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1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:05,170
- Hey, debra,
I'm glad you're here.
2
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:07,139
Tomorrow,
believe it or not,
3
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,775
Is amy's and my
three-month anniversary.
4
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:13,379
- Oh! What time's the parade?
5
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:17,549
- And we would like
to have you-- debra--
6
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,120
Over to celebrate,
and you can bring somebody.
7
00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:24,390
- Oh, that's sweet.
8
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,624
- Can't make it.
- We'll be there.
9
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:26,792
- Nope.
- Yup.
10
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,527
Do the laundry.
11
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:32,664
- How 'bout I shrink
your underwear
12
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,733
And make you think
your butt's going fat?
13
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,342
- Trouble in paradise?
14
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:47,279
- No, just Wednesday
in paradise.
15
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:50,115
- Care for some advice?
16
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:53,052
- No.
17
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,553
- I'll tell you
what I've found
18
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:57,122
To be the key
to a happy marriage.
19
00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,591
- Says the man
who married a stripper,
20
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,260
Then divorced a stripper,
21
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,128
Then married
a regular person
22
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:07,666
And--and hung in there
a whole three months.
23
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,768
- Want a happy marriage?
24
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,603
Hold hands.
25
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:15,741
- Hold hands?
- Hold hands.
26
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,677
- You're a stupid person.
27
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,413
- I'm serious.
28
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,082
Something as simple
as holding hands
29
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,851
Could give someone
a sense of togetherness.
30
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,323
- Stop it!
31
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,859
- You are so afraid
of affection.
32
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,662
- You don't touch me.
33
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,130
- Raymond, raymond, raymond,
34
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:39,698
You're so closed off.
35
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,401
Holding your wife's hand
could be pleasurable for you,
36
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,103
And, more importantly,
37
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:48,574
It might allow her to feel
wanted and loved by you.
38
00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:53,178
- How does that
get me out of laundry?
39
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,614
- If you could connect
with your wife emotionally,
40
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,450
Then perhaps you wouldn't
see doing laundry as a chore.
41
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,119
You might do it willingly,
42
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:04,189
For her,
as a gesture of love.
43
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:10,229
- You are an idiot
wrapped in a moron.
44
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:15,634
- I'll tell you
what I'm wrapped in--
45
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,237
A good and healthy marriage.
46
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,505
- Yeah, well,
wrap it up to go.
47
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,607
- Yeah, well, fine.
48
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:22,641
I found
something that works,
49
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,443
I'm trying to pass it on,
50
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:27,713
But, hey, if you're happy
with the way things are...
51
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,220
What's this for?
52
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,823
- You're a boob.
53
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,880
- I'm sorry, ray.
I'm not in the mood.
54
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:05,317
- I just--just want
to hold your hand.
55
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,619
- Why?
56
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,521
- I got to have a reason?
57
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,623
I wanted to hold your hand,
so I want to hold your hand.
58
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,759
- Oh.
59
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,227
Okay.
60
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,878
I need to turn the page.
61
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:40,385
- Stupid robert.
- What?
62
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,355
"hold hands."
63
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,691
Okay, so I tried.
You obviously don't like it.
64
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:46,925
Stupid robert.
65
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,294
- Robert gave you advice?
66
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:51,263
- Yeah, marriage advice...
67
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,464
To me...
68
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,566
About marriage...
69
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,701
Advice...
70
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:59,571
To me.
71
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,374
- So that was robert's advice
you were trying?
72
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,343
- Yeah, yeah, "hold hands."
73
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,445
He's married three months;
he's on the lecture circuit.
74
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:11,650
- So you were trying to do
something for our marriage?
75
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,318
- Yup.
You know what,
76
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,353
I'm gonna call him
and tell him how it went.
77
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:15,621
- No, no, no.
78
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,756
Listen,
I-I didn't realize.
79
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,292
Come on.
Let's try again.
80
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,360
- What?
81
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,428
- Yeah, come on.
Why not?
82
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:31,470
I thought you were trying
to have sex or something,
83
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,038
But this is nice.
84
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:38,844
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
85
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,346
- Yeah, and this
I can do a long time.
86
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,658
Just, uh, one thing.
87
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,960
Would you mind
not scrunching it?
88
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,461
- What?
89
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,963
- Yeah, I forgot.
90
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,598
You have this way of, like,
lining up my knuckles
91
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,366
And kinda grinding them.
92
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:04,069
- Oh. Sorry.
93
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,737
- That's all right.
94
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,373
That's probably
why I don't hold hands more.
95
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,908
- That's not why.
96
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,810
- Yes, yes, it is.
That's why--
97
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,780
The terrible pain.
98
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:18,684
- Well, I mean,
give me something.
99
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,786
Your hand's
just laying there.
100
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,788
- What do you mean,
"just laying there"?
101
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,956
- Well, this is not
holding hands.
102
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,958
This is laying it on there.
103
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,495
- Maybe my hand's afraid of you,
so it's playing dead.
104
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:34,399
- Well, if anything,
I'm trying to give it cpr,
105
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,101
Mr. Cadaver hand.
106
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,503
- All right, see? See?
I knew this wouldn't work.
107
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,738
There's no point
in doing something like this.
108
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,039
You know why?
109
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,408
Because you actually like
being mad at me.
110
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:44,643
- What?
- Yes, you do.
111
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,978
It's fun for you
or something.
112
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,513
You actually
prefer it that way.
113
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,615
- Oh, I don't believe you!
- See?
114
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,585
You're mad,
just like you like.
115
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:57,055
- Ray, if I'm mad,
it's not because I enjoy it.
116
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,458
- Well, why, then?
- Because for the first time
117
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,426
In ten years, you hold my hand,
but it's only because
118
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,728
You want to prove
your brother wrong,
119
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,429
And then you say
I'm grinding it up
120
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,732
Because I enjoy
being mad.
121
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:10,369
Okay.
Forget it. Forget it.
122
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,571
Everything is fine,
and you are perfect.
123
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,072
Who's robert
to give you advice?
124
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,409
You don't need advice
from anybody.
125
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,850
- Deb...
- I said forget it.
126
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:28,820
- No, look.
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
127
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,021
That wasn't
the only reason I did it,
128
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,757
Just to prove robert wrong.
129
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:34,426
I-I also did it...
130
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,962
To help our marriage.
131
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:40,465
Okay? 'cause we--we have
a good, healthy marriage
132
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:44,403
That I'm very much into.
133
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,004
Very much.
134
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,407
- You can stop now.
135
00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:50,142
- Oh, come on.
136
00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:51,810
Come on.
137
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:56,047
You know you still love
mr. Cadaver mcfloppyhand.
138
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,482
- Stop it.
139
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,583
- Come on.
140
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,052
Come on.
Hold my flipper.
141
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,823
- Do you care about me
at all?
142
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,591
- What? Yes,
of course I care about you.
143
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,627
It's robert, okay?
144
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,028
I don't need robert
seeing you like this tomorrow
145
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,030
At his--
at his three-month jubilee
146
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,966
Going,
"trouble in paradise?"
147
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,501
- No, this is not
robert's fault.
148
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,136
This is your fault,
149
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,105
But you don't want to take
responsibility for anything.
150
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,773
It's the same old story.
151
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,642
- No, stop, wait a minute.
Let me say one thing.
152
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:27,612
Okay, just, could we make up
for tomorrow night?
153
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,915
- Why?
154
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:34,453
- Because robert thinks he has
a better marriage than me.
155
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,988
- So why don't you
work on your marriage?
156
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,824
- Okay, but this thing
is tomorrow night,
157
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:42,594
And I'm golfing
in the morning, so just...
158
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,129
Look...
159
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,097
Please...
160
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,632
For now, just for now,
161
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,669
Could we just pretend
that we made up?
162
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,904
You know,
my mother's gonna be there.
163
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,973
- So?
164
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,477
- So...
Comparing you to amy,
165
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:02,714
Comparing your marriage
to amy's marriage,
166
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:06,952
Comparing the new wife
to the...
167
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:10,889
Your marriage.
168
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:15,060
Doing a wife-to-wife
comparison.
169
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:18,263
You might
want to think about it.
170
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,671
- You're on your own.
171
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:46,258
- Feels perfectly fine.
172
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:48,159
We don't need her.
173
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,235
Deb, listen.
174
00:08:57,237 --> 00:09:01,006
Look, I know--
I know this is gonna sound--
175
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:04,042
Whatever. I'm--I'm really sorry
about last night, okay?
176
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,210
I screwed up.
177
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,945
I just--
it was totally my fault,
178
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:10,148
And you were right to feel
whatever you feel.
179
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:14,986
And just I'm sorry, honey.
I love you.
180
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,588
- Nice try.
181
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,030
- Hey.
Come on in.
182
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,599
- Hey.
Hi, hey, we're here.
183
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,834
How we doing, poops?
- Stop it.
184
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,236
- Okay. Why don't you give me
your jacket?
185
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,038
- No.
- Your hair looks nice.
186
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,607
- No, it doesn't.
187
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:38,710
- Hi. We're almost ready.
- Oh, great.
188
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,179
- You two are late.
People are hungry.
189
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,981
- Sorry.
It's kind of hard
190
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,950
To get out of the house,
you know, the kids.
191
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,285
- Because of that babysitter,
isn't it?
192
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,121
I mean, the one who wears
those rock and roll t-shirts.
193
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:53,592
I wouldn't want
to be left alone with her.
194
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,995
- Speak for yourself.
195
00:09:58,764 --> 00:09:59,931
- Can I give you
a hand there, little lady?
196
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,299
- Oh.
197
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,901
- She has one of those
"kiss the cook" aprons,
198
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,970
But she doesn't need it.
199
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,965
- Oh, that was so sweet:
200
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,669
You two celebrating
your anniversary like this.
201
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:42,307
We used to be happy.
Remember, frank?
202
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:46,711
- Then the meteor hit
and killed all the dinosaurs.
203
00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:52,050
Except for one.
204
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,022
- Ahem. Hello.
205
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,423
- Oh, excuse me.
206
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:01,026
I was just getting
a little dessert.
207
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,395
robert.
208
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:05,330
- I can't help it!
209
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,739
- Oh, this is exciting.
Three months!
210
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:18,743
- I know it's a little silly
to celebrate three months.
211
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:22,781
- No, no, it's wonderful.
Enjoy it. It's nice.
212
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:25,950
- Well, you know how hard
it's been getting here,
213
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:30,455
And the wedding
was a little bumpy, but...
214
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,123
It's been
everything I hoped for.
215
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,892
- Aww.
216
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,894
- You know, I couldn't
have done it without you.
217
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,295
- What did I do?
218
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,731
- You introduced me
to robert.
219
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:40,999
And then you helped me
get over him
220
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,701
And get back together
with him,
221
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,335
Get over him again,
and then marry him.
222
00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:47,839
And so now
I want to help you.
223
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,874
- With what?
224
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,911
- Your marriage.
225
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:56,081
Here.
I read this great book.
226
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,449
I thought of you
the whole time.
227
00:11:57,451 --> 00:12:02,353
- "marriage
is an amusement park."
228
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:03,988
- Isn't that a good analogy?
229
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,858
- Oh, well,
I think I get it--
230
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,893
The ups and downs,
like a roller coaster.
231
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,995
- Yeah.
But that's just one chapter.
232
00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:13,965
There's "haunted house,"
"the hall of mirrors,"
233
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,000
"ride maintenance."
234
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:21,406
- How about the rides
that make you throw up?
235
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,309
- That's great.
236
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:27,245
But they're all in here,
and the point is...
237
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,314
You might not like
all the attractions,
238
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:32,183
But you have to accept
the whole park.
239
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,390
This is the couple
that wrote it.
240
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,893
They're both licensed
clinical social workers,
241
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:45,096
But they're funny too.
242
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,365
- Yeah, they look funny.
243
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,135
- Yeah, they're funny...
244
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,103
But they can help.
245
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,508
- Well, great.
246
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:58,309
Thanks.
247
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:01,513
Ooh, I'm looking forward
to this. Thanks.
248
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:03,848
Okay, well,
I'm just gonna go...
249
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,884
Out there.
250
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:11,289
- In those days,
it only cost 50 cents
251
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,791
To see a movie.
252
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,359
- And you got two movies,
a newsreel,
253
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:15,894
And a stage show.
254
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:19,430
Your mother had to keep it shut
for five hours.
255
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:22,200
- And you remember,
they used to give you plates?
256
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,301
You could make
a whole set.
257
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,003
Remember we got
the green ones.
258
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,504
We didn't like 'em,
we brought them back?
259
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,506
- You won't believe
what I got in the kitchen.
260
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,241
- What?
261
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,443
- Marriage advice from amy.
262
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:38,049
- Well, unless the advice
was more sex, how dare she?
263
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:41,586
- She gave me this book
because she thinks I need it.
264
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,454
- Who are these two idiots?
265
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,123
- Can you believe amy?
266
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,392
I mean, she's been married
for three months.
267
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,360
She probably
still shaves her legs.
268
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,300
- Giving you advice.
269
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,501
- I know!
270
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,936
- Don't you think it's cool
271
00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,237
How I'm not
rubbing your face
272
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,472
In how obviously wrong
you were?
273
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,907
- Dinner is served.
274
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,342
Okay, let's all sit down.
275
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,110
- Oh, doesn't that
look nice, amy.
276
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,313
- Oh, thanks.
277
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,915
- One chicken?
278
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,154
- Thank you all
for coming.
279
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:19,424
Now I would like
to propose a toast...
280
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:21,192
To my bride.
281
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,995
- Aww.
282
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:27,198
- 90 days--
that is what we have shared.
283
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,566
90 days,
284
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:33,204
The usual sentence
for vagrancy.
285
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,606
But I never knew
286
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:37,542
That such a short time
could be so full of joy.
287
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:41,546
- Oh, robert.
288
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,515
- And yet the time
has also gone so quickly.
289
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:47,552
90 days.
290
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:51,656
- Yeah, how many days
is this gonna take?
291
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:52,991
- Raymond.
292
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,392
No, no,
- that's all right.
293
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,427
I don't want to get
overly sentimental.
294
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,563
I just want to say
that I think we all know
295
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,432
How hard it is to find
true love in this world,
296
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,201
And I think that I...
297
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,470
Was one of the lucky ones.
298
00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:08,339
So, amy, no matter
how long we're together,
299
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,608
You will always be...
300
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,644
Forever my love.
301
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:20,551
- Pass the beans, will ya?
- Yeah, here.
302
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,589
- I guess I should really
303
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,024
Say something
about my husband now.
304
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,125
- You've got to be kidding.
305
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,527
- For the love of joe.
306
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,200
- What?
307
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:38,970
- No, nothing.
It's fine. Go right ahead.
308
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,439
- I don't understand.
What's wrong?
309
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,308
- It's just that you two
310
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,709
Are pouring it on
a little thick,
311
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,477
Don't you think?
312
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,679
- It's our anniversary.
313
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:51,282
- It's been three months.
314
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,017
For god's sake,
I spent three months
315
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:57,155
Just waiting for him
to come out of the bathroom.
316
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,626
- I spent ten months
317
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,194
Just waiting
at the bottom of the stairs
318
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:06,030
Yelling, "come on.
Your hair looks fine."
319
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,466
- I've had 3 1/2 years
of him just burping.
320
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,001
- I'm burping your food.
321
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,336
- Yeah, I should probably
poison yours.
322
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:12,503
- Maybe that'd
give it some flavor.
323
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,172
- Hey, you listen here--
- hold it.
324
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,273
What's going on here?
325
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,976
- Yes, this is unseemly.
326
00:16:27,686 --> 00:16:29,053
- I don't understand.
327
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,289
Did we offend you
somehow?
328
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,391
- I think
I can explain, amy.
329
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:36,361
You see, they're jealous.
330
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,429
- What? Why?
331
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,631
- Because we...Are happy.
332
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,467
- Oh, give me a break.
333
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,235
- Yeah, and don't give us
any more books
334
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:49,507
Like "marriage is a circus.
Embrace your clown."
335
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,076
- I didn't mean
to upset you with that.
336
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,411
- What book?
337
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,146
- It's a marriage guide.
338
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,182
In fact, marie,
I got you and frank one.
339
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,698
- I don't understand.
340
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,733
Why would you get us
a marriage book?
341
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,770
- Yeah, I'm not interested
in that subject.
342
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:25,343
- I just thought
you might find it useful.
343
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:35,386
- You're giving us
advice about marriage?
344
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,256
- That's what they do, ma.
345
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,525
- I'm just trying
to be helpful.
346
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:44,295
- These may not be
the people to help.
347
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:48,433
- I'm sorry, everybody.
348
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,569
I guess I just don't see
what the big deal is.
349
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,771
- Amy, our marriage is fine.
350
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,306
Don't you think it's
a little presumptuous of you
351
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,507
To think that yours
is better?
352
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:59,077
- Highly presumptuous.
353
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,815
- I never said
it was better.
354
00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:06,818
It's just, you can't help
noticing things.
355
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,554
- Like all the yelling.
356
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,522
- Oh, what? So you think
you're not gonna yell?
357
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,125
- Amy, there's gonna be
screams comin' out of you,
358
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:17,829
And they won't be because
you're on mr. Toad's wild ride.
359
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:28,706
- This is what you were
talking about, robert.
360
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,775
- Hey, look, don't talk
about us, all right?
361
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,276
Worry about
yourself, huh?
362
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,744
Why don't you two
go hold hands?
363
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,213
- Yeah,
over each other's mouths.
364
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:40,318
Yeah, yeah.
Good one.
365
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,153
- You try
to help people...
366
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,187
- Well, who asked you?
367
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,422
- Jealous!
- You jerk.
368
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:45,890
- Bad husband!
- You big boob!
369
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,391
- Whoa! Whoa!
370
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,393
- Not today, man!
Those days are over!
371
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,329
- Make it today!
- They're over!
372
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,563
- Let's make it today.
- They're over, buddy.
373
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:58,369
- Stop it!
374
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,304
Stop it!
375
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,572
Now sit down.
376
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,145
- Sit down.
377
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:11,182
Now you listen to me.
378
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,717
Maybe you could all
use some advice
379
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,852
From someone who's
in a position to give it.
380
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,221
- See what you did, amy?
381
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,759
- You think we have
nothing to offer?
382
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:25,229
We've been married
46 years.
383
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,398
We've seen the lows,
and we've seen the highs.
384
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,168
- What day was the high?
385
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:41,779
- You two--you're newlyweds.
You're in love.
386
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,915
God bless you,
you know nothing.
387
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,618
And you two,
you're always fighting,
388
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,720
And the reason
you get so upset
389
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,822
Is because you think there's
something wrong with that.
390
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,391
Look at us.
391
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:56,861
This is experience.
This is wisdom.
392
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,763
- This is juicy.
393
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:05,803
- You want some real
marriage advice?
394
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,805
I'm gonna give you
the secret now.
395
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,541
There's gonna be yelling.
396
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,944
There's gonna be anger.
397
00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:15,913
Don't fight it.
Accept it.
398
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,815
You love him.
You hate him.
399
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:21,886
He disgusts you.
Look how he eats.
400
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:26,757
You keep your head down,
and you plow through.
401
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,960
- Amen.
402
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,468
- But, marie,
you said "hate."
403
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:40,805
How can hate have any place
in a marriage?
404
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,975
- You make room.
405
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:46,811
There's gonna be hate.
Hate is real.
406
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,980
Marriage is real.
407
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:50,982
We might fight, but...
408
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:53,551
We're okay with each other.
409
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,720
And do you know why?
We've endured.
410
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,888
We have been through it all,
411
00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,891
And now...
412
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,427
- We're waiting for death.
413
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:13,838
- Not that we're in a rush.
414
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:14,972
- Fair enough.
415
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,875
- That's a marriage.
416
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:29,487
- To robert and amy.
417
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,989
- To ray and debra.
418
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,791
- To marriage.
419
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,860
- Till death do us part.
29290
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