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(Cathy...)
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Ca-thy...
3
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,910
- Cathy.
- Oh!
4
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,750
(Morning!)
5
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,630
Hey, you, Kelly. You OK?
6
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,150
Yeah. It's six o'clock.
7
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,880
I was going to come in at five,
but I thought I'd let you sleep.
8
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,280
- Thanks.
- We're going on holiday today.
9
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Sorry, love, what time is it?
10
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Six?
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Quarter to six? Might
be a little bit earlier.
12
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,230
(Kelly.)
13
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,800
It's all right, babe, she's woken up.
14
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,630
We're going Cyprus today, Mum.
15
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,230
It's actually one country, but it's
literally split down the middle.
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- They had a civil war.
- It's a nation divided.
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00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,630
Whose side are you on, Mum,
the Greeks' or the Turks'?
18
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,790
Can we talk about this later, love,
19
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,880
- when I've had a bit of a
chance to wake up? - Yeah.
20
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,920
I've never watched you
get out of bed before.
21
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:10,280
- Shall I wait downstairs?
- Yeah. - Cool.
22
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,280
- Bye!
- Bye.
23
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,190
When we've gone through a security,
babe, should we get some breakfast
24
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,400
- at this seafood bar?
- Seafood bar? - Yeah!
25
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,670
- Hello again, Cathy.
- Hello.
26
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,750
- You really needed that
wee, didn't you? - Yeah.
27
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,750
I thought you were never going to finish.
28
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:39,510
So, yesterday, in Sainsbury's,
Marsha was quite literally
29
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,590
sneezing everywhere.
30
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:45,430
And then Ronald's going "Why would
you make the bakery smaller?"
31
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,230
And then Omar being Omar, he
was all, "Oh, no, I'm Omar.
32
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,950
"Don't listen to anyone apart
from Neil Kevin Ricardo.
33
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,750
"Look at me, I'm Joyce.
I'm the till supervisor
34
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,670
"and basically I am as slow as a
slug. And my husband comes in..."
35
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,390
Sorry. ".. and my husband
comes in and does his shopping
36
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,350
"and we act like we
don't know each other."
37
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,230
Whereas I like to take my time
with the customers and ask them
about their day and sort of question
38
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,910
whether they really need
everything they're buying.
39
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,590
Sorry, I've forgotten what I was saying.
40
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,510
Don't worry, love, I wasn't listening.
41
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,110
- So we got the aftersun?
- Check.
42
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,630
- Towels for the deckchairs?
- Check.
43
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,710
Jackets in case we leave the hotel?
44
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,720
Why would we leave the hotel?
45
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,750
Yeah.
46
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,840
- Your mum's bringing
over your passport. - Oh!
47
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,760
You've got your Marmite...
48
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:48,190
I've got my loo rolls,
protein powder and... bumbag?
49
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:49,350
In your cupboard.
50
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,350
- Thanks, Mum!
- Aw...
51
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,750
Thanks, Cathy!
52
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,950
- No, just keep still. Let's...
- Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
53
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,230
- Yeah, it's all right. Can you just...?
- Oh, my God, no. I'm so sorry, Cathy.
54
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,270
- I'm so, so sorry. - It's all
right. - Look at all the...
55
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,190
-I'm crying over spilt milk. Yeah.
56
00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:13,870
- Just pass me the tea towel.
- It's basically hilarious.
57
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,710
- It is!
- I'm crying over spilt milk!
58
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,270
- Can you pass me the...? - Can
I tell Jason? - Yeah! - Jason!
59
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,240
- Jason! Jason!
- Oh, Jesus...
60
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,310
Jason!
61
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,150
Just now, downstairs in the kitchen, I...
62
00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:34,510
What?
63
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:38,150
.. I knocked the bottle of milk
over and it went everywhere
64
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,430
and I said...
65
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,750
♪ I've got my ticket
for the long way 'round
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00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,790
♪ Two bottle whiskey for the way
67
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:51,430
♪ And I sure would like some sweet company
68
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,190
♪ Oh, I'm leaving
tomorrow, what do you say?
69
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,430
- ♪ When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
70
00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,870
- ♪ When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
71
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,910
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
72
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,990
♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair
73
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,190
♪ You're gonna miss me everywhere
74
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,830
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
75
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,630
♪ I've got my ticket
for the long way 'round
76
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,550
♪ The one with the prettiest view
77
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,430
♪ It's got mountains, it's got rivers
78
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,710
♪ It's got woods that'll give you shivers
79
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:26,310
♪ But it sure would be prettier with you
80
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,950
- ♪ When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
81
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,390
- ♪ When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
82
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,920
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ♪
83
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,640
Kelly forgot her passport.
84
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,430
So her mum's bringing it round,
so that'll be a lovely start
85
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,150
to the day, and Derek's coming
around with the suitcase
86
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,390
because they don't like
mine and Jason forgot
87
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,470
his was broken till he
tried to do it up...
88
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,270
And he woke me up at quarter past five!
89
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:02,710
- You OK? - Yeah, yeah, just
got stuck behind the bin men.
90
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,800
Oh, there's always a crisp packet.
91
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,110
Do you want a sniff?
92
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,590
- No, I'm OK thanks.
- Lyn came round with her grandson.
93
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:22,350
There's about 100 nappies
in there. Takes me back.
94
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,150
- Thanks for doing this.
- No. No. I...
95
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:28,870
I'll be honest with you, Michael,
I can't wait for them to be gone.
96
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,150
It's my last day of school...
Quarter past five, she came in!
97
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,790
She literally sat on the bed.
98
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:38,150
I've had a nightmare where that happened.
99
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,900
At least I hope it was a nightmare.
100
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,950
Can you believe I've
started saying literally?
101
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:52,510
Hi, Michael, we've just literally
sorting out our liquids.
102
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:56,190
What they do, Cathy, because
basically these days we're
103
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,950
all terrorists whether we want
to be or not, they don't let you
104
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,590
- take more than 100ml of any
liquid on a plane. - Yeah, I know.
105
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,590
- Not even water.
- Yeah.
106
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,270
Imagine that, though, babe.
107
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:12,520
Imagine if a terrorist got on a
plane with over 100ml of water.
108
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,750
It doesn't bear thinking about.
109
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:21,270
All the times I've been
on a plane I have...
110
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,630
I'm trying to say the sentence
now without saying literally.
111
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,150
I have never fancied eating seafood
112
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,190
just because I'm at an airport.
113
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:34,800
Once you start saying literally,
it's literally impossible to stop.
114
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:40,470
- You OK? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh.
115
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,550
We ran out, so the next day I
bought one. Then Kelly got one in
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00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,550
Sainsbury's and Jason got one
on his way home from work.
117
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,750
And none of them are Heinz.
118
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,800
We'll have to go back to the
garden centre and get another one.
119
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,950
Are you OK? You seem a bit sad.
120
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,790
Did you have a bad night?
121
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,680
My mum died.
122
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,750
Oh, God.
123
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,350
Oh, God I'm so sorry. What happened?
124
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:15,110
Nothing, really.
125
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:20,950
Hospital phoned during the
night and... she just went.
126
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,160
She didn't... she didn't know so...
127
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,990
.. it's probably for the best.
128
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,390
- What are you doing here?
- Mum! - Don't say anything.
129
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:34,630
- Cathy, just got a text from a hotel.
- Got some really bad news!
130
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:38,350
Oh, no, Cathy, our
holiday's been cancelled.
131
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,420
Oh, OK.
132
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:47,310
- We're winding you up!
- Classic!
133
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:51,270
We've got a really cruel
sense of humour, babe.
134
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,110
Everyone's like, "Kelly!"
135
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,550
And I'm like, "What?!" and
they're like, "You know!"
136
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,740
And I'm like, "Whatever!"
137
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,430
- Just wait in the car.
- I'm not waiting in the car.
138
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:07,270
- I'm fucking starving. - I'll only be couple
of minutes. - She'd better have granola.
139
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,000
- How could anyone not
have granola? - Indeed.
140
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,830
It's actually quite light when it's empty.
141
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,870
Well, it would be, wouldn't it?
142
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,200
Yeah. I suppose it would be.
143
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,910
Oh, hello. Thanks for bringing in this.
144
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,990
It's OK, Cath, my little cherub.
145
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,830
Sorry, it's so early.
146
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,350
- Good time at the theatre?
- Yeah, it was good thanks, yeah.
147
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,550
We got ice cream. They're only
little but you can have two.
148
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,750
Oh, it's a different class
of person at the theatre.
149
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,710
Everyone's old and they
sort of look clever.
150
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,070
- It's a very distinguished crowd. - Right.
- I wore my glasses, didn't I, help me fit in.
151
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,950
Yes.
152
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,030
What do you listen to in the car?
153
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,470
- What's the name of that
Scottish instrument? - Bagpipes.
154
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,150
Can you play 'em?
155
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,310
Shall we make some room in the boot?
156
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,430
Good morning, Michael, my
little cherub. You look rough.
157
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,470
- We went to the theatre last night.
- Did you?
158
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,670
We saw a very long play
about the climate change.
159
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,000
Sounds great, mate.
160
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,870
You see, I never would have done that if I
hadn't seen a play about climate change.
161
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,080
Very good, Derek.
162
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,990
Just doing my bit to save the universe.
163
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,630
- They can get a cab.
- No, no, it's 40 quid.
164
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:24,310
- Let me just explain to them...
- Babe! Have you got the hats?
165
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,110
Yeah, I think I'm might
wear mine on the plane.
166
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:33,110
It's very nice, love.
167
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,190
Are you allowed to wear
a hat on the plane?
168
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,670
Let me just explain to them...
169
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,640
No, listen, I wanted
to say to you first...
170
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,150
You know when things like this happen?
171
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:48,550
And... you can see things differently.
172
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:52,870
And life is too short. I mean,
it's not... It's not about that,
173
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:59,190
but it's when... you know you've been
waiting decades to say something.
174
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,390
- What's wrong with my voice?
- Don't get into this now.
175
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,030
- (What's wrong with my voice?)
- It's the same as your face.
176
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,230
It's never going to change,
no point talking about it.
177
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,040
- [What's wrong with my face?!]
- Sorry.
178
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:14,280
- Yeah, yeah, it changes your perspective,
doesn't it, when you lose someone. - Yeah.
179
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,880
- It gives you a kind of courage.
- Yeah.
180
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,680
What do you want to say to me?
181
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,270
Mum! Nan and Grandad are here!
182
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,720
It's all right. Go on. They can wait.
183
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,400
Mum!!
184
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,230
- A whole quiche...
- I was hungry.
185
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:43,190
- Morning!
- Think about it, Cathy. Picture it.
186
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,910
An entire quiche for her dinner.
187
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,910
- I was going to have the other half
this morning. - You all right, Nan?
188
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,070
- He's being a dick.
- Oh, well.
189
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,310
How's she ever going
to get her figure back
190
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,710
if she's eating an entire quiche?
191
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,470
You had one as well, you thick bastard.
192
00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:01,110
- Yes, but I've got the body for it.
- I don't know what you're saying
but I'm sure it's fucking stupid.
193
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,390
- The weight spreads around me like
butter, Cathy. - Yeah? - Honestly.
194
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,510
I could eat 100 quiches a
day and you wouldn't notice.
195
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:11,950
A million quiches a week.
I'm built beautifully.
196
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,440
It's wonderful to look at. But her?
197
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,990
You should've seen her when we first met.
198
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:25,030
I took her to Butlin's and I
kissed every bone in her body.
199
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,590
- Well. Let me help you.
- Get off.
200
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:32,840
What you have to remember, Derek, is that when
you go to see a play, it's meant to be boring.
201
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:35,840
All right, Reg?
202
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,510
Who knows?
203
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:43,550
- You don't admit the play
was boring, obviously. - No.
204
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:49,310
You use words like clever or
relevant or thought-provoking.
205
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,880
- Interesting.
- Yes. Well done.
206
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:58,080
Because the more bored you
are, the better the play.
207
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:06,150
So, well, last night...
208
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,910
.. that was obviously
a very good play, then.
209
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,800
Yes, it was excellent.
210
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:18,430
- Jason, love, shall me and Michael put the
bags...? - What do we do about Doctors?
211
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,350
- Sorry? - What do we do if they
arrive with the washing machine
212
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,600
and Doctors is on?
213
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:29,470
Um... Well, maybe you could just let
them in and then carry on watching?
214
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,720
You want me to leave the room
in the middle of Doctors?
215
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,270
- She's out of her mind. - Jason,
love, shall me and Michael... - Kelly!
216
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,510
You'll have to take some
of this stuff out, babe.
217
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:44,670
But it's got my magazines in
it, babe. And my lucky rocks.
218
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,230
Taking rocks on a plane...
219
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,630
We'll just pay a little
bit extra at the airport.
220
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,390
Taking rocks on a plane, though...
221
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:57,350
- Shall we put them in the car?
- Yeah. Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Michael.
222
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,480
Here.
223
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,640
- Have a drink on me. - Oh, Grandad, you
don't have to... - No, wait a minute.
224
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,720
Didn't know I had that.
225
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:15,710
I've got this assembly this morning
and I've got to do it because it's
Noah and he's got Asperger's.
226
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,950
And he's mad about lions, so
why don't I come round later?
227
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,830
Cathy. Do you know the last
thing I spoke to my mum about?
228
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,750
Knock-knock! Morning!
229
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:30,590
I've got my new fella in the car, Cathy, have
a look. He's 24 and he's thick as pig shit.
230
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:34,550
- It's like winning in the lottery.
Oh, bloody hell. - I better...
231
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,630
- Have you changed your carpet?
- Hi, Mum.
232
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,430
Oh, here's the idiot! Forgot her passport!
233
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,950
What kind of idiot forgets their passport?
234
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,120
- Can I have it?
- Yeah, course, love.
235
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,520
No, you can have it, babe, here you go.
236
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,840
- Can I have a look at it, Carol?
- Yeah. Course.
237
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,310
Seriously though, Mum, can I have it...
238
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,920
Yeah, no, seriously, Kell, here it is.
239
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:32,550
His dad still gives him money
because he's like 24 or something
stupid and he's thick as pig shit.
240
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,110
Honestly. He buys me flowers.
241
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,430
What the fuck am I going
to do with flowers?
242
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,870
Amazing body? Yes.
243
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:45,150
Thinks I'm younger than I am? Yes.
244
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,230
And up here, nothing.
245
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:52,280
Does anything that I tell
him. Couldn't believe me luck!
246
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,960
Kell!
247
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,480
That wasn't too difficult, was it?
248
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:10,110
Yeah... Silly me! Thanks, Mum.
249
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:15,360
- See, I've still got the fringe?
- Yeah...
250
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,880
- See you in ten days.
- Oh, come on, Kell. Don't be needy.
251
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,190
Cheer up, Michael. Might never happen.
252
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,100
She's got three bottles of ketchup!
253
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:36,750
Oh, get a life! How much
ketchup does she need?
254
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,550
I look like a serial killer, don't I?
255
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:45,320
Yeah, but one of the sexy serial killers.
256
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,270
That's such a lovely thing to say.
257
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,400
Come on.
258
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,670
- What's going on?
- Nothing, Reg.
259
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:02,590
- You all right, babe? You OK?
- Yeah.
260
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,360
No, I'm good, yeah.
261
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,960
- I think when we get our own place, she
will start to speak to me different. - Yeah.
262
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:19,830
Your mum said my passport photo
looks like a sexy serial killer.
263
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,310
- Did she?
- Yeah.
264
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,720
- That's nice of her.
- Yeah.
265
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,830
So why don't you go home and have a kip?
266
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,150
I've got this end of year
assembly this morning with Noah
267
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,590
and I've literally got to be there.
But I can come round after that.
268
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,310
You need time to process
everything that's happened
269
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:46,110
and you can't even begin to do
that if you haven't had any sleep.
270
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,320
So I'm going to order them a cab. OK?
271
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:56,510
Do you know the last thing
I spoke to my mum about?
272
00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:00,830
Oh, no. Sorry you asked me
that before, didn't you? Sorry.
273
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,160
No, no, what did you speak to her about?
274
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,760
You.
275
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,200
Oh, erm...
276
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,400
Nothing bad, I hope.
277
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,230
What do you mean me?
278
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,320
What do you think I mean, Cathy?
279
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,470
You know what I'm talking
about. My mum's was just...
280
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,590
- No, don't do this now. - My mum was
just saying I should tell you how I...
281
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,750
Don't do this now, Michael, No, not now.
282
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,510
Right then, my little
cherubs. Pauline's just...
283
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,310
Pauline!
284
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,470
I can do that.
285
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,160
- Pauline!
- I can do that.
286
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,320
- I can't do... - Pauline. - Wait!
287
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,910
It actually gets very
restricted because...
288
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,920
Oh, no, I can do that.
289
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,350
I can't...
290
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,600
Pauline!
291
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,950
Well, the point is it's 100 times
worse than your mother's was.
292
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,310
- Shall we get you off
to work, darling? - Yes!
293
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,310
- I was just updating Jason about
my wrist, Cathy. - Oh, yeah?
294
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,150
- I've had to go private,
haven't I. - Yeah.
295
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,630
- It's so much better than the NHS.
- You get mints in the waiting room.
296
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,470
- Feel the finish.
- I'm OK...
297
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,110
Feel the finish, Cathy.
Don't be difficult.
298
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,830
Yes, lovely.
299
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,550
- Can you imagine me in
an NHS hospital? - God no!
300
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,480
I'd have to burn my clothes.
301
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,030
- Do you want a hand with that?
- No, no, you OK, mate, you head off.
302
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,790
Come on, don't be silly.
303
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,520
No, no, I am fine. You head off.
304
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:44,350
Come on! Let me help, what's
the matter, let me help you.
305
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,110
You don't like me any more?
306
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,240
No. OK, OK.
307
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,590
Michael, don't do this.
308
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,670
You know she's got rocks in here?
309
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,760
Yeah.
310
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,920
Apparently, they are lucky or something.
311
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,150
Why would I want to be thin?
312
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,350
Because it would be
nice for me to look at.
313
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,390
Don't laugh at me.
314
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,790
You're a male chauvinist.
315
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,600
That's your answer to everything.
316
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,800
Look at Cheryl Cole.
317
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,190
Look how thin she is.
318
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,390
How hard can it be?
319
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,120
I'm 86!
320
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,400
And here comes the avalanche of excuses.
321
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,390
I'd like to see you getting
Cheryl Cole to peel your pears.
322
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,140
Oh, she wouldn't have the patience.
323
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,310
But I tell you who would
have the patience.
324
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,640
I tell you who'd peel a pear meticulously.
325
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,110
- Lorraine Kelly.
- Oh, please!
326
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,390
She could have any man she wanted.
327
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:25,590
She's always so happy. She
doesn't let anything get her down.
328
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,790
Yeah, well, that would soon
change if she lived with you.
329
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:34,990
I tell you. Walking round Debenhams
with Lorraine Kelly on my arm.
330
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,900
Yeah, that would be something.
331
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,950
Yeah, no. It's going well.
332
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,750
- She was really nice to me
the other day. - Oh, good.
333
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,070
I'm trying to sort of construct
for myself a better personality,
334
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,870
so it's like the going to the
theatre or like the other day,
335
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:02,870
I was whistling in my car or like
I don't know if you've noticed
336
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,230
- but I'm calling people my
little cherub. - Oh, yeah.
337
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,680
Standing like this.
338
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,630
Anything to keep off the demons.
339
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:14,710
Sometimes I get a bit worried that maybe I'm
not as intelligent or handsome as I think.
340
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,830
- But it's just the demons.
- Yeah.
341
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,070
I've still got Pauline
so I can't be that bad!
342
00:22:19,620 --> 00:22:20,400
I'd better go.
343
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,790
It can be a build-up of
little things, can't it,
344
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,640
then suddenly one day out of
nowhere they walk out on you.
345
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,080
I'm coming, my little darling! Sorry!
346
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:39,640
I was just telling Michael about the icebergs
and the penguins and all the bloody CO2.
347
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,150
Did you know what I meant?
348
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,280
- Don't do this now.
- But did you?
349
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:20,280
- So you think you might...
- You don't want to do this today.
350
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:25,680
You held my hand, Cathy,
on New Year's Eve.
351
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,630
You held my hand, you
stroked it with your thumb.
352
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,230
And we've been to garden
centres. I know that's not...
353
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,990
They're just garden centres. I know it sounds mad
when I say it out loud because I know they're
354
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,790
just garden centres but we've been
to three of these garden centres
355
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,840
and you still haven't bought any chairs.
356
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,790
So what are we going to do?
I mean, do you want chairs?
357
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,710
Or do you do not want chairs?
358
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,150
Are we just going to spend our
lives just going to garden centres
359
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:02,030
and not buying any chairs and bouncing
round the place like everything's OK?
360
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:06,670
Because the problem with the world, Cath, the
problem with the world is everything's not OK.
361
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,910
And no-one does things
362
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:15,910
and no-one... no-one dares to tell
the truth because it's scary and
363
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,590
it's hard and it's messy...
364
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,800
.. and no-one... nobody
wants to do difficult things.
365
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,430
But the world is difficult
366
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:32,710
and some things are unfair and
last night my mum died and...
367
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,720
.. she wasn't that kind of
woman... You know, I could never...
368
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,950
- You don't want to do this now.
- I do. - You don't, Michael.
369
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,430
- Can I... can I tell you
something, Cath? - No.
370
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,230
I really, really, really
want to tell you something.
371
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,760
You don't, Michael. Not like this.
372
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,790
But you know what I'm
going to say, don't you?
373
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,040
Cathy.
374
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,740
And you can feel it too, can't you?
375
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,030
Then we... Then we
should to talk about it...
376
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:21,190
- But what if...
- What?
377
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:25,470
What? No, say it, say it. Say it if you
are feeling something, you should...
378
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,360
What if I just miss Dave?
379
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,920
Ah, Jesus.
380
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,000
Ah, I am so sorry.
381
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,040
I'm so, so sorry.
382
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,190
I...
383
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:03,590
Michael. No, Michael,
don't... Michael. God.
384
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,190
Michael, don't go like this.
385
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:08,640
Oi! Taxi!
386
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,710
- Bye, Mum. - Bye! - Bye,
Cathy! - We'll FaceTime, yeah?
387
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:20,670
- Yeah. Yeah. - Come here! - Kelly's going
to set us all up on a WhatsApp group. - Great.
388
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,910
Then we can send you
pictures of what we're eating
389
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,390
and you can send us pictures
of what you're eating.
390
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:30,070
- Passport? - I've got it.
Bye, Mum! - Bye, Cathy. - Bye.
391
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:33,230
- Do you see how sad she is we're going?
- Oh, my God, it's so cute.
392
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:37,550
- Michael! Hey! - Michael! We're
going to have oysters for breakfast.
393
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,630
- I bet you're well jealous.
- Michael! - My mum's calling you.
394
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,110
I'm going to sit in the
back so we can hold hands.
395
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,200
Michael!
396
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,430
♪ I've got my ticket
for the long way 'round
397
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,510
♪ Two bottle whiskey for the way
398
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:23,190
♪ And I sure would like some sweet company
399
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,870
♪ And I'm leaving
tomorrow, what do you say?
400
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:28,710
♪ When I'm gone
401
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,150
♪ When I'm gone
402
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,350
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
403
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,270
♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair
404
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,990
♪ You're gonna miss me everywhere
405
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:39,950
♪ Oh, you're gonna miss me
406
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,040
♪ When I'm gone. ♪
33377
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