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1
00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:02,400
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
2
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:49,160
(HORN HONKS)
3
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,280
Here you are, guv'nor, mascot.
4
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,760
Just what you need, ain't it,
with you going into the RAF?
5
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,560
Lucky charm. See, they all have 'em.
You ask any of them glamour boys.
6
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,640
Never have a bash at old Jerry
without one.
7
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,280
Hey, you, mister. Now, if I was you,
I'd have this monkey.
8
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,880
It's got a coloured behind, see,
9
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,800
and every time
the flipping Luftwaffe come at you,
10
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,800
all you got to do is turn it round
this way, say, "Kiss my..."
11
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,240
(AIR-RAID SIREN HOWLS)
(PLANES DRONE)
12
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,800
(AIR-RAID SIREN HOWLS)
13
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,760
Oh, come on. I've got all kinds
of interesting novelties here.
14
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,080
No, really,
they're very amusing little things.
15
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,240
I mean.. Hello, officer.
16
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,760
Obstructing the pavement
again, Pope?
17
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,760
Who, me?
Come on. Pack it up.
18
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,840
I'm just giving the lads a couple
of laughs, keeping up their morale.
19
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,520
I ain't even selling the things.
Here you are, mate, present for you.
20
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,800
OK, Pope! I said pack it up!
21
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,920
Anything to say
before I pass sentence?
22
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,000
Well, yes, since you asked me,
I have, missus.
23
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,760
This is helping Hitler.
That's what it is.
24
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,760
I beg your pardon? This ain't like
the other times I've been nicked.
25
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,600
On this occasion,
I'd just put me suitcase down
26
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,480
while I waited for the queue
to ease off so I can nip in
27
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,400
and put me moniker on the King and
Country forms they was handing out.
28
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,600
And then to me amazement, I'm pinched
before I can even take the oath.
29
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,720
Do you mean to say
you were endeavouring to enlist
30
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,200
when you were taken
in charge?
31
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,520
Yeah. You've got it, milady.
If I might make a comment, Your...
32
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,760
Oh, but this is
quite outrageous, officer,
33
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,400
losing his place
in the enlistment queue?
34
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:02,360
The defendant is given an absolute
discharge with four shillings cost.
35
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:07,160
Give him the money, Mr Clerk. I see
fine things ahead of you, young man.
36
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,680
Great things.
37
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,480
Officer, take this
fine-spirited fellow in hand
38
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,800
and give him
every possible assistance.
39
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,040
Thanks, officer,
you can leave me on me own now.
40
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:44,000
MAN: Left, left.
Left, right, left.
41
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,560
Left, left. Left, right, left.
42
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,880
Left, right, left, right,
left, right, left.
43
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,320
Left, left. Left...
44
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,320
Left, right, left, right, left!
45
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,560
Now down and across the bayonet!
46
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,760
What are you doing with that bayonet
tied up in that sack?
47
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,280
(MAN SHOUTS)
48
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,520
Look, as senior man
in this tent,
49
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,880
I insist on reorganising
the accommodation in here.
50
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,720
It's perfectly simple.
There are 10 of us.
51
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,480
So we divide the cubic capacity
into 10 equal parts.
52
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,280
How'd I get into this? That's what
I've been asking for two weeks now.
53
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,160
There I was
minding me own business.
54
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,560
All of a sudden,
I'm being shanghaied into the RAF.
55
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,160
It's a press-gang. That's what it is.
It's a press-gang.
56
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,560
As I was saying,
if we all cooperate as a team,
57
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,600
each man keeping
to his own allocated...
58
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,440
How long am I in for?
That's the rub.
59
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,680
I mean, you get slung inside,
the judge, he tells you.
60
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,760
Six months, a year, even,
but he tells you. Not in this lark.
61
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,040
I mean, supposing
Hitler don't win the war after all.
62
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,080
Might be stuck for years and years.
Now, look here, Pope.
63
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,480
I've had my eye on you
for the past week or two.
64
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,760
It's manifestly plain
you're the type of defeatist
65
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,760
that's liable to spread
alarm and despondency.
66
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,080
Why don't you give your jaw a rest?
MAN: Outside!
67
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,520
Hey, wait. Hey, wait.
Half a tick.
68
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,040
We don't have to go.
Nobody'll miss us in that shower.
69
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,800
Let's lie low and skip it.
Well, they don't count us, do they?
70
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:23,080
But hang it all! That's mutiny.
71
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,200
Look, as senior man,
I order everyone to go.
72
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,320
Oh, get lost, Clarence. Get lost.
73
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,560
Get outside!
74
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:35,760
Come on, look lively about it!
That man in the back! Move yourself!
75
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,360
(SINGS) # ..through the trees
76
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,120
# You know... #
77
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,640
It was a pay parade.
78
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,160
Eh?
79
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,600
No, wait.
It's too late, Popey.
80
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,920
You've had it for a fortnight.
81
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,240
Why didn't somebody tell me?
82
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,640
I can let you have a pound.
83
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,200
Well, do you reckon that'll do you
till next payday?
84
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,960
Well... Thanks. That's...
decent of you, mate. Ta.
85
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,400
It was that other bloke's fault -
he'd like to see me starve
86
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,320
so as he can get more of
that cubic capacity of his in here.
87
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,400
Well, I don't know.
I reckon it's a good idea.
88
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,960
No, I mean, about all us fellas
sharing and all.
89
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,480
You...
90
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,720
But, then, you don't like it here
at all, do you?
91
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,800
I've made up me mind, mate.
You're in, you're in.
92
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,600
There's nothing to do but relax and
swim with the tide, like they say.
93
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,240
Only thing is, how does a bloke
make a living in this outfit?
94
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,480
Well, they give you regular grub
and a place to sleep.
95
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,080
Chased from apex to breakfast time
for two and thruppence a day
96
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,760
and you call that living?
97
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,840
Why, that's slavery, mate,
ruddy slavery.
98
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,640
MAN: Members of number two squad,
four flight,
99
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:42,800
collective postings
to number six, ITW,
100
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,800
Dukes Meadow,
for aircrew training.
101
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,320
Number six ITW! Boy, oh, boy!
That's a training wing, isn't it?
102
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,600
Sure thing, and then straight off
to operational centre
103
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,240
and then...
(IMITATES GUNFIRE)
104
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,720
Gorblimey.
105
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,400
Ever see anybody in such a tearing
hurry to get to the undertaker's?
106
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,640
..number three squad,
number three...
107
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,120
Hold up. That's us.
108
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:04,440
..to non-effective pool
recruits training centre...
109
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,560
Non-effective - that's us.
And it's here, right here in town.
110
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,440
Well, is that good, Popey?
Well, it's non.
111
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:10,960
That means it's gotta
be something peaceful
112
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,400
like putting up blackout curtains
or running errands, maybe.
113
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,960
'Ere, let's get out of here
before they get tabs on us.
114
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,480
You don't know how lucky we are.
You think so, Popey?
115
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,560
Well, think of what happened
to them other poor blighters.
116
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,000
You know where they could be headed?
The boat, overseas.
117
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,880
At least this way, mate,
we've got a chance
118
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,600
to see the end
of this flipping duration.
119
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,280
Here we are.
Get your skates on.
120
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,720
(BELL DINGS)
121
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,520
Here, mate, mate.
122
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:57,040
What's all the panic?
Have you just been drafted to pool?
123
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,480
Yeah, me and him, from
recruit centre, reporting for duty.
124
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,600
Duty? Here? How long you been in?
About a month.
125
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,480
Hey, uh, what's the layout?
Here, um, have a fag.
126
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,960
Will you stop pushing?
127
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,560
It's Chiefy.
He's dishing out 295s.
128
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,760
295s? What are them?
Leave passes.
129
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,360
It's the same every morning
directly after parade.
130
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,360
What, do you have parades here?
Well, not exactly parades.
131
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,160
Will you stop pushing?
132
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,680
Not exactly parades.
Sort of roll calls.
133
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,920
They can't check on you
'cause there's too many of us.
134
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,120
Be the same tomorrow morning.
Be a load more here tomorrow.
135
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,120
Ain't there no-one in charge
of this here pool?
136
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,320
Yeah, Chiefy's in charge, but
he's expecting his ticket, you see,
137
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,920
so he don't give a monkey's
slap or tickle what happens to us.
138
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,800
Real snide's holiday, this one,
I'll tell you that.
139
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,280
Hey, Chiefy,
we're living in digs, like.
140
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,240
(ALL TALK AT ONCE)
141
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:39,440
Enough! Keep in line! Or I'll slap
you on a charge, the lot of you.
142
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,720
You see if I don't.
143
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,080
'Ere! Don't he ever turn them down?
No, he went barmy months ago.
144
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,880
Now, listen to me, all of you.
Bombed out, Chiefy.
145
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,600
Wife and kids got nowhere to go,
only mother-in-law.
146
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,560
Letter here
from the chief clerk, Chiefy.
147
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,480
Wife's conscripted
to make camouflage netting.
148
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,800
Can you beat that?
And me serving King and Country.
149
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,520
Wife's expecting twins, Chiefy.
She's got to have 'em at home.
150
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,240
No room at the hospital.
Now, look.
151
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,720
Give me a break
or I'll shut the office for a week.
152
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,120
(PHONE RINGS)
And can't anyone answer that phone?
153
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,360
(SPEAKS INAUDIBLY)
154
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,600
Pipe down, will ya?
155
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,280
It's SHQ on the line, sir.
SHQ?
156
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,640
'Ere, Pedlar, shut that door,
and don't let anybody else in.
157
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:22,640
Get me?
Sure. Sure, Popey.
158
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,560
Yes, sir?
159
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,360
On the dot, sir. Certainly, sir.
160
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,240
Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
Right, sir!
161
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,760
SHQ want 12 airmen to scrub down
the main equipment store.
162
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,360
OK, first 12.
Give us your passes.
163
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:41,240
And when you're finished, come back
and collect them at 1600 hours sharp.
164
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,760
We can check on them
from 295s, Chiefy.
165
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,120
Right, Pedlar,
let this lot out and stand outside.
166
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,160
Don't let anyone else in
till I say so.
167
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,520
Don't worry about Pedlar, Chiefy.
He don't really hurt no-one.
168
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,320
He's gentle as a baby, really.
169
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,280
Lummy, they're trespassing
on your good nature.
170
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,440
Blimey, they're enough
to drive anyone barmy,
171
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,280
the lazy lot of so-and-sos.
172
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,520
Yeah, but don't you worry. Me and
Pedlar... He's my oppo out there.
173
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,160
We're gonna fix all that for you.
You just leave it to us.
174
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,200
Hello.
Is this your tea jug, Chiefy?
175
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,200
Well, it's about NAAFI time,
ain't it?
176
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,440
Right, first bloke back with
that filled gets his pass signed.
177
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,880
Well, that's
absolutely bloody marvellous.
178
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,920
Why have I never thought
of that dodge?
179
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,400
I haven't had hot tea in that jug
for weeks.
180
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,800
Hey, Chiefy, why don't you
come and bed down in here?
181
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,160
There's a comfortable chair,
nice view of the sea.
182
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,160
I'll get a notice
put on that door -
183
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,640
"Positively no admittance
except through my clerk."
184
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,840
Uh, if you could just
give me the gen.
185
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,920
You know, just a rough outline,
of course. Yeah?
186
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,800
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
187
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,640
Hi, Popey.
Where was you?
188
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,640
I've been looking for you.
Washing up the landlady's dishes.
189
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,920
She can't employ an airman
as an unpaid skivvy.
190
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,840
No, it was real good fun, Popey.
191
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:05,240
Besides, I thought
you'd still be talking with Chiefy.
192
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,080
No, no, me and him
came to terms quick.
193
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,640
That's what
I want to tell you.
194
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:11,520
We have fallen slap on our feet,
Pedlar, old son.
195
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,600
This pool is a proper little goldmine
if we work it right.
196
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,160
What sort of jobs?
You couldn't buy 'em for 10 quid.
197
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,800
I'm gonna be the chief clerk
198
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,480
and you're gonna be
the chief chucker-outer.
199
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,720
Chips. We're gonna give the sarge
a hand with these deadbeats.
200
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,720
That sounds real good, Popey.
201
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,960
Chiefy, I thought he looked
a nice sort of bloke. Him?
202
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,880
He didn't spend
two years in Singapore
203
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,800
trading with the wogs
for nothing.
204
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,680
We've got to split
everything with him, 50/50.
205
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,000
He wouldn't take a button less.
50/50? Of what?
206
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,000
Here, well, look.
I've been making out a price list.
207
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,400
Here you are. Look.
Seven days leave, five bob.
208
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,360
Weekend pass, half a dollar.
Excuse-duty chit...
209
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,640
Well, that ought to be
worth the same,
210
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,240
but there's no knowing yet
what to charge
211
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,880
until we work it over
for a bit.
212
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,720
Ought to be half-a-dozen fiddles
waiting to be played in this place.
213
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,560
And to think, I was standing outside
that recruiting depot for a year.
214
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,560
Only one thing, Popey.
Only what? Go on.
215
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:01,200
Aren't we gonna fight anybody?
Fight? Who?
216
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,160
Some of them Germans, maybe.
217
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,160
Do you think
we'll ever get a chance to?
218
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,240
What was you doing, mate,
when they nabbed you?
219
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,600
It's something you never told me.
I wasn't nabbed, Popey.
220
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,080
I volunteered.
221
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,800
You...
222
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,800
OK. Look.
223
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,720
Only do me a favour.
224
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,720
Don't go listening to any more
of them propaganda news bulletins.
225
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,280
And if you buy a paper,
well, look at the comics.
226
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,120
Anything you want to know,
just ask me, OK?
227
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,680
Sure.
228
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,160
Sure, Popey.
229
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,680
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
230
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,880
Mail.
231
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:58,640
Has Pope's char gone in yet?
Yes, sir, just stick it in.
232
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,760
OK, mates. You look like
deserving cases to me.
233
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,040
I'll, um, have a word with Chiefy.
Would you really? Thanks, Popey.
234
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,120
Uh, we'd appreciate
your gratitude, chums.
235
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,880
Ta, Popey.
236
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:20,120
(SEAGULLS CRY)
(SNORES)
237
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,840
Chiefy. Chiefy.
238
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,400
Two cases here, Chiefy.
Gotta be booked out today.
239
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:33,160
Sign right there, Chiefy.
Don't wake yourself up.
240
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,840
No.
241
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,200
Oh, I must give up these naps
in the morning.
242
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:42,480
Makes it so hard to go to sleep
in the afternoon.
243
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,320
Thanks, Chiefy.
244
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,120
MAN: I've got to see him, lads.
(MEN ARGUE)
245
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,560
Can I take another post...
Simmer down, Jock. Simmer down.
246
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,520
It's OK, Trinidad.
Right, sir.
247
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:07,400
Come in, Jock.
It's about your posting, you say?
248
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,000
Aye. I made a dozen applications
about it, as you well know.
249
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,680
I cannae sleep.
Me mother's ailing.
250
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,680
And there's a business
to keep an eye on too.
251
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,680
Half a tick, chum.
Today's mail's only just come in.
252
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,680
I ain't had a chance
to look at it yet.
253
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,280
And I've told you before.
254
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,360
Hard-hearted lot of perishers
down at records, they are.
255
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,480
Keep you waiting, they do. Maybe
that new list of postings is in.
256
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,480
Hello, Jock. This could be it.
257
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,760
What do you know?
A whole block of postings.
258
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,520
MacTaggart. J. MacTaggart.
259
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,280
Uh, yeah.
260
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,600
"The following postings
are to..."
261
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,800
Here we are. MacTaggart, J.
262
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,200
Cornwall.
263
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,280
Cornwall, you say?
Sorry, mate.
264
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,640
RAF Station Dyce would have been
right on your doorstep, eh?
265
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,080
Aye, it would, that, in Aberdeen.
266
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,040
I'd set my heart
on a station over the border.
267
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,360
Yeah, well, that's war for you, Jock.
It's us little guys what suffer.
268
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,760
Aye.
No, it doesn't make sense.
269
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,560
A bloke from Cornwall being
posted to Dyce and you to Cornwall.
270
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,040
It's bloody mismanagement,
that's what it is.
271
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,920
Well, what am I to do?
I'll have a word with Chiefy, Jock.
272
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,800
You come back tomorrow.
Thanks, mate.
273
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,960
Oh, struth, bad luck! I'm only just
beginning to use me noodle!
274
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,560
Can you really fix it with Chiefy?
Well, don't you see?
275
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,480
It's like having
tomorrow's race results.
276
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,160
30 blokes posted in one day and
only us knows where they're going.
277
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,960
'Ere, sling over those cards.
278
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,800
We'll check these postings
against their home addresses.
279
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,800
There's bound to be
some more compassionates here.
280
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,640
I don't get it exactly.
Later, mate. Later.
281
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,120
I'll draw you a picture.
282
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,680
Hey, what shall we say?
283
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,560
10 bob within 50 miles,
a quid within the county,
284
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,280
and for finding yourself
285
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,200
round the jolly old 'orner,
like Jock, two quid.
286
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,840
Well, do you reckon
that's right, Popey?
287
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,840
Well, what do you think
we ought to charge?
288
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,440
No, I mean, do you reckon it's right
we should take money
289
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,440
for giving out leave passes
and suchlike?
290
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,640
I've been thinking about,
well, if it's honest or not.
291
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,560
Honest?!
292
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,080
I'll tell you a fact, Pedlar.
293
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,200
It don't matter what you do. It's
only honest if you make money at it.
294
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,120
They're all on the fiddle.
295
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,440
Manufacturers
after the government contracts.
296
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,760
That flipping landlady of ours
pinching rations.
297
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,520
And all them officers after
promotions they ain't deserving.
298
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,880
And it's all done
down in some cellar.
299
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,640
Well, that ain't my way, mate.
It never has been, never will be.
300
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,600
I'm out in the open, I am,
fair and square and...
301
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,400
I know that. I've known that since
the first time I saw you, Popey.
302
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,120
Yeah, well, don't get the idea that
I'm criticising anybody. I'm not.
303
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,000
It's the way things is.
304
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,640
Everybody in this world is watching
out for themself, that's all. See?
305
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,840
I see what you mean, Popey.
306
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,600
I think.
Well, OK, then.
307
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,080
Let's begin with the 'A's.
308
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,840
Alcock, 925.
Home address, Liverpool.
309
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,760
Posted to...posted to...
310
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,080
..RAF Station Speke.
311
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:49,040
'Ere, where the hell's Speke?
Speke?
312
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,080
I'll have a dekko in the Green Book.
Uh, Speke.
313
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:56,000
Here we are.
Spalding, Sparkwell, Speke.
314
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,520
It's another bullseye.
It's right on the doorstep again.
315
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,200
Oh, we'll tell him
he's going to Dover.
316
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,320
What do you know, Jock?
317
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,040
It's a bit tricky, but I think
I've got it fixed for you.
318
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,640
Is it worth two quid?
319
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,160
Two pounds? Pounds, you say?
320
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,920
Oh, blimey, mate,
don't look as if I was asking for 50.
321
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,400
You wouldn't be satisfied
with 30 shillings?
322
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,120
No more than you'd be satisfied
with a posting to Cairo.
323
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,920
Well, I'll no pay till I see the
posting in black and white, man.
324
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,240
Well, of course, Jock.
This is COD.
325
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,920
Aye. If I get the posting,
you get your £2.
326
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,960
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
327
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,680
Who are you?
328
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,800
Um... Pope's the name, Sarge,
Chiefy's clerk.
329
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,960
What can I do for you, Sarge?
330
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,800
Don't use that slovenly word
when you're addressing me.
331
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,560
I'm Sergeant, not Sarge.
332
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,920
As of tomorrow, I'm taking over
from Flight Sergeant Huxtable.
333
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,760
Now, what's all this nonsense? How
can he keep track of men like that?
334
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,680
What happened
to loose-leaf ledger?
335
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,720
And why isn't this
under lock and key? Hm?
336
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,520
RAF book of units.
Suppose I was an enemy agent.
337
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,640
(PHONE RINGS)
338
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,720
Well, go on, man, answer it.
There's a war on.
339
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,640
Yes. Sergeant.
340
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:56,560
Hello?
341
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,280
Orderly room.
342
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:04,480
Where is it you're posted to, Popey?
Heathfield. Big camp down south.
343
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,760
Maybe if you talked with
the new sarge like you know how.
344
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,960
Waste of breath. He thinks he's the
whole bleeding Air Ministry, he do.
345
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,200
'Ere, Pedlar.
Yeah?
346
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,840
Do you want to come along?
How?
347
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,520
I've got an extra posting. Chiefy
said, "This is me last official act."
348
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,920
For 10 bob, he gave me two
for the price of one.
349
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,400
Oh, sure thing, Popey.
350
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,800
I might have got you a posting
near your home, but, uh,
351
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:32,280
I didn't know
where you lived.
352
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,760
Doesn't matter.
Heathfield will suit me fine.
353
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,640
Get your skates on.
We'll get the first train out.
354
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,240
Hey, where is your home town anyway?
Oh, nowhere special.
355
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,920
What, your folks separated
or something?
356
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,800
Oh, no. My mother weren't fond
of staying put, that's all.
357
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,080
She likes to wander
with the horses and cows
358
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,120
and forage in the countryside
for grub,
359
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,800
just stopping near a fair,
telling fortunes and...
360
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,400
Oh! You're a Gypsy?
361
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,880
Well, why didn't you tell me?
362
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,560
There's a little goldmine
in that fortune-telling.
363
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,880
I can't do that, Popey.
That's only for womenfolk.
364
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,680
Uh. Come on.
365
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,200
Here you are.
366
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,040
(SOLDIERS CHANT)
367
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,040
(PLANE DRONES)
368
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,200
They issue you
with a private porter?
369
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,720
No, Corp, but I sprained
both me ankles on the assault course
370
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,200
at recruit centre.
371
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,200
My oppo is giving me a hand.
I'm his oppo.
372
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,240
Why don't you have a go
at cleaning his buttons?
373
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,120
I will, Corp,
soon as we get settled in.
374
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,040
From Blackrock. Aircraft hands.
General duties.
375
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,120
That's what they say, Corp.
Sarge!
376
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,640
You remember that application
we put in for 12 dogsbodies
377
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,280
the day war was declared?
378
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,040
Yeah, well, they're still
sending 'em. There's two more here.
379
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,680
That makes 96.
What shall I do with 'em?
380
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,160
Butcher's. They need two bods
for the meat detail.
381
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,720
Butcher's.
Out the door, first right.
382
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,760
OK, lads. When you've finished
loading, make your deliveries.
383
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,640
Then come back here
and load up again. Right?
384
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,800
(BOTH SCAT)
385
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,560
Hey, there's the butcher.
Pull up there.
386
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,200
You wait here.
387
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,400
(TYRES SQUEAL)
(VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES)
388
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,280
(DOG BARKS)
389
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,280
Good morning, miss. Boss about?
Dad isn't here at the moment.
390
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,120
Oh, it's Dad, eh?
Don't blame him for not being about.
391
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,040
Guess there ain't many customers
for marble. (LAUGHS)
392
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:31,240
Oh. Our ration's on Saturday. When
the coupons are gone, we just sit.
393
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,760
Who are you?
394
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,320
Well, some people call me Horace,
but I might be Father Christmas
395
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,160
if you tell me
where your dad is, glamour.
396
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,800
Oh. He's in the pub next door,
drowning his sorrows.
397
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,360
You can't miss him.
He's still in his apron.
398
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,640
Thanks, glam.
'Ere, nice hairstyle you've got.
399
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,720
Reminds me of Veronica Lake.
Ooh! You really think so?
400
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,320
Yeah. No kidding.
401
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:50,840
Hey, Pedlar!
402
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,200
Two beers.
403
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,080
Morning, Mr Cooksley.
Gonna have one on the RAF?
404
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:02,480
Well, surely, son, since you
asked me. How come you know my name?
405
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,640
A mate of mine up at the camp
told me to look out for you.
406
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,680
We're in the same line of business,
you might say.
407
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,040
You a butcher by trade?
Not yet, but I'm gonna be.
408
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,920
Soon as me whole remustering
comes through.
409
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,440
Meanwhile, I just handle the stuff.
Handle the stuff?
410
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,000
Yeah, we deliver to
the outlying camps, all six of 'em.
411
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,600
Through here
three times a week.
412
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:23,120
Well, here's to the
bloody-handed trade, Mr Cooksley.
413
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,320
These two RAF boys, Mum,
they were asking for Dad.
414
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:31,680
Whatever would they want
with your dad?
415
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,960
Do you think they've come
to ask us to supply meat
416
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,440
to one of the camps, Mum?
417
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,480
Good gracious, no.
Whatever gave you that idea?
418
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,680
I wonder what they've got
tucked away in there.
419
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,640
Lovely, ain't it?
420
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,480
I was just thinking, well,
what nourishing meals it means
421
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:53,960
for you young men.
422
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,040
Ah, but it ain't that way at all,
Mrs Cooksley.
423
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,280
It ought to be, but it ain't. Where
do you reckon half this meat ends up?
424
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,160
The officers mess. No, sir.
If it did, they'd be more human.
425
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,200
The swill man has it.
Oh!
426
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,720
Really?
427
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,720
What, is it tainted?
Lummy, no!
428
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,240
It's as fresh and beautiful
429
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,960
as the colour
on your daughter's cheeks there.
430
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,640
Tainted? Do it look tainted?
431
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,760
No, it doesn't, does it, Arthur?
432
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,600
I've seen nothing like it
for months.
433
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,440
Why do they have to
feed it to pigs?
434
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,320
Answer that one and they'll make you
prime minister, Mr Cooksley.
435
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:27,480
Waste. Lack of planning.
That's what it is.
436
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,960
Some of these places we go, the pigs
are so fat, they can't get about.
437
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:36,000
Still, that's Whitehall for you.
Uh, we're behind schedule, Popey.
438
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,880
What's the quickest way
to Little Barn Mead,
439
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,360
where they train
the flight mechs?
440
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,000
Oh, that way. You have to turn
and go back to the crossroads.
441
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,920
Just as I thought, Pedlar.
We'll have to reverse.
442
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,040
Do you mind if we
back into your yard, sir?
443
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,360
No, not at all, no.
Come on, help yourself. This way.
444
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,040
Watch it.
(LAUGHS)
445
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,640
OK, Pedlar.
So long, Mr Cooksley, ma'am.
446
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,120
So long, son.
Take her away, Pedlar!
447
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,000
Don't forget you're
coming to see us on Wednesday!
448
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,640
Goodbye!
449
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,160
'Bye.
450
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,800
Hey!
451
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:16,880
Hey!
452
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,160
You dropped a lovely side of beef.
453
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:26,880
Well, would you believe that?
Whatever shall we do with it?
454
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,560
Well, they'll be
looking in again, Dad.
455
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,120
Yes, that's right. In the meantime,
we must treasure it, Iris.
456
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,040
Close the gates
and open up the cold storage.
457
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,760
Yes, Dad. Yep.
Give us a hand, Mother.
458
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,120
It only goes to show, Mr Cooksley,
you can't judge all civvies alike.
459
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,920
Take a bloke like yourself. Business
clean whittled away by rationing.
460
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,360
But you don't bear us service blokes
no grudge, do you?
461
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,560
No. Not in the slightest, Horace.
You're the sort of people I go for.
462
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,440
Down-to-earth.
Yes.
463
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,640
(COW MOOS)
464
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,880
There you go.
Hello, Mrs Williams.
465
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,600
Oh, yes, I know what you wanted.
I got, uh...
466
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,560
I've just got a little something
here for you.
467
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,480
There we are.
468
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,000
A nice tender rabbit.
You'll enjoy that.
469
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,800
Hello, Mrs Watson.
470
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,320
Here. That Cooksley.
Give me another sad story tonight.
471
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:24,800
Yeah?
Yeah.
472
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,080
But in future, if he ain't
more prompt in his payments,
473
00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:29,000
I've got a good mind
to charge him interest.
474
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,440
She's a real nice girl,
you know, Popey.
475
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,120
Yeah, come on.
I'm freezing to death.
476
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,160
Let's go to the NAAFI,
get a cup of char.
477
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,480
Oh, you're catching a cold?
Maybe it's pu-monia.
478
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,240
It's real nippy tonight.
479
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,880
You shouldn't have
gone out walking with Iris.
480
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,840
Walking? "Where can we be private?"
I asked her.
481
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,720
So where does she take me?
Her old man's cold-storage room.
482
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,200
Come on.
483
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,000
Late tonight, aren't they?
Mmm.
484
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,440
It's wonderful
how they've took to one another.
485
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,960
How long is it now? Four months?
You'd hardly believe it, would you?
486
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,840
No, ma'am, you wouldn't.
You know what I feel?
487
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,160
I feel you're just like
two of the family, as you might say.
488
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:08,080
Aren't they back yet?
No, dear, but don't worry.
489
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:11,640
Well, one of us has got to worry.
Now, don't be tiresome, Arthur.
490
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,640
Sometimes you sound
just like a Victorian papa.
491
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,040
After all,
they are walking out regular.
492
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,680
They stand still some of the time.
That's obvious.
493
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,760
Really, Arthur!
494
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,520
It isn't as if Horace
was somebody she picked up.
495
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,000
(IRIS LAUGHS)
There. I think I hear them.
496
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,720
Evening, all,
Mr Cooksley, Mrs Cooksley.
497
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,160
Special delivery for you. How's that
for a nice cut off the old joint?
498
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:34,720
No sense in giving
the customers prime
499
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,320
every day of the week,
is there?
500
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:38,160
Never mind about
the cuts off the joint, Horace.
501
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,800
You and me have got something
in particular to say to each other.
502
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,280
We have?
503
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,600
Well, it can wait till next
Wednesday, can't it, Mr Cooksley?
504
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,640
We'll get booked if we don't get back
to camp. Get your skates on, Pedlar.
505
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,920
You leave your skates
where they are. Olga.
506
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,160
Well... Come on, Iris.
507
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,720
Your father and Horace
want to have a little talk.
508
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,080
Well, if it's about...
Now, upstairs with you.
509
00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:59,840
Come on. Go on.
Do as your father says.
510
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:03,840
Well, it's me they're talking about.
Shh! Upstairs.
511
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,040
Right. Sit down, both of you.
512
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,320
Let's get back
to cuts off the joint.
513
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:12,720
It seems to me you've been helping
yourself pretty freely, Horace.
514
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,080
Now, I don't want to get off
on the wrong foot.
515
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,560
There's nowt done
that's can't be mended.
516
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,040
But for all that,
I think it's gone far enough.
517
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,120
So I'll come
straight to the point.
518
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,760
Are you a married man, Horace?
519
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,320
Married? Well... Course not.
520
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,000
What give you that idea?
Well, you're behaving like one.
521
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,040
Mr Cooksley,
you are talking about me and Iris?
522
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,720
I'm not talking about
the birth rate in general, Horace.
523
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,440
For a minute, I thought somebody
had rumbled the meat lark.
524
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,320
Well, then Mr Cooksley,
if you're hinting
525
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,000
at me and Iris getting spliced,
then you've jumped the gun.
526
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,520
I've jumped the gun?
527
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,000
Iris and me
was discussing it tonight.
528
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,000
How would next Saturday do you?
529
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,640
You mean you and Iris?
530
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,200
Nothing grand, mind you,
just you, the missus
531
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,320
and Pedlar
standing in for me.
532
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,040
Oh, my boy!
I've been wrong about you.
533
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,920
(LAUGHS) After the war, I'll
take you in the business with me.
534
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,040
Bless my soul!
535
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,120
If Iris presents us with a boy...
536
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,320
Oh, well, we can go into that
on Wednesday, Mr Cooksley.
537
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:11,800
Me and Pedlar
have gotta beat it.
538
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,320
If we show up after 2359 hours,
539
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,280
I'll be doing me honeymooning
in the guardroom.
540
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,040
Come on, Pedlar.
541
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,480
See you Wednesday, Pop.
542
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,200
Righto, son!
543
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,080
Bye-bye!
Goodbye.
544
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:27,880
Mother! Hey! Mother!
545
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,440
I'm real happy for you, Popey.
Now you're jumping the gun, mate.
546
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,280
I ain't out of this yet.
Get weaving.
547
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,080
When we get back to camp,
drop me off at the main orderly room
548
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,000
and I'll pick up
a couple of blind postings.
549
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,040
Let me think. Saturday today.
Saturday. Clear by Sunday.
550
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,680
Out of it by Monday.
A quid each for the postings.
551
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,680
30 bob for the corporal to list the
nominal roll with our names on it.
552
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,520
Aren't you gonna get married?
Pedlar, sometimes you frighten me.
553
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,920
Well, she's a nice girl, Popey.
Rah, too nice for me, mate.
554
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,640
Besides, I ain't aiming
to settle down.
555
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,480
Never?
Maybe, one day.
556
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,960
If I find meself
a steady little goldmine, yeah.
557
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,840
And let this
be a lesson to you.
558
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,640
Never mix business with pleasure.
You understand?
559
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,120
I understand, Popey.
560
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,800
(JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS)
561
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,280
There ain't any postings. We've
drawn a blank. There ain't any.
562
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,640
Not at SHQ nor any of the wings.
I've been everywhere.
563
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,600
'Ere, turn that
bleeding uproar off, can't ya?
564
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,600
And draw the blinds on her
while you're at it.
565
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,600
How can I think
with her staring down at me?
566
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,440
Well, you'd better
eat something, Popey.
567
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,280
When you eat something,
you always think of something.
568
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,280
I can't eat. I can't eat.
I'm too churned up.
569
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,640
Saturday, I said, didn't I?
Well, that's a week from today.
570
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,880
We don't look in on Wednesday, he'll
smell a rat and come looking for us.
571
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,480
That gives us four days.
After that, I'm hooked and dried.
572
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,160
Eat something, Popey.
Stop getting at me, will ya?
573
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,120
Clear out and let me think.
574
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,040
Sure, Popey.
575
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,080
I'll take a walk.
Yeah, yeah.
576
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,040
(DOOR OPENS)
(METAL RATTLES)
577
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,520
Tea's up, Popey.
Eh?
578
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:24,640
Oh, yeah. Ta, Pedlar.
579
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:28,360
'Ere, Pedlar, what day is it?
Sunday.
580
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,440
Sunday? 'Ere, Pedlar. Uh...
581
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,720
Do you think if next Wednesday
I told that butcher
582
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,840
that there's a traffic jam
at the registry office -
583
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,080
you know, too many people
want to get spliced at once -
584
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,800
then perhaps I can keep him stalling,
eh, till the postings come in.
585
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,800
You don't have to worry no more.
It's all fixed.
586
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,280
Fixed?
The postings.
587
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,120
We've just got to see the MO
this morning
588
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,760
and we'll be out of here
by tonight.
589
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,440
I've already fixed the chits. Look.
Where are we supposed to be going?
590
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,800
Nice and far away.
It come to me last night.
591
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,880
So I went to the corporal
down at SHQ and volunteered.
592
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,760
You volunteered for what?
The boat!
593
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:03,320
The boat?!
Why, you bloody homicidal maniac!
594
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,320
You've signed our perishing death
warrants! That's what you've done.
595
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,200
But you said you wanted to get away.
Well, yeah, but not that way!
596
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,800
There hasn't been a volunteer
in this outfit
597
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,440
since they went up
after zeppelins!
598
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,520
They'll have our pictures in...
in all the papers.
599
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,280
They'll...drive us up
the bleeding gangplank with a band!
600
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:18,760
Oh, you...
601
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,360
Half the blokes posted overseas
don't get no further than Gib.
602
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,040
After that, they splash around
in the Bay of bloody Biscay.
603
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,880
And I can't swim. Can you swim?
No.
604
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,920
But they issue lifebelts.
I've seen it in the newspapers.
605
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:31,840
Everyone on board
gets a lifebelt.
606
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,360
Do you know what happens
if you do get there?
607
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,440
Well, they send you to places
where there's real live Japs,
608
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,880
with mouthfuls of teeth and real
live ammunition to use up on you!
609
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,520
'Ere, I'm wasting time.
I've got to get down to SHQ.
610
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,520
I've got to tell 'em
it was all a joke.
611
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,800
Yeah, at first they thought
that I was joking too.
612
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,720
Yeah, yeah, that's it. I've got...
I've got to cancel it out somehow.
613
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,720
I've got to laugh it off, maybe with
some palm oil or something.
614
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,360
Maybe they'll listen.
615
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,800
Maybe they'll all have
a bleeding good laugh! (LAUGHS)
616
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:01,560
(HORN HONKS)
617
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,560
SONG: # Wish me luck
as you wave me goodbye
618
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:08,760
# Not a tear but a cheer,
make it gay... #
619
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,160
It's OK, Popey.
We're together, ain't we?
620
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,200
You'd be happy
if we was in a coffin together.
621
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,000
Queuing up for a flipping U-boat.
29 and 30.
622
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,800
Right. Stand fast, the rest.
623
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:23,000
# Wish me luck
as you wave me goodbye. #
624
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,440
Squad, attention!
625
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,600
At ease!
626
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,240
(PLANE DRONES)
627
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:45,160
Cover! Take cover! It's a raid!
628
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,400
(AIR-RAID SIREN HOWLS)
Cover!
629
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,600
Come on!
630
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,680
I'll get your kitbag, Popey.
To hell with it.
631
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,320
The Jerries can have it.
Over there, quick, in the boozer.
632
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,200
We'll have a couple of pints
now we're here.
633
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,120
Might as well get
a final taste of it.
634
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,040
Here you are, Dusty.
See if you can do it again.
635
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,720
Ready, cobber? Right.
One, two, three, go!
636
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,560
(ALL SING) # Here's to Dusty
He's true blue
637
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:19,040
# He's a digger
through and through
638
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,040
# Drink it down, down,
down, down, down
639
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,280
# Drink it down, down, down,
down, down! #
640
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,080
Hey, half a tick, lads.
You call yourselves drinking men?
641
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,360
I've got a quid all round here
says my oppo
642
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,160
can leave him
with beer in his glass.
643
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,640
OTHERS: Oh!
644
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,560
Are you game, Dusty?
Yeah, fair dinkum.
645
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,840
But he's fresh and I'm loaded.
646
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,520
We oughta start from level pegs.
647
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,560
Hold up a moment.
648
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,080
(LAUGHTER)
649
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:50,640
'Ere, Kiwi,
you can be the stakeholder.
650
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,600
Money for old rope, this is.
651
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,480
(ALL TALK AT ONCE)
652
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,280
All set? Ready?
653
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,000
Right!
654
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,760
(ALL SING) # Here's to Dusty
He's true blue
655
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,120
# He's a digger
through and through
656
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,240
# Drink it down, down,
down, down, down
657
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,000
# Drink it down, down, down,
down, down! #
658
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,760
(ALL LAUGH AND CHEER)
659
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,200
Watch out!
(EXPLOSION)
660
00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:31,960
(BUZZING)
661
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,080
Let's get out of here.
662
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:49,600
Hey.
663
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,000
Give us a hand with Dusty.
He's passed out.
664
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:57,160
This way. (BELL RINGS)
Everybody OK?
665
00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:07,120
Popey? Popey!
666
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,600
Where are you?
667
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,640
Popey?
I'm here!
668
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,320
I thought we'd had it
that time.
669
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,800
They don't even give you time
to get on the ruddy boat.
670
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,600
Are you alright?
Yeah, sure, sure.
671
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,320
(ALL-CLEAR SIREN HOWLS)
Fancy pranging a boozer.
672
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,600
All that lovely beer
going to waste. Look.
673
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:28,560
Hey, what happened to all them
others? Them diggers? That barmaid?
674
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,240
Oh, they've all gone.
MAN: Come on, men, C Section!
675
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,400
Get moving! It's all over now!
Chiefy's rounding everybody up.
676
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,920
Come on, Popey, we've gotta go.
Come on! Smartly, now!
677
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,600
Yeah.
678
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,680
Wait. Half a tick.
Come behind the bar quick.
679
00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:43,760
No, thanks, Popey.
I don't want any more to drink.
680
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,800
No, no. Come here quick.
What'd I tell ya?
681
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,040
Drop down out of sight.
682
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,320
Give me your identity card
and your disc.
683
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,400
We're gonna bury 'em.
684
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,480
Anybody there? Anybody inside?
685
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:04,520
(PEDLAR SINGS)
686
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,840
Who's there?
687
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,280
OK down there?
688
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,120
It's my mate.
Something's happened to him.
689
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,520
Has he said where he's hurt?
I'm not worried about his shirt.
690
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,280
'Ere, look at his mouth.
691
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,560
It keeps opening and closing,
but he don't say nothing.
692
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,280
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
693
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,960
Stretcher-bearers!
694
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,000
OK, son, take it easy.
We'll look after you. You'll be OK.
695
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:30,280
Huh?
696
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,280
Mind how you go, Lils.
Ooh! Take it easy, Charlie.
697
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,440
Over here. Burst eardrums and shock.
Better get 'em to Casualty.
698
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:38,920
Right.
Any dead?
699
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,160
No, love. Thank God.
I was only in here last night.
700
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,600
Ambulance!
701
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,560
Come on, son.
It's all that water.
702
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,920
We'll be drowned in here.
It's all that rushing water.
703
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,040
You lean on me.
It must be a burst main.
704
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,040
Steady there. Mind the glass.
Oh, yeah, I can pass.
705
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,720
It's me mate I'm worried about.
He can't even remember his own name.
706
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:57,440
We'll look after him.
That's it.
707
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,320
Come on, love.
708
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,040
Easy does it.
709
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:06,720
# Always together... #
710
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,640
Oh, morning, Doctor.
Nurse. Uh, Sister.
711
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:17,640
How are the ears?
712
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,200
Ears? Oh, they're a lot better,
thank you, Doctor.
713
00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:23,360
The waterfall's stopped, but I can
still hear a pop-pop-pop noise.
714
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,280
What sort of a noise is it exactly?
Pardon?
715
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:29,560
What sort of
a pop-pop-pop noise is it?
716
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,360
Well, like a...
like a motorbike going uphill.
717
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:33,920
I see.
718
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,800
Anybody claimed them yet?
Not yet, Doctor.
719
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,400
They don't seem
to have any papers.
720
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:40,720
Probably got lost in the air raid.
(CLANG!)
721
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,360
But they should have had identity
discs. It's all rather a nuisance.
722
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,480
You'll be fine!
723
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,760
Well, my lad.
724
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,400
You and I are going to have
a little chinwag this morning, eh?
725
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,360
You're going to try and say
one word, hm?
726
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,600
Try and say one word?
727
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,240
Come on. One word. Try it.
728
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,400
Pope!
729
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,200
Splendid. He's an RC, eh?
No, he's C of E, guv'nor.
730
00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:06,360
But he seems to be
getting his bearings a bit.
731
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,960
He offered me a fag
this morning.
732
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,920
And your hearing
seems to be improving rapidly.
733
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,800
Yeah, well,
I'm glad to say it is, Sister.
734
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,640
It comes and goes.
That time, it come.
735
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,680
Uh...better keep 'em quiet
736
00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:17,720
till we can get 'em
to the RAF sick quarters.
737
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:18,840
Yes, Doctor.
738
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,840
Do you want me
to start singing again?
739
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:25,200
No! We're almost home. You want to
get us shunted off to the nuthouse?
740
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,240
148, Pope. 213, Pascoe.
Pope? Pascoe?
741
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,120
Oh, these are our two strays, Sarge.
Oh, yes.
742
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,360
You've been downgraded for
the time being for health reasons.
743
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,120
We have? Does that mean we're due
for home postings only, Sarge?
744
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,440
Your new identity cards.
Lose these and you'll be in trouble.
745
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,800
Where to, Sarge?
RAF Station Craddock Wood.
746
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,520
Craddock Wood.
Change at Smedley Junction.
747
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,600
Right, next.
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
748
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,640
Blimey, it's alright for you.
749
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,880
You can take this sort of life.
You're used to it.
750
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,400
But am I sick of living
out of a perishing kitbag.
751
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:31,680
So if this new dump is OK, we'll get
properly dug in. That's the drill.
752
00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:33,480
We square the four key fiddles -
753
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,000
cookhouse, orderly room,
MT and accounts.
754
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,240
just so as we can recuperate
for a bit, you know.
755
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,720
Sure, Popey. Anyhow, we've saved up
enough money, haven't we?
756
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,960
You asking for
a statement of accounts?
757
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,640
No. I don't worry nothing
about the money, Popey.
758
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,480
Well, why should you ask a question
like that, then, right slap bang?
759
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,080
MAN: All tickets, please.
Oh, struth.
760
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,360
Just as I was getting comfortable.
'Ere. You know the drill.
761
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,120
Prisoner and escort,
on his way to the glasshouse.
762
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,400
Got a bit restive in the Pullman. Had
to dot him and bring him back here.
763
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:04,960
Did you?
764
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,000
'Ere, that's
a pretty good dodge, that.
765
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:10,840
It takes 'em off-balance, like.
766
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,360
Now, you were putting in a moan
about money, weren't you?
767
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,360
You frightened I'm gonna
welsh on you or something?
768
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,240
No, honest, I weren't, Popey.
769
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:20,560
Just so long as things can stay as
they are. You know, the two of us.
770
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,200
Well, I just ain't had time
to make a check-up yet, see?
771
00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:24,880
Oh, let's have a dekko.
772
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,720
Postie's fiddle - £28.10.
773
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,680
That was a good one, that was.
774
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:32,240
Meat. Hey, uh, this ain't
all profit, you understand.
775
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:34,840
I mean, in any business,
you've got crippling expenses.
776
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:38,200
Well, I reckon you have, Popey.
That little book cost two bob.
777
00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:41,560
Then there's pencils, and for all
that squaring I had to do. Blimey!
778
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,200
I've been throwing money about
like it was confetti.
779
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,240
(MUTTERS)
780
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:35,280
(BIRDS COO)
781
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,320
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
782
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,400
(COW MOOS)
783
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,360
(CHICKEN CLUCKS)
784
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,720
MAN: What you got there, then?
WOMAN: What's it look like?
785
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:02,960
Daisy chain.
Know what I'm gonna do with it?
786
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,880
No, what? Wrap it round your head.
That's what I'm gonna do with it.
787
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,520
No, no, give over, Molly.
No, I want to. Oh, go on.
788
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:13,080
Oh, no. Come on. Proper soppy. No.
(BOTH LAUGH)
789
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:16,120
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
790
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:47,840
No, no, no, no.
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
791
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:52,720
This must be done with a great deal
more feeling and more passion.
792
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,880
Remember, we're in old Vienna.
He's bang-on, you know.
793
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:01,120
Yes! That's lovely.
Let's sing out now!
794
00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:11,160
I say, Corporal,
I'm sorry to bother you again.
795
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,560
Could I have another of those
service memoranda books?
796
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,760
I used up the last on
St Paul's journeys in Asia Minor.
797
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,600
Cupboard, second shelf.
Help yourself.
798
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,800
Thank you. Thank you very much.
799
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:27,880
It's a pleasure.
800
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:30,040
Who's that, Corp? The padre?
801
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,160
No, that's the Adj.
He's studying to be a parson.
802
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:33,640
You don't want to worry about him.
803
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,680
Do you mind if I ask you
something personal, Corp?
804
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:36,840
Sure, go ahead.
805
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,320
You ever been stationed
at Black Rock or Heathfield?
806
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,400
(CHUCKLES) I see your point.
807
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:44,480
But they're not in our class,
definitely not.
808
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:47,000
That's your opinion.
It's a simple fact, son.
809
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,520
The CO's courting a rich widow
down at the big house.
810
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,320
He only looks in
Tuesdays and Thursdays.
811
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:52,960
The Adj...
Well, you've just seen him.
812
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,920
The sergeant's a snooker champion
813
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:56,680
and only leaves
the NAAFI once a week.
814
00:44:56,720 --> 00:45:00,520
And on top of all that, there's two
judys to every erk on the strength.
815
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,560
Satisfied?
No parades?
816
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,200
We don't use the word 'parade'
around here, son.
817
00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:06,880
It's considered dirty.
818
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,000
Ask him about the grub, Popey.
I'm getting hungry.
819
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,200
Ah, you've hit us
on a weak spot there.
820
00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:14,600
Now, the grub used to be smashing
when we had one cook.
821
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,120
Now we've got two.
822
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:19,520
Taffy Tovey and his little piece
of home comfort.
823
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,360
I don't think
he's concentrating like he should.
824
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,800
I'm always meaning to have
a word with him about it,
825
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,400
but... (YAWNS)
..I never seem to get the time.
826
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,280
Brassed off.
That's what I am - brassed off.
827
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,040
Do you hear me, Dai?
828
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:35,640
Well, yes, it's a wonderful camp
829
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,880
for everyone else,
you men in particular.
830
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:41,000
No parades, nothing to do
but stroll in the woods.
831
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,320
What do I do from morning to night?
832
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,160
I cook, then I clean up,
then I start cooking again.
833
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,840
Oh, Evie, my love,
it's together we are, isn't it?
834
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,040
Aye, it's because
you're sure of me now
835
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:54,000
ever since you said
we'd slip off and get married.
836
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,920
Do you think I have
nothing better to do
837
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,160
than stand here,
washing up till Armistice Day?
838
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,520
No time off, no 48s, 14-hour days
839
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,760
and that toffee-nosed
Section Officer McNaughton
840
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,760
picking on me all the time.
841
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:09,160
Oh, Dai, darling, look at me.
842
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,080
Isn't there something else
we could do
843
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,760
besides making
a rice pudding together?
844
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:17,160
Oh, Evie, my love...
(MURMURS INDISTINCTLY)
845
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:20,120
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh! Take it easy.
846
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,680
Out of bounds in the kitchen.
There's an order that says so.
847
00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:24,640
You don't want to
take that line with us.
848
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,480
We're the answer
to the maiden's prayer.
849
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:29,240
Aircraft hands, general duties
are remastered cooks and butchers
850
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:30,960
and volunteering for the night shift.
851
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,000
How does that strike you, Taffy?
And you too, gorgeous.
852
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,440
You mean you've been sent here
to give us a helping hand?
853
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:36,920
Me and my oppo.
854
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:40,440
How about some bacon and eggs
while my mate takes over at the sink?
855
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,160
Well, go on, Pedlar. Give the lady
a hand with them crocks.
856
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,360
That's all for today.
Snack bar - same time tomorrow.
857
00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:03,000
Hey, we ain't done bad
for a Saturday.
858
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,840
We stuck on thruppence for the apple
turnovers and tuppence for the peas.
859
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:09,080
Genius you are, Horace.
You'll make a fortune.
860
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,560
Hey, I was thinking,
with the hot weather approaching
861
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,080
why don't we put out a nice line
in ices and lemonades?
862
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:15,560
That's not a bad idea.
863
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,000
Look out! Section
Officer McNaughton.
864
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:21,000
(HECTIC MUSIC)
865
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:30,720
(STERNLY) Stand down for officer's
inspection. Cookhouse, attention!
866
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,360
As you were, cookhouse. Sergeant.
Ma'am!
867
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,520
Um, Sergeant.
Ma'am!
868
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,080
Uh, inspect the mess hall,
869
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,120
see if the tables have been
scrubbed as I instructed.
870
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,680
Yes, ma'am!
871
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,640
Oh!
872
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:48,480
Well, there is some improvement.
873
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:52,240
The first time I visited here
I was appalled, absolutely appalled.
874
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:55,520
Well, I may say, half-washed plates,
875
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:58,240
dirty utensils,
unemptied refuse bins.
876
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:00,480
The whole thing was a shambles.
877
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,480
I said, "As you were."
878
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:05,280
Where are tomorrow's menus?
879
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:12,240
Minced beef, potatoes,
cabbage... Cabbage?
880
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:16,400
Isn't it possible to vary
green vegetables once in a while?
881
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:17,880
Cheese?
882
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,360
There was green mould on the cheese
883
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:21,440
I sampled in here
the night before last.
884
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:24,000
Uh, the cheese store
was a bit damp, ma'am.
885
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:26,320
We moved it over close to the oven.
886
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:29,720
Tables scrubbed,
887
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,040
mess hall thoroughly
cleaned and scoured, ma'am.
888
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,680
Very good. Well, that's all for now.
889
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:37,520
But you must keep it up,
you understand?
890
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,200
Carry on, cookhouse.
891
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:52,080
No business she has in my kitchen.
Treat us like a servant, she is.
892
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,400
Don't upset yourself, darling.
893
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:57,520
Everybody knows
what an old so-and-so she is.
894
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,560
(JEEP ENGINE REVS AND FADES)
895
00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:04,440
(SOFTLY) Oh, I've had
a basinful this morning.
896
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,040
Got a cup of char going?
897
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,720
If women are gonna
be officers like men
898
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:10,320
why don't they act like gentlemen?
899
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:11,960
Here, help yourself to sugar.
900
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,880
You don't have to look far
for her trouble.
901
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:15,800
She's frustrated.
You got something there.
902
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:17,280
If only she'd stop reading about it
903
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,160
in those soppy novels of hers
and try it.
904
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,160
-You know some...
-Hey, half a tick, half a tick.
905
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,240
Can a man get in on this?
Well, ask yourself.
906
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:24,720
She can't go out with an airman
907
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,440
and who's she got
in the officer's mess?
908
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,760
The CO's over 50
and chasing a rich widow.
909
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,440
And the Adjutant's
studying for the priesthood.
910
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:33,320
So just 'cause she sees
the rest of us having a good time...
911
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,480
Now, now, girls.
Fair play, fair play, if you please.
912
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,600
She's the only WAAF officer
on the camp, isn't she?
913
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,280
Well, that makes her
deserving of sympathy in my view.
914
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,680
Trying to do her job
and her in a bundle of nerves,
915
00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:45,720
all high-strung and unhappy,
who'd want to be in her shoes?
916
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,480
Ask yourself that, why don't you?
917
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:51,800
Come on, Pedlar.
Let's get a whiff of air.
918
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,360
MAN: Left incline!
919
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:09,560
Company...HALT!
920
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,360
Fall out, SHQ sentry.
921
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,720
Company about turn!
922
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:18,840
And quick march!
923
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,480
Left, left,
924
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:22,680
left, right, left!
925
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:25,360
Left, left...
Sentry at SHQ?
926
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:27,360
I thought sentries
were only posted at...
927
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,000
Isn't that the man
from the cookhouse?
928
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,600
That's him, ma'am.
929
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:38,800
Does one usually present arms
to an officer of my rank?
930
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,760
This one's the keen type, ma'am.
He's volunteered to patrol all night.
931
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,600
All night? Sentries are relieved
every two hours, aren't they?
932
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,160
Oh, not him, ma'am.
933
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:47,960
That's nonsense.
Well, he volunteered, ma'am.
934
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,880
It ain't easy to know
what a Gypsy's thinking,
935
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:51,440
but he must have had some reason.
936
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:52,920
Gypsy, you say?
Yeah.
937
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,240
Could be the only real live one
in the RAF, ma'am.
938
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:58,440
Wishing you good night and an
uneventful spell of duty, ma'am.
939
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:16,640
(FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH OUTSIDE)
940
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,040
(SIGHS)
941
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,080
(FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE)
942
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,000
(TAPS ON WINDOW)
943
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:52,720
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
944
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,440
Did you want something, ma'am?
945
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,640
Uh, well, I thought you might
like some coffee, airman,
946
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:01,200
and perhaps a sandwich?
947
00:52:01,240 --> 00:52:03,040
Thanks, ma'am.
948
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:06,000
(BELLS RING)
949
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:11,600
Do help yourself.
950
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,520
Thanks, ma'am.
951
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:20,400
I'm afraid that's all there is.
952
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:23,800
Oh, it's alright, ma'am.
I'm not all that hungry.
953
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,800
I dare say we can
get some more later on.
954
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,000
Anyone on duty in the cookhouse?
955
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,600
Oh, Popey will get some more
if you want, ma'am.
956
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,320
Oh, you mean the duty clerk?
957
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:36,120
That's Popey.
We've been together since the start.
958
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:39,800
Oh, yes, he told me you volunteered
to patrol all night.
959
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:41,760
Why did you do
a silly thing like that?
960
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:45,560
I reckon because
you were here, ma'am.
961
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,000
Because I was here?
962
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,920
And Popey thinks
you're smashing, ma'am.
963
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,000
And come to that,
so do I, ma'am - smashing.
964
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,480
Well, really, airman!
965
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:57,720
I know that's a proper
adjective these days,
966
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:00,080
but you make it sound
almost insolent.
967
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,280
No, no, do sit down.
968
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:04,800
What is your name?
969
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,360
Pascoe, ma'am.
Pedlar Pascoe, they call me.
970
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,520
Pedlar? Oh, that must
be a Romani name.
971
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,000
Did you know before the war
972
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,200
I always used to go to Exmoor
for my holidays.
973
00:53:14,240 --> 00:53:16,080
There were always Gypsy
encampments there.
974
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:17,560
They looked so gay
975
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:20,040
with their painted caravans
and colourful costumes.
976
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:22,000
I think it's my favourite place.
977
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:24,480
Have you ever encamped there?
978
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:28,000
Well, ma'am,
if we're just going to talk
979
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:30,240
I'll get some more coffee
and sandwiches.
980
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,640
Oh, well, that's very kind of you.
981
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:36,040
Yes, I would like some more coffee,
then I think I'll hop into bed.
982
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,880
Yes, you do that, ma'am.
983
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,400
Well, we've had quite a pleasant
little chat, haven't we?
984
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,520
Yes, and we'll have another
when I get back.
985
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,680
(BELLS RING)
986
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,440
Oh, it smells real nice, ma'am.
987
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:52,920
It's lilac!
Mmm.
988
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,400
Where did you get it?
989
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,520
A tree behind the cookhouse.
990
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,080
I adore lilac.
991
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,160
When I was a child, we had a tree
behind the wall of our house.
992
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:04,800
It was in the Cotswolds.
993
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,560
The scent of lilac
always makes me think
994
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:10,800
of the colour of Cotswolds stones
and a sky that's wide and hot.
995
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:15,720
It really is the most
marvellous smell, isn't it?
996
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,440
Thank you very much
for bringing them for me.
997
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:21,400
Uh, you'd better hammer
the ends, ma'am.
998
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:23,440
When we sold flowers
we always hammered the ends.
999
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,160
Yes, I remember.
1000
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,200
(THUDDING)
1001
00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:39,880
(GASPS)
1002
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:43,040
Oh, that's awkward.
I've just spilled the coffee.
1003
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:44,840
You don't have a torch, ma'am?
1004
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:47,160
Uh, yes, I have somewhere.
I'll find it.
1005
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:50,840
Oh, steady, ma'am. You alright?
You didn't scald yourself?
1006
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,560
No, no, I'm perfectly alright.
1007
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:54,520
It reminds me
of when we were children -
1008
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:57,120
we'd deliberately put the lights out
just to frighten ourselves.
1009
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:59,240
Now don't talk, ma'am. It spoils it.
1010
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:00,760
What?
1011
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:06,760
No.
1012
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:09,280
No. No.
1013
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:14,880
Airman, put me down.
Take off your boots.
1014
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,600
Lemon?
Well, we ain't got no lemon.
1015
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:25,600
It all seems to float about on top.
1016
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:28,240
Well, maybe we need
some more tapioca.
1017
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:30,040
Let's stick three
more handfuls in each bin
1018
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,400
and I'll thicken it up
with the powdered egg.
1019
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,560
That's it - all used up now.
1020
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:43,160
Hey, the milk! We forgot the milk.
1021
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:47,400
What's it say?
Uh, one and a half pints for four.
1022
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:51,040
Four into 100 is 25... 37.5 pints.
1023
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:54,760
But there's no room for
all that, Popey. It'll overflow.
1024
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,840
Well, OK, OK. Pour some of
the water off and make room for it.
1025
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:00,360
Blimey, this ain't
the Savoy Hotel, you know.
1026
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:02,760
-(PEOPLE BANG AND YELL)
-Ohh!
1027
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:04,880
Alright! Alright!
1028
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,200
Don't be so greedy, the lot of you!
1029
00:57:07,240 --> 00:57:09,400
(ALL JOSTLE)
1030
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:12,040
Help yourselves! We're shorthanded.
1031
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,600
I don't seem to be able to get it
to go around the pan, Popey.
1032
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:27,320
Oh, thickened up a bit, ain't it?
1033
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:31,840
Uh, well, look.
OK, we'll just work it to and fro.
1034
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:35,840
There, like a flippin' joystick.
1035
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:37,440
There.
1036
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:43,800
(BANGS PLATES)
Here we are, my lucky lads!
1037
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,840
Tapioca and lashings of it,
fresh, hot and gooey.
1038
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:48,840
Tapioca, mate.
There you are. Pass it along there.
1039
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:50,960
There you are.
There's plenty for everyone.
1040
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:52,440
Pass it along there.
1041
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:54,240
Hey, Pedlar, dish it up.
Pedlar, come on!
1042
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:56,080
This lady wants
to know where Dai is.
1043
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,760
I've told her he's not here.
Well, where is he, then?!
1044
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:00,440
He's off on a dirty
weekend with Evie.
1045
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:02,520
Oy, missus,
civilians aren't allowed in here!
1046
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:06,000
Who's Evie? And what's this about
my husband being away with her?
1047
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:07,800
You're Dai's missus?!
1048
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:09,880
Want to see
my marriage lines now, is it?
1049
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,200
I'm wasting my time here.
I'll go and see the officer.
1050
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:13,680
No, Mrs Tovey, don't do that!
1051
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:15,920
You don't want to get
Dai into trouble, do you?
1052
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:17,400
The fact is he shouldn't be off-duty.
1053
00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:18,880
Well, he ought to be here,
1054
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,040
but he's doing this WAAF Evie
a good turn.
1055
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:22,520
You see, it's like this, Mrs Tovey.
1056
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:24,640
We had a girl working for us,
name of Evie,
1057
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:28,160
and she was told yesterday that her
home had been wiped out by a bomb.
1058
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:31,040
Liverpool, it was. Naturally,
she was pretty cut up about it.
1059
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:34,920
Her mum, dad, little sister -
all gone.
1060
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:36,760
She was dashing off home to find out
1061
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:38,680
if there was any hope
for her kid brother.
1062
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,400
He was the only one they managed
to fish out of the ruins.
1063
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,800
Dai and me didn't like
to see her go off alone,
1064
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:45,280
not in the state she was in,
1065
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:48,040
so Dai said, "Horace, you take over
and I'll go along with her."
1066
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:51,160
And you call that dirty?
Dirty, you said it was.
1067
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:53,560
Well, that's just a sort of
wartime slang, ain't it, Pedlar?
1068
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:56,080
I mean, when a man goes
to his missus for seven days
1069
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:57,640
we say he's on passionate leave
1070
00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:59,720
and if he goes anywhere else -
anywhere, mind you -
1071
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:01,600
we say he's on a dirty weekend.
1072
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:03,440
There's nothing nasty about it.
1073
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:06,040
And your old pot and pan
ain't that type anyway.
1074
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:09,920
Hey? Excuse me, missus.
I've got a whole camp to feed.
1075
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,920
Pedlar, bring over
more of that tapioca.
1076
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,240
Tapioca again.
Makes you sick, doesn't it?
1077
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:20,040
Hello, Horace!
We've had a smashing time.
1078
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:21,760
Sorry we overstayed a bit,
1079
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:24,680
but you know what it's like
when you go to a place like that.
1080
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:27,560
The fairground was open and there
was dancing in the town ballroom.
1081
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,240
But we brought you both
back some rock.
1082
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:32,840
(COUGHS AND GAGS)
1083
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:34,640
Oh! Oh!
1084
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,280
Oh, what are they trying to do?!
1085
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,960
We had a ball and you wouldn't...
1086
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,760
Did I give you the rock to carry,
Dai, darling?
1087
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:46,200
Who's this?
1088
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:48,920
Gwynneth, my love,
what are you doing here?
1089
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:51,800
Come to check up
on a dirty old man, I have,
1090
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:53,920
him that I married now,
isn't it, Dai Tovey?
1091
00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:57,160
Married? You and my Dai?
1092
00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:59,120
Yes, he's my husband.
1093
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:02,040
And now I suppose you're gonna
ask me to prove it like he did.
1094
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:03,640
And so I will!
1095
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:08,120
(ALL CLAMOUR)
Hey, you can't...
1096
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:09,920
Pedlar!
1097
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:13,000
(ALL JOSTLE AND YELL)
1098
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:24,440
Ungrateful little so-and-sos
after all the hard work I've done!
1099
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:26,080
(ALL CONTINUE YELLING)
Here, now!
1100
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:28,480
Arggh!
The Adj is here!
1101
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:30,000
Get out! Go on!
1102
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,120
It's a madhouse in here! A madhouse!
1103
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,240
(STAMMERS) Arrest that woman!
1104
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:38,640
Arrest her, I say!
1105
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:41,600
(TRAIN WHISTLE TOOTS)
1106
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:51,480
It's so big, Popey.
1107
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:53,520
I'd be scared of London
if you weren't along.
1108
01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:55,440
You've never been
to the smoke before?
1109
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,240
Never.
1110
01:00:57,280 --> 01:01:00,360
And it were real nice of you,
taking me home on leave with you.
1111
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:04,080
We all need a change, mate.
Service life ain't normal, you know?
1112
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,480
Oh, it's good in some ways,
though, Popey, ain't it?
1113
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:09,440
I mean, the way we sort of
watch out for one another,
1114
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:12,720
like with you doing
all the thinking and me...
1115
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,880
Well, I'll never understand
how you squared the cookhouse rumpus
1116
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:17,680
and got us leave passes besides.
1117
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:19,360
Well, didn't she tell you?
Who?
1118
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,520
Section Officer McNaughton.
1119
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,800
No, she didn't say a word.
1120
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:26,040
She doesn't seem to want
to talk much at all anymore.
1121
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:30,120
Struth, Pedlar! You don't
even know your own strength.
1122
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:36,440
(SPEAKS INAUDIBLY)
1123
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:03,440
Shh.
1124
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:06,120
I ain't been home
in two years, Pedlar.
1125
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:13,440
Hello, Dad. It's me - Horace!
1126
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,640
This...this is my mate Pedlar.
We're on a 48.
1127
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:28,360
Give over, Dad.
Ain't you forgotten all that yet?
1128
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:39,480
Hi, Lil!
1129
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,120
Oh, Horace.
1130
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:44,360
Pedlar, this is me stepmother.
Lil, this is my oppo.
1131
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:46,240
How about making a nice cuppa?
1132
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:48,720
We could stay for an hour,
have a nice natter.
1133
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:51,040
You spoke to your dad yet?
1134
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:03,440
Come on. I'll nip back later.
1135
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:12,720
'Bye, Dad.
1136
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:14,880
Look after yourself, won't you?
1137
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:24,480
Ta-ta, Lil.
1138
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,040
Was it because you
brought me along, Popey?
1139
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:44,880
Oh, nah, he still hates me.
1140
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:48,280
See, I'm the first one of us Popes
that was ever in uniform
1141
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,080
and what the old man
will never forgive
1142
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,880
is I talked meself into it.
1143
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:56,360
But one day he's gonna get
a good rollicking from me, he is.
1144
01:03:57,360 --> 01:04:01,640
Oh, Pedlar, I wish
my own mum was still alive.
1145
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:04,680
I'd give her a bleeding
good rollicking too!
1146
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:06,240
Come on.
1147
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:10,360
(PEOPLE CHATTER)
1148
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:19,800
This here dispute is getting serious.
1149
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:23,040
Do you reckon we'll have a chance
to fight them, Popey?
1150
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,680
I can see a red light
when it's winking at me, old son.
1151
01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:28,320
Inside a month we ain't safe,
even at Craddock Wood.
1152
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:30,120
We've gotta get back to camp tonight,
1153
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:31,840
have a quick heart-to-heart
with old Corporal Gittens
1154
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:35,120
and if I lay out a quid, we ain't
gonna be on no Channel steamer.
1155
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:36,640
Well, don't look so downhearted.
1156
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:39,200
Can't you see what we're aiming
to do, Pedlar - get lost.
1157
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:41,920
What did I tell you
about reading papers?
1158
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:43,920
Don't you believe
in the war at all, Popey?
1159
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:45,400
Sure, sure.
1160
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,680
I feel sorry for the blokes
that are getting themselves killed.
1161
01:04:47,720 --> 01:04:49,480
But I look at it this way, Pedlar -
1162
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:52,320
most of them didn't have
any say about it one way or another.
1163
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:55,080
I reckon not.
Well, OK, then. Come on.
1164
01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:09,080
('THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER' PLAYS)
1165
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:15,280
(DROLL MUSIC)
1166
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:27,360
(AEROPLANE ENGINES DRONE OVERHEAD)
1167
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:29,560
(MAN WHISTLES) Hey!
1168
01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:32,000
(AMERICAN ACCENT) Come here.
1169
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:40,880
Take a peek in the parlour.
1170
01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:45,280
(MEN CHATTER ANIMATEDLY)
1171
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:47,520
Interested in a little action, boys?
1172
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:50,080
Giveaway rate of exchange today -
three and a half bucks.
1173
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:52,280
Special concession to the RAF.
1174
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:54,680
After all, we're in this war
together, you know.
1175
01:05:54,720 --> 01:05:57,320
Since when have the Yanks
made concessions?
1176
01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:00,320
Where's the RAF section?
The 'raff'? Oh, the R-A-F.
1177
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:01,960
Yeah, that's up the road apiece.
1178
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:04,880
What do you wanna go up there for?
That's our poor district.
1179
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:06,880
The real dough is in here, boys.
1180
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:08,920
Hey, did you hear
what happened yesterday?
1181
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:12,280
One of your air marshals enlisted
on our side as a buck private.
1182
01:06:12,320 --> 01:06:14,240
The poor guy wanted a pay increase.
1183
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:16,280
(SCOFFS) Come on.
1184
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:17,920
See you around, kids.
1185
01:06:17,960 --> 01:06:19,400
Hey, if you're new to the game
1186
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:21,040
we run night classes
for the natives.
1187
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:24,640
Come anytime.
Just ask for me. Buzzer's the name.
1188
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:28,560
Yanks and all their dollar-lolly.
Don't it turn your stomach?
1189
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:50,600
Oh, cheerful, ain't it?
1190
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:52,560
You sure this is the only
boozer around here?
1191
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:55,280
Oh, yeah, I know this part
of the country, Popey.
1192
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:01,680
Anyone home?! (KNOCKS)
MAN: Just a minute.
1193
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:04,360
Alright, here I am.
Sorry I kept you waiting.
1194
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,680
Didn't hear you.
Been out feeding my chickens.
1195
01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:08,800
Not that I got much
to give 'em, poor dears.
1196
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:10,280
Don't know how they keep going.
1197
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:13,480
20 of them, I got. But I think
I know the one what does it.
1198
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:16,680
Now, then, what can I do for you?
Afternoon, guv. We'll have a pint.
1199
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:18,320
Here? Oh, a pint. Yes.
1200
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,120
He won't have no beer,
you know, Popey,
1201
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:22,240
but it's good cider here,
real scrumpy.
1202
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,480
That a fact, guv?
You got nothing but cider?
1203
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:26,320
That's a fact, yes.
Cider? Yes, that's it.
1204
01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:29,240
I got cider alright. No beer.
Is that what you mean?
1205
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:32,240
Them brewers, they stopped
sending it when the war started.
1206
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:35,040
Oh, them brewers,
they're no good to me.
1207
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:37,240
No wonder the Yanks don't come here.
The Yanks...
1208
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:40,080
I'll be joining that craps game
meself just to pass the time.
1209
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:43,280
Craps game? Can't say I have time
for them Yanks myself.
1210
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:45,640
Too much hurry and scurry,
hustle and bustle.
1211
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:47,720
Yeah, well, at least they show
some enterprise, guv.
1212
01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:50,040
Oh, I know. They built
that there camp in a week.
1213
01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:52,160
I reckon we could have
done it ourselves in six
1214
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,880
without all that hurry and scurry,
hustle and bustle.
1215
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:56,760
I don't know. Yanks.
Have that on the house.
1216
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,080
Here's a cup of tea for you, boys.
1217
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:13,760
There you are. Cheers.
1218
01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:17,320
Well, I suppose
you know what you're doing.
1219
01:08:30,480 --> 01:08:33,200
Oh, half a tick, Pedlar.
I've got to have a fag.
1220
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:35,160
I ain't worked so hard
in all my life!
1221
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:39,000
Sure, Popey, you take a rest.
I'll finish this load.
1222
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:40,600
Here, Pedlar, I've been thinking.
1223
01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:43,800
You know, with a bit of capital
this place could be done up nice.
1224
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:46,520
It won't make any difference
to them Yanks what it looks like.
1225
01:08:46,560 --> 01:08:48,440
Oh, no, I'm thinking about
when the war's over.
1226
01:08:48,480 --> 01:08:51,760
Cars are here to stay.
There's bound to be bags of tourists.
1227
01:08:51,800 --> 01:08:54,480
This could be something steady.
A life, maybe.
1228
01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:57,880
You mean the two of us...
We won't have to move about anymore?
1229
01:08:57,920 --> 01:09:00,000
Well, if a bloke's got
a steady little goldmine
1230
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:01,880
there's no sense in moving, is there?
1231
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:07,480
Anyhow, as soon as that other
merchandise arrives from London
1232
01:09:07,520 --> 01:09:09,520
we can open up shop.
1233
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:20,720
(MEN JOSTLE AND CHATTER LOUDLY)
1234
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:24,440
AMERICAN: Hustle there
sweetheart! Come on.
1235
01:09:24,480 --> 01:09:26,680
Two bob, please, dear. Thank you.
1236
01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:28,960
Come on, Ivy!
Alright!
1237
01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:31,920
Thank you. Next, please!
1238
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:34,640
Was it lagers?
I haven't got any glasses.
1239
01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:36,880
Well, go and get some!
Alright.
1240
01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:38,760
Oh, get out of my way!
1241
01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:40,720
Excuse me, please.
1242
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:44,360
Come on, boys.
Give us your glasses. Thank you.
1243
01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:47,960
(MEN PLAY UPBEAT TUNE)
Enjoying yourselves?
1244
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:49,720
Thanking you.
1245
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:53,720
Empty glasses, please. Excuse me.
(MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
1246
01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:56,040
No more drinks without glasses.
1247
01:09:56,080 --> 01:09:58,240
I think we're breaking a law, Pedlar.
1248
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:01,360
Hey?
Supply and demand.
1249
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:04,520
WOMAN: Ohh!
MAN: Over here, baby.
1250
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:07,600
WOMAN 2: Who's next?
MAN 2: Over here, doll!
1251
01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:10,880
Alright, alright!
I've only got one pair of hands!
1252
01:10:10,920 --> 01:10:13,680
MAN: Hey, what's going on?
Six bob! Ta.
1253
01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:16,640
MAN 2: What are you waiting for?
1254
01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:20,120
All the hustle and bustle...
1255
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:22,000
MAN: Hey, quit shoving, will ya?
1256
01:10:22,040 --> 01:10:25,280
(ALL JOSTLE AND CHATTER)
(KNOCKING)
1257
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:26,920
What's that?
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
1258
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:29,160
I reckon somebody
can't find the door, Popey.
1259
01:10:29,200 --> 01:10:32,360
Oh, struth. When these blokes talk
of getting blind, they mean it.
1260
01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:34,480
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
1261
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:38,640
Hey, what you doing?
1262
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:41,160
And to think we're guests
in your country, Pope.
1263
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:43,280
Since when has this place
been out of bounds?
1264
01:10:43,320 --> 01:10:46,080
Since I found out you don't have
a single chaperone in the joint,
1265
01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:49,080
and my poor boys thousands of miles
from their mothers.
1266
01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:51,080
OK, Buzzer, name it.
1267
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:52,880
Are you offering me a bribe?
1268
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:54,720
No, just cash.
1269
01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:56,440
Well, that's a little embarrassing.
1270
01:10:56,480 --> 01:10:58,160
I mean, how do you negotiate
1271
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:00,800
when one of the parties
hasn't got a leg to stand on?
1272
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:03,400
It'd be a little more sporting
if I made you a proposition.
1273
01:11:03,440 --> 01:11:04,880
Like what?
1274
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:07,840
Like how are you cutting up
the gravy here with old grandad?
1275
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:12,880
He took me for a partner, 50/50.
1276
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:14,960
You don't say!
1277
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:17,400
We got 50%, hey?
1278
01:11:17,440 --> 01:11:19,080
Now, let me see.
1279
01:11:19,120 --> 01:11:21,880
If I took 90% and gave you 10%
1280
01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:25,440
well, that would still make you
a true full-fledged junior partner.
1281
01:11:25,480 --> 01:11:28,040
Congratulations, Horace.
1282
01:11:29,520 --> 01:11:32,880
Listen, Buzzer, I'll grant you
this started as only another racket
1283
01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:35,760
and maybe I should have made a deal
with you in the first place,
1284
01:11:35,800 --> 01:11:37,320
but it ain't a racket anymore.
1285
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:40,440
For the first time in me life I feel
as though I really done something.
1286
01:11:40,480 --> 01:11:42,400
I want to come back here
after the war.
1287
01:11:42,440 --> 01:11:43,920
Sure, kid, I understand.
1288
01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:45,640
So if I can raise enough capital...
1289
01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:48,040
Well, it was my idea
in the first place, wasn't it?!
1290
01:11:48,080 --> 01:11:49,880
It's always some
poor guy's idea to start with.
1291
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:51,360
Take the Wright brothers -
1292
01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:53,880
how much dough you figure they made
out of the flying machine?
1293
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:55,520
Oh, you ruddy thieving...
Oh, what's the beef?
1294
01:11:55,560 --> 01:11:57,360
I'm gonna be doing
all the work around here
1295
01:11:57,400 --> 01:11:59,000
while you two guys
will be chasing around
1296
01:11:59,040 --> 01:12:01,440
after them gorgeous French broads,
taking it easy.
1297
01:12:01,480 --> 01:12:04,200
French?
Well, I'm just guessing.
1298
01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:06,280
But I think it'll be France.
1299
01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:11,280
You two boys have been
regraded and posted.
1300
01:12:11,320 --> 01:12:13,880
You don't think I came down here
just for that, do you?
1301
01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:17,960
Better start packing your kitbag.
The transport leaves at reveille.
1302
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:20,400
Bon voyage, boys.
1303
01:12:22,280 --> 01:12:25,080
(JEEP MOTOR STARTS AND REVS)
1304
01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:29,080
Yanks. There's Yanks for you.
1305
01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:32,560
It was our war to start with,
wasn't it? Ours and Jerry's.
1306
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,440
What'd they have to
horn in on everything for?
1307
01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:46,760
(MORSE CODE BEEPING)
1308
01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:53,880
(KNOCKS)
MAN: Come in.
1309
01:12:57,640 --> 01:13:00,320
It's all been traced, sir -
soap, cigarettes, toilet paper.
1310
01:13:00,360 --> 01:13:03,160
In fact, every delivery that should
have been made by truck seven, sir.
1311
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:05,120
Well, who the hell
was responsible for truck seven?
1312
01:13:05,160 --> 01:13:06,600
I've traced that too, sir.
1313
01:13:06,640 --> 01:13:08,720
LAC Pope 148
and LAC Pascoe 213, sir.
1314
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:10,520
Well, flush 'em out, man.
Flush 'em out!
1315
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:12,000
Yes, sir.
1316
01:13:12,040 --> 01:13:14,920
I think Sergeant Ellis can tell you
more about that than I can, sir.
1317
01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:16,400
It's all very disconcerting, sir.
1318
01:13:16,440 --> 01:13:19,040
I took the liberty of making out
an interim report of their movements
1319
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:21,040
since they joined us
in October, sir.
1320
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:23,120
First issued on 01/09/44.
1321
01:13:23,160 --> 01:13:25,640
Reported missing 03/09/44.
1322
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:28,480
Located with a breakdown 05/09/44.
1323
01:13:28,520 --> 01:13:30,920
Reported missing on the 12/09/44...
1324
01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:33,000
Good God. They sound
an absolute shower!
1325
01:13:33,040 --> 01:13:35,720
Very bad types, sir. I remember
them from the pool at Black Rock.
1326
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:38,160
Then why the devil haven't you
wheeled them in here before this?
1327
01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:39,880
They've always had
a cast-iron alibi, sir.
1328
01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:42,400
Alibi? What do you mean, alibi?
1329
01:13:42,440 --> 01:13:43,880
Well, one time they had a chit
1330
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:46,120
to show they'd been commandeered
by the Ordnance Corps.
1331
01:13:46,160 --> 01:13:48,880
Another time when I thought
I had them on missing petrol
1332
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:50,720
they actually produced
civilian witnesses
1333
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,120
to vouch for a collision
with a bridge-building unit, sir.
1334
01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:55,360
Get me the service police
on the blower right away.
1335
01:13:55,400 --> 01:13:58,120
And you, Sergeant, let me have a look
at their service conduct sheets.
1336
01:13:58,160 --> 01:14:00,240
You already have them, sir,
in the file.
1337
01:14:00,280 --> 01:14:02,000
Hmm?
1338
01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:05,600
These 121s are blank,
absolutely blank.
1339
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:07,200
What is that supposed to prove?
1340
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:10,480
The really bad types always have
a clean service record, sir.
1341
01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:12,760
Good God, how?
1342
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:15,000
They bribe somebody
in the orderly room, sir,
1343
01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:17,800
to replace the crime sheet as soon
as it shows an adverse entry.
1344
01:14:17,840 --> 01:14:20,000
They do?
Yes, sir.
1345
01:14:21,120 --> 01:14:24,000
Damn clever, eh? (CHUCKLES)
1346
01:14:24,040 --> 01:14:25,200
Sir.
1347
01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:33,960
(TRUCK HORN TOOTS)
1348
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:37,000
(MEN SHOUT IN FRENCH)
1349
01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:41,560
Roll up! Roll up! Lucky lads.
1350
01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:43,040
(PEOPLE CHATTER EXCITEDLY IN FRENCH)
1351
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:45,360
Ladies et messieurs...
Uh, dames and messieurs.
1352
01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:47,080
(PEOPLE CLAMOUR)
1353
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:50,200
(SPEAKS IN BROKEN FRENCH)
Bonne marchandise!
1354
01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:52,560
Tres bon. Tres marche. Voila.
1355
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:55,600
(SPEAKS IN BROKEN FRENCH)
1356
01:14:57,240 --> 01:14:59,280
American cigarette? Lucky Strike?
1357
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:02,080
Well, not exactly, mate, but these
are OK if you smoke them outdoors.
1358
01:15:02,120 --> 01:15:04,120
They're tres marche - 200 francs.
1359
01:15:04,160 --> 01:15:05,920
200 francs?!
1360
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,560
Hey, show them
the self-heating soup, Pedlar.
1361
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:10,200
200.
Voila! Bonjour!
1362
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:12,680
You give me 100 cigarettes
as well as soap and chocolate, no?
1363
01:15:12,720 --> 01:15:14,640
OK, I'm a sucker.
Give her the stuff, Pedlar.
1364
01:15:14,680 --> 01:15:16,200
Now, gather round, mes amis.
Gather round.
1365
01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:18,040
Gumboots, coffee, gasoline.
1366
01:15:18,080 --> 01:15:19,920
Comprendez? Petrol.
Anything you want.
1367
01:15:19,960 --> 01:15:22,280
Oh, you don't know yet,
but I'm here to diddle ya.
1368
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:25,560
(ALL JOSTLE AND YELL)
Oh, yeah, is that gold? OK, yeah.
1369
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:27,240
(ALL CLAMOUR)
1370
01:15:27,280 --> 01:15:30,960
Yeah, have it.
That's two coffee, yeah?
1371
01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:35,800
What? Les Americains -
they come an hour ago.
1372
01:15:35,840 --> 01:15:37,560
Les chapeaux blancs. Vous comprenez?
1373
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:39,040
Chapeaux blancs?
Chapeaux blancs.
1374
01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:40,520
White hat?
Oui, oui.
1375
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,080
Blimey, Snowdrops - the Yank Gestapo.
1376
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:44,440
Allez, allez. Vamoose! Go on. Go!
1377
01:15:44,480 --> 01:15:46,400
ALL: Aww!
1378
01:15:57,760 --> 01:15:59,360
Hey, what's going on here?
1379
01:15:59,400 --> 01:16:02,040
Detail number 106, Flying Column,
attached to 2nd TAF.
1380
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:04,560
You might call it the RAF
on a mercy mission, Corp.
1381
01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:06,360
Let her go, Pedlar.
1382
01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:17,400
(TRUCK ENGINE CHUGS)
1383
01:16:20,880 --> 01:16:23,880
(SINGS CHEERFULLY)
1384
01:16:25,320 --> 01:16:28,240
Here, Pedlar, we ought to change
more cash into jewellery.
1385
01:16:28,280 --> 01:16:30,320
I mean, the international
trade is tricky.
1386
01:16:30,360 --> 01:16:32,880
I can't sleep at night
just thinking about the inflation.
1387
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:34,920
Something's happening,
you know, Popey.
1388
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:37,080
We've been passing
companies of men for an hour
1389
01:16:37,120 --> 01:16:39,200
and tanks and armoured troops too.
1390
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:41,880
I don't get it. Either
they're on a bum steer or we are.
1391
01:16:41,920 --> 01:16:43,360
Maybe it's the big New Year's shove.
1392
01:16:43,400 --> 01:16:46,120
I've been hearing how they was gonna
shove Jerry right out of France.
1393
01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:48,480
Well, I reckon they'd be shoving
in the other direction.
1394
01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:50,320
Maybe we're lost.
1395
01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:07,360
Another Snowdrop.
What's he after, I wonder.
1396
01:17:07,400 --> 01:17:09,680
You guys aiming on running
smack into the crowds?
1397
01:17:09,720 --> 01:17:12,440
No, we've got to dump some tyres
at an ammo dump called B-6.
1398
01:17:12,480 --> 01:17:14,560
Brother, you're way out of date.
There ain't no B-6.
1399
01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:16,960
The guys that was building it up
lit outta here yesterday.
1400
01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:18,440
Ain't you heard
about the breakthrough?
1401
01:17:18,480 --> 01:17:20,440
Well, sure. How far you blokes
push the Jerries?
1402
01:17:20,480 --> 01:17:23,760
Pushing them? Brother,
them krauts have started pushing us.
1403
01:17:23,800 --> 01:17:25,240
They're about a mile up the road.
1404
01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:26,960
There's only half a company
between them panzers
1405
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,520
and this crazy man
standing right here.
1406
01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:31,760
Oh, stone the crows. Get out of here,
Pedlar. Go back the way we came.
1407
01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:33,880
You do like I say -
stay put, wait for me.
1408
01:17:33,920 --> 01:17:35,480
I gotta make a recce up the road,
1409
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:37,320
collect some men,
get the hell out of here.
1410
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:38,840
Now you stay put. That's an order.
1411
01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:41,480
How long are you likely to be, Sarge?
1412
01:17:41,520 --> 01:17:43,040
Time it takes to say,
"Hello! Goodbye!"
1413
01:17:43,080 --> 01:17:45,680
What do you think? I'm staying
around to celebrate New Year's?
1414
01:17:49,320 --> 01:17:50,800
(TRUCK DOOR SHUTS)
1415
01:17:54,360 --> 01:17:56,160
(RAPID GUNFIRE IN DISTANCE)
1416
01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:58,720
Hark at that. Just hark at it.
1417
01:17:58,760 --> 01:18:03,600
Panzers, he said. There must be half
the ruddy German army in there.
1418
01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:09,160
(GUNFIRE BECOMES LOUDER)
1419
01:18:10,760 --> 01:18:13,080
Here, Pedlar, can you turn
her around without ditching her?
1420
01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:14,720
I reckon we can get
the boards under.
1421
01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:17,360
Then get moving. We're getting
out of here while there's still time.
1422
01:18:18,360 --> 01:18:20,120
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
1423
01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:23,520
We...we can't do that, Popey.
We can't run off and leave them.
1424
01:18:23,560 --> 01:18:25,760
What?
No, we can't do it.
1425
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:28,720
Are you barmy? Just because
a Yankee sergeant says so?
1426
01:18:28,760 --> 01:18:31,760
We ain't under Yank orders.
We got no rights to be here at all.
1427
01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:33,840
It don't matter, Popey.
We still can't do it.
1428
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:37,200
We gotta wait here like he said
and you know it.
1429
01:18:40,600 --> 01:18:42,920
Alright, since you're so keen
1430
01:18:42,960 --> 01:18:44,920
on winning the flippin'
Victoria Cross...
1431
01:18:48,240 --> 01:18:49,880
MAN: Hey!
1432
01:18:50,920 --> 01:18:53,280
Hey, stop! Wait for us!
(GUNFIRE IN DISTANCE)
1433
01:18:53,320 --> 01:18:54,760
Hey, wait a moment!
1434
01:18:54,800 --> 01:18:56,600
We'll get this lot aboard,
then we're moving out
1435
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:58,640
if I have to drive
the bloody thing meself.
1436
01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:01,080
Get aboard.
Jump in the back, all of ya.
1437
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:03,320
Which is the fastest way
to the main highway?
1438
01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:05,680
Straight back the way we came in.
This all there is?
1439
01:19:05,720 --> 01:19:07,200
Yes. Back up this vehicle.
1440
01:19:07,240 --> 01:19:08,920
What about the Snowdrop?
Snowdrop?
1441
01:19:08,960 --> 01:19:10,720
The narc, the copper, the sergeant!
1442
01:19:10,760 --> 01:19:15,360
These are all that survived. Reverse
this vehicle at once, driver.
1443
01:19:16,520 --> 01:19:19,240
(STARTS ENGINE)
1444
01:19:20,520 --> 01:19:22,720
Hey, stop, stop!
1445
01:19:26,960 --> 01:19:29,440
(SPEAKS IN GERMAN)
1446
01:19:29,480 --> 01:19:32,520
(WHISPERS) He stowed aboard
with a load of bleeding Jerries.
1447
01:19:35,120 --> 01:19:36,680
Why, you murdering...
1448
01:20:08,880 --> 01:20:11,560
(POPE RETCHES)
1449
01:20:12,560 --> 01:20:15,080
Got every single one of them, Popey.
1450
01:20:15,120 --> 01:20:17,640
Shut up about it, won't you?
1451
01:20:23,120 --> 01:20:25,080
(FIRE CRACKLES SOFTLY)
1452
01:20:29,840 --> 01:20:32,040
Snowdrop's coffee.
1453
01:20:34,240 --> 01:20:35,840
Did...did they get him?
1454
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:37,680
I'll hot it up, Popey.
1455
01:20:38,680 --> 01:20:40,280
We...we gotta
get out of here, Pedlar.
1456
01:20:40,320 --> 01:20:41,920
I reckon these woods
are swarming with Jerries.
1457
01:20:41,960 --> 01:20:43,640
I don't think
you're ready to walk yet.
1458
01:20:43,680 --> 01:20:46,480
Walk?
Yeah, that lorry's u/s.
1459
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:49,120
Them bullets ripped open
the petrol tank.
1460
01:20:51,280 --> 01:20:53,040
What the hell can we do?
1461
01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:55,000
Like I said, we could
start walking back.
1462
01:20:55,040 --> 01:20:56,480
On that road?
1463
01:20:56,520 --> 01:20:59,280
If we ain't murdered, we'll get run
over by Hitler's flippin' staff car.
1464
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:00,920
There's no other way, Popey.
1465
01:21:00,960 --> 01:21:02,880
And in that lorry
we got grub and guns.
1466
01:21:02,920 --> 01:21:04,840
There's plenty of guns and ammo.
1467
01:21:06,120 --> 01:21:08,440
You wait here. I'll go fetch them.
1468
01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:15,680
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE)
1469
01:21:35,040 --> 01:21:37,280
(GUNSHOTS)
1470
01:21:40,160 --> 01:21:42,440
There's more of 'em.
We gotta pack it in, Pedlar.
1471
01:21:42,480 --> 01:21:45,560
I reckon not, and I don't think
they'd take us prisoner.
1472
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:47,040
You mean they'd...
1473
01:21:47,080 --> 01:21:48,680
Especially after
what we did to them others.
1474
01:21:48,720 --> 01:21:50,160
Well, we've gotta chance it.
1475
01:21:50,200 --> 01:21:52,640
Wave a handkerchief or something,
show them we're packing it in.
1476
01:21:52,680 --> 01:21:55,160
Look, Popey, he's over there
by that clump of bushes.
1477
01:21:56,160 --> 01:21:59,000
You cover me while I get over there
where I can pop him.
1478
01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:01,120
Are you nuts?
Do you mean to fight the bleeders?
1479
01:22:01,160 --> 01:22:02,880
Two of us against
the whole ruddy army?
1480
01:22:02,920 --> 01:22:05,600
They'll serve us up
like a dog's di...
1481
01:22:06,960 --> 01:22:08,120
(GUNSHOT)
1482
01:22:10,320 --> 01:22:13,320
(GUNFIRE)
1483
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:17,000
Can you see him, Pedlar?
Don't you move, Popey!
1484
01:22:17,040 --> 01:22:18,920
(GUNSHOT)
1485
01:22:25,640 --> 01:22:27,840
Don't move!
1486
01:22:29,640 --> 01:22:32,640
(GUNFIRE)
1487
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:43,320
Back to the hut, Popey!
1488
01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:45,080
Quick!
1489
01:22:45,120 --> 01:22:47,880
(GUNSHOTS)
1490
01:22:55,400 --> 01:22:58,000
To get at us they'd have
to come out into the open.
1491
01:22:58,040 --> 01:23:00,480
I think that's why they
waited for us to come out.
1492
01:23:00,520 --> 01:23:02,040
What happens when it gets dark?
1493
01:23:02,080 --> 01:23:05,080
The minute it's dark enough, Pedlar,
we don't stand an earthly.
1494
01:23:05,120 --> 01:23:09,960
Without light, Popey,
we've got no reason to be happy.
1495
01:23:19,360 --> 01:23:20,920
Pedlar, you're a genius!
1496
01:23:20,960 --> 01:23:23,560
Now if you can give me
some cover, Popey...
1497
01:23:25,440 --> 01:23:28,240
You ready?
Right.
1498
01:23:30,480 --> 01:23:32,880
(FIRES)
1499
01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:41,280
(GUNSHOTS)
1500
01:23:47,480 --> 01:23:50,480
(SILENCE)
1501
01:23:52,880 --> 01:23:55,880
(INSECTS CHIRP)
1502
01:24:01,560 --> 01:24:04,000
For God's sake, burn!
1503
01:24:08,440 --> 01:24:10,400
It's done it, Pedlar!
1504
01:24:15,640 --> 01:24:19,440
Right. Now let them try
nipping across that little patch.
1505
01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:21,920
We'll have it looking like
a knacker's yard!
1506
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:27,880
Will it burn all night, Pedlar?
1507
01:24:27,920 --> 01:24:30,640
With all them tyres
in the back it should.
1508
01:24:32,840 --> 01:24:35,040
But suppose it don't?
1509
01:24:36,920 --> 01:24:39,680
There's nothing more we can do.
1510
01:24:40,880 --> 01:24:42,480
Proper carry-on, isn't it?
1511
01:24:42,520 --> 01:24:44,400
It is that.
1512
01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:49,960
You've been a flippin'
good oppo, Pedlar.
1513
01:25:00,200 --> 01:25:02,760
(BIRDS CHIRP)
1514
01:25:08,560 --> 01:25:10,000
Any sign of them?
1515
01:25:10,040 --> 01:25:12,520
No sign at all.
1516
01:25:12,560 --> 01:25:14,320
Alright?
1517
01:25:23,480 --> 01:25:26,000
Pedlar, the lorry...
It's all burned out!
1518
01:25:26,040 --> 01:25:28,600
There ain't nothing left of it!
It's all burned to a cinder!
1519
01:25:28,640 --> 01:25:30,440
I can see that, Popey.
1520
01:25:31,880 --> 01:25:34,160
Do you know something?
Do you know what we've done?
1521
01:25:34,200 --> 01:25:36,400
The bag, the cash,
all them trinkets...
1522
01:25:36,440 --> 01:25:38,240
We've burned all our capital.
1523
01:25:38,280 --> 01:25:40,760
We're back where we started!
We're skint!
1524
01:25:40,800 --> 01:25:43,800
It's right, isn't it?
I never give it a thought.
1525
01:25:43,840 --> 01:25:46,200
Yeah, but we're still here.
1526
01:25:46,240 --> 01:25:48,920
Is that all you can say?
The work of three years?
1527
01:25:48,960 --> 01:25:51,840
It ain't even got any sentimental
value for you, you big stupid...
1528
01:25:51,880 --> 01:25:54,800
Shh!
(RUMBLING IN DISTANCE)
1529
01:25:54,840 --> 01:25:57,560
Tanks, troop carriers, heavy stuff.
1530
01:25:57,600 --> 01:25:59,680
Where, though? Which way?
1531
01:25:59,720 --> 01:26:03,440
It's coming this way alright,
about a mile away.
1532
01:26:03,480 --> 01:26:05,400
Maybe they've gone
round behind us in the night
1533
01:26:05,440 --> 01:26:06,960
and they're boxing us in.
1534
01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:10,040
We can't fight a whole panzer group
with popguns, can we?
1535
01:26:10,080 --> 01:26:12,120
Come on.
1536
01:26:14,600 --> 01:26:17,600
(ENGINES RUMBLE IN DISTANCE)
1537
01:26:32,040 --> 01:26:34,640
Don't fire or anything, Popey.
Just let them pass by.
1538
01:26:34,680 --> 01:26:36,320
What do you think?
1539
01:26:41,800 --> 01:26:44,400
It's Yan...it's Yanks, Pedlar.
1540
01:26:44,440 --> 01:26:47,520
I think it's Yanks,
a whole flippin' army of them!
1541
01:26:47,560 --> 01:26:49,840
Don't move, Popey.
1542
01:26:49,880 --> 01:26:53,120
What are we gonna do,
just...just let them go by?
1543
01:26:53,160 --> 01:26:56,000
One of them fellas
might be a bit nervous.
1544
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:04,120
Hey, ya!
1545
01:27:04,160 --> 01:27:06,200
Hello there!
1546
01:27:13,320 --> 01:27:16,400
Hi, Yanks! OK?
1547
01:27:17,480 --> 01:27:19,280
OK?
1548
01:27:19,320 --> 01:27:22,080
MAN: A limey! What do ya know?
MAN 2: RAF.
1549
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:24,240
MAN 3: Hey, what are you
doing way out here?
1550
01:27:24,280 --> 01:27:25,960
MAN 4: Alright, buddy, come on down!
1551
01:27:26,000 --> 01:27:28,280
MAN: Certainly didn't expect
to see one of them down here.
1552
01:27:28,320 --> 01:27:32,240
POPE: Strike me down. I never thought
I'd be glad to see a Yank! Ha-ha!
1553
01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:34,000
(ALL LAUGH)
Hi, Yanks!
1554
01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:36,160
Come on, buddy. Come on.
1555
01:27:36,200 --> 01:27:39,200
(TYPEWRITERS CLICK)
1556
01:27:43,720 --> 01:27:46,840
Excuse me, sir.
This has just come through.
1557
01:27:46,880 --> 01:27:48,440
It seems to have originated
1558
01:27:48,480 --> 01:27:50,640
from the American sector
in the Ardennes, sir.
1559
01:27:50,680 --> 01:27:55,600
"Reference 148 Pope, 213 Pascoe,
1560
01:27:55,640 --> 01:27:58,680
"Leading Aircraftsmen
at present attached
1561
01:27:58,720 --> 01:28:02,160
"to number 109
supply and transport column.
1562
01:28:02,200 --> 01:28:05,120
"For fighting unsupported
rear-guard action
1563
01:28:05,160 --> 01:28:07,840
"over a period of 18 hours,
1564
01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:12,320
"personally accounting for six
of the enemy with captured weapons,
1565
01:28:12,360 --> 01:28:16,160
"recommended by USA officer
of field rank
1566
01:28:16,200 --> 01:28:20,440
"for American decorations
for gallantry and initiative
1567
01:28:20,480 --> 01:28:23,320
"over and above the call of duty."
1568
01:28:23,360 --> 01:28:27,840
Isn't it wizard, sir?
Our bods! Really our bods!
1569
01:28:27,880 --> 01:28:30,120
(CHUCKLES) Well...
1570
01:28:32,040 --> 01:28:34,200
Well, what are you
going to do, Bingo?
1571
01:28:34,240 --> 01:28:36,520
I mean, there's this long list
of their deficiencies.
1572
01:28:36,560 --> 01:28:41,360
What do you think? Stick my neck out,
put up a black with the Yanks?
1573
01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:43,760
No, I'm going to chip in
1574
01:28:43,800 --> 01:28:47,240
with the biggest and brightest gong
we can rustle up, old man.
1575
01:28:47,280 --> 01:28:51,400
Now get me chairborne command -
awards and decorations.
1576
01:28:51,440 --> 01:28:54,440
(BAND PLAYS MILITARY FANFARE)
1577
01:29:16,480 --> 01:29:20,560
MAN: Company, present arms!
1578
01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:28,520
Company, order arms!
1579
01:29:31,120 --> 01:29:32,680
They could stick all their medals
1580
01:29:32,720 --> 01:29:35,440
if only we had what was
in that flippin' tool kit.
1581
01:29:35,480 --> 01:29:37,160
I don't worry about
the money, Popey.
1582
01:29:37,200 --> 01:29:39,520
You don't?
Well, it was half yours, wasn't it?
1583
01:29:39,560 --> 01:29:41,560
I was always meaning
to give you half, Pedlar.
1584
01:29:41,600 --> 01:29:43,560
Of course, there's no way
of proving it now,
1585
01:29:43,600 --> 01:29:45,040
but you gotta believe me, Pedlar.
1586
01:29:45,080 --> 01:29:47,760
I was always meaning
to give you half. I swear.
1587
01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:50,800
(BAND PLAYS FANFARE)
1588
01:29:59,640 --> 01:30:01,400
Well done.
1589
01:30:23,320 --> 01:30:25,000
Excuse me, sir.
1590
01:30:25,040 --> 01:30:26,880
Signal for Pope.
Alright.
1591
01:30:26,920 --> 01:30:29,480
Top priority from
Eisenhower's headquarters.
1592
01:30:31,040 --> 01:30:32,880
Well, go on.
1593
01:30:38,520 --> 01:30:40,280
BUZZER'S VOICE: Dear junior partner,
1594
01:30:40,320 --> 01:30:43,440
shocked to read you were trying
to win the war - stop.
1595
01:30:43,480 --> 01:30:45,600
Are you nuts - stop.
1596
01:30:45,640 --> 01:30:47,240
Peace can only kill business here
1597
01:30:47,280 --> 01:30:49,600
so I'm quitting
while still ahead - stop.
1598
01:30:49,640 --> 01:30:52,840
Good luck, love and kisses, Buzzer.
1599
01:30:52,880 --> 01:30:54,400
(AEROPLANE ENGINE DRONES OVERHEAD)
1600
01:30:54,440 --> 01:30:57,040
(SHEEP BLEAT)
1601
01:30:57,080 --> 01:30:59,640
All we need is a little attraction
to bring in the customers,
1602
01:30:59,680 --> 01:31:01,520
so as soon as my mate
Pedlar gets here
1603
01:31:01,560 --> 01:31:03,200
we'll search the neighbourhood
for some Roman ruins.
1604
01:31:03,240 --> 01:31:04,680
(MUTTERS) Roman ruins...
1605
01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:06,960
In fact, I know a bloke
in London who makes them.
1606
01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:08,920
And if we have to, we can dig up
1607
01:31:08,960 --> 01:31:10,400
'Cleopatra's Barge'
out of the backyard.
1608
01:31:10,440 --> 01:31:13,760
'Cleopatra's Barge'...
(HORN HONKS)
1609
01:31:13,800 --> 01:31:16,520
Hello! That's my oppo.
1610
01:31:22,040 --> 01:31:24,000
Hello, Popey!
Pedlar, old son! Ha-ha!
1611
01:31:24,040 --> 01:31:26,320
Oh, you...
1612
01:31:26,360 --> 01:31:29,080
Hello, Horace.
1613
01:31:29,120 --> 01:31:31,360
(LAUGHS)
1614
01:31:31,400 --> 01:31:34,640
Cor, love a duck!
1615
01:31:34,680 --> 01:31:37,640
(UPBEAT MILITARY MUSIC)
1616
01:31:37,680 --> 01:31:41,680
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