
332
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,606
I was born ready, turtle dove.
You just hurry back.
333
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:11,841
You'll know where to find me.
334
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,969
- (music playing on stereo)
- What about your dad?
335
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,364
You only said we had to get back
to save Pablo.
336
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,727
What about your dad?
337
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,406
Kelly, in war, there's always
gonna be collateral damage.
338
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,762
How can you say that, Ash?
339
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,571
I mean, I know you two
don't get along, but he's family.
340
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,165
He's your father.
341
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,607
And he won't be around forever.
342
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,888
Are you kidding me?
That old buzzard?
343
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,371
That guy's going to outlive us all.
344
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,727
That's just another way
the man upstairs
345
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,450
chooses to shtup me in the pooper.
346
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,204
(Kelly groans)
347
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,525
- (gasps) Stop!
- Whoa, fuck!
348
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:57,681
- Whoa!
- The fuck asshole?!
349
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:01,083
Hey, don't give me that look, punk.
Roads are for cars.
350
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,765
Fuck you!
You need to watch where you're going!
351
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,964
And you need to wait until your balls drop
before you talk to me, son.
352
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:07,121
- (laughing)
- Yeah?
353
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,089
Well, your piece-of-shit car...
354
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,083
(sniffing)
Smells like a piece of shit!
355
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,241
- (laughing)
- Ash: Oh, yeah?
356
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,641
Well, my piece-of-shit car
isn't the cause of this shit.
357
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,928
It's all me, baby!
Beat it!
358
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,208
- Hey, whoa, whoa!
- Yeah, sit and spin!
359
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:22,011
- L_=uck you!
- Emvv puberty!
360
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:24,965
- Fucking douche bag!
- Ash: Guess we told them, huh.
361
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:26,167
Come on, Tyler.
362
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,966
What the f... Hey.
363
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,162
What? Oh, shit! What?
364
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,607
No! No!
365
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,762
Please! Please!
What are you doing to me?!
366
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,410
Please stop! No!
367
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,327
What a disappointment
you've turned out to be.
368
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,926
You really don't know
what's going on, do you?
369
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,130
No! I'm sorry, I-l don't know!
370
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,648
- Precognition, Pablo.
- No!
371
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,406
Ruby: Psychic ability
to see events in the future.
372
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,807
Do you understand?
You're having a premonition.
373
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,042
Just please cut me down!
Please!
374
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:03,770
Cutyou?
375
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,570
As you wish.
376
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,331
. (Pounding on door)
' Go away!
377
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:20,371
- Pablo.
- Lillian: Ashley, is that you, dear?
378
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,807
- (pounding continues)
- It happened again, didn't it?
379
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,126
- (yells)
- Tell me what you saw!
380
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,770
- Lillian: Ashley?!
- Stay away from me!
381
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,291
- Calm down and listen to me.
- Pablo: You tried to kill me!
382
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:33,647
(distorted)
Well, look who it is!
383
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,165
The traitor!
384
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,244
Makes sense you'd be with Ash now.
385
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,606
Ooh, Pablo!
386
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:30,165
Okay, what did I tell you about
not touching any of my stuff?
387
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:32,447
Except to tidy up.
388
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,443
(gasping)
389
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,362
You ready to tell me
what you saw now?
390
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,727
You... you tried to kill me.
391
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,928
You-you slit my throat
with some sort of a...
392
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,248
- plink.
- Fingernail?
393
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,767
Mm-hmm.
394
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,769
- Baal.
- Both: Huh?
395
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,203
Pablo's visions-- I know why my children
are after the Necronomicon now.
396
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,567
They aim to raise up their father.
397
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,524
(Ruby groans)
But I don't see the book.
398
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,690
Where is it?
Where's the Necronomicon--
399
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,608
- You failed.
- Ash: Let me tell you something.
400
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,240
Ash Williams doesn't know
the meaning of a lot of words.
401
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,090
But I really don't know
the meaning of "fail."
402
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,083
- So where is it?
- I wasn't going to bring it in here
403
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,241
with some Deadite.
404
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,761
It's locked up in the Delta,
safe and sound.
405
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:14,921
- (car door slams)
- (boy screams)
406
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,004
- (engine starts)
- (music playing on stereo)
407
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,166
- Jefe, it's the Delta!
- (groans)
408
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,765
Lillian?
409
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,969
Took so long,
I had to start without you.
410
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,487
Thought I told you to stay upstairs.
411
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,563
Where in the hell is Lillian?
412
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,166
- See ya!
413
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,807
Fuck you, Ashy Slashy!
414
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,442
- (howling, laughing)
- (horn honking)
415
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,723
Yup, right up the POOP“-
416
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,208
(music playing)
417
00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:47,365
Created by: A. Vandelay
Post Haste Digital
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