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1
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♪ MTV ♪
2
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[both chuckling]
3
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[bluesy rock music]
4
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♪ ♪
5
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I'm gonna head to the barber
to get my ears lowered,
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so I need you boys to sign
for a couple two packages
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I got comin' from the Amazon.
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[chuckles]
Package.
9
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[both chuckling]
10
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,910
They're a birthday present
for Marcie
11
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and my new hearing aid.
12
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,870
That one's real important now
13
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,656
because I can't hear nothing
without it.
14
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:52,008
Uh, did you hear me
when I called you a butthole?
15
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,575
Well, you're welcome.
16
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I knew I could count on you.
17
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[laughs]
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What are we supposed to do
with these things again?
19
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Uh...
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maybe we'll remember
if we open 'em.
21
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[grunts]
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It's, like, some kind of earbud
that sucks.
23
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Let's throw them
in the garbage.
24
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It's the least we can do.
25
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Just gonna open this here.
26
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Whoa.
Look, Beavis.
27
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Yeah, yeah.
It's amazing.
28
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Let's break it.
[chuckles]
29
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Yeah, break it.
30
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There'll be glass everywhere.
31
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- Beavis, wait.
- Huh?
32
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Yes, we could smash
this crystal thingy
33
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in the street,
34
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and yes, it would be cool,
35
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but we can do better than that,
and we must.
36
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Let's throw it off the roof.
37
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[both laugh]
- Yeah. Yeah.
38
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,652
Jesus Christ
of the Lord God on high,
39
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thank you for making me
Post Malone.
40
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[chuckles]
41
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Thank you for making me rich
and have lots of chicks too.
42
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[chuckling]
Amen.
43
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[chuckling]
44
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♪ ♪
45
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Whoa, oh, he doesn't have
any armor on his schlong.
46
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It's just wide open,
and his testes too.
47
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Boy, he just doesn't care
about his wiener.
48
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[chuckling]
49
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,899
Yeah, yeah,
an evil rises in Mordor,
50
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but Post Malone shall not wear
any armor on his schlong!
51
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♪ Even when I tried ♪
52
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♪ ♪
53
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♪ You don't believe it ♪
54
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Oh, check it out, Butt-Head,
she doesn't have a mouth.
55
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[chuckles]
Yeah.
56
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He finally found a chick
57
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who can't tell him
his music sucks.
58
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Shut up, Butt-Head.
I kind of like it.
59
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He's just kind of lazy.
[chuckles]
60
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:09,145
[humming melody]
61
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♪ I don't believe it ♪
62
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♪ ♪
63
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- Yeah, he looks lazy.
- Yeah, that's cool.
64
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[chuckles]
65
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♪ So I don't
take the blame ♪
66
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Is he chewing tobacco?
[chuckles]
67
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,419
No, he's got, like,
a bunch of tattoos
68
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on the inside of his mouth,
69
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,857
and they make his cheeks
all puffy.
70
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[chuckles]
- Yeah, he looks cool.
71
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[chuckles]
- Whoa.
72
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She grew her on noose
so she could kill herself
73
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'cause he sucks.
- Shut up, Butt-Head.
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[chuckles]
This kicks ass.
75
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[chuckles]
- Well, the noose didn't work.
76
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,614
I guess
I'd better drown myself.
77
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,573
Shut up, Butt-Head.
78
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,358
She just needs to go wash
her hair for Post Malone,
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you know, 'cause people
keep stepping on it.
80
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♪ ♪
81
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Come on, butthole.
Hurry up.
82
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I don't know, Butt-Head.
83
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,026
I'm kind of afraid of heights.
84
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:06,158
Quit being such a wuss, Beavis.
85
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,030
Come on.
[chuckles]
86
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Okay.
87
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:13,035
[laughs]
88
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Don't look down.
89
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Whoa.
Whoa, that's a long ways.
90
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Hurry the hell up, buttwipe.
91
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[grunting]
92
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[panting]
93
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Oh, boy.
94
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,748
Uh, where's the bowl?
95
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:33,664
Um, it was, like, too hard
to climb
96
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,405
and bring it up here
at the same time,
97
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,799
so I decided to climb first
98
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:39,279
and then bring it up here.
99
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You know what I'm saying?
- Damn it, Beavis.
100
00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:43,326
The bowl was the whole reason
I came up here.
101
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Now get down there and get it.
102
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I don't know, Butt-Head.
103
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It's kind of scary to try--
104
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Aah!
105
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Uh, hmm.
106
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How are we gonna get down,
Butt-Head?
107
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,302
[both laugh]
108
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,391
Get down.
[laughs]
109
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:05,609
Oh, boy.
[both chuckle]
110
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,963
Uh, someone's gotta put
the ladder back up,
111
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:15,750
so, Beavis, you're gonna have
to jump off the roof.
112
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[laughs]
113
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I don't know, Butt-Head.
114
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We're kind of really far
off the ground.
115
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:24,846
Uh, I don't care.
116
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Maybe you could jump.
117
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:30,634
Okay, I've got an idea, Beavis.
118
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,723
If you take,
like, a running start,
119
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,204
you can jump into that tree
and climb down.
120
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,119
That looks
kind of far though.
121
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,034
You can do it, Beavis.
122
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,079
I believe in you.
[laughs]
123
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So hurry up, nutsack.
124
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:52,090
Uh, well, I'm--oh, boy.
125
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:54,223
I guess I could give it a try.
126
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,399
I don't know, Butt-Head.
127
00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:59,446
Run as fast as you can, Beavis.
128
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,404
Okay, here goes.
[laughs]
129
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:04,276
Don't look down.
[chuckles]
130
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,409
Aah!
131
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,019
Butt-Head, help!
132
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,979
Uh, help you jump down?
133
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,285
No.
No, no!
134
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,245
[grunts]
No, no!
135
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,465
Aah!
I don't wanna fall!
136
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:19,553
Ow! That hurt.
- Grow up, Beavis.
137
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,728
Aah! No!
138
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,034
Everything isn't
always about you.
139
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:25,907
Aah!
Ow.
140
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,778
[groans]
Ow.
141
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,171
It's okay.
It's okay.
142
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,042
I'm all right.
143
00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:33,044
I don't wanna be late
for kindergarten.
144
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:34,872
Circle time sucks.
145
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,135
[chuckles]
Whoa.
146
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,311
Whoa, that's a cool bowl.
147
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,052
Never seen anything
like that before.
148
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:43,315
Wow.
I'll be damned.
149
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,795
Get the ladder, Beavis.
150
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:47,711
Oh, hey.
Who are you?
151
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:50,279
I'm Butt-Head, assface.
152
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:53,369
Um, which one of those
is your name
153
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:56,285
and which one
is what you're calling me?
154
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:59,593
Just get the ladder, dumbass.
155
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,333
What's a ladder?
156
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,988
It's that thing over there
that's a ladder.
157
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,381
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
158
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,514
Thanks, assface.
159
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,820
Yeah, here it is. Yeah.
160
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,301
Now put it against the house
so I can climb down.
161
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:15,478
Okay.
Okay, here we go, yeah.
162
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:16,871
[grunts]
163
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,568
[glass shatters]
164
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:19,613
[ladder clangs]
165
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,964
Finally, butthole.
166
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:24,531
Oh, hey, assface.
167
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:25,793
[laughs]
How's it going?
168
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,535
You dumbass.
What are you doing up here?
169
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,667
I climbed up this thing.
170
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,409
It's called a ladder.
[chuckles]
171
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:36,586
Wait a second.
It was just there.
172
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:40,503
Uh...
[laughs]
173
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,334
[sighs]
Dangnabbit.
174
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,423
My packages didn't come.
175
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:50,426
Now I don't have
my GD hearing aid.
176
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,777
I can't hear a goddamn thing.
177
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:56,737
Uh, help?
[laughs]
178
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,653
Yeah, old guy!
Help us, yeah.
179
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,872
- Hey.
- It looks like I forgot to...
180
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,918
- Old guy!
- Put this ladder in the shed.
181
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,920
- Old man.
- That's a whoopsie-daisy.
182
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,489
Uh, hey, old guy!
Get us down from here!
183
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,099
- Help.
- There we go.
184
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,187
Look up, dumbass.
185
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:14,232
Like, help!
186
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,799
Help or something!
- Oh.
187
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,715
Marie's birthday present
came at least.
188
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:21,109
Nice of them
to deliver it back here
189
00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:22,414
where the thieves won't get it.
190
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,721
both: Hey.
- Hey, hey.
191
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:27,419
Old guy.
192
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,945
Uh, old guy?
[laughs]
193
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:37,255
Are we gonna be up here
forever, Butt-Head?
194
00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:40,650
Uh, I don't know.
195
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,652
Yeah, it's pretty cool, yeah.
196
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:47,570
The moon sucks.
[laughs]
197
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,401
It sure does, yeah.
[chuckles]
13512
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