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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:02,368 - Okay, ma, here you go. 2 00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,569 Happy birthday. 3 00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:05,070 - Oh! 4 00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:07,473 - This one's from me, Robert, and dad. 5 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:11,443 - Oh, a present from my sweet, sweet boys. 6 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:12,644 And frank. 7 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,185 Oh! 8 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:26,025 My mother had figurines like these, 9 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,127 and I used to stare at them, 10 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,528 hoping that maybe, when I grew up, 11 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,030 they could be mine. 12 00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,699 But one day, they all broke. 13 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,234 My mother fell into them 14 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,770 when I told her I was marrying frank. 15 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,409 But now I have my very own set. 16 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:44,710 Oh, thank you so much. 17 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:48,147 - Ah, you're welcome. - Oh, honey. 18 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,415 Come here, frank. 19 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,650 - Let's not ruin the moment. 20 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,488 - Oh, my... 21 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,490 You spent so much. 22 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,759 - Ma, don't worry about that, all right? 23 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,095 - But $240? 24 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:07,132 - Those things cost $240? 25 00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:08,467 - It's fine, Robert. 26 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,636 - No, no, no. Well, wait a minute. 27 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,304 How come you told me and dad 28 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,306 that we only had to pay $30 each, 29 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:18,077 while you paid one-- one hundred-- 30 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,280 while you paid the rest? 31 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,714 - Robert, 32 00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,516 your mother doesn't care who paid what. 33 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,251 Sit down. 34 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:29,521 - Frank, you only paid $30... 35 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,523 And Raymond paid $180? 36 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,626 - $180, yes! 37 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,829 - I just paid what ray told me to. 38 00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:39,098 - Skimping on your wife's birthday present. 39 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:42,601 My mother was right to fall down. 40 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,436 - So you had to pay more than us, huh? 41 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,405 You had to hog all the glory? 42 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,440 Glory hog! 43 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,575 - No, it just-- 44 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,410 I can afford it, okay? 45 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,345 I'm doing good; That's all. It's no big deal. 46 00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:55,714 - "I'm doing good; That's all. It's no big deal." 47 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,850 You just had to show me up, right? 48 00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,685 - Thanks a lot, ray. 49 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,489 - I'm paying 1/3, okay? 50 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,124 So I owe... 51 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,559 - $80. - $80. Yes, $80. 52 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,294 - All right, just calm down. 53 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,230 - No. I already paid $30, so I owe... 54 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:14,800 - $50. - I know, $50! 55 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:18,303 - Fine, pay me whatever. Just stop being a jerk. 56 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:21,340 - Maybe you should take these figurines back. 57 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:24,710 They should be in a happy home. 58 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,346 - No, what are you talking about? 59 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:28,780 - 'Cause every time I look at them now, 60 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,282 I'll think of you boys fighting. 61 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,683 Take them back. 62 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,352 - Come on, ma, I'm not taking them back. 63 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,720 - Take them back. They're tainted. 64 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,556 - I'm not taking them back! 65 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,492 You're keeping 'em, and you're gonna Cherish 'em! 66 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,364 I spent weeks trying to figure out what to get you, weeks! 67 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,332 And then I remembered you talking about your mom 68 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,667 and her figurines. 69 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,835 You think it's a coincidence 70 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,737 that I got the same exact ones? 71 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,272 I remembered! 72 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:55,240 Then I went to every antique shop in the city 73 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:58,944 until I found the little bastards. 74 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,779 I didn't care how much it costs 75 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,514 because it's what you wanted. 76 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,283 And now you're telling me to take 'em back? 77 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:07,186 I won't. 78 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,555 I just won't do it. 79 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:16,228 - So you two didn't even help pick them out? 80 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,963 - No, no, I--I helped. 81 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,298 I wrapped it. 82 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,866 - don't lie, Robbie. 83 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,235 Everybody knows you can't work a tape dispenser 84 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,470 with your giant fingers. 85 00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:29,575 - Nice job, ray. 86 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,977 Letting her know you paid more wasn't enough? 87 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,213 - It was all part of his plan-- 88 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:37,282 to find the glory and then hog it. 89 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:38,750 - You know what? 90 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,552 I'm sorry I bought the damn things. 91 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,288 - Well, I'm sorry my birthday was an inconvenience. 92 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,323 - No, ma, I didn't mean-- 93 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,357 - you take them back. 94 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,626 I can't look at them! 95 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,433 - Well, Raymond, 96 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,335 nice going. 97 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:59,705 You ruined that old crow's birthday. 98 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,448 - It's unbelievable. 99 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,717 You know, I try to do something nice and thoughtful, 100 00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:14,653 and it's like I killed my mother's birthday. 101 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:17,823 - Yep. 102 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:21,560 Very, very thoughtful. 103 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,794 - What? 104 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,630 - Hmm? 105 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,798 Nothing. 106 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,268 No, I guess I was just surprised 107 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,336 at how thoughtful your mom's gift was. 108 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:32,704 But I shouldn't be surprised 109 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,906 because you always put a lot of effort 110 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,675 into the things that you buy... 111 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,877 For her. 112 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,283 - Good night. 113 00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:49,488 - No, no, ray, listen, I think it's great 114 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,056 that you got your mom something nice. 115 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,758 I do. 116 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,693 I just sometimes wonder why you don't 117 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,695 put the same thought into the things you get for me, 118 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,463 but it's okay. 119 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,365 I don't care. It's not a big deal or anything. 120 00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,767 I'm not mad. 121 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,703 Ray? 122 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,674 Ray? 123 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,075 Ray! 124 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,610 - Ow! What? 125 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,378 I thought you said you weren't mad. 126 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,880 - I'm not! 127 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:17,416 - I've gotten you plenty of thoughtful stuff. 128 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,818 Huh? You're not making any sense. 129 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,387 Maybe you're delirious from lack of sex. 130 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,663 - You mostly get me gift certificates 131 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,333 and back rub ious 132 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,535 or stuff that I've had to hint that I wanted, 133 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:39,504 like--like these pajamas, for instance. 134 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,506 - You never hinted about those pajamas. 135 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,841 - I gave you the color, 136 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,676 the size, directions to the store, 137 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,511 directions from the front of the store 138 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,013 to the pajama department. 139 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,414 I still had to return them 140 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:51,550 'cause you got the wrong ones! 141 00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:56,755 - See, if you sleep naked, we don't have this problem. 142 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:04,563 Come on, look. 143 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,131 I didn't know you were, like, dying 144 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:09,434 for something super thoughtful. 145 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:12,804 - You're supposed to want to get me thoughtful things. 146 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,840 Come on! 147 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,478 - I have to return these. 148 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,018 - What? 149 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,053 - Nothing. It's... 150 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,721 I can't win. 151 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,423 I can't believe we're arguing about this 152 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:32,891 when I happen to have 153 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,760 a pretty good Christmas gift for you this year. 154 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,761 - Huh. 155 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,562 - Okay, you know what? 156 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,431 I don't blame you if you don't believe me, 157 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,632 but I do; I really do. 158 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,134 - Yeah, right. 159 00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:43,769 - No. 160 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,971 You and I were doing something a few weeks ago, 161 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,739 and it got me to thinking-- 162 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,176 whatever. Just forget about it. 163 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,544 - What? 164 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,746 What were we doing? 165 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,114 - We were in the city, 166 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,916 and we were walking, and you saw something, 167 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,551 and you said, "oh, my god." 168 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:00,585 - Yeah? 169 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,554 - Yeah... 170 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,790 And maybe I bought you something. 171 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,427 - What is it? 172 00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:09,995 - You'll see it; You'll see it at Christmas, 173 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,864 and...Let's hope you find it thoughtful. 174 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,005 Good night. 175 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,175 - I'm sorry, ray. 176 00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:27,546 - It's okay. 177 00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:55,040 - Ray, hi. 178 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,042 - Hey! Hi, Amy. 179 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,044 - What are you doing here? 180 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,645 - I was just in the neighborhood, 181 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,748 thought I'd pop in and say, "howdy-doodle." 182 00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:07,686 - "Howdy-doodle"? 183 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,555 What are you, hitting the eggnog? 184 00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:12,958 - Stop, Robert. Come on in, ray. 185 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,061 - Okay. Thank you. 186 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,163 So...Boy. 187 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,799 'Tis the season, huh? 188 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:25,270 Only two shopping days left till Christmas. 189 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:30,509 Everybody's all Holly and jolly and buying stuff. 190 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,245 You buying any gifts this season, Amy? 191 00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,013 - Oh, yeah, I love shopping. 192 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,848 I've got one more thing to get my uncle Jeff, 193 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,283 and since he just retired-- 194 00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:41,286 - that's great. Listen, listen, listen... 195 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,522 I wanted to get something 196 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,291 really special for Debra this year, you know? 197 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:49,628 'Cause she's just so great. 198 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,964 - Oh, I know. 199 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,200 Debra loves pajamas. 200 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,035 - No, nah. 201 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,737 No pajamas. 202 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,071 - Hey, you know what? 203 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,873 Get out! 204 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,317 - I just--I just want to get her something thoughtful. 205 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:15,186 You know, something that says, 206 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:20,058 "Debra, you mean so much to me, 207 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,795 and this gift makes me think of you." 208 00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,634 So what do ya got? 209 00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,303 - All right, all right, wait a minute. 210 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:33,038 I know what this is. 211 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,739 A few weeks ago, 212 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,208 he got my mom something thoughtful for her birthday. 213 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,743 Now I bet he has to get Debra 214 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:42,080 a gift of equal or greater thought. 215 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,317 - You're very thoughtful, ray. 216 00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,185 You should trust your own instincts. 217 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,887 - Yeah? 'Cause I did think of something. 218 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,255 You know how Debra's always saying 219 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,957 she's always cold? 220 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,925 So I thought, "what if I get her this really great, 221 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,595 "top-of-the-line, primo... 222 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,964 Space heater?" 223 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:06,638 Top of the line. 224 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,039 Four settings: 225 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:11,142 Low, medium, high... 226 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,278 Off. 227 00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:23,021 - Raymond, have you ever even met your wife? 228 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:27,726 Do you know anything about her? 229 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,362 - I know she gets chilly. 230 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,098 - How 'bout something like-- 231 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,366 she spent all her summers as a kid 232 00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:37,135 up at lake, uh... Saugatuck, right? 233 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,737 Up in Connecticut? 234 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,071 - Lake who? 235 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,673 - Lake saugatuck. 236 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,974 So you get her a painting 237 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,643 or a nice photograph of lake saugatuck, 238 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,645 or she likes craftsman furniture, 239 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,179 or she's always mentioning how she wished 240 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,848 she had more time to spend in the garden, 241 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,182 so you get her the things with-- 242 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,717 wait, wait, no, no. I got it. I got it. 243 00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,052 Okay, this is it. This is it. 244 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,755 A first edition of "to kill a mockingbird." 245 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,690 All right, she did her college thesis on it. 246 00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,091 It's her favorite book. 247 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,960 I'm telling you, she's gonna love it. 248 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,732 - So not a space heater? 249 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,000 - No. 250 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,136 "To kill a mockingbird," first edition. 251 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,871 - She would love that, ray. 252 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,739 It's very nice, Robert. 253 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,074 - Okay, yeah, I was thinking 254 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,243 of something like that too, you know, yeah. 255 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,678 I mean, that or the space heater, 256 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,945 whatever's better. 257 00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:23,415 - You're a wonderful person. Get out. 258 00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,383 - Okay, all right, thanks. - Bye, ray. 259 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,819 - All right, bye. 260 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,988 "One flew over the cuckoo's nest?" 261 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,322 - "To kill a mockingbird!" 262 00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,158 Take a class! 263 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,293 - Right, right. "Cuckoo's nest." 264 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,762 I knew it was a bird book. 265 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,802 - Now, where were we before the monkey came in? 266 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,044 - Calm down, hey! 267 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,714 - Oh, quiet, frank. 268 00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,048 They just opened their presents. 269 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,850 They're excited. 270 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,019 - Well, they need to learn the true meaning of Christmas: 271 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,988 Grandpa wants quiet. 272 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,726 - Okay, Deb. 273 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,227 Here you go. 274 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,895 Hope you like it. 275 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,406 - "To kill a mockingbird." 276 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,308 - Yeah, it's one of those first editions. 277 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,009 - Yeah, I know. 278 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:29,848 This is... 279 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,316 This is so great. 280 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,119 Oh... 281 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,788 I love this. Thank you so much. 282 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,323 How did you... 283 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,525 Oh, I love you. 284 00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,263 - I'm glad you like it. 285 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,366 - I killed a bird once. 286 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,912 - I have to tell you, ray, 287 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:03,114 when you told me you bought something thoughtful for me, 288 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,549 I didn't totally believe you. 289 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:05,984 I'm so sorry. 290 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,886 - It's okay. 291 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:11,990 Seeing your face now, that's like your gift to me. 292 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,192 - Oh! 293 00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:21,533 So, um... 294 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,972 Harper Lee won the pulitzer prize for that, 295 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,140 didn't she, Deb? 296 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,075 - Yeah. 297 00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:34,212 Oh, god, this is so wonderful, ray. 298 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,847 - Frank, 299 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,348 why can't you put a little more thought 300 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,349 into what you got me? 301 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:41,986 - Slippers are very thoughtful. 302 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,956 Every day, I see your feet when you get out of bed, 303 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:48,459 so I thought, and I thought... 304 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,428 And I thought, 305 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:54,265 "what can I get to cover up those things?" 306 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,875 - You know, ray... 307 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,410 What was it that we were 308 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,011 doing in the city that reminded you 309 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,446 of "to kill a mockingbird?" 310 00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:12,951 - What? 311 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,285 - Remember? 312 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,920 Remember, you said we were in the city, 313 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,122 and I said, "oh, my god!" What was that? 314 00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:20,491 - Right. Right. Well... 315 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:23,294 We were in the city, and you said, "oh, my god," 316 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:27,932 because... Of all the pigeons... 317 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:31,569 That there were that day in the city, 318 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:36,374 and I thought, "pigeons...Birds... 319 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,878 "Of a feather flock together... 320 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,013 Flock, mock-ing bird." 321 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,048 Merry Christmas! 322 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,623 - Oh, wow! 323 00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,658 - Wow. 324 00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:57,962 - I know, right? 325 00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,465 It's funny how the mind works, isn't it? 326 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:04,302 - So, uh, you did your thesis on "to kill a mockingbird," 327 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,470 didn't you, Deb? 328 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:06,971 - Need some more coffee, sweetie? 329 00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,273 - Deb? 330 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,341 - Okay, sure, two sugars, sugar. 331 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,676 No, you know what? I'll get it. 332 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,211 - I'll come with you. 333 00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:14,479 - Did your thesis-- of the mock-- 334 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,981 - hey. You know what? 335 00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,483 I can't wait to put the kids to bed tonight 336 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,551 so I can start reading. 337 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,529 - So did you start your book last night? 338 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:34,098 - Nope, didn't get a chance to. 339 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,068 - You're damn right you didn't. 340 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,137 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas. 341 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,505 - Hey. - Hi. 342 00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:41,706 - Merry Christmas. 343 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,241 - Merry Christmas. Hi. 344 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,576 We just came from across the street. 345 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,246 It's not the holidays until you've seen frank 346 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,615 in his Santa face underwear. 347 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,653 - Did you see what my handsome husband gave me? 348 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,056 First edition "to kill a mockingbird." 349 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,258 My absolute favorite book! 350 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,126 - Hey, great gift. 351 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,529 - I know. I love this. 352 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,264 Oh, it was so nice. 353 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,499 - Look, I'm your husband. That's what I do. 354 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,336 - don't be modest. You gave me the perfect present. 355 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,171 - You know, I almost went with another idea, 356 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,639 something from lake saugatuck. 357 00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,644 - Lake saugatuck? 358 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,080 I don't think I've even mentioned that in ten years. 359 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,581 - You know, I guess I remembered it 360 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,217 'cause I knew how important it was to you. 361 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,019 - Oh! 362 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,056 Isn't he too much, huh? 363 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:34,092 - It was me! 364 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,630 - What? 365 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,132 - You should be happy with me! 366 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,001 I told him to get you that book! 367 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,236 It was my idea, not Raymond's! 368 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,338 Me, mine, all me! 369 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,040 - Robert-- 370 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,009 - oh, you never even heard of "to kill a mockingbird!" 371 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,276 - Oh, yes, I did! 372 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:53,378 - You did not. You never read the book. 373 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,279 You never saw the movie! 374 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,315 I bet you didn't even know there was a movie about it! 375 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,050 Huh, who's the star of the movie, Raymond? 376 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,051 - What is the diff-- 377 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,185 - Gregory peck! 378 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,420 Gregory peck! 379 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,455 He played Atticus Finch, Gregory peck! 380 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,790 "All right, scout, 381 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,492 step aside while I shoot this rabid dog." 382 00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,627 He won the Oscar in 1962! 383 00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,796 You moron! 384 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,405 - What's this guy talking about? 385 00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:25,309 - So you took credit for Robert's idea? 386 00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:27,311 You made up that whole city thing? 387 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,713 You lied to me? 388 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,149 - Yes, yes, and yes. 389 00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:35,119 - Robert, what are you doing? 390 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,320 - What do you mean? 391 00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:38,156 - Why is it so important Debra knows 392 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,124 that the book was your idea? 393 00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:41,259 - Because it's the truth. 394 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,827 Raymond's a glory hog. 395 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,695 He did it to ma, and now he's doing it to Debra. 396 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:47,198 He's got to be stopped! 397 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,635 - You know, Robert... 398 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,104 I gotta say, that book seems a little more thoughtful 399 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,239 than what you got me. 400 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,574 - What did he get you? 401 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,410 - Tickets to the ice capades. 402 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,380 - What's wrong with that? 403 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:05,183 The ice capades is 2 1/2 hours of frozen fun. 404 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,154 - Ice capades? 405 00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:11,689 That's what mom said I should get Debra. 406 00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:28,372 - That was your mother's idea? 407 00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:32,477 For me, you had to go to your mother? 408 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:35,313 - Man, that is lame. 409 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,115 I mean, right? 410 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,549 - don't even, ray. 411 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,817 All you care about is, 412 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,719 "what should I get for my mom?" 413 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,221 "You think my mom will like this?" 414 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,156 "Why don't we ask my mom?" 415 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:48,126 Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. 416 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:52,230 - How do we get out of here? 417 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,601 - Come on, Debra. You got your book. 418 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,236 I gave it to you. You should be happy. 419 00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,770 Isn't it the thought that counts? 420 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,606 - Yeah, but it wasn't your thought; It was his. 421 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:03,875 - Yeah, and why do you care so much about her gift? 422 00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:05,409 - I don't care about her gift. 423 00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,811 I was just trying to make him look bad. 424 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,647 Sorry, man. - It's okay; I understand. 425 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,382 - You know, ray, 426 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,351 I don't want you to ever get me another gift again, 427 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,719 because every time you do, 428 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,554 it just makes me realize how little you care. 429 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,189 Merry Christmas, ray. 430 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,757 - Come on, now you're becoming my mother. 431 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,659 - What? 432 00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:27,465 - Let me finish! 433 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,699 Look... 434 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,501 The only reason I ever put any thought 435 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,336 into my mother's gift is because she's, uh-- 436 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,538 - materialistic. - No. 437 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,206 - Yes. - Yes! 438 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,341 Gifts and stuff, that's all she cares about. 439 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,576 I don't think of you that way. 440 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:39,877 You always used to say, 441 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,479 "I don't care about anything 442 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:42,947 as long as we're all happy and healthy." 443 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:45,483 And look at us. We're all happy and healthy. 444 00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:50,421 We're all healthy. 445 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,456 For now. 446 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,592 Isn't that the only thing that matters? 447 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,826 I mean, come on, it's Christmas. 448 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:59,897 What about Jesus, huh? 449 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,832 You think he cared about getting a bunch of gifts 450 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,568 on his birthday? 451 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:07,371 Rum-pum-pum-pum, that's all he wanted. 452 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,210 - That's true. Rum-pum-pum-pum. 453 00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:16,614 - Look, I'm sorry I lied. 454 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:20,351 I--I lied that night about having a great gift for you, 455 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,887 and I lied about coming up with the cuckoo bird book, 456 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,489 and--and-- 457 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,657 I know. I know. 458 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,659 I took all the credit for it. 459 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,962 But at least you're not going to the ice capades. 460 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,403 I'm sorry. 461 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,938 I stink at this. 462 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,407 But that doesn't mean I don't care about you. 463 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:49,013 In fact, I wouldn't lie half as much if I didn't. 464 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,454 - Hi, everybody. 465 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,455 - Hey! - Hi, Marie. 466 00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,856 - It's December 26th. 467 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,459 It's time to return a few of the gifts I got 468 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,928 that weren't quite right. 469 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:07,632 Does anybody have anything they'd like brought back? 470 00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:15,606 - No. We're fine, Marie. 471 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,676 - Yeah. We're very happy. 472 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,648 Hey, Marie, isn't that the bowl I gave you? 473 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,484 - Okay, then. Merry Christmas. 474 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,303 - You like this? 475 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:47,438 - Shh. Here comes snoopy. 32326

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