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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Hello, I'm Gene Sing.
I have a reservation.
3
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:13,013
Wonderful. I see we have
you here for one night.
4
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,319
- Yes.
- So, where are you guys coming from?
5
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,929
Guys?
6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,583
Uh, you can see me?
7
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:21,391
I just mean, uh, you and your luggage,
8
00:00:21,392 --> 00:00:23,045
because here at Woodstone Mansion,
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we treat your bags like people.
10
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Oh, that's nice, I guess.
11
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Oh, my. Ooh-wee!
12
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,292
Who's this tall drink of water?
13
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Ma'am.
14
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Biscuits and gravy, you're a ghost.
15
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Oh, my God. How's my hat?
16
00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:38,908
- Still small and ugly.
- Shut up, Thor.
17
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I'm sorry, uh, this lady can see us?
18
00:00:41,845 --> 00:00:42,933
Yeah, yeah, she fell down the stairs
19
00:00:43,064 --> 00:00:44,587
and hit her head and
now she can see ghosts.
20
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She is freak, but has
good attitude about it.
21
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How is it we've never seen you before?
22
00:00:48,286 --> 00:00:49,722
Did you just expire on the property?
23
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I am a poltergeist.
24
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Which is a ghost attached to
a person instead of a place.
25
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- Well, now.
- You're kidding me.
26
00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,557
Basically, wherever Gene goes, I go.
27
00:00:58,688 --> 00:01:00,733
- Who's Gene?
- Sam, we're gonna need a minute,
28
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if you could just stall for a bit.
29
00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:04,389
The credit card machine
looks like it didn't work,
30
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:05,869
so I will just, um,
31
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need you to fill out this form.
32
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So, I'm Alberta Haynes. Jazz singer.
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Murder victim. I enjoy
long moonlit strolls,
34
00:01:14,704 --> 00:01:16,271
right up to the
boundary of the property.
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Pleasure to meet you.
The name's Saul Henry.
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The Saul Henry who used to
play for the Negro Leagues?
37
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I remember reading
about you in the papers.
38
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Y'all, he played shortstop for
the Delaware Horseshoe Crabs.
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Until one day,
40
00:01:29,197 --> 00:01:31,416
we were up against
the Connecticut Quahogs
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and I was hit in the head by a yakker.
42
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And it was lights out!
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- Oh!
- For ol' Saul Henry.
44
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Here you go.
45
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Samantha, keep stalling.
46
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Oh, we also ask our
customers to fill out
47
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one of these comment cards.
48
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Before my stay?
49
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Yeah, 'cause then we have
a baseline to compare it to
50
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,959
when you fill the other one
out at the end of your stay.
51
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:55,440
So, what's it like being
attached to a person?
52
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Oh, it's not bad.
53
00:01:56,876 --> 00:01:59,880
You see, Gene here's a dentist
who likes to travel the world
54
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and take beautiful photographs.
55
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But of all the exotic
locales I've been to,
56
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why, you're the most breathtaking sight
57
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I've ever seen.
58
00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,554
Wow, are we in Nebraska?
'Cause that was corny.
59
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Just know when you're beat, Peter.
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Uh, here's your key.
61
00:02:14,992 --> 00:02:16,777
But before you leave, I would love
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to just talk to you a little bit
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about the woodwork here in the lobby.
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You know what? I'm good.
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- Thanks.
- And we're off.
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Oh!
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Well, uh,
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enjoy your visit.
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You too. Damn it. Why did I say that?
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Uh... come up to my room
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and smell a glass of wine later.
72
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Is very nice invitation,
Thor think about it.
73
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Shut up. I'll be there.
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So, with your nuptials fast approaching,
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we've got to start
nailing down some details.
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00:02:48,025 --> 00:02:49,897
We've got so much to
tell Samantha to do.
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00:02:50,027 --> 00:02:51,724
Well, I was actually
thinking it might be fun
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to have a theme for the wedding.
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Ooh, a theme could be fun.
80
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Yes, yes, perhaps something
like "enchanted garden"
81
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or "springtime in Paris"?
82
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Mm. Actually, I was thinking...
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"dinosaurs."
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- Dinosaurs?
- I... I mean, unless it's overdone.
85
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I mean, I will admit
that I'm not up to date
86
00:03:07,784 --> 00:03:08,959
on the latest wedding trends.
87
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Isaac, I love that
you have such passions,
88
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but this new dinosaur fixation...
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it's really just your hobby.
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And the wedding, well,
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00:03:18,751 --> 00:03:20,710
it really should be about both of us.
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As a wedding planner, it is
my job to remain impartial.
93
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However, this idea is so terrible,
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I really must side with Nigel.
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Well, we will be walking down the aisle
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to the Jurassic Park theme,
and that is nonnegotiable.
97
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How's the planning
going? I can't tell you
98
00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:34,028
how excited I am to attend this wedding.
99
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I already know exactly
what I'm gonna wear.
100
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You've already made that joke, Peter.
101
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Comedy gets better with repetition.
102
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Next up on the agenda: our stag do's.
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I believe you call
them bachelor parties.
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Mine is tonight.
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I'm here if you need any guidance.
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I know we can't get drunk
107
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or drive around Atlantic
City in a stretch Escalade,
108
00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:54,483
but we can still party. Come on!
109
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I went to a travel agent
convention in Atlantic City.
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The battle for room
upgrades was intense,
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let me tell you.
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Don't you worry, Trevor.
113
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We Brits know how to have fun.
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Which is why for my party, we
shall celebrate with toasts,
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roasts, and if things get really wild,
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an off-color limerick.
117
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Oh! That sounds terrible.
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Isaac, please tell me you
have something better planned.
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Mine will be a wild,
ribald night of reciting
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00:04:18,332 --> 00:04:20,204
William Shakespeare's... wait for it...
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00:04:20,335 --> 00:04:21,510
sonnets.
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You two are made for each other.
123
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- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
124
00:04:24,687 --> 00:04:26,645
Well, I am excited to attend both.
125
00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:28,212
I already have the
perfect outfit for each.
126
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- It's still not funny.
- Just wait.
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I can't believe I'm here
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with the Saul Henry.
129
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And sleeping Gene.
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00:04:38,309 --> 00:04:40,311
Well, unfortunately,
uh, Gene didn't order
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- any wine for us to smell.
- Child, that's all right.
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00:04:43,271 --> 00:04:44,402
I'm more of a Sazerac
kind of girl myself.
133
00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:46,752
Best one I ever had was
at Sunny's Sunshine Club.
134
00:04:46,883 --> 00:04:48,972
What? I used to headline Sunny's.
135
00:04:49,103 --> 00:04:50,799
- What?
- Yeah.
136
00:04:50,931 --> 00:04:52,802
Say, did you know Tommy Two Times?
137
00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:54,343
He used to work the door back in '23.
138
00:04:54,373 --> 00:04:57,024
Know him? That fool still owed
me five dollars when I died.
139
00:04:57,154 --> 00:04:58,634
Ooh, I get mad just thinking about it.
140
00:04:58,764 --> 00:04:59,983
Well, you know something,
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00:05:00,114 --> 00:05:01,332
you're kind of cute when you're mad.
142
00:05:01,463 --> 00:05:03,204
- Oh, you think so?
- Mm-hmm.
143
00:05:04,814 --> 00:05:07,121
Oh! Mm...
144
00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:08,557
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
145
00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:09,688
Oh, that's his prostate.
146
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:11,212
- Oh.
- But don't worry,
147
00:05:11,342 --> 00:05:12,648
we'll have a solid 45
minutes when I get back.
148
00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:16,347
Hoo-wee.
149
00:05:16,478 --> 00:05:18,697
That was the best limerick yet.
150
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Oh, Peter, you do amuse me.
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00:05:21,483 --> 00:05:22,875
This is the worst bachelor
party I've ever been to,
152
00:05:23,006 --> 00:05:24,660
and I was at one where a flaming shot
153
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set the groom's beard on fire.
154
00:05:26,662 --> 00:05:30,274
I once saw the city of
Charleston go up in flames.
155
00:05:33,886 --> 00:05:36,889
Guys, a bachelor party is
supposed to be a depraved affair
156
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full of alcohol, drugs and lap dances.
157
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Lap dances?
158
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A lap dance is
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when someone pretending
to be working their way
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00:05:44,462 --> 00:05:46,334
through college sits on your lap
161
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and grinds their junk
up against your junk.
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I think I could give it a try...
163
00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:54,255
Baxter, a little accompaniment?
164
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Ooh, ooh...
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Yes. Oh, my.
166
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:05,353
Oh, my.
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00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:06,483
Oh!
168
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,185
And how do we feel about Nigel
getting grinded on by his ex?
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Thor appreciate the artistry,
170
00:06:13,535 --> 00:06:18,061
but feel Isaac might not be so amused.
171
00:06:18,192 --> 00:06:20,411
I'm making my way through university.
172
00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:22,283
Oh, yes, you are.
173
00:06:24,459 --> 00:06:26,853
So, has anyone spoken to Alberta?
174
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,790
She was supposed to hang
out with Saul last night.
175
00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:30,900
Right. The clinger that's
attached to the dentist
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00:06:31,031 --> 00:06:33,120
in the Maple Suite? So creepy.
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00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,774
All I'll say is, Alberta
missed our morning walk.
178
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Oh! I wonder if they hooked up.
179
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Good morning.
180
00:06:39,474 --> 00:06:42,346
Oh, if you fools are waiting
around for juicy details,
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00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:43,565
you can forget it,
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00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,914
'cause I am telling you nothing.
183
00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:46,959
No. No, no, no. We would never.
184
00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:48,961
Good. 'Cause what happened
between me and Saul
185
00:06:49,092 --> 00:06:50,224
up in that room is
none of your business.
186
00:06:50,354 --> 00:06:53,879
And I'm talking about all three times.
187
00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:56,491
Nice one, Alberta!
188
00:06:56,621 --> 00:06:58,232
They did it, Jay.
189
00:06:58,362 --> 00:07:00,843
Guy comes to the Hudson
Valley, maybe to see some birds.
190
00:07:00,973 --> 00:07:03,672
Instead, he finds himself
an unknowing participant
191
00:07:03,802 --> 00:07:05,413
in an interdimensional threesome.
192
00:07:05,543 --> 00:07:06,849
But I got to admit, though,
193
00:07:06,979 --> 00:07:09,243
as nice as the physical element was,
194
00:07:09,373 --> 00:07:11,854
I actually kind of like Saul.
195
00:07:11,984 --> 00:07:13,334
I'll be sad to see him go.
196
00:07:13,464 --> 00:07:16,424
- Bertie.
- Alberta. She said she's gonna be sad
197
00:07:16,554 --> 00:07:18,208
to see him go. Hey.
198
00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:19,818
Okay, so, checking out.
199
00:07:19,949 --> 00:07:20,950
Okay.
200
00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:23,126
- And how was your night?
- Good.
201
00:07:23,257 --> 00:07:25,694
Although there was a rather loud
202
00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:27,652
humming sound in the room.
203
00:07:27,783 --> 00:07:30,220
My bad. But also your bad.
204
00:07:31,874 --> 00:07:33,832
Oh, I wish you weren't leaving.
205
00:07:33,963 --> 00:07:37,053
Uh... Oh. Oh, wow, Gene.
206
00:07:37,184 --> 00:07:40,665
It says here that you are
actually our 1,000th customer.
207
00:07:40,796 --> 00:07:41,850
Not even close.
208
00:07:41,851 --> 00:07:44,495
And as such, you're
entitled to extend your stay
209
00:07:44,626 --> 00:07:46,149
- by an extra night, free of charge.
- Oh.
210
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,195
Wow, tempting, but, um, no, thank you.
211
00:07:48,325 --> 00:07:49,718
I think I have to get back to Philly.
212
00:07:49,847 --> 00:07:51,415
- I'll help you with your bags.
- Great.
213
00:07:51,546 --> 00:07:54,157
- Uh, thanks a lot, folks. Take care.
- Uh-huh.
214
00:07:54,288 --> 00:07:55,941
Ooh! Oh, ooh, ooh...
215
00:07:57,204 --> 00:07:59,119
Ugh, it's painful when
you're dating someone
216
00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:00,859
who's attached to something.
217
00:08:00,990 --> 00:08:02,861
As I know, because of the car ghost.
218
00:08:02,992 --> 00:08:05,951
You know, Jessica.
Who was my girlfriend.
219
00:08:06,082 --> 00:08:07,475
The point is I had a girlfriend.
220
00:08:07,605 --> 00:08:10,217
That was a long walk, Sasappis.
221
00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:15,265
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
222
00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:16,962
I wish we had more time together.
223
00:08:17,093 --> 00:08:18,964
Actually, there is another way.
224
00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:20,618
Now, it's extremely painful,
225
00:08:20,749 --> 00:08:23,143
but if I can focus hard enough,
226
00:08:23,273 --> 00:08:25,884
I can actually sort of jerk my body off
227
00:08:26,015 --> 00:08:27,538
of one host and onto another.
228
00:08:27,669 --> 00:08:28,669
You'd do that for me?
229
00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:30,193
Anything for you.
230
00:08:31,629 --> 00:08:32,804
Hey, thanks again for everything.
231
00:08:32,934 --> 00:08:35,067
Thank you.
232
00:08:35,198 --> 00:08:37,809
Mean Gene!
233
00:08:42,073 --> 00:08:44,076
Oh!
234
00:08:47,732 --> 00:08:49,691
Come on, now!
235
00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:53,738
That Gene is a nice guy.
236
00:08:53,869 --> 00:08:55,131
- Uh, Jay?
- Good news, y'all.
237
00:08:55,262 --> 00:08:57,525
Saul jerked himself off onto Jay.
238
00:08:57,655 --> 00:08:58,787
I'm staying.
239
00:08:58,917 --> 00:08:59,918
I mean, the poor
schnook doesn't even know
240
00:09:00,049 --> 00:09:01,485
there's a ghost attached to him.
241
00:09:01,616 --> 00:09:03,574
Saul is now attached to you.
242
00:09:03,705 --> 00:09:05,446
Oh, come on.
243
00:09:05,576 --> 00:09:06,969
Do we shower in the
morning or the night?
244
00:09:07,099 --> 00:09:09,972
You know what? Saul loves a surprise.
245
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,805
I don't know what Thor's talking about.
246
00:09:16,935 --> 00:09:18,372
I rather like your hat.
247
00:09:18,502 --> 00:09:20,330
You little charmer.
248
00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:22,245
Yeah, but I like the
woman underneath even more.
249
00:09:22,376 --> 00:09:23,377
- Oh.
- Mm.
250
00:09:25,379 --> 00:09:26,467
I'm sorry.
251
00:09:26,597 --> 00:09:27,729
Sam.
252
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,470
Do you really need to be here?
253
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,688
It's my room.
254
00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:31,994
What's happening?
255
00:09:32,124 --> 00:09:33,430
What did Saul say?
256
00:09:33,561 --> 00:09:34,997
Oh, I was talking to Alberta.
257
00:09:35,127 --> 00:09:36,259
Alberta's in here, too?
258
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:37,826
She's not attached to anyone.
259
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:39,044
I hate this.
260
00:09:39,175 --> 00:09:40,742
She's hanging out with Saul.
261
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:41,917
It's just...
262
00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:43,310
it's a little hard for me and Saul
263
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,356
to express ourselves
physically with you right there.
264
00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:48,532
Yeah, I mean Jay's one
thing. He needs to be here.
265
00:09:48,663 --> 00:09:50,273
But you, well...
266
00:09:50,404 --> 00:09:51,753
You know, that's just weird.
267
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:55,757
Uh, okay, I mean, I guess
I could go downstairs
268
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,325
and just maybe catch up on some emails.
269
00:09:58,455 --> 00:10:01,110
Wait, what? Please tell me
you're taking Alberta with you.
270
00:10:01,241 --> 00:10:03,330
I'm taking Alberta with me.
271
00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:04,460
Really?
272
00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:05,897
Jay, what do you want me to say here?
273
00:10:06,028 --> 00:10:07,638
Nope. Mm-mm.
274
00:10:07,769 --> 00:10:09,205
I'm not gonna lie here while two ghosts
275
00:10:09,336 --> 00:10:10,336
canoodle on top of me,
276
00:10:10,424 --> 00:10:11,903
so I'm gonna go make some tea.
277
00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,079
You talk to Alberta
and you figure this out.
278
00:10:14,210 --> 00:10:15,298
Let's go, Saul.
279
00:10:15,429 --> 00:10:16,952
He didn't have to say that,
280
00:10:16,982 --> 00:10:18,039
but I appreciate the warning.
281
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,085
I'll see you later.
282
00:10:20,216 --> 00:10:22,523
Okay, when they get
back, you tell Jay I left.
283
00:10:22,653 --> 00:10:25,569
Then, when he falls asleep,
you make yourself scarce.
284
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,528
And don't worry... I'll keep
the humming to a minimum.
285
00:10:27,658 --> 00:10:30,400
Look, I'm excited for you,
but this isn't sustainable.
286
00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:33,403
Sam, it's been a long
time since I've met a ghost
287
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:34,926
that I'm interested in.
288
00:10:35,057 --> 00:10:37,538
This is a desert, and I'm parched,
289
00:10:37,668 --> 00:10:40,715
and in walks this tall drink of water.
290
00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:42,456
Do you really want to deny me that?
291
00:10:46,503 --> 00:10:48,505
We got to tell Isaac about this, right?
292
00:10:48,636 --> 00:10:49,941
I mean, getting a lap
dance is one thing,
293
00:10:50,072 --> 00:10:51,160
but getting a lap dance from your ex?
294
00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:52,944
I mean, that's just naughty.
295
00:10:53,075 --> 00:10:54,598
Hey, what happens at a bachelor party
296
00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:55,730
stays at a bachelor party.
297
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:57,079
It's a rule, Pete.
298
00:10:57,209 --> 00:10:58,863
Well, I do love following rules.
299
00:10:58,994 --> 00:10:59,995
So?
300
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:01,953
How was the bachelor party, hmm?
301
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,825
I trust the limericks
302
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:07,176
were sufficiently ribald?
303
00:11:07,307 --> 00:11:08,525
Nigel got a lap dance from Jenkins!
304
00:11:08,656 --> 00:11:10,092
- Pete!
- Oh, sorry.
305
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,182
Uh, uh, what is a lap dance?
306
00:11:13,313 --> 00:11:14,314
- Well, it's...
- Lap dance is when
307
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:16,185
someone working their way through school
308
00:11:16,316 --> 00:11:19,841
grinds their loins against
someone else's loins.
309
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,321
That's pretty good, actually.
310
00:11:21,451 --> 00:11:22,757
Uh-oh.
311
00:11:22,887 --> 00:11:24,454
I hope you boys aren't
312
00:11:24,585 --> 00:11:27,936
recounting any of the racier
limericks from last night.
313
00:11:28,066 --> 00:11:32,201
Because that would be a real stag don't.
314
00:11:32,332 --> 00:11:35,073
What exactly happened last
night between you and Jenkins?
315
00:11:35,204 --> 00:11:36,771
It was all innocent.
316
00:11:36,901 --> 00:11:39,121
Just a bit of stag do fun. In fact,
317
00:11:39,251 --> 00:11:41,471
you should get a lap dance
at your party tonight.
318
00:11:41,602 --> 00:11:44,256
No, thank you. I don't
want Jenkins in my lap.
319
00:11:44,387 --> 00:11:45,562
It doesn't have to be Jenkins.
320
00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:48,870
What if we ask Sam to
get you a real stripper?
321
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,175
Do they make house calls?
322
00:11:50,305 --> 00:11:52,047
Pete, you're adorable.
323
00:11:52,177 --> 00:11:53,831
That's a splendid idea.
324
00:11:53,962 --> 00:11:55,703
Then you can see it was all in good fun.
325
00:11:55,833 --> 00:11:56,834
Oh, hey, Sam,
326
00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:58,227
we need you to hire a stripper
327
00:11:58,358 --> 00:12:00,011
for Isaac's bachelor party tonight.
328
00:12:00,142 --> 00:12:02,231
- Okay.
- Really? That worked?
329
00:12:02,362 --> 00:12:03,406
There's a lot weirder stuff happening.
330
00:12:03,537 --> 00:12:05,234
You caught me on a good week.
331
00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:08,759
Jay.
332
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:11,327
- Why are you whispering?
- Shh, shh, shh. Saul's asleep.
333
00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:12,633
Is it 'cause they were
doing it all night?
334
00:12:12,763 --> 00:12:14,069
Probably.
335
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:15,810
I can't live like this, Sam.
336
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:17,986
The thing is, Alberta's
been in a desert.
337
00:12:18,116 --> 00:12:19,727
What? What does that mean?
338
00:12:19,857 --> 00:12:21,816
I just think we need to
consider her feelings here.
339
00:12:21,946 --> 00:12:23,208
What about my feelings?
340
00:12:23,339 --> 00:12:25,210
I'm a person, too, Sam.
341
00:12:25,341 --> 00:12:27,212
What if we just gave
her, like, another month?
342
00:12:27,343 --> 00:12:28,910
Are you out of your mind?
343
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,999
This is nuts, Sam.
344
00:12:31,129 --> 00:12:32,435
Don't raise your voice at me.
345
00:12:32,566 --> 00:12:34,568
I can't raise my
voice, that's the point.
346
00:12:34,698 --> 00:12:36,265
I should be the priority.
347
00:12:36,396 --> 00:12:38,093
I understand Alberta's
situation, but I got a guy
348
00:12:38,223 --> 00:12:39,616
following me into the shower.
349
00:12:39,747 --> 00:12:42,097
- Shh...
- Into the bathroom.
350
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:45,100
It's deeply, deeply weird.
351
00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:47,145
Okay, fine, it is weird.
352
00:12:47,276 --> 00:12:49,060
It's not fair to you.
353
00:12:49,191 --> 00:12:50,497
I think we should just insist
354
00:12:50,627 --> 00:12:51,976
that Saul jerks off onto someone else.
355
00:12:52,107 --> 00:12:53,107
What?
356
00:12:53,108 --> 00:12:55,196
That's what they call it when
they move to another host.
357
00:12:55,197 --> 00:12:58,243
Why not just say that?
358
00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:02,073
So, you want me to dance
for this empty chair?
359
00:13:02,204 --> 00:13:03,553
Yeah, but if you could pretend
360
00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:05,425
- that there's somebody in it?
- Right.
361
00:13:05,455 --> 00:13:06,681
- See, the thing is...
- You don't have to explain.
362
00:13:06,682 --> 00:13:07,782
That's what the money's for.
363
00:13:09,004 --> 00:13:11,126
Hey, don't "tee-hee" at him.
364
00:13:11,156 --> 00:13:12,169
That's Isaac's stripper.
365
00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:13,607
It's fine.
366
00:13:13,737 --> 00:13:17,045
This is all rather silly, to be honest.
367
00:13:23,007 --> 00:13:24,052
♪ Yeah ♪
368
00:13:25,575 --> 00:13:26,620
♪ Uh-huh ♪
369
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:30,362
♪ So seductive ♪
370
00:13:30,493 --> 00:13:32,713
♪ I take you to the candy shop ♪
371
00:13:32,843 --> 00:13:34,062
♪ I let you lick the lollipop... ♪
372
00:13:34,192 --> 00:13:35,367
This supposed to be some sort of
373
00:13:35,498 --> 00:13:37,631
peak male specimen?
374
00:13:37,761 --> 00:13:39,633
I mean, he's okay, but...
375
00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:40,982
Oh, my gods.
376
00:13:43,071 --> 00:13:44,594
What are all of those?
377
00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:46,291
I had those the summer I caught mono.
378
00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:48,250
Oh, if only I could have died then.
379
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:50,165
That is a cute stuffie.
380
00:13:50,295 --> 00:13:53,255
Oh, uh, yeah, some kid
left their T. Rex here.
381
00:13:53,385 --> 00:13:55,605
Actually, that's not a T.
Rex. That's a Dilophosaurus.
382
00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:58,129
- Uh, a what?
- A Dilophosaurus.
383
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:00,131
It was a fast-moving
carnivore that roamed
384
00:14:00,262 --> 00:14:01,350
during the early Jurassic period.
385
00:14:01,481 --> 00:14:03,787
He knows about dinosaurs?
386
00:14:03,918 --> 00:14:05,615
It's like that movie Weird Science.
387
00:14:05,746 --> 00:14:08,052
This guy was made in a lab for Isaac.
388
00:14:08,183 --> 00:14:10,185
Um, Samantha, could you ask him
389
00:14:10,315 --> 00:14:12,100
to roar like a Dilophosaurus?
390
00:14:13,362 --> 00:14:14,972
It's my party, and I'm the bachelor.
391
00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:18,454
Would you maybe roar
like a Dilophosaurus?
392
00:14:18,585 --> 00:14:19,586
Actually, uh...
393
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:23,590
... we don't really know
if Dilophosauruses roared.
394
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,896
Some scientists say it was
more like a series of clicks,
395
00:14:26,027 --> 00:14:29,117
like...
396
00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:30,771
♪ Not in your hand, ha-ha ♪
♪ I take you to the candy shop ♪
397
00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:33,817
♪ I let you lick the lollipop... ♪
398
00:14:33,948 --> 00:14:36,733
I love lap dances!
399
00:14:36,864 --> 00:14:38,387
♪ Keep goin' until you hit the spot. ♪
400
00:14:38,618 --> 00:14:40,737
You've traveled a lot
of places with Gene.
401
00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:42,173
What was your favorite?
402
00:14:42,304 --> 00:14:44,436
I guess I'd have to say Italy.
403
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,743
Yeah, there was this small little town
404
00:14:46,874 --> 00:14:48,876
in the mountains, right
outside of Positano,
405
00:14:49,006 --> 00:14:51,705
with this restaurant
with a little old nonna
406
00:14:51,835 --> 00:14:54,359
who would hand-roll pasta every morning.
407
00:14:54,490 --> 00:14:56,666
The smells were incredible.
408
00:14:56,797 --> 00:14:58,589
What if I told you Jay could take you
409
00:14:58,620 --> 00:14:59,669
to that little Italian town,
410
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,453
and you could jerk off onto that nonna?
411
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:03,368
Just 'cause they say it
doesn't mean we have to.
412
00:15:03,499 --> 00:15:06,763
Oh, there you are.
413
00:15:06,894 --> 00:15:07,894
What's going on?
414
00:15:07,895 --> 00:15:09,853
- Alberta's here.
- Aw...
415
00:15:09,984 --> 00:15:11,420
Your Livings here are
trying to tear us apart
416
00:15:11,551 --> 00:15:13,596
by bribing me to move to Italy.
417
00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:15,946
What the hell, Sam? I can't believe you.
418
00:15:16,077 --> 00:15:18,253
I get that my relationship
is an inconvenience for you,
419
00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:19,689
but that does not give you the right
420
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,605
to sabotage me and Saul,
you selfish, selfish woman.
421
00:15:22,736 --> 00:15:23,736
Alberta, I didn't mean to...
422
00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:25,913
Ah-ah-ah! I don't want to hear it.
423
00:15:26,043 --> 00:15:27,697
Come on, Saul.
424
00:15:35,444 --> 00:15:37,620
Can you tell Jay to leave, too?
425
00:15:37,751 --> 00:15:38,751
I'd like Saul to storm out with me.
426
00:15:44,932 --> 00:15:45,932
I'm so sorry about Sam and Jay.
427
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:47,021
I can't believe they
would do that to us.
428
00:15:47,151 --> 00:15:48,370
Yeah, I hear you.
429
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,154
I can't even stand to
be around Jay right now,
430
00:15:50,285 --> 00:15:51,895
but, you know.
431
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:54,332
I mean, they don't know.
This could be something real.
432
00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:57,205
Could be? Why, this is something real.
433
00:15:57,335 --> 00:15:58,859
Oh...
434
00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:01,731
Nothing's gonna drive me
away from you, sugarplum.
435
00:16:01,862 --> 00:16:03,646
Oh, I didn't know we were
doing pet names so soon,
436
00:16:03,777 --> 00:16:05,300
but okay.
437
00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:06,910
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
438
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:09,478
I mean it. You don't have to worry now.
439
00:16:09,609 --> 00:16:13,308
- I'm gonna be with you forever.
- Ah!
440
00:16:13,438 --> 00:16:16,790
Forever. That's a long
time, especially compared to
441
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,400
the two days that
we've known each other.
442
00:16:18,530 --> 00:16:20,968
Even when Jay gets old and dies,
443
00:16:21,098 --> 00:16:23,623
I'll simply jerk myself
off onto someone else.
444
00:16:23,753 --> 00:16:25,320
And then the next guy
445
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:26,930
and the next guy and the next...
446
00:16:30,499 --> 00:16:33,502
... and the next guy for
a thousand generations.
447
00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,765
Just so I can stay with you.
448
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,593
But isn't it painful
for you when you do that?
449
00:16:37,724 --> 00:16:39,551
Well, nothing compares to the pain
450
00:16:39,682 --> 00:16:42,250
of being away from my cuddle muffin.
451
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,165
Ha, another nickname!
452
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:48,169
They coming fast and furious now.
453
00:16:49,170 --> 00:16:50,562
Oh, my God.
454
00:16:50,693 --> 00:16:53,870
So, don't keep me on tenterhooks.
455
00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:57,352
Do you see now that lap
dances are all innocent fun?
456
00:16:57,482 --> 00:17:01,399
Yes. Absolutely. Meant nothing.
457
00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:03,706
See, that's the thing about you and me.
458
00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:06,403
When you have the solid foundation,
459
00:17:06,535 --> 00:17:10,017
where two people understand
each other so well...
460
00:17:10,147 --> 00:17:12,410
You want to talk about
a real solid foundation?
461
00:17:12,541 --> 00:17:17,806
Each leg of a Brachiosaurus
weighs over 10,000 pounds.
462
00:17:17,938 --> 00:17:19,940
Trust and respect.
463
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:22,159
These are the hallmarks
of a good relationship.
464
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:23,944
Yeah. Which makes me even more certain
465
00:17:24,074 --> 00:17:26,381
than I was before about
our upcoming nuptials.
466
00:17:26,511 --> 00:17:29,340
Because you and I, we just click.
467
00:17:31,212 --> 00:17:32,474
♪ Yeah ♪
468
00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:35,303
♪ Uh-huh. ♪
469
00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:37,740
I love clicking.
470
00:17:38,785 --> 00:17:40,482
Interesting way to put it.
471
00:17:41,875 --> 00:17:43,790
Sam, I think we need to talk.
472
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,879
I couldn't agree more.
I owe you an apology.
473
00:17:46,009 --> 00:17:47,009
Jay and I should not have gone
474
00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:48,446
behind your back to talk to Saul.
475
00:17:48,577 --> 00:17:50,144
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
476
00:17:50,274 --> 00:17:52,015
- That clinger's got to go, Sam.
- What?
477
00:17:52,146 --> 00:17:54,801
The tide has turned.
The clinger is clingy.
478
00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:56,019
And no one could have seen it coming.
479
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:57,934
I thought you two were
really getting along.
480
00:17:58,065 --> 00:18:00,415
Well, you know how I
said that I was parched?
481
00:18:00,545 --> 00:18:01,633
But then I had some water
482
00:18:01,764 --> 00:18:02,983
and then I had some more.
483
00:18:03,113 --> 00:18:04,636
And now my thirst is quenched,
484
00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:06,421
but the water is still here.
485
00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:07,552
And it's too much water.
What I'm saying is,
486
00:18:07,683 --> 00:18:09,293
I'm drowning, Sam.
487
00:18:09,424 --> 00:18:10,730
Hey, babe.
488
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,080
I just got back from the library.
489
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:14,234
- The library?
- Yeah.
490
00:18:14,235 --> 00:18:16,648
I'm trying to do things an
interesting person would do.
491
00:18:16,779 --> 00:18:18,607
I don't know, I'm
feeling a lot of pressure.
492
00:18:18,738 --> 00:18:19,956
Saul, I think we need to talk.
493
00:18:20,087 --> 00:18:21,741
I-I will leave you two alone.
494
00:18:21,871 --> 00:18:23,133
- I'm coming with you.
- No. Jay,
495
00:18:23,264 --> 00:18:24,482
you need to stay.
496
00:18:24,613 --> 00:18:25,614
Alberta needs to talk to Saul.
497
00:18:25,745 --> 00:18:28,573
- About what?
- Jay!
498
00:18:28,704 --> 00:18:32,926
So, what is it, my little
slice of angel food cake?
499
00:18:33,056 --> 00:18:36,146
Off of that... Saul, I've dated my share
500
00:18:36,277 --> 00:18:39,193
of dishonest men, so I want
to be straight with you.
501
00:18:39,323 --> 00:18:41,804
- This ain't working out for me.
- I see.
502
00:18:41,935 --> 00:18:44,546
Aw, damn it. Hey, Sam, I-I
left my phone in the car.
503
00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:45,765
Sam!
504
00:18:45,895 --> 00:18:48,593
Honey, I'm glad you
walked through that door
505
00:18:48,724 --> 00:18:51,248
and grateful for the
time we had together.
506
00:18:51,379 --> 00:18:54,774
It's just, um, how do I put this? Uh...
507
00:18:54,904 --> 00:18:56,688
You think I'm clingy, don't you?
508
00:18:56,819 --> 00:18:57,907
That's exactly right. Well said.
509
00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:00,692
Damn it, Saul, you done done it again!
510
00:19:00,823 --> 00:19:03,652
You know, some ghosts
theorize that us clingers
511
00:19:03,783 --> 00:19:04,784
are doomed to this existence
512
00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:06,655
because we get too, um... attached.
513
00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:10,354
Can I get a magazine?
514
00:19:10,485 --> 00:19:12,313
A-are they done talking?
515
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,705
But I totally get it, Alberta,
516
00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:15,098
and I appreciate your honesty.
517
00:19:15,229 --> 00:19:17,318
I just wish I had known
before I left Gene.
518
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,494
I mean, that man took me to see
the northern lights last year,
519
00:19:19,624 --> 00:19:23,150
and Jay's taken me to Sonic
three times this weekend.
520
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,369
Oh, well, this is where
having a Living you can talk to
521
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,676
comes in handy.
522
00:19:27,807 --> 00:19:30,635
You-you came all the way to
Philly to give me an umbrella?
523
00:19:30,766 --> 00:19:32,899
- I don't even think this is mine.
- Are you a hugger?
524
00:19:33,029 --> 00:19:34,117
I mean, I'm not owed
because of the umbrella,
525
00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:36,032
but it would be a nice gesture.
526
00:19:36,163 --> 00:19:37,163
Oh, you don't have to do that.
527
00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:38,469
I'm already back on Gene now.
528
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,600
Come on, buddy.
529
00:19:39,688 --> 00:19:41,603
- I don't... I...
- Come on.
530
00:19:41,733 --> 00:19:44,040
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho.
531
00:19:44,171 --> 00:19:46,303
Now, that is a clinger.
532
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:50,655
Ooh, I'm not really sure how
long I'm supposed to stay here.
533
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,706
Alone at last. Wait,
we are alone, aren't we?
534
00:19:57,837 --> 00:20:00,317
- Saul's definitely gone, right?
- Yes, Jay.
535
00:20:00,448 --> 00:20:03,016
You know, this whole thing
with Saul and Alberta,
536
00:20:03,146 --> 00:20:04,626
it's just made me
realize how lucky we are
537
00:20:04,756 --> 00:20:05,888
to have found each other.
538
00:20:06,019 --> 00:20:07,934
Hmm, we are really lucky.
539
00:20:08,064 --> 00:20:10,588
And it's pretty nice to have
our bedroom back to ourselves.
540
00:20:10,719 --> 00:20:13,504
Okay. Hint received.
541
00:20:13,635 --> 00:20:15,332
Should I put on the sexy playlist?
542
00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:18,466
Oh, actually, I have something.
543
00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:21,121
- Oh.
- ♪ Yeah ♪
544
00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:23,036
- Oh.
- Hey.
545
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,559
Wocka, wocka.
546
00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:26,126
- Wow, you like that?
- I do.
547
00:20:27,867 --> 00:20:30,043
Hey, what's that funny
thing sometimes you say
548
00:20:30,173 --> 00:20:31,522
from Crocodile Dundee?
549
00:20:31,653 --> 00:20:32,872
That's not a knife.
550
00:20:33,002 --> 00:20:34,438
This is a knife.
551
00:20:34,569 --> 00:20:35,918
Oh, crikey.
552
00:20:36,049 --> 00:20:37,224
Really?
553
00:20:37,354 --> 00:20:39,356
♪ I'll take you to the candy shop ♪
554
00:20:39,487 --> 00:20:42,055
- ♪ Want one taste of what I got? ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh. ♪
555
00:20:42,056 --> 00:20:47,056
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40519
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