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(somber music)
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- [Man] The death rate was extremely high.
5
00:01:48,428 --> 00:01:51,645
- [Man] The best guess is that
some infectious agent is--
6
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,343
- [Man] It's an epidemic,
a disease that's a killer.
7
00:01:53,343 --> 00:01:55,385
- [Man] This probably
means they are dealing
8
00:01:55,385 --> 00:01:58,803
with some new deadly
sexually transmitted disease.
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00:01:58,803 --> 00:02:00,290
- [Man] One of the most
frightening medical mysteries
10
00:02:00,290 --> 00:02:01,606
of modern time.
11
00:02:01,606 --> 00:02:03,093
- The man with the most
publicized case of AIDS,
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00:02:03,093 --> 00:02:04,815
Rock Hudson, flew home from Paris today
13
00:02:04,815 --> 00:02:06,927
on a chartered 747 jet.
14
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,487
Hudson's 6'4 frame--
15
00:02:08,487 --> 00:02:09,321
- [Woman] Rock Hudson
returned to Los Angeles
16
00:02:09,321 --> 00:02:12,302
and was immediately flown
to UCLA Medical Center.
17
00:02:12,302 --> 00:02:15,038
It was there that Hudson
learned he has AIDS.
18
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,360
- [Narrator] It took rock Hudson's death
19
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,465
to capture America's attention.
20
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,627
By that time, AIDS had already killed
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00:02:27,627 --> 00:02:30,267
15.000 other Americans.
22
00:02:33,792 --> 00:02:36,377
(somber music)
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00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:41,584
Rock Hudson is the most
famous name in a giant quilt,
24
00:02:42,502 --> 00:02:46,867
a memorial to tens of thousands
of men, women and children
25
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:50,343
who came along very different
roads to the same fate.
26
00:02:51,982 --> 00:02:55,899
- [Man] Ron winters, Wayne field,
27
00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:02,482
Ray Wright Jr., Paul Edward Richards.
28
00:03:02,826 --> 00:03:05,225
- [Woman] Fred, Andy.
29
00:03:05,225 --> 00:03:08,053
- [Man] Billy, Juan Jimenez.
30
00:03:08,053 --> 00:03:08,887
- [Woman] David.
31
00:03:08,887 --> 00:03:10,707
- [Man] Ron Blard.
32
00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:13,292
(somber music)
33
00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:48,008
- He hated the stereotype
that the heterosexual world
34
00:03:48,809 --> 00:03:51,044
had towards the gay community.
35
00:03:51,882 --> 00:03:55,085
And it wasn't true, and he
was a perfect living soul
36
00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:57,007
as proof of that.
37
00:03:57,007 --> 00:04:01,441
He is a very competitive,
was a very competitive man.
38
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,553
And it hit a great note in my heart
39
00:04:03,553 --> 00:04:05,618
because I'm a very competitive woman.
40
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,741
He was the sixth greatest
athlete in the world
41
00:04:09,741 --> 00:04:11,314
in the decathlon, and placed six.
42
00:04:12,642 --> 00:04:17,144
What, 31, 32 when he was
doing this, he was incredible.
43
00:04:17,144 --> 00:04:19,439
But he was out to prove something.
44
00:04:19,439 --> 00:04:22,192
(crowd cheering)
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00:04:25,703 --> 00:04:27,503
We'd go down and we'd play racquetball,
46
00:04:27,503 --> 00:04:29,569
I'd teach him how to play.
47
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:33,100
And he said, "No problem,
I am a top notch athlete.
48
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,102
"It is nothing for me to pick up anything.
49
00:04:35,102 --> 00:04:38,778
"I am great and wonderful
at everything I do."
50
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,338
I go, "Ha-ha, we'll see."
51
00:04:42,562 --> 00:04:45,705
My biggest pleasure was to be whipping him
52
00:04:45,705 --> 00:04:46,689
around that court.
53
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,430
Every time he would be diving for a ball
54
00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:53,133
and crash into a wall,
with sweat pouring out,
55
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I would almost fall down laughing.
56
00:04:55,415 --> 00:04:57,232
I said, "You're not in shape, Tom."
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(somber music)
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♪ You gotta be a special lady ♪
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00:05:14,926 --> 00:05:17,157
♪ You got me sitting on top of the world ♪
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00:05:17,157 --> 00:05:19,469
- Every time I hear that
song, I think about it.
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00:05:19,469 --> 00:05:22,512
It's what he made me feel
like a special person.
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00:05:22,512 --> 00:05:24,364
I've always been involved in the church
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and it was very important to me
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00:05:25,695 --> 00:05:29,319
to have a stable
relationship and to commit.
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And in the middle of talking, he says,
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00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:33,321
"Well, I'll marry you, you
know, that's no problem."
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And I said now, did I
ask him or did he ask me?
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00:05:35,185 --> 00:05:38,171
It was always crazy about
how it actually happened.
69
00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:42,442
Three months after we married,
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you could tell it was
something bothering him.
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00:05:44,014 --> 00:05:45,750
He said he wanted to talk to me.
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And he told me he was on drugs
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and that he had been trying to get off
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and he was having a problem
with trying to straighten up.
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00:05:55,435 --> 00:05:56,944
And he said to me at the time, he said,
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00:05:56,944 --> 00:05:58,785
"If you want to be out
of this relationship,
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"I understand 'cause I don't want
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00:06:00,037 --> 00:06:01,922
"to pull you through that."
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00:06:01,922 --> 00:06:04,834
Of course I thought about
it, we prayed about it.
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00:06:04,834 --> 00:06:06,897
In the prayer, I said we took vows
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and it was for better or worse.
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And I said to him, I said,
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"Okay, we said better or worse
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"but this shit better get better."
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(somber music)
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00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,915
- It was her going away party.
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00:06:24,915 --> 00:06:25,999
We were talking to a bunch of people
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and one of our favorite
movies was "Two For The Road"
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with Albert Finney and Audrey Hepburn.
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00:06:31,952 --> 00:06:34,563
And there was one scene
in "Two For The Road"
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towards the end of the film
that Jeffrey and I knew
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00:06:36,766 --> 00:06:39,099
by heart and we did it, both parts.
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I forget who did which one.
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There was this pause
right after we finished
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and some guy looked at us and he said,
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"I was genuinely moved."
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And Jeffrey Wright burst out laughing
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and I remember after that for years,
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every time we would see
something in the movies
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that was either funny or
charming or something,
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Jeffrey would say, "I
was genuinely moved."
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00:06:59,930 --> 00:07:04,794
He was the kind of a person
I was when I was a teenager
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00:07:04,794 --> 00:07:09,799
but he still had that sort of
childlike teenage innocence.
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Jeffrey had favorite movie stars
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and his favorites turned out in many cases
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to be my favorites.
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♪ Why should I feel discouraged ♪
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♪ Why should the shadows come ♪
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Remember "The Wedding" was
probably his favorite film.
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00:07:36,846 --> 00:07:38,738
I think it was because
he identified so much
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00:07:38,738 --> 00:07:40,490
with the character of Frankie Adams,
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00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:42,125
who's played by Julie Harris.
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Frankie felt like she didn't belong.
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00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,659
I think Jeffrey identified as a person
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who didn't know what he
wanted to do with his life.
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You know how they used to say
that there are some people
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who are too gentle to live among wolves?
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That was Jeffrey.
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00:08:01,601 --> 00:08:03,513
- [Marcia] This is Marcia
Pally for Our Time.
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00:08:03,513 --> 00:08:04,984
We're at the Chelsea Gay Street Fair.
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00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,226
It's a beautiful afternoon.
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00:08:06,226 --> 00:08:08,328
We have just about everything here today.
123
00:08:08,328 --> 00:08:11,791
Gay atheists, gay Lutherans,
all people, young people.
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00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,014
How do you feel about
the gay community today?
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00:08:14,014 --> 00:08:15,185
- Oh, it makes me very nervous,
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00:08:15,185 --> 00:08:16,736
but then again, most things do.
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00:08:17,678 --> 00:08:18,955
(Marcia laughs)
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00:08:18,955 --> 00:08:21,541
(somber music)
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00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:28,778
- I don't have any concept
of what happens to us
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00:08:28,778 --> 00:08:30,340
when we die.
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00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:35,185
In my son's case, knowing
David, I believe he's up there
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right alongside the big man
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00:08:38,398 --> 00:08:42,179
making suggestions and changes and saying,
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00:08:42,179 --> 00:08:45,152
"Well God, if you do it this way,
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00:08:45,152 --> 00:08:48,891
"maybe just maybe things will
work out a little better."
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00:08:48,891 --> 00:08:51,477
(somber music)
137
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:01,231
- David was full speed ahead.
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00:09:01,231 --> 00:09:04,344
Everything about him was a forward motion.
139
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,056
Sometimes I would just look at him
140
00:09:06,056 --> 00:09:07,230
and marvel at him.
141
00:09:08,138 --> 00:09:10,610
Because watching him was
like watching someone
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00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:12,299
actually eat life.
143
00:09:12,299 --> 00:09:13,980
And in the back of my mind, I thought,
144
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:15,872
"He's my middle life eater.
145
00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:18,575
"He really knows how to extract the most."
146
00:09:22,422 --> 00:09:25,047
He's a very strong child
physically, hated baths.
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00:09:26,756 --> 00:09:28,248
So when I would hold
him in his little tub,
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I would have to grasp him very firmly
149
00:09:30,059 --> 00:09:31,394
or he was often running.
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00:09:32,382 --> 00:09:35,054
And the doctor noticed
bruises on his upper chest
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00:09:35,054 --> 00:09:38,708
and upper arms much as you
would take hold of a child
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00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,110
if you were gonna shake him,
153
00:09:41,050 --> 00:09:44,073
and asked that we put
David into the hospital
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to see if he was an easy bruiser
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or if he was being battered.
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00:09:49,809 --> 00:09:51,661
When they ran the test, they discovered
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not only was he an easy bruiser,
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he was in fact, a classic
severe hemophiliac.
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00:09:59,239 --> 00:10:01,824
(somber music)
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00:10:10,979 --> 00:10:12,622
- If you were in the Navy,
you had to have a wife.
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00:10:12,622 --> 00:10:14,274
That was part of the Navy career.
162
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,278
I spent 18 years with my ex-wife
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00:10:18,278 --> 00:10:22,011
and had a decent relationship,
I think with her,
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00:10:22,011 --> 00:10:25,054
but I only spent five years with David
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and they were probably the
happiest five years of my life.
166
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:35,345
At the time that we met, I was
taken aback with his looks.
167
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,890
Of course that's always a good
place to start (chuckles).
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00:10:42,202 --> 00:10:46,466
And he admitted to me later
that he was taken aback
169
00:10:46,466 --> 00:10:49,302
by my Rolex. (laughs)
170
00:10:51,591 --> 00:10:55,195
Neither one of us was
particularly enthralled
171
00:10:55,195 --> 00:10:57,867
with the fact that we
turned out to be gay.
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00:10:57,867 --> 00:11:02,692
David had had a hang up
ever since his teenage years
173
00:11:02,692 --> 00:11:05,535
with the fact that he was probably gay,
174
00:11:05,535 --> 00:11:09,579
and he would have become
an interior designer
175
00:11:09,579 --> 00:11:11,371
if it weren't for the
great stigma attached
176
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:14,534
to that occupation, and therefore,
177
00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:17,387
decided to become a
landscape architect instead
178
00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:19,889
and was doing quite well
179
00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:21,844
in his landscape architecture business.
180
00:11:35,765 --> 00:11:38,348
- Many of us believe that
it may be infectious,
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00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:41,251
that it may be a new mutant type of virus,
182
00:11:41,251 --> 00:11:43,723
a cytomegalovirus that has mutated
183
00:11:43,723 --> 00:11:46,866
and it is spreading through
these individuals suppressing
184
00:11:46,866 --> 00:11:49,929
their immune system and setting
them up for these events.
185
00:11:49,929 --> 00:11:52,872
But that's just a theory
at this period of time.
186
00:11:52,872 --> 00:11:55,945
- I don't know how I got
it, I fit the profile
187
00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:58,107
of kinda typical capsules
patient in my age
188
00:11:58,107 --> 00:11:59,869
and that I'm gay and...
189
00:12:01,985 --> 00:12:04,143
But I don't know how I got it.
190
00:12:04,143 --> 00:12:07,046
- So far doctors have only
documented 60 known cases
191
00:12:07,046 --> 00:12:10,240
among gay men, so it is
by no means an epidemic.
192
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,502
They are concerned that
it is attacking heavily
193
00:12:12,502 --> 00:12:14,774
in the gay community and
they're working on theories
194
00:12:14,774 --> 00:12:16,145
to explain why.
195
00:12:16,145 --> 00:12:18,838
In San Francisco Lindy Yi, New Center 4.
196
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,280
- [Interviewer] Do we know
for certain what caused it?
197
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,113
- No.
198
00:12:21,113 --> 00:12:24,000
- Do we even know whether it's
a virus, bacteria, or what?
199
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,155
- There are a lot of
theories, but at this point,
200
00:12:26,155 --> 00:12:27,967
we know nothing for certain.
201
00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:29,409
- [Interviewer] Do we know how it spreads?
202
00:12:29,409 --> 00:12:30,242
- No.
203
00:12:30,242 --> 00:12:32,609
- Now if we don't know how to cure it,
204
00:12:32,609 --> 00:12:34,724
it must be spreading like wildfire.
205
00:12:34,724 --> 00:12:37,490
- Yes, they're growing
at an exponential rate.
206
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,550
- [Narrator] Among the
victims is Bobby Campbell.
207
00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:42,842
The San Francisco
resident describes himself
208
00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:44,791
as the AIDS poster boy.
209
00:12:44,791 --> 00:12:47,447
- For me personally, I've
had fungal infections,
210
00:12:47,447 --> 00:12:49,289
I've had warts, I've had stomatitis,
211
00:12:49,289 --> 00:12:51,441
which is an infection
of the mouth so serious
212
00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:54,804
that I would not be able to
eat, would not be able to talk
213
00:12:54,804 --> 00:12:56,178
and I have cancer.
214
00:13:01,741 --> 00:13:04,404
- [Narrator] Bobby Campbell
was the 16th person
215
00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:06,826
in San Francisco to be diagnosed
216
00:13:06,826 --> 00:13:08,751
with this mysterious disease.
217
00:13:10,630 --> 00:13:13,723
A nurse himself, he
understood the importance
218
00:13:13,723 --> 00:13:16,829
of getting out the warning
about this new health danger.
219
00:13:19,539 --> 00:13:22,251
But despite the efforts of
those like Bobby Campbell,
220
00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:27,256
to most people, AIDS remained
a very distant sort of threat.
221
00:13:30,174 --> 00:13:33,428
(light dramatic music)
222
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,954
- For years I'd been
wanting to have a child
223
00:14:04,954 --> 00:14:07,246
and I'd been in discussion
with several other gentlemen
224
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:10,770
about having a baby and
just trying to be picky
225
00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:12,655
with who and what involvement.
226
00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:16,055
Tom founded the Gay Games
227
00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:18,448
and I became a member of the board.
228
00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:21,554
We were both gay, we became best friends.
229
00:14:22,412 --> 00:14:24,384
When I thought about it,
I thought there could be
230
00:14:24,384 --> 00:14:25,354
no better man
231
00:14:27,894 --> 00:14:28,958
so I decided to take the chance
232
00:14:28,958 --> 00:14:32,101
to see if Tom liked children, number one,
233
00:14:32,101 --> 00:14:35,565
and then start with that,
and which is what we did.
234
00:14:35,565 --> 00:14:40,570
On the bridge coming back
home, in his little Alfa Romeo,
235
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:42,552
I said, "How do you feel about kids?"
236
00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:45,064
He went, and he's driving,
237
00:14:45,064 --> 00:14:48,838
said, "I love kids, I've
always wanted to have a child."
238
00:14:48,838 --> 00:14:53,660
I said, "Tom, how Would you
like to have a child with me?
239
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,423
"You're wonderful, you're
athletic, you're smart,
240
00:14:56,423 --> 00:14:58,845
"you're a doctor, my mother
would have no complaints,
241
00:14:58,845 --> 00:15:00,547
"everything that Jewish
mama would ever want
242
00:15:00,547 --> 00:15:01,478
"for her husband."
243
00:15:02,549 --> 00:15:04,951
And he says you're
kidding, I'm like, "No."
244
00:15:04,951 --> 00:15:06,896
And he starts turning, and so the car
245
00:15:06,896 --> 00:15:07,730
is swerving the bridge.
246
00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:10,520
I said, "Wait a minute, look at the road!"
247
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,142
He was just so happy.
248
00:15:13,142 --> 00:15:17,477
If you had seen his face in
that warm, sensitive man,
249
00:15:17,477 --> 00:15:20,219
he was everything that I
would want for my child
250
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:21,180
to grow up with.
251
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:27,726
In that moment, I felt this would be truly
252
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,061
a little American family.
253
00:15:31,771 --> 00:15:33,182
Well, this was a community event.
254
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,736
I mean everybody's been
waiting for this child,
255
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,030
especially Tom and I.
256
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,741
And the baby comes out one, two, three.
257
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,786
I hear the cry and it was wonderful.
258
00:15:44,739 --> 00:15:47,416
All I know is here is Tom,
he's looking at the baby
259
00:15:47,416 --> 00:15:49,546
and they're all just
surrounding this little baby
260
00:15:49,546 --> 00:15:51,561
and he says, "It's a boy!"
261
00:15:51,561 --> 00:15:54,160
I just remember my doctor
looking at him he says,
262
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,973
"Dr. Tom, this is a girl.
263
00:15:56,973 --> 00:16:01,222
"You just looked at the
umbilical cord." (laughs)
264
00:16:01,222 --> 00:16:03,567
And I just laughed, 'cause I
thought it was a little Nathan
265
00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:06,105
and there were little Jessica.
266
00:16:06,105 --> 00:16:08,858
(cheerful music)
267
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,005
- There were many times I would be asleep
268
00:16:16,005 --> 00:16:17,687
at one or two o'clock in the morning
269
00:16:17,687 --> 00:16:19,732
and the little guy would
come to the side of my bed
270
00:16:19,732 --> 00:16:24,737
and shake me and I tried to
open my eyes and be civilized.
271
00:16:26,412 --> 00:16:28,568
And he'd say, "Mom, I got a bleed."
272
00:16:28,568 --> 00:16:30,692
So we would grow up
our way to the kitchen,
273
00:16:30,692 --> 00:16:33,876
and I would set up for
what is called an infusion.
274
00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:39,248
And you just hope to hell you
get that needle in the vein
275
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,232
the first go.
276
00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:42,912
And it's always a question,
277
00:16:42,912 --> 00:16:45,735
how many times do I have to
stick him before I get it in?
278
00:16:45,735 --> 00:16:48,470
And please God let me
not increase his pain.
279
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,693
After the actual infusion was over,
280
00:16:53,693 --> 00:16:55,935
it was not easy for him to sleep.
281
00:16:55,935 --> 00:16:59,869
He would get bleeds in his
ankles and the joint would swell.
282
00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:02,101
So painful that he could
not even bear the weight
283
00:17:02,101 --> 00:17:03,616
of a sheet on that joint.
284
00:17:06,733 --> 00:17:09,255
He would approach me with a request like,
285
00:17:09,255 --> 00:17:12,391
"Can we take the training
wheels off my bike?"
286
00:17:12,391 --> 00:17:17,396
So he has to realize and accept
I may have to pay the price.
287
00:17:17,717 --> 00:17:20,539
I may have a bleed, I may
end up with an infusion,
288
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,665
I may end up with a joint that's hurting.
289
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:28,648
- I felt it was important for
David to have as much freedom
290
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:33,022
and abilities of his own
without us interfering
291
00:17:33,022 --> 00:17:34,624
and putting restrictions on him,
292
00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:37,429
so that he could have a normal life.
293
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,550
I think it was very important
to David in his mind
294
00:17:41,550 --> 00:17:43,806
to be as normal as possible.
295
00:17:49,609 --> 00:17:52,932
- He went through programs,
he went through detox
296
00:17:52,932 --> 00:17:56,138
and he did well for a little
while and then he'd slip.
297
00:17:57,717 --> 00:17:59,679
When you're going
through it, it's painful.
298
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,972
When you look at it back,
you think of how much worse
299
00:18:02,972 --> 00:18:03,853
it could have been.
300
00:18:03,853 --> 00:18:07,031
I mean he was,
301
00:18:07,031 --> 00:18:11,313
his caringness protected me.
302
00:18:12,251 --> 00:18:13,843
He didn't let me hurt,
303
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,775
he didn't take my
furniture out of my house,
304
00:18:15,775 --> 00:18:18,180
he didn't rob me, he didn't rob anybody.
305
00:18:19,448 --> 00:18:21,550
The only person he ever hurt was his self.
306
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,453
And it was a struggle for five years
307
00:18:24,453 --> 00:18:26,155
until after our daughter was born.
308
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,909
Rob wanted to be the
best father that he could
309
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:33,743
and he was just so nurturing
and caring about his daughter.
310
00:18:33,743 --> 00:18:36,325
He bathed her, he washed
her, he took her for walks.
311
00:18:36,325 --> 00:18:38,838
he rolled in the stroller,
he changed diapers.
312
00:18:38,838 --> 00:18:40,419
That wasn't a problem, I don't like that,
313
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:41,894
because he didn't mind it.
314
00:18:43,042 --> 00:18:44,894
And she was so attached to him,
315
00:18:44,894 --> 00:18:46,946
her daddy this, her daddy that.
316
00:18:46,946 --> 00:18:49,717
I think that's when he
realized he had to change.
317
00:18:49,717 --> 00:18:52,302
(upbeat music)
318
00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:58,798
I felt great when he was drug
free, I was so proud of him.
319
00:18:58,798 --> 00:19:00,549
And when he was drug-free, I said,
320
00:19:00,549 --> 00:19:02,551
all the bad stuff was going past
321
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:04,553
and all the good stuff could then start.
322
00:19:06,365 --> 00:19:08,380
Not just the love but the building.
323
00:19:13,873 --> 00:19:15,414
- The disease called AIDS,
324
00:19:15,414 --> 00:19:18,657
Acquired Immune Deficiency
Syndrome sounds less than deadly,
325
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,159
more like a diet pill.
326
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,912
AIDS has struck only
a reported 1500 people
327
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,231
but it has killed almost 600 of them.
328
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,707
And as yet no one with
AIDS has been cured.
329
00:19:27,707 --> 00:19:28,958
- Puzzling new disease has appeared
330
00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:31,400
in the past couple of years
that is spreading rapidly
331
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,673
among homosexuals, and it
is a disease that is fatal.
332
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:37,136
- From an epidemic point of view,
333
00:19:37,136 --> 00:19:39,678
there have been more deaths
from Kappa C, sarcoma,
334
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,041
pneumocystis pneumonia, than had occurred
335
00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:44,583
with all the cases of toxic shock syndrome
336
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,325
and the Philadelphia outbreak
337
00:19:46,325 --> 00:19:48,187
of Legionnaires disease combined.
338
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:52,081
- In this disease many
people feel lies the secret
339
00:19:52,081 --> 00:19:54,413
to what causes cancer in general.
340
00:19:54,413 --> 00:19:57,226
Why is the NIH dragging its heels so?
341
00:19:57,226 --> 00:19:59,648
- Do you, are raising the
possibility that people
342
00:19:59,648 --> 00:20:01,630
are dismissing it
because it strikes mostly
343
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:02,581
the gay community?
344
00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:04,373
- There's no question in my mind.
345
00:20:04,373 --> 00:20:05,521
If this were happening to you
346
00:20:05,521 --> 00:20:08,257
and the white straight
middle class community,
347
00:20:08,257 --> 00:20:10,609
it would have been attended
to a long time ago.
348
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:13,162
- [Woman] Congress wants to
know what to do about AIDS.
349
00:20:13,162 --> 00:20:15,684
Victims of the disease say the
government has done nothing
350
00:20:15,684 --> 00:20:17,486
and has no plan to.
351
00:20:17,486 --> 00:20:20,399
Committee members were told
that victims are often gay men
352
00:20:20,399 --> 00:20:24,127
or IV drug users, groups
already discriminated against.
353
00:20:24,127 --> 00:20:27,546
This witness, a victim from San Francisco.
354
00:20:27,546 --> 00:20:31,030
- This is not a political
issue, this is a health issue,
355
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,473
this is not a gay issue,
this is a human issue.
356
00:20:34,473 --> 00:20:36,979
And I do not, I came
here today in the hope
357
00:20:36,979 --> 00:20:41,133
that my epitaph would not
read that I died of red tape.
358
00:20:58,587 --> 00:21:00,139
- [Narrator] In just two years,
359
00:21:01,410 --> 00:21:04,113
the number of AIDS cases
was nearly doubling
360
00:21:04,113 --> 00:21:05,577
every six months.
361
00:21:06,946 --> 00:21:10,963
The government declared AIDS
its number one health priority.
362
00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:16,986
Yet of the $3.8 billion spent
on health research in America,
363
00:21:16,986 --> 00:21:20,242
less than 1% went to this epidemic.
364
00:21:31,151 --> 00:21:32,071
- For the better part
of the month of October,
365
00:21:32,071 --> 00:21:33,806
he was feeling pretty lousy.
366
00:21:34,981 --> 00:21:38,047
I tried to get him to eat
his dinner and he couldn't
367
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,660
and he went upstairs, went
to bed about 8:30, 9 o'clock
368
00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:44,884
and was feeling very miserable.
369
00:21:44,884 --> 00:21:49,318
And I called his doctor
at home and told him
370
00:21:49,318 --> 00:21:52,544
that I was even more
concerned than I'd never been.
371
00:21:53,863 --> 00:21:55,744
And so he told me to have him admitted
372
00:21:55,744 --> 00:21:58,060
to the emergency room right away.
373
00:21:59,368 --> 00:22:01,944
And he walked in and he never came out
374
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,503
David died at 4:30 in the
morning of 19 November,
375
00:22:14,503 --> 00:22:18,277
and I was required to be
at my desk at the Pentagon
376
00:22:18,277 --> 00:22:21,200
at eight o'clock in uniform ready to work,
377
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,083
looking like a prim and
proper naval officer
378
00:22:24,083 --> 00:22:26,866
having just lost one of
the most important people
379
00:22:26,866 --> 00:22:27,699
in my life.
380
00:22:28,777 --> 00:22:30,009
Although the Navy thought
that I was carrying
381
00:22:30,009 --> 00:22:33,312
on Navy business, most of that
day I was on the telephone,
382
00:22:33,312 --> 00:22:36,986
talking to funeral
directors and cemeteries
383
00:22:38,137 --> 00:22:39,438
and planned for a funeral.
384
00:22:43,102 --> 00:22:45,254
- This was not gonna happen to me.
385
00:22:45,254 --> 00:22:48,627
It was like three or four years
with all this was going on,
386
00:22:48,627 --> 00:22:52,871
and it didn't reach me in a scary sense
387
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,745
until it became clear that
anybody could get AIDS.
388
00:22:56,745 --> 00:22:59,673
I mean suddenly I was
knowing a dozen people
389
00:22:59,673 --> 00:23:02,221
who were sick instead of two.
390
00:23:02,221 --> 00:23:05,784
Suddenly, there were
30 people who were sick
391
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:07,209
instead of four.
392
00:23:08,157 --> 00:23:12,962
And it hit you like an
overwhelming wave of water.
393
00:23:12,962 --> 00:23:15,925
I mean suddenly cold water
was thrown in your face.
394
00:23:15,925 --> 00:23:17,119
Everybody was dying.
395
00:23:18,007 --> 00:23:19,828
- Any gay male who caught a cold
396
00:23:19,828 --> 00:23:24,243
automatically got scared
to death, they've got AIDS.
397
00:23:24,243 --> 00:23:26,615
So here, I'm seeing the same thing.
398
00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:28,294
He's got a cold, he's like,
399
00:23:28,294 --> 00:23:29,498
"Oh great, now you think you got it,
400
00:23:29,498 --> 00:23:31,287
"join the rest of the crowd."
401
00:23:32,581 --> 00:23:34,203
I just like how crazy,
402
00:23:34,203 --> 00:23:35,904
wouldn't even let it into my head.
403
00:23:39,478 --> 00:23:41,570
- I remembered reading
an article about a baby
404
00:23:41,570 --> 00:23:44,433
in San Francisco who had died
405
00:23:44,433 --> 00:23:46,885
and they had traced it back
to the blood transfusion
406
00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:50,739
it had received and the
alarm started going off
407
00:23:50,739 --> 00:23:53,292
in the back of my mind,
knowing that my son used
408
00:23:53,292 --> 00:23:55,774
immense amounts of blood factor.
409
00:23:55,774 --> 00:23:58,287
And you start getting more and more scared
410
00:23:58,287 --> 00:24:00,272
as there were more and more stories.
411
00:24:02,141 --> 00:24:04,974
- The American Red
Cross is recalling vials
412
00:24:04,974 --> 00:24:07,286
of a blood product used by hemophiliacs.
413
00:24:07,286 --> 00:24:09,898
The product was made with
blood plasma from a donor
414
00:24:09,898 --> 00:24:13,032
who had AIDS, Acquired
Immune Deficiency Syndrome
415
00:24:13,032 --> 00:24:15,674
and the Red Cross is now
trying to avert a new scare.
416
00:24:15,674 --> 00:24:18,157
- All this because one
man gave one pint of blood
417
00:24:18,157 --> 00:24:21,120
at an undisclosed Red
Cross center last year.
418
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,262
This spring he was
diagnosed as having AIDS
419
00:24:23,262 --> 00:24:25,234
and he died in May.
420
00:24:25,234 --> 00:24:28,427
- You just stand there because
what choice do you have?
421
00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:31,680
Do I continue to allow him to live
422
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:36,685
by using the blood product
or do I risk him even more?
423
00:24:37,516 --> 00:24:40,849
He may not get AIDS if I
deny him that blood product,
424
00:24:40,849 --> 00:24:43,382
but what else, what other
kinds of injuries could he get
425
00:24:43,382 --> 00:24:45,707
because I don't give
him that which he needs.
426
00:24:47,658 --> 00:24:49,988
And you go the only way you think best.
427
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:53,115
I want him to live as well as he can now.
428
00:24:57,296 --> 00:24:59,931
- He said, "This is
inside my body, I know it.
429
00:25:01,257 --> 00:25:02,448
"I'm so scared."
430
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:06,235
And I should have listened, but I didn't.
431
00:25:06,235 --> 00:25:09,368
'Cause Jeffrey was always
complaining about something.
432
00:25:09,368 --> 00:25:14,283
He fell and he broke his wrist
that week, he had the flu,
433
00:25:14,283 --> 00:25:15,994
he was feeling like shit
434
00:25:16,875 --> 00:25:20,839
until he got so sick that he collapsed
435
00:25:20,839 --> 00:25:22,864
outside the doctor's office.
436
00:25:24,373 --> 00:25:26,545
I remember I took a six
o'clock flight from Newark
437
00:25:26,545 --> 00:25:28,377
and I went directly to Children's Hospital
438
00:25:28,377 --> 00:25:30,159
which is where he was.
439
00:25:30,159 --> 00:25:32,941
And the first thing I saw was a nurse
440
00:25:32,941 --> 00:25:37,206
outside of Jeffrey's
room putting up signs,
441
00:25:37,206 --> 00:25:41,350
which were precautions for
bodily fluids and blood.
442
00:25:41,350 --> 00:25:45,294
And of course, I mean that's it, you know?
443
00:25:45,294 --> 00:25:47,076
And I remember running into the room,
444
00:25:47,076 --> 00:25:48,530
I pushed the door open.
445
00:25:50,209 --> 00:25:52,861
And he's sitting in the
bed, and he looked at me
446
00:25:52,861 --> 00:25:55,891
and he said, "Honey, did you hear?"
447
00:25:56,775 --> 00:26:00,139
And I didn't have to hear, I just knew,
448
00:26:00,139 --> 00:26:03,402
because of the signs they were
putting up outside his door.
449
00:26:03,402 --> 00:26:06,155
And I sat on the bed and I
told him that we were gonna,
450
00:26:07,047 --> 00:26:09,128
we're gonna do this together.
451
00:26:09,128 --> 00:26:11,080
So this was, it was gonna be all right.
452
00:26:12,231 --> 00:26:14,863
I wanted so much to convince him that,
453
00:26:14,863 --> 00:26:17,936
I knew immediately just from
what I knew in the community
454
00:26:17,936 --> 00:26:20,612
that if he didn't fight, he would die.
455
00:26:22,311 --> 00:26:26,535
And the doctor told me that,
you know, he was gonna die.
456
00:26:26,535 --> 00:26:28,697
I mean this was it.
457
00:26:28,697 --> 00:26:31,950
And I told him that I was
gonna move to San Francisco,
458
00:26:31,950 --> 00:26:34,873
that I would leave my job,
and I would close my apartment
459
00:26:34,873 --> 00:26:37,356
and then I would be there
and I would take care of him.
460
00:26:37,356 --> 00:26:40,599
And he said, "Do you realize
the commitment you're making?"
461
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,641
Because he knew me.
462
00:26:42,641 --> 00:26:44,213
And I said yes.
463
00:26:44,213 --> 00:26:46,775
And I did, I knew it was not gonna be easy
464
00:26:46,775 --> 00:26:47,839
and it was not easy.
465
00:26:50,373 --> 00:26:53,342
- He was a very active man,
he was all always on the go.
466
00:26:53,342 --> 00:26:54,743
If he didn't have anything to do,
467
00:26:54,743 --> 00:26:56,185
he'd walk around the neighborhood.
468
00:26:56,185 --> 00:26:58,757
He just was not the type of
person that would sit down
469
00:26:58,757 --> 00:27:00,582
and watch TV for instance.
470
00:27:02,687 --> 00:27:04,189
And he didn't have any energy.
471
00:27:05,304 --> 00:27:06,635
The only thing we would give to him was,
472
00:27:06,635 --> 00:27:10,108
he had some sort of virus,
he had a viral infection.
473
00:27:10,108 --> 00:27:11,850
Nothing was taking the fever away
474
00:27:11,850 --> 00:27:13,805
and nothing was making him better.
475
00:27:14,713 --> 00:27:15,874
We didn't know what it meant.
476
00:27:15,874 --> 00:27:19,741
We just knew it meant something
bad because at the time,
477
00:27:19,741 --> 00:27:21,417
he came in and he said,
478
00:27:21,417 --> 00:27:24,240
"The nurse said well people
don't live with 40 T cells,
479
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,305
"you got to be dead already."
480
00:27:26,305 --> 00:27:30,379
And he said, it made a play
with him because he kept saying
481
00:27:30,379 --> 00:27:31,850
well I'm supposed to be dead already,
482
00:27:31,850 --> 00:27:34,204
I'm supposed to be dead already.
483
00:27:34,204 --> 00:27:35,037
- They test him for everything.
484
00:27:35,037 --> 00:27:36,825
Nope, come up negative,
everything negative.
485
00:27:36,825 --> 00:27:40,329
He was not satisfied, he just wasn't.
486
00:27:40,329 --> 00:27:42,908
I said, "Tom, it's as if
you're looking to have,
487
00:27:42,908 --> 00:27:44,230
"what is going on?"
488
00:27:46,144 --> 00:27:48,547
I remember this one day, he turned,
489
00:27:48,547 --> 00:27:50,252
he was walking away from me here.
490
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,972
I really did see that
he's been losing weight.
491
00:27:55,745 --> 00:27:59,988
This is a muscular, strong,
healthy, vibrant Tom.
492
00:27:59,988 --> 00:28:02,564
For the first time, I
said could it be possible?
493
00:28:03,422 --> 00:28:04,936
I mean, could it be possible?
494
00:28:07,045 --> 00:28:10,529
- [Tom] My dear child, tonight
when I was brushing my teeth,
495
00:28:10,529 --> 00:28:13,064
I noticed some white patches on my tongue.
496
00:28:14,743 --> 00:28:17,956
Sweetheart, I hope it's nothing.
497
00:28:17,956 --> 00:28:19,408
But there's a possibility that this
498
00:28:19,408 --> 00:28:20,762
is an early sign of AIDS.
499
00:28:25,184 --> 00:28:27,556
The horror I feel and
a fear of leaving you
500
00:28:27,556 --> 00:28:30,632
before you ever really know
me is my greatest concern.
501
00:28:36,555 --> 00:28:38,597
- Back now, it's 7:17 with a question.
502
00:28:38,597 --> 00:28:41,189
Is the deadly disease,
AIDS, now a health threat
503
00:28:41,189 --> 00:28:42,681
to the general population?
504
00:28:42,681 --> 00:28:44,813
- [Man] The government today
tried to reassure people
505
00:28:44,813 --> 00:28:47,145
that there's no evidence
AIDS is breaking out
506
00:28:47,145 --> 00:28:48,667
into the general population.
507
00:28:48,667 --> 00:28:51,019
Assistant Secretary for
Health Edward Brandt.
508
00:28:51,019 --> 00:28:53,712
- What's important is that
there is no reason for panic
509
00:28:53,712 --> 00:28:55,744
among the general public.
510
00:28:55,744 --> 00:28:58,567
- I'll never forget reading
Life magazine when they said
511
00:28:58,567 --> 00:29:00,238
we should all pay attention to AIDS now
512
00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:02,311
because now this disease
is beginning to strike
513
00:29:02,311 --> 00:29:03,204
the rest of us.
514
00:29:04,273 --> 00:29:06,031
Then I go, "Am I not the one holding
515
00:29:06,031 --> 00:29:08,344
"this magazine in my hand?"
516
00:29:09,358 --> 00:29:12,541
But took three or four years
before the press picked it up,
517
00:29:12,541 --> 00:29:13,922
and only when it became clear
518
00:29:13,922 --> 00:29:16,425
that it might head to the
heterosexual population.
519
00:29:18,917 --> 00:29:21,308
- [Narrator] Gay men
continue to be hit hardest
520
00:29:21,308 --> 00:29:25,837
accounting for three out of
every four Americans with AIDS.
521
00:29:27,936 --> 00:29:31,544
In major cities, gay men
and their supporters marched
522
00:29:31,544 --> 00:29:35,016
to call attention to the
government's failure to respond.
523
00:29:37,596 --> 00:29:41,810
- Demand state and federal funding.
524
00:29:41,810 --> 00:29:42,805
Demand--
525
00:29:42,805 --> 00:29:44,474
- [Crowd] Thank you.
526
00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:49,718
- We must go through this together.
527
00:29:49,718 --> 00:29:54,262
Our greatest asset has been
the strength in our unity.
528
00:29:54,262 --> 00:29:58,960
This is a fight for all
of our lives, thank you.
529
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,242
- [Narrator] Most people
still thought AIDS
530
00:30:14,242 --> 00:30:16,267
was a disease only of gay men.
531
00:30:18,006 --> 00:30:22,591
But more and more heterosexual
men and women and children
532
00:30:22,591 --> 00:30:24,346
were turning up with the symptoms.
533
00:30:28,717 --> 00:30:31,159
AIDS would soon become the leading cause
534
00:30:31,159 --> 00:30:33,919
of death for hemophiliacs.
535
00:30:49,157 --> 00:30:52,851
- When he was I think seven,
we had a friend of the family
536
00:30:54,553 --> 00:30:57,277
who passed away from AIDS.
537
00:30:57,277 --> 00:31:01,282
This was a young man in his
mid 20s who had hemophilia.
538
00:31:03,702 --> 00:31:06,224
And the day that we got the word,
539
00:31:06,224 --> 00:31:09,280
got the news that day that
Steve had passed away,
540
00:31:10,489 --> 00:31:12,941
David and I did a lot of hugging that day,
541
00:31:12,941 --> 00:31:15,517
just wanting to touch each other a lot.
542
00:31:16,805 --> 00:31:18,917
But that night when I put him to bed
543
00:31:18,917 --> 00:31:21,920
and as I was tucking him in,
he looked up at me and he said,
544
00:31:23,798 --> 00:31:25,800
"I'm going to die of AIDS too, aren't I?
545
00:31:28,036 --> 00:31:30,499
And I have this sense
in the back of my mind
546
00:31:30,499 --> 00:31:33,234
that from then on, David
was getting ready to die.
547
00:31:36,975 --> 00:31:40,719
- Tom's worst fear and
nightmare was God forbid,
548
00:31:40,719 --> 00:31:44,402
in case he would have given
it or passed it on to us,
549
00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:45,817
meaning Jessica and myself.
550
00:31:47,516 --> 00:31:49,728
I went and got tested.
551
00:31:49,728 --> 00:31:51,089
There's something to that weight
552
00:31:51,089 --> 00:31:53,211
that really can drive you crazy.
553
00:31:53,211 --> 00:31:56,244
I mean makes you crazy
if you weren't before.
554
00:31:56,244 --> 00:31:58,847
And we get there, I remember
getting in the counselor,
555
00:31:58,847 --> 00:32:00,899
the person that tells you when we get in.
556
00:32:01,949 --> 00:32:03,495
He says, "Well, I'll get to the point.
557
00:32:03,495 --> 00:32:04,590
I go, "Please do."
558
00:32:05,872 --> 00:32:07,956
He says you're negative, absolutely.
559
00:32:07,956 --> 00:32:09,491
I said, "You sure?
560
00:32:09,491 --> 00:32:10,536
"Check the note."
561
00:32:10,536 --> 00:32:11,369
"You're negative."
562
00:32:11,369 --> 00:32:12,654
I just jumped for joy.
563
00:32:13,552 --> 00:32:16,114
I remember rushing home and telling Tom
564
00:32:16,114 --> 00:32:18,269
and he was so excited, thank God.
565
00:32:19,317 --> 00:32:21,906
The only thing it didn't
do is take away the fact
566
00:32:21,906 --> 00:32:23,905
that he still had AIDS.
567
00:32:26,665 --> 00:32:31,670
- I remember noticing
that there was a dark spot
568
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,524
on the back of my knee like
inside the hollow behind.
569
00:32:35,524 --> 00:32:39,828
And I noticed it, I think
most people did by accident.
570
00:32:39,828 --> 00:32:40,819
I just looked and there it was.
571
00:32:40,819 --> 00:32:44,022
And I couldn't lie to myself.
572
00:32:44,022 --> 00:32:46,094
I wasn't, because I was more sophisticated
573
00:32:46,094 --> 00:32:49,107
about this disease than I
think the average person
574
00:32:49,107 --> 00:32:51,319
and I knew immediately what I was seeing.
575
00:32:51,319 --> 00:32:55,103
And of course, you hope that it's not.
576
00:32:55,103 --> 00:32:56,895
I mean everybody does.
577
00:32:56,895 --> 00:32:58,907
But I immediately made an appointment
578
00:32:58,907 --> 00:33:00,542
to see my doctor in New York.
579
00:33:01,830 --> 00:33:04,493
The phone rang, and it
was my doctor in New York
580
00:33:04,493 --> 00:33:06,271
and he said, "I can't believe this,
581
00:33:06,271 --> 00:33:10,435
"But the biopsy came back
negative, it was a mole."
582
00:33:11,479 --> 00:33:14,501
And it was incredible,
I mean just incredible
583
00:33:14,501 --> 00:33:18,927
to hear this news, that
in fact it was not KS.
584
00:33:18,927 --> 00:33:21,903
And two days passed.
585
00:33:22,811 --> 00:33:24,916
And again the phone rang.
586
00:33:25,854 --> 00:33:28,563
At the AIDS Foundation,
was my doctor and he said,
587
00:33:28,563 --> 00:33:32,290
"I will never ever be able
to make this up to you."
588
00:33:32,290 --> 00:33:33,899
He said, "I don't know
how to tell you this,
589
00:33:33,899 --> 00:33:36,995
"but the labs switched your slide
590
00:33:38,131 --> 00:33:42,277
"with a slide of an
86-year-old heterosexual woman
591
00:33:42,277 --> 00:33:45,186
"who's gotten a KS diagnosis,
which is not possible.
592
00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:47,983
"So I'm sorry to tell you this,
593
00:33:47,983 --> 00:33:50,255
"but it turns out it's positive after all
594
00:33:50,255 --> 00:33:51,567
"and you do have KS."
595
00:33:52,450 --> 00:33:55,674
And at that point, I sort
of felt like, Susan Heywood
596
00:33:55,674 --> 00:33:58,717
and I wanna live, but the
governor giving her a pardon
597
00:33:58,717 --> 00:34:01,019
every five minutes and
then the phone ringing.
598
00:34:02,227 --> 00:34:04,833
It just drives you nuts.
599
00:34:04,833 --> 00:34:07,090
The stress was enormous,
600
00:34:07,090 --> 00:34:10,882
I was at the end of my emotional rope.
601
00:34:12,010 --> 00:34:14,112
And this was the final verdict,
602
00:34:14,112 --> 00:34:16,927
the final verdict was that I had AIDS.
603
00:34:16,927 --> 00:34:19,908
(crowd applauding)
604
00:34:19,908 --> 00:34:22,270
- Kills people, it petrifies me
605
00:34:22,270 --> 00:34:24,022
'cause girls be hanging out with him.
606
00:34:24,022 --> 00:34:25,403
And one night they could be in the club
607
00:34:25,403 --> 00:34:26,685
having fun with their gay friend
608
00:34:26,685 --> 00:34:28,483
and give him a little
kiss (mimics smooching)
609
00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:30,131
and go home with that AIDS on their lips.
610
00:34:31,169 --> 00:34:32,560
- [Woman] This tape concert aired
611
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,282
on Cable Systems last month.
612
00:34:34,282 --> 00:34:36,825
Predictably, it did not
receive rave reviews
613
00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:38,386
from the gay community.
614
00:34:38,386 --> 00:34:39,998
In protest this record store
615
00:34:39,998 --> 00:34:41,710
in San Francisco's Castro district
616
00:34:41,710 --> 00:34:44,552
will no longer stock Eddie
Murphy tapes and records.
617
00:34:44,552 --> 00:34:49,307
Murphy's manager says he's
not anti-gay but anti-AIDS.
618
00:34:49,307 --> 00:34:51,880
- The Gay plague as AIDS has been called
619
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,962
is the center of a political storm.
620
00:34:53,962 --> 00:34:56,975
The moral majority claiming
AIDS is God's punishment
621
00:34:56,975 --> 00:34:58,496
for the gay lifestyle.
622
00:34:58,496 --> 00:35:00,599
- All this media attention and sympathy
623
00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:02,994
for these AIDS victims
just really bothers me.
624
00:35:03,892 --> 00:35:05,854
Let's call a spade a spade.
625
00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:08,617
AIDS is a venereal disease
and the vast majority
626
00:35:08,617 --> 00:35:11,399
of its victims are a
group of abnormal people
627
00:35:11,399 --> 00:35:14,462
with a very strange and unusual lifestyle.
628
00:35:14,462 --> 00:35:17,000
- [Woman] Cleve Jones and
Mark Astfeld are homosexual,
629
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,308
both victims of an increase
in anti-gay violence
630
00:35:20,308 --> 00:35:23,792
that many contend is being
fueled by fear of AIDS.
631
00:35:23,792 --> 00:35:25,724
That's what happened to Charles Howard,
632
00:35:25,724 --> 00:35:28,616
a 23-year-old homosexual
from Bangor, Maine.
633
00:35:28,616 --> 00:35:31,592
He was attacked, pushed
over a bridge and drowned.
634
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:34,362
- [Man] Parents are afraid three brothers,
635
00:35:34,362 --> 00:35:37,826
Ricky, Robert and Randy
Ray, all hemophiliacs
636
00:35:37,826 --> 00:35:41,109
would spread the AIDS virus
they got from blood products.
637
00:35:41,109 --> 00:35:43,611
The Rays left Arcadia
after their home burned
638
00:35:43,611 --> 00:35:45,854
in a suspicious fire, but the year old--
639
00:35:45,854 --> 00:35:47,996
- Seeing what happened to the Ray family,
640
00:35:47,996 --> 00:35:51,422
it just voiced you know, can
this happen to us, daddy?
641
00:35:52,831 --> 00:35:54,683
I told him, I says, I don't know,
642
00:35:54,683 --> 00:35:56,224
I can't answer that honestly,
643
00:35:56,224 --> 00:35:57,949
I can't give you an honest answer.
644
00:35:58,887 --> 00:36:03,421
He was asked by a reporter one
time how he felt about AIDS.
645
00:36:03,421 --> 00:36:04,853
- We have the right to do everything
646
00:36:04,853 --> 00:36:06,798
that everyone else does.
647
00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:08,997
We have the right to do, we
have the right to run around
648
00:36:08,997 --> 00:36:13,221
and play, we have the right
to go inside some place
649
00:36:13,221 --> 00:36:17,966
without having to feel ashamed
650
00:36:17,966 --> 00:36:21,559
that "Oh, I have AIDS, oh,
I might give it to someone
651
00:36:21,559 --> 00:36:23,792
'cause that's what I felt for a while
652
00:36:23,792 --> 00:36:26,014
before I really realized anything.
653
00:36:26,014 --> 00:36:29,218
I felt oh god, what if I
did give it to someone?
654
00:36:29,218 --> 00:36:31,189
What could happen?
655
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:33,601
And also it started to scare me.
656
00:36:33,601 --> 00:36:36,094
- David and I talked
about letting people know
657
00:36:36,094 --> 00:36:37,588
whether he had AIDS or not.
658
00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:41,980
I read an article that there was a lotion
659
00:36:41,980 --> 00:36:45,573
being sold in Arcadia, strawberry scented
660
00:36:45,573 --> 00:36:47,555
and you could rub it
on your children's skin
661
00:36:47,555 --> 00:36:49,788
and it would protect you from AIDS
662
00:36:49,788 --> 00:36:52,140
and the people were buying it.
663
00:36:52,140 --> 00:36:55,480
And all of a sudden, I
just couldn't trust anybody
664
00:36:55,480 --> 00:37:00,188
to behave responsibly, to
make the effort of finding out
665
00:37:00,188 --> 00:37:01,629
what AIDS was all about.
666
00:37:01,629 --> 00:37:02,991
- We didn't come from a different planet,
667
00:37:02,991 --> 00:37:06,004
we're still the same human
beings that they are.
668
00:37:06,004 --> 00:37:07,759
We just have a little different,
669
00:37:08,808 --> 00:37:10,488
a little difference in ourselves.
670
00:37:10,488 --> 00:37:11,970
And I don't see why anyone should
671
00:37:11,970 --> 00:37:14,555
put some person down for that.
672
00:37:15,683 --> 00:37:18,526
- The word just spread so fast.
673
00:37:18,526 --> 00:37:21,372
I remember I called
everyone up on Los Angeles.
674
00:37:21,372 --> 00:37:25,293
I said I wanna meet everyone
at my sister's house
675
00:37:25,293 --> 00:37:27,796
and I will have something
I have to sell everyone.
676
00:37:29,027 --> 00:37:32,283
I told them that Tom had AIDS.
677
00:37:34,222 --> 00:37:37,065
And their first thing
is don't go near him,
678
00:37:37,065 --> 00:37:39,077
don't let Jessica near him.
679
00:37:39,077 --> 00:37:41,369
It's like you catch it in a tear,
680
00:37:41,369 --> 00:37:44,222
it's just the education of what they knew.
681
00:37:44,222 --> 00:37:46,474
I didn't know all that much more.
682
00:37:46,474 --> 00:37:48,196
And of course being in Los Angeles,
683
00:37:48,196 --> 00:37:51,579
they're reading about Rock
Hudson and everyone else
684
00:37:51,579 --> 00:37:54,662
and now it's struck the
family, it was very sad.
685
00:37:54,662 --> 00:37:56,704
And what I told them is
that I wanted to respect,
686
00:37:56,704 --> 00:37:59,557
I wanted Tom treated
just like anyone else,
687
00:37:59,557 --> 00:38:02,010
this is the situation, he's gonna be dying
688
00:38:02,010 --> 00:38:04,459
and I wanna make sure people are there.
689
00:38:04,459 --> 00:38:07,976
And the biggest thing is
that whatever the services
690
00:38:07,976 --> 00:38:09,777
at the time we had
discussed, it was enough.
691
00:38:09,777 --> 00:38:11,469
Last time all we discussed was services
692
00:38:11,469 --> 00:38:12,931
but if there was a funeral,
693
00:38:12,931 --> 00:38:15,333
I expected every single
one of them to be there.
694
00:38:16,234 --> 00:38:19,637
And if I didn't get that love and support
695
00:38:19,637 --> 00:38:23,241
and I'm very close with my
family, and I truly meant it,
696
00:38:23,241 --> 00:38:25,623
if there was one person that backed off,
697
00:38:25,623 --> 00:38:28,179
that they'll never see
myself or Jessica again.
698
00:38:30,469 --> 00:38:33,055
(somber music)
699
00:39:37,191 --> 00:39:38,821
- [Announcer] Each of us
must take the responsibility
700
00:39:38,821 --> 00:39:41,639
for keeping AIDS out of our lives.
701
00:39:41,639 --> 00:39:43,301
- [Man] Last month the
federal government began
702
00:39:43,301 --> 00:39:45,803
a formal AIDS education campaign,
703
00:39:45,803 --> 00:39:46,905
with the release of these
704
00:39:46,905 --> 00:39:49,387
and other public service announcements.
705
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:52,220
The US was one of the last
developed nations in the world
706
00:39:52,220 --> 00:39:54,562
to undertake an AIDS education campaign.
707
00:39:54,562 --> 00:39:57,355
And critics say the ads
still do not contain
708
00:39:57,355 --> 00:39:58,920
enough specific information.
709
00:40:00,358 --> 00:40:02,780
The critics point out that
the President did not mention
710
00:40:02,780 --> 00:40:05,693
the word AIDS in public
until he was asked about it
711
00:40:05,693 --> 00:40:08,116
in September 1985.
712
00:40:08,116 --> 00:40:10,318
Bauer says it was not
necessary for the President
713
00:40:10,318 --> 00:40:11,953
to talk about AIDS before then.
714
00:40:12,839 --> 00:40:15,022
- When it became clear
that the disease was going
715
00:40:15,022 --> 00:40:17,535
to be a much more major
challenge than anyone thought,
716
00:40:17,535 --> 00:40:19,797
the President then I think
appropriately decided
717
00:40:19,797 --> 00:40:21,689
to speak out and he's done that repeatedly
718
00:40:21,689 --> 00:40:25,123
and will do so again
in the next 14 months.
719
00:40:25,123 --> 00:40:28,046
- [Woman] Mr. Reagan said
prevention is better than a cure.
720
00:40:28,046 --> 00:40:30,648
He sided with his Education
Secretary, William Bennett
721
00:40:30,648 --> 00:40:32,981
and other conservatives
who say that the government
722
00:40:32,981 --> 00:40:35,346
should not provide sex
education to children.
723
00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:38,723
The Surgeon General disagrees strongly.
724
00:40:38,723 --> 00:40:41,336
- We can no longer afford to sidestep
725
00:40:41,336 --> 00:40:45,703
frank open discussions
about sexual practices;
726
00:40:45,703 --> 00:40:47,755
heterosexual and homosexual.
727
00:40:47,755 --> 00:40:50,458
- I don't quarrel with that,
but I think that abstinence
728
00:40:50,458 --> 00:40:52,991
has been lacking in much of the education.
729
00:40:52,991 --> 00:40:54,632
- [Woman] That angers some critics.
730
00:40:54,632 --> 00:40:57,195
- Until the Reagan administration realizes
731
00:40:57,195 --> 00:41:00,198
that the government's
responsibility is saving lives
732
00:41:00,198 --> 00:41:03,541
and not saving souls, we will
continue to see the virus
733
00:41:03,541 --> 00:41:04,966
spread through our society.
734
00:41:11,268 --> 00:41:13,601
- [Narrator] In the seventh
year, the national debate
735
00:41:13,601 --> 00:41:16,837
over how to confront the
epidemic had finally begun.
736
00:41:19,641 --> 00:41:21,589
But for those who already had the virus,
737
00:41:21,589 --> 00:41:25,153
the years of denial, neglect
738
00:41:25,153 --> 00:41:26,604
continued to take their toll.
739
00:41:28,965 --> 00:41:31,551
(somber music)
740
00:41:42,660 --> 00:41:45,093
- He didn't wanna be in the hospital,
741
00:41:45,093 --> 00:41:46,397
he wanted to die at home.
742
00:41:48,316 --> 00:41:50,233
And if that's what his wish is,
743
00:41:50,233 --> 00:41:51,602
that's what we accommodated.
744
00:41:53,971 --> 00:41:56,414
There was nothing now to do except set up.
745
00:41:56,414 --> 00:41:57,815
At least we know that he's gonna die,
746
00:41:57,815 --> 00:41:58,939
so now what do we do?
747
00:42:00,028 --> 00:42:02,300
To make the most of our daughter.
748
00:42:02,300 --> 00:42:04,552
He saw Jessica every
day, it was unlimited,
749
00:42:04,552 --> 00:42:06,147
it was just a delight for him.
750
00:42:08,196 --> 00:42:10,148
He just couldn't get enough of Jessica.
751
00:42:12,630 --> 00:42:13,464
It's heart.
752
00:42:14,502 --> 00:42:17,318
So sweet.
753
00:42:21,579 --> 00:42:24,852
- Rob started getting
ill, I guess two years,
754
00:42:24,852 --> 00:42:26,517
18 months before he died.
755
00:42:27,805 --> 00:42:32,060
People from Narcotics
Anonymous would call him,
756
00:42:32,060 --> 00:42:35,833
people he had sponsored,
people he'd become friends with
757
00:42:35,833 --> 00:42:38,806
who were struggling to get off drugs.
758
00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:41,259
And during a time when he could no longer
759
00:42:41,259 --> 00:42:45,103
go to the meetings, he'd lay
in the bed and get phone calls
760
00:42:45,103 --> 00:42:47,925
and he'd be on the phone
for hours and yeah man,
761
00:42:47,925 --> 00:42:50,511
I know how that is, but if
you do this, it'll work.
762
00:42:51,559 --> 00:42:54,011
And he'd be encouraging 'em from his bed
763
00:42:54,011 --> 00:42:58,246
but you could tell as soon
as he hung up the phone,
764
00:42:58,246 --> 00:42:59,497
he had no energy anymore.
765
00:42:59,497 --> 00:43:01,008
And it would make me mad.
766
00:43:01,008 --> 00:43:02,620
I'd get so angry with him.
767
00:43:02,620 --> 00:43:06,134
How could he take all this
time with these people
768
00:43:06,134 --> 00:43:10,628
in this struggle, and I
got selfish about his time.
769
00:43:10,628 --> 00:43:12,710
- We went in different directions in terms
770
00:43:12,710 --> 00:43:16,003
of dealing with our illness,
and I think that each direction
771
00:43:16,003 --> 00:43:21,008
was exactly in tune with our
individual personalities.
772
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,262
I immediately got angry
773
00:43:25,213 --> 00:43:30,158
and began to learn everything
I could about the disease.
774
00:43:30,158 --> 00:43:33,124
Jeffrey, on the other hand
did what Jeffrey always did.
775
00:43:33,971 --> 00:43:37,270
His personality was to
retreat into his own world
776
00:43:37,270 --> 00:43:41,999
and to try things that offered easy hope.
777
00:43:41,999 --> 00:43:44,782
He got into a lot of mystical things,
778
00:43:44,782 --> 00:43:47,455
he stopped taking his medicine
779
00:43:48,786 --> 00:43:51,529
and started like having the
color blue around the house.
780
00:43:51,529 --> 00:43:55,042
The color blue is the healing
color, figure that out, right?
781
00:43:55,042 --> 00:43:57,305
But he believed, you know, and I thought,
782
00:43:57,305 --> 00:44:01,679
all right, maybe his belief
system will carry him through.
783
00:44:01,679 --> 00:44:04,762
I had eternal hope but at the same time,
784
00:44:04,762 --> 00:44:08,406
I was aware on some level that
I was losing him completely.
785
00:44:08,406 --> 00:44:10,047
And he was just in another world.
786
00:44:10,047 --> 00:44:11,809
I would come home and he
would be lying on the sofa
787
00:44:11,809 --> 00:44:13,411
staring at the ceiling in a dark room.
788
00:44:13,411 --> 00:44:16,744
And that became the end of
his life in a lot of ways.
789
00:44:16,744 --> 00:44:18,078
He just checked out.
790
00:44:20,893 --> 00:44:24,902
- He had wasted, I mean
the last time I took him
791
00:44:24,902 --> 00:44:28,466
to the hospital, literally I
could pick him up in my arms
792
00:44:28,466 --> 00:44:29,300
and carry him.
793
00:44:32,009 --> 00:44:34,412
And when we went to the
hospital, he said to me,
794
00:44:36,305 --> 00:44:37,842
"I can't make atonement
795
00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:40,554
"for everything I've put you through."
796
00:44:40,554 --> 00:44:41,609
I said, "Atone?"
797
00:44:41,609 --> 00:44:44,342
I said, "Atone to God, you
don't atone to your wife."
798
00:44:44,342 --> 00:44:46,374
You make atonement to your Creator,
799
00:44:46,374 --> 00:44:48,279
the person who created you, not me.
800
00:44:50,818 --> 00:44:53,478
That's when I realized
how close it was for him.
801
00:44:55,848 --> 00:44:58,150
He said from this point
on it's gonna be fast.
802
00:44:59,355 --> 00:45:00,188
He said I don't want to die at home
803
00:45:00,188 --> 00:45:01,859
because you and Mackenzie is there.
804
00:45:03,401 --> 00:45:04,802
He just totally gave up
805
00:45:04,802 --> 00:45:08,623
and the spirit of the person
that was there had changed.
806
00:45:13,531 --> 00:45:14,922
The last time I saw Rob I wanted to sit
807
00:45:14,922 --> 00:45:17,905
by the door of his room,
but I had told the nurse
808
00:45:17,905 --> 00:45:19,777
how badly I was feeling.
809
00:45:19,777 --> 00:45:21,879
So she took my temperature and it was 105.
810
00:45:23,571 --> 00:45:25,683
And I said, "Well, I
can't even go see Rob?"
811
00:45:25,683 --> 00:45:28,856
She said, "No, I think you
should stay away since."
812
00:45:28,856 --> 00:45:31,306
So I just went to the
door and I looked around.
813
00:45:33,521 --> 00:45:34,355
And he never turned around.
814
00:45:34,355 --> 00:45:37,628
He just was laying there
like in a fetal position.
815
00:45:39,036 --> 00:45:41,916
And that's the last time I saw him.
816
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:45,463
I remember standing at
the door for a few minutes
817
00:45:45,463 --> 00:45:49,517
and just looking at him,
wanting to go in real bad
818
00:45:50,465 --> 00:45:52,617
and society know it be
best I didn't go in.
819
00:45:54,310 --> 00:45:56,420
And the next morning,
my sister-in-law came
820
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:58,956
and they had called
her that he had passed.
821
00:45:58,956 --> 00:46:00,508
So I didn't get to say goodbye.
822
00:46:01,819 --> 00:46:04,902
Just got to sit and look at him from afar.
823
00:46:09,827 --> 00:46:13,581
- When I was diagnosed
a year ago with AIDS,
824
00:46:13,581 --> 00:46:16,687
I didn't shed a single tear.
825
00:46:17,715 --> 00:46:19,577
And of course most people I think
826
00:46:19,577 --> 00:46:21,028
when they're first diagnosed,
827
00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:22,970
it just really blows me away.
828
00:46:22,970 --> 00:46:26,994
Well, all of my tears
have been shed the year
829
00:46:26,994 --> 00:46:31,181
after David died recognizing
that I was probably doomed.
830
00:46:34,812 --> 00:46:37,044
So when the other shoe finally fell,
831
00:46:37,044 --> 00:46:42,029
it was just comforting I guess,
more than anything to know
832
00:46:45,773 --> 00:46:46,724
where I was headed.
833
00:46:49,922 --> 00:46:51,419
I am to be buried next to David
834
00:46:51,419 --> 00:46:54,064
in Rock creek Cemetery,
835
00:46:55,262 --> 00:46:58,085
the oldest cemetery in Washington
836
00:46:58,085 --> 00:46:59,537
and in a very beautiful spot.
837
00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:04,571
(somber music)
838
00:47:12,779 --> 00:47:13,741
- [Suzi] We were told that
he would either be with us
839
00:47:13,741 --> 00:47:15,142
at Christmas or he wouldn't.
840
00:47:17,405 --> 00:47:21,078
I wanted David to hold on to
the magic of his childhood.
841
00:47:21,078 --> 00:47:23,555
That was his right, that's
the right of every child
842
00:47:23,555 --> 00:47:25,926
to hold on as long as they can.
843
00:47:34,142 --> 00:47:34,976
- How you doin'?
844
00:47:34,976 --> 00:47:35,810
- Fine.
845
00:47:35,810 --> 00:47:37,925
- Good, you know me, don't you?
846
00:47:37,925 --> 00:47:38,759
- Yeah.
847
00:47:38,759 --> 00:47:40,468
- [Suzi] I knew one of the
greatest things would be
848
00:47:40,468 --> 00:47:41,989
if he could visit Alf.
849
00:47:41,989 --> 00:47:44,057
David could relate to Alf.
850
00:47:44,057 --> 00:47:45,132
- Who do I send the bill to?
851
00:47:45,132 --> 00:47:47,735
- [Suzi] He had the soul of a con man,
852
00:47:47,735 --> 00:47:49,507
and I think David related to him
853
00:47:49,507 --> 00:47:52,239
because not only for his con artistry,
854
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:53,794
but because Alf was different.
855
00:47:54,702 --> 00:47:57,655
I think David always had
a sense of his difference
856
00:47:57,655 --> 00:47:59,086
from the rest of the world.
857
00:47:59,086 --> 00:48:00,818
- David, it was great talking to you.
858
00:48:00,818 --> 00:48:02,897
- Okay, I think you're great, Alf.
859
00:48:02,897 --> 00:48:04,902
- Oh, I think you're great too.
860
00:48:04,902 --> 00:48:07,199
And I'm glad we had a chance to talk.
861
00:48:07,199 --> 00:48:08,534
- So am I.
- Huh?
862
00:48:10,053 --> 00:48:11,350
So am I.
863
00:48:11,350 --> 00:48:12,184
- And I want you to listen to me.
864
00:48:12,184 --> 00:48:13,581
I'm gonna tell you something.
865
00:48:13,581 --> 00:48:17,387
I want you to think positive
thoughts, all right?
866
00:48:18,616 --> 00:48:19,450
- [David] I will.
867
00:48:19,450 --> 00:48:22,078
- You will, you do that for me.
868
00:48:22,078 --> 00:48:25,331
You be good and think
nothing but good things.
869
00:48:25,331 --> 00:48:26,165
- [David] Okay.
870
00:48:26,165 --> 00:48:26,999
- Okay?
871
00:48:26,999 --> 00:48:28,390
- Have a merry Christmas, Alf.
872
00:48:28,390 --> 00:48:30,307
- You too, David, have
a very merry Christmas.
873
00:48:30,307 --> 00:48:32,844
- Okay.
- Bless you, bye bye.
874
00:48:32,844 --> 00:48:33,678
Bye bye.
875
00:48:34,642 --> 00:48:39,647
- His last Christmas, we
tried to make it as best one
876
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,553
as we possibly could.
877
00:48:41,553 --> 00:48:45,883
Him and I went out and
it was the first year
878
00:48:45,883 --> 00:48:47,585
that I got a Christmas tree early.
879
00:48:53,390 --> 00:48:55,062
I guess he basically knew
880
00:48:55,062 --> 00:48:57,164
that this was gonna be his last Christmas.
881
00:48:58,518 --> 00:49:01,218
And he tried to make it as good for us
882
00:49:01,218 --> 00:49:02,993
as we tried to make it for him.
883
00:49:06,762 --> 00:49:07,596
- I'll never forget this,
884
00:49:07,596 --> 00:49:12,601
I was on the plane from
Melbourne to Honolulu.
885
00:49:12,750 --> 00:49:15,533
And it's a long flight,
it's 12 hours or something
886
00:49:15,533 --> 00:49:17,174
and I was sleeping.
887
00:49:17,174 --> 00:49:19,810
The entire cabin was quiet, it was dark.
888
00:49:21,956 --> 00:49:26,213
And I woke up the way
you sometimes wake up
889
00:49:26,213 --> 00:49:29,086
from a dream but really startled.
890
00:49:29,086 --> 00:49:34,091
It was the middle of the
night and I heard a voice.
891
00:49:34,161 --> 00:49:35,693
Now I don't know whether I dreamed it
892
00:49:35,693 --> 00:49:38,175
or whether I really
heard this voice or what,
893
00:49:38,175 --> 00:49:42,520
but I heard, Jeffrey always
called me V, not Vito.
894
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,268
And I heard, "V!"
895
00:49:45,633 --> 00:49:49,092
And I woke up in the cabin, and I remember
896
00:49:49,092 --> 00:49:50,597
I was just like sort of sweating.
897
00:49:50,597 --> 00:49:53,480
The stewardess came and she says,
898
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:54,314
"Is there something I can do for you?"
899
00:49:54,314 --> 00:49:56,724
And I said, "No, I'm all right,"
and I went back to sleep.
900
00:49:56,724 --> 00:49:58,846
And I got to Honolulu in the morning
901
00:49:58,846 --> 00:50:03,260
and Joe Brewer and I went out
to lunch at Hamburger Mary's.
902
00:50:03,260 --> 00:50:05,375
And I went home, take a nap.
903
00:50:06,443 --> 00:50:10,167
And Joe came into the hotel
room about two hours later
904
00:50:10,167 --> 00:50:12,009
and he woke me up.
905
00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:15,983
And he said, I got a
call from San Francisco
906
00:50:17,134 --> 00:50:21,890
and I have to tell you
that Jeffrey got very sick
907
00:50:21,890 --> 00:50:25,125
and was taken to San
Francisco General Hospital.
908
00:50:26,153 --> 00:50:27,608
And this morning, he died.
909
00:50:30,678 --> 00:50:33,053
I went directly to San Francisco General.
910
00:50:33,971 --> 00:50:37,955
I needed to see him to prove
to myself that he was gone.
911
00:50:37,955 --> 00:50:40,204
And he was there and
they took this drawer out
912
00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:41,719
and he was covered with a sheet
913
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:43,293
but only his face was showing.
914
00:50:45,693 --> 00:50:49,627
To me it was of course it was
still Jeff, but it wasn't.
915
00:50:49,627 --> 00:50:50,940
No way was Jeff.
916
00:50:50,940 --> 00:50:53,661
I mean he had that little bump on his nose
917
00:50:54,702 --> 00:50:56,864
that'd tell me was Jeff.
918
00:50:56,864 --> 00:50:58,696
And I remember I combed his hair
919
00:51:00,347 --> 00:51:01,799
'cause he was always doing that.
920
00:51:01,799 --> 00:51:05,656
He used to pull back his hair.
921
00:51:06,832 --> 00:51:08,606
And I took a comb out of my
pocket and I combed his hair
922
00:51:08,606 --> 00:51:10,557
and I talked to him for a little while.
923
00:51:17,759 --> 00:51:20,127
- Watching the heart monitor cease, stop,
924
00:51:20,127 --> 00:51:24,228
the numbers kept coming down,
lower and lower and lower,
925
00:51:25,221 --> 00:51:28,673
and then finally the nurse
saying he's gone now.
926
00:51:32,063 --> 00:51:35,129
But I watched his chest
inflate twice more.
927
00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:39,930
Almost as if,
928
00:51:41,388 --> 00:51:43,393
wanting to get one one lung full of air.
929
00:51:46,393 --> 00:51:48,846
And I was there and I watched his face
930
00:51:48,846 --> 00:51:52,332
and I kept looking for a handle,
931
00:51:53,270 --> 00:51:57,798
looking for something to
grab to keep him from going.
932
00:52:01,198 --> 00:52:02,392
There was no handle.
933
00:52:04,682 --> 00:52:07,725
- I just remember the last
things he said to her,
934
00:52:07,725 --> 00:52:10,257
said he died or went into a coma actually,
935
00:52:10,257 --> 00:52:11,812
started going in and out.
936
00:52:13,250 --> 00:52:16,536
He had this big crystal
ball on a pedestal.
937
00:52:18,986 --> 00:52:21,401
He says I have this wizard's ball.
938
00:52:22,489 --> 00:52:24,855
And I found it here, a wizard left it.
939
00:52:27,689 --> 00:52:29,390
And I want this to be very special
940
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:31,438
and that'll always bring
you good luck and fortune.
941
00:52:35,502 --> 00:52:37,617
And always know that
daddy will always be there
942
00:52:37,617 --> 00:52:39,787
and he'll always love you.
943
00:52:43,801 --> 00:52:46,233
She took that, it was hard for her
944
00:52:46,233 --> 00:52:49,096
because she's got her Legos
and goes back to the Legos.
945
00:52:49,096 --> 00:52:51,892
Instead here I am
crying, taking it all in.
946
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:57,277
Here she is not understanding
why he's leaving, you know?
947
00:52:58,232 --> 00:53:01,388
"Okay, I heard that you're
leaving, thank you."
948
00:53:01,388 --> 00:53:03,250
She was so sweet.
949
00:53:03,250 --> 00:53:06,246
And I see him, he was in
so much pain at that time.
950
00:53:07,406 --> 00:53:10,109
He's just trying, you see
the tears just rolling down.
951
00:53:12,129 --> 00:53:14,181
That was his last time of seeing Jessica.
952
00:53:16,582 --> 00:53:18,358
And that was it,
953
00:53:19,673 --> 00:53:21,021
and he passed away.
954
00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:34,651
- He and I talked about when we first met
955
00:53:34,651 --> 00:53:36,954
that we would be soul mates.
956
00:53:36,954 --> 00:53:39,356
It's like we would always have that vibe
957
00:53:40,447 --> 00:53:42,402
that would connect our souls.
958
00:53:43,778 --> 00:53:45,112
I think we will.
959
00:54:08,539 --> 00:54:11,378
- People had heard of the
Names Project and asked me
960
00:54:11,378 --> 00:54:13,730
are you making a panel for David?
961
00:54:13,730 --> 00:54:14,912
They said why don't you come down
962
00:54:14,912 --> 00:54:16,777
to the Lesbian and Gay Men Center?
963
00:54:17,885 --> 00:54:18,969
Which I gulped.
964
00:54:20,137 --> 00:54:22,039
I said, "I'll have to ask my husband."
965
00:54:23,170 --> 00:54:26,060
We had not ventured very
far out of our little
966
00:54:26,060 --> 00:54:30,370
Middle America home into
that area of the city.
967
00:54:31,949 --> 00:54:33,150
But we said, "Let's go."
968
00:54:34,001 --> 00:54:37,084
And we went down there,
and we found the room
969
00:54:37,084 --> 00:54:39,386
where they were working and met the man
970
00:54:39,386 --> 00:54:41,038
that I had spoke to on the phone.
971
00:54:42,159 --> 00:54:44,721
And I don't know, it seemed
like five minutes later,
972
00:54:44,721 --> 00:54:47,364
David was very, very busy
with helping them out
973
00:54:47,364 --> 00:54:49,267
with the mailing and I was very busy
974
00:54:49,267 --> 00:54:52,662
stitching letters onto a person's panel.
975
00:54:53,670 --> 00:54:55,392
I was thinking of all the different things
976
00:54:55,392 --> 00:54:58,215
I wanted to put on David's panel,
977
00:54:58,215 --> 00:55:01,048
satins and bright colors
and things that flew,
978
00:55:01,048 --> 00:55:02,309
just of all the possibilities,
979
00:55:02,309 --> 00:55:05,415
everything that would say
to somebody this was David.
980
00:55:06,944 --> 00:55:10,247
And suddenly, for the first
time since my son's death,
981
00:55:10,247 --> 00:55:12,883
it was okay to laugh, really laugh.
982
00:55:14,731 --> 00:55:17,317
(somber music)
983
00:55:28,619 --> 00:55:31,372
(woman laughing)
984
00:55:39,460 --> 00:55:42,964
(sewing machine whirring)
985
00:55:49,311 --> 00:55:53,560
- [Narrator] In 1987, in a
storefront in San Francisco,
986
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:57,294
friends, families and lovers
987
00:55:57,294 --> 00:55:59,229
began to piece together a quilt.
988
00:56:00,377 --> 00:56:03,170
They would soon be joined
by tens of thousands
989
00:56:03,170 --> 00:56:05,125
of people from across the country,
990
00:56:06,053 --> 00:56:08,748
remembering loved ones lost to AIDS.
991
00:56:47,604 --> 00:56:50,147
- I'm very proud that
he has so many panels
992
00:56:50,147 --> 00:56:52,562
because that means that
his message cut across.
993
00:56:53,580 --> 00:56:56,123
The happiest thing that
I feel and I know Jessica
994
00:56:56,123 --> 00:57:00,067
will feel as we get older is
I think that we're just proud
995
00:57:00,067 --> 00:57:04,674
to have so many people love
the same man that we love.
996
00:57:06,643 --> 00:57:09,236
After he died, I played
some tapes that he had.
997
00:57:09,236 --> 00:57:11,628
I was listening to this one
tape and he's talking to Jessica
998
00:57:11,628 --> 00:57:13,240
about mama, and I love mama
999
00:57:13,240 --> 00:57:14,661
and you've got a wonderful mama.
1000
00:57:14,661 --> 00:57:17,634
But I gotta tell you, this one's for mama.
1001
00:57:17,634 --> 00:57:20,467
Remember all those times
we played racquetball?
1002
00:57:20,467 --> 00:57:22,036
I let you win (laughs).
1003
00:57:23,803 --> 00:57:27,584
And I just, I was crying, Judy was crying
1004
00:57:27,584 --> 00:57:28,765
and I heard that,
1005
00:57:28,765 --> 00:57:33,600
let me win, how dare you
say that you let me win?
1006
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:37,504
even to his dying days, it's
like that competitive edge,
1007
00:57:37,504 --> 00:57:39,003
he knew he still wanted me to remember
1008
00:57:39,003 --> 00:57:40,230
and to have something.
1009
00:57:45,442 --> 00:57:47,544
- Well, I entertained making
a quilt for a long time
1010
00:57:47,544 --> 00:57:49,846
when I first heard about the
quilt, I thought about it.
1011
00:57:49,846 --> 00:57:53,560
I thought it would help
to be a healing for us.
1012
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,093
There was so much hurt and pain and guilt
1013
00:57:56,093 --> 00:58:01,098
and desperation left when you
lost somebody to this disease.
1014
00:58:01,318 --> 00:58:03,720
How there was something
to kind of relieve that.
1015
00:58:05,140 --> 00:58:08,328
- I know (laughs).
1016
00:58:08,328 --> 00:58:09,426
I didn't know, Alfred was theatrical.
1017
00:58:09,426 --> 00:58:10,590
- But Robert would.
1018
00:58:11,851 --> 00:58:14,334
I had spoken to my mother,
that she said to me,
1019
00:58:14,334 --> 00:58:15,472
are you going to get tested?
1020
00:58:15,472 --> 00:58:17,371
She said, "Well, if you're positive,
1021
00:58:17,371 --> 00:58:18,572
"I don't wanna know it."
1022
00:58:19,527 --> 00:58:20,361
Yeah, that's nice.
1023
00:58:20,361 --> 00:58:21,931
And I said, "Okay Mom, I won't tell you.
1024
00:58:24,431 --> 00:58:26,640
Six months later, my mother
came to me and she said,
1025
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:28,165
"Did you ever take that AIDS test?"
1026
00:58:28,165 --> 00:58:29,363
And I said, "Yeah."
1027
00:58:29,363 --> 00:58:30,704
"Well, what was the answer?
1028
00:58:30,704 --> 00:58:31,978
"What happened?"
1029
00:58:31,978 --> 00:58:34,798
And I said to her, "You
told me not to tell you."
1030
00:58:36,683 --> 00:58:39,716
She said, "Yeah, but I
gotta know, I wanna know."
1031
00:58:39,716 --> 00:58:41,288
I said, "Mommy, I'm positive."
1032
00:58:41,288 --> 00:58:43,717
She says, "Oh no."
1033
00:58:44,761 --> 00:58:48,775
She just, you could sense the loss in her.
1034
00:58:48,775 --> 00:58:50,477
She said, "I don't know how
I'm gonna deal with this."
1035
00:58:50,477 --> 00:58:55,482
She said, "This is going to
kill me, I can't take it."
1036
00:58:56,843 --> 00:58:59,576
I said if it's the Lord's
will that I don't make it
1037
00:58:59,576 --> 00:59:04,121
and I get sick and anything
happens, that's his will.
1038
00:59:04,121 --> 00:59:06,626
You can't protect me from
whatever his will is.
1039
00:59:08,369 --> 00:59:10,700
And she came through a
lot stronger behind that.
1040
00:59:14,030 --> 00:59:16,396
I've been positive for
two and a half years.
1041
00:59:17,274 --> 00:59:21,448
And I'm well, and every day I'm prayerful,
1042
00:59:21,448 --> 00:59:23,433
and thankful that I am.
1043
00:59:25,572 --> 00:59:29,256
In my mind, I've decided
I'm not gonna get sick.
1044
00:59:29,256 --> 00:59:32,585
I don't have to get sick
and I'm not gonna let
1045
00:59:32,585 --> 00:59:34,884
worrying about it make me sick.
1046
00:59:36,253 --> 00:59:37,574
And that's how I've been coping.
1047
00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:40,787
Now whether it works
or not, time will tell.
1048
00:59:40,787 --> 00:59:41,811
But I feel great.
1049
00:59:50,537 --> 00:59:52,469
- In the 48 years that I've been around,
1050
00:59:52,469 --> 00:59:57,474
I've done more than many,
many people do in a full 80
1051
00:59:57,854 --> 01:00:00,947
or 85 years on this earth.
1052
01:00:00,947 --> 01:00:04,831
I've raised a family, had
a successful naval career,
1053
01:00:04,831 --> 01:00:06,776
been around the world many times.
1054
01:00:08,161 --> 01:00:12,249
Loved and have
1055
01:00:12,249 --> 01:00:15,562
really no regrets, not that
I wouldn't like to be around
1056
01:00:15,562 --> 01:00:19,434
another 20 or 25 but I
can't think of many things
1057
01:00:19,434 --> 01:00:22,041
that I've left undone.
1058
01:00:26,002 --> 01:00:29,569
The panel that I've made has my name on it
1059
01:00:29,569 --> 01:00:33,730
with my rank at retirement,
Commander T.E. Torrey.
1060
01:00:33,730 --> 01:00:38,061
David has a panel there and I
just would like to have them.
1061
01:00:41,166 --> 01:00:43,380
And I just decided that
if that was gonna happen,
1062
01:00:43,380 --> 01:00:44,374
I'd do it myself.
1063
01:00:47,614 --> 01:00:49,115
Hang in there, buddy
'cause it won't be long
1064
01:00:49,115 --> 01:00:50,517
before we're together again.
1065
01:00:52,939 --> 01:00:56,323
And I truly believe that,
1066
01:00:56,323 --> 01:00:59,639
and that's been one of
the things that's I think,
1067
01:01:01,318 --> 01:01:03,142
been comforting to me.
1068
01:01:04,471 --> 01:01:06,055
I do believe in an afterlife.
1069
01:01:08,266 --> 01:01:10,601
I just look forward to that.
1070
01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:19,791
(somber music)
1071
01:01:37,123 --> 01:01:40,537
- Everything that I am tells me
1072
01:01:40,537 --> 01:01:43,330
that nothing happens when you die.
1073
01:01:43,330 --> 01:01:46,022
It is the state of
unconsciousness and that is it.
1074
01:01:46,022 --> 01:01:48,114
Now that's very hard for me to accept.
1075
01:01:48,114 --> 01:01:53,119
I would like to believe that
consciousness is eternal
1076
01:01:53,250 --> 01:01:56,516
and that in some form or
another, that we exist.
1077
01:01:58,004 --> 01:01:58,858
I don't think so.
1078
01:02:00,377 --> 01:02:02,181
Intellectually, I don't buy it.
1079
01:02:03,089 --> 01:02:06,363
I just think when you're dead,
you're dead and that's it.
1080
01:02:06,363 --> 01:02:09,936
And that that's why it's so important
1081
01:02:09,936 --> 01:02:11,638
to do something while you're here.
1082
01:02:12,589 --> 01:02:16,135
Because this is the only shot you get.
1083
01:02:17,214 --> 01:02:21,124
(protestors chanting)
1084
01:02:21,124 --> 01:02:23,029
The government, they've
been criminally negligent.
1085
01:02:23,029 --> 01:02:25,512
The President of the United
States didn't say the word AIDS
1086
01:02:25,512 --> 01:02:27,337
until thousands of people were dead.
1087
01:02:30,166 --> 01:02:32,589
And so I've chosen to
spend most of my time
1088
01:02:32,589 --> 01:02:35,862
educating people,
fighting, getting arrested,
1089
01:02:35,862 --> 01:02:38,084
sitting in the street, blocking traffic
1090
01:02:38,084 --> 01:02:39,879
to call attention to this issue.
1091
01:02:41,111 --> 01:02:44,282
(protestors chanting)
1092
01:02:53,316 --> 01:02:54,417
My name is Vito Russo.
1093
01:02:55,348 --> 01:02:56,963
I'm a writer from New
York City and I have AIDS
1094
01:02:56,963 --> 01:02:59,696
and I'm here today because
I don't want to die.
1095
01:02:59,696 --> 01:03:02,839
I know that there are drugs out
there that can save my life.
1096
01:03:02,839 --> 01:03:03,790
And I want to know why
1097
01:03:03,790 --> 01:03:06,463
they're not being tested more quickly.
1098
01:03:06,463 --> 01:03:09,185
I'm here today because
I don't want a quilt
1099
01:03:09,185 --> 01:03:11,097
with my name on it to be in front
1100
01:03:11,097 --> 01:03:12,602
of the White House next year.
1101
01:03:13,450 --> 01:03:15,702
If I live another 10
minutes or another 10 years,
1102
01:03:15,702 --> 01:03:17,654
that's the way I'm gonna spend my time,
1103
01:03:17,654 --> 01:03:21,207
agitating for change, because
change needs to happen.
1104
01:03:21,207 --> 01:03:23,990
I met a guy in the doctor's
office a couple of months ago
1105
01:03:23,990 --> 01:03:26,843
who told me that all
his friends were dead.
1106
01:03:26,843 --> 01:03:29,596
And it took a couple of
seconds for me to sink into
1107
01:03:29,596 --> 01:03:31,037
what I was hearing.
1108
01:03:31,037 --> 01:03:33,199
He was the 32 year old guy who said
1109
01:03:33,199 --> 01:03:36,045
I only have acquaintances now left.
1110
01:03:37,344 --> 01:03:40,980
And what's even more frightening
is that that's not unique.
1111
01:03:41,878 --> 01:03:43,279
And that you know a lot of people
1112
01:03:43,279 --> 01:03:45,244
who just have lost all their friends.
1113
01:03:46,683 --> 01:03:48,445
And that's an experience
that I don't think
1114
01:03:48,445 --> 01:03:50,954
many people have in a
lifetime except during war.
1115
01:03:51,968 --> 01:03:54,554
(somber music)
1116
01:04:47,231 --> 01:04:48,845
- The AIDS epidemic in America is showing
1117
01:04:48,845 --> 01:04:50,577
no signs tonight of slowing down.
1118
01:04:50,577 --> 01:04:54,210
Federal health officials said
today that 400 new AIDS cases
1119
01:04:54,210 --> 01:04:57,143
now are being diagnosed in
this country every week,
1120
01:04:57,143 --> 01:05:01,260
and there were 20.000
new cases in 1987 alone.
1121
01:05:02,799 --> 01:05:03,760
- [Man] The man who took charge
1122
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:06,062
of the presidential AIDS
commission made it clear
1123
01:05:06,062 --> 01:05:07,594
that he thought the government had failed
1124
01:05:07,594 --> 01:05:09,796
to take charge of the AIDS epidemic.
1125
01:05:09,796 --> 01:05:14,300
- I hope that the power
of our recommendation,
1126
01:05:14,300 --> 01:05:18,034
that this document you have, 270 pages
1127
01:05:18,034 --> 01:05:21,568
with nearly 600
recommendations is evidence
1128
01:05:21,568 --> 01:05:24,270
that the system for
whatever reason has failed
1129
01:05:24,270 --> 01:05:26,843
and it's not working well
and we better get on it.
1130
01:05:26,843 --> 01:05:27,974
- [Man] Watkins said the problem
1131
01:05:27,974 --> 01:05:30,086
was not just the AIDS virus.
1132
01:05:30,086 --> 01:05:31,638
- It is the health care system
1133
01:05:31,638 --> 01:05:33,550
that is woefully overburdened.
1134
01:05:33,550 --> 01:05:37,193
It is a drug development
system that is unresponsive.
1135
01:05:37,193 --> 01:05:39,926
It is a nation that has
a specter of drug abuse
1136
01:05:39,926 --> 01:05:41,468
hanging all over its head,
1137
01:05:41,468 --> 01:05:43,480
and we haven't dealt with it well.
1138
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:47,073
It's a nation that is
frankly discriminating
1139
01:05:47,073 --> 01:05:49,188
against other members of our society.
1140
01:05:54,388 --> 01:05:57,193
- [Narrator] In the summer of
1989, the number of AIDS cases
1141
01:05:57,193 --> 01:05:59,856
reported in the United
States quietly passed
1142
01:05:59,856 --> 01:06:01,410
the 100.000 mark.
1143
01:06:04,767 --> 01:06:08,778
More than 59.000 Americans have died,
1144
01:06:09,746 --> 01:06:12,786
more Americans than
died in the Vietnam War.
1145
01:06:38,354 --> 01:06:40,590
Worldwide, up to 10 million people
1146
01:06:40,590 --> 01:06:42,632
have been infected with the virus.
1147
01:06:45,151 --> 01:06:47,897
One new person is infected every minute.
1148
01:06:49,395 --> 01:06:52,729
And there is one AIDS
death every 30 minutes.
1149
01:07:34,781 --> 01:07:36,155
- Bill Krauss.
1150
01:07:38,635 --> 01:07:39,959
Bob Greenwood.
1151
01:07:42,458 --> 01:07:43,933
Richard Anderson.
1152
01:07:46,904 --> 01:07:48,322
Reggie Hightower.
1153
01:07:50,474 --> 01:07:51,643
Gary Barnhill.
1154
01:07:54,253 --> 01:07:55,421
Simon Gutzman.
1155
01:07:57,684 --> 01:07:58,808
Lawrence.
1156
01:08:00,703 --> 01:08:01,871
Randy Partlow.
1157
01:08:03,984 --> 01:08:06,215
Steven K. Sada.
1158
01:08:08,865 --> 01:08:10,710
Felix Villa de Munoz.
1159
01:08:13,810 --> 01:08:15,234
John Riddler.
1160
01:08:17,664 --> 01:08:19,068
Paul Walker.
1161
01:08:21,818 --> 01:08:23,332
Bill Cathcart.
1162
01:08:25,692 --> 01:08:26,966
Bobby Campbell.
1163
01:08:29,495 --> 01:08:31,721
And my friend, Martin Feldman.
1164
01:08:35,341 --> 01:08:36,459
- Jose Ramirez
1165
01:08:39,131 --> 01:08:40,299
George Durtra.
1166
01:08:41,237 --> 01:08:42,581
Scott Outman.
1167
01:08:43,950 --> 01:08:45,284
Gemini Jim.
1168
01:08:46,946 --> 01:08:48,788
Dick Gambol.
1169
01:08:50,526 --> 01:08:51,791
Todd Coleman.
1170
01:08:53,389 --> 01:08:54,593
David Thompson.
1171
01:08:55,732 --> 01:08:56,846
Larry long.
1172
01:08:58,434 --> 01:08:59,488
Frank Cook.
1173
01:09:01,808 --> 01:09:03,943
And my friend, Jeffrey Phillips.
1174
01:09:24,671 --> 01:09:26,219
- Alfonso McPhatter.
1175
01:09:27,804 --> 01:09:28,637
Rosemary.
1176
01:09:30,186 --> 01:09:31,120
Marisol.
1177
01:09:32,438 --> 01:09:37,443
Grenada Gillespie, and the
babies that I have loved
1178
01:09:37,443 --> 01:09:38,698
and cared for.
1179
01:09:39,575 --> 01:09:43,602
Tony Langstone and Connie.
1180
01:09:47,834 --> 01:09:49,689
- Alan, Bert.
1181
01:09:50,616 --> 01:09:52,511
Dominic, Martha.
1182
01:09:53,923 --> 01:09:55,257
Custer Cotrales.
1183
01:09:56,532 --> 01:09:58,087
William Paul Chase.
1184
01:09:59,125 --> 01:10:01,067
David Wade.
1185
01:10:01,067 --> 01:10:02,191
Dean McDow.
1186
01:10:03,129 --> 01:10:05,051
Bill Benville.
1187
01:10:05,051 --> 01:10:08,267
Paul Richards, Hank Irons.
1188
01:10:09,282 --> 01:10:11,607
(speaking foreign language)
1189
01:10:11,607 --> 01:10:14,450
My friends, Peter Hugh Jar.
1190
01:10:14,450 --> 01:10:17,754
Tucker Ashworth, Robert Hayes,
1191
01:10:17,754 --> 01:10:20,409
Antonio Lopez and Peter Lester.
1192
01:10:25,501 --> 01:10:26,996
- Wilbert Darly.
1193
01:10:28,785 --> 01:10:30,359
Jamie Gallagher.
1194
01:10:31,597 --> 01:10:33,199
Robin Johnstone
1195
01:10:34,710 --> 01:10:35,935
James Al.
1196
01:10:37,263 --> 01:10:42,268
My much cherished and
loved, 11-year-old son,
1197
01:10:42,578 --> 01:10:46,312
David Lee Mandell Jr.
1198
01:10:46,312 --> 01:10:50,797
- And my friends, Susan Rose and Tom.
1199
01:10:50,797 --> 01:10:54,093
- And my beloved Son, Gregory Cornell.
1200
01:10:55,051 --> 01:10:58,224
- And my beloved Son, Zachary Jacob Freed,
1201
01:10:58,224 --> 01:10:59,829
five and a half years old.
1202
01:11:01,627 --> 01:11:04,313
- And my beloved Jeffrey Sevcik.
1203
01:11:14,230 --> 01:11:15,094
- [Woman] Floyd Stevenson.
1204
01:11:16,262 --> 01:11:17,603
Roger Whitaker.
1205
01:11:17,603 --> 01:11:22,251
- Jeffrey was a perfectionist
and I'm sure he'd hate this,
1206
01:11:23,389 --> 01:11:25,771
because I'm not, I'm a big slob
1207
01:11:25,771 --> 01:11:28,564
and I've sort of put
sloppy sequins all over it
1208
01:11:29,547 --> 01:11:32,250
onto his name and I think
he would want those removed.
1209
01:11:39,785 --> 01:11:41,985
Sometimes I look at his
picture on my desk and I think,
1210
01:11:41,985 --> 01:11:43,236
"Where the hell are you?"
1211
01:11:45,281 --> 01:11:47,313
He's gotta be somewhere, right?
1212
01:11:47,313 --> 01:11:49,355
And it's been almost three years now
1213
01:11:50,726 --> 01:11:53,990
since Jeffrey died and I still every day,
1214
01:11:53,990 --> 01:11:55,044
I wonder where he is.
1215
01:11:57,293 --> 01:11:59,148
For me the quilt is where Jeff is.
1216
01:12:01,183 --> 01:12:02,284
- Neil, Paco, Raymond,
1217
01:12:03,839 --> 01:12:08,844
Tonya, Todd, Yak, Dennis Cetera.
1218
01:12:11,417 --> 01:12:13,379
- Our most precious Joel.
1219
01:12:13,379 --> 01:12:14,213
- John.
1220
01:12:14,213 --> 01:12:18,374
- Our most beautiful son, John Anthony.
1221
01:12:18,374 --> 01:12:20,705
- Johnny Boy.
- Johnny Boy.
1222
01:12:20,705 --> 01:12:24,353
Olatano and we love him so much.
1223
01:12:26,873 --> 01:12:27,874
We love him so much.
1224
01:12:29,465 --> 01:12:31,430
We hope all parents would understand.
1225
01:12:35,235 --> 01:12:37,820
(somber music)
1226
01:13:05,021 --> 01:13:06,963
- [Suzi] Too many people, too many people.
1227
01:13:08,474 --> 01:13:13,479
Too much love gone, too much tragedy.
1228
01:13:13,849 --> 01:13:16,262
I took David's story and
what his loss meant to me
1229
01:13:16,262 --> 01:13:18,344
and I multiply that by
the number of panels
1230
01:13:18,344 --> 01:13:19,845
and it was just so horrendous.
1231
01:13:20,826 --> 01:13:23,499
Every one of those persons
represented by a panel
1232
01:13:23,499 --> 01:13:25,664
is a person who was loved by somebody,
1233
01:13:27,764 --> 01:13:29,516
and that loss, the tremendous loss.
1234
01:13:30,416 --> 01:13:33,089
And I kept thinking of the
possibilities for David,
1235
01:13:33,089 --> 01:13:37,383
what he could have been,
what his promise was,
1236
01:13:37,383 --> 01:13:38,844
and how cut short it was.
1237
01:13:38,844 --> 01:13:41,397
And again, multiplied that
by the number of panels.
1238
01:13:49,815 --> 01:13:51,951
- [Vito] I think what we want
to see eventually is an end.
1239
01:13:52,858 --> 01:13:55,901
a day when we can stop
adding panels to this quilt,
1240
01:13:55,901 --> 01:13:56,735
put it away,
1241
01:13:58,384 --> 01:14:01,607
as a symbol of a terrible
thing that happened
1242
01:14:01,607 --> 01:14:02,601
that's now over.
1243
01:14:03,919 --> 01:14:07,643
We forget that someday
this is going to be over.
1244
01:14:07,643 --> 01:14:11,068
Some day there's gonna
be no such thing as AIDS,
1245
01:14:11,068 --> 01:14:12,198
and people will just
look back and remember
1246
01:14:12,198 --> 01:14:16,723
that there was a terrible
tragedy that we survived.
1247
01:14:16,723 --> 01:14:19,309
(somber music)
92500
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