Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,417
(woman)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
2
00:00:03,419 --> 00:00:05,453
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
3
00:00:05,455 --> 00:00:09,840
Yeah, yeah, yeah, la, la
4
00:00:09,842 --> 00:00:11,959
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
5
00:00:11,961 --> 00:00:14,462
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
6
00:00:14,464 --> 00:00:16,047
Looks like my secret breakfast spot
7
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,465
isn't so secret anymore.
8
00:00:17,467 --> 00:00:19,697
- Oh, my God. Hi.
- Hi.
9
00:00:19,722 --> 00:00:21,973
Yeah, I would've never
even known about this place,
10
00:00:21,998 --> 00:00:23,531
except I got off at the wrong stop
11
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:25,889
one day on my way to work and...
12
00:00:25,914 --> 00:00:27,796
Tolstoy before 9:00 a.m.
13
00:00:27,821 --> 00:00:29,738
Hasn't anyone told you about
the New York Post?
14
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:30,799
Yeah, uh... (scoffs)
15
00:00:30,824 --> 00:00:32,991
Nah, I skip all the boring parts
16
00:00:33,016 --> 00:00:34,315
about collective farming
17
00:00:34,340 --> 00:00:35,793
and go straight to the soap opera
18
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,072
of Anna having the affair.
19
00:00:37,097 --> 00:00:39,514
It's like Real Housewivesof St. Petersburg...
20
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,623
with dense Russian prose.
21
00:00:42,648 --> 00:00:44,198
You know, you should take a crack
22
00:00:44,223 --> 00:00:45,555
at the slush pile sometime.
23
00:00:45,580 --> 00:00:46,863
The slush pile?
24
00:00:46,888 --> 00:00:49,722
Not Tolstoy, but you never know.
25
00:00:49,827 --> 00:00:54,072
And if you tell anyone
about the French toast here,
26
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,272
I'm gonna have to kill you.
27
00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:56,546
Don't worry. I'm...
28
00:00:56,571 --> 00:00:58,655
I'm really good at keeping a secret.
29
00:01:09,739 --> 00:01:11,105
Hey.
30
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,346
Morning.
31
00:01:12,371 --> 00:01:13,987
Where's the slush pile?
32
00:01:14,012 --> 00:01:17,764
Uh, it's that sad, little
stack of books behind me.
33
00:01:17,789 --> 00:01:20,454
That's the slush pile.
34
00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:23,154
Cash Money Bitch:
Finances Be Trippin'.
35
00:01:23,179 --> 00:01:24,353
[snorts]
36
00:01:24,378 --> 00:01:26,221
Wow, this is all in caps.
37
00:01:26,246 --> 00:01:27,495
"Girl, do you want to get paid
38
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,138
like a basic bitch or a billionaire bitch?"
39
00:01:30,163 --> 00:01:32,463
Oh, my God. This is awful.
40
00:01:32,488 --> 00:01:33,739
They all are.
41
00:01:33,764 --> 00:01:35,547
Every one is worse than the last.
42
00:01:35,572 --> 00:01:37,908
All you have to do is read the first line.
43
00:01:37,933 --> 00:01:38,907
[giggles]
44
00:01:40,039 --> 00:01:42,539
"It turned out Larry's spirit animal was...
45
00:01:42,564 --> 00:01:43,706
the hedgehog."
46
00:01:43,731 --> 00:01:44,780
[laughs]
47
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,467
"As time went by, I came to realize
48
00:01:46,492 --> 00:01:48,792
Trevor was definitely incontinent."
49
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,016
Oh.
50
00:01:50,041 --> 00:01:51,018
(both) Ew.
51
00:01:51,043 --> 00:01:52,213
[both laughing]
52
00:01:52,238 --> 00:01:53,815
Okay, and for the win,
53
00:01:53,839 --> 00:01:55,472
by Meredith Montgomery,
54
00:01:55,497 --> 00:01:56,914
The Scarf.
55
00:01:59,055 --> 00:02:00,221
"The severity often differs,
56
00:02:00,246 --> 00:02:02,213
"even the location of the wound.
57
00:02:02,238 --> 00:02:04,096
"But what's never changed is the fact
58
00:02:04,121 --> 00:02:05,549
"that he was a Confederate soldier
59
00:02:05,574 --> 00:02:06,990
"and my grandfather.
60
00:02:07,015 --> 00:02:10,400
The boy who saved his
life was a Union bugler."
61
00:02:10,425 --> 00:02:11,849
[laughs]
62
00:02:11,907 --> 00:02:13,240
Bugler.
63
00:02:13,445 --> 00:02:14,610
No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
64
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:15,851
This one isn't that bad.
65
00:02:15,994 --> 00:02:18,400
"He was 12, and he made a tourniquet
66
00:02:18,425 --> 00:02:20,501
"out of his scarf.
67
00:02:21,453 --> 00:02:23,653
"The Confederate soldier survived,
68
00:02:23,897 --> 00:02:25,564
"and then five years later,
69
00:02:25,589 --> 00:02:27,104
"he tracked down the little bugler
70
00:02:27,129 --> 00:02:28,604
and gave it back."
71
00:02:28,663 --> 00:02:30,229
Aw, that's sweet.
72
00:02:30,254 --> 00:02:32,463
Liza, it's not gonna hold up.
73
00:02:32,488 --> 00:02:33,771
You have a better chance
74
00:02:33,796 --> 00:02:35,879
at matching with Ryan Gosling on Tinder
75
00:02:35,904 --> 00:02:39,461
than finding a good book in the slush pile.
76
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:03,112
[horn honks]
77
00:03:11,199 --> 00:03:12,581
The Scarf?
78
00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:14,752
Yeah, okay, I know the title is lame,
79
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,176
but it's really good.
80
00:03:16,201 --> 00:03:19,324
It's about how this
12-year-old Union soldier
81
00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:22,923
uses his scarf to save a
Confederate soldier's life
82
00:03:22,948 --> 00:03:25,024
and how that act of humanity
83
00:03:25,049 --> 00:03:27,715
shapes the identity of
the Union soldier's family
84
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:28,949
for generations.
85
00:03:28,974 --> 00:03:29,749
Wow.
86
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,057
It's good. You should read it.
87
00:03:31,082 --> 00:03:33,058
Oh, no, I'm not really
that big of a reader.
88
00:03:33,264 --> 00:03:35,514
I mean, I read Japanese
Manga every once in a while,
89
00:03:35,539 --> 00:03:37,789
but mainly for the art, you know?
90
00:03:37,814 --> 00:03:39,756
Oh, I didn't know that.
91
00:03:39,781 --> 00:03:43,532
I mean, maybe you can read it to me in bed
92
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,056
after we play dodgeball.
93
00:03:46,353 --> 00:03:49,804
[people chattering]
94
00:03:50,017 --> 00:03:51,016
Bam!
95
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:52,874
The Billburg Ball Slingers?
96
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,367
Yeah, and I designed the logo myself.
97
00:03:54,392 --> 00:03:56,024
- It's dope, right?
- Totally.
98
00:03:56,049 --> 00:03:58,123
Hey, what up, Donny? D-cup!
99
00:03:58,498 --> 00:04:00,498
Legend, that one.
100
00:04:00,523 --> 00:04:03,113
Oh, he's on the team? Okay. Okay.
101
00:04:03,138 --> 00:04:04,590
Then I have nothing to worry about.
102
00:04:04,615 --> 00:04:06,698
Just watch out for her,
103
00:04:06,723 --> 00:04:09,190
her, and those two right there.
104
00:04:09,478 --> 00:04:12,813
Yeah, it got super crazy
one night after finals.
105
00:04:13,064 --> 00:04:14,063
You ready?
106
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:16,621
No, I don't even know the rules.
107
00:04:16,646 --> 00:04:19,261
Shh. Just don't get hit.
108
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,178
[dramatic opera music playing]
109
00:04:24,203 --> 00:04:31,125
110
00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:32,349
[whistle blows]
111
00:04:32,374 --> 00:04:36,426
112
00:04:36,451 --> 00:04:38,151
[all shouting]
113
00:04:39,852 --> 00:04:41,640
(man) Man down.
114
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:44,607
[upbeat funky music]
115
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:45,881
(man) Over there.
116
00:04:45,906 --> 00:04:47,156
(man)
Shake it, shake it
117
00:04:47,181 --> 00:04:48,313
(woman) You're out!
118
00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:50,422
[yelps]
119
00:04:50,447 --> 00:04:52,030
(man) Head down.
120
00:04:52,055 --> 00:04:53,254
You're out!
121
00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,412
I hit you.
122
00:04:55,437 --> 00:04:56,436
[yelps]
123
00:04:56,461 --> 00:05:03,500
124
00:05:03,525 --> 00:05:04,741
(woman) You're out!
125
00:05:04,766 --> 00:05:09,241
126
00:05:09,982 --> 00:05:11,232
You know what, the problem is,
127
00:05:11,257 --> 00:05:12,541
is you never found your rhythm.
128
00:05:12,566 --> 00:05:14,733
I don't think there was
just one problem, Josh,
129
00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:16,440
unless it was me agreeing to play.
130
00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:17,714
I totally thought you'd love it.
131
00:05:17,739 --> 00:05:18,841
I'm sorry.
132
00:05:18,866 --> 00:05:20,232
Also, you look like you'd be
133
00:05:20,257 --> 00:05:21,840
a lot faster than you were.
134
00:05:21,865 --> 00:05:23,081
There was nowhere to run!
135
00:05:23,106 --> 00:05:24,916
It was like being trapped in a cage
136
00:05:24,941 --> 00:05:26,014
with rabid hipsters.
137
00:05:26,039 --> 00:05:27,678
If there's such thing
as artisanal steroids,
138
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:28,827
I'm pretty sure they were on them.
139
00:05:28,852 --> 00:05:31,350
Whoa, where was this fire out on the court?
140
00:05:31,375 --> 00:05:33,967
Huh? I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
141
00:05:34,190 --> 00:05:36,524
I'm gonna go get something
else for your eye, all right?
142
00:05:36,549 --> 00:05:39,103
- Or we could just go home.
- [chuckles]
143
00:05:41,779 --> 00:05:43,904
Hey, Josh's new friend.
144
00:05:43,929 --> 00:05:44,961
I'm Jen.
145
00:05:44,986 --> 00:05:46,569
Liza.
146
00:05:46,869 --> 00:05:49,169
Ooh, I think that's my bad. Sorry.
147
00:05:49,194 --> 00:05:51,361
You're like my old Camry.
You tap it, and, bam,
148
00:05:51,386 --> 00:05:52,561
the air bags deploy.
149
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,887
Tap? Yeah, I actually think
you hit me pretty hard.
150
00:05:55,912 --> 00:05:57,278
Eh, maybe.
151
00:05:57,303 --> 00:05:59,687
When I first joined the
league, it almost wrecked me...
152
00:05:59,712 --> 00:06:01,353
busted finger, chipped tooth,
153
00:06:01,378 --> 00:06:02,994
and what turned out to be gonorrhea.
154
00:06:03,019 --> 00:06:04,769
Okay, well, it was really
nice talking to you.
155
00:06:04,794 --> 00:06:07,739
Yeah, I'd just gotten out
of a seven-year relationship.
156
00:06:07,865 --> 00:06:09,806
When you're with a guy for that long
157
00:06:09,831 --> 00:06:11,461
and you finally have your freedom,
158
00:06:11,486 --> 00:06:13,261
you make some bad calls.
159
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:17,108
So anyway, Josh and I know each other well.
160
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:18,383
Gonorrhea well?
161
00:06:18,408 --> 00:06:19,990
[laughs] Nah.
162
00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:21,661
He's clean.
163
00:06:21,686 --> 00:06:24,737
Have fun with him. He's gorgeous...
164
00:06:24,762 --> 00:06:26,929
but dumb as a box of hair.
165
00:06:30,677 --> 00:06:34,296
Hey, I got you some ice.
166
00:06:34,321 --> 00:06:38,123
Whoa, or is it ices?
167
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,514
[laughs]
168
00:06:39,539 --> 00:06:42,373
What's the plural of ice, bro?
169
00:06:42,398 --> 00:06:44,531
It's a collective noun.
170
00:06:44,556 --> 00:06:46,172
Hey, I brought you some ice.
171
00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:49,489
You okay?
172
00:06:49,514 --> 00:06:52,231
Oh... uh, no. It still smarts...
173
00:06:52,256 --> 00:06:53,405
I mean, hurts.
174
00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:55,547
(man)
Honey, a heart attack honey
175
00:07:06,407 --> 00:07:09,108
- Hey. Good morning.
- Morning.
176
00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:10,466
[chuckles]
177
00:07:10,491 --> 00:07:14,242
Looks like someone had a
little too much fun last night.
178
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,650
- Not exactly.
- [gasps]
179
00:07:15,675 --> 00:07:17,959
Oh, my God. What happened to you?
180
00:07:17,984 --> 00:07:20,058
Dodgeball, that's what happened.
181
00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:21,666
Why are we still playing kids' sports?
182
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:22,769
You shouldn't be allowed to throw a ball
183
00:07:22,794 --> 00:07:24,241
at someone's face with adult strength.
184
00:07:24,265 --> 00:07:25,800
Come up to my office.
185
00:07:25,825 --> 00:07:27,475
I've got some pretty heavy-duty stuff
186
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,667
for period acne and covering tattoos.
187
00:07:29,692 --> 00:07:30,976
It should do the trick.
188
00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:32,718
I also got nailed in the vagina.
189
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:34,159
[groans]
190
00:07:34,184 --> 00:07:35,350
[laughs]
191
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,976
Can I ask you something?
192
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:40,967
Yeah.
193
00:07:40,992 --> 00:07:42,772
Do you think Josh is dumb?
194
00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:44,964
I'm sure he's dumb. He's a guy.
195
00:07:44,989 --> 00:07:46,428
Josh dropped out of college.
196
00:07:46,453 --> 00:07:47,926
So did Mark Zuckerberg.
197
00:07:48,147 --> 00:07:50,327
Kelsey, he doesn't read.
198
00:07:50,352 --> 00:07:51,827
Well, if that's important to you,
199
00:07:51,852 --> 00:07:53,327
then that's important.
200
00:07:53,352 --> 00:07:55,426
I mean, we all have our deal breakers.
201
00:07:55,451 --> 00:07:56,926
I finished that book.
202
00:07:56,951 --> 00:07:58,561
It totally held up.
203
00:07:58,586 --> 00:07:59,961
No way.
204
00:07:59,986 --> 00:08:02,405
What happened with the
little bugler's scarf?
205
00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:05,606
Well, it... it becomes this family legend.
206
00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:07,717
The story of the little bugler
207
00:08:07,742 --> 00:08:09,209
gets passed down through this family,
208
00:08:09,234 --> 00:08:11,609
like long after the scarf goes missing.
209
00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:13,885
By the end, you start to think,
210
00:08:14,197 --> 00:08:15,809
"Maybe there never was a scarf.
211
00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:17,609
"It was just a way for this family
212
00:08:17,634 --> 00:08:18,809
to form an identity."
213
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,569
Sounds like a total mom book.
214
00:08:20,594 --> 00:08:22,268
50 Shades of Grey was a mom book.
215
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,768
Uh, don't remind me.
216
00:08:23,793 --> 00:08:26,169
My mom kept her copy in her bath caddy.
217
00:08:26,194 --> 00:08:28,475
I'm like, "Mom, I'm glad
you still have a sex drive,
218
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:29,889
"but I don't need to see the evidence
219
00:08:29,914 --> 00:08:31,489
next to your loofah."
220
00:08:32,026 --> 00:08:33,178
I really think The Scarf
221
00:08:33,203 --> 00:08:34,876
has the potential to be something, Kels.
222
00:08:34,901 --> 00:08:37,662
Well, the only way that
a book like that happens
223
00:08:37,687 --> 00:08:39,232
is on a grassroots level...
224
00:08:39,258 --> 00:08:41,460
blogs, suburban book clubs...
225
00:08:41,484 --> 00:08:43,600
I thought those book clubs were only for,
226
00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:45,592
like, you know, bored housewives.
227
00:08:45,617 --> 00:08:47,233
Those bored housewives,
228
00:08:47,258 --> 00:08:48,334
with their Oprah picks
229
00:08:48,359 --> 00:08:50,537
and their bottomless
glasses of Pinot Grigio,
230
00:08:50,562 --> 00:08:51,978
drive this business.
231
00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:54,105
If you can get the housewives,
232
00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:56,136
you can make the best-seller list.
233
00:08:59,492 --> 00:09:00,624
Michelle?
234
00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:02,984
Liza Miller, it is so
good to hear your voice.
235
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,794
Yours too; I've been
thinking about you so much.
236
00:09:05,819 --> 00:09:07,034
Oh, and me you.
237
00:09:07,059 --> 00:09:08,259
Am I ever gonna see you,
238
00:09:08,284 --> 00:09:09,917
or do I have to hope to run into you again
239
00:09:09,942 --> 00:09:11,107
on a street in Brooklyn?
240
00:09:11,132 --> 00:09:12,480
Actually, I was wondering
241
00:09:12,505 --> 00:09:15,019
if I was still in good standing
as a member of book club
242
00:09:15,044 --> 00:09:18,074
because I have an amazing
book for us to chat about.
243
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:20,637
(Michelle) Well, we're supposed to
reread The Handmaid's Tale,
244
00:09:20,662 --> 00:09:23,109
but it's really just an excuse
to make Margarita Atwoods,
245
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,349
so, yes, of course.
246
00:09:24,374 --> 00:09:25,551
We'd love to read your book,
247
00:09:25,576 --> 00:09:27,082
especially if it means getting you back.
248
00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,323
Thank you so much.
249
00:09:28,348 --> 00:09:29,926
I'll email you a PDF right now.
250
00:09:29,951 --> 00:09:31,025
A what?
251
00:09:31,236 --> 00:09:32,605
Personal call?
252
00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:34,683
Oh, uh, no. I finished all my w...
253
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,308
Oh, my God, if you have conjunctivitis,
254
00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:37,285
you need to leave.
255
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,863
Once someone in the bullpen
gets that, everyone has it.
256
00:09:38,888 --> 00:09:39,761
It's like kennel cough.
257
00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:42,761
No, I... I got this from dodgeball.
258
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:46,362
Oh. Cute. My niece plays dodgeball.
259
00:09:46,387 --> 00:09:48,082
She also calls jeans "hard pants"
260
00:09:48,107 --> 00:09:49,105
because she's six.
261
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,628
Feel free to go home
and slap a patch on that.
262
00:09:50,654 --> 00:09:52,567
No, actually, I'd like
to stay and do some work.
263
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:55,761
I... I found a book in the slush pile
264
00:09:55,787 --> 00:09:58,061
that I'm kind of excited about.
265
00:09:58,086 --> 00:09:59,902
You're excited about the slush pile.
266
00:09:59,927 --> 00:10:01,142
Oh, well, perfect.
267
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,215
Then, when you're done with those,
268
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,216
you can read my junk mail.
269
00:10:12,725 --> 00:10:14,470
Do you want to split an appetizer?
270
00:10:14,495 --> 00:10:17,908
Yeah, uh, maybe the "geh-nocchi"?
271
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:21,017
Actually, it's pronounced "gnocchi."
272
00:10:21,042 --> 00:10:21,915
What?
273
00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:24,415
Why hasn't anybody ever told me this?
274
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,197
'Cause you do it so cute.
275
00:10:26,222 --> 00:10:29,723
It's okay; it's like the
most mispronounced food.
276
00:10:29,748 --> 00:10:31,797
And I took a little
Italian in college, so...
277
00:10:31,822 --> 00:10:33,597
Oh, really?
278
00:10:33,622 --> 00:10:35,996
You're fancy like that, hmm?
279
00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:37,654
Do you speak any other languages?
280
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,128
No, I mean,
281
00:10:39,153 --> 00:10:41,820
I took Spanish for a year
in high school, but...
282
00:10:41,845 --> 00:10:44,846
And then after high
school, you just traveled?
283
00:10:45,189 --> 00:10:47,990
Yeah, uh, I guess I just traveled.
284
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,196
No, I mean, no college?
285
00:10:49,221 --> 00:10:51,150
I mean, in between Europe and Asia,
286
00:10:51,175 --> 00:10:53,556
I... I went back to West Virginia
287
00:10:53,581 --> 00:10:55,126
for a little bit and
enrolled in some college.
288
00:10:55,151 --> 00:10:56,665
Oh, cool. What was your major?
289
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,766
Smoking weed. Yeah.
290
00:11:00,575 --> 00:11:03,134
Unfortunately, I was never
really able to declare it
291
00:11:03,159 --> 00:11:05,251
because I only stayed
for a semester, but...
292
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,700
Well, have you ever
thought about going back?
293
00:11:08,171 --> 00:11:10,504
Mm, God, never. No.
294
00:11:10,529 --> 00:11:11,995
Well, that's okay; I mean, you know,
295
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:14,126
a lot of people who didn't
get a great education
296
00:11:14,151 --> 00:11:16,325
can self-educate with books.
297
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,331
Wait, so is this... is this whole
298
00:11:21,356 --> 00:11:23,712
me not reading, like,
actually a problem for you?
299
00:11:23,737 --> 00:11:27,267
No, it's just books
and reading are my life.
300
00:11:27,292 --> 00:11:28,439
I... I work in publishing.
301
00:11:28,464 --> 00:11:30,631
Yeah, and I'm a visual person.
302
00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:33,373
I get turned on by what I feel
303
00:11:33,398 --> 00:11:35,239
and what I see,
304
00:11:35,264 --> 00:11:38,239
not by just some words.
305
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:42,138
Of course. That's right... tattoos.
306
00:11:42,163 --> 00:11:45,739
Tattoos. Tattoos.
307
00:11:45,764 --> 00:11:48,138
Is that all that you think
that I'm about, though?
308
00:11:48,319 --> 00:11:49,702
Of course not.
309
00:11:49,727 --> 00:11:52,039
[sighs] That's good.
310
00:11:52,064 --> 00:11:55,039
You know what? I... I'm actually...
311
00:11:55,064 --> 00:11:56,728
I'm just gonna tell
you some things about me
312
00:11:56,753 --> 00:11:59,253
because I'm not really sure
you've been paying attention.
313
00:11:59,278 --> 00:12:04,815
So I am the type of guy
that likes to play bad music
314
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,197
with his buddies at the
bar around the corner.
315
00:12:07,222 --> 00:12:11,205
I'm someone who actually
enjoys listening to the J Train
316
00:12:11,229 --> 00:12:12,876
as it's rattling outside my window
317
00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:14,484
because I know that it's filled
318
00:12:14,509 --> 00:12:16,712
with all kinds of wonderful people
319
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:19,012
that are just living their lives.
320
00:12:19,037 --> 00:12:21,712
I like smoggy sunsets,
321
00:12:21,737 --> 00:12:23,212
I like smoking pot,
322
00:12:23,237 --> 00:12:27,618
and I would much rather
experience the world
323
00:12:27,643 --> 00:12:29,917
than read about it in some book.
324
00:12:30,426 --> 00:12:32,317
Of course. I know that.
325
00:12:32,342 --> 00:12:34,509
Do you?
326
00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:38,016
'Cause I... 'cause I'm not
really sure that you do.
327
00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:39,216
Hey.
328
00:12:39,954 --> 00:12:41,617
- Come on.
- [sighs]
329
00:12:41,642 --> 00:12:42,975
All right.
330
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,583
You know what? Maybe, uh...
331
00:12:44,608 --> 00:12:47,870
Maybe I don't really know
that much about you, either.
332
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,754
Hey.
333
00:12:57,779 --> 00:13:00,637
Is there a liquor store in
the area that gift-wraps?
334
00:13:00,662 --> 00:13:02,707
I need a really good bottle of Tequila
335
00:13:02,732 --> 00:13:04,012
that can make a guy blind drunk
336
00:13:04,037 --> 00:13:05,785
and forget everything I
said to him last night.
337
00:13:05,810 --> 00:13:07,692
Uh-oh. What happened?
338
00:13:07,717 --> 00:13:09,794
Ugh, I let Josh see the real me,
339
00:13:09,818 --> 00:13:12,664
the self-sabotaging, 40-year-old
New Jersey housewife
340
00:13:12,689 --> 00:13:14,683
who couldn't just let a
good thing stay that way.
341
00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:15,907
Wait, you told him you're 40?
342
00:13:15,932 --> 00:13:18,066
No, but I behaved that way...
343
00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:22,061
critical, judgmental...
like I have any right.
344
00:13:22,107 --> 00:13:23,985
And, Maggie, he is so wonderful.
345
00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:27,679
He's heartfelt and deep,
346
00:13:27,704 --> 00:13:29,987
and I just screwed it all up.
347
00:13:30,012 --> 00:13:31,535
It's like if I was really 26
348
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,536
and I could start all over,
349
00:13:34,098 --> 00:13:36,398
that is the man I'd be
falling in love with.
350
00:13:36,423 --> 00:13:38,757
Okay, well, he's so wonderful,
351
00:13:38,782 --> 00:13:40,816
and you're so wonderful, and...
352
00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:42,478
Wait, did you just say love?
353
00:13:42,503 --> 00:13:45,337
Only in the most speculative of terms.
354
00:13:45,362 --> 00:13:48,207
Stop using the fancy words and
tell me how you really feel.
355
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,918
Okay, first of all, I
know this is gonna end,
356
00:13:50,943 --> 00:13:52,242
and it's gonna end badly.
357
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,567
Well, if that's what you believe,
358
00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:55,967
it's probably why you're
trying to push him away.
359
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:59,128
You're right. I guess
I was trying to do that.
360
00:13:59,404 --> 00:14:01,871
It sounds like you succeeded.
361
00:14:01,896 --> 00:14:04,230
Spectacularly.
362
00:14:09,277 --> 00:14:11,777
[doorbell rings]
363
00:14:13,596 --> 00:14:15,430
- Hi!
- Hey!
364
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,517
- [laughs]
- Hi. Nice to see you.
365
00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:19,459
- You too. Come in, come in.
- Hi!
366
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,951
- Hey, stranger!
- Nice to see you.
367
00:14:21,976 --> 00:14:23,259
- You too.
- Hi.
368
00:14:23,284 --> 00:14:24,700
Oh, my God. Does she hit you?
369
00:14:24,725 --> 00:14:26,525
What? No. Who?
370
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,171
There was a rumor you went to Brooklyn
371
00:14:28,196 --> 00:14:30,246
to be with that lesbian friend.
372
00:14:30,271 --> 00:14:32,236
It wasn't me, but now I get
373
00:14:32,261 --> 00:14:34,177
why the setup with Richard didn't work out,
374
00:14:34,202 --> 00:14:35,947
which is fine; I'm cool.
375
00:14:35,972 --> 00:14:38,947
Oh, I got this from a city
sports league that I joined,
376
00:14:38,972 --> 00:14:41,113
and I moved to Brooklyn because my friend,
377
00:14:41,138 --> 00:14:42,517
who happens to be gay,
378
00:14:42,542 --> 00:14:44,217
is graciously letting me crash.
379
00:14:44,242 --> 00:14:46,326
Whatever you say. It's
none of our business.
380
00:14:46,351 --> 00:14:48,117
I watch Ellen every day.
381
00:14:51,017 --> 00:14:54,299
Oh, all right. Who wants to go first?
382
00:14:54,324 --> 00:14:56,524
(Michelle) Well, I
printed a copy of mine out
383
00:14:56,549 --> 00:14:57,751
and underlined some passages
384
00:14:57,776 --> 00:14:59,526
I thought were particularly significant.
385
00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:01,017
Would that be a good place to start?
386
00:15:01,042 --> 00:15:03,316
It's great, but, real
quick, I'm just curious.
387
00:15:03,341 --> 00:15:05,689
Who liked the book? Be honest.
388
00:15:05,869 --> 00:15:07,924
- Oh, I... I loved it.
- Loved.
389
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,241
- Me too.
- It's so good.
390
00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:10,632
It's Winter's Bone meets
391
00:15:10,657 --> 00:15:12,323
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
392
00:15:12,348 --> 00:15:13,574
Meets The Alchemist.
393
00:15:13,599 --> 00:15:15,377
I mean, the whole thing
is a parable, right?
394
00:15:15,402 --> 00:15:16,947
I agree with Michelle. Look.
395
00:15:16,972 --> 00:15:19,298
I even wrote, "Parable?" on the cover.
396
00:15:19,323 --> 00:15:21,126
What'd you think, Lori?
397
00:15:21,348 --> 00:15:23,510
Oh, honestly, I haven't
read a book since college.
398
00:15:23,535 --> 00:15:25,010
I just come here for the cocktails.
399
00:15:25,035 --> 00:15:26,645
Sometimes she naps.
400
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,447
Well, I think it's genius.
401
00:15:28,472 --> 00:15:30,611
I tried to look up some
of the author's other work,
402
00:15:30,636 --> 00:15:32,219
but I couldn't find anything online.
403
00:15:32,244 --> 00:15:33,885
That's because she's never been published.
404
00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:35,612
- Oh, you're kidding.
- What do you mean?
405
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:37,447
She's never been... how is that possible?
406
00:15:37,472 --> 00:15:39,105
I know. It's hard to believe.
407
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:42,447
An editor friend of mine discovered her.
408
00:15:42,472 --> 00:15:45,147
This friend needs to get this published.
409
00:15:45,873 --> 00:15:48,147
Yes, she does.
410
00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:49,929
Thank you guys so much.
411
00:15:49,954 --> 00:15:51,658
- So good to see you.
- Thank you.
412
00:15:51,683 --> 00:15:54,527
- Drive safely.
- Bye. Okay.
413
00:15:54,772 --> 00:15:56,439
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
414
00:15:56,464 --> 00:15:57,796
Hey.
415
00:15:57,821 --> 00:15:59,905
It was so good to see you!
416
00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:01,846
It was so good to see you too, Lori.
417
00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:03,827
[panting]
418
00:16:09,019 --> 00:16:13,222
You know, sometimes I
fantasize about being...
419
00:16:13,247 --> 00:16:15,747
in Brooklyn.
420
00:16:16,374 --> 00:16:17,673
- Okay.
- Okay. All right.
421
00:16:17,698 --> 00:16:19,322
- I got to go.
- You... you got to go.
422
00:16:19,347 --> 00:16:20,669
- Yeah.
- Okay, so me too.
423
00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:21,635
All right. Be safe.
424
00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:22,760
- Good night. You too.
- Okay.
425
00:16:22,785 --> 00:16:23,526
Thank you.
426
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:25,119
- All right.
- Bye-bye.
427
00:16:25,144 --> 00:16:26,828
Okay, bye. It's just you're so pretty.
428
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,127
Just don't let anything...
429
00:16:28,152 --> 00:16:31,601
I'm gonna stop talking.
Okay. Who's got my keys?
430
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:36,242
[energetic electronic music]
431
00:16:36,244 --> 00:16:38,044
432
00:16:38,046 --> 00:16:39,495
(woman)
I don't want to behave
433
00:16:39,497 --> 00:16:42,215
Don't want to wait for Saturday
434
00:16:42,217 --> 00:16:44,167
435
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,751
Young and drunk and free
436
00:16:45,753 --> 00:16:49,138
Hey, mister, mister, dance with me
437
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:51,307
'Cause I'm sick of
doing what they tell me
438
00:16:51,309 --> 00:16:52,892
Sick and tired of trying to please
439
00:16:52,894 --> 00:16:55,928
I'm escapin', breakin' free
440
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:57,346
With a pocket full of cash
441
00:16:57,348 --> 00:17:01,400
My dice is swinging on the dash
442
00:17:01,402 --> 00:17:02,432
443
00:17:02,432 --> 00:17:04,701
_
444
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,577
Hey, how'd it go last night?
445
00:17:11,579 --> 00:17:13,570
It was weird, but look.
446
00:17:13,595 --> 00:17:15,308
Some of the women from book club
447
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:17,756
posted great reviews of
The Scarf on Goodreads.
448
00:17:17,781 --> 00:17:19,445
Oh, my God. They all loved it.
449
00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:21,819
I know, and now all these
other people on the site
450
00:17:21,844 --> 00:17:23,644
are wondering how they can find it.
451
00:17:23,669 --> 00:17:25,502
Well, that's a start.
452
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:26,526
[keyboard clicking]
453
00:17:26,551 --> 00:17:27,917
What are you doing now?
454
00:17:27,942 --> 00:17:30,410
I'm telling them to contact Empirical Press
455
00:17:30,435 --> 00:17:33,052
and demand that we publish the book.
456
00:17:33,077 --> 00:17:36,161
Hey, what do those housewives
do at book club, anyway?
457
00:17:36,186 --> 00:17:38,331
People got drunk, talked about guys.
458
00:17:38,356 --> 00:17:40,319
One woman kissed me
inappropriately on the mouth.
459
00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:41,519
Oh.
460
00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,435
So not that different
than when we all hang out.
461
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:44,858
Better wine, bigger living rooms.
462
00:17:44,883 --> 00:17:47,756
[upbeat music]
463
00:17:47,781 --> 00:17:51,057
464
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:03,755
What are you doing here?
465
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:05,856
Hey.
466
00:18:06,287 --> 00:18:08,060
Well, I figured, if I came here,
467
00:18:08,085 --> 00:18:10,661
you know, got a little beat up again,
468
00:18:10,686 --> 00:18:12,305
maybe you'd feel sorry for me
469
00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:13,879
and walk me home,
470
00:18:13,904 --> 00:18:15,952
maybe even put your arm around me.
471
00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:18,652
And then along the way,
I'd say something charming,
472
00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:21,952
and maybe you'd forgive me.
473
00:18:23,946 --> 00:18:25,245
It's kind of a stupid plan,
474
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:29,152
but sometimes, I'm kind of stupid.
475
00:18:29,257 --> 00:18:31,942
Oh, did... did you realize
476
00:18:31,967 --> 00:18:33,600
that we have something in common?
477
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,452
That is not what I meant.
478
00:18:35,477 --> 00:18:38,452
I don't think you're stupid.
479
00:18:38,477 --> 00:18:42,012
[sighs] Okay.
480
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:45,521
Why is it such a big deal
to you that I don't read?
481
00:18:45,546 --> 00:18:49,996
Honestly, I think I was
just looking for a problem.
482
00:18:50,021 --> 00:18:53,188
I just don't want to be
blindsided by one down the road.
483
00:18:53,213 --> 00:18:56,896
I feel like I can't trust how happy I am.
484
00:18:57,889 --> 00:18:59,255
Wow.
485
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,031
Okay.
486
00:19:02,056 --> 00:19:03,795
Do you know what...
487
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,771
what my takeaway is from hearing all that?
488
00:19:06,796 --> 00:19:09,196
That I'm prone to emotional sabotage
489
00:19:09,221 --> 00:19:11,721
and have some past relationship baggage?
490
00:19:11,746 --> 00:19:13,395
No.
491
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:18,496
It's that I'm emotionally
way smarter than you.
492
00:19:18,521 --> 00:19:20,605
[chuckles]
493
00:19:20,630 --> 00:19:22,234
And better at dodgeball.
494
00:19:22,259 --> 00:19:24,105
So much better at dodgeball.
495
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,206
[both laugh]
496
00:19:27,790 --> 00:19:30,791
Good thing you're so cute, you know that?
497
00:19:30,816 --> 00:19:33,650
Just coast on them good looks.
498
00:19:33,675 --> 00:19:35,806
So you forgive me?
499
00:19:36,892 --> 00:19:38,905
No. No.
500
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:40,313
Not so fast.
501
00:19:40,338 --> 00:19:42,206
There's a pop quiz later...
502
00:19:42,231 --> 00:19:44,306
clothing optional.
503
00:19:44,331 --> 00:19:46,105
- Okay.
- [mutters]
504
00:19:46,130 --> 00:19:49,405
Okay, come on. [laughs]
505
00:19:49,430 --> 00:19:50,605
[whack]
506
00:19:50,630 --> 00:19:52,706
[chuckles] What's up, Jen?
507
00:19:55,497 --> 00:19:56,579
[laughs]
508
00:19:56,604 --> 00:19:59,639
[upbeat music]
509
00:19:59,664 --> 00:20:01,246
510
00:20:01,248 --> 00:20:02,965
(woman)
Mm, mm, mm
511
00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:04,706
I love this area.
512
00:20:04,731 --> 00:20:06,731
It's my favorite neighborhood.
513
00:20:06,756 --> 00:20:08,006
What's it called?
514
00:20:08,031 --> 00:20:09,506
Dumbo.
515
00:20:09,617 --> 00:20:11,605
[both laugh]
516
00:20:11,630 --> 00:20:13,630
It's beautiful.
517
00:20:13,655 --> 00:20:16,706
(woman)
I'm seeing stars
518
00:20:16,731 --> 00:20:19,405
Mm, mm, mm
519
00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:22,681
I'm seeing stars
520
00:20:22,706 --> 00:20:24,956
Mm, mm
521
00:20:24,981 --> 00:20:27,635
I'm seeing stars
522
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:31,425
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
523
00:20:31,475 --> 00:20:36,025
Repair and Synchronization by
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