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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,589 --> 00:00:10,290 (Grunts) 2 00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:14,596 (Typing) 3 00:00:17,692 --> 00:00:21,474 - _ - I can't fall For this again 4 00:00:21,474 --> 00:00:26,340 I will try till the very end Holy days 5 00:00:26,340 --> 00:00:29,242 Holy nights You shook me once 6 00:00:29,242 --> 00:00:33,120 But you won't do it twice I should have known 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,215 You wouldn't stick 'Cause you're a habit 8 00:00:36,215 --> 00:00:40,131 That I just can't kick So when you're done 9 00:00:40,131 --> 00:00:45,578 Letting me down I won't be around, no 10 00:00:45,578 --> 00:00:49,021 I'm moving on I'm moving on 11 00:00:49,021 --> 00:00:52,621 I'm moving on I'm moving on 12 00:00:52,621 --> 00:00:56,053 I'm moving on, baby I'm moving on 13 00:00:56,053 --> 00:01:00,017 Got to keep moving On, on, on... 14 00:01:00,017 --> 00:01:04,559 - (Stomach rumbling) - (Panting) 15 00:01:04,559 --> 00:01:06,378 (Stomach rumbling loudly) 16 00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:15,311 - (Stomach continues rumbling) - I see you walking 17 00:01:15,311 --> 00:01:18,164 Down the street You're picking pockets 18 00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:22,366 Of the ones you meet You always say 19 00:01:22,366 --> 00:01:25,472 - You never told... - (Truck creaking rhythmically) 20 00:01:25,472 --> 00:01:32,188 (Panting) 21 00:01:32,188 --> 00:01:35,919 I don't think we should So when your weight 22 00:01:35,919 --> 00:01:41,729 Is bringing you down I won't be around, no 23 00:01:41,729 --> 00:01:45,068 I'm moving on I'm moving on 24 00:01:45,069 --> 00:01:48,753 I'm moving on I'm moving on 25 00:01:48,753 --> 00:01:52,015 I'm moving on, baby I'm moving on... 26 00:01:52,015 --> 00:01:54,428 - (Phone chimes) - Got to keep moving 27 00:01:54,428 --> 00:01:56,612 On, on, on. 28 00:01:56,612 --> 00:02:00,427 _ 29 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,480 _ 30 00:02:05,802 --> 00:02:07,472 _ 31 00:02:15,749 --> 00:02:21,180 I'm gonna leave you anyway I'm gonna leave you anyway 32 00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:23,609 Gonna leave you anyway. 33 00:02:23,609 --> 00:02:27,609 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 34 00:02:28,328 --> 00:02:33,828 35 00:02:33,828 --> 00:02:36,959 Lost and you won't let it up 36 00:02:36,959 --> 00:02:39,457 Feeling tired... 37 00:02:39,457 --> 00:02:40,672 38 00:02:40,672 --> 00:02:42,233 BECCA: Excuse me. 39 00:02:44,929 --> 00:02:46,630 What the hell is Jimmy doing here? 40 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,127 And I thought you promised you weren't gonna make your 41 00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:50,329 - disgusting punch. - VERNON: Babe, my boys expect 42 00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:51,935 - the trash juice. - BECCA: Your boys? 43 00:02:51,935 --> 00:02:53,240 VERNON: Yeah. You know I never get to see them. 44 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,633 Dave's got, like, a billion stupid kids, and Slider's a 45 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:58,480 - state senator now. It sucks. - BECCA: Fine, but why did you 46 00:02:58,480 --> 00:02:59,921 - invite Jimmy? - VERNON: Men stop making 47 00:02:59,921 --> 00:03:01,868 friends at 23. It's science. 48 00:03:01,868 --> 00:03:03,084 When was the last time I had any 49 00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:05,706 visitors to my man cave, except that zero Paul? 50 00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,142 LINDSAY: Hey! 51 00:03:07,142 --> 00:03:08,921 - BECCA: Did you bring the lemons? - LINDSAY: Ah... 52 00:03:08,921 --> 00:03:10,435 BECCA: I give people one job! 53 00:03:10,436 --> 00:03:12,246 VERNON: Hey, Linds, taste this. 54 00:03:12,246 --> 00:03:14,815 BECCA: No, thanks. I'm actually not drinking. 55 00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:16,061 - Psst. - BECCA: What? 56 00:03:16,061 --> 00:03:17,689 LINDSAY: Listen, I never told 57 00:03:17,689 --> 00:03:19,680 Paul about what I told you at yoga. 58 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,376 - BECCA: You promised! - LINDSAY: I'm snowballing here, sis. 59 00:03:22,377 --> 00:03:23,605 It's like that time you guys had 60 00:03:23,605 --> 00:03:25,073 that intervention for me right 61 00:03:25,073 --> 00:03:26,259 after semester at sea. 62 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:28,893 BECCA: You know what, Linds? Your cockaholism may be just 63 00:03:28,893 --> 00:03:31,127 about the least important thing in the world to me right now. 64 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,557 I need this party to go off without a hitch. 65 00:03:33,557 --> 00:03:38,492 - It's a big deal. - VERNON: You sure? 66 00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:42,350 - LINDSAY: Maybe just a sip. - VERNON: Just have a sip. 67 00:03:42,350 --> 00:03:46,821 - Here you go. - BECCA: Well... 68 00:03:46,821 --> 00:03:48,785 - I didn't know you'd be coming. - JIMMY: Can we do this later? 69 00:03:48,785 --> 00:03:50,691 - I have to find Gretchen. - BECCA: Oh, did that idiot 70 00:03:50,692 --> 00:03:53,916 invite her, too? I'm actually glad you're here. 71 00:03:53,916 --> 00:03:55,705 JIMMY: Why? You're gonna try and have sex with me again? 72 00:03:55,705 --> 00:03:57,791 BECCA: It was a momentary lapse of sanity. 73 00:03:57,791 --> 00:04:01,729 So, thank you for... going against your animal instincts 74 00:04:01,729 --> 00:04:03,269 - towards me. - JIMMY: My animal instinct is 75 00:04:03,269 --> 00:04:05,855 - to run into traffic. - BECCA: Oh, come on, Jimmy. 76 00:04:05,855 --> 00:04:08,991 We both know I could have flicked off one shoe... 77 00:04:08,991 --> 00:04:11,239 JIMMY: Your feet are awful, Bec. 78 00:04:11,239 --> 00:04:13,866 Shallow nail beds, pathetic arches. 79 00:04:13,866 --> 00:04:16,098 I only forced myself to occasionally finish on the 80 00:04:16,098 --> 00:04:19,493 abominable things so you wouldn't know how repulsive they 81 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,784 - really are. - BECCA: Well, at least my 82 00:04:21,784 --> 00:04:23,836 heart isn't repulsive, Jimmy! 83 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,391 - LINDSAY: Hey, you. - JIMMY: Hey. 84 00:04:45,391 --> 00:04:47,240 - Have-have you seen Gretchen? - LINDSAY: Remember when you 85 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,889 started dating my sister, she and I were still living 86 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,972 together, and I would listen through the wall and scrunch my 87 00:04:52,972 --> 00:04:55,629 - pillow into the perfect shape? - JIMMY: No! Stop. What?! 88 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,198 LINDSAY: I've had that pillow since I was 11. 89 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:01,537 His name is Brandon Pointycorners. 90 00:05:03,073 --> 00:05:06,401 JIMMY: Whoa! Oh! Whoa, whoa! Have you lost your mind?! 91 00:05:06,401 --> 00:05:08,710 LINDSAY: Come on. Just kiss me. 92 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:11,627 You and Gretchen broke up. It doesn't matter. 93 00:05:11,627 --> 00:05:15,408 - We're all gonna die. - (Jimmy gasps) 94 00:05:15,408 --> 00:05:19,135 Oh, no. Oh, no! 95 00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:20,972 Gretchen! 96 00:05:23,303 --> 00:05:25,573 - TOMMY: Dude. - EDGAR: Oh, hey, Jimmy. 97 00:05:25,573 --> 00:05:29,503 This is my new roommate Nigel. Nigel, this is my old roommate. 98 00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:31,247 JIMMY: Hi. Do we know each other? 99 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,222 TOMMY (British accent): I don't think so. 100 00:05:32,223 --> 00:05:35,116 - How is it, then, mate? - JIMMY: You just happened to 101 00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:38,950 - find another English roommate? - EDGAR: Yup. 102 00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:39,886 JIMMY: When did you come over? 103 00:05:39,886 --> 00:05:42,880 TOMMY: Uh, May 2008. I was at university there 104 00:05:42,881 --> 00:05:44,881 studying design, but it wasn't for me. 105 00:05:44,881 --> 00:05:47,731 - JIMMY: Dorm or apartment? - TOMMY: Oh, you mean flat. 106 00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:50,314 Dorm. Uh, Scotia Quay. 107 00:05:50,314 --> 00:05:55,999 - Why? Do you know it? - LINDSAY: Gretchen! 108 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:02,500 Gretchen. Ooh. Gretchen! 109 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:06,685 - Don't you walk away from me! - GRETCHEN: You were trying to 110 00:06:06,685 --> 00:06:10,328 kiss my boy... my ex-boyfriend! What is wrong with you? 111 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,760 - LINDSAY: I have a disease. - GRETCHEN: Your only disease 112 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,143 is that you don't love your husband. 113 00:06:14,143 --> 00:06:15,437 LINDSAY: I'm trying to be better. 114 00:06:15,437 --> 00:06:18,561 - GRETCHEN: By kissing Jimmy? You creep! - Hello, my honey 115 00:06:18,561 --> 00:06:21,690 - Hello, my ragtime gal... - LINDSAY: I lost my best friend. 116 00:06:21,690 --> 00:06:25,914 I'm losing my husband. I don't know what I want. 117 00:06:25,914 --> 00:06:27,513 - (Shouting): Shut up, fish! - And you'll be left be alone 118 00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,283 (Skipping): Be left alone Be left alone 119 00:06:29,283 --> 00:06:33,386 - Be... left... alone... - (Music stops) 120 00:06:33,386 --> 00:06:37,560 LINDSAY: You left me behind, Gretchen, at the rapper party, 121 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,821 in life. You always leave me behind. 122 00:06:39,821 --> 00:06:42,551 GRETCHEN: I had to figure out my own shit! 123 00:06:42,551 --> 00:06:45,320 And I can't do that with you sitting on my shoulder like some 124 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:50,289 stacked cartoon devil whispering, "Take dicks, do more 125 00:06:50,289 --> 00:06:52,432 coke, help me destroy my marriage." 126 00:06:52,432 --> 00:06:54,799 LINDSAY: That is really hurtful. 127 00:06:54,799 --> 00:06:57,406 - You think I'm the devil? - GRETCHEN: Jimmy was gonna 128 00:06:57,406 --> 00:06:59,056 - propose to me. - LINDSAY: What?! 129 00:06:59,056 --> 00:07:01,067 GRETCHEN: Yeah. I found the ring. 130 00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:03,549 That's why I stopped seeing him. It's why I've been acting so 131 00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:05,758 - weird. - LINDSAY: Oh, my God. 132 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,544 I can't believe it. What is wrong with him? 133 00:07:08,544 --> 00:07:12,210 GRETCHEN: I know! Hey. 134 00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:16,059 LINDSAY: Well, at least you tried with Jimmy. 135 00:07:16,059 --> 00:07:17,968 GRETCHEN: Did I really though? 136 00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:20,384 Part of me feels like I had one foot out the door the whole 137 00:07:20,384 --> 00:07:21,906 time. But, I mean, marriage? 138 00:07:21,906 --> 00:07:25,209 How ridiculous is that? It's so ordinary. 139 00:07:25,209 --> 00:07:27,962 LINDSAY: I know. What's wrong with us? 140 00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:32,237 Are we feminists? Is this feminism? 141 00:07:32,238 --> 00:07:34,280 GRETCHEN: We're just running away from stuff. 142 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,234 I don't think that's feminism. It's fear. 143 00:07:37,234 --> 00:07:39,285 LINDSAY: So what are you saying? 144 00:07:39,285 --> 00:07:43,284 That actually trying is the brave thing? 145 00:07:45,341 --> 00:07:50,854 GRETCHEN: Maybe. Maybe buying in is really the 146 00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:56,502 punk rock choice. Am I considering this? 147 00:07:56,502 --> 00:07:58,024 - Oh, my God. - LINDSAY: Uh-uh, bitch. 148 00:07:58,024 --> 00:08:00,925 Don't you leave me behind! You're not gonna be the only one 149 00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:04,315 trying things. I know. 150 00:08:04,315 --> 00:08:06,934 - I'll have a baby! - GRETCHEN: Ew! With Paul? 151 00:08:06,935 --> 00:08:12,488 LINDSAY: Yes! Gretch, we're going to buy in. 152 00:08:12,488 --> 00:08:14,048 GRETCHEN: I think we may be growing up. 153 00:08:14,048 --> 00:08:17,200 LINDSAY: I know. Isn't it awful? 154 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,703 GRETCHEN: If you ever try to kiss Jimmy again, I will punch 155 00:08:19,703 --> 00:08:21,254 - you in the clit. - LINDSAY: Deal. 156 00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,266 JIMMY: The Scotland situation, huh? 157 00:08:25,266 --> 00:08:27,203 TOMMY: Ugh. "Stay with us, Scotland. 158 00:08:27,203 --> 00:08:28,863 - You belong in the UK." - EDGAR: Mm-hmm. 159 00:08:28,864 --> 00:08:31,086 JIMMY: Coronation Street finally cancelled. 160 00:08:31,086 --> 00:08:33,048 TOMMY: Jimmy, if it had been, my mum would have rung me 161 00:08:33,048 --> 00:08:35,344 crying, so I think that you're wrong about that one. 162 00:08:35,344 --> 00:08:37,984 - (Laughter) - JIMMY: All right. 163 00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:44,657 - So where are you guys living? - EDGAR: Uh, we're over, uh... 164 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,445 - TOMMY: Uh, west, uh... No. - EDGAR: N-Nicaragua. 165 00:08:46,445 --> 00:08:48,600 TOMMY: Little. Little. Little. Little... 166 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,623 - EDGAR: L-Little... - BOTH: Little Nicaragua. 167 00:08:50,623 --> 00:08:53,717 JIMMY: I knew it! You rubbish liars. 168 00:08:53,717 --> 00:08:54,919 TOMMY (No accent): Sorry, Edgar. 169 00:08:54,919 --> 00:08:57,702 - I studied as hard as I could. - JIMMY: Talk. 170 00:08:57,702 --> 00:09:01,431 EDGAR: He's an actor I met a while back. 171 00:09:01,431 --> 00:09:03,359 - JIMMY: NCIS:L.A.? - TOMMY: Yes! 172 00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:07,716 (Laughs) Thank you! Thanks. I love my fans. 173 00:09:07,716 --> 00:09:10,969 - Well, uh, I'm gonna go mingle. - EDGAR: I'll-I'll come with 174 00:09:10,969 --> 00:09:12,831 - you. - TOMMY: Keep watching, dude. 175 00:09:12,831 --> 00:09:15,367 JIMMY: Oh, of course. (Chuckles) 176 00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:19,100 BECCA: Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. 177 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,985 No, no one can leave yet. No, actually, guys, you... 178 00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:24,165 VERNON: You want a juice? Do you want a trash juice? 179 00:09:24,165 --> 00:09:26,036 Trash juice. Are you ready for your trash 180 00:09:26,036 --> 00:09:27,120 juice? Here's the rest of the vodka. 181 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,772 I'm putting it in. Trash juice! Trash juice! 182 00:09:28,772 --> 00:09:30,761 Trash juice. I made so much trash juice. 183 00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:33,678 You guys should have some. Do I have to drink all this 184 00:09:33,678 --> 00:09:38,960 trash juice by myself?! Ah! 185 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,118 - Drink your juice, boys! - 186 00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:49,913 C'est si bon She love to get it on 187 00:09:49,913 --> 00:09:52,744 Every time I see her I cut like coupons 188 00:09:52,744 --> 00:09:55,914 Yeah, Kovas is the beast Do the rap in the track 189 00:09:55,914 --> 00:10:00,241 - Triple-double, no assists... - LINDSAY: There you are. 190 00:10:00,241 --> 00:10:04,820 Doing dishes at someone else's house. 191 00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:08,625 I saw this and thought of you, because you're so sweet. 192 00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:11,976 And because you love raisins. Even though they're disgusting 193 00:10:11,976 --> 00:10:16,038 failed grapes. 194 00:10:16,039 --> 00:10:19,268 - Sorry what I said about raisins. - PAUL: I saw you trying to 195 00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:23,437 - kiss Jimmy. - LINDSAY: What? What?! 196 00:10:23,437 --> 00:10:25,197 - What are... what are you... - PAUL: I'm not stupid. 197 00:10:25,197 --> 00:10:28,374 - I saw you. - LINDSAY: Come on. 198 00:10:28,374 --> 00:10:31,994 - You're my Paullywog. - PAUL: Stop it. 199 00:10:31,994 --> 00:10:34,370 You respect me so little that you... 200 00:10:34,370 --> 00:10:37,709 LINDSAY: Honey. Okay, honey, I know. 201 00:10:37,709 --> 00:10:40,674 - I'm sorry, but that was before. - PAUL: That was half an hour 202 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:43,782 - ago. - LINDSAY: Right, before now. 203 00:10:43,782 --> 00:10:48,471 - I... - (Paul sighs) 204 00:10:48,471 --> 00:10:52,206 - I'm so messed up. - PAUL: You don't need a 205 00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:55,144 telescope to see that. 206 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,843 (Quiet chatter) 207 00:11:11,177 --> 00:11:14,261 JIMMY: There you are. Hey. Right, listen... 208 00:11:14,261 --> 00:11:17,066 GRETCHEN: You listen. I know that I have issues, but 209 00:11:17,066 --> 00:11:19,183 - it is not up to you to fix them. - JIMMY: You're right. 210 00:11:19,183 --> 00:11:22,192 Okay, look, I massively overstepped with your parents, 211 00:11:22,192 --> 00:11:25,073 and nothing like that will ever happen again. 212 00:11:25,073 --> 00:11:26,591 - GRETCHEN: Okay. - JIMMY: Okay? 213 00:11:26,591 --> 00:11:29,455 GRETCHEN: I did not expect you to apologize so quickly. 214 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:35,392 Look, I appreciate that we have a strong connection, but right 215 00:11:35,392 --> 00:11:39,247 now, that? That's crazytown. (Chuckles) 216 00:11:39,247 --> 00:11:43,844 Have I thought about it? Maybe in some abstract way way 217 00:11:43,844 --> 00:11:50,060 down the line, but clearly now would be bonkers. 218 00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:54,398 But... then I started thinking about 219 00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:59,404 it, and maybe we're like two pit bulls, you know? 220 00:11:59,404 --> 00:12:03,015 You put either with another dog, and that dog's toast. 221 00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:05,650 But, together, they're couch buds. 222 00:12:05,650 --> 00:12:09,538 They nullify the threat through mutually assured destruction. 223 00:12:09,538 --> 00:12:15,330 So, uh... I don't know. I mean, it's bananas, Jimmy. 224 00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:21,070 But, um... What I mean is, uh... 225 00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:25,426 Whew! I mean, the punk rock choice, 226 00:12:25,426 --> 00:12:29,659 Jimmy, is yes. So screw it. Why not? 227 00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:34,860 Yes, Jimmy. Yes. 228 00:12:37,145 --> 00:12:38,554 JIMMY: What are you talking about? 229 00:12:38,554 --> 00:12:41,280 GRETCHEN: I found the engagement ring in your drawer. 230 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:44,094 - That is why I freaked out. - JIMMY: Oh... 231 00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:47,348 GRETCHEN: But then I started thinking about it, and-and the 232 00:12:47,348 --> 00:12:53,159 thing about pit bulls, how... Oh, God. 233 00:12:53,159 --> 00:12:55,437 JIMMY: Th-The ring was for Becca. 234 00:12:55,437 --> 00:12:57,781 Almost three years ago. I was... I was just too 235 00:12:57,782 --> 00:13:01,090 embarrassed to return it. D-Did you... 236 00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:02,648 Oh, Gretchen, don't be embarrassed. 237 00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:05,146 GRETCHEN: I shit myself earlier, and that is only the 238 00:13:05,147 --> 00:13:07,766 second most embarrassing thing that has happened to me today. 239 00:13:07,766 --> 00:13:08,922 JIMMY: Oh... 240 00:13:13,024 --> 00:13:14,493 LINDSAY: (Gasps) Are you leaving? 241 00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:15,933 GRETCHEN: Yes, I cannot stay here anymore. 242 00:13:15,933 --> 00:13:17,447 LINDSAY: You can't leave me again. 243 00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:20,095 I'm seriously gonna lose it. Gretchen, you have to stay. 244 00:13:20,095 --> 00:13:23,333 Or... I'm gonna suck that guy's dick. 245 00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:26,642 And that guy's dick. And definitely that guy's dick. 246 00:13:26,642 --> 00:13:29,737 GRETCHEN: Okay, okay. I'll stay. I'll stay. 247 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,731 Why do you smell like shrimp? 248 00:13:35,693 --> 00:13:39,220 BECCA: Hello. Hello. (Chuckles) 249 00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:44,844 Hello? Quiet. Shut that goddamn music off. 250 00:13:44,844 --> 00:13:48,158 - (Music stops) - Okay, well, whew, first of all, 251 00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:53,946 how hashtag blessed are we to have you, our dearest friends, 252 00:13:53,946 --> 00:13:57,226 gathered with us tonight? As a society, we go through 253 00:13:57,226 --> 00:14:00,724 nothing alone. We are a family. 254 00:14:00,724 --> 00:14:05,643 A family of friends, coworkers, neighbors we don't know very 255 00:14:05,643 --> 00:14:06,780 - well... - JIMMY: Listen, I had a 256 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,649 momentary lapse of sanity with Becca. 257 00:14:08,649 --> 00:14:11,033 GRETCHEN: The worst thing is this means you wanted to marry 258 00:14:11,033 --> 00:14:13,066 Becca, but you can't even let me spend the night without it 259 00:14:13,066 --> 00:14:15,133 becoming a goddamn traumatic event. 260 00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:17,064 BECCA: Shh! 261 00:14:19,639 --> 00:14:23,155 29 years ago, a baby girl was born. 262 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:26,020 - VERNON: 29? - BECCA: And all she wanted, 263 00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:30,077 ever since she was pretending to breast-feed her Baby All Gone, 264 00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:33,869 was to have her own baby. There is a quote from one of my 265 00:14:33,869 --> 00:14:37,636 favorite books, The Little Prince by Antoine de... 266 00:14:37,636 --> 00:14:39,518 VERNON: I pregged her up, you guys! 267 00:14:39,518 --> 00:14:41,212 BECCA: I'm pregnant! I'm having a baby! 268 00:14:41,212 --> 00:14:45,505 - (Crowd cheering) - (Laughs) 269 00:14:45,505 --> 00:14:48,711 - Thank you. - LINDSAY: Hello, everybody! 270 00:14:48,711 --> 00:14:53,875 (Laughs) Um, we're having a baby, too! 271 00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:57,643 - (Scattered applause) - Well, not yet, but we're gonna 272 00:14:57,643 --> 00:15:01,286 start trying to have one. Yay! 273 00:15:01,286 --> 00:15:02,952 BECCA: What is wrong with you? 274 00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:04,700 How dare you try to ruin my moment. 275 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,776 LINDSAY: It's always your moment! 276 00:15:06,776 --> 00:15:08,647 - When's my moment? - BECCA: You had your moment 277 00:15:08,647 --> 00:15:11,861 when you got married before your older sister, which is an 278 00:15:11,861 --> 00:15:14,314 aggressive and hateful act in any culture! 279 00:15:14,315 --> 00:15:16,004 LINDSAY: This isn't about you. 280 00:15:16,004 --> 00:15:18,424 This is about me and Paul and-and our... 281 00:15:18,424 --> 00:15:23,789 PAUL: Stop it! I'm not having a baby with you. 282 00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,830 - LINDSAY: Paul? - PAUL: Because I'm having a 283 00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:28,618 - baby with someone else. - (Crowd gasping) 284 00:15:29,424 --> 00:15:33,017 At some point. In the future. 285 00:15:33,017 --> 00:15:36,639 Because I'm involved with someone else. 286 00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:38,439 - (Crowd gasping) - Though, to be fair, it's purely 287 00:15:38,439 --> 00:15:42,783 emotional at this point. I'm having an emotional affair. 288 00:15:42,783 --> 00:15:44,895 LINDSAY: What are you talking about? 289 00:15:44,895 --> 00:15:48,417 PAUL: Her name is Amy. We met on a homebrew chat room. 290 00:15:48,417 --> 00:15:51,933 VERNON: (Laughs) What a loser. 291 00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:55,248 PAUL: Amy... She's excited about me. 292 00:15:55,248 --> 00:15:58,642 - She's... nice to me. - LINDSAY: Bear. 293 00:15:58,642 --> 00:16:01,423 PAUL: Lindsay, I want to begin the process of conscious 294 00:16:01,424 --> 00:16:02,801 - uncoupling with you. - LINDSAY: No. 295 00:16:02,801 --> 00:16:08,150 PAUL: Yes, Lindsay. I want a divorce. 296 00:16:11,026 --> 00:16:16,437 BECCA: Oh. Well. Ooh. (Groans) 297 00:16:16,437 --> 00:16:21,999 Mom is gonna be so disappointed. Guess you better give us the 298 00:16:21,999 --> 00:16:23,764 - good china. - LINDSAY: Like your marriage 299 00:16:23,764 --> 00:16:26,214 is so perfect. You nearly banged Jimmy last 300 00:16:26,214 --> 00:16:28,064 - week. - GRETCHEN: What?! 301 00:16:28,065 --> 00:16:31,965 JIMMY: Okay, just to clarify, she tried to bang me. 302 00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:34,966 I turned her down. Marvelously satisfying, really. 303 00:16:34,966 --> 00:16:36,781 LINDSAY: You tried to sleep with him? 304 00:16:36,781 --> 00:16:39,051 I thought he tried to kiss you at your house. 305 00:16:39,051 --> 00:16:42,698 JIMMY: (Clears throat) Okay, that happened also. 306 00:16:42,698 --> 00:16:44,626 But it was... it was part of this thing where we were 307 00:16:44,626 --> 00:16:47,618 - competing to bang our exes. - BECCA: What is wrong with you 308 00:16:47,618 --> 00:16:49,286 - two?! - VERNON: You tried to bang my 309 00:16:49,286 --> 00:16:52,528 - wife? - JIMMY: She tried to sleep 310 00:16:52,528 --> 00:16:54,040 - with me. - VERNON: I let you be my 311 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,156 forever-friend. I was gonna invite you into the 312 00:16:56,156 --> 00:16:57,722 - man cave. - JIMMY: I barely even know 313 00:16:57,722 --> 00:16:58,858 - you! - VERNON: Well, now you're 314 00:16:58,858 --> 00:17:02,479 gonna know... my fists and feet and stuff! 315 00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:06,436 - JIMMY: Oh, shit. - (Grunting) 316 00:17:06,436 --> 00:17:08,511 VERNON: You British prick! 317 00:17:10,974 --> 00:17:12,884 BECCA: Vernon, get him! 318 00:17:15,665 --> 00:17:17,613 - EDGAR: Go to sleep, Vernon. - BECCA: Edgar, stop it! 319 00:17:17,613 --> 00:17:23,653 - EDGAR: Go... to... sleep. - VERNON: But I'm not sleepy. 320 00:17:26,377 --> 00:17:28,356 BECCA: Oh, God. Get away from him. 321 00:17:29,062 --> 00:17:32,753 - Vernon. Vernon. - GUEST: Okay, bye, Becca. 322 00:17:32,753 --> 00:17:35,156 - Congratulations. - BECCA: Wouldn't it... 323 00:17:35,156 --> 00:17:37,717 No, no, no. No, you c... you can't go. 324 00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:40,269 Hey, no, no. Where are you going? 325 00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:43,133 Hey, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. 326 00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:46,483 You... This is my night! 327 00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:49,675 JIMMY: Has anyone seen Gretchen? 328 00:17:49,675 --> 00:17:52,328 BRIANNA: Oh, sorry, Jimmy, but I think she left. 329 00:17:53,342 --> 00:17:56,482 - (Jimmy sighs) - TOMMY: Hey, Jimmy. 330 00:17:56,482 --> 00:17:59,509 - You want in on this? - JIMMY: Uh, no, but have fun. 331 00:17:59,509 --> 00:18:03,953 Listen. I will kill you if you tell him 332 00:18:03,953 --> 00:18:07,523 I said so, but Edgar is one of the few genuinely decent people 333 00:18:07,523 --> 00:18:09,512 on this planet. You're lucky to be his friend. 334 00:18:09,512 --> 00:18:10,538 TOMMY: Oh, I'm not his friend. 335 00:18:10,538 --> 00:18:14,079 - He cleans toilets at my gym. - JIMMY: Edgar got a job? 336 00:18:14,079 --> 00:18:16,307 TOMMY: I felt really bad about lying to him when we first 337 00:18:16,307 --> 00:18:18,119 met, so I agreed to help him out today. 338 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,216 (Scottish accent): Plus, I'm great at accent work. 339 00:18:20,216 --> 00:18:23,446 - JIMMY: Are you? - TOMMY: Anyway, like I could 340 00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:26,192 really be friends with someone who lives in their car. 341 00:18:35,604 --> 00:18:38,423 - JIMMY: Hey. - EDGAR: Hey. 342 00:18:40,523 --> 00:18:42,691 Uh, so, uh, uh, h-how have you been? 343 00:18:42,691 --> 00:18:45,537 JIMMY: Not well. I haven't been feeding myself 344 00:18:45,537 --> 00:18:46,776 - properly. - EDGAR: I told you before I 345 00:18:46,776 --> 00:18:49,222 left, the menus are in a blue binder in the bottom drawer. 346 00:18:49,222 --> 00:18:52,956 JIMMY: Listen, maybe... Could you move back in? 347 00:18:52,956 --> 00:18:56,074 I... You'd be doing me a favor. 348 00:18:56,074 --> 00:18:57,389 EDGAR: I have a job now, Jimmy. 349 00:18:57,389 --> 00:18:59,788 I'm making great progress. I can't go backwards. 350 00:18:59,788 --> 00:19:04,270 If I move back in, I'm paying rent, and I'm not cooking for 351 00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:05,816 - you anymore. - JIMMY: Market value for your 352 00:19:05,816 --> 00:19:07,761 - bedroom is $1,200 a month. - EDGAR: I will do some light 353 00:19:07,761 --> 00:19:09,529 - housework. - JIMMY: Thanks. 354 00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:11,692 - EDGAR: Oh, hey, uh... - JIMMY: Hey, coming up. 355 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,407 EDGAR: Oh. 356 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,846 (Knocking) 357 00:19:35,623 --> 00:19:37,332 GRETCHEN: Why can't you just let this be over? 358 00:19:37,332 --> 00:19:40,254 JIMMY: Because I can't. Look, I don't know why I 359 00:19:40,254 --> 00:19:43,066 proposed to Becca. It is a giant mystery, fueled 360 00:19:43,066 --> 00:19:46,948 mostly by my desire to make up for my wretched family and the 361 00:19:46,948 --> 00:19:48,777 fact that she gives spectacular blow jobs. 362 00:19:48,777 --> 00:19:50,490 - GRETCHEN: Really? - JIMMY: Yeah, I do not know 363 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,451 what's going on with that mouth. She's like a human Brookstone 364 00:19:53,451 --> 00:19:55,582 - massage chair. - GRETCHEN: I am completely 365 00:19:55,582 --> 00:19:58,058 - stunned by this information. - JIMMY: Maybe the sour face 366 00:19:58,058 --> 00:20:01,731 creates extra suction. Look, Becca was a choice. 367 00:20:01,731 --> 00:20:07,339 A dumb choice, but a choice. You and I... we're inevitable. 368 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,672 GRETCHEN: Words, man. You got a lot of pretty words, 369 00:20:09,672 --> 00:20:10,672 - but that doesn't mean... - JIMMY: Shut up. 370 00:20:10,672 --> 00:20:13,888 I'm not done. Let's be those pit bulls. 371 00:20:13,888 --> 00:20:19,217 I want to be your couch bud. Move in with me. 372 00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:22,224 - (Gretchen groans) - (Key clinks on floor) 373 00:20:22,224 --> 00:20:23,655 JIMMY: Sorry. Why'd you do that? 374 00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:26,442 GRETCHEN: I just humiliated myself by accepting your 375 00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:29,307 non-marriage proposal. I cannot now move in with you. 376 00:20:29,307 --> 00:20:31,456 JIMMY: Yeah, but I'm... I'm actually asking you this time. 377 00:20:31,456 --> 00:20:34,302 GRETCHEN: Bullshit. You're just doing this as a Hail 378 00:20:34,302 --> 00:20:36,704 Mary because you know you're about to lose me for good. 379 00:20:36,704 --> 00:20:38,394 JIMMY: No, no, no! I was... I was going to ask you at the 380 00:20:38,394 --> 00:20:40,478 party. I had the key made yesterday. 381 00:20:40,478 --> 00:20:45,900 Look, my entire life, I've been obsessed with trying to live the 382 00:20:45,901 --> 00:20:50,338 life of a writer... just full of loneliness and suffering. 383 00:20:50,338 --> 00:20:56,997 But over the last two weeks, what I have finally realized is 384 00:20:56,997 --> 00:21:02,488 that the worst possible draft of my life is the one without you 385 00:21:02,488 --> 00:21:07,447 in it. I hate it, Gretchen Cutler, but 386 00:21:07,447 --> 00:21:10,062 you goddamn floor me. 387 00:21:22,260 --> 00:21:23,608 GRETCHEN: No. 388 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,737 Not yet. 389 00:21:31,818 --> 00:21:33,211 JIMMY: Okay. 390 00:21:35,570 --> 00:21:39,265 - Okay. - (Gretchen sighs) 391 00:21:40,996 --> 00:21:44,937 GRETCHEN: Oh, shit. We're gonna do this. 392 00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:47,011 JIMMY: Yeah. Shit. 393 00:21:47,011 --> 00:21:49,365 GRETCHEN: We're gonna do this, even though we know there 394 00:21:49,365 --> 00:21:53,497 is only one way this ends. Whether in a week or 20 years. 395 00:21:53,497 --> 00:21:56,657 There is horrible sadness and pain coming, and we're inviting 396 00:21:56,657 --> 00:21:59,577 - it. - JIMMY: God, I love the way 397 00:21:59,577 --> 00:22:01,122 you think. 398 00:22:06,184 --> 00:22:19,017 - (Fire crackling) - (Smoke alarm beeping) 399 00:22:19,664 --> 00:22:26,783 - - LINDSAY: Oh, oh-ooh 400 00:22:26,783 --> 00:22:29,008 Ooh 401 00:22:31,335 --> 00:22:39,452 Pray God you can cope I stand outside 402 00:22:39,452 --> 00:22:43,769 This woman's work This woman's world 403 00:22:43,769 --> 00:22:51,884 Ooh, it's hard on the man Now his part is over 404 00:22:51,884 --> 00:23:00,619 Now starts the craft Of the father 405 00:23:00,619 --> 00:23:05,368 I know you have a little life In you yet 406 00:23:05,368 --> 00:23:08,941 I know you have a lot Of strength left 407 00:23:08,941 --> 00:23:13,099 I know you have a little life In you yet 408 00:23:13,099 --> 00:23:16,654 I know you have a lot Of strength left 409 00:23:16,654 --> 00:23:20,588 I should be crying But I just can't let it show 410 00:23:20,588 --> 00:23:24,386 I should be hoping But I can't stop thinking 411 00:23:24,386 --> 00:23:26,625 Of all the things I should have said 412 00:23:26,625 --> 00:23:29,330 That I never said All the things 413 00:23:29,330 --> 00:23:32,191 I should have done That we never did 414 00:23:32,191 --> 00:23:34,118 All the things I should have given 415 00:23:34,118 --> 00:23:34,918 - But I didn't... - BECCA: We're gonna have a 416 00:23:34,918 --> 00:23:39,906 - baby. - (Vernon snorts, snores) 417 00:23:39,906 --> 00:23:43,462 - (Sirens wailing) - GRETCHEN: Still got that key? 418 00:23:46,812 --> 00:23:50,794 LINDSAY: I should be crying But I just can't let it show 419 00:23:50,794 --> 00:23:54,691 I should be hoping But I can't stop thinking 420 00:23:54,691 --> 00:23:56,805 Of all the things I should have said 421 00:23:56,805 --> 00:23:59,437 That I never said All the things 422 00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:02,430 I should have done That we never did 423 00:24:02,430 --> 00:24:04,200 All the things I should have given 424 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:08,216 But I didn't Oh, darling 425 00:24:08,216 --> 00:24:15,535 Make it go Make it go away... 426 00:24:18,905 --> 00:24:23,819 - (Cat meows) - MANAGER: Oh, my God. 427 00:24:23,819 --> 00:24:27,212 Come on. Who's that? 428 00:24:27,212 --> 00:24:29,522 Oh, my God. Oh! I'm gonna get you... 429 00:24:30,913 --> 00:24:33,090 - EDGAR: Roomie. - GRETCHEN: Roomie. 430 00:24:33,090 --> 00:24:35,816 LINDSAY: Mm, thanks. (Chuckles) 431 00:24:37,603 --> 00:24:41,085 - (Edgar sniffs) - KILLIAN: Hi. 432 00:24:41,085 --> 00:24:44,409 JIMMY: Quick. I need that copy of my house key that I gave 433 00:24:44,409 --> 00:24:45,449 - you. Got it? - KILLIAN: I thought you needed 434 00:24:45,449 --> 00:24:46,660 me to water your plants next week. 435 00:24:46,660 --> 00:24:47,453 JIMMY: I'll get you another key. 436 00:24:47,453 --> 00:24:49,661 - KILLIAN: Where's your key? - JIMMY: Hurry. Just grab a 437 00:24:49,661 --> 00:24:51,679 box. Nice. Thanks. 438 00:24:54,739 --> 00:24:56,546 - What's that? - GRETCHEN: Food processor. 439 00:24:56,546 --> 00:24:58,172 - JIMMY: Ah. - GRETCHEN: You having second 440 00:24:58,172 --> 00:25:01,180 - thoughts about me moving in? - JIMMY: No, no. Of course not. 441 00:25:01,180 --> 00:25:02,964 - You? - GRETCHEN: No. 442 00:25:02,964 --> 00:25:04,783 JIMMY: Good. 443 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:39,680 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 444 00:25:39,730 --> 00:25:44,280 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36251

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