All language subtitles for Married.At.First.Sight.S17E19.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH[EZTVx.to]_Track03

- ♪ I just feel...

- Ten singles looking for love
married complete strangers.

♪

- ♪ Look out, coming in hot

- Last time, while
one couple continued

to enjoy being newlyweds...

- There you go.

- Our other couples
kept navigating

through their ongoing issues
as Decision Day approaches.

Becca and Austin.

- When you do try to,
like, make a step forward

in intimacy in any way,

like, I need
to trust that it's not because

you feel like you have to do
it but because you want to.

- I'm committed to, like,
keep trying to work on things.

♪

- Chloe and Michael.

- Paige and Ephram--

they said you were
a bit of a people pleaser.

- Mm.
- I think we could run a risk

of being so hyper-focused

on trying to make
each other happy

that we're not
actually focused on our needs.

- I agree with that.

- Clare and Cameron.

- Like, I feel
like I've just been

on an emotional roller coaster,
like, every single day.

- If she says that she wants
to stay together, like,

I'm going to stay together
with her on Decision Day.

- Emily and Brennan.

- Like, it just has
meant so much to me

that he's been here for me.

And, like, it just kind of
felt like we were, like,

back to, like, when
everything was,

like, really good between us.

I'm hoping we can, like,
keep this moving forward.

- ♪ Let's get it
- ♪ Let's go

- Right here.

- And tonight...

one couple continues
to discover more

about the stranger
they just married.

- I'm looking for [bleep].

I'm looking
for another vibrator.

- Cheers to...
both: Making it to this point.

- And with Decision Day
less than one week away...

- We have to do what's
best for ourselves.

- Yeah.

- Our other couples
take one last-ditch effort

in order to help
them make the biggest decision

of their lives.

- I can't just live a life
that isn't real.

Like, I can't keep pretending.
- Yeah.

- One of my deal breakers was,
was positive, positive person.

- What do you [bleep] mean?

There is no negativity.

[crying]
- Okay.

♪

- I just start questioning
if what I'm asking for

is too much.

- I've heard through
the grapevine

that he wanted to go
on a double date with Cameron

and that he is going on dates.

♪

- ♪ It's all or nothing

- This is
"Married at First Sight."

- ♪ There's no other way

♪ It's all or nothing

- ♪ This is our time now

♪ Don't you dare look back

[knock at door]
- Oh, my God.

- Look at you.

- How we doing?
You look unbelievable.

Like, your eye--
- It's getting normal.

- I don't know
how you've healed so quick.

- Thank you.

What about you?

I know you saw
Cam unexpectedly.

- I know.
And it's just, like, so normal.

Like, nothing is ever awkward.

- Did he, like,
check in on you?

'Cause I feel like you always
talk about him,

and, like,
how much you're calling.

And like, did he use
that time to, like,

really, like, check in?

- No. Yes. He was totally like,
I know it probably feels

lonely because I'm not here.

But I was like, honestly,
yes, it has been lonely

because I wish you were here.
- Yeah.

- However, I think
I've taken this time

to explore myself more.

And he was like,
I'm happy to hear that.

And he's doing well.
He sounds like his normal self.

And he knows me so well

that he's like, Clare, I know
that you're going to get

emotional on Decision Day.

- I mean, we're all going to
be, like, sobbing.

- And I was like,
what do you mean?

I don't cry ever, Cameron.

And, obviously,
I cry all the time.

And he was like, I know that
you're going to get emotional.

I just want you to know, like,
that's not going to change

the way you feel
about our decision,

because we've already
made our decision.

You know what I mean?

I think Cameron is
just so, like, even.

Like, I obviously came
into this process

literally thinking
I was going to leave

with, like, a long marriage

or hoping for that.
- I think that was the intent.

- No. Exactly.

But I think the fact
that it's happening now

is pretty sad that it's ending

in the way that
I didn't want, really.

Like, I go from
being a married woman

to, like, a separated person
to, like, a friend.

- I just am a firm
believer everything

happens for a reason.
- Totally.

- And I think I have, like,
tried to think about putting

myself in your shoes
with, like, Brennan being here

and so good with
what I've had to deal with.

I can't imagine, like,
if he wasn't here, like, if--

I don't know. Like, if I was
in your position,

and, like, now going through
this, like, I feel...

- It's wild.
- Like I can sympathize and...

- Yeah. Well, it seems like
Brennan's been very present...

- Yeah.
- And very hands on.

But how is that going?

- This I definitely think
shifted things.

I don't know
what that means, but...

- Mm-hmm. Have you guys
talked about it or no?

- No. I was like, I just want
all these good days

to keep happening
because I think it's only

setting us up for success.

But I made us reservations for
dinner to just kind of, like,

lightly start talking
about it

without fully talking
about it...

- Mm-hmm. D-Day, man.
- Just so, like,

we're slowly getting,
like, aligned.

I think all I feel right now
and probably what I'll tell him

is, like,
I definitely have confirmed

that I want you in my life.

I'm going to be curious
to know how he reacts.

- Time will tell.

- Your guess is
as good as mine.

- Ooh, it's a lot.

♪

- ♪ Baby, I'll be all right

♪ I'll be okay

♪ Living for the moment

♪ Take it day by day

♪ Baby, I'll be all right

♪ I'll be okay

- Hello.
- Hi.

How are you?
- I'm Becca.

- Hi, Becca.
I'm Roxanne.

Good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Hi.
- This is such a cute space.

- Thank you.
Well, come on in.

- Perfect.
Thank you for doing this.

- Absolutely.
- We're really excited.

- Decision Day is coming up.

And I think there's
so much to still

figure out in our marriage.

- I'm going to give
you two pieces of clay.

- There have been
moments where, like,

I seriously don't
know if he likes me,

like, when we're off camera.

Like, he has definitely
said he likes me.

But it's a matter
of, like, showing it.

And I think, like,
when we're on camera,

he does a really good
job of showing it.

And then I think when we're off
camera, it's just not as much.

Honestly, at this point,
I don't think

I really know who Austin is.

- So, like, now we've
been kind of experiencing

some issues lately.

- I think I have had
a problem, or, like,

I've had a hard time
with, like, feeling--

Like, a lot of the times,
like, we're

having deep conversations or
connecting, it's on camera.

And then it emotionally
exhausts you,

and then we don't really
have those conversations

off camera.
- Yeah.

- And so I'm unsure

if, like, you really like me.
[scoffs]

- I mean, you know,
I'm sorry you feel that way.

Like, I definitely...

do like you
and do want to, like,

make things better for us.

And you just need, like,
to trust what I say

and, like, when I do say
those things.

- I know that I need
to trust you.

But also, like, it's the
whole believe what people do,

not what they say.
- Yeah.

- I just--

I know you like me as a person.

I don't have any doubt of that.

It's just whether you like me
in that type of way.

- Well, I do like you
in that type of way.

♪

And I'm sorry I'm not...

♪

Good at expressing it to you.

♪

You know, Pastor Cal said when
we had that expert meeting--

was that we need
to, like, trust in, like,

the little things and
that, like, our intentions

in everyday conversation

is for the better
for the other one.

And I think that's
been going better.

Do you think
it's been going better?

- Yeah.

I mean, even today,
I said something

about the washer door
just being kept open,

so the washer
doesn't get moldy,

and you didn't fight back,
which was really nice.

- Yeah.

- Because that normally
would be a comment

that wouldn't go over well.

- I mean...

like, it hurts me to, like,

hear you say or think
that, like, that

wouldn't go over well,
but I feel like...

you know, yeah, maybe I, like,
might disagree,

but I don't disagree, like,
in a poor way.

Like, do you think my
disagreements are combative?

- Yeah.
Definitely.

Like, you always say that you
need a reason why for things.

And sometimes it gets
really exhausting

to, like, be giving, like,
long-winded answers

when, like, we're rushing out
the door and, like, whatever.

And so, like, today,
I appreciated

that it was just like, okay,
and then, like, move along,

because it's not--
like, to me, I don't

think it's a big thing to ask.

- I kind of feel
like in the past,

you've told me that,
like, past boyfriends are,

like, kind of like pushovers.

And, like, after what you said,

it makes me kind of feel like
you want me

to just not think
for myself all the time.

♪

- No, I think you think for
yourself 100% of the time.

I'm asking for you to think
of us for a small percentage

of that time.

♪

- Okay.

- I'm not asking
for you to be passive.

I don't know how to, like,
communicate that

in a way
that makes sense to you.

Maybe I am asking for too much.

And in that case,
that's something

I don't really know
what to do with.

♪

- I mean...
[sighs]

I don't think it's, like--
Hey.

- No, like, this whole thing
has made me question, like...

♪

For you to say that, like,
my exes have been passive

and, like, that may be just
what I'm looking for, like,

I don't know how to
respond to that with you,

'cause then, like, what
do you want me to say?

I don't know.

♪

Like, you're valid in bringing
those things up to me.

I don't want to be getting
emotional to dismiss

your wants and needs.

It's just, like, a matter of--
I just start questioning...

[sighs deeply]

If what I'm asking for
is too much.

♪

[object thuds]

♪

I'm so cold.

I'm grabbing yours
'cause it's fleece-lined.

- Oh, thanks.
Get mine dirty.

[chuckles]
Full of clay.

It's fine.
[chuckles]

♪

You can do it.

Just...

I'd appreciate it
if you wash your hands before.

♪

- I would be lying if I said
that that wasn't hurtful.

And I get why you don't
want to get your coat dirty.

But I'm also, like,
sitting here shaking.

And, like, if you wanted
my coat right now,

if you wanted anything of mine,

I would give you
whatever you needed,

no matter how
messy it would get.

- So it does feel like
it's unfair for me

to ask you to wash
your hands to wear it.

Like...
- It's not unfair.

It's just like
all of the things compounded--

like, just some gesture
that, like...

I come first or that,
like, you care about me

so deeply, that, like,
if the lining of your jacket

gets a little clay on it
that we have to dust off later.

♪

- I just feel like...

it makes me look [bleep],

like, just to ask if you
could wash your hands

before putting on the jacket.

- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
make you look bad.

♪

- ♪ I will leave
with nothing ♪

♪ I'm taking it home

♪ I dearly want to find

[soft music]

- ♪ These days,
it just feels right ♪

♪ You sitting by my side

[knock at door]
- Hello. Hello.

- Welcome to our zoo.

- Hi. It looks so nice.
- [laughs]

- I love the decor.

- Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.

- Got a nice
panoramic view here.

I get the sense that Dr. Pia
is going to do a nice deep dive

into intimacy.

But I'm actually
looking forward

to having this open
conversation with her.

I think it would be a great
benefit for us to kind of dive

into topics that
maybe we haven't explored

as deeply on our own.

- How's it going?

- Kind of reminiscent
of my place.

- Really good, I think I'd say.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

You know, having that positive
momentum right out the gate,

and I think we've had that,
and really kind of two things--

trying to ride it and not
take it for granted, you know?

- Yeah. Okay.
- Yeah.

- So you all are still
presenting your best selves

to one another?

- I would say

we haven't really
had that luxury to...

to constantly just have
our best foot forward.

- Mm.
- I mean, I feel like the depth

of our conversations,

I don't even know
that I've breached

with long-term relationships.

- Okay.
- So...

there's an intensity here
that I think has also given us

the grace to be who we are

authentically,
unapologetically,

take-it-or-leave-it
kind of situation.

And it just feels like it's
just been still really easy.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, and I would clarify
that by saying we're still

in a space where we're
trying to be our best selves,

but, like, I mean, there have
been moments in between--

you know, even in between
filming, for example,

where, like, if we
have a 30-minute gap, I mean,

I might try to squeeze
in a quick nap.

Like, I might power down.

I may not be my best self

in that moment.
- Sure.

- But there's still, I believe,
like, an active effort

to kind of be our best
selves and be fully engaged,

more importantly.

- Well, 'cause
you're human, right?

And so you're going to have
not-your-best-self moments

and so forth.
- Sure.

- Does that, like, prevent you
from connecting with Chloe?

- With Chloe, no.

I say that with confidence,
because my belief is, like,

when it comes
to a relationship,

especially marriage,

if you're going to be
truly vulnerable...

- Mm-hmm.
- You're essentially empowering

the person you're with
to be able to hurt you the most

and trusting that they won't.

And so I can say that I have
had that confidence

to empower her in that way.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

- And that's made it easier

for me to be vulnerable
with her.

- Mm-hmm. Okay.

So I want to ask--
I got the opportunity

to do both of your home visits,
which I love.

So I got to know you all
on a little different level.

And I know that
you both expressed

that you were very intimate
people, very sexual people.

You said that you
keep your vibrator

underneath the pillow.
- I do.

- Why is that?

- So it's easy access.

- For?
- For when I need it.

- So of course I want to ask--

how has it been going in
the sexual-intimacy department?

- Sure.

- I mean, I--

So the one thing
coming into this

that I asked of Michael

is my need to build
an emotional connection.

We're both
physical-touch people,

so we're touching all the time,
holding hands,

kissing, cuddling,

just really enjoying
each other's company.

- Mm-hmm.
- And, you know, things are--

things are
rapidly moving forward.

- Yes.
- Good.

I'm glad to hear that.

I'm glad to hear that.
Okay.

- We have been making sure
to explore each other.

- Okay.

[electronic music]

♪

- ♪ You can get yours

♪ And I'ma get mine always

- What's the next step?

- Oh, that's going to be
bow-chicka-wow-wow.

- Oh, okay.

What does that mean for you--
the bow-chicka-wow-wow?

- I mean, I don't know.

We haven't really
identified that yet.

- Well, no time
like the present.

That's why I'm here, right?

- I'm getting--
- Getting hot?

Can I get a fan?

- Would you like to take it
from here?

- Oh, yeah. No, I think--
like Chloe said, you know,

I think we both feel like
we've been able to build

a strong emotional connection.

And so now we're kind of--
having that luxury,

we're kind of putting
our focus on making sure

that that's sustained,
you know,

before we jump into having sex.
- Yeah.

- So you all are comfortable
with each other,

being in each other's presence?
- Mm-hmm.

- Are you comfortable being
naked around each other yet?

- Oh, yeah.
- Good.

- I don't sleep
with any clothes on.

- Okay.

- We are just totally--

we are totally,
totally, totally comfortable.

- So, as free as you all are,
as, you know, comfortable

as you are
with each other's bodies,

have you all masturbated
with each other yet?

- Oh.
- [chuckles]

We have not.

But I would not be opposed
to this.

- Okay. So can I give you all a
homework exercise,

a little activity?

- We love homework.
- Sure.

- Okay, so I want you all
to take a field trip

to an adult novelty store.
- Okay.

- Go find three items that you
would like to use together.

- Okay.
- Okay?

And then I want you to be able
to use those items

to the best
of your comfort level.

- Okay.

- So this will be
a new experience for me.

- I got ya.
I'll navigate.

- Okay, you can be
the tour guide.

- I can... [clicking tongue]
Take you through.

♪

- ♪ Mixing it up

♪ Making a mess

♪ But that's just half
the fun, I guess ♪

- Look at all this wine.
Wow.

It's, like, my favorite things
really coming together here--

wine, steak.

I'm actually feeling really
happy since the accident.

I never thought that
we would get to this place

before Decision Day.

Cheers to...
both: Making it to this point.

- [chuckles]

Literally surviving.
- Mm-hmm.

♪

- We are survivors.

- We sure are.

- Yes.
Amazing.

- Wow. You have, like,
the best presentation.

- Oh, thank you.

- Thank you.
- Beautiful.

Beautiful.
- Then your tuna tartare.

- We really did order it up.

- Our wontons, there
will be a little bit

of wasabi aioli on there.

So it has a little
bit of a kick

but nothing outrageous for you.
- Thank you.

- Where do I begin?

[both crunching]

- So you feel good
about Decision Day?

- I definitely feel better
about it post-accident

than pre-accident.
- Yeah.

It definitely brought us
closer together.

- I mean, I didn't know
I had to hit a tree to, like,

see some amazing things
from you.

But if I had to hit a tree
to do that, I'm happy I did.

- [chuckles]
- And I'm happy that I saw,

like, parts of you
that I have not seen before.

I think this gave us
the best chance

to, like, expedite a couple
gold stars, you know?

- Yeah.

I think there was
a big disconnect

for weeks
about what a friendship is

versus a relationship.
- Mm-hmm.

- And I think that
was getting blurred,

and expectations were
very high after the accident.

♪

- I'm pretty sure, like,
we didn't really establish,

like, this for sure
as a friendship.

♪

It's like, maybe you
knew that in your head,

but it wasn't really,
like, communicated.

- I think...
[sighs]

My actions were showing
in those settings,

which I thought were enough,
but, clearly, they weren't.

So I should have, I guess,
told you sooner.

- Mm-hmm, 'cause as you said,
you hate mine readers,

and that's why you
broke up with your ex.

And I'm not a mind reader,
especially in this situation.

I feel like I made it
so clear to you, like,

all I wanted was direct
answers from the beginning.

So, yeah, I think
that is a big deal.

And I think that was
very important for you

to have to say to me whether
you thought that or not,

especially for being on a show
and being married,

like, which is kind of,
like, a big deal.

♪

- But you have to understand
that I was still trying.

- You believe that.
That's your belief.

Like, I don't feel that way,

but it doesn't mean
you have to agree with it.

But I just feel like
after the honeymoon,

a guard or something went up,

and it just never felt like
it was, like, a fair chance.

- Are we talking about what
we've learned from it,

or are we just--
you're going to--

- No, I'm just saying, like--

I'm just giving
another example.

- Tell me all the
things you just--

- No, I'm just saying, like--

- All my effort's just
not being acknowledged.

That's what we're going
to continue to do, right?

- Like, most girls
probably would not have,

like, stuck it out.

- Oh. Okay.

- No, I just want
you to know that.

And, like, I'm glad we went
through it together.

But, like, I didn't
want that for us both

because, like, we got
to the point that we're at.

And I wouldn't have stayed
if I didn't think there

was more growth to be had.

Again, didn't think it
would take hitting a tree.

- [sighs]

♪

- What?

- I'm just...

♪

Was it you staying
or convincing me to stay?

I'm just kind of confused.

- Oh, it was definitely me
convincing you to stay,

'cause I didn't think it
was fair to me

to, like, have you decide.

If anyone should have
decided to be out,

it should have been me.
- Okay.

- But I didn't think
it was fair for you

to take away

my experience from me.

- Which is why I stayed,

because I put you before me.

I said--
- I know that.

- Do you?
- I do.

- Okay.
- And what if you didn't?

We would have never been
able to even be friends.

- If I didn't listen to you,

you wouldn't have
almost died, so...

- What?

- We would have been out, and
you wouldn't have almost died.

- Are you serious right now?

- To have it come to that point
where I almost lost you?

Yeah.

Do I think back and say,
was it worth it?

It was not worth almost
losing you to stick this out.

- You can't even put
those two things together

'cause we wouldn't be here
if the accident didn't happen.

- Like, that's--like, it--

- Yeah.
- [sighs deeply]

[groans softly]

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

- Is that rare enough for you?
- That's good, yes.

Thank you.
[silverware clattering]

- I just want to eat this.

- Okay.

♪

I mean, it does kind of hurt
my feelings

that you don't want
to, like, talk about anything.

- Not what I said.

I just want to eat the steak
for five minutes.

Is that okay?
- Yeah.

♪

- [sighs]

[ice rattling]

- I don't think it's worth
going round and round,

but I've told you I don't think
you gave it your all.

I think I've given it my all,

but would love you to speak to
that a little more,

even though I know you don't
agree, and that's fine.

I don't know
if you have any more

to say to elaborate on that.

♪

- In the real world,

you go on one date maybe a week

over the course
of a couple months.

And then you figure out if you
want to be with that person.

- Mm-hmm.
- We were 24-7.

And I felt very comfortable
that I saw...

♪

Every side of you
that I could.

And I saw

a few red flags here and there.

- Like, what were my red flags?
I don't mean to interrupt you.

- The romantic-chemistry aspect
wasn't there.

The negativity for me
is, like, a huge thing.

That's one of my--
one of my deal breakers was,

was a positive,
positive person.

- I'm the most positive
[bleep] person there is.

- Okay.

Saying I hate this,
I hate that, I hate this,

and then you took
the opportunity

when it was Michael and Chloe's
vows that were beautiful,

and you just destroyed them.

- I thought their vows were
a little, like, vanilla,

to be honest.

Like, nothing stuck out.
[laughter]

- I think Emily has
something to say.

- No, I just thought Michael
was gonna, like, say something.

- He's like, this is
my second round of vows.

- I didn't destroy them.

- They were basic.

They were vanilla.
They were this.

I couldn't believe you could
make that into something

that was negative.

♪

It's too much for me.

- [voice breaking]
I am the most positive person.

If you can't [bleep]
see that about me,

that is--literally,
that is the disconnect.

And, I mean, like, holy
[bleep].

- So that's why I just don't--
- Like, this is--

like, this is just
groundbreaking.

- So, before the accident, you
don't think

you were extremely negative
all the time?

- I really don't think that.

- Saying "hate" all the time
isn't negative?

- What do you [bleep] mean?
There is no negativity.

[cries]

♪

[chair scrapes]
I'm gonna take a second.

[crying]

♪

[dramatic music]

- He thinks that I'm negative.

[crying]

♪

Am I overreacting?

Like, is that not like the most
[bleep] worst [bleep] dig

anyone could ever [bleep] say?

♪

- It's just not true.

And, like, that's a red flag.

And, like, I'm supposed
to [bleep] know that?

♪

He doesn't know who I am.

Like, you wonder why I'm, like,
so [bleep] up in the head.

[sobs]

♪

I just can't believe
he said that.

I really can't.
I am in disbelief.

♪

- [groans]

- And now I want to know
all the red flags now,

'cause now I know I had
absolutely no [bleep] shot.

♪

Can I have another glass
of Malbec, please?

♪

- [exhales deeply]

Yeah, so I would, at this
rate now, really like

to know the other red flags.

- I don't know.

I've already--
- Honestly.

That might've been, like,
the most hurtful thing

that anyone's ever said to me,

'cause it means, like,
you don't know

who the [bleep] I am
as a person.

♪

Do you get where
I'm coming from?

♪

- Yeah.

♪

It's very hard for me
to say those types of things,

because I don't want
to hurt your feelings.

- This is hurting my feelings.

- Okay. Like, this accident,
I was like,

this is a new side of her that
I've never seen before.

- Which I already told you,
like, I'm the same person.

I've seen a side of you that's
maybe made me more positive

'cause now I'm not like [bleep]
in my head all the time,

and, like,
you're not making me angry.

So maybe that's what you saw.

But, like, I have been
the same positive person,

and that is what people
would describe me as,

as, like, a key quality
and characteristic.

And that was, like, maybe

the most [bleep]
hurtful thing ever.

Like, I don't deserve a lot.
I'm like that just was like--

- So, Emily, Emily, I'm just--
I'm just trying to be honest.

- Keep being honest.

- Like, you're asking me
to be honest with you.

- I am.

- And I'm telling you how
it makes me feel when you

say those words all the time.

- 'Cause it means you don't
know who I am as a person.

- Okay.

- And it means
you never gave me

the chance to fix something

that clearly bothers you
so much.

- Well, I've told you--

- How the [bleep] am I supposed
to know that that means

as much as it does to you?
- [sighs] Okay.

♪

- Can we just talk about--
- And that's how you reacted?

- Can we please talk
about some positives?

- You had every
[bleep] opportunity

in this dinner to talk
positive, and here we are.

It didn't have
to be this way.

- I don't we're
making any progress.

- I mean, yeah. No.

I feel the most hurt I did
this whole time.

So, yeah, that sucks.

- ♪ You burned it down

♪ You draw me back

♪ You light the match

♪ It only took one spark

♪ To burn it down

- ♪ I'm on my way back home

♪ Back home

♪ I'm on my way

- [crying] This is hard,
because I don't want

to, like, hurt Austin.

But I also feel like there's
been a level of dismissiveness

and combativeness.

♪

♪

[dramatic music]

- Last night was
a really long dinner.

And to make things that
much harder for us,

Brennan decided to
go to his house.

And then he left,

which was really unfortunate
and hurtful.

And just, like,
sad and just, again,

like, how everything
got handled.

Yeah, we ended up
not even getting

to focus on the tons
of positives

in the past two weeks
or just in general, really.

I'm kind of in my head.

Just, like, right when I think,
like, it just can't get worse,

it, like, does somehow.

♪

[funky music]

♪

- ♪ Can you feel the heat
rising up, up, up? ♪

♪ Can you feel the beat?

♪ No, no, never stop

- Ooh.

Oh.
[chuckles]

- That's my kind of
outfit right here.

- Yeah?
Is that what you have in mind?

Is that one of your three?

- You do this so
I can't talk, huh?

- [laughing]
Okay.

- ♪ La, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la

♪ Feel the heat is coming

♪ La, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la

- Hey, you all. Welcome.
- Hi.

- Hi. How's it going?
both: Good.

- How are you?
- Pretty good.

Welcome to Vanilla.

Have you been here before?
- Thanks for having us. No.

- For the most part,
we have clothing, lingerie.

We also have mostly kink items
on this side,

different impact play,
different sensual items.

- We need to find three things
that just speak to us

that we can then use
a little later.

- On a scale of one to ten,
if ten would be ultra freak

and number one would be,
like, a vanilla wafer,

I would say I'm probably 6.3.

You know, I have
some spiciness to me,

but not to the max.

You know, I would say
my natural tendency in bed

is probably more vanilla,
to be honest,

but I am more than happy
to partake in freaky activity.

I may need someone
to help inspire that.

So any of these things that
she wants to play around with

to kind of just continue
to mold our intimacy,

I'm all for it.

- These are pretty cool,
the tasty holdings.

They're body scrubs

that will, like, actually be
edible as well.

And they'll make you
taste really good as well.

- Okay.
[laughs]

- So I would taste
like a glazed doughnut?

- Yes, precisely.

- Do you have maple bar,
by chance?

- [laughs] There is a peach
and a cherry flavor.

- Maple bar?
- Yeah.

- That was so specific.

- Why was that so specific?

- I feel like if I was a
doughnut,

I would be a maple bar.
- Go off. Go off.

- Maple bar, if given a choice,

glazed doughnut hole
based on what's available.

- My God.
So specific.

What is happening?

I'm having a lot of fun
watching him explore.

And I think the more
positive experiences

Michael and I have together,

the more inclined we are

to create a really strong
relationship and partnership.

And it's been
so important for me

that we build
an emotional connection

before we take any sort of
really intimate step together.

And we get to have fun
in these moments

as we're doing that.

All of that eventually leads
to consummating the marriage.

[chuckles]

That's to beat your ass.

- [smacks leg]
Oh, [bleep].

That hurt. [bleep].
- [chuckles] It hurts.

- Break the stones.
[smacks leg]

You hear the bass there?

- Check them out--just a little
fingerless latex glove.

It does have
a little ring finger.

You might want some lube.

- I just need to
equip this real quick.

- Maybe some grippers on
the outside, you know?

- [chuckles]

Hi, baby.
[laughter]

This doesn't do it for you?

How dare you?
I'm trying, all right?

- [laughing]
I don't think so.

- This doesn't work?

- He looked like he had a fin.

And...

[laughs] Just, ah, that's
one of my favorite moments

of all time.

Well, God dang it.
I don't know what to do.

- No, I feel like you do.

- We're going to
have to buy this.

- I may never be able
to take this off again.

I'm just letting you know.
- Let's go home with this.

I'll be laughing about this
for four days.

What is happening?

I'm looking
for [bleep] [bleep].

I'm looking
for another vibrator.

- Hey, I'm not stopping you.

- And I was really looking for
something that was a glove...

- I know you wanted this
Swiss army knife right here.

- With some
feely things on it.

- It has a little...
[imitates suction]

And a little...
[imitates suction]

all together, mm.
- [laughs]

How was that again?

- A little...
[exhales sharply]

and... [imitates suction]
And mm.

I think it said
it did all three.

- Okay.
Where are vibrators?

- So this one is going to be
a vibrating masturbator.

Pretty much
a vibrating stroker.

- That is amazing.

- And then this
one is the big dog.

- Oh, my God.
- The luxury.

- This is the Range Rover.
- [chuckles]

- I think I'll start
with the simple one,

or else I may never
leave the bedroom.

- I'ma need you to need me
at some point.

- Yes, I do say yes to Chloe.
- [laughing] Oh, my God.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Water?
- [sighs] Oh, yeah.

I would actually love that.

- So things did not go as
planned last night at dinner.

He threw out this
negativity thing

that I'm a negative person,
and I left the dinner crying.

Sad, but maybe
it's best for us.

I don't know.
Who knows?

- Yeah.

I just think that, you know,
we have been through a lot.

I think that I've tried to
protect you as best as I can.

But I think, you know,
there are things

that are worth telling you
that you need to know.

[crying] I just don't feel
like Brennan is giving you

the same respect
that you give to him.

And I didn't want
to tell you this.

At the same time, I had to be
realistic about what's going on

and let you know
what's happening.

I've heard through
the grapevine

that he wanted to go on a
double date with Cameron

and that he is going on dates.

Like, he's not a good guy.

And I'm just upset
that you even thought

for a second that he
had your best interest,

because he doesn't.
- [sobbing]

♪

- Like, I appreciate
it so much.

And...

it just confirms a lot
of what I've been feeling.

And I've tried to,
like, look past,

and, like, make--
see the best in him,

and, like, believe
that this wasn't the case.

But it's like, I truly believe
the way he talks to me,

he just doesn't respect me.

This just shows that.

It's, like, very, very sad...

- Yeah.
- No matter what.

- And you deserve to be loved
and to be heard,

and to be seen
and not diminished

and not dismissed
to make himself feel better.

And that's not something
you deserve.

- Like, I don't think
there was, honestly,

a better time than now.

[sniffles]
I would have been devastated

to know this after, knowing
that I had no control--

- He's just not ready
for a commitment.

♪

- It just [bleep] sucks,

but it also validates

where I am now and, like, where
I've been, like...

- I'm just sad that he's not
realizing how amazing you are.

- This isn't how
it had to end it,

and it's gonna end the way
that it needs to end.

- Period.

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

- Hey.

- So, basically, I found out
that you tried to go

on a double date with Cam.

And so the fact that, like,
I feel like you've cared

so much about yourself and
reputation in this

and did something that stupid,

honestly, I just don't
understand, like,

why you would do something
so dumb.

But, yeah, I can hear
your reasoning, at least.

♪

- Yeah.
That's not true.

- What do you mean
it's not true?

- I don't even know
what you're talking about.

- I don't--

- Me and Cam joke
about [bleep] all the time.

Like...
- It definitely wasn't a joke

if he felt the need
to call Clare

and say how [bleep] up
he thought it was.

- You have [bleep] against me?

- I do have [bleep]
against you, Brennan.

- Why can't you
just take ownership

to anything you [bleep] do

or even--I don't know--
say sorry?

Yes, it does.

Yeah, I am.

Remember when I say
accountability?

You don't think
I have accountability?

You think I'm so negative.
You think you tried everything.

You think you didn't--
like, when I say there was

never a chance of anything.

- The negativity

caused there to be no [bleep]
chance of us being ever--

- All right, once again,
blaming it on me, once again--

- I am blaming it on you.

- You never told me
anything about negativity.

- You're the most negative
person I've ever met.

That's the [bleep] that
pulled our relationship

to go nowhere.

- That's also--
I'm not negative.

- And I'm not looking
for that.

- And you literally
think you've done nothing,

even right now.

That's how I can feel
like you're taking this--

is that you've done
nothing wrong.

And, somehow,
I've been negative

when I call you out for,
like, needing to,

yeah, change some [bleep].

- You think I have to take
accountability for that?

- Uh, yeah.

- I've been loyal
to you this whole time.

- No, you have not.

And you have tried to come
out of this unscathed.

And by doing so, you have
been so [bleep] stupid.

And you've discredited me,

thinking that I'm not
smart enough

and I'm going
to be your little puppet

and stay positive
the whole time,

when you've been doing
this [bleep]

when I've already given
you way more

of the benefit of the doubt,
and like, tried to,

like, see the positive
in you in this situation.

And I'm [bleep] done.

This isn't just me. This is not
me starting anything.

You did this to yourself.

And you cannot say
that it's because we--

we're friends and you
apparently were single.

That's--we were very much
married, and its two months,

and you can [bleep]
pull it together.

- If that's how you feel after
I saved your [bleep] life,

then--

- Are you [bleep] kidding me?
You have--

- Like, it's unfathomable
to me

that you can talk like this.

- You're manipulative.
You have no accountability.

You have no awareness
of anything.

And if you think
in any [bleep] world

that this is going
to come on me, you are wrong.

♪

- And you're going
to try to destroy me?

- You did not save my life.

Anyone would have done
the same thing if--

- No one else did, did they?

- No one else is there
for a chance.

And granted, yeah,
if I got to see the real you

in that two weeks and that's
what I got out of this,

knowing, like, you do exist
somewhere down there--

hopefully that is really you,
that's great.

But, like, you can also not
throw in you saved my life.

- All right.
All right.

There's no reasoning with you,
and you're going to say

whatever the [bleep] you want
to say, so...

yeah, I'll be
at the apartment [bleep].

And then I will see
you on Decision Day.

- Okay.

- Peace.

- [bleep].

♪

- ♪ It's not love

♪ It's not love

♪ So come on

♪ Let it be

- Hi.
- Hello.

- You brought tissues.
- I brought tissues.

I brought a blankie.

- She's ready to go.
- She's ready.

- To that, I thought we'd have,
like, circle time on the floor.

So everyone pick
your spot on the rug.

We're just going
to let it all out.

- I'm here--food, tears.

- Okay.

♪

- The circle of trust.

This is what it looks like.
This is what it looks like.

- Please talk to me
and fill me in.

I'm just curious
how it's all going.

- Um, yeah.

[voice breaking]
I'm probably just going to cry

because I found out that...

Brennan was asking Cam

to go on double dates
with other people.

And it just
kind of went to show,

after, especially, like,
our dinner the other night

that we had, like, that I've
just always felt like he

just doesn't respect me.
- Can you believe?

- And so, after we had dinner
the other night,

that ended up going like--

I guess, I went off
a little bit

just because he wants me
to be positive

and sit there and just shut up.

And so, no matter
what I say or do,

he will always come back
and say I made it negative.

Like, why can't
I stay positive?

And, like,
this just isn't life.

And, like, I get the
repercussions every day after.

He said this didn't work
because of me two weeks in

because I was negative.

- Honey, one of my
biggest issues with you

is that you are too positive.
- You're too positive.

- Like, what pisses me off
is that the worst sides

of Brennan are not on camera.

Like, Brennan makes Emily
delete diary cams

if they don't reflect well
upon him.

- He keeps being like,
this isn't part of our story.

I'm like,
I don't know what story

you already planned out for us,

but, like, this
is part of my story.

- Like, these are
the conversations

that she's had
with me off camera.

- And then he tried to tell me
today that, basically,

like, everything
should be dismissed

because he saved my life,
and I'm like--

- Yeah, the savior complex, no.

- Again, you appreciated me
when I hit a tree.

Granted, I appreciate
all you did.

And I'm happy of all of this.

I saw I think who you are
for a hot sec.

- Yeah.
- But, like, that is also not

your saving grace, and, like--

- I don't think we say
that's who he is.

I think we say that's
who he was in that moment.

- Mm-hmm.
- And who he is is who he is.

- And we can be grateful
for him in that moment.

But we can also reflect back
and say, you know what?

That was great that he was
like that in that moment,

but that's not how
he is all the time.

- That's not how he is.

- The issue is, is that these
men have been so concerned

with the optics
and the story of everything,

rather than our feelings
and our relationships.

- So sad.
- And with Austin,

what he has an issue with
is that I called him combative

and dismissive on camera.

And I said on camera,
too, many times--

I was like, I can be combative
and dismissive.

Like, I can also be
those things.

- We all can be.
- Right.

We're all human beings.
- Yes. Yes.

And me saying that
about you isn't

me saying that, like, you are
this horrible, horrible person.

- Right.
- Like, it's me telling you

that in this time,
I experienced this part of you.

- That's literally
what life and marriage

and any relationship is.

It's like, these people thought
they could come on,

and, like, everything would be
rainbows and butterflies.

And I think, like, we all had
our rose-colored glasses on.

Mine might have been on
for longer.

- [laughs]
- True.

- But you should have
never felt insecure.

That's not who you are.

I never have had so much
second-guessing myself.

That's not what
a healthy relationship is.

- It's still really hard

for me to, like, separate
the two realities

of, like, on camera versus
off camera

because he would say
these things to me

and be emotionally intelligent,
and I'm trusting that.

- Yeah.
- And then that stuff

doesn't happen off camera.

I see the way
that Austin just, like,

walks past me
when I'm changing clothes.

Like, I see when I'm,
like, putting on my makeup,

like, he's looking at himself,
he's not looking at me.

Like, I just want to be told

that, like,
I'm pretty every now and then.

- Isn't that sad?

Isn't that sad
that you don't feel that?

With Decision Day coming up,
we have to do

what's best for ourselves.
- Yeah.

My reality is, like, newer,

and it came on
a little bit faster,

so, like, I'm still processing
what has happened.

I want to say yes
on Decision Day

because he is telling me that
what's actually [bleep] us up

is the cameras
and I do love Austin.

Like, I think he is making
our world a better place.

♪

I know that, like, when
Austin and I are together,

we can have so much fun.

There are times when we just
lay in bed and just laugh.

And I know that he is
a good person.

I know that he has
good intentions.

I know that this process
was hard for him.

I know that it was
emotionally exhausting.

And I know
that he gave it his all.

And I know that
I gave it my all.

And I know that at
the end of the day,

he can see that, like,
I have lifted him up

and that, like, I love him--
I truly do.

I cannot wait
for this just to be easier.

- ♪ Don't

♪ Let me go

- ♪ We about to catch fire

♪ Just to burn it down,
the time is now ♪

♪ About to catch fire,
about to catch fire ♪

♪ We about to catch fire
- ♪ Fire

- ♪ We about to light it up
- ♪ Light it up

- Hi, guys.
- Hi. Hello.

- Welcome to Ironton.

- Thank you.

- Yay.

Thank you so much.
- I'll go grab your tea.

- How are you doing?

Talk to me.

- [sighs, clicks tongue]

That's a good question.
[chuckles]

- We had a really
interesting discussion,

where Austin wanted
to talk about...

how he's hurt
by the fact that...

'Cause it's only recently
that I've started to, like,

actually discuss ways
that I'm...

♪

Having a difficult time.

- I feel like sometimes the way
she, like, expresses

her, like, thoughts
and feelings about me

are more harsh

than, like, deserving.

So I think...

the words that she uses
to describe me

aren't actual depictions
of who I am.

And that hurts, and I don't
know how to get over that.

- The conversation
was confusing to me.

And, like, he didn't like
that I called him combative.

And I think he was
more concerned

about how he's being portrayed

than, like,
how it's affecting me.

- Yeah.

I finally have just been
100% honest on camera.

- Yeah.
- And he's having a hard time

with that because--

- And how truthful
your relationship is.

- Yeah, and now when it isn't
given back to me,

especially off camera,

I have now started
to, like, regress

in how much, like, I...

- Give to him.
- Yeah.

- I think you're trying to just
have an authentic relationship.

- Yeah.

- And that means to, like,
figure it out, talk about it

so then you can move forward.

- Yeah. It just stinks
that now I'm hurting him.

- Yeah.
- And I don't want to be.

But I also, like,
couldn't keep,

like, pretending that these
things weren't happening.

- We all strive
to be good people,

and we want other
people to understand

that we're good people.

And if that comes
into question,

I think that's
the number-one thing

that you can get
defensive about--

is, like, I am not
a harsh, cruel person.

♪

- We're each triggering
each other

in certain ways.
- Yeah.

- And I think
the two of us together,

when we have a disagreement,

neither of us feels heard
by the end of it.

- When things
were going better,

before that chasm, I guess,
started to open up

between you two,
like, was that feeling there?

- Yeah.

There are a lot of things
that we...

are very compatible on,
very compatible with,

and, like, we agree upon.

I think there's a lot of,
like, good in our relationship.

Unfortunately,
that hasn't been the focus

for the past couple of weeks.

It's been mostly the bad,

which, like, it's kind of hard

to, like, see through the bad
to see the good.

But, like, that's what I want.
That's what I'm trying to do.

- I mean, obviously,
either way,

I'm going to support
your decision.

But, like, throughout
the entire process,

I don't feel
like you've felt desired,

pursued,
appreciated, cherished.

Like, those are,
like, very cornerstone things

that really should be on fire

in the beginning.
- Yeah.

- And, like, I don't see
that catching fire.

And I'm like, these are
red flags that are, like,

a hard stop, in my opinion,

that I feel like you would say
that to me.

If I was in this situation
and I told you these things,

you'd be like, Lindsey,
this isn't your person.

- I'm doing, like, all
of these things, and, like...

- I know.
You're tired.

[somber music]

♪

- Yeah, but I don't want
to be hard on him.

And I don't want him
to feel like...

♪

Yeah, like he's a bad person.

But I can't just...

live a life that isn't real.

Like, I can't keep pretending.
- Yeah.

♪

- I need to change if,
like, I want to be with her.

And, like, I'm willing
to put in the work

to see, like, how it goes.

And I really want
to [bleep] try.

But, like, where's the limit?

- You have to take care
of yourself.

- Yep.
- And, you know,

it's a silly cliché, but, like,

you can't light yourself on
fire to keep someone else warm.

You shouldn't just roll over

and be someone that you're not
just to make it work.

♪

[chill pop music]

- ♪ All the youngest
promises ♪

♪ All the youngest promises

♪ All the youngest promises

♪ Say their goodbyes

- How's it going?
- Oh, hello.

- I'm just going
to grab my stuff.

[soft music]

♪

All right.
Want to talk for a sec?

- Not really.

- All right.

I wish you the best.

- ♪ You know how to hurt me

♪ Mmm

♪ How to hurt me

♪

- I never thought in a million
years, it would end this way.

I never wanted it
to end this way.

I never thought he would do
the things he did.

I never thought
he would lie about it.

There's not many more words
to say at all

from my perspective
at this point.

♪

Like, this is the end
of Brennan and Emily.

- ♪ You know how to hurt me,
how to hurt me ♪

♪ Got me at your mercy

♪ I'm at your mercy

♪ I won't let you
drive me away ♪

♪

- ♪ If you want me
to be the one ♪

♪ It shouldn't be
so complicated ♪

- I'm hurt and upset.

Austin left the apartment.

[somber music]

♪

I'm just trying
to, like, sort through...

♪

Actions and reality
and, like, what has happened.

I think Austin and I were,
like, in an okay place

before...

I went to go talk
with Lindsey.

We hugged and kissed
each other goodbye.

We, like, were laughing
together, like, just--

just, yeah, good.

So, when I came back
and in the apartment,

something had shifted.

And I could tell that...

he was no longer really happy.

And we sat down,

and we got
into another discussion

about how he is worried

about the optics of him
on the show,

how I don't realize that,
like, I'm painting him

to look like
a really awful person

and not the way
that he actually is.

Him being so concerned about
the optics makes me question

the reality
of our relationship,

because if what he's
so focused on now

is the optics
of our relationship, like,

how do I not know that how he's
been acting this entire time

has been to make
the optics look good?

Because now they're
finally not looking good,

and he's not concerned
with how we're doing.

I mean, he is,

but his main concern
is the optics and not us.

♪

His main concern is him.

♪

Like, I think that there's
a lack of trust there,

no matter what,

because if Austin trusted me
and knew that I always

have his best interest
at heart,

he would know
that I was not painting

his name red across the town.

I know I still never will.

It feels sad because
I really do love Austin

and I really did want
to make this work.

♪

And from the get-go,
I had a crush on him,

and I still have
a crush on him.

♪

But I just think...

♪

I don't think
he would be as...

combative or dismissive
with his person.

- ♪ I was alone

[vocalizing]

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

- Decision Day is tomorrow.

And I've been taking
into consideration

the magnitude that this
decision has on my life,

you know?

Never thought I'd
be getting divorced,

but I wouldn't want to have
done it with anyone else.

♪

Oh, that's not true anymore,
unfortunately.

♪

I wish you didn't have
to make it this hard.

I wish we weren't
at this point.

I wish we could have...

had smooth sailing
from our reset

and just walked away
as friends.

And I just feel like
it's really unfortunate

that we are where we are.

- I am feeling a lit--

not a little, very uneasy,
actually, about...

less of the day, just more
around seeing Brennan

and kind of
what is going to transpire.

I want to make sure
that I'm saying

everything I need to say,
even if that hurts me,

makes it sad, like,

for me to have to say
that is hurtful to him.

I just want to make sure
that I'm...

saying all that I need
and leaving with no regrets.

But I have
just a bad feeling about...

what Brennan is coming

and what is in store
for us tomorrow.

♪

[mellow music]

♪

- The sex shop was really fun.

I enjoyed having
that experience.

It was a good one.
- Mm-hmm.

It was really fun.
- Yeah, apparently.

Professional over here, huh?

- Can we open it?
- Go ahead.

- Yeah, I just want to--

I just want to open it.
- See?

- Full transparency--

I've never had a run-in
with one of these.

- Mm-hmm.
- [laughs]

- I would find it quite odd if
you had one of these on hand.

You just kept them in stock.

♪

- Okay. Rechargeable.
- No, no, these are earbuds.

- Oh, those are earb--Wait.
- Please, put them on.

Apparently there is
a sound element to this.

- [laughs]

- Oh, it has a condom on.

Hold this for me, please.
- [laughing]

- It's like a jellyfish.
- [continues laughing]

[object squeaking]
- You hear the sound?

- [continues laughing]

- You're ruining the mood
for me with all this laughter.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
be gentle with it.

- Let me see it.
- Smell it?

What?
What are you doing?

- I just wanted to see
what it smelled like.

- Oh. No, please.
Go ahead.

- I'm so--can I just touch it
for a second?

- Sure.

It looks like [bleep] hole,
by the way.

- No.
- This looks like a penis hole.

- That's a vagina.

- No, I know what
it's supposed to be.

But what vagina do you know
has a helmet like that?

- [laughing]
- Huh?

- I think sex toys are
an amazing addition

for just a little more
adventure and exploration

and doing something that might
be a little out of the norm.

And Michael seems super
receptive and fun with them,

so I'm excited
that he's as open as I am.

We're going to give it
five more minutes,

and then you're going
to give it a go.

Just going to give it a whirl.
- Sure. I'll try.

I can't do it if you're
laughing the entire time.

- I promise not to be.

I'm just fascinated.
I just want--

I want to hear the moans.

[laughing]

- Can I name her Penelope?

- Penelope?
- Yeah.

It's a cute name.

- Penelope?
- Yeah.

- Dear--Kill the lights.
- Mm-hmm.

- Five more minutes.
Set your alarm.

And then you're
getting to work.

[sighs] It feels like this
needs a place in the bed now.

So now we've got five animals.

- Calling Penelope an animal?
How dare you?

Mm-hmm.

- I'm so excited.

I don't even--
I feel like a kid on Christmas.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm. I do.

- And what exactly
are you excited for?

What's exciting you?

- I just I want to watch
Penelope in action.

- I can't wait to try.

- Ooh, nasty.

♪

- Ready?
- Ah.

♪

[moaning, smooching]

- Next time...

while Chloe and Michael
continue

to grow their marriage,

Decision Day arrives
for the rest of the couples,

as they make the biggest
decision of their lives.

- I was very unaware
of my feelings.

- I felt your emotion
of what I would call love.

- She just, like, doesn't
trust me on camera

or off camera anymore.

- He also threatened me
the other day

and said he had enough
to ruin my life on TV

after this all came out.

- I'm going to say it plainly.
I [bleep] up the process.

- [sniffles]

- You told me you wanted to
go to war with me, so I just--

- I did not say that.
- Okay.

- I do care for her.

- [voice breaking]
I don't feel centered

to be able to, like, tell.

- Do you want to stay married?

[suspenseful music]

- Or you want
to get a divorce?

♪