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(electronic music)
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("Theme from Doctor Detroit" by Devo)
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♪ Don't you stop ♪
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00:00:50,427 --> 00:00:53,345
♪ Don't you wonder why ♪
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00:00:53,346 --> 00:00:56,265
♪ Life itself pops in ♪
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♪ And takes you by surprise ♪
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♪ Don't you try to run ♪
8
00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:05,065
♪ It gets you from behind ♪
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♪ Like a common cold ♪
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♪ It takes you for a ride ♪
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♪ Don't you stop to think ♪
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♪ Don't you even try ♪
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♪ Call the doctor ♪
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- Five eighths of a mile.
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Less corrections for construction zones.
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Bus traffic, lake clearance,
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adjusted ETA downtown is
now three minutes plus ten.
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Counting down.
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♪ Call the doctor ♪
20
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(children laughing)
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- Bye!
22
00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:55,866
♪ Don't you stop ♪
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♪ Don't you wonder why ♪
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00:01:58,745 --> 00:02:01,413
♪ Life itself pops in ♪
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00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:04,458
♪ And takes you by surprise ♪
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00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:07,670
♪ Don't you try to run ♪
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- Hey!
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00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:14,260
Hey, look.
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00:02:16,888 --> 00:02:19,306
- Some kinda nut, look at him!
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- Loves his exercise.
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00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:21,309
- Mm-hmm.
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- Hey, man!
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Nice legs!
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- Thank you!
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♪ Now is the time ♪
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♪ To call the doctor ♪
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♪ This is a serious case ♪
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♪ There's not much time ♪
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♪ To call the doctor ♪
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♪ They love to watch him operate ♪
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- Ow!
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Sweet thing, how you doing, baby?
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- Good morning, baby, how are you?
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- All right.
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Good morning, Miss Blittstein.
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- Diavolo, fix your
shirt, you're so sloppy.
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- [Man] Come on, girls, let's go to work.
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♪ It comes and goes ♪
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♪ So call the doctor ♪
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♪ They need a special technique ♪
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♪ It grows and grows ♪
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♪ Now call the doctor ♪
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♪ Calling out for Doctor Detroit ♪
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- Hey, boss, check out the geek.
55
00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:10,232
- Yeah, I want you to see this guy.
56
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Slow down, Diavolo.
57
00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:21,952
- Oh, it's the same guy.
58
00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:22,745
He's cute.
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- He's got nice legs for a geek.
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- You're right.
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- Forget it, we're late.
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Let's go, Diavolo.
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(water splashes)
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- Marvelous.
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00:03:41,556 --> 00:03:43,515
- [Man] Well, anchors away, sweetheart.
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00:03:43,516 --> 00:03:47,019
- [Blittstein] Don't forget
to take your Dramamine!
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00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,520
- Oh, come on, Jasmine, baby!
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00:03:48,521 --> 00:03:50,814
What can he do that I can't do?
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- He has a boat.
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00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,866
- Good afternoon, ma'am.
71
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:01,867
- Hi, Stretch!
72
00:04:01,868 --> 00:04:05,580
Are you getting taller
or did I break a heel?
73
00:04:06,873 --> 00:04:08,373
- Facutly pension checks
aren't supposed to bounce,
74
00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:09,167
are they?
75
00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,922
Here comes young Skridlow.
76
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,592
- Good afternoon, Skridlow.
77
00:04:18,593 --> 00:04:19,719
Right on time.
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00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,263
- Finished classes, six miles
into town to the faculty club
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00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,557
as usual, and now I'm indulging myself.
80
00:04:25,558 --> 00:04:27,267
Dinner out and a movie.
81
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,144
- Ah.
- Bye.
82
00:04:34,651 --> 00:04:36,735
- Look, I paid 50 dollars for this tie
83
00:04:36,736 --> 00:04:38,570
and I think it looks great, okay?
84
00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:39,404
- [Diavolo] Yeah, well, I woulda
85
00:04:39,405 --> 00:04:40,280
bought the other one, you know?
86
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,241
- I didn't hire you to
be a fashion consultant,
87
00:04:42,242 --> 00:04:43,492
I hired you to drive.
88
00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:46,203
So please, just drive, hmm?
89
00:04:46,204 --> 00:04:48,747
- (faking accent) Well, one day
I'm gonna have my own driver
90
00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:51,375
because I am gonna be an actor.
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00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:52,417
- Look, Diavolo, just cut the
92
00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:55,045
Sidney Poitier impressions, okay?
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00:04:55,046 --> 00:04:57,881
- They'll call me Mr. Diavolo.
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- Fine.
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(tires squealing)
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00:05:01,261 --> 00:05:02,094
- Hey, wait a second, man,
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what the fuck's going on here?
98
00:05:04,389 --> 00:05:05,222
- Who is it?
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00:05:05,223 --> 00:05:06,056
- Says moms.
100
00:05:06,057 --> 00:05:08,101
That's one of Mom's cars!
101
00:05:11,271 --> 00:05:15,941
Hey, man, where the fuck you
get your driver's license, man?
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(horn honking)
103
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- Hey, Smooth!
104
00:05:19,988 --> 00:05:22,114
- Yeah, here's the Yul Brynner clones.
105
00:05:22,115 --> 00:05:24,449
- Hey, Smooth Walker!
106
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- Me?
107
00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:27,995
- Yeah, you, you son of a bitch!
108
00:05:27,996 --> 00:05:30,414
Mom wants to see ya!
109
00:05:30,415 --> 00:05:31,290
- Silly me, I...
110
00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:33,959
I thought we were in the
middle of a motorcade here.
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00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,461
Aren't you boys on your way
to the cue ball convention?
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00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:38,171
- Yeah, you...
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00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,006
(car bumping)
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00:05:39,007 --> 00:05:39,965
- Hey, man, watch it, asshole!
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00:05:39,966 --> 00:05:41,717
- Just be cool and drive, okay, Diavolo?
116
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:43,468
- Say, Jack, you know I
just had this motherfucker
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00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:44,594
washed and waxed?
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- Diavolo, just be cool, be cool.
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- [Diavolo] Say, boss, you
want me to lose these assholes?
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(tires screeching)
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- Come on, get out!
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Let's go!
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- Take it easy.
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- Mom's waiting!
125
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- Take it easy on the suit.
126
00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:13,123
Look, you want the
Asshole of the Year award?
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You have my vote, okay?
128
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:15,960
Take it easy, Johnny.
129
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Okay, okay, guys.
130
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Listen, I can walk by myself, okay?
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What are you guys, training wheels?
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00:06:27,597 --> 00:06:32,142
Hi, Mom, it's a pleasure
to see you as always.
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00:06:32,143 --> 00:06:34,437
- You owe me 80,000 dollars.
134
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- Uh-uh, 60.
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00:06:37,273 --> 00:06:39,232
I'm a couple of months behind.
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- 80.
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The 20,000 extra is a
late payment penalty.
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00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,114
There are lots of other
penalties, you know.
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- (scoffs) Look, Mom, I'm doing my best.
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I mean, I got over--
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00:06:49,494 --> 00:06:51,078
- Shut up.
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The only reason you're
walking around with both knees
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is 'cause you got a class act. (snorts)
144
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I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
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You give me your money, your girls,
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everything else you got.
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00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,258
Call it even.
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00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,927
- What about me?
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00:07:06,928 --> 00:07:08,178
- I'll let you live.
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(high pitched giggling)
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Quiet!
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- Mom...
153
00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:13,683
I mean, you know how
things work in this town.
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Now, if it was up to me alone,
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I'd be thrilled to settle
this thing with you,
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but well...
157
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,900
I got a new partner.
158
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- Another partner?
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00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:28,574
- This guy, this dude from Detroit.
160
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Uh, he just moved in on me.
161
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:32,536
- Detroit?
162
00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:33,453
Oh, are you kidding?
163
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,163
I know people in Detroit.
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00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:36,331
- Not this guy.
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00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:38,583
I mean, he's too big, he's too bad.
166
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He's as bad as you are,
167
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,629
maybe even badder.
168
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,464
I'm scared, Mom.
169
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:45,841
And that's why I...
170
00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:48,052
I go along with the Doctor.
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- The Doctor?
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- Yeah.
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Doctor.
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Doctor Detroit.
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I don't know if he's really from Detroit,
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maybe that's just a handle he uses.
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00:08:01,357 --> 00:08:03,984
- You mean you let this
jerk-off muscle in on Mom?
178
00:08:03,985 --> 00:08:05,152
Just let him without...
179
00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:06,528
Just let him in?
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00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,321
- I was scared, Mom.
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00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,699
He's a scary guy.
182
00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:13,285
- I gotta meet this Doctor.
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00:08:13,286 --> 00:08:14,119
I'll...
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00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,204
I'll see if I can arrange a meeting.
185
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:18,957
But do me a favor, Mom,
just leave me out of it.
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00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:20,917
I have suffered enough.
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00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:22,794
- Okay, boys, turn him loose.
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00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:26,006
If he gets outta line, you
can have him for lunch.
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00:08:26,007 --> 00:08:27,632
- What?
190
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,677
What is it with you guys?
191
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Diavolo.
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00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:36,641
- Where to, boss?
193
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:39,060
- Australia, South Pole...
194
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:39,895
China, okay?
195
00:08:39,896 --> 00:08:41,438
- Well, I gotta stop and
get gas, you know that.
196
00:08:41,439 --> 00:08:43,523
- (sighs) Just drive, okay?
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00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,317
Please?
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00:08:47,487 --> 00:08:50,114
(motor revving)
199
00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:54,494
(screeching)
200
00:09:03,044 --> 00:09:04,377
- Hey, man, I hate to say this again,
201
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,547
but you got your little
fuzzy white ass in a crack.
202
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,549
And you know there isn't
any Doctor Detroit.
203
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,092
You just pissed away the money!
204
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:13,178
- Please, I know what I did.
205
00:09:13,179 --> 00:09:15,639
I am trying to figure a way out.
206
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:16,473
- Yeah, okay.
207
00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:17,766
Okay, well, you just remember that you
208
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:20,185
didn't spend any of that money on me.
209
00:09:20,186 --> 00:09:22,187
- It doesn't matter, bro.
210
00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:25,190
You are in this with me,
I am not going down alone.
211
00:09:25,191 --> 00:09:26,525
- Wait a second, man, what
are you talking about, man?
212
00:09:26,526 --> 00:09:28,610
It's not my fault that
you spent all that money
213
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,570
on those clothes, those shoes,
214
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,572
this big gas guzzling tank
215
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,949
and that penthouse of yours!
216
00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:35,825
- Diavolo, I didn't say it was your fault,
217
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,494
I said it was your problem.
218
00:09:37,495 --> 00:09:41,122
Now we have to find
ourselves a patsy, okay?
219
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:43,500
- Now, what kinda patsy you talking about?
220
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:45,293
- I don't know.
221
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:49,214
Just somebody who could be Doctor Detroit,
222
00:09:49,215 --> 00:09:51,132
whatever the hell that is.
223
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,176
Just a yo-yo.
224
00:09:53,678 --> 00:09:56,054
- Where are you gonna
find a geek like that?
225
00:09:56,055 --> 00:09:58,516
(funky music)
226
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:04,354
- Mulligatawny soup, lamb
vindaloo, alu parathas,
227
00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:07,107
saag, all on the special?
228
00:10:07,108 --> 00:10:07,900
Perfect!
229
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:12,404
- Excuse me, please.
230
00:10:12,405 --> 00:10:14,322
Pardon me, sir.
231
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:15,156
And for you.
232
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:16,199
- Guptar!
233
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,867
- Mr. Skridlow, welcome.
234
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,036
- Namaste.
235
00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:22,289
Please, this way.
236
00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:24,416
Mr. Skridlow, the lamb vindaloo is
237
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:26,126
very, very good this evening.
238
00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:27,836
- That's just what I was thinking.
239
00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:29,004
- What a coincidence.
240
00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:31,047
I will bring the waiter over right away.
241
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,382
Thank you.
- Thank you.
242
00:10:32,383 --> 00:10:33,425
- Thank you.
243
00:10:33,426 --> 00:10:34,218
Thank you.
244
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,971
- [Jasmine] So he wears this
little sailor suit, right?
245
00:10:37,972 --> 00:10:38,805
- [Brillstein] Vomit.
246
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,015
(ladies laughing)
247
00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:42,809
- And I do my best Flower
of the Orient number.
248
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:43,643
- Jasmine!
249
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:46,563
- Like it's 1931 and we're
in the long bar in Shanghai.
250
00:10:46,564 --> 00:10:48,774
- Mm, that sounds like fun.
251
00:10:49,734 --> 00:10:51,276
- Till we play find the gunboat.
252
00:10:51,277 --> 00:10:54,362
- Okay!
(all laughing)
253
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:56,615
- Hey, isn't that the funny
looking guy with the great legs?
254
00:10:56,616 --> 00:10:58,158
- Ooh, yeah!
255
00:10:58,159 --> 00:11:00,243
Great legs, nice tushie.
256
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:01,620
I think he's cute!
257
00:11:01,621 --> 00:11:02,579
Hi, honey!
258
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:03,496
- Shh, Karen!
259
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:04,456
- Oh, he didn't hear me.
260
00:11:04,457 --> 00:11:05,373
- Look, I don't want people...
261
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:08,085
(Karen laughing)
262
00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:12,756
- Hiya, girls, I'm sorry I'm late.
263
00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:13,715
- Hi, honey.
264
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:14,549
- Where have you been?
265
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:15,383
- Hey, you made it.
266
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,217
- Just barely.
267
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:17,052
Uh, bourbon, no ice.
268
00:11:17,053 --> 00:11:17,886
Double.
269
00:11:17,887 --> 00:11:18,720
- What's the matter, Smoothie?
270
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:19,846
You had a rough day, honey?
271
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,389
- Nah, been talking business all day long.
272
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:24,142
Just money, money, blah
blah bleh, you know.
273
00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:25,226
- And?
274
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:27,896
- And everything is fine.
275
00:11:27,897 --> 00:11:29,564
Girls, girls!
276
00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:31,650
Look, it takes a lot of time and energy
277
00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:34,402
just to cover our
investments every day, okay?
278
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,154
I don't wanna talk about it during dinner.
279
00:11:36,155 --> 00:11:36,988
- Okay.
280
00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:38,657
- Okay.
- Fine.
281
00:11:38,658 --> 00:11:41,702
- Hey, Smooth, look, your old friend.
282
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,956
- Son of a bitch!
283
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,125
- Here we are, sir.
284
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:49,959
- Yeah, uh, listen,
285
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,212
you see the guy over here?
286
00:11:52,213 --> 00:11:55,090
The four eyed gentleman with
his nose buried in the book?
287
00:11:55,091 --> 00:11:56,132
- Sir?
288
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:59,219
- The guy with the seat
cover sport jacket.
289
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:00,095
- Yes, sir.
290
00:12:00,096 --> 00:12:01,429
- I wanna buy him a drink.
291
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,263
- Yes, sir.
292
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:03,098
- No!
293
00:12:03,099 --> 00:12:03,932
Uh...
294
00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:06,142
I wanna buy him dinner.
295
00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:07,185
- Very good, sir.
296
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:08,019
- Chop chop.
297
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:10,772
- [Jasmine] Mm, generous.
298
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:11,690
- Excuse me, sir,
299
00:12:11,691 --> 00:12:13,400
but the gentleman at
the table opposite you
300
00:12:13,401 --> 00:12:14,651
with the young ladies,
301
00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:16,820
would like you to join them for dinner.
302
00:12:16,821 --> 00:12:17,987
- Really?
303
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,489
I can't believe it.
304
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:20,825
- Sell it, girls.
305
00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:24,786
- I wonder what the man could want.
306
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,706
Homosexual come on, maybe.
307
00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:29,040
No, he couldn't be gay,
308
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:31,668
not with all those beautiful women.
309
00:12:31,669 --> 00:12:35,130
And even if he is, maybe they're not.
310
00:12:35,131 --> 00:12:37,632
What harm in accepting
the man's hospitality?
311
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:41,469
But no free lunch in this world, say I.
312
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:43,513
I can thank him, though.
313
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:44,931
Yes.
314
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,307
Yes, I'll thank him.
315
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,769
That's the decent thing to do.
316
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,692
Uh, this is most unexpected.
317
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,153
Uh, do I know you?
318
00:12:58,237 --> 00:13:02,407
Perhaps you were in my Comp
Lit 101 class at Monroe?
319
00:13:02,408 --> 00:13:04,325
- I don't believe so.
320
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:05,535
- Excuse me.
321
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:06,786
I'm Jasmine.
322
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,329
- Yeah, and I'm totally thoughtless.
323
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,498
Allow me to introduce everyone.
324
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:12,041
This is Karen.
325
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,043
And I'm Smooth Walker.
326
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:15,628
This is Monica.
- Hello.
327
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,838
- Jasmine, of course,
328
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,215
and this is Thelma.
329
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:20,049
And you are?
330
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,426
- Uh, Clifford Skridlow.
331
00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:23,344
My friends call me Cliff.
332
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,429
- Cliff!
333
00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:25,764
Oh, how cute!
334
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,766
(all laughing)
335
00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:29,976
- Well, join us, Cliff.
336
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,561
- Uh, well, I...
337
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:32,687
I've already ordered, uh...
338
00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,397
- Why don't I have Mr. Skridlow's dinner
339
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:35,940
brought to this table?
340
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:36,775
- Why don't you?
341
00:13:36,776 --> 00:13:37,568
- Great.
342
00:13:39,195 --> 00:13:40,028
- Uh...
343
00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:42,280
- Here comes that chair,
Cliff, just slip right in.
344
00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:44,699
We'll have another fresh drink
for our new friend, Cliff.
345
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:47,410
- Oh, how very gracious of you.
346
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:51,164
- Can you tell us anything at
all about this tandoori thing?
347
00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,832
- Oh, you ordered the tandoori?
348
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,834
Well, uh, you're going to enjoy it.
349
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,377
It's really a marvelous technique.
350
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,671
It's a miniature clay
oven, completely enclosed,
351
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,424
a marinade and the heat of the oven
352
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:04,636
and the enclosure on
top, keeps the juices in
353
00:14:04,637 --> 00:14:08,807
and uh, thus causes the
meat to come out pink.
354
00:14:08,808 --> 00:14:10,183
- Ooh, I love it!
355
00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:12,978
- (laughs) Karen!
356
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:16,105
- Thank you for coming, sir.
357
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,190
- Thank you, my good man.
358
00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:19,150
- That was good.
359
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:20,401
- I got it, honey.
360
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,236
- Here's your car, Mr. Walker.
361
00:14:21,237 --> 00:14:22,070
(snaps fingers)
362
00:14:22,071 --> 00:14:23,614
- Come on, come on.
363
00:14:24,657 --> 00:14:25,657
- Ooh!
364
00:14:25,658 --> 00:14:27,575
Fresh air gives one a decided lift.
365
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:28,660
- Doesn't it? (laughs)
366
00:14:28,661 --> 00:14:30,453
- Well, I'm off to the Cinema Obscura,
367
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:31,955
it's the last night of the Satyajit Ray
368
00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:33,039
Pather Panchali trilogy and uh...
369
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,249
- No, no, no.
370
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,291
- I'd like to catch it, so thank you.
371
00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:36,376
- Cliff, Cliff, don't worry about it.
372
00:14:36,377 --> 00:14:38,419
I got the whole thing on video cassette.
373
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,046
Pather Panchali, the whole trilogy,
374
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,298
Deep Throat, E.T., you name it!
375
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:43,092
- Ah.
376
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,218
Thank you.
377
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:46,052
- Hey, man--
378
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:46,886
- Thank you, Diavolo, the door.
379
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:47,720
- But wait, boss, ain't this the geek--
380
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,723
- Yes, yes, this is
Professor Clifford Skridlow.
381
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,558
- Ow!
- How do you do?
382
00:14:51,559 --> 00:14:55,228
- He is an expert on chivalry,
honor, literature, uh...
383
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,312
Indian cuisine!
384
00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:58,731
- Ah, don't forget power
walking, systems analysis,
385
00:14:58,732 --> 00:14:59,774
rock climbing.
386
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,150
- And what about erotic adventure?
387
00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:02,193
- I never said that.
388
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:03,027
- So?
389
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,112
Think about it.
390
00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:06,322
- (laughs) Shall we be going then?
391
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,156
- Come on.
392
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:07,991
Come on!
393
00:15:07,992 --> 00:15:09,284
- [Thelma] Yeah, we'll
have a wonderful time.
394
00:15:09,285 --> 00:15:11,661
(Clifford stammering)
395
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,705
And you look like you need
a little company, right?
396
00:15:13,706 --> 00:15:15,164
- [Karen] Yeah, get in, get in.
397
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,833
Would you get your ass in the car?
398
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:20,629
("Super Freak" by Rick James)
399
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,801
♪ She's a very kinky girl ♪
400
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:30,805
♪ The kind you don't take home to mother ♪
401
00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:34,642
♪ She will never let your spirits down ♪
402
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:37,979
♪ Once you get her off the street ♪
403
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:41,524
♪ She likes the boys in the band ♪
404
00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:46,571
♪ She says that I'm
her all time favorite ♪
405
00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:47,530
- Catchy tune!
406
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:48,364
- [All] Yeah!
407
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,324
- Do you dance?
408
00:15:49,325 --> 00:15:50,158
- Not much.
409
00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:51,993
- Oh, go on, you got the rhythm.
410
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,328
- Go on!
411
00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:55,580
- Sure, show us what you're made of.
412
00:15:55,581 --> 00:15:56,414
Come on.
413
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:57,248
- So much fun.
414
00:15:57,249 --> 00:15:58,291
You look so handsome in this jacket,
415
00:15:58,292 --> 00:15:59,125
I wanna dance with you.
416
00:15:59,126 --> 00:15:59,959
- Give it a try.
417
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,962
- Well, I might as well work off supper.
418
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,672
- There you go!
419
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,591
- Gangway, hot soup comin' through!
420
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:08,301
- Oh, that's cute.
421
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:09,802
- Hey, Smooth.
422
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,555
What are we being so nice to this guy for?
423
00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:13,723
- Well, I'm uh...
424
00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:17,185
Thinking about taking in a new partner.
425
00:16:17,186 --> 00:16:18,729
Let's go mix it up.
426
00:16:23,943 --> 00:16:25,360
♪ She's a super freak ♪
427
00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:26,444
♪ Super freak ♪
428
00:16:26,445 --> 00:16:29,739
♪ She's super freaky now ♪
429
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:32,241
(cheering)
430
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,243
- Like Lord Wittgenstein and his monks
431
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,621
drinking wine and the flagons were full.
432
00:16:36,622 --> 00:16:37,915
Watch the water!
433
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,125
(cars honking)
434
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:41,960
Beautiful.
435
00:16:41,961 --> 00:16:43,920
Wait, traffic stop, stop!
436
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:45,213
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
437
00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:46,674
- Look out, girls!
438
00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:52,762
I'm gonna fire up a fun log, hmm?
439
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:54,639
- [Girls] Yeah!
440
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,307
- Look, it really
doesn't do anything to me
441
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:57,892
and I've tried.
442
00:16:57,893 --> 00:17:01,020
- Oh, yeah, you're just
Mr. Natural, aren't you?
443
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:04,148
Let's get high on life,
the body is a temple, huh?
444
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,818
- Well, you could say
that, actually, sure.
445
00:17:06,819 --> 00:17:07,652
- She just did.
446
00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:08,946
Go on, try some.
447
00:17:10,406 --> 00:17:12,783
- Oh, that's not gonna do it.
448
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,373
- Only way to do, right?
449
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:22,667
(Cliff moaning)
450
00:17:22,668 --> 00:17:24,878
(coughing)
451
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:29,425
- Oh, boy!
452
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,720
(sighs)
453
00:17:33,721 --> 00:17:36,598
(upbeat pop music)
454
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:38,516
- Thank you.
455
00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:40,893
- Get in there, pile in the back.
456
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:41,728
Oh, Cliff, wait'll you
see this next place.
457
00:17:41,729 --> 00:17:42,562
- Come on honey, come to mama!
458
00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:44,022
- [Smooth] Okay, here we go.
459
00:17:44,023 --> 00:17:45,148
Wake up, Diavolo!
460
00:17:45,149 --> 00:17:48,317
Drive, my man, let's go go go.
461
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:49,444
- What a great car.
462
00:17:49,445 --> 00:17:51,362
(screeching)
463
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:52,864
- [Smooth] Forward, Diavolo, forward.
464
00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:53,698
- Sorry.
465
00:17:53,699 --> 00:17:54,532
- It's all right, sweetheart.
466
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:56,702
(inhaling)
467
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,000
- He was...
- Uh-huh, I read that.
468
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:04,876
- A real nut.
469
00:18:04,877 --> 00:18:06,085
- I know!
470
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,378
- He was mad.
- Really?
471
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,713
- No, no.
472
00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:10,506
- Oh, come on!
473
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,675
- It'll make you feel so good.
474
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:13,509
- No.
475
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:14,303
- Ooh!
476
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,640
Hold it, hold it.
477
00:18:20,059 --> 00:18:20,975
(upbeat pop music)
478
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:22,185
- [Smooth] Okay, we're on a roll here.
479
00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:24,812
Watch them, watch them!
480
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:27,024
Into the car, into the car.
481
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,736
- Into the car, okay.
482
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,701
I can feel my hair growing!
483
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:39,744
(laughing)
484
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:41,537
- Hey, baby, it's good dope.
485
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,790
- No, it's not the dope.
486
00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:45,208
It doesn't affect me.
487
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,585
I explained that.
488
00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:50,713
- Drink up, Cliff.
489
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,425
(girls laughing)
490
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,303
New way of looking at things, huh?
491
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,137
- I guess so.
492
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,723
(laughing)
493
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:01,557
You're marvelous.
494
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:02,391
You're a marvelous group, really you are.
495
00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,768
- Are we?
496
00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:06,230
- Very perceptive.
- Thank you.
497
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,566
- Welcome home. (laughing)
498
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,609
- Wow!
499
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:12,860
Look at this place!
500
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,821
It's positively vulgar!
501
00:19:14,822 --> 00:19:17,366
You must be so incredibly rich!
502
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:20,993
Hey, what?
503
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,495
Your art collection, it's on the...
504
00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:24,789
Oh, why you've purposely...
505
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:25,915
Because...
506
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,416
Chicago!
507
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,127
- Your kinda town.
508
00:19:29,128 --> 00:19:30,795
(Thelma laughing)
509
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:32,421
- Yes!
510
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:33,215
But...
511
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:35,800
Where am I?
512
00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:37,051
- You're right here.
513
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:37,885
- Where's here?
514
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,304
- Well, here is where it's at.
515
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:41,139
- Oh!
516
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:43,432
Now, come on, don't give me any of that
517
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:44,767
freshman philosophy crap.
518
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,978
I'm talking existential being!
519
00:19:46,979 --> 00:19:49,940
- Well, of course you are, gorgeous.
520
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:52,483
- You're very pretty.
521
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:54,193
Like a bright little bug.
522
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,778
(Karen laughs)
523
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:56,822
Ah, a dragon!
524
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:00,491
- Say, boss, check it out.
525
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:02,743
You got my man over here trippin'.
526
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,745
Dude is tripping, what'd
you give this dude?
527
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,664
- Stay down in front with the car.
528
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:07,957
- Say what?
529
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:08,791
I thought you said I could
530
00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:10,209
take the rest of the night off, man!
531
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,336
- Sure, but in the car.
532
00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:13,130
- Oh!
533
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:17,675
(Diavolo shouts)
534
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:20,470
(Clifford laughs)
535
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:24,182
- Look, what utterly
tasteless furnishings!
536
00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:24,975
- Cliff.
537
00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:33,734
(breathless moaning)
538
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:51,168
- (coughing) So, you're in
the entertainment business.
539
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,629
- Well, you could call us public servants.
540
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:55,546
Don't we look it?
541
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,089
(ladies laughing)
542
00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,426
- You know, I think
Cliffie is a little tense.
543
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,511
Perhaps a hot bath?
544
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:03,638
- Uh...
545
00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:04,472
- Oh yeah!
546
00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:05,514
- No, no. (laughs)
547
00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:06,891
I don't think it's tension.
548
00:21:06,892 --> 00:21:08,517
I think it's more fatigue.
549
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:12,481
I really should be going,
it's far past my usual
550
00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,608
bed time.
551
00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:18,110
And let's just say I'm...
552
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,904
I'm not tense.
553
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:20,780
- Yes, you are.
554
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,490
I could feel it Cliff, right up in your--
555
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:24,951
(Cliff moans)
556
00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:27,620
- My latissimus dorsi, you're so right.
557
00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:30,539
- It's only natural on a night
that could change your life.
558
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:33,209
- (sighs) Nothing's gonna change my life.
559
00:21:33,210 --> 00:21:34,627
My life is set.
560
00:21:34,628 --> 00:21:36,838
What could possibly happen?
561
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,344
- How'd you like to
come into this business?
562
00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:45,429
- The entertainment business?
563
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,056
- Exactly!
564
00:21:47,057 --> 00:21:50,434
All I wanna do is share my good fortune,
565
00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:53,145
my involvement with other people,
566
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:53,939
my world.
567
00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:56,942
- Ah, well, I...
568
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,695
I don't know.
(bubbling)
569
00:22:00,696 --> 00:22:02,947
See, I have a business.
570
00:22:02,948 --> 00:22:05,116
I teach comparative
literature at Monroe College.
571
00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:07,785
I'm a full assistant professor now, I...
572
00:22:07,786 --> 00:22:09,412
My father's Chancellor of the College,
573
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:11,247
I'm committed.
574
00:22:11,248 --> 00:22:15,042
- Think about it, Cliffie,
just think about it.
575
00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,877
Your own business.
576
00:22:16,878 --> 00:22:20,423
Your piece of the American dream.
577
00:22:20,424 --> 00:22:24,635
Nice company pad, the best employee roster
578
00:22:24,636 --> 00:22:26,887
this side of heaven.
579
00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:29,433
Thelma, Karen, Monica, Jasmine.
580
00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:33,853
Now, that's entertainment.
581
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:37,315
And they'd all be working for you.
582
00:22:37,316 --> 00:22:38,275
All for you.
583
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:40,902
- I...
584
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:44,030
It's all very sudden, I...
585
00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:46,907
I have responsibilities, I...
586
00:22:46,908 --> 00:22:47,659
- Well...
587
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:51,662
(remote control clicks)
Soak.
588
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:54,374
(heavenly music)
589
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:04,509
Think about it.
590
00:23:11,350 --> 00:23:12,850
Relax.
591
00:23:12,851 --> 00:23:13,643
Enjoy.
592
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,020
- Oh, yeah!
593
00:23:16,021 --> 00:23:16,813
Yeah!
594
00:23:19,983 --> 00:23:20,776
Oh!
595
00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:24,904
ETA to splashdown, two seconds!
596
00:23:24,905 --> 00:23:26,197
(splashing)
597
00:23:26,198 --> 00:23:28,992
(ladies laughing)
598
00:23:34,206 --> 00:23:36,082
(blowing raspberries)
599
00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:40,127
You dark burnished thing, you! (laughs)
600
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:41,754
Oh, you beauties!
601
00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:44,632
- Ooh, your legs are so
muscular for a teacher!
602
00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:45,925
Do you exercise?
603
00:23:45,926 --> 00:23:48,094
- Well, as a teacher I stand a lot.
604
00:23:48,095 --> 00:23:50,137
- Listen, sweetheart, do you think we can
605
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:53,307
use battery operated devices underwater?
606
00:23:53,308 --> 00:23:54,141
- Yes!
607
00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:56,936
Use them! (laughing)
608
00:23:56,937 --> 00:24:00,732
- I can show you how to
play find the gunboat!
609
00:24:03,068 --> 00:24:05,277
- This is the best time I've ever had
610
00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,904
in my entire life!
611
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:08,572
Do you hear me world?
612
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:12,119
My entire life! (laughing)
613
00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:25,923
- You gonna make it, man?
614
00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:27,174
- Oh yeah, thank you.
615
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:28,008
I think so.
616
00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:30,178
Thank you.
617
00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:34,433
- Take care, my brother.
618
00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:49,614
(shoes squelching)
619
00:24:54,995 --> 00:24:56,037
- Hello, son.
620
00:24:57,456 --> 00:24:59,415
- Hello, Father.
621
00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:00,666
That's a late night.
622
00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:02,585
- Uh, I guess, a little.
623
00:25:02,586 --> 00:25:04,629
- Good morning, Clifford!
624
00:25:05,589 --> 00:25:07,006
Breakfast, anyone?
625
00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:08,132
- [Mr. Skridlow] No, none for me.
626
00:25:08,133 --> 00:25:09,091
- Oh, of course not.
627
00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:10,968
You're probably going to
starve yourself to death.
628
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:13,095
(laughing)
629
00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:15,222
- What makes you think
that I'd take my own life?
630
00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:18,476
- Oh, I was speaking figuratively, dear.
631
00:25:18,477 --> 00:25:20,102
But these financial statements.
632
00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:21,937
Clifford, cash your paycheck quickly.
633
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:22,813
- Margaret.
634
00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,440
(stammering) Would you please excuse me?
635
00:25:24,441 --> 00:25:26,942
That is private business
between the trustees and me.
636
00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:28,819
- Forget it, everything's peachy.
637
00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:31,238
Harmon Rousehorn, I'm
gonna call him and tell him
638
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:33,073
to cancel his visit, we don't
need his endowment check!
639
00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:34,658
- Don't you dare.
640
00:25:34,659 --> 00:25:35,493
(Mrs. Skridlow laughing)
641
00:25:35,494 --> 00:25:36,827
My God!
642
00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:41,707
- Oh, honestly, some people
just can't take a joke.
643
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,417
I'm gonna water my begonias.
644
00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:45,836
(Mrs. Skridlow humming)
645
00:25:45,837 --> 00:25:48,339
- Well, I would prefer for
you to hear it from me.
646
00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:50,132
But without the Rousehorn endowment check,
647
00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:52,676
this college can't even
meet its current payroll.
648
00:25:52,677 --> 00:25:54,470
- But we are getting the check.
649
00:25:54,471 --> 00:25:56,680
I mean, Rousehorn's coming
in to present it himself.
650
00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:57,848
It's a major endowment.
651
00:25:57,849 --> 00:25:59,016
It's in the press.
652
00:25:59,017 --> 00:26:00,976
- Look, son, without that check,
653
00:26:00,977 --> 00:26:05,105
Monday next the banks are
gonna close this college down.
654
00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:07,066
Close it down!
655
00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:10,986
A hundred years of
scholarship and public service
656
00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:12,030
shot to shit.
657
00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:14,740
- I've got to go up and get some winks
658
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:17,117
before my eleven o'clock lecture.
659
00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,702
- You've got a nine o'clock.
660
00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:19,537
- Is today Wednesday?
661
00:26:19,538 --> 00:26:20,746
- [Mr. Skridlow] Yes, Wednesday.
662
00:26:20,747 --> 00:26:23,041
- I thought it was Thursday!
663
00:26:26,169 --> 00:26:27,545
- [Girl] Marianne!
664
00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:28,671
- [Boy] Hey, Thomas, there's no class!
665
00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:29,505
- Excuse me, please!
666
00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:30,881
Thank you.
667
00:26:30,882 --> 00:26:32,341
Morning.
668
00:26:32,342 --> 00:26:33,509
(students chattering)
669
00:26:33,510 --> 00:26:34,343
Ah, places please.
670
00:26:34,344 --> 00:26:35,594
Let's begin.
671
00:26:35,595 --> 00:26:36,888
Sorry, I'm late.
672
00:26:38,473 --> 00:26:40,849
We were discussing the
hero's role in chivalry
673
00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:43,060
as exemplified by the
character of Lancelot
674
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:46,772
in Sir Thomas Mallory's Morte d'Arthur.
675
00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:49,441
Entranced by Arthur's Queen Guinevere,
676
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:52,570
Lancelot, a knight of impeccable virtue,
677
00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:56,532
faces a crisis as his idee
fixe confronts his libido.
678
00:26:56,533 --> 00:26:57,950
Any comments?
679
00:26:57,951 --> 00:26:59,827
Mr. Frankman.
680
00:26:59,828 --> 00:27:03,039
What do you think of Lancelot's crisis?
681
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:07,459
- Well, I think Lancelot was an idiot.
682
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:08,627
- Mr. Frankman, how long have you been
683
00:27:08,628 --> 00:27:10,963
in the first year program?
684
00:27:10,964 --> 00:27:12,298
- Four years.
685
00:27:12,299 --> 00:27:14,466
(students laughing)
686
00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:17,094
- Duty, selfless honor, chastity,
687
00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:20,139
humility, purity, a
devotion to a greater good.
688
00:27:20,140 --> 00:27:21,724
I mean, by now don't any of these things
689
00:27:21,725 --> 00:27:23,435
mean anything to you?
690
00:27:25,353 --> 00:27:28,814
(sighs) All together now.
691
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:31,734
What is the chivalric ideal?
692
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:34,361
- [All] The Chivalric ideal is one of duty
693
00:27:34,362 --> 00:27:38,449
to a higher cause in
which purity and chastity
694
00:27:38,450 --> 00:27:41,035
are virtues and manly strength and honor
695
00:27:41,036 --> 00:27:42,995
are devoted to their preservation.
696
00:27:42,996 --> 00:27:44,538
- [Student] And justice for all.
697
00:27:44,539 --> 00:27:48,125
(sirens blaring)
698
00:27:48,126 --> 00:27:50,336
- Just let it out, though,
get to your real feelings.
699
00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:51,211
How does it feel in there?
700
00:27:51,212 --> 00:27:52,463
- Hey, man, I feel lousy.
701
00:27:52,464 --> 00:27:53,297
- Lousy.
702
00:27:53,298 --> 00:27:54,131
- I feel shitty.
- Mm-hmm.
703
00:27:54,132 --> 00:27:55,215
- I feel pissed off.
704
00:27:55,216 --> 00:27:56,175
- Violent, hostile?
705
00:27:56,176 --> 00:27:57,718
- Yeah, a little.
- Great!
706
00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:58,552
Hit me!
707
00:27:58,553 --> 00:28:00,596
- Hey, man, I can't do that!
708
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:02,014
- What?
709
00:28:02,015 --> 00:28:03,724
Look, you can.
710
00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:04,558
You want to.
711
00:28:04,559 --> 00:28:06,101
You have to.
712
00:28:06,102 --> 00:28:07,519
I need it!
(shirt ripping)
713
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:08,437
- Hey, man, what's wrong with you?
714
00:28:08,438 --> 00:28:09,772
You getting a little kinky?
715
00:28:09,773 --> 00:28:11,190
'Cause if you are it's gonna
cost you a little extra,
716
00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:12,900
I learned that from the girls.
717
00:28:12,901 --> 00:28:14,068
- They learned that from me
718
00:28:14,069 --> 00:28:16,403
and that has nothing to do with this!
719
00:28:16,404 --> 00:28:19,698
Now, look, Diavolo, for once,
do what I tell you to do
720
00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:21,241
and try to do it right!
721
00:28:21,242 --> 00:28:22,202
Now, hit me!
722
00:28:23,411 --> 00:28:24,411
- Say, man, what's wrong with you, man?
723
00:28:24,412 --> 00:28:25,245
You going crazy or something?
724
00:28:25,246 --> 00:28:26,080
I can't hit you.
725
00:28:26,081 --> 00:28:27,122
You want me to call a doctor?
726
00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:28,707
I ain't hitting you, man!
- Okay!
727
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,000
Okay.
728
00:28:30,001 --> 00:28:32,086
I'll make it real easy for you.
729
00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,838
I got everything, you got nothing, right?
730
00:28:34,839 --> 00:28:38,092
I'm the boss, you ain't jack shit.
731
00:28:38,093 --> 00:28:39,635
I am white.
732
00:28:39,636 --> 00:28:41,637
I don't even know what you are.
733
00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:43,013
- Say, man, I'm black.
734
00:28:43,014 --> 00:28:44,098
- All right, then try to remember
735
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:47,101
that my grandfather
owned your grandfather.
736
00:28:47,102 --> 00:28:48,061
- Your mama!
737
00:28:49,145 --> 00:28:50,938
- That's good, Diavolo, that's good.
738
00:28:50,939 --> 00:28:52,898
Oh, my back!
- Uh-huh, your ass!
739
00:28:52,899 --> 00:28:54,108
- [Smooth] Now, take it easy!
740
00:28:54,109 --> 00:28:54,942
Take it easy!
741
00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:55,776
Not the teeth!
742
00:28:55,777 --> 00:28:56,985
- Say, don't tell me what to do!
743
00:28:56,986 --> 00:28:57,986
You want me to kick your ass
744
00:28:57,987 --> 00:29:00,906
and I'm gonna kick your
white motherfuckin' ass!
745
00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:02,282
- [Smooth] Thank you!
746
00:29:02,283 --> 00:29:03,993
Thank you, thank you!
747
00:29:08,498 --> 00:29:09,290
- Hmm.
748
00:29:12,293 --> 00:29:13,169
- Oh, nice.
749
00:29:14,462 --> 00:29:18,257
Black eye, lacerations,
multiple contusions.
750
00:29:18,258 --> 00:29:23,053
Hey, what'd you do, try to
roll a sailor? (laughing)
751
00:29:23,054 --> 00:29:24,431
- Doctor Detroit.
752
00:29:25,682 --> 00:29:26,807
He's bad, Mom.
753
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:28,475
Really bad.
754
00:29:28,476 --> 00:29:30,728
Mom, I gotta get outta town.
755
00:29:30,729 --> 00:29:32,354
Now, you heavies can settle this shit,
756
00:29:32,355 --> 00:29:34,983
just leave old Smooth out of it.
757
00:29:36,568 --> 00:29:37,860
- You mean that's it?
758
00:29:37,861 --> 00:29:40,279
A couple of broken ribs,
you're ready to cave in?
759
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,615
Gee, with a partner like
you, who needs enemies?
760
00:29:43,616 --> 00:29:44,659
- Adios, Mom.
761
00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:48,579
And believe me.
762
00:29:48,580 --> 00:29:51,749
You deserve to get every
bit of your cash back.
763
00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:53,584
It's just that...
764
00:29:53,585 --> 00:29:54,878
I don't have it.
765
00:29:57,589 --> 00:29:59,840
See Doctor Detroit, he's...
766
00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:02,968
(winces) He's your man.
767
00:30:02,969 --> 00:30:03,762
Oh, god.
768
00:30:06,181 --> 00:30:07,264
- Give me that shit.
769
00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:08,348
- Are you kidding?
770
00:30:08,349 --> 00:30:09,642
- He's for real.
771
00:30:10,977 --> 00:30:12,936
- I gotta find out more about this Doctor.
772
00:30:12,937 --> 00:30:15,606
Hey, what's that black
chick who works for Smooth?
773
00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:17,524
- Um, Thelma.
774
00:30:17,525 --> 00:30:18,859
- Get her busted.
775
00:30:18,860 --> 00:30:19,943
I wanna see just how good this Doctor
776
00:30:19,944 --> 00:30:21,445
takes care of his people.
777
00:30:21,446 --> 00:30:22,404
- She's busted.
778
00:30:22,405 --> 00:30:23,531
- Let's do it.
779
00:30:28,828 --> 00:30:29,912
(funky music)
780
00:30:29,913 --> 00:30:30,913
- Look out, asshole!
781
00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:34,291
Thank you, ma'am, thank you. (laughing)
782
00:30:34,292 --> 00:30:35,084
Oh, yes.
783
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,881
- Okay, Mr. Finkelman.
784
00:30:40,882 --> 00:30:44,301
Uh, we have you one way
first class Air Togo
785
00:30:44,302 --> 00:30:46,637
to the Cook Islands
786
00:30:46,638 --> 00:30:49,265
then local service to Rarotonga.
787
00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:53,018
Are you sure you want this just one way?
788
00:30:53,019 --> 00:30:53,852
- Right, sweetheart.
789
00:30:53,853 --> 00:30:55,396
One way, no return.
790
00:30:57,524 --> 00:30:59,274
- In the financial briefing you'll see
791
00:30:59,275 --> 00:31:01,068
that each person has their own report
792
00:31:01,069 --> 00:31:02,236
as well as what is there.
793
00:31:02,237 --> 00:31:03,403
- Now, Arthur, if we
could just move forward--
794
00:31:03,404 --> 00:31:04,696
(gavel banging)
795
00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:06,323
- Now, may I have your attention, please,
796
00:31:06,324 --> 00:31:08,283
to item six on the agenda,
797
00:31:08,284 --> 00:31:10,452
which is the alumni dinner.
798
00:31:10,453 --> 00:31:12,955
As customary, we will be
at the Excelsior Hotel
799
00:31:12,956 --> 00:31:14,915
in the Orchid Room.
800
00:31:14,916 --> 00:31:17,501
Cliff will introduce Harmon Rousehorn.
801
00:31:17,502 --> 00:31:18,335
Cliff!
802
00:31:18,336 --> 00:31:19,169
(Cliff snorts)
803
00:31:19,170 --> 00:31:20,337
Cliff, may we have your attention, please?
804
00:31:20,338 --> 00:31:21,755
- Oh, um...
805
00:31:21,756 --> 00:31:22,882
Ah, I'm sorry.
806
00:31:23,758 --> 00:31:25,968
Uh, go ahead, sir.
807
00:31:25,969 --> 00:31:28,053
- Uh, the President Emeritus will present
808
00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:30,097
the honorary degree.
809
00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:33,016
Mr. Rousehorn will make
a few brief remarks
810
00:31:33,017 --> 00:31:34,601
and then present the college with
811
00:31:34,602 --> 00:31:37,479
the endowment check for
the Harold Robbins Chair.
812
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:38,564
Are there any questions?
813
00:31:38,565 --> 00:31:39,773
- Will there be a fruit cup?
814
00:31:39,774 --> 00:31:40,691
- Yes.
- [Man] Oh, yes.
815
00:31:40,692 --> 00:31:42,693
- Oh, will there be a
choice of vegetables?
816
00:31:42,694 --> 00:31:43,610
- No.
817
00:31:43,611 --> 00:31:45,237
- Last year there wasn't any fruit cup.
818
00:31:45,238 --> 00:31:46,822
- No.
- And the shrimp were off.
819
00:31:46,823 --> 00:31:47,656
(telephone ringing)
820
00:31:47,657 --> 00:31:51,076
- This year there will be a fruit cup.
821
00:31:51,077 --> 00:31:53,078
Uh, this is Chancellor Skridlow.
822
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:54,496
- [Jasmine] Hello, Cliff?
823
00:31:54,497 --> 00:31:55,664
Cliff?
824
00:31:55,665 --> 00:31:57,291
- Uh, Cliff, I believe this is for you.
825
00:31:57,292 --> 00:31:59,334
Would you please make it snappy, son?
826
00:31:59,335 --> 00:32:00,544
- Uh, this is "Criff."
827
00:32:00,545 --> 00:32:01,461
Uh, Cliff.
828
00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:02,629
- [Jasmine] Cliff, good morning.
829
00:32:02,630 --> 00:32:04,464
I'm still tingling from last night.
830
00:32:04,465 --> 00:32:06,008
Oh, but something terrible has happened,
831
00:32:06,009 --> 00:32:06,842
you have to help me!
832
00:32:06,843 --> 00:32:10,262
- (stammering) Well, um,
Miss Wu, I'm in a meeting.
833
00:32:10,263 --> 00:32:13,557
Uh, perhaps we could
discuss this in class.
834
00:32:13,558 --> 00:32:14,850
- [Jasmine] Class?
- [Karen] Class, my ass!
835
00:32:14,851 --> 00:32:15,809
Give me that.
836
00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:16,769
- Excuse me.
837
00:32:18,313 --> 00:32:19,522
Uh, what is it?
838
00:32:20,815 --> 00:32:22,649
- [Jasmine] Thelma's in
jail and Smooth's gone,
839
00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:23,734
so you gotta help her.
840
00:32:23,735 --> 00:32:24,860
- [Karen] Give me that phone!
841
00:32:24,861 --> 00:32:27,362
Hi, Cliff, it's me, Karen.
842
00:32:27,363 --> 00:32:28,655
Listen, first things first,
843
00:32:28,656 --> 00:32:30,616
you're gonna have to get
over here as fast as you can
844
00:32:30,617 --> 00:32:32,159
and help us out because
this is a big emergency.
845
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,160
- I've no time, thank you.
846
00:32:33,161 --> 00:32:35,662
I'm so sorry for the interruption.
847
00:32:35,663 --> 00:32:37,414
- So are we.
848
00:32:37,415 --> 00:32:39,625
Now, obviously there is no need to stress
849
00:32:39,626 --> 00:32:42,878
the importance of the
Rousehorn endowment--
850
00:32:42,879 --> 00:32:45,255
(telephone rings)
851
00:32:45,256 --> 00:32:46,089
Hello?
852
00:32:46,090 --> 00:32:47,925
- [Karen] Hey, Cliff,
what's the big idea, anyway?
853
00:32:47,926 --> 00:32:50,844
I mean, you know, after last
night a person would think,
854
00:32:50,845 --> 00:32:53,096
well uh, what, were you using us?
855
00:32:53,097 --> 00:32:55,849
- Uh, listen, I'm in a very
important meeting right now
856
00:32:55,850 --> 00:32:57,476
with the faculty of my college,
857
00:32:57,477 --> 00:32:59,895
including my father, the Chancellor.
858
00:32:59,896 --> 00:33:00,938
- [Monica] Uh, Cliff?
859
00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:01,980
- [Karen] He's talking about his father.
860
00:33:01,981 --> 00:33:02,814
- [Monica] Shut up.
861
00:33:02,815 --> 00:33:03,941
This is Monica.
862
00:33:03,942 --> 00:33:04,775
Birthmark.
863
00:33:04,776 --> 00:33:06,902
- Uh, excuse me!
864
00:33:06,903 --> 00:33:08,654
Uh... (clears throat)
865
00:33:08,655 --> 00:33:09,488
(staffers muttering)
866
00:33:09,489 --> 00:33:10,322
- [Monica] Okay, now listen.
867
00:33:10,323 --> 00:33:12,783
I sent Diavolo with the car.
868
00:33:12,784 --> 00:33:14,451
- Uh, yo, is Cliff Skridlow here?
869
00:33:14,452 --> 00:33:15,494
Cliff, what's happening?
870
00:33:15,495 --> 00:33:17,412
Hey, man, I'm double parked outside, man.
871
00:33:17,413 --> 00:33:18,664
- Well, you'll just have to wait.
872
00:33:18,665 --> 00:33:21,041
What the hell is going
on around here anyway?
873
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:22,584
- Uh, he just got here.
874
00:33:22,585 --> 00:33:23,418
- [Staffer] Faculty only!
875
00:33:23,419 --> 00:33:25,545
- Uh, I'm so sorry about
these interruptions.
876
00:33:25,546 --> 00:33:27,005
- Are we still in session
or is this a coffee break?
877
00:33:27,006 --> 00:33:28,465
- No, we are still in session.
878
00:33:28,466 --> 00:33:29,299
- And we gotta go, bro.
879
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:30,133
- [Monica] Well, are you?
880
00:33:30,134 --> 00:33:30,968
- I'm coming.
881
00:33:30,969 --> 00:33:31,802
I'm coming.
882
00:33:31,803 --> 00:33:32,636
I'll be there.
883
00:33:32,637 --> 00:33:36,015
Don't worry about a thing, I'm on my way.
884
00:33:37,392 --> 00:33:40,394
Vietnamese girl distraught, distressed.
885
00:33:40,395 --> 00:33:41,478
Uh, urgent.
886
00:33:41,479 --> 00:33:43,480
Needs immediate faculty counseling.
887
00:33:43,481 --> 00:33:44,564
Uh, I'll be back.
888
00:33:44,565 --> 00:33:45,565
- [Staffer] Why, of course.
889
00:33:45,566 --> 00:33:48,194
(siren blaring)
890
00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:06,461
- 301.
891
00:34:06,462 --> 00:34:08,756
Robert E. Lee Davis-Jackson.
892
00:34:10,425 --> 00:34:12,342
- I don't wanna hear anymore about it!
893
00:34:12,343 --> 00:34:14,720
Every time I turn around
you're up here in front of me
894
00:34:14,721 --> 00:34:16,555
on a traffic violation.
895
00:34:16,556 --> 00:34:18,181
And if it happens one more time,
896
00:34:18,182 --> 00:34:20,308
you're gonna be spending
your declining years
897
00:34:20,309 --> 00:34:21,351
in the slammer!
898
00:34:21,352 --> 00:34:22,644
Now, get outta here.
899
00:34:22,645 --> 00:34:23,438
Next case.
900
00:34:24,355 --> 00:34:26,940
- Ugh, Southern tyrant.
901
00:34:26,941 --> 00:34:28,150
- Uh...
902
00:34:28,151 --> 00:34:30,360
Pardon me, are you looking for a lawyer?
903
00:34:30,361 --> 00:34:31,695
- Uh, no.
904
00:34:31,696 --> 00:34:33,780
- Well, uh, would you like
to discuss it over a drink?
905
00:34:33,781 --> 00:34:35,157
I know a wonderful, cozy little bar off--
906
00:34:35,158 --> 00:34:35,991
- No, no thank you.
907
00:34:35,992 --> 00:34:37,701
I have business with the court.
908
00:34:37,702 --> 00:34:38,535
Thanks anyway.
909
00:34:38,536 --> 00:34:39,328
- Hmm.
910
00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:49,505
(loudly chewing)
911
00:34:52,175 --> 00:34:55,010
(paper rustling)
912
00:34:55,011 --> 00:34:55,844
- Well, excuse me.
913
00:34:55,845 --> 00:34:56,678
- Mm-hmm?
914
00:34:56,679 --> 00:34:58,930
- Sir, I have a business
proposition for you.
915
00:34:58,931 --> 00:34:59,765
- Mm-hmm.
916
00:34:59,766 --> 00:35:02,142
- Would you be willing to, uh, part with
917
00:35:02,143 --> 00:35:05,228
certain elements of your unique wardrobe
918
00:35:05,229 --> 00:35:07,230
for a cash retainer?
919
00:35:07,231 --> 00:35:08,732
- (chuckles) I mean...
920
00:35:08,733 --> 00:35:10,484
Sell my clothes?
921
00:35:10,485 --> 00:35:11,277
Come on.
922
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:13,403
If, uh, look, I mean...
923
00:35:13,404 --> 00:35:16,114
If there were thoughts in that direction,
924
00:35:16,115 --> 00:35:17,115
I mean, what...
925
00:35:17,116 --> 00:35:19,618
What sort of offer are
we kinda talking about?
926
00:35:19,619 --> 00:35:21,119
- Well, I wouldn't want to insult you.
927
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,205
- Uh, you can't insult me.
928
00:35:23,206 --> 00:35:24,831
You see, I'm a lawyer.
929
00:35:24,832 --> 00:35:26,208
Talk best price.
930
00:35:26,209 --> 00:35:27,876
- [Judge] I have repeatedly warned counsel
931
00:35:27,877 --> 00:35:29,628
not to provoke the court with--
932
00:35:29,629 --> 00:35:30,962
- This department 20 and one?
933
00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:31,797
- Shh!
934
00:35:31,798 --> 00:35:32,839
Quiet in the court.
935
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,634
- Step aside, lackey, or
you'll be eatin' my boot.
936
00:35:35,635 --> 00:35:36,843
(gavel banging)
937
00:35:36,844 --> 00:35:38,512
- What is going on?
938
00:35:38,513 --> 00:35:39,679
- Exactly, Your Honor!
939
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,264
What is going on?
940
00:35:41,265 --> 00:35:42,682
When a flower of the South,
941
00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:45,352
a decent girl with a
beautiful, good family,
942
00:35:45,353 --> 00:35:47,229
is arrested on her way home
943
00:35:47,230 --> 00:35:48,647
from her niece's confirmation
944
00:35:48,648 --> 00:35:50,565
and booked and incarcerated like a common
945
00:35:50,566 --> 00:35:52,567
woman of the streets?
946
00:35:52,568 --> 00:35:54,402
I'm talking about Thelma Cleland
947
00:35:54,403 --> 00:35:55,779
of the Cleland Parrish Clelands of
948
00:35:55,780 --> 00:35:57,364
Bay St. Luke, Louisiana.
949
00:35:57,365 --> 00:35:58,240
Excuse me.
950
00:35:58,241 --> 00:36:01,118
Where her father, Colonel
Judge Bryant Cleland
951
00:36:01,119 --> 00:36:03,995
presides over the Cleland
County Fifth Circuit Bench.
952
00:36:03,996 --> 00:36:06,581
Now, I demand that you
release this girl right now
953
00:36:06,582 --> 00:36:08,959
or you'll all taste the
business end of a buggy whip!
954
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:09,793
- Bailiff!
955
00:36:09,794 --> 00:36:10,627
- Yes sir?
956
00:36:10,628 --> 00:36:12,212
- [Judge] Get your ass over here!
957
00:36:12,213 --> 00:36:13,380
- You've got a case number?
958
00:36:13,381 --> 00:36:14,841
- Hell, yes, I do.
959
00:36:16,175 --> 00:36:19,887
It's 20569er, A Alpha R Ranger.
960
00:36:20,888 --> 00:36:21,721
- [Bailiff] I'll get her.
961
00:36:21,722 --> 00:36:22,681
- Shh!
962
00:36:22,682 --> 00:36:25,642
Now, just exactly what
is your relationship
963
00:36:25,643 --> 00:36:26,893
to the arrestee?
964
00:36:26,894 --> 00:36:30,814
- Well, sir, the young woman is my sister.
965
00:36:30,815 --> 00:36:32,065
And I know you can believe
966
00:36:32,066 --> 00:36:34,818
that the family honor is at stake here.
967
00:36:34,819 --> 00:36:37,487
You strike me as a gentleman, sir.
968
00:36:37,488 --> 00:36:38,989
Surely you must understand.
969
00:36:38,990 --> 00:36:41,158
- Why, of course I understand.
970
00:36:41,159 --> 00:36:43,577
My people were related to Jefferson Davis
971
00:36:43,578 --> 00:36:45,662
on my mother's side.
972
00:36:45,663 --> 00:36:47,581
- I knew it! (laughs)
973
00:36:47,582 --> 00:36:50,417
I knew it, indeed I knew
it, a son of the South!
974
00:36:50,418 --> 00:36:51,251
- Son of what?
975
00:36:51,252 --> 00:36:52,586
- Of the South, sir!
976
00:36:52,587 --> 00:36:54,254
The Confederacy.
977
00:36:54,255 --> 00:36:55,130
- [Bailiff] Uh, Your Honor.
978
00:36:55,131 --> 00:36:55,964
- What?
979
00:36:55,965 --> 00:36:58,717
- Loitering with intent
to commit prostitution.
980
00:36:58,718 --> 00:37:01,303
Lewd behavior, soliciting
for an unlawful act,
981
00:37:01,304 --> 00:37:04,139
bail at uh, 350 dollars, Your Honor.
982
00:37:04,140 --> 00:37:06,016
- I can't believe my
ears, this is an outrage!
983
00:37:06,017 --> 00:37:06,850
Let me see that thing!
984
00:37:06,851 --> 00:37:08,476
I mean, this is outrageous, ridiculous!
985
00:37:08,477 --> 00:37:09,519
Let me see that!
986
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,313
Why, I demand satisfaction!
987
00:37:11,314 --> 00:37:12,814
Get the arresting officer in here!
988
00:37:12,815 --> 00:37:14,900
I will tar and feather the scalawag!
989
00:37:14,901 --> 00:37:16,651
- Now, hold on, Mr. Cleland.
990
00:37:16,652 --> 00:37:17,445
Hold on.
991
00:37:18,446 --> 00:37:21,198
I can release your sister
on her own recognizance
992
00:37:21,199 --> 00:37:24,868
and dismiss this case in
the interest of justice.
993
00:37:24,869 --> 00:37:26,828
- Well, thank you, it'd
serve my family well, sir.
994
00:37:26,829 --> 00:37:29,289
We'd be very, very grateful.
995
00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:30,248
Do you like shrimp?
996
00:37:30,249 --> 00:37:31,082
- Indeed, I do.
997
00:37:31,083 --> 00:37:32,959
- Yeah well, fine, you can
come down to Bay St. Luke,
998
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,669
we'll cook you up a whole mess of shrimp.
999
00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:36,129
We got some shrimp in that family.
1000
00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:37,088
Here, have a Tampa.
1001
00:37:37,089 --> 00:37:37,923
- Thank you.
1002
00:37:37,924 --> 00:37:39,007
- Thelma!
1003
00:37:39,008 --> 00:37:40,300
- Bud!
1004
00:37:40,301 --> 00:37:42,385
- Come on, honey, we're going home.
1005
00:37:42,386 --> 00:37:43,845
- And not a moment, too soon.
1006
00:37:43,846 --> 00:37:45,013
- [Judge] Case dismissed.
1007
00:37:45,014 --> 00:37:46,973
- I can't tell you the
indignities I suffered here
1008
00:37:46,974 --> 00:37:47,807
in this--
1009
00:37:47,808 --> 00:37:49,309
- Thank you, Your Honor,
my father thanks you!
1010
00:37:49,310 --> 00:37:51,061
- You are entirely welcome.
1011
00:37:51,062 --> 00:37:52,604
That girl is colored!
1012
00:37:52,605 --> 00:37:54,064
(courtroom gasps)
1013
00:37:54,065 --> 00:37:56,191
- Honey, nobody colored
me, I was born this way!
1014
00:37:56,192 --> 00:37:57,359
- Now, come here, baby, that's all right!
1015
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:58,193
Bye bye!
1016
00:37:58,194 --> 00:37:59,819
Bye bye, see you later!
1017
00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:01,780
- Diavolo could have told me
you were the black person...
1018
00:38:01,781 --> 00:38:03,949
- Bailiff, I want that man charged
1019
00:38:03,950 --> 00:38:05,575
with impersonating a cracker!
1020
00:38:05,576 --> 00:38:06,868
- Yes, sir!
1021
00:38:06,869 --> 00:38:08,411
- Cliff, that was just incredible.
1022
00:38:08,412 --> 00:38:09,746
I can't believe you did that.
1023
00:38:09,747 --> 00:38:11,122
- How did this happen to you?
1024
00:38:11,123 --> 00:38:12,958
- I was busted, it's an occupational...
1025
00:38:12,959 --> 00:38:16,962
I mean, an occasional hazard, you know?
1026
00:38:16,963 --> 00:38:18,588
- Oh, Cliff, I mean...
1027
00:38:18,589 --> 00:38:19,464
- Impossible!
1028
00:38:19,465 --> 00:38:21,633
It was never agreed, never
mentioned, never discussed.
1029
00:38:21,634 --> 00:38:22,467
- Oh, come on.
1030
00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:23,551
- Come on, Cliff, Smooth was very clear
1031
00:38:23,552 --> 00:38:24,552
about the whole thing.
1032
00:38:24,553 --> 00:38:26,137
He said, "I'm gonna be
gone two or three days
1033
00:38:26,138 --> 00:38:27,222
and Cliff's in charge."
1034
00:38:27,223 --> 00:38:29,099
- Have you even heard of Doctor Detroit?
1035
00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:31,184
- You see, Skridlow, this
guy has got to be a big man.
1036
00:38:31,185 --> 00:38:32,310
He's got to be cool.
1037
00:38:32,311 --> 00:38:33,144
- Right.
1038
00:38:33,145 --> 00:38:34,521
- He's a partner like Mom,
but only worse, brother.
1039
00:38:34,522 --> 00:38:35,647
- Mom?
1040
00:38:35,648 --> 00:38:36,898
Are you saying someone's mother is
1041
00:38:36,899 --> 00:38:37,774
involved in all of this?
1042
00:38:37,775 --> 00:38:39,651
(door slamming)
1043
00:38:39,652 --> 00:38:40,444
- Yes!
1044
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:42,404
(Mom laughing)
1045
00:38:42,405 --> 00:38:43,238
- Oh, boy.
1046
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:44,072
Hey, check upstairs.
1047
00:38:44,073 --> 00:38:44,906
- I like this.
1048
00:38:44,907 --> 00:38:45,740
Okay, Mom.
1049
00:38:45,741 --> 00:38:47,909
- This is nice, this is real nice.
1050
00:38:47,910 --> 00:38:49,661
A gal could be real comfy in here.
1051
00:38:49,662 --> 00:38:50,495
- Uh, I...
1052
00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:53,164
I don't believe that you're welcome here
1053
00:38:53,165 --> 00:38:54,958
and I think that you'd
better leave because--
1054
00:38:54,959 --> 00:38:55,751
- Quiet!
1055
00:38:57,003 --> 00:38:58,920
Who is this twerp, huh?
1056
00:38:58,921 --> 00:39:00,630
Doctor Detroit?
1057
00:39:00,631 --> 00:39:01,840
- Well, I wouldn't even venture--
1058
00:39:01,841 --> 00:39:03,049
- Don't bother.
1059
00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:07,387
Oh, my little stable is
top drawer high quality.
1060
00:39:07,388 --> 00:39:10,015
Oh, am I gonna enjoy
running these bitches.
1061
00:39:10,016 --> 00:39:11,433
- Hey, we don't work for you.
1062
00:39:11,434 --> 00:39:13,059
We never have and we never will.
1063
00:39:13,060 --> 00:39:16,563
- Oh, you just sit down!
(exclaiming)
1064
00:39:16,564 --> 00:39:17,564
Now, listen!
1065
00:39:17,565 --> 00:39:21,985
Smooth's gone, which means
your ass is mine, girlie.
1066
00:39:21,986 --> 00:39:24,446
- (stammering) Pardon me
for just a second, now.
1067
00:39:24,447 --> 00:39:28,158
I just, just wanna
clarify things here, I...
1068
00:39:28,159 --> 00:39:30,201
Now, are you actually saying
1069
00:39:30,202 --> 00:39:31,911
that these girls are--
1070
00:39:31,912 --> 00:39:33,204
- They're hookers.
1071
00:39:33,205 --> 00:39:34,039
(Mom laughing)
1072
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:34,915
And whores.
1073
00:39:40,254 --> 00:39:41,087
- Hey!
1074
00:39:41,088 --> 00:39:41,921
Hey, I like this.
1075
00:39:41,922 --> 00:39:42,756
Take it.
1076
00:39:42,757 --> 00:39:44,591
Get this thing here.
1077
00:39:44,592 --> 00:39:46,509
Uh, forget that.
1078
00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:48,219
Oh, hey, I like this.
1079
00:39:48,220 --> 00:39:50,430
Ooh, ain't that a beauty?
1080
00:39:50,431 --> 00:39:51,848
Ooh, I like this.
1081
00:39:51,849 --> 00:39:52,766
Here!
1082
00:39:52,767 --> 00:39:53,600
(glass breaking)
1083
00:39:53,601 --> 00:39:54,434
- Hey!
1084
00:39:54,435 --> 00:39:55,518
Okay, now, I want you to stop this,
1085
00:39:55,519 --> 00:39:56,394
right this instant!
1086
00:39:56,395 --> 00:39:57,312
- Let's see what else I can find.
1087
00:39:57,313 --> 00:39:58,646
- I mean that!
1088
00:39:58,647 --> 00:40:00,690
- Clifford, no, Cliff!
1089
00:40:00,691 --> 00:40:02,317
- You'll stop!
1090
00:40:02,318 --> 00:40:05,070
You'll take your dirty
mitts off the fixtures.
1091
00:40:05,071 --> 00:40:06,696
Those are Doctor's orders.
1092
00:40:06,697 --> 00:40:07,739
- Doctor Detroit?
1093
00:40:07,740 --> 00:40:10,617
- The bad man from Michigan himself.
1094
00:40:10,618 --> 00:40:12,285
I am his executive assistant.
1095
00:40:12,286 --> 00:40:14,621
You touch any of us and
his measure of revenge
1096
00:40:14,622 --> 00:40:16,623
will be most swift and horrible,
1097
00:40:16,624 --> 00:40:18,291
I can assure you of that!
1098
00:40:18,292 --> 00:40:21,211
- Damn, Skridlow, talk some shit!
1099
00:40:21,212 --> 00:40:23,088
- I'm shivering.
1100
00:40:23,089 --> 00:40:23,963
Now, come on, boys.
1101
00:40:23,964 --> 00:40:25,006
Finish things up and then you can
1102
00:40:25,007 --> 00:40:27,050
bust junior up here for laughs.
1103
00:40:27,051 --> 00:40:28,094
- I warn you!
1104
00:40:29,261 --> 00:40:30,929
I am extensively read
in White Crane Kung Fu
1105
00:40:30,930 --> 00:40:34,058
and Hapkido! (growls)
1106
00:40:36,102 --> 00:40:38,311
- Fresh, all right, get down Skridlow.
1107
00:40:38,312 --> 00:40:40,980
- Okay, okay, don't get
your balls in an uproar.
1108
00:40:40,981 --> 00:40:41,815
We can always talk.
1109
00:40:41,816 --> 00:40:42,649
- Well, then talk!
1110
00:40:42,650 --> 00:40:43,525
- Oh, not to you.
1111
00:40:43,526 --> 00:40:44,526
To the boss.
1112
00:40:44,527 --> 00:40:47,320
Me and Doctor Detroit, face to face.
1113
00:40:47,321 --> 00:40:49,239
- Ah, you and Doctor Detroit.
1114
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:50,281
Okay, fine.
1115
00:40:50,282 --> 00:40:51,282
I'll set up a meeting.
1116
00:40:51,283 --> 00:40:52,117
- All right.
1117
00:40:52,118 --> 00:40:53,743
- Between you and Doctor Detroit.
1118
00:40:53,744 --> 00:40:55,286
Uh, tomorrow night.
1119
00:40:55,287 --> 00:40:58,373
At the 126th Street Graveyard at midnight.
1120
00:40:58,374 --> 00:40:59,290
- Midnight?
1121
00:40:59,291 --> 00:41:00,083
The graveyard? (laughing)
1122
00:41:00,084 --> 00:41:00,917
- What is this?
1123
00:41:00,918 --> 00:41:02,877
- (laughing) That's
kinda dramatic, ain't it?
1124
00:41:02,878 --> 00:41:04,462
- Well, that's my offer.
1125
00:41:04,463 --> 00:41:06,297
Take it or leave it.
1126
00:41:06,298 --> 00:41:07,549
Bigfoot!
1127
00:41:07,550 --> 00:41:09,300
(growling)
1128
00:41:09,301 --> 00:41:10,677
- Come on, come on now, cool it, cool it!
1129
00:41:10,678 --> 00:41:13,054
- Get down, Skridlow,
with your Hapkido self!
1130
00:41:13,055 --> 00:41:13,888
Yeah, brother!
1131
00:41:13,889 --> 00:41:15,181
Show 'em what you can do!
1132
00:41:15,182 --> 00:41:16,307
- Well, that's it.
1133
00:41:16,308 --> 00:41:17,225
That's my offer.
1134
00:41:17,226 --> 00:41:20,937
Tomorrow night, 126th
Street graveyard, midnight.
1135
00:41:20,938 --> 00:41:23,231
No excuses, no substitutions.
1136
00:41:23,232 --> 00:41:24,858
- I don't talk to flunkies.
1137
00:41:24,859 --> 00:41:26,025
I'll meet with your Doctor,
1138
00:41:26,026 --> 00:41:27,694
we'll settle this shit together.
1139
00:41:27,695 --> 00:41:28,653
- Well, then fine.
1140
00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:30,029
If our business here is concluded,
1141
00:41:30,030 --> 00:41:32,115
I'll kindly ask you to leave.
1142
00:41:32,116 --> 00:41:33,741
Leave!
1143
00:41:33,742 --> 00:41:34,576
- Okay.
1144
00:41:34,577 --> 00:41:35,410
- Get out!
1145
00:41:35,411 --> 00:41:36,244
- Tomorrow!
1146
00:41:36,245 --> 00:41:37,078
- Get out of here, all of you!
1147
00:41:37,079 --> 00:41:37,912
- Come on, boys, let's get out.
1148
00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,914
- Out with your Raus!
1149
00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:40,748
(slaps)
1150
00:41:40,749 --> 00:41:41,583
Out!
1151
00:41:41,584 --> 00:41:42,417
Scat!
1152
00:41:42,418 --> 00:41:43,251
Begone!
1153
00:41:43,252 --> 00:41:44,544
Raus!
1154
00:41:44,545 --> 00:41:45,545
And don't let the door hit you in your
1155
00:41:45,546 --> 00:41:46,588
collective asses on the way out!
1156
00:41:46,589 --> 00:41:47,589
(door slams)
1157
00:41:47,590 --> 00:41:48,590
- All right, Skridlow!
1158
00:41:48,591 --> 00:41:51,009
Get out, man, that Hapkido
shit came in handy, brother.
1159
00:41:51,010 --> 00:41:51,885
Right on!
1160
00:41:51,886 --> 00:41:53,344
- Cliff, you were
wonderful, you were a hero!
1161
00:41:53,345 --> 00:41:54,637
- Our knight in shining armor!
1162
00:41:54,638 --> 00:41:55,722
- So macho!
1163
00:41:55,723 --> 00:41:56,931
- Mm-hmm.
1164
00:41:56,932 --> 00:41:57,807
- You really think so?
1165
00:41:57,808 --> 00:41:59,726
- Oh, are you kidding?
- Yeah!
1166
00:41:59,727 --> 00:42:01,936
- Look, but what were they saying earlier
1167
00:42:01,937 --> 00:42:02,770
about you girls?
1168
00:42:02,771 --> 00:42:03,771
I mean, could it possibly be--
1169
00:42:03,772 --> 00:42:05,565
- Ah, come on, Cliff, you're a big boy.
1170
00:42:05,566 --> 00:42:07,400
It's a job, we're working girls.
1171
00:42:07,401 --> 00:42:10,987
And believe me, honey, we are the best.
1172
00:42:10,988 --> 00:42:13,364
- You're professionals.
1173
00:42:13,365 --> 00:42:17,828
And Smooth was your p... (stuttering)
1174
00:42:19,163 --> 00:42:21,498
- Does that change anything, Cliff?
1175
00:42:21,499 --> 00:42:23,041
- All right, don't tell me any more.
1176
00:42:23,042 --> 00:42:24,000
I will be your protector,
1177
00:42:24,001 --> 00:42:25,585
but I won't be your manager, your agent,
1178
00:42:25,586 --> 00:42:27,795
nor your p... (stuttering)
1179
00:42:27,796 --> 00:42:29,214
I can't even say it.
1180
00:42:29,215 --> 00:42:31,633
Anyway, it won't be me,
it'll be Doctor Detroit.
1181
00:42:31,634 --> 00:42:33,092
Now, for now we just maintain.
1182
00:42:33,093 --> 00:42:35,929
We go on as before until Smooth returns.
1183
00:42:35,930 --> 00:42:37,931
The Doctor will take care of everything.
1184
00:42:37,932 --> 00:42:40,808
But above all, don't tell
anybody about Doctor Detroit,
1185
00:42:40,809 --> 00:42:41,851
nor what I'm doing.
1186
00:42:41,852 --> 00:42:42,810
Nobody.
1187
00:42:42,811 --> 00:42:44,020
- No problem.
- Trust me, baby.
1188
00:42:44,021 --> 00:42:45,647
- Absolutely.
1189
00:42:45,648 --> 00:42:48,358
- This Doctor Detroit is bad, B-A-D, man.
1190
00:42:48,359 --> 00:42:51,653
He's badder than Larry Holmes,
he's badder than Joe Frazier,
1191
00:42:51,654 --> 00:42:54,155
badder than Ken Norton,
badder than Jerry Quarry.
1192
00:42:54,156 --> 00:42:55,823
He's even badder than Mr. Clean!
1193
00:42:55,824 --> 00:42:56,908
- Mom, Mom!
1194
00:42:56,909 --> 00:42:58,034
It's all over the street!
1195
00:42:58,035 --> 00:42:58,868
- What?
1196
00:42:58,869 --> 00:42:59,994
- Doctor Detroit's moving in.
1197
00:42:59,995 --> 00:43:01,162
They say we're moving out.
1198
00:43:01,163 --> 00:43:02,121
- Oh, the hell you say.
1199
00:43:02,122 --> 00:43:03,665
I haven't even met the Doctor.
1200
00:43:03,666 --> 00:43:04,791
(sipping)
1201
00:43:04,792 --> 00:43:05,750
But when I do...
1202
00:43:05,751 --> 00:43:07,502
(crushing glass)
1203
00:43:07,503 --> 00:43:08,629
He's dog meat!
1204
00:43:10,756 --> 00:43:13,591
- I must do the decent thing.
1205
00:43:13,592 --> 00:43:16,553
It's such an indecent profession.
1206
00:43:16,554 --> 00:43:18,638
But you enjoyed it, though, didn't you?
1207
00:43:18,639 --> 00:43:21,516
Yes, but I didn't have to pay.
1208
00:43:21,517 --> 00:43:23,935
What about this Doctor Detroit?
1209
00:43:23,936 --> 00:43:25,061
What about him?
1210
00:43:25,062 --> 00:43:27,313
Somebody has to do the work.
1211
00:43:27,314 --> 00:43:28,773
Better him than you.
1212
00:43:28,774 --> 00:43:29,732
You?
1213
00:43:29,733 --> 00:43:31,150
Me?
1214
00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:33,111
(scoffs) Sleep on it.
1215
00:43:33,112 --> 00:43:34,279
Yeah.
1216
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:35,739
Okay, sleep on it.
1217
00:43:37,074 --> 00:43:39,618
(dreamy music)
1218
00:43:47,293 --> 00:43:48,126
- Cliff?
1219
00:43:48,127 --> 00:43:49,460
- Oh!
- Shh!
1220
00:43:49,461 --> 00:43:51,087
Be quiet.
1221
00:43:51,088 --> 00:43:51,880
- Jasmine?
1222
00:43:53,173 --> 00:43:54,799
What are you doing here?
1223
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,093
This is my room.
1224
00:43:57,261 --> 00:43:58,761
Uh, Jasmine, where are you taking me?
1225
00:43:58,762 --> 00:43:59,929
I'm still half asleep.
1226
00:43:59,930 --> 00:44:00,722
- Quick, quick!
1227
00:44:00,723 --> 00:44:02,181
- Are you listening to me?
1228
00:44:02,182 --> 00:44:04,143
Are you listening to me?
1229
00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:07,562
(funky music)
1230
00:44:07,563 --> 00:44:09,981
- Ooh, Ulysses S. Motherfucking Grant!
1231
00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:11,482
Welcome to the neighborhood, brother.
1232
00:44:11,483 --> 00:44:12,400
Ooh!
1233
00:44:12,401 --> 00:44:14,319
Cliff, check out this money, man!
1234
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,445
Cash money, bro!
1235
00:44:15,446 --> 00:44:16,279
- (stammering) I know, but...
1236
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,281
But where did all this money come from?
1237
00:44:18,282 --> 00:44:19,616
- The old fashioned way.
1238
00:44:19,617 --> 00:44:21,159
We earned it.
1239
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:21,993
- But--
- And Cliffie, there are
1240
00:44:21,994 --> 00:44:23,661
other fringe benefits.
1241
00:44:23,662 --> 00:44:24,746
For example...
1242
00:44:24,747 --> 00:44:25,955
- Oriental baths.
1243
00:44:25,956 --> 00:44:27,248
- Swedish massages.
1244
00:44:27,249 --> 00:44:28,124
- French lessons.
1245
00:44:28,125 --> 00:44:29,917
- I know how to speak--
1246
00:44:29,918 --> 00:44:32,837
- Exotic, erotic, juicy adventures.
1247
00:44:32,838 --> 00:44:34,297
- It's ridiculous.
1248
00:44:34,298 --> 00:44:35,965
I mean, what would men of real virtue do
1249
00:44:35,966 --> 00:44:37,300
if they were in my position?
1250
00:44:37,301 --> 00:44:38,134
- I'll tell you one thing,
1251
00:44:38,135 --> 00:44:39,886
they wouldn't sit around
wearing those pajamas, brother.
1252
00:44:39,887 --> 00:44:43,181
(chiming music)
1253
00:44:43,182 --> 00:44:44,724
- Here's your hat, Daddy!
1254
00:44:44,725 --> 00:44:47,852
I picked it out especially for you.
1255
00:44:47,853 --> 00:44:49,312
- I'm dreaming.
1256
00:44:49,313 --> 00:44:50,355
- [Men] Wages of sin!
1257
00:44:50,356 --> 00:44:51,230
Wages of sin!
1258
00:44:51,231 --> 00:44:52,940
Give us the money and let us come in!
1259
00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:54,901
Wages of sin, wages of sin!
1260
00:44:54,902 --> 00:44:57,195
Give us your money and let us come in!
1261
00:44:57,196 --> 00:44:58,488
- Judge not, sonny,
1262
00:44:58,489 --> 00:45:00,198
lest ye be judged!
1263
00:45:00,199 --> 00:45:03,201
Mark well the wages of sin!
1264
00:45:03,202 --> 00:45:05,579
(funk music)
1265
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:08,832
Come home.
1266
00:45:10,793 --> 00:45:12,418
- Father, I want...
1267
00:45:12,419 --> 00:45:15,838
I want you, your parental guidance!
1268
00:45:15,839 --> 00:45:17,549
I need moral support!
1269
00:45:19,927 --> 00:45:23,472
Father, can't you do
anything to stop this?
1270
00:45:25,224 --> 00:45:26,183
- [Men] Hey!
1271
00:45:36,944 --> 00:45:38,319
- Clifford, I heard you had some money.
1272
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:39,904
Give it to the college.
1273
00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:41,447
- No more bucks from Uncle Sam.
1274
00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:43,032
It's gotta come from someplace.
1275
00:45:43,033 --> 00:45:43,950
(exhales)
1276
00:45:43,951 --> 00:45:44,784
- It's filthy money!
1277
00:45:44,785 --> 00:45:46,828
It's money from depraved sources!
1278
00:45:46,829 --> 00:45:48,204
- See what money pleasure brings?
1279
00:45:48,205 --> 00:45:49,997
See what pleasure money brings?
1280
00:45:49,998 --> 00:45:51,165
- Thanks, my man.
1281
00:45:51,166 --> 00:45:53,084
I can see where you're coming from.
1282
00:45:53,085 --> 00:45:54,168
She's all yours.
1283
00:45:54,169 --> 00:45:55,795
- This is fun!
1284
00:45:55,796 --> 00:45:57,714
- My mother's not for sale!
1285
00:45:57,715 --> 00:46:00,508
- Oh, but they're all for sale.
1286
00:46:00,509 --> 00:46:01,884
All for sale, all for sale...
1287
00:46:01,885 --> 00:46:02,802
- Not my mother!
1288
00:46:02,803 --> 00:46:05,304
Not for the college, not for any money!
1289
00:46:05,305 --> 00:46:06,597
Not for anybody!
1290
00:46:06,598 --> 00:46:07,849
Not for anything!
1291
00:46:07,850 --> 00:46:09,225
Not my mother!
1292
00:46:09,226 --> 00:46:10,351
Mother, stop, wait!
1293
00:46:10,352 --> 00:46:11,436
- [All] All for sale, all for sale!
1294
00:46:11,437 --> 00:46:12,895
All for sale, all for sale!
1295
00:46:12,896 --> 00:46:14,355
- Don't go, Mother!
1296
00:46:14,356 --> 00:46:15,189
Stop!
1297
00:46:15,190 --> 00:46:16,900
Listen, Mother, stop!
1298
00:46:18,777 --> 00:46:21,572
(Cliff screaming)
1299
00:46:27,327 --> 00:46:28,161
No!
1300
00:46:28,162 --> 00:46:30,956
No, I will not sell my own mother!
1301
00:46:33,542 --> 00:46:35,209
- Of course you wouldn't, dear.
1302
00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:37,254
But it's a sweet thought.
1303
00:46:47,306 --> 00:46:50,933
- (sighs) Anybody care to
comment on the concept of uh...
1304
00:46:50,934 --> 00:46:52,226
Death before dishonor?
1305
00:46:52,227 --> 00:46:53,020
- Look!
1306
00:46:53,937 --> 00:46:54,771
- [Cliff] Comments, anyone?
1307
00:46:54,772 --> 00:46:56,148
- She's pregnant!
1308
00:46:57,357 --> 00:46:58,191
- No?
1309
00:46:58,192 --> 00:46:59,942
Good. (slams head)
1310
00:46:59,943 --> 00:47:01,444
(bell ringing)
- [Student] Come on, let's go.
1311
00:47:01,445 --> 00:47:03,946
(students chattering)
1312
00:47:03,947 --> 00:47:07,200
- [Student] All right, see ya!
1313
00:47:07,201 --> 00:47:09,452
- Ah, I need to get some sleep.
1314
00:47:09,453 --> 00:47:13,456
Edison used to nap in
his lab for two hours.
1315
00:47:13,457 --> 00:47:16,584
Napoleon fought a war on four.
1316
00:47:16,585 --> 00:47:20,505
Greater men than me have had less sleep.
1317
00:47:20,506 --> 00:47:21,298
Oh...
1318
00:47:23,634 --> 00:47:24,467
- [Mr. Skirlow] Son?
1319
00:47:24,468 --> 00:47:25,843
- Oh!
1320
00:47:25,844 --> 00:47:28,304
- Oh, son, I'm glad you
stopped by before leaving.
1321
00:47:28,305 --> 00:47:29,138
- Leaving?
1322
00:47:29,139 --> 00:47:30,473
- Yeah, well you're going into the city.
1323
00:47:30,474 --> 00:47:33,184
Harmon Rousehorn's train
is arriving at 11:00
1324
00:47:33,185 --> 00:47:35,436
and you have to arrange for the caterers
1325
00:47:35,437 --> 00:47:37,104
for the welcome dinner here tomorrow night
1326
00:47:37,105 --> 00:47:40,191
and you have to pick
him up at the station.
1327
00:47:40,192 --> 00:47:42,109
Here, uh, take the Buick.
1328
00:47:42,110 --> 00:47:43,569
And uh...
1329
00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:45,196
Get yourself together.
1330
00:47:45,197 --> 00:47:46,406
You're a sight.
1331
00:47:54,581 --> 00:47:56,749
- Rousehorn, train.
1332
00:47:56,750 --> 00:47:58,167
Edison, nap.
1333
00:47:58,168 --> 00:47:59,001
Two hours.
1334
00:47:59,002 --> 00:48:00,336
- Yo, Skridlow, what's happening, man?
1335
00:48:00,337 --> 00:48:01,170
- Uh...
1336
00:48:01,171 --> 00:48:02,630
- Hey, where you going, man?
1337
00:48:02,631 --> 00:48:03,881
- Talk, Khyber's.
1338
00:48:03,882 --> 00:48:06,300
Union Station, train.
1339
00:48:06,301 --> 00:48:07,635
Rousehorn.
1340
00:48:07,636 --> 00:48:08,469
Sleep.
1341
00:48:08,470 --> 00:48:09,512
- What are you talking about, man?
1342
00:48:09,513 --> 00:48:10,596
No, wait, man, you've got
a meeting with Mom tonight
1343
00:48:10,597 --> 00:48:12,598
at some graveyard, remember?
1344
00:48:12,599 --> 00:48:15,601
You made this date so you got to keep it.
1345
00:48:15,602 --> 00:48:18,062
Where's Doctor Detroit, man?
1346
00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:19,689
Where's Doctor Detroit?
1347
00:48:19,690 --> 00:48:20,523
- Doctor Detroit?
1348
00:48:20,524 --> 00:48:21,524
- Yeah.
1349
00:48:21,525 --> 00:48:22,901
- Doctor Detroit!
1350
00:48:23,861 --> 00:48:26,572
(dramatic music)
1351
00:48:27,698 --> 00:48:30,950
I'll make this phone call,
I'll take care of everything.
1352
00:48:30,951 --> 00:48:31,743
- Cool.
1353
00:48:34,204 --> 00:48:37,123
(dial tones beeping)
1354
00:48:37,124 --> 00:48:37,957
- Information.
1355
00:48:37,958 --> 00:48:38,791
What city, please?
1356
00:48:38,792 --> 00:48:40,626
- Yes, for the city of Chicago.
1357
00:48:40,627 --> 00:48:43,713
Number of Mom's Limousine Service.
1358
00:48:43,714 --> 00:48:44,506
Thank you.
1359
00:48:51,263 --> 00:48:53,724
Yes, I'd like to speak to Mom.
1360
00:48:54,683 --> 00:48:55,516
- [Mom] Hello.
1361
00:48:55,517 --> 00:48:58,185
Yeah, yeah, this is Mom speaking.
1362
00:48:58,186 --> 00:48:59,604
- (faking rasp) Ah...
1363
00:48:59,605 --> 00:49:00,397
Uh...
1364
00:49:02,608 --> 00:49:03,901
Hey, hello, Mom?
1365
00:49:05,694 --> 00:49:08,321
Uh, this is the Doctor.
1366
00:49:08,322 --> 00:49:09,531
Doctor Detroit.
1367
00:49:10,741 --> 00:49:13,659
Yeah, I'm sorry about the static.
1368
00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:17,538
I'm on the mobile phone
in my car right now
1369
00:49:17,539 --> 00:49:20,374
and I'm on my way down I-94.
1370
00:49:20,375 --> 00:49:22,501
Yes, I came all the way down from Detroit
1371
00:49:22,502 --> 00:49:24,670
and I'm not very happy about it!
1372
00:49:24,671 --> 00:49:25,713
Now, look, Mom.
1373
00:49:25,714 --> 00:49:29,091
About our little meeting
tonight at midnight, I...
1374
00:49:29,092 --> 00:49:30,552
It's not midnight.
1375
00:49:31,553 --> 00:49:32,386
No.
1376
00:49:32,387 --> 00:49:37,351
I know he said that, but I
can't make it at midnight.
1377
00:49:37,559 --> 00:49:39,226
Of course it's short notice.
1378
00:49:39,227 --> 00:49:40,478
Now, you look!
1379
00:49:40,479 --> 00:49:42,146
I mean, look here...
1380
00:49:42,147 --> 00:49:46,067
It's your little pink plump
rump in the ringer, not mine.
1381
00:49:46,068 --> 00:49:47,818
So you make it nine o'clock or not.
1382
00:49:47,819 --> 00:49:49,070
- [Mom] Just bite it, buster!
1383
00:49:49,071 --> 00:49:52,073
- Yeah, well, you bite it yourself, Mom.
1384
00:49:52,074 --> 00:49:53,240
Bye.
1385
00:49:53,241 --> 00:49:56,203
(dial tone humming)
1386
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,500
- Say, man, how you
gonna get away with this
1387
00:50:02,501 --> 00:50:06,629
playing all that, uh, uh, uh, shit, huh?
1388
00:50:06,630 --> 00:50:08,547
- Fear not, Sancho.
1389
00:50:08,548 --> 00:50:09,757
Say no more.
1390
00:50:09,758 --> 00:50:12,218
Let's ask ourselves,
what would El Zorro do
1391
00:50:12,219 --> 00:50:13,803
in a situation like this or
1392
00:50:13,804 --> 00:50:15,429
Man of La Mancha?
1393
00:50:15,430 --> 00:50:17,556
Strategy, purity, bravery.
1394
00:50:17,557 --> 00:50:18,975
I am many.
1395
00:50:18,976 --> 00:50:20,142
I am one.
1396
00:50:20,143 --> 00:50:22,561
- Yeah, you one crazy
individual human being, man.
1397
00:50:22,562 --> 00:50:24,146
- Come on!
1398
00:50:24,147 --> 00:50:26,858
(dramatic music)
1399
00:50:40,622 --> 00:50:41,455
Ooh, ooh, lift me up!
1400
00:50:41,456 --> 00:50:42,373
That, I want that!
1401
00:50:42,374 --> 00:50:44,333
- What do you want that thing for?
1402
00:50:44,334 --> 00:50:47,129
(thrilling music)
1403
00:51:07,149 --> 00:51:10,944
- Right, this is the
graveyard we agreed upon.
1404
00:51:12,029 --> 00:51:15,323
Um, everybody just, uh, stay in the car.
1405
00:51:28,211 --> 00:51:30,463
From inside the jouster's tents,
1406
00:51:30,464 --> 00:51:33,966
the sound of the armorers
accomplishing the knights,
1407
00:51:33,967 --> 00:51:37,928
busy hammers closing rivets
up give dreadful note
1408
00:51:37,929 --> 00:51:39,139
of preparation.
1409
00:51:41,224 --> 00:51:43,935
(dramatic music)
1410
00:52:01,745 --> 00:52:03,079
- Damn, he won't show.
1411
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:04,914
- Sure he will.
1412
00:52:04,915 --> 00:52:08,459
I'll give that son of a bitch
just another five minutes.
1413
00:52:08,460 --> 00:52:10,252
- And then what, Mom?
1414
00:52:10,253 --> 00:52:12,213
- Well, I'll wait some more.
1415
00:52:12,214 --> 00:52:15,050
I've got all night to kill his ass.
1416
00:52:17,385 --> 00:52:20,097
(dramatic music)
1417
00:53:24,452 --> 00:53:26,453
- (raspy) Uh, all right now.
1418
00:53:26,454 --> 00:53:30,584
Which one of you is Mom? (laughs)
1419
00:53:34,254 --> 00:53:37,923
Punctuality is a virtue, my good madame.
1420
00:53:37,924 --> 00:53:39,884
Let's chew the fat.
1421
00:53:39,885 --> 00:53:41,468
- Just what's that supposed to mean?
1422
00:53:41,469 --> 00:53:43,512
- Oh, nothing personal, Love Chunks,
1423
00:53:43,513 --> 00:53:45,139
but can we get to it?
1424
00:53:45,140 --> 00:53:47,725
You know I hate to come
down from Wayne County.
1425
00:53:47,726 --> 00:53:49,268
I have businesses in Lansing,
1426
00:53:49,269 --> 00:53:51,061
I have muffler shops, chicken chains.
1427
00:53:51,062 --> 00:53:52,688
I got slums to collect the rent from.
1428
00:53:52,689 --> 00:53:54,940
I have a chiropractic practice.
1429
00:53:54,941 --> 00:53:56,692
I make adjustments
(snap)
1430
00:53:56,693 --> 00:53:58,527
to the human spine.
1431
00:53:58,528 --> 00:54:00,696
And this little trip has cut far too much
1432
00:54:00,697 --> 00:54:03,574
into my professional time.
1433
00:54:03,575 --> 00:54:05,659
- I figured that since
you're hustling my turf
1434
00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:06,870
we should talk.
1435
00:54:08,413 --> 00:54:09,706
I run this town.
1436
00:54:11,583 --> 00:54:13,000
- Uh, ah!
1437
00:54:13,001 --> 00:54:14,418
Lurking in the dark!
1438
00:54:14,419 --> 00:54:15,836
Nasty things!
1439
00:54:15,837 --> 00:54:16,837
Come out!
1440
00:54:16,838 --> 00:54:18,214
- [Mom] Okay, fellas, come on!
1441
00:54:18,215 --> 00:54:19,090
- Come out!
1442
00:54:23,303 --> 00:54:25,054
Come on out here, yeah, that's right.
1443
00:54:25,055 --> 00:54:28,183
Out here where the Doctor can see you.
1444
00:54:30,352 --> 00:54:32,353
- Lighten up, come on,
Skridlow, be cool, man.
1445
00:54:32,354 --> 00:54:33,979
Be cool, don't blow it, man.
1446
00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:35,731
- You wanna move in on
me without permission,
1447
00:54:35,732 --> 00:54:37,233
without consideration?
1448
00:54:37,234 --> 00:54:38,776
You gotta pay!
1449
00:54:38,777 --> 00:54:40,820
- The Doctor doesn't pay.
1450
00:54:43,114 --> 00:54:43,948
- That's it?
1451
00:54:43,949 --> 00:54:48,035
- The Doctor doesn't pay
and he doesn't worry.
1452
00:54:48,036 --> 00:54:50,371
Now, Mom, if you want trouble,
1453
00:54:50,372 --> 00:54:52,665
I am talking about scorched earth!
1454
00:54:52,666 --> 00:54:53,749
No survival!
1455
00:54:53,750 --> 00:54:55,334
Wholesale destruction!
1456
00:54:55,335 --> 00:54:56,168
- Calm down, Cliff.
1457
00:54:56,169 --> 00:54:57,628
- Please help me, God, I
wanna live, I wanna live.
1458
00:54:57,629 --> 00:54:58,671
Please bless me.
- Oh my God.
1459
00:54:58,672 --> 00:55:03,635
- Body bags and fire, trouble,
then you just keep coming on!
1460
00:55:03,802 --> 00:55:05,970
- You don't know what
trouble is, jerk-off!
1461
00:55:05,971 --> 00:55:09,098
- Mom, I am going to rip off your head
1462
00:55:09,099 --> 00:55:11,059
and shit down your neck.
1463
00:55:15,272 --> 00:55:16,563
- Kill him!
1464
00:55:16,564 --> 00:55:17,398
Kill him!
1465
00:55:17,399 --> 00:55:19,859
(guns firing)
1466
00:55:24,906 --> 00:55:26,073
Get in the car, get after him!
1467
00:55:26,074 --> 00:55:26,907
You go there!
1468
00:55:26,908 --> 00:55:29,576
(Diavolo and ladies shouting)
1469
00:55:29,577 --> 00:55:32,496
(gun firing)
1470
00:55:32,497 --> 00:55:33,330
- Don't shoot!
1471
00:55:33,331 --> 00:55:34,957
We were on our way to
Leon's for some ribs, man,
1472
00:55:34,958 --> 00:55:35,791
and he was hitchhiking.
1473
00:55:35,792 --> 00:55:37,459
We don't even know this
cat, man, he's crazy!
1474
00:55:37,460 --> 00:55:38,253
- Whoa!
1475
00:55:41,965 --> 00:55:42,798
- Get outta here!
1476
00:55:42,799 --> 00:55:43,591
Go on!
1477
00:55:44,926 --> 00:55:45,968
- Hey guys!
1478
00:55:45,969 --> 00:55:46,761
Hey, stop!
1479
00:55:49,639 --> 00:55:51,181
I uh...
1480
00:55:51,182 --> 00:55:53,267
Ah, I'm Clifford Skridlow!
1481
00:55:53,268 --> 00:55:54,477
I teach school!
1482
00:55:56,104 --> 00:55:57,938
I don't even know these girls!
1483
00:55:57,939 --> 00:55:59,398
I met them in a restaurant!
1484
00:55:59,399 --> 00:56:00,858
I have nothing against you personally!
1485
00:56:00,859 --> 00:56:02,276
Jesus, they're serious.
1486
00:56:02,277 --> 00:56:03,570
They're serious.
1487
00:56:04,529 --> 00:56:06,780
(car crashing)
1488
00:56:06,781 --> 00:56:08,073
Oh my god!
1489
00:56:08,074 --> 00:56:08,867
Yikes!
1490
00:56:17,667 --> 00:56:19,626
(car crashing)
1491
00:56:19,627 --> 00:56:20,420
Whoa!
1492
00:56:21,838 --> 00:56:24,173
(collapsing)
1493
00:56:24,174 --> 00:56:24,966
Yeah!
1494
00:56:25,884 --> 00:56:28,428
Nothing can destroy the Doctor!
1495
00:56:29,512 --> 00:56:30,346
- Hey, come on!
1496
00:56:30,347 --> 00:56:31,764
Get him, get him, get him!
1497
00:56:31,765 --> 00:56:34,308
- Out of the way, knave!
1498
00:56:34,309 --> 00:56:36,810
(thrilling music)
1499
00:56:36,811 --> 00:56:37,728
The battle wages on!
1500
00:56:37,729 --> 00:56:38,812
Run for your lives!
1501
00:56:38,813 --> 00:56:39,606
Run!
1502
00:56:41,107 --> 00:56:43,318
Mom, you'll never catch me!
1503
00:56:44,402 --> 00:56:45,319
Never!
1504
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,196
Run away, run away!
1505
00:56:47,197 --> 00:56:48,030
- Guys, we need those girls.
1506
00:56:48,031 --> 00:56:50,574
You need to stop him, come on!
1507
00:56:50,575 --> 00:56:53,912
Oh God, what have I done to deserve this?
1508
00:56:56,873 --> 00:56:59,834
(car speeding past)
1509
00:57:10,470 --> 00:57:12,429
(vehicle reversing)
1510
00:57:12,430 --> 00:57:13,263
What the hell?
1511
00:57:13,264 --> 00:57:14,098
What the...
1512
00:57:14,099 --> 00:57:15,391
Hey, what the hell you doing?
1513
00:57:15,392 --> 00:57:17,352
- I've got you now, Mom!
1514
00:57:18,895 --> 00:57:19,728
- What the hell's...
1515
00:57:19,729 --> 00:57:22,272
- Going up, Love Chunks!
1516
00:57:22,273 --> 00:57:23,190
- Come on!
1517
00:57:23,191 --> 00:57:25,984
- Oh yes, this one's on the Doctor.
1518
00:57:25,985 --> 00:57:27,569
- I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you!
1519
00:57:27,570 --> 00:57:28,404
(Cliff laughing)
1520
00:57:28,405 --> 00:57:29,238
- Where are we going?
1521
00:57:29,239 --> 00:57:30,072
- I hope it doesn't pinch.
1522
00:57:30,073 --> 00:57:30,906
- Wait, no, come on!
1523
00:57:30,907 --> 00:57:31,740
This isn't funny!
1524
00:57:31,741 --> 00:57:32,574
- Shut up, I don't wanna hear you anymore.
1525
00:57:32,575 --> 00:57:33,742
- [Mom] We can make deal!
1526
00:57:33,743 --> 00:57:34,868
Let's make a deal!
1527
00:57:34,869 --> 00:57:35,702
Come on, now!
1528
00:57:35,703 --> 00:57:36,537
- Mom!
1529
00:57:36,538 --> 00:57:37,663
- Let me down!
1530
00:57:37,664 --> 00:57:39,415
- Goodnight, Mom.
1531
00:57:39,416 --> 00:57:41,375
- [Mom] This minute!
1532
00:57:41,376 --> 00:57:44,336
(Mom shouts and crashes)
1533
00:57:44,337 --> 00:57:46,839
(triumphant music)
1534
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,132
- Cliff!
- Come on!
1535
00:57:48,133 --> 00:57:49,342
Come on, quick!
1536
00:57:54,389 --> 00:57:55,305
- Drive!
1537
00:57:55,306 --> 00:57:56,598
Drive!
1538
00:57:56,599 --> 00:57:58,976
Nothing can stop us!
1539
00:57:58,977 --> 00:58:00,561
- This'll stop 'em!
1540
00:58:00,562 --> 00:58:01,812
- Charge!
1541
00:58:01,813 --> 00:58:03,564
Onward through the gates!
1542
00:58:03,565 --> 00:58:05,524
(ladies screaming)
1543
00:58:05,525 --> 00:58:07,735
(crashing)
1544
00:58:09,779 --> 00:58:12,657
(triumphant music)
1545
00:58:21,499 --> 00:58:23,460
Onward to Union Station!
1546
00:58:24,586 --> 00:58:27,297
(all exclaiming)
1547
00:58:28,923 --> 00:58:31,925
- [Station Announcer] Arriving at Track 14
1548
00:58:31,926 --> 00:58:33,094
from St. Louis.
1549
00:58:50,820 --> 00:58:52,321
- Well, he's got to be there, Harmon.
1550
00:58:52,322 --> 00:58:53,614
He left here hours ago.
1551
00:58:53,615 --> 00:58:54,990
- What's the matter, dear?
1552
00:58:54,991 --> 00:58:57,201
- Cliff is late and Rousehorn's pissed.
1553
00:58:57,202 --> 00:58:58,785
You're, uh, you're missed, Harmon.
1554
00:58:58,786 --> 00:59:00,913
I said that we miss you very much.
1555
00:59:00,914 --> 00:59:01,872
(Mrs. Skridlow laughs)
1556
00:59:01,873 --> 00:59:03,749
- Arthur, take it easy.
1557
00:59:03,750 --> 00:59:05,250
I'll be there.
1558
00:59:05,251 --> 00:59:07,586
- Mister, you want a taxi?
1559
00:59:07,587 --> 00:59:09,129
- Are you a taxi?
1560
00:59:09,130 --> 00:59:10,255
- No, jerk-off, I'm a person,
1561
00:59:10,256 --> 00:59:11,507
but I do drive a taxi.
1562
00:59:11,508 --> 00:59:12,424
It's right outside.
1563
00:59:12,425 --> 00:59:14,009
- Can you take me to Monroe College?
1564
00:59:14,010 --> 00:59:14,843
- Sure thing.
1565
00:59:14,844 --> 00:59:16,512
Hey, TJ, I got a customer.
1566
00:59:16,513 --> 00:59:17,555
- I'm coming!
1567
00:59:23,186 --> 00:59:24,479
- Mr. Rousehorn!
1568
00:59:27,982 --> 00:59:29,775
Mr. Rousehorn!
1569
00:59:29,776 --> 00:59:30,943
- [Thelma] Is there a
Rousehorn in the house?
1570
00:59:30,944 --> 00:59:32,237
- Mr. Rousehorn!
1571
00:59:34,697 --> 00:59:36,823
- Okay, let's try again now.
1572
00:59:36,824 --> 00:59:39,117
For the 200th time,
1573
00:59:39,118 --> 00:59:41,328
you got to the train station and?
1574
00:59:41,329 --> 00:59:43,622
- And he wasn't there,
I looked everywhere.
1575
00:59:43,623 --> 00:59:44,790
- Well, then where is he?
1576
00:59:44,791 --> 00:59:47,084
And where is the endowment
check for the college?
1577
00:59:47,085 --> 00:59:48,377
- Father, I haven't the foggiest idea.
1578
00:59:48,378 --> 00:59:49,461
I really don't know.
1579
00:59:49,462 --> 00:59:51,213
- Boys, you've been
through this all morning.
1580
00:59:51,214 --> 00:59:52,631
Now, darling, have some breakfast.
1581
00:59:52,632 --> 00:59:54,967
- No, no, no, not until I
know that Rousehorn is safe
1582
00:59:54,968 --> 00:59:56,301
and that check is safe with him.
1583
00:59:56,302 --> 00:59:57,970
Margaret, I feel that
you don't understand.
1584
00:59:57,971 --> 01:00:00,222
We have no cash flow.
1585
01:00:00,223 --> 01:00:01,431
Without that check, we are over,
1586
01:00:01,432 --> 01:00:02,766
through, finished, forget it.
1587
01:00:02,767 --> 01:00:04,768
- Eighty-sixed, no more,
history, color it gone.
1588
01:00:04,769 --> 01:00:05,602
- Don't help.
1589
01:00:05,603 --> 01:00:06,436
Oh, don't...
1590
01:00:06,437 --> 01:00:07,271
Don't you help.
1591
01:00:07,272 --> 01:00:08,105
(vehicle approaching)
1592
01:00:08,106 --> 01:00:09,189
Oh my God, no.
1593
01:00:09,190 --> 01:00:10,566
What is it?
1594
01:00:10,567 --> 01:00:11,692
Well, it's the police.
1595
01:00:11,693 --> 01:00:12,902
See, he's dead.
1596
01:00:14,445 --> 01:00:15,654
Oh, I hope they found the check.
1597
01:00:15,655 --> 01:00:16,572
- Oh, it's all right, darling.
1598
01:00:16,573 --> 01:00:17,864
Everything's going to be fine.
1599
01:00:17,865 --> 01:00:18,908
Come on, now.
1600
01:00:25,248 --> 01:00:26,373
- Harmon?
1601
01:00:26,374 --> 01:00:28,709
My heavens, what happened?
1602
01:00:28,710 --> 01:00:30,586
Well, thank God you're safe!
1603
01:00:30,587 --> 01:00:32,087
- He said he was on his way here,
1604
01:00:32,088 --> 01:00:33,714
so this is where we brought him.
1605
01:00:33,715 --> 01:00:35,507
- Oh, you need some hot tea.
1606
01:00:35,508 --> 01:00:36,842
- I kept the case.
1607
01:00:36,843 --> 01:00:37,759
The check is safe.
1608
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:38,594
- Ah!
1609
01:00:38,595 --> 01:00:39,428
- I need a shower.
1610
01:00:39,429 --> 01:00:40,262
- Oh, I'm sorry, sir,
1611
01:00:40,263 --> 01:00:41,221
but I've got to have that blanket back.
1612
01:00:41,222 --> 01:00:43,390
That's a city blanket, I signed for it.
1613
01:00:43,391 --> 01:00:46,768
- Well, listen, there's no
need to linger out here.
1614
01:00:46,769 --> 01:00:50,272
Uh, welcome to Monroe,
you're in the guest room.
1615
01:00:50,273 --> 01:00:52,566
- All I know is I need a shower.
1616
01:00:52,567 --> 01:00:54,443
- Well, you're certainly dressed for one.
1617
01:00:54,444 --> 01:00:55,986
Now, tell me all about it.
1618
01:00:55,987 --> 01:00:57,529
How did they get your pants off?
1619
01:00:57,530 --> 01:00:59,114
- One leg at a time.
1620
01:00:59,115 --> 01:00:59,948
- Of course.
1621
01:00:59,949 --> 01:01:01,617
Did they molest you, did you struggle?
1622
01:01:01,618 --> 01:01:03,827
I want all the details.
1623
01:01:03,828 --> 01:01:06,788
- Only a benevolent deity
could have prevented him
1624
01:01:06,789 --> 01:01:08,582
from losing that check.
1625
01:01:08,583 --> 01:01:11,418
Now, after dinner he is
gonna feel so much better.
1626
01:01:11,419 --> 01:01:13,128
What time are the caterers coming here?
1627
01:01:13,129 --> 01:01:14,129
- Caterer.
1628
01:01:14,130 --> 01:01:15,005
- The caterers.
1629
01:01:15,006 --> 01:01:16,089
For the welcome dinner.
1630
01:01:16,090 --> 01:01:18,592
Here, tonight, Rousehorn,
half the faculty.
1631
01:01:18,593 --> 01:01:19,926
Indian food, the Khyber restaurant.
1632
01:01:19,927 --> 01:01:20,761
Don't you dare tell me
that you neglected--
1633
01:01:20,762 --> 01:01:21,595
- Oh, no!
1634
01:01:21,596 --> 01:01:23,055
No, no, no, no, everything's
totally under control, Dad!
1635
01:01:23,056 --> 01:01:25,057
Everything's totally and
absolutely under control, uh,
1636
01:01:25,058 --> 01:01:28,727
catering, the chapatis, papadums, raita...
1637
01:01:28,728 --> 01:01:29,561
- Ah!
1638
01:01:29,562 --> 01:01:31,438
- Ha, got the curry, not to worry.
1639
01:01:31,439 --> 01:01:32,231
Bye!
1640
01:01:35,193 --> 01:01:36,735
Look out, gentleman, please!
1641
01:01:36,736 --> 01:01:39,571
Excuse me, coming through here!
1642
01:01:39,572 --> 01:01:41,156
Gangway!
1643
01:01:41,157 --> 01:01:42,949
Coming through, coming through!
1644
01:01:42,950 --> 01:01:44,327
Please, look out!
1645
01:01:45,495 --> 01:01:46,870
- Cliff, what is it?
1646
01:01:46,871 --> 01:01:47,746
- Catering!
1647
01:01:47,747 --> 01:01:49,122
The Khyber restaurant.
1648
01:01:49,123 --> 01:01:50,082
I did not do it.
1649
01:01:50,083 --> 01:01:51,625
I had to do it and I didn't do it
1650
01:01:51,626 --> 01:01:53,835
in the seconds and minutes
and hours, it's not done!
1651
01:01:53,836 --> 01:01:54,670
- All right, now just wait a minute,
1652
01:01:54,671 --> 01:01:57,714
now, look, just relax, okay?
1653
01:01:57,715 --> 01:01:59,007
Now, what is the problem?
1654
01:01:59,008 --> 01:02:02,386
- I lost Rousehorn, I've got
these term papers to correct.
1655
01:02:02,387 --> 01:02:05,138
The college is on the verge of bankruptcy.
1656
01:02:05,139 --> 01:02:06,431
My eyes can't focus,
1657
01:02:06,432 --> 01:02:08,016
my tongue tastes like a skidmark,
1658
01:02:08,017 --> 01:02:08,975
I need some sleep.
1659
01:02:08,976 --> 01:02:09,893
- Okay, all right.
1660
01:02:09,894 --> 01:02:11,353
So you sleep, okay?
1661
01:02:11,354 --> 01:02:13,313
Edison survived on two
hours of sleep a night.
1662
01:02:13,314 --> 01:02:14,981
He took catnaps in his lab.
1663
01:02:14,982 --> 01:02:17,025
- That's right.
1664
01:02:17,026 --> 01:02:18,527
- All right.
1665
01:02:18,528 --> 01:02:20,904
Uh, catnaps, Edison.
1666
01:02:20,905 --> 01:02:23,365
Two hours I'm gonna...
1667
01:02:23,366 --> 01:02:24,783
I'm gonna sleep.
1668
01:02:24,784 --> 01:02:26,410
This is good.
1669
01:02:26,411 --> 01:02:27,203
Sleep.
1670
01:02:28,871 --> 01:02:30,288
- What do you think I should
do about these papers?
1671
01:02:30,289 --> 01:02:31,123
- Give them all a B.
1672
01:02:31,124 --> 01:02:33,625
That's all they deserve anyway.
1673
01:02:33,626 --> 01:02:34,459
- [Karen] Yello?
1674
01:02:34,460 --> 01:02:35,502
- Hello, Karen?
1675
01:02:35,503 --> 01:02:37,629
- Hi, Monica, what's up?
1676
01:02:37,630 --> 01:02:38,630
What?
1677
01:02:38,631 --> 01:02:39,631
He needs catering?
1678
01:02:39,632 --> 01:02:40,799
Arrangements?
1679
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:42,968
Honey, catering is my middle name!
1680
01:02:42,969 --> 01:02:44,928
Karen "Catering" Blittstein.
1681
01:02:44,929 --> 01:02:46,346
Sure.
1682
01:02:46,347 --> 01:02:49,725
I put two sisters through
gorgeous, gorgeous weddings
1683
01:02:49,726 --> 01:02:51,309
and I'm not talking no cocktail franks
1684
01:02:51,310 --> 01:02:53,019
and miniature knishes, neither.
1685
01:02:53,020 --> 01:02:54,230
- Karen, shush!
1686
01:02:55,273 --> 01:02:57,357
Will you just take care of it?
1687
01:02:57,358 --> 01:02:58,442
- I'll get there as soon as I can.
1688
01:02:58,443 --> 01:03:00,152
Okay, bye, I love you.
1689
01:03:00,153 --> 01:03:01,027
Shit.
1690
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:01,862
- What?
1691
01:03:01,863 --> 01:03:02,696
- I don't have time to cook!
1692
01:03:02,697 --> 01:03:05,825
I'm gonna have to improvise something.
1693
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:08,744
(classical piano music)
1694
01:03:08,745 --> 01:03:10,704
- This is refreshing medication.
1695
01:03:10,705 --> 01:03:14,666
- (laughs) Now, then,
that Harold Robbins Chair.
1696
01:03:14,667 --> 01:03:17,085
It's quite an endowment, huh?
1697
01:03:17,086 --> 01:03:20,380
- More than a penny and
less than the national debt.
1698
01:03:20,381 --> 01:03:21,214
(laughing)
1699
01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:23,717
- Now then, like what
amount are we talking...
1700
01:03:23,718 --> 01:03:25,677
I mean, I don't mean
for you to be specific,
1701
01:03:25,678 --> 01:03:26,845
I mean just generally, you know,
1702
01:03:26,846 --> 01:03:27,679
in round numbers.
1703
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:29,055
What amount are we talking about?
1704
01:03:29,056 --> 01:03:29,890
Just about...
1705
01:03:29,891 --> 01:03:32,017
- For that, Arthur, you'll
have to wait until tomorrow.
1706
01:03:32,018 --> 01:03:32,851
- Ah.
1707
01:03:32,852 --> 01:03:34,186
- I want to treasure the
look on everyone's face
1708
01:03:34,187 --> 01:03:36,730
when our corporate
generosity is made public.
1709
01:03:36,731 --> 01:03:40,025
- Absolutely, I couldn't agree more.
1710
01:03:40,026 --> 01:03:41,610
(telephone rings)
1711
01:03:41,611 --> 01:03:42,819
- Help!
1712
01:03:42,820 --> 01:03:44,029
Help!
1713
01:03:44,030 --> 01:03:45,614
Oh, I'm buried alive!
1714
01:03:45,615 --> 01:03:47,032
(telephone rings)
1715
01:03:47,033 --> 01:03:48,242
Oh, let me out!
1716
01:03:56,626 --> 01:03:57,459
Hello.
1717
01:03:57,460 --> 01:03:58,293
- [Karen] Cliff, where are you?
1718
01:03:58,294 --> 01:03:59,127
It's 7:30!
1719
01:03:59,128 --> 01:03:59,961
- What?
1720
01:03:59,962 --> 01:04:00,796
What time is it?
- [Karen] 7:30!
1721
01:04:00,797 --> 01:04:01,630
- It is?
1722
01:04:01,631 --> 01:04:02,464
- [Karen] Yes!
1723
01:04:02,465 --> 01:04:03,298
- Oh, I'm coming.
1724
01:04:03,299 --> 01:04:04,132
- [Karen] Hurry up, get over here!
1725
01:04:04,133 --> 01:04:06,134
- I'll be right there, I'm gone!
1726
01:04:06,135 --> 01:04:09,096
(guests chattering)
1727
01:04:10,598 --> 01:04:11,431
- [Mr. Skridlow] Son!
1728
01:04:11,432 --> 01:04:12,933
Uh, son, before you change your clothes.
1729
01:04:12,934 --> 01:04:14,601
- Ah, Skridlow.
1730
01:04:14,602 --> 01:04:16,102
- Hello, Fulsom, how are you?
1731
01:04:16,103 --> 01:04:17,687
- That boy just work,
work, work, won't you,
1732
01:04:17,688 --> 01:04:19,564
Harmon, you don't know
my son, Clifford, do you?
1733
01:04:19,565 --> 01:04:22,776
He's one of the bright stars
of our English department.
1734
01:04:22,777 --> 01:04:23,610
- Oh, we've met.
1735
01:04:23,611 --> 01:04:25,028
Not on time, but we've met.
1736
01:04:25,029 --> 01:04:26,154
- Oh! (laughs)
1737
01:04:26,155 --> 01:04:27,030
- This morning, Father, remember?
1738
01:04:27,031 --> 01:04:29,032
Uh, I'm so sorry about last night, Harmon,
1739
01:04:29,033 --> 01:04:31,076
er, Mr. Rousehorn, about
missing your train, I--
1740
01:04:31,077 --> 01:04:32,077
- It's in the past.
1741
01:04:32,078 --> 01:04:34,120
- It is totally forgotten and forgiven.
1742
01:04:34,121 --> 01:04:35,330
- Let's just say it's in the past.
1743
01:04:35,331 --> 01:04:39,501
- Oh, I just know this is
gonna be a lively evening!
1744
01:04:39,502 --> 01:04:43,380
Oh, Clifford, those girls are wonderful.
1745
01:04:43,381 --> 01:04:46,007
You certainly have
everything under control.
1746
01:04:46,008 --> 01:04:47,509
- Girls?
1747
01:04:47,510 --> 01:04:48,885
- I think I'll take the red caviar
1748
01:04:48,886 --> 01:04:49,803
and put it on the round cracker.
1749
01:04:49,804 --> 01:04:51,054
You think they'll like that, honey?
1750
01:04:51,055 --> 01:04:52,222
- (stammering) What's going on here?
1751
01:04:52,223 --> 01:04:53,181
What is this?
1752
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:54,099
I mean, do you have any idea
1753
01:04:54,100 --> 01:04:56,893
how college faculty members
eat on what we get paid?
1754
01:04:56,894 --> 01:04:59,020
A free meal is like honey
to a bear to these people!
1755
01:04:59,021 --> 01:05:01,356
They're going to want to
eat enough to hibernate on.
1756
01:05:01,357 --> 01:05:02,566
They're animals!
1757
01:05:02,567 --> 01:05:04,067
I mean, where are we gonna
get enough Indian food
1758
01:05:04,068 --> 01:05:05,527
to feed all of 'em?
1759
01:05:05,528 --> 01:05:07,946
- Swami Diavolo's finger-lickin'
Hindu fried chicken,
1760
01:05:07,947 --> 01:05:08,905
my friend Skridlow.
1761
01:05:08,906 --> 01:05:10,991
- The rest, as my people
say, is up to karma.
1762
01:05:10,992 --> 01:05:12,534
Don't worry, Cliffie.
1763
01:05:12,535 --> 01:05:14,536
- Jesus Christ, Karen,
you said this was curry.
1764
01:05:14,537 --> 01:05:15,370
This is not curry--
1765
01:05:15,371 --> 01:05:16,204
- Thelma, it will be.
1766
01:05:16,205 --> 01:05:17,455
Will you calm down?
1767
01:05:17,456 --> 01:05:18,290
- Okay.
1768
01:05:18,291 --> 01:05:19,666
- Cliff, go upstairs and shower and change
1769
01:05:19,667 --> 01:05:21,626
and put something on that's nice.
1770
01:05:21,627 --> 01:05:23,295
Look a little GQ, would you?
1771
01:05:23,296 --> 01:05:25,338
Monica, go outside and
schmooze with the people.
1772
01:05:25,339 --> 01:05:26,256
- Right, Sarge.
1773
01:05:26,257 --> 01:05:28,174
- Okay, Thelma, come here
now, I'm gonna show you.
1774
01:05:28,175 --> 01:05:31,261
Take the olive and the pimento,
make happy faces, okay?
1775
01:05:31,262 --> 01:05:32,095
- I like that.
1776
01:05:32,096 --> 01:05:33,847
- Good, okay, here we go.
1777
01:05:33,848 --> 01:05:35,974
- Well, of course, that
was in the Herbert Hoover
1778
01:05:35,975 --> 01:05:38,935
administration, which
in some ways is similar
1779
01:05:38,936 --> 01:05:40,478
to what we have today!
1780
01:05:40,479 --> 01:05:42,772
- Oh, Margaret, I fail to
see any similarity at all--
1781
01:05:42,773 --> 01:05:43,982
- She's just kidding, Henry.
1782
01:05:43,983 --> 01:05:45,650
She's a real kidder.
1783
01:05:45,651 --> 01:05:47,110
- And I was reduced to my underwear.
1784
01:05:47,111 --> 01:05:49,029
It's been downhill ever since.
1785
01:05:49,030 --> 01:05:51,197
- Oh, my goodness.
1786
01:05:51,198 --> 01:05:53,742
You know, you look very
tired, Mr. Rousehorn.
1787
01:05:53,743 --> 01:05:55,493
You know, wealth and power have a way
1788
01:05:55,494 --> 01:05:58,830
of robbing a man of his
energies, don't they?
1789
01:05:58,831 --> 01:06:02,792
- That's very perceptive of you, Monica.
1790
01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:04,252
Very perceptive.
1791
01:06:04,253 --> 01:06:05,921
- I hear we're having Indian food.
1792
01:06:05,922 --> 01:06:08,006
- I certainly hope so.
1793
01:06:08,007 --> 01:06:09,174
- Chapatis, huh?
1794
01:06:09,175 --> 01:06:10,133
- Well, I...
1795
01:06:10,134 --> 01:06:12,135
I guess they've got a
few of those laid in, I--
1796
01:06:12,136 --> 01:06:13,720
- Hello, won't you excuse us, please?
1797
01:06:13,721 --> 01:06:14,804
You happy, gorgeous boy?
1798
01:06:14,805 --> 01:06:16,222
We're having some nice affair here.
1799
01:06:16,223 --> 01:06:17,432
Hi, how are you?
1800
01:06:17,433 --> 01:06:18,475
Nice to see you.
1801
01:06:18,476 --> 01:06:19,309
- It seems fine,
1802
01:06:19,310 --> 01:06:20,352
but I'm really worried
about the meal, Karen, I--
1803
01:06:20,353 --> 01:06:22,145
- Wait till you see the entertainment.
1804
01:06:22,146 --> 01:06:22,979
- What?
1805
01:06:22,980 --> 01:06:24,105
- Jasmine!
(boombox clicks)
1806
01:06:24,106 --> 01:06:25,732
Enter!
1807
01:06:25,733 --> 01:06:29,278
(Indian pop music playing)
1808
01:06:34,617 --> 01:06:35,576
- Hi, Cliff!
1809
01:06:37,161 --> 01:06:39,372
(clapping)
1810
01:06:52,385 --> 01:06:53,177
- Oh, my!
1811
01:06:54,553 --> 01:06:56,096
- Ooh.
1812
01:06:56,097 --> 01:06:59,516
(crowd laughing)
1813
01:06:59,517 --> 01:07:01,434
- Uh, she's, she's uh...
1814
01:07:01,435 --> 01:07:02,352
- She's terrific.
1815
01:07:02,353 --> 01:07:03,145
Come on.
1816
01:07:05,439 --> 01:07:06,982
Oh, you're ready!
1817
01:07:06,983 --> 01:07:07,774
- I'm ready.
1818
01:07:07,775 --> 01:07:09,943
- Okay, you set?
1819
01:07:09,944 --> 01:07:10,777
- We're set.
1820
01:07:10,778 --> 01:07:12,278
- All right, fire!
1821
01:07:12,279 --> 01:07:13,321
- Be careful, now.
1822
01:07:13,322 --> 01:07:14,489
Too much!
1823
01:07:14,490 --> 01:07:15,407
There's a fire!
1824
01:07:15,408 --> 01:07:16,783
Fire, don't panic!
1825
01:07:16,784 --> 01:07:17,617
- What are you doing?
1826
01:07:17,618 --> 01:07:18,451
Stop it!
1827
01:07:18,452 --> 01:07:19,285
(spraying)
1828
01:07:19,286 --> 01:07:20,412
- Skridlow, what are you doing, man?
1829
01:07:20,413 --> 01:07:22,497
- Stop this, please, Cliff!
1830
01:07:22,498 --> 01:07:25,250
Leave the arrangements to me, would you?
1831
01:07:25,251 --> 01:07:27,168
- Oh, this shit is so unique,
they're gonna love it!
1832
01:07:27,169 --> 01:07:29,170
They're gonna love this shit, I know it!
1833
01:07:29,171 --> 01:07:30,005
- Oh!
1834
01:07:30,006 --> 01:07:30,839
(Thelma coughing)
1835
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:31,673
- I panicked, I'm sorry, I panicked.
1836
01:07:31,674 --> 01:07:33,800
- It's okay, it's okay, just
none of us eat it, all right?
1837
01:07:33,801 --> 01:07:34,592
(Thelma coughs)
1838
01:07:34,593 --> 01:07:37,555
(guests applauding)
1839
01:07:41,017 --> 01:07:43,144
(chiming)
1840
01:07:46,355 --> 01:07:49,024
- Your dinner is now served.
1841
01:07:49,025 --> 01:07:50,734
- Come on, everybody!
1842
01:07:50,735 --> 01:07:53,696
(guests chattering)
1843
01:07:59,869 --> 01:08:01,578
- Mm, not bad!
1844
01:08:01,579 --> 01:08:03,163
- Beats fruit cup.
1845
01:08:03,164 --> 01:08:04,706
- Isn't it marvelous having so many
1846
01:08:04,707 --> 01:08:07,751
educated palates all in one place?
1847
01:08:07,752 --> 01:08:08,585
- Is she Indian?
1848
01:08:08,586 --> 01:08:09,627
- I think so.
1849
01:08:09,628 --> 01:08:12,047
- Mahatma Gandhi never had it so good.
1850
01:08:12,048 --> 01:08:12,881
- Truly.
1851
01:08:12,882 --> 01:08:15,133
'Course, he wasn't that
big an eater anyway.
1852
01:08:15,134 --> 01:08:18,178
- (laughs) That's funny.
1853
01:08:18,179 --> 01:08:20,138
- Ooh, sahib, follow me, brother.
1854
01:08:20,139 --> 01:08:24,185
(gibberish) Muhammad Ali, Allah.
1855
01:08:25,728 --> 01:08:26,644
- This is great.
1856
01:08:26,645 --> 01:08:28,063
This is tremendous, they're buying it!
1857
01:08:28,064 --> 01:08:28,897
You pulled it off.
1858
01:08:28,898 --> 01:08:29,939
I can't thank you enough.
1859
01:08:29,940 --> 01:08:30,940
- Hey, no problem, Skridlow,
1860
01:08:30,941 --> 01:08:32,734
but thank me in the car, okay, man?
1861
01:08:32,735 --> 01:08:33,735
- What do you mean in the car?
1862
01:08:33,736 --> 01:08:35,153
- Well, we have to go into town now, man.
1863
01:08:35,154 --> 01:08:35,987
- What?
1864
01:08:35,988 --> 01:08:36,905
Not me, I'm not going anywhere.
1865
01:08:36,906 --> 01:08:38,281
I haven't slept in days, Diavolo.
1866
01:08:38,282 --> 01:08:40,658
- Hey, listen, Cliff, we
don't have much time, okay?
1867
01:08:40,659 --> 01:08:42,202
The word is on the street.
1868
01:08:42,203 --> 01:08:43,703
You have to make an appearance.
1869
01:08:43,704 --> 01:08:46,790
'Cause the Doctor goes
public in about one hour.
1870
01:08:46,791 --> 01:08:47,999
- Are you crazy?
1871
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,417
- No, man, you're crazy.
1872
01:08:49,418 --> 01:08:51,503
You invented the dude, not me.
1873
01:08:51,504 --> 01:08:55,299
So I guess I'll catch
you in the car, brother.
1874
01:09:02,223 --> 01:09:03,181
- Oh, come on.
1875
01:09:03,182 --> 01:09:06,392
Everyone's talking about
how you stopped Mom.
1876
01:09:06,393 --> 01:09:08,812
Doctor Detroit has to
be on the scene, right?
1877
01:09:08,813 --> 01:09:09,896
- He has to.
- Right.
1878
01:09:09,897 --> 01:09:10,897
- That's the end of it.
1879
01:09:10,898 --> 01:09:12,982
- Say, man, now put this shit on.
1880
01:09:12,983 --> 01:09:14,400
Props in the bag.
1881
01:09:14,401 --> 01:09:16,362
- Oh, terrific, the bag.
1882
01:09:18,072 --> 01:09:19,072
I must say, though, ladies,
1883
01:09:19,073 --> 01:09:20,698
you have given me the most extraordinary
1884
01:09:20,699 --> 01:09:22,200
week of my life.
1885
01:09:22,201 --> 01:09:23,243
- Oh, sweetie.
1886
01:09:23,244 --> 01:09:24,077
- Really.
1887
01:09:24,078 --> 01:09:25,870
- Aw, man, you know, you're
gonna do good out here
1888
01:09:25,871 --> 01:09:28,873
in the city with that
wig and that metal hand.
1889
01:09:28,874 --> 01:09:31,042
Lime green pants.
1890
01:09:31,043 --> 01:09:31,919
- Mm, duty.
1891
01:09:33,546 --> 01:09:34,379
- Honor.
1892
01:09:34,380 --> 01:09:36,256
- And responsibility.
1893
01:09:36,257 --> 01:09:38,467
- Hey, be the Doctor, baby.
1894
01:09:39,593 --> 01:09:41,971
(funk music)
1895
01:09:52,523 --> 01:09:53,648
- Doctor, my man!
1896
01:09:53,649 --> 01:09:54,732
Give me five, man.
1897
01:09:54,733 --> 01:09:56,985
- I'll give you 20 and
you can keep the change.
1898
01:09:56,986 --> 01:09:59,070
- You're too much, man, too much, yeah.
1899
01:09:59,071 --> 01:10:00,530
See you at the Player's Ball, my man, huh?
1900
01:10:00,531 --> 01:10:03,533
- Uh, all right, all right.
1901
01:10:03,534 --> 01:10:05,326
- That was great, that was great.
1902
01:10:05,327 --> 01:10:06,161
- What's the Player's Ball?
1903
01:10:06,162 --> 01:10:06,995
- Nothing, nothing.
1904
01:10:06,996 --> 01:10:07,829
Be cool, be cool.
1905
01:10:07,830 --> 01:10:08,663
Hi!
1906
01:10:08,664 --> 01:10:09,497
- My man Doctor Detroit!
1907
01:10:09,498 --> 01:10:10,290
I heard you wiped Mom out.
1908
01:10:10,291 --> 01:10:11,291
How did you do it?
1909
01:10:11,292 --> 01:10:13,626
- You might say I
rearranged her front end.
1910
01:10:13,627 --> 01:10:14,752
- Set it out!
1911
01:10:14,753 --> 01:10:16,421
You know you're gonna be
king of the Player's Ball.
1912
01:10:16,422 --> 01:10:18,173
Ain't no doubt about it.
1913
01:10:18,174 --> 01:10:19,299
- Beautiful.
1914
01:10:19,300 --> 01:10:20,300
(laughs)
1915
01:10:20,301 --> 01:10:21,467
Terrific.
1916
01:10:21,468 --> 01:10:23,094
All right, what is the Player's Ball
1917
01:10:23,095 --> 01:10:24,137
they keep talking about?
1918
01:10:24,138 --> 01:10:26,139
- It's tomorrow night, honey,
that's okay I'll protect you.
1919
01:10:26,140 --> 01:10:27,682
- Tomorrow night I have
a prior engagement.
1920
01:10:27,683 --> 01:10:29,475
I can't go, I can't go.
1921
01:10:29,476 --> 01:10:31,102
Oh no, where is it?
1922
01:10:31,103 --> 01:10:33,062
- Somebody picks a place
and we all show up there.
1923
01:10:33,063 --> 01:10:33,897
- Right.
1924
01:10:33,898 --> 01:10:35,106
- It's a subcultural event, sweetheart,
1925
01:10:35,107 --> 01:10:36,774
it's our responsibility to be there.
1926
01:10:36,775 --> 01:10:37,901
- Oh, I can't be there, I can't.
1927
01:10:37,902 --> 01:10:38,776
I just can't, I can't...
1928
01:10:38,777 --> 01:10:40,486
(ladies exclaiming)
1929
01:10:40,487 --> 01:10:41,321
- Grab him!
1930
01:10:41,322 --> 01:10:42,197
- Cliff, what is...
1931
01:10:42,198 --> 01:10:44,324
- Open your eyes now.
1932
01:10:44,325 --> 01:10:45,950
- Give him air, give him air.
1933
01:10:45,951 --> 01:10:48,620
- Tomorrow night is the
college alumni dinner.
1934
01:10:48,621 --> 01:10:49,454
- Where?
1935
01:10:49,455 --> 01:10:51,289
- At the Excelsior Hotel
and I have to be there.
1936
01:10:51,290 --> 01:10:53,458
Now, I don't know where or
what your Player's Ball is,
1937
01:10:53,459 --> 01:10:56,252
but I simply cannot be
in two places at once.
1938
01:10:56,253 --> 01:10:57,086
- Yes, you can.
1939
01:10:57,087 --> 01:10:58,755
Yes, you can, we'll
take care of everything.
1940
01:10:58,756 --> 01:10:59,672
- [Monica] Right.
1941
01:10:59,673 --> 01:11:01,591
- Now, how are we gonna do that?
1942
01:11:01,592 --> 01:11:03,009
- Shh!
1943
01:11:03,010 --> 01:11:03,843
- [Karen] Loosen his built.
1944
01:11:03,844 --> 01:11:07,556
- Oh, Karen, get your
mind out of the gutter.
1945
01:11:10,601 --> 01:11:12,644
Oh, Jesus Christ, do you
think this is gonna work?
1946
01:11:12,645 --> 01:11:13,478
- Sure, it'll work.
1947
01:11:13,479 --> 01:11:14,938
Sure.
- Okay.
1948
01:11:14,939 --> 01:11:15,772
- [Man] Yeah, it's Eddie here.
1949
01:11:15,773 --> 01:11:16,731
Your dime, go ahead.
1950
01:11:16,732 --> 01:11:17,565
- Yo, Eddie.
1951
01:11:17,566 --> 01:11:18,399
- [Eddie] Yeah?
1952
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:19,234
- What's happening?
1953
01:11:19,235 --> 01:11:20,068
It's Diavolo.
1954
01:11:20,069 --> 01:11:20,902
- Oh, go ahead, Diavolo.
1955
01:11:20,903 --> 01:11:22,070
- Listen, Eddie, if the Doctor is king,
1956
01:11:22,071 --> 01:11:24,614
then he picks and chooses the
place he wants to be crowned.
1957
01:11:24,615 --> 01:11:25,531
- [Eddie] Well, it's gonna go down.
1958
01:11:25,532 --> 01:11:26,366
This is it, right?
1959
01:11:26,367 --> 01:11:27,200
- Uh-huh.
1960
01:11:27,201 --> 01:11:28,034
- [Eddie] Don't jive me, man.
1961
01:11:28,035 --> 01:11:29,577
- Well, listen, I'll tell
you where it's gonna be.
1962
01:11:29,578 --> 01:11:31,996
Uh, the Excelsior Hotel
1963
01:11:31,997 --> 01:11:32,956
- [Eddie] Excelsior Hotel.
1964
01:11:32,957 --> 01:11:33,831
- That's downtown.
1965
01:11:33,832 --> 01:11:34,666
- [Eddie] Is that right?
1966
01:11:34,667 --> 01:11:35,500
- I'm pretty sure you're familiar
1967
01:11:35,501 --> 01:11:36,334
with that area, brother.
1968
01:11:36,335 --> 01:11:37,835
- [Eddie] Well, I'll ask around, man.
1969
01:11:37,836 --> 01:11:38,670
- Yeah.
1970
01:11:38,671 --> 01:11:39,504
- [Eddie] Later on.
1971
01:11:39,505 --> 01:11:40,338
- The Doctor will be there.
1972
01:11:40,339 --> 01:11:41,172
- [Eddie] He better be.
1973
01:11:41,173 --> 01:11:42,799
- Later.
1974
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:43,633
- All right!
1975
01:11:43,634 --> 01:11:44,467
(cheering)
1976
01:11:44,468 --> 01:11:45,593
- The Doctor's A-Team.
1977
01:11:45,594 --> 01:11:46,761
- First class, top of the line.
1978
01:11:46,762 --> 01:11:48,304
Come on, let's get ready.
1979
01:11:48,305 --> 01:11:53,226
("Bustin' Loose" by Chuck
Brown and the Soul Searchers)
1980
01:11:53,227 --> 01:11:55,186
♪ I feel like bustin' loose ♪
1981
01:11:55,187 --> 01:11:57,480
♪ Bustin' loose now ♪
1982
01:11:57,481 --> 01:12:04,237
♪ Get get get get get get get on down ♪
1983
01:12:04,238 --> 01:12:07,949
- Oh, it looks like a fun crowd this year.
1984
01:12:07,950 --> 01:12:10,618
- [Man] You scratched
my car, motherfucker!
1985
01:12:10,619 --> 01:12:11,996
Insurance my ass!
1986
01:12:13,706 --> 01:12:15,582
- Psst, psst, Skridlow!
1987
01:12:18,752 --> 01:12:21,587
- What the hell is going on?
1988
01:12:21,588 --> 01:12:22,964
- Mother!
1989
01:12:22,965 --> 01:12:23,965
Let's...
1990
01:12:23,966 --> 01:12:24,758
Shall we?
1991
01:12:25,884 --> 01:12:29,470
- [Diavolo] Psst, psst, psst, Skridlow!
1992
01:12:29,471 --> 01:12:32,850
- Oh, there's Swami Diavolo, the caterer!
1993
01:12:34,476 --> 01:12:37,729
- Mother that's not him,
that's someone else entirely.
1994
01:12:37,730 --> 01:12:38,688
- I have never before...
1995
01:12:38,689 --> 01:12:40,398
They never have a mob here, I--
1996
01:12:40,399 --> 01:12:41,191
- Really?
1997
01:12:43,193 --> 01:12:46,905
- Well, when you've got
a woman mayor, you...
1998
01:12:56,623 --> 01:12:58,249
- [Crowd] Doctor ooh-ooh!
1999
01:12:58,250 --> 01:13:00,001
Doctor Detroit!
2000
01:13:00,002 --> 01:13:01,836
Doctor ooh-ooh!
2001
01:13:01,837 --> 01:13:03,796
Doctor Detroit!
2002
01:13:03,797 --> 01:13:05,590
Doctor ooh-ooh!
2003
01:13:05,591 --> 01:13:07,508
Doctor Detroit!
2004
01:13:07,509 --> 01:13:09,135
Doctor ooh-ooh!
2005
01:13:09,136 --> 01:13:10,636
- What's going on in here?
2006
01:13:10,637 --> 01:13:11,637
- [Crowd] Doctor Detroit!
2007
01:13:11,638 --> 01:13:13,056
Doctor ooh-ooh!
2008
01:13:13,057 --> 01:13:14,015
Doctor!
2009
01:13:14,016 --> 01:13:16,352
- Uh, nothing for us, Mother.
2010
01:13:17,478 --> 01:13:20,021
- What on earth is this?
2011
01:13:20,022 --> 01:13:21,315
What's going on?
2012
01:13:22,983 --> 01:13:23,776
Um, uh...
2013
01:13:24,693 --> 01:13:25,818
Uh, excuse me!
2014
01:13:25,819 --> 01:13:26,652
- Yo, Skridlow!
2015
01:13:26,653 --> 01:13:27,487
Hey, man, I gotta talk to you.
2016
01:13:27,488 --> 01:13:28,321
- Uh, excuse me!
2017
01:13:28,322 --> 01:13:29,155
- We gotta get--
2018
01:13:29,156 --> 01:13:29,989
- Uh, excuse me, uh...
2019
01:13:29,990 --> 01:13:31,574
Clifford, I see that your friend is here.
2020
01:13:31,575 --> 01:13:33,284
Does that mean that you'll
be leaving us again?
2021
01:13:33,285 --> 01:13:34,410
- No, absolutely not.
2022
01:13:34,411 --> 01:13:36,996
My duty is to my home,
my family, the college,
2023
01:13:36,997 --> 01:13:39,749
my job, and to you, sir.
2024
01:13:39,750 --> 01:13:41,084
- He is upsetting the guests.
2025
01:13:41,085 --> 01:13:42,710
Will you get him out of here?
2026
01:13:42,711 --> 01:13:43,795
- Sorry.
- Ah!
2027
01:13:43,796 --> 01:13:48,007
Sue and Lloyd Miller, can
you believe this noise?
2028
01:13:48,008 --> 01:13:48,841
You can't even think!
2029
01:13:48,842 --> 01:13:49,675
- Diavolo, you have to get out of here.
2030
01:13:49,676 --> 01:13:50,593
You're going to ruin everything.
2031
01:13:50,594 --> 01:13:52,053
- Cliff, I got to talk to you.
2032
01:13:52,054 --> 01:13:52,929
Hey, man, watch out, man.
2033
01:13:52,930 --> 01:13:53,763
You been drinkin'?
- All right, all right.
2034
01:13:53,764 --> 01:13:55,139
- Hey, man, listen.
2035
01:13:55,140 --> 01:13:56,891
You hear those people over there?
2036
01:13:56,892 --> 01:13:58,476
They wanna see the Doctor.
2037
01:13:58,477 --> 01:14:00,061
- (sighs) I can't do it.
2038
01:14:00,062 --> 01:14:01,312
I can't leave.
2039
01:14:01,313 --> 01:14:02,897
I've got to introduce Rousehorn.
2040
01:14:02,898 --> 01:14:04,065
He's going to give money to the college.
2041
01:14:04,066 --> 01:14:05,817
- Cliff, you've got to, man.
2042
01:14:05,818 --> 01:14:08,277
There are four beautiful
women depending on you.
2043
01:14:08,278 --> 01:14:10,363
The Doctor has got to be there.
2044
01:14:10,364 --> 01:14:12,031
- Look, there is no Doctor!
2045
01:14:12,032 --> 01:14:15,494
- There is if you believe in him, brother.
2046
01:14:18,122 --> 01:14:19,163
- All right.
2047
01:14:19,164 --> 01:14:20,665
Quick, before I change my mind.
2048
01:14:20,666 --> 01:14:24,252
- Straight through the
kitchen door, now hurry up.
2049
01:14:24,253 --> 01:14:25,086
Come on, man, put the hair on.
2050
01:14:25,087 --> 01:14:26,129
To the right, to the right.
2051
01:14:26,130 --> 01:14:28,256
- If my parents ever see
me they'll disown me.
2052
01:14:28,257 --> 01:14:29,799
- Check out the lining
in this jacket, man!
2053
01:14:29,800 --> 01:14:30,883
You might as well wear it inside out.
2054
01:14:30,884 --> 01:14:32,428
Do the pants match?
2055
01:14:33,846 --> 01:14:35,638
- No, they won't work,
the lining's purple!
2056
01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:36,597
- Looks just fine.
2057
01:14:36,598 --> 01:14:37,432
Come on.
2058
01:14:37,433 --> 01:14:38,767
Come on, move it!
2059
01:14:41,645 --> 01:14:42,478
Move it, man, come on!
2060
01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:43,312
- This is so insane.
2061
01:14:43,313 --> 01:14:46,899
I don't know how you made me do this.
2062
01:14:46,900 --> 01:14:48,443
- Those underwear look nice, man.
2063
01:14:48,444 --> 01:14:49,777
- How about these tuxedo pants?
2064
01:14:49,778 --> 01:14:50,987
They were Grandpa Skridlow's.
2065
01:14:50,988 --> 01:14:51,946
He had sensitive legs.
2066
01:14:51,947 --> 01:14:53,489
He had to have satin near
his skin at all times.
2067
01:14:53,490 --> 01:14:55,074
- Yeah, let's move, let's move.
2068
01:14:55,075 --> 01:14:56,868
Doing just fine.
2069
01:14:56,869 --> 01:14:58,453
- The glasses, the glasses, where--
2070
01:14:58,454 --> 01:14:59,287
- You got 'em.
2071
01:14:59,288 --> 01:15:00,121
You got 'em right here.
2072
01:15:00,122 --> 01:15:01,998
- [Cook] Hey, you boys get
out of the kitchen, huh?
2073
01:15:01,999 --> 01:15:03,624
- [Crowd] Doctor Detroit!
2074
01:15:03,625 --> 01:15:05,501
Doctor ooh-ooh!
2075
01:15:05,502 --> 01:15:07,336
Doctor Detroit!
2076
01:15:07,337 --> 01:15:09,255
Doctor ooh-ooh!
2077
01:15:09,256 --> 01:15:10,840
Doctor Detroit!
2078
01:15:10,841 --> 01:15:12,008
- Say, JB, the Doctor has arrived.
2079
01:15:12,009 --> 01:15:13,176
- [Crowd] Ooh-ooh!
2080
01:15:13,177 --> 01:15:14,594
Doctor Detroit!
2081
01:15:14,595 --> 01:15:17,388
(funk band starts playing)
2082
01:15:17,389 --> 01:15:19,015
- Ladies and gentlemen,
players and ladies,
2083
01:15:19,016 --> 01:15:20,308
high lifers and lowlifes,
2084
01:15:20,309 --> 01:15:21,809
all you trash with cash,
2085
01:15:21,810 --> 01:15:25,354
allow me to announce the Doctor is in!
2086
01:15:25,355 --> 01:15:28,066
(crowd cheering)
2087
01:15:32,070 --> 01:15:36,867
("Get Up Offa That Thing" by James Brown)
2088
01:15:46,168 --> 01:15:47,710
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2089
01:15:47,711 --> 01:15:49,504
♪ Dance till you feel better ♪
2090
01:15:49,505 --> 01:15:51,339
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2091
01:15:51,340 --> 01:15:53,132
♪ Try and release that pressure ♪
2092
01:15:53,133 --> 01:15:54,967
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2093
01:15:54,968 --> 01:15:56,385
♪ Dance till you feel better ♪
2094
01:15:56,386 --> 01:15:57,220
♪ Say it ♪
2095
01:15:57,221 --> 01:15:58,513
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2096
01:15:58,514 --> 01:16:00,097
♪ Try and release that pressure ♪
2097
01:16:00,098 --> 01:16:02,058
♪ Ooh get up offa that thing ♪
2098
01:16:02,059 --> 01:16:03,935
♪ Dance till you feel better ♪
2099
01:16:03,936 --> 01:16:05,603
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2100
01:16:05,604 --> 01:16:07,438
♪ Try to release that pressure ♪
2101
01:16:07,439 --> 01:16:09,148
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2102
01:16:09,149 --> 01:16:10,983
♪ Dance till you feel better ♪
2103
01:16:10,984 --> 01:16:12,777
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2104
01:16:12,778 --> 01:16:16,030
♪ Try to release that pressure ♪
2105
01:16:16,031 --> 01:16:17,532
♪ Dance ♪
2106
01:16:17,533 --> 01:16:19,784
♪ Doctor Detroit ♪
2107
01:16:19,785 --> 01:16:20,993
♪ Dance ♪
2108
01:16:20,994 --> 01:16:28,584
♪ Doctor Detroit ♪
2109
01:16:28,585 --> 01:16:33,549
♪ Hit me ♪
2110
01:16:33,966 --> 01:16:35,174
♪ Woo ♪
2111
01:16:35,175 --> 01:16:40,138
♪ Hit it now ♪
2112
01:16:42,099 --> 01:16:44,392
♪ Doing the Doctor Detroit ♪
2113
01:16:44,393 --> 01:16:46,018
♪ Good God ♪
2114
01:16:46,019 --> 01:16:53,484
♪ Doctor Detroit ♪
2115
01:16:53,485 --> 01:16:54,819
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2116
01:16:54,820 --> 01:16:56,571
♪ Dance till you feel better ♪
2117
01:16:56,572 --> 01:17:01,909
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2118
01:17:01,910 --> 01:17:03,744
♪ Dance till you feel better ♪
2119
01:17:03,745 --> 01:17:05,454
♪ Get up offa that thing ♪
2120
01:17:05,455 --> 01:17:09,334
♪ Try to release that pressure ♪
2121
01:17:21,847 --> 01:17:24,307
♪ Detroit ♪
2122
01:17:24,308 --> 01:17:29,812
♪ Doctor Detroit ♪
2123
01:17:29,813 --> 01:17:31,856
♪ Come on now ♪
2124
01:17:31,857 --> 01:17:34,526
♪ Doctor Detroit ♪
2125
01:17:35,569 --> 01:17:38,447
(crowd applauding)
2126
01:17:47,623 --> 01:17:48,831
- (raspy) Thank you.
2127
01:17:48,832 --> 01:17:51,417
I'm so, so very touched and pleased
2128
01:17:51,418 --> 01:17:53,377
to be honored in this way,
2129
01:17:53,378 --> 01:17:55,630
but unfortunately, I have business
2130
01:17:55,631 --> 01:17:56,756
in another part of the hotel,
2131
01:17:56,757 --> 01:17:58,716
a prior commitment, actually.
2132
01:17:58,717 --> 01:18:01,844
A small chiropractic service
I was supposed to perform.
2133
01:18:01,845 --> 01:18:03,888
(snaps)
2134
01:18:03,889 --> 01:18:05,014
But uh...
2135
01:18:05,015 --> 01:18:09,060
If anybody is a king here
tonight, it is this man,
2136
01:18:09,061 --> 01:18:09,977
Mr. Try Me,
2137
01:18:09,978 --> 01:18:10,895
Mr. Please Please Please,
2138
01:18:10,896 --> 01:18:12,647
Mr. This Is A Man's World.
2139
01:18:12,648 --> 01:18:14,774
I give you the hardest
working man in show business,
2140
01:18:14,775 --> 01:18:16,734
ladies and gentlemen, James Brown!
2141
01:18:16,735 --> 01:18:18,110
(crowd cheering)
2142
01:18:18,111 --> 01:18:19,821
Thank you, thank you.
2143
01:18:21,281 --> 01:18:22,907
Thank you, excuse me.
2144
01:18:22,908 --> 01:18:23,741
Excuse me.
2145
01:18:23,742 --> 01:18:25,452
Thank you, excuse me.
2146
01:18:30,666 --> 01:18:31,832
- [Crowd] Ooh-ooh!
2147
01:18:31,833 --> 01:18:33,709
Doctor Detroit!
2148
01:18:33,710 --> 01:18:36,672
(suspenseful music)
2149
01:18:42,969 --> 01:18:43,969
- Excuse me.
2150
01:18:43,970 --> 01:18:45,096
- What the...
2151
01:18:45,097 --> 01:18:45,930
What the heck's going on?
2152
01:18:45,931 --> 01:18:49,476
(kitchen staff chattering)
2153
01:18:52,270 --> 01:18:53,562
- Hi, Mom.
2154
01:18:53,563 --> 01:18:54,773
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
2155
01:18:56,983 --> 01:18:59,402
- I just saw someone we know.
2156
01:18:59,403 --> 01:19:00,195
Boys.
2157
01:19:14,251 --> 01:19:18,713
- (sighs) How are the hors d'oeuvres?
2158
01:19:18,714 --> 01:19:20,256
- Mezzo mezzo.
2159
01:19:20,257 --> 01:19:22,425
- I'm so glad you could join us, Cliff.
2160
01:19:22,426 --> 01:19:25,554
- Thanks, I'm so glad I could make it.
2161
01:19:27,305 --> 01:19:28,222
- Hey, Fruit Cup.
2162
01:19:28,223 --> 01:19:29,348
- Yes, I'll have one, thank you.
2163
01:19:29,349 --> 01:19:31,517
- No, I mean you, Fruit Cup.
2164
01:19:31,518 --> 01:19:34,062
Mom wants to see you right now.
2165
01:19:36,231 --> 01:19:37,064
(silverware clattering)
2166
01:19:37,065 --> 01:19:38,482
- Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
2167
01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:40,609
(clanking glasses)
2168
01:19:40,610 --> 01:19:43,154
Uh, please, your attention.
2169
01:19:43,155 --> 01:19:44,948
Your attention please.
2170
01:19:45,907 --> 01:19:50,745
Faculty and alumni of
Monroe College and guests,
2171
01:19:50,746 --> 01:19:53,998
tonight is a very special
night for the college.
2172
01:19:53,999 --> 01:19:56,041
- He's introducing him before the entree.
2173
01:19:56,042 --> 01:19:59,044
- And uh, to explain why, I'll introduce
2174
01:19:59,045 --> 01:20:01,046
our distinguished guest of honor,
2175
01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:04,383
himself an alumnus of
Monroe, a philanthropist,
2176
01:20:04,384 --> 01:20:05,217
Doctor of Humane Letters...
2177
01:20:05,218 --> 01:20:06,135
- Hi, there.
2178
01:20:06,136 --> 01:20:08,053
- And Chief Executive Officer and Chairman
2179
01:20:08,054 --> 01:20:10,264
of Rousehorn Consolidated Industries,
2180
01:20:10,265 --> 01:20:12,558
Mr. Harmon Rousehorn.
2181
01:20:12,559 --> 01:20:15,270
(crowd applauds)
2182
01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:18,731
- You introduced him before the entree.
2183
01:20:18,732 --> 01:20:19,565
- Excuse me, excuse me.
2184
01:20:19,566 --> 01:20:23,068
- And our friend, our colleague...
2185
01:20:23,069 --> 01:20:24,571
Look out, watch it!
2186
01:20:33,079 --> 01:20:36,041
(guests chattering)
2187
01:20:37,751 --> 01:20:40,128
(funk music)
2188
01:20:45,258 --> 01:20:46,467
- Hey, Doctor, what's happening, baby?
2189
01:20:46,468 --> 01:20:47,301
What's moving out there?
2190
01:20:47,302 --> 01:20:49,261
- Oh, sweetheart, I'm so proud of you!
2191
01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:51,680
- It is imperative that we leave
these premises immediately.
2192
01:20:51,681 --> 01:20:52,515
- Why?
2193
01:20:52,516 --> 01:20:53,849
- But the party's just getting started.
2194
01:20:53,850 --> 01:20:54,683
- Man, what's the matter?
2195
01:20:54,684 --> 01:20:55,768
Why do we have to leave, huh?
2196
01:20:55,769 --> 01:20:56,602
- [Man] Mom!
2197
01:20:56,603 --> 01:20:57,937
- [All] Mom?
2198
01:20:57,938 --> 01:20:58,771
- That's why.
2199
01:20:58,772 --> 01:20:59,605
- Mom?
2200
01:20:59,606 --> 01:21:00,481
- Well, who do you think?
2201
01:21:00,482 --> 01:21:02,983
No one starts this party without me.
2202
01:21:02,984 --> 01:21:04,527
Get the son of a bitch!
2203
01:21:04,528 --> 01:21:06,905
(exclaiming)
2204
01:21:18,917 --> 01:21:21,836
- Look out, Doctor on call!
2205
01:21:21,837 --> 01:21:23,546
Emergency house call!
2206
01:21:23,547 --> 01:21:24,421
Emergency!
2207
01:21:24,422 --> 01:21:25,840
Doctor on call!
2208
01:21:25,841 --> 01:21:28,676
(crashing)
2209
01:21:28,677 --> 01:21:29,553
- Look out!
2210
01:21:30,679 --> 01:21:32,389
Out of the way, move!
2211
01:21:35,350 --> 01:21:36,142
- Oh, oh!
2212
01:21:37,519 --> 01:21:40,229
- I'm gonna kick your ass!
2213
01:21:40,230 --> 01:21:41,063
(cookware clattering)
2214
01:21:41,064 --> 01:21:42,439
- I warn you, I'm a chiropractor!
2215
01:21:42,440 --> 01:21:44,859
I will use my skill negatively.
2216
01:21:44,860 --> 01:21:46,277
There are radioactive
isotopes in this bag,
2217
01:21:46,278 --> 01:21:47,111
stay away!
2218
01:21:47,112 --> 01:21:48,320
- You're dead!
2219
01:21:48,321 --> 01:21:49,446
- You're mine, Detroit!
2220
01:21:49,447 --> 01:21:51,240
You're mine!
2221
01:21:51,241 --> 01:21:53,117
(crowd exclaiming)
2222
01:21:53,118 --> 01:21:54,994
En garde, madame!
2223
01:21:54,995 --> 01:21:59,456
I have you now at a supreme
disadvantage (laughs)
2224
01:21:59,457 --> 01:22:01,251
- Like hell, you have!
2225
01:22:03,670 --> 01:22:05,254
- Hey, you're crazy!
2226
01:22:05,255 --> 01:22:06,422
- I'll stick him!
2227
01:22:06,423 --> 01:22:08,215
- Are you nuts?
2228
01:22:08,216 --> 01:22:11,927
- And now, in closing,
I'd like to present to you
2229
01:22:11,928 --> 01:22:15,973
on behalf of Rousehorn
Consolidated Industries,
2230
01:22:15,974 --> 01:22:18,434
this meager endowment.
2231
01:22:18,435 --> 01:22:21,729
(Mr. Skridlow crashes)
(crowd applauding)
2232
01:22:21,730 --> 01:22:23,689
- I'm so nervous!
2233
01:22:23,690 --> 01:22:25,816
Clifford should be here.
2234
01:22:25,817 --> 01:22:28,235
Well, uh, this is a uh...
2235
01:22:28,236 --> 01:22:29,987
This is a great, great day for--
2236
01:22:29,988 --> 01:22:34,950
(Cliff shouting)
(epees clacking)
2237
01:22:34,951 --> 01:22:36,578
- I defy you, woman!
2238
01:22:40,749 --> 01:22:43,627
(guests clamoring)
2239
01:22:44,920 --> 01:22:47,464
(Mom shouting)
2240
01:22:49,257 --> 01:22:50,050
Yeah!
2241
01:22:54,262 --> 01:22:58,224
- Excuse me, excuse me,
this is a private party!
2242
01:22:59,225 --> 01:23:00,059
Who...
2243
01:23:00,060 --> 01:23:01,770
Who are these people?
2244
01:23:03,271 --> 01:23:05,648
- 500 on the Doctor, huh?
2245
01:23:05,649 --> 01:23:07,900
(spoon tapping glass)
2246
01:23:07,901 --> 01:23:11,278
- Excuse me, excuse me,
this is a private party.
2247
01:23:11,279 --> 01:23:13,490
(clanging)
2248
01:23:19,663 --> 01:23:22,081
(crowd gasping)
2249
01:23:22,082 --> 01:23:23,290
- It's Clifford!
2250
01:23:23,291 --> 01:23:24,750
- Oh my God, no.
2251
01:23:24,751 --> 01:23:26,628
- Yes, Mother, it's me.
2252
01:23:29,547 --> 01:23:30,381
Aha!
2253
01:23:30,382 --> 01:23:31,174
Ha ha!
2254
01:23:43,228 --> 01:23:44,979
- Okay, finish me.
2255
01:23:44,980 --> 01:23:46,230
I'm not afraid to die, go ahead.
2256
01:23:46,231 --> 01:23:49,483
- And I am fortunate in battle
and merciful in victory.
2257
01:23:49,484 --> 01:23:51,902
Madame, I'll let the room decide.
2258
01:23:51,903 --> 01:23:54,363
My good people, what'll it be?
2259
01:23:54,364 --> 01:23:55,407
- [Crowd] No!
2260
01:23:57,575 --> 01:23:58,784
- So be it!
2261
01:23:58,785 --> 01:24:00,411
You're finished in this town, Mom.
2262
01:24:00,412 --> 01:24:03,205
Through, banished,
exiled in your community.
2263
01:24:03,206 --> 01:24:05,499
Ladies and gentlemen, the
Doctor is a compassionate man!
2264
01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:07,251
Throw this trash bag out
2265
01:24:07,252 --> 01:24:09,670
and never let her darken
Cook County again.
2266
01:24:09,671 --> 01:24:12,382
(crowd cheering)
2267
01:24:14,217 --> 01:24:15,843
- Shut up!
2268
01:24:15,844 --> 01:24:16,636
My arm!
2269
01:24:18,388 --> 01:24:19,930
You'll pay for this, do you hear me?
2270
01:24:19,931 --> 01:24:22,434
I'll be back!
2271
01:24:26,146 --> 01:24:27,646
- My good people, I pray,
2272
01:24:27,647 --> 01:24:30,942
a moment of your attention here, please!
2273
01:24:31,985 --> 01:24:33,778
- One million dollars!
2274
01:24:35,113 --> 01:24:36,613
And I thought you were cheap!
2275
01:24:36,614 --> 01:24:38,115
(crowd cheering)
I didn't mean...
2276
01:24:38,116 --> 01:24:40,200
- Clifford, you've made us so proud.
2277
01:24:40,201 --> 01:24:42,619
- I thank you, sir, and
the college thanks you
2278
01:24:42,620 --> 01:24:44,455
and my parents thank you.
2279
01:24:44,456 --> 01:24:48,417
(raspy) And the Doctor thanks you.
2280
01:24:48,418 --> 01:24:50,961
But the Doctor is no more.
2281
01:24:50,962 --> 01:24:51,837
(snaps)
2282
01:24:51,838 --> 01:24:55,466
He existed only to
banish an evil presence.
2283
01:24:55,467 --> 01:24:56,884
And let it be known to all here
2284
01:24:56,885 --> 01:24:59,219
that the damsels whom Mom
would have held captive
2285
01:24:59,220 --> 01:25:00,013
are free.
2286
01:25:01,097 --> 01:25:04,767
My ladies Karen, Thelma, Monica, Jasmine,
2287
01:25:04,768 --> 01:25:06,769
you are beholden to none.
2288
01:25:06,770 --> 01:25:09,521
And Diavolo, my trusted comrade,
2289
01:25:09,522 --> 01:25:11,899
perhaps we may ride again.
2290
01:25:11,900 --> 01:25:13,942
For whenever intimidation and injustice
2291
01:25:13,943 --> 01:25:16,862
vie with decency and honor,
let the Doctors arise,
2292
01:25:16,863 --> 01:25:18,405
and arise they must.
2293
01:25:18,406 --> 01:25:20,824
For within every one of
us, there is a Doctor,
2294
01:25:20,825 --> 01:25:23,327
a dormant Doctor, a supreme arbitrator,
2295
01:25:23,328 --> 01:25:24,828
who can be summoned to intervene
2296
01:25:24,829 --> 01:25:27,790
when crises threaten the
stabilities and well beings
2297
01:25:27,791 --> 01:25:29,500
of our heartlands.
2298
01:25:29,501 --> 01:25:32,419
(crowd cheering)
2299
01:25:32,420 --> 01:25:33,713
Now let's party!
2300
01:25:35,799 --> 01:25:38,176
(funk music)
2301
01:25:41,846 --> 01:25:44,681
- I have endowed a madman.
2302
01:25:44,682 --> 01:25:46,059
Why couldn't I...
2303
01:25:46,935 --> 01:25:49,144
Why couldn't I have gone to Yale?
2304
01:25:49,145 --> 01:25:51,146
Or Syracuse, even?
2305
01:25:51,147 --> 01:25:53,148
- Why don't you tell me about it?
2306
01:25:53,149 --> 01:25:55,192
What's wrong, huh?
2307
01:25:55,193 --> 01:25:59,363
("Get It On and Have a
Party" by Pattie Brooks)
2308
01:25:59,364 --> 01:26:04,327
♪ There's gonna be a big affair tonight ♪
2309
01:26:07,413 --> 01:26:12,335
♪ We made it through and
everything's all right ♪
2310
01:26:15,338 --> 01:26:20,260
♪ When times were rough
and everyone feels down ♪
2311
01:26:23,263 --> 01:26:28,226
♪ Don't you give up just
turn the thing around hey ♪
2312
01:26:30,520 --> 01:26:31,520
(James laughing)
2313
01:26:31,521 --> 01:26:35,315
♪ Just lay back and
set your mind at ease ♪
2314
01:26:35,316 --> 01:26:39,570
♪ Call your friends and
grab your old main squeeze ♪
2315
01:26:39,571 --> 01:26:43,490
♪ Get it on and have a party ♪
2316
01:26:43,491 --> 01:26:47,286
♪ Tonight yeah ♪
2317
01:26:47,287 --> 01:26:51,248
♪ Get it on and have a party ♪
2318
01:26:51,249 --> 01:26:52,374
♪ Tonight ♪
2319
01:26:52,375 --> 01:26:53,334
- Mazel tov!
2320
01:27:18,651 --> 01:27:20,736
♪ Don't lose your head ♪
2321
01:27:20,737 --> 01:27:25,658
♪ When everyone's uptight ♪
2322
01:27:26,701 --> 01:27:28,577
♪ If you stay cool ♪
2323
01:27:28,578 --> 01:27:33,541
♪ You'll always win the fight ♪
2324
01:27:34,626 --> 01:27:36,585
♪ Just when you think ♪
2325
01:27:36,586 --> 01:27:41,549
♪ There's nothing left to do no ♪
2326
01:27:42,592 --> 01:27:44,426
♪ You'll find the cure ♪
2327
01:27:44,427 --> 01:27:49,390
♪ Right there inside of you ♪
2328
01:27:50,808 --> 01:27:54,603
♪ Tonight's the night for
us to twist and shout ♪
2329
01:27:54,604 --> 01:27:58,941
♪ Let down your hair and
let it all hang out woo ♪
2330
01:27:58,942 --> 01:28:01,693
♪ Get it on and have a party ♪
2331
01:28:01,694 --> 01:28:06,573
♪ Hey tonight yeah ♪
2332
01:28:06,574 --> 01:28:10,577
♪ Get it on and have a party ♪
2333
01:28:10,578 --> 01:28:12,956
♪ Tonight mm ♪
2334
01:28:30,765 --> 01:28:35,728
♪ Get it on party yeah ♪
2335
01:28:38,523 --> 01:28:40,357
♪ Get it on ♪
2336
01:28:40,358 --> 01:28:43,987
♪ Have a party tonight yeah ♪
2337
01:29:02,547 --> 01:29:07,510
♪ Oh yeah get it on tonight ♪
2338
01:29:10,221 --> 01:29:12,264
♪ Get it on ♪
2339
01:29:12,265 --> 01:29:15,893
♪ Have a party tonight yeah ♪
2340
01:29:33,953 --> 01:29:37,748
♪ Tonight's the night for
us to twist and shout ♪
2341
01:29:37,749 --> 01:29:42,711
♪ Let down your hair and
let it all hang out woo ♪
2342
01:29:42,712 --> 01:29:45,922
♪ Hey yeah ♪
2343
01:29:45,923 --> 01:29:49,801
♪ Tonight ♪
2344
01:29:49,802 --> 01:29:53,805
♪ Get it on and have a party hey yeah ♪
2345
01:29:53,806 --> 01:29:55,933
♪ tonight ♪
156837
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