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1
00:00:03,474 --> 00:00:06,377
[rock music]
2
00:00:06,443 --> 00:00:09,346
♪ ♪
3
00:00:09,413 --> 00:00:13,818
Welcome to the West Texas
Nature Preserve, mm-kay?
4
00:00:13,885 --> 00:00:16,854
So before we get started,
interesting fact:
5
00:00:16,921 --> 00:00:18,890
We're just
a few hundred feet away
6
00:00:18,956 --> 00:00:20,658
from the New Mexico border,
7
00:00:20,725 --> 00:00:23,494
which is in the Mountain
Time Zone.
8
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,462
So if you go up the road
just a bit,
9
00:00:25,529 --> 00:00:27,131
it's an hour earlier.
10
00:00:27,198 --> 00:00:28,666
Whoa.
11
00:00:28,733 --> 00:00:30,668
So we can, like,
travel through time?
12
00:00:30,735 --> 00:00:32,870
Well, no.
That's not how it works.
13
00:00:32,937 --> 00:00:35,406
It's just
a different time zone.
14
00:00:35,472 --> 00:00:36,640
Whoa.
15
00:00:36,708 --> 00:00:38,275
Did you hear that, Beavis?
16
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:41,012
He said we can travel
to future time zones.
17
00:00:41,078 --> 00:00:42,179
Cool, yeah, yeah.
[both laugh]
18
00:00:42,246 --> 00:00:43,447
Let's go.
19
00:00:43,514 --> 00:00:45,216
Now,
if you keep your eyes peeled,
20
00:00:45,282 --> 00:00:47,618
you can see up to two kinds
of cactus.
21
00:00:47,685 --> 00:00:49,253
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22
00:00:52,656 --> 00:00:55,259
Well, Beavis,
on the other side of that sign
23
00:00:55,326 --> 00:00:57,328
lies an hour in the future.
24
00:00:57,394 --> 00:00:59,130
Whoa.
- [laughs]
25
00:00:59,196 --> 00:01:01,565
A place few people
will ever go.
26
00:01:08,706 --> 00:01:11,075
Well, here we are.
27
00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:12,643
Cool.
28
00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:15,279
It feels advanced or something.
29
00:01:15,346 --> 00:01:18,615
So, um, so what do you wanna do
here in the future?
30
00:01:18,682 --> 00:01:22,053
Uh, let's go in there
and get a hot dog.
31
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[laughs]
- Um, I'm not hungry yet.
32
00:01:24,789 --> 00:01:27,524
Uh, then let's go another
hour in the future
33
00:01:27,591 --> 00:01:28,793
when it's lunchtime.
34
00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:31,228
Oh, yeah. Good idea, yeah.
35
00:01:31,295 --> 00:01:34,065
This is cool.
- Just go around here.
36
00:01:34,131 --> 00:01:35,599
It's gonna be cool.
[laughs]
37
00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:36,801
There we go.
38
00:01:36,868 --> 00:01:37,935
Yeah, that's better.
39
00:01:38,002 --> 00:01:39,570
Yeah, now I'm starving.
40
00:01:39,636 --> 00:01:41,806
I think.
41
00:01:41,873 --> 00:01:43,674
This hot dog is full
of things not known
42
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to our time.
43
00:01:45,076 --> 00:01:47,144
[chuckles]
44
00:01:47,211 --> 00:01:48,212
Oh, damn it.
45
00:01:48,279 --> 00:01:49,513
Don't worry, Beavis.
46
00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:51,615
We can just, like,
go back in time an hour
47
00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:53,417
to before it got the germs
on it.
48
00:01:53,484 --> 00:01:55,486
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, cool.
49
00:01:55,552 --> 00:01:56,653
[chortles]
50
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,791
[both laugh]
51
00:01:59,857 --> 00:02:01,893
There we go.
52
00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:04,161
It's amazing no one else
has thought of this.
53
00:02:04,228 --> 00:02:06,563
Most people are stupid, Beavis.
54
00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:09,633
It's a fact.
- Yeah, yeah.
55
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:11,102
Yeah, that's better.
56
00:02:11,168 --> 00:02:12,837
No germs.
57
00:02:12,904 --> 00:02:14,939
Hey, you gotta pay for those.
58
00:02:15,006 --> 00:02:17,041
Uh, sir, don't worry.
59
00:02:17,108 --> 00:02:19,010
In the future,
we will get some money,
60
00:02:19,076 --> 00:02:20,577
and then we will go back
in time
61
00:02:20,644 --> 00:02:22,313
and pay for this an hour ago.
62
00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:24,748
Remember? [laughs]
63
00:02:24,816 --> 00:02:27,484
- Ow! [grunts]
- Damn it.
64
00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:28,920
Boy, for a guy in the future,
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00:02:28,986 --> 00:02:30,721
he doesn't understand
time travel.
66
00:02:30,788 --> 00:02:31,923
Yeah, yeah.
67
00:02:31,989 --> 00:02:33,324
Yeah, I thought people
in the future
68
00:02:33,390 --> 00:02:35,026
were supposed to be smart.
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00:02:35,092 --> 00:02:36,961
Jesus.
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00:02:37,028 --> 00:02:39,330
[Jacob Sartorius' "Chapstick"]
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* I wore that hoodie
to school this morning ♪
72
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,535
[laughs]
73
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White people.
74
00:02:46,137 --> 00:02:47,905
[chuckles]
75
00:02:47,972 --> 00:02:50,074
This is like a boy band,
76
00:02:50,141 --> 00:02:52,709
but with just one person, yeah.
77
00:02:52,776 --> 00:02:56,147
Yeah,
and he actually is a boy.
78
00:02:56,213 --> 00:02:58,449
Yeah, he looks like he's 11.
79
00:02:58,515 --> 00:03:00,684
[both laugh]
80
00:03:00,751 --> 00:03:01,685
Yeah, check this out,
Butt-Head.
81
00:03:01,752 --> 00:03:03,187
[laughs] Yeah.
82
00:03:03,254 --> 00:03:05,089
Yeah, I mean, yeah, this kid,
he's young, you know?
83
00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:06,257
You know, and he says like, uh,
84
00:03:06,323 --> 00:03:08,192
"Hey, you wanna come back
to my crib?"
85
00:03:08,259 --> 00:03:10,928
He means an actual crib,
you know what I'm saying?
86
00:03:10,995 --> 00:03:12,663
He's young, you know?
87
00:03:12,729 --> 00:03:14,031
[laughs]
88
00:03:14,098 --> 00:03:15,900
You're in rare form today, Beavis.
89
00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:18,469
Yeah, I mean, I don't wanna
say he's young, but, uh,
90
00:03:18,535 --> 00:03:20,204
you know, this chick thinks
he's got wood,
91
00:03:20,271 --> 00:03:22,606
but it's just
his diaper's full, you know?
92
00:03:22,673 --> 00:03:24,808
And he's young,
this kid, you know?
93
00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:28,312
Hey-yo!
[both laugh]
94
00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:31,883
* Nothing between us
but Chapstick ♪
95
00:03:31,949 --> 00:03:35,619
Uh, isn't it, like,
illegal for a girl her age
96
00:03:35,686 --> 00:03:37,754
to be with a kid his age?
97
00:03:37,821 --> 00:03:40,491
[chortles]
- Yeah, yeah, really.
98
00:03:40,557 --> 00:03:43,794
He's a victim.
[laughs]
99
00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:46,063
[chuckles]
100
00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:48,365
He's wearing headphones,
so he doesn't have to listen
101
00:03:48,432 --> 00:03:50,801
to this crap.
102
00:03:50,868 --> 00:03:51,869
Yeah,
they should let us listen
103
00:03:51,936 --> 00:03:53,804
to whatever he's listening to.
104
00:03:53,871 --> 00:03:55,406
They're playing Mozart
105
00:03:55,472 --> 00:03:57,674
to help
with his brain development.
106
00:03:57,741 --> 00:04:00,878
[both laugh]
107
00:04:01,745 --> 00:04:04,248
Yeah, it's not working.
108
00:04:04,315 --> 00:04:07,151
* Between us but Chapstick ♪
109
00:04:07,218 --> 00:04:09,653
"Nothing between us
but Chapstick,"
110
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,722
what's that even mean?
111
00:04:11,788 --> 00:04:13,024
Well,
I'll tell you one thing
112
00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:16,727
that's not between 'em,
pubic hair.
113
00:04:16,793 --> 00:04:19,030
[both laugh]
114
00:04:19,096 --> 00:04:21,798
Uh, come on, Butt-Head.
That's kind of mean.
115
00:04:21,865 --> 00:04:24,668
Uh, I don't care.
116
00:04:24,735 --> 00:04:26,003
He's rich,
117
00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:27,771
and he gets
to score when he's 11.
118
00:04:27,838 --> 00:04:29,073
[chuckles]
119
00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:30,507
He'll be just fine.
120
00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:33,744
[laughs]
121
00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:37,581
Uh, let's go to the future
and see if future chicks have,
122
00:04:37,648 --> 00:04:41,919
like, loosened up any
about wanting to score.
123
00:04:44,055 --> 00:04:46,357
Um, I'm gonna go backwards,
124
00:04:46,423 --> 00:04:48,993
so I don't go too far
into the future.
125
00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:52,096
I don't wanna get, like,
eaten by a robot or something.
126
00:04:52,163 --> 00:04:54,765
Uh, good thinking, Beavis.
127
00:04:54,831 --> 00:04:56,867
- Aah, aah!
- [laughs]
128
00:04:56,934 --> 00:04:58,970
Uh, damn it.
129
00:04:59,036 --> 00:05:00,304
I think I broke my arm,
Butt-Head.
130
00:05:00,371 --> 00:05:01,405
[cracks] Ow.
131
00:05:01,472 --> 00:05:03,274
Nothing to worry about, Beavis.
132
00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:06,010
Let's just go back an hour
to before you broke it.
133
00:05:06,077 --> 00:05:08,545
Oh, yeah, yeah. Ow.
134
00:05:10,347 --> 00:05:12,716
Yeah, I think it feels better
or something.
135
00:05:12,783 --> 00:05:14,451
Yeah. [laughs]
136
00:05:14,518 --> 00:05:15,886
Ow.
137
00:05:15,953 --> 00:05:19,523
Whoa, check it out, Beavis.
Future chicks.
138
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:21,525
I can drive until we get
to Midland if you want.
139
00:05:21,592 --> 00:05:23,594
Uh, hey, future baby.
140
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,129
[laughs]
[arm cracks]
141
00:05:25,196 --> 00:05:27,698
We're from,
like, a bygone era.
142
00:05:27,764 --> 00:05:29,233
We would like
to score with you.
143
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,801
- [laughs]
- In the future.
144
00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:33,170
Oh, my God,
what happened to your arm?
145
00:05:33,237 --> 00:05:35,306
Oh, um,
I'm gonna break it later.
146
00:05:35,372 --> 00:05:36,473
Yeah.
147
00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:39,076
It's really gonna hurt
in an hour.
148
00:05:39,143 --> 00:05:41,412
Whoa, I gotta sit down here.
149
00:05:41,478 --> 00:05:43,680
Damn it, Beavis.
You're messing up my game.
150
00:05:43,747 --> 00:05:46,183
Let's go back in time an hour
and do this again.
151
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,918
And don't screw it up
this time.
152
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:50,021
Okay, okay, yeah.
153
00:05:50,087 --> 00:05:55,092
Now this time let me do all
the talking, dumbass.
154
00:05:55,159 --> 00:05:57,394
Hey, thanks for the coffee, hon.
155
00:06:00,764 --> 00:06:02,233
Now what do we do, Butt-Head?
156
00:06:02,299 --> 00:06:04,035
It's like we went too far back
in time
157
00:06:04,101 --> 00:06:05,969
to when they had boyfriends
or something.
158
00:06:06,037 --> 00:06:08,172
Beavis, mark my words:
159
00:06:08,239 --> 00:06:10,341
we will travel through time
until we find the part
160
00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:12,409
of human history
where we can score.
161
00:06:12,476 --> 00:06:14,211
Oh, yeah, yeah.
162
00:06:14,278 --> 00:06:16,447
[laughs]
Boi-oi-oi--ahh!
163
00:06:20,784 --> 00:06:22,053
We just have to keep going
back in time
164
00:06:22,119 --> 00:06:24,255
until before those chicks met
their boyfriends.
165
00:06:24,321 --> 00:06:28,092
[laughs]
- Um, okay, yeah.
166
00:06:28,159 --> 00:06:31,195
Um, think we're there yet?
167
00:06:31,262 --> 00:06:34,098
Uh, probably. [laughs]
168
00:06:34,165 --> 00:06:38,102
Just a little further
to make sure.
169
00:06:38,169 --> 00:06:41,272
I just wanna be careful
not to go too far back
170
00:06:41,338 --> 00:06:44,241
to, like,
before they were born.
171
00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:47,144
I'm gonna go back in time
to before you were born
172
00:06:47,211 --> 00:06:48,612
and do your mom.
173
00:06:48,679 --> 00:06:49,746
That's not funny, Butt-Head.
174
00:06:49,813 --> 00:06:51,415
Come on. Don't do that.
175
00:06:51,482 --> 00:06:54,251
- [laughs]
- I'm gonna be your dad.
176
00:06:54,318 --> 00:06:55,452
Yeah, shut up!
177
00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:56,653
Come back here!
178
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,255
I'm gonna kick your ass!
179
00:06:58,322 --> 00:07:00,424
Run along, little Beavis.
180
00:07:00,491 --> 00:07:02,859
Your mother and I need
some alone time.
181
00:07:02,926 --> 00:07:04,895
Stop going back in time,
butthole!
182
00:07:04,961 --> 00:07:06,097
Come here!
183
00:07:06,163 --> 00:07:08,432
Whoa. I'm getting dizzy.
184
00:07:08,499 --> 00:07:10,134
Must be the time travel.
185
00:07:10,201 --> 00:07:11,635
I'm gonna kick your ass.
186
00:07:11,702 --> 00:07:13,604
Quit moving around in circles.
187
00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:15,406
Son of a bitch.
- [grunts]
188
00:07:15,472 --> 00:07:18,309
Ow, ow, ow, my arm! Ahh, ahh!
189
00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:21,645
- Uh, damn it.
- [chuckles]
190
00:07:21,712 --> 00:07:25,082
Um, uh, Butt-Head?
191
00:07:25,149 --> 00:07:26,417
Where are we?
192
00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:27,551
Where's that sign?
193
00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:30,354
Uh, it's gone.
194
00:07:30,421 --> 00:07:31,988
[laughs]
195
00:07:32,055 --> 00:07:36,593
Beavis,
we're trapped in the past.
196
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,295
Oh, boy. [laughs]
197
00:07:38,362 --> 00:07:41,098
[light music]
198
00:07:41,165 --> 00:07:43,200
Oh, cool, yeah.
199
00:07:43,267 --> 00:07:45,202
Yeah, Shark Week kicks ass.
200
00:07:45,269 --> 00:07:46,270
[laughs]
201
00:07:46,337 --> 00:07:47,538
It sure does.
202
00:07:47,604 --> 00:07:49,940
[laughs]
203
00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:51,642
You know what
I always wondered?
204
00:07:51,708 --> 00:07:56,079
Where is the shark's butt,
you know?
205
00:07:56,147 --> 00:07:59,150
You just don't see anything
back there, you know?
206
00:07:59,216 --> 00:08:01,518
Well, I'm glad you asked, Beavis.
207
00:08:01,585 --> 00:08:03,654
The bull shark
doesn't have a butt.
208
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,756
It has an anus,
209
00:08:05,822 --> 00:08:09,426
which is located
in the sub-schlongal region.
210
00:08:09,493 --> 00:08:11,662
[laughs]
211
00:08:11,728 --> 00:08:14,398
Just near
the testicular mesiphries.
212
00:08:14,465 --> 00:08:16,533
[chuckles]
213
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,068
Oh, wow.
214
00:08:18,135 --> 00:08:20,937
Wow, that's interesting,
Butt-Head.
215
00:08:21,004 --> 00:08:22,873
How do you know so much
about sharks?
216
00:08:22,939 --> 00:08:26,577
Uh, sometimes
when I'm watching Shark Week,
217
00:08:26,643 --> 00:08:30,147
I, like,
pay attention and stuff.
218
00:08:30,214 --> 00:08:33,384
Like, did you know at one time
75% of the Earth's surface
219
00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:34,818
was covered with sharks?
220
00:08:34,885 --> 00:08:37,654
Whoa, really?
Yeah, I don't know.
221
00:08:37,721 --> 00:08:39,723
That seems like a lot,
Butt-Head.
222
00:08:39,790 --> 00:08:41,192
It's true, Beavis.
223
00:08:41,258 --> 00:08:44,361
And if they ever stop swimming,
they score.
224
00:08:44,428 --> 00:08:46,497
[laughs]
- Really?
225
00:08:46,563 --> 00:08:49,233
I mean,
why do they swim at all?
226
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,067
It is a mystery, Beavis.
227
00:08:51,134 --> 00:08:52,636
We don't know.
228
00:08:52,703 --> 00:08:57,574
Also, a shark can go
like six months without water.
229
00:08:57,641 --> 00:08:59,410
That's amazing.
230
00:08:59,476 --> 00:09:01,245
You know what I don't
understand is, um,
231
00:09:01,312 --> 00:09:03,314
they always have, like,
those little fish
232
00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:05,249
that are, like, following 'em
around, you know?
233
00:09:05,316 --> 00:09:08,185
Like, right on their wings
or whatever.
234
00:09:08,252 --> 00:09:11,154
Their scientific name
is the Beavis Fish.
235
00:09:11,222 --> 00:09:12,889
[laughs]
236
00:09:12,956 --> 00:09:15,426
Also known as the Wuss Fish.
237
00:09:15,492 --> 00:09:16,927
Much like the Land Beavis,
238
00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:19,430
it follows around someone
much cooler than itself.
239
00:09:19,496 --> 00:09:20,597
[laughs]
240
00:09:20,664 --> 00:09:23,767
Shut up, Butt-Head! Come on.
241
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:26,503
This fish has another thing
in common with you, Beavis.
242
00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:31,575
The Beavis Fish's mom is known
as the notorious Slut Fish.
243
00:09:31,642 --> 00:09:33,910
Come on, Butt-Head. Come on.
244
00:09:33,977 --> 00:09:36,847
It has done it
with whales, octopuses,
245
00:09:36,913 --> 00:09:41,252
penguins, drowning dudes,
the bottom of a boat,
246
00:09:41,318 --> 00:09:42,519
you name it.
247
00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:44,821
If it swims, she'll do it.
248
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,023
Come on, Butt-Head.
That's enough.
249
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:50,694
Uh, okay, just one more.
[chuckles]
250
00:09:50,761 --> 00:09:52,763
No, Butt-Head. Come on.
251
00:09:52,829 --> 00:09:54,365
You're gonna thank me, Beavis.
252
00:09:54,431 --> 00:09:55,699
It's a good one.
253
00:09:55,766 --> 00:09:56,800
Okay, okay, okay.
254
00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:59,202
One more and that's all.
255
00:09:59,270 --> 00:10:02,706
She turned the coral reef
into the oral reef.
256
00:10:02,773 --> 00:10:05,909
[both laugh]
257
00:10:06,777 --> 00:10:07,944
Yeah, yeah.
258
00:10:08,011 --> 00:10:10,146
I guess you were right,
Butt-Head.
259
00:10:10,213 --> 00:10:11,548
[both laugh]
260
00:10:11,615 --> 00:10:14,084
Oral reef. [laughs]
261
00:10:15,586 --> 00:10:18,655
So, like, um, where's the bus?
262
00:10:18,722 --> 00:10:21,458
I think the bus
hasn't been invented yet.
263
00:10:21,525 --> 00:10:23,226
[both laugh]
- Damn it.
264
00:10:23,294 --> 00:10:24,495
That sucks.
265
00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:25,862
How are we gonna get home?
266
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,332
Our home is gone, dumbass.
267
00:10:28,399 --> 00:10:31,201
I think we went back
like a hundred years
268
00:10:31,268 --> 00:10:32,936
to caveman times.
269
00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:37,173
Yeah, well, um, let's go find
a cave to live in.
270
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,009
Maybe one that has a TV
or something.
271
00:10:39,075 --> 00:10:40,110
[laughs]
272
00:10:40,176 --> 00:10:43,113
I'm gonna score
with a gorilla.
273
00:10:43,179 --> 00:10:46,350
And I'm gonna invent fire, yeah.
274
00:10:46,417 --> 00:10:48,785
I'm gonna score
with that long-time-ago chick
275
00:10:48,852 --> 00:10:50,654
with the leaf on her thingy.
276
00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:53,156
Um, can I score
with the gorilla then?
277
00:10:53,223 --> 00:10:54,157
[laughs]
278
00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:56,460
Uh, no.
279
00:10:56,527 --> 00:10:58,595
I get both.
280
00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:00,864
Damn it. That sucks.
281
00:11:00,931 --> 00:11:02,866
I know it's late,
282
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:06,837
but we can't leave
until everyone is on the bus.
283
00:11:06,903 --> 00:11:10,106
Has anyone seen Beavis
and Butt-Head?
284
00:11:10,173 --> 00:11:13,710
No one has seen Beavis
and Butt-Head?
285
00:11:13,777 --> 00:11:17,314
Not one person?
286
00:11:17,381 --> 00:11:19,416
Come on, guys. Think.
287
00:11:19,483 --> 00:11:23,320
Not one person's seen
Beavis and Butt-Head?
288
00:11:23,387 --> 00:11:26,390
[rock music]
289
00:11:26,457 --> 00:11:33,296
♪ ♪
290
00:11:48,379 --> 00:11:50,313
Chirp.
20061
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