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Previously on Weeds:
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Can you imagine?
3
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Boy out jogging with his daddy.
Boom, daddy drop.
4
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:14,404
If my husband died,
I'd suck out, lift up...
5
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,173
...and inject anything that moved.
6
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,680
I heard there was nothing.
7
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,409
I wonder how she's getting by.
8
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,213
Drugs sell themselves, biscuit.
9
00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:23,686
Keep kids off drugs,
cries the pot-dealing mom.
10
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Gets you through the night,
good for you.
11
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,860
Can we have sex in your house?
12
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,423
Nice.
13
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:33,566
-Her husband's boning a tennis pro.
-Helen Chin?
14
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,063
That little cunt.
15
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,053
And five, six, seven, eight....
16
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,520
Sell it, ladies.
17
00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,288
And, go!
18
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:40,194
Give me shoulders. Give me attitude.
19
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,367
Heads down, ladies.
20
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:46,733
-You know about Celia's husband.
-Sleeping with the tennis pro.
21
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:49,340
-He's homosexual?
-Not Victor, the oriental girl.
22
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:52,273
Helen Chin?
She completely transformed my serve.
23
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,709
-I hope they don't fire her.
-Ladies.
24
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:58,078
-Throwing stones in a glass room?
-We're gossiping about Celia.
25
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Lovely.
26
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:02,320
-Come on, Nancy, it's harmless fun.
-Probably not for Celia.
27
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,957
Oh, please.
Celia wasn't programmed to feel.
28
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,491
Why not chat about
who your husbands are fucking.
29
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:10,424
Oh, look,
here come the girls.
30
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:14,294
You take care, Nancy.
It must be so hard for you being all alone.
31
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,866
God bless.
32
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,600
Mom?
33
00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:22,172
I thought Blanca was picking
me up after school.
34
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:25,470
Yes, well, surprise.
35
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:28,443
Blanca had to take
your sister to the airport.
36
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:32,016
The airport? Where's she going?
37
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:36,713
Quinn is on her way to
boarding school in Mexico.
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00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,984
-She didn't say anything.
-Yeah, not a sentimentalist, your sister.
39
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,752
Can we talk about this in the car?
40
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,156
-But--
-ln the car.
41
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,661
Go change your clothes.
I'll meet you at the desk.
42
00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,599
Karate class will be starting.
43
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,894
Mr. St. Denis, so nice to see you.
44
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:53,300
Always a pleasure, Mrs. Botwin.
Shane's doing very well in karate.
45
00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:55,805
I'm so glad to hear that.
46
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:58,409
Mom, the lady at the desk
says you need to pay.
47
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,945
-I wrote a check last week.
-She said it didn't clear.
48
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:03,605
There must be some explanation.
49
00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:06,149
You don't have any money
in your checking account.
50
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,981
I'll go to the desk, straighten it out.
Go back to class.
51
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:11,521
-I gotta pee.
-Fine, hurry up. Hold up the belt.
52
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,251
-Hold up the belt, so it doesn't get wet.
-Mom!
53
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,691
-Hey, Nancy.
-Hi, Celia.
54
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:25,067
Nancy, hey. Check this out.
55
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,368
Oh, shit! Nancy, I am so sorry.
56
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,771
What did you just chuck
at my face?
57
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,504
It's called a "Roomerang."
And when you throw it--
58
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:37,343
It's supposed to come back to you, when
someone's face doesn't get in the way.
59
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:40,179
-Not saying you did that on purpose.
-Can I have a tissue?
60
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,287
Sure. Here.
61
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,322
Doug, we need to talk.
62
00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,823
Oh, no. No, no. Don't tell me you're dry.
63
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:51,725
-I'm not dry, Doug. I'm broke.
-Thank God.
64
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,628
Maybe I should save some money
by firing my accountant.
65
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:57,634
Let's not get carried away.
We should brainstorm on this.
66
00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:01,399
-Have some dialogue, confab, powwow.
-Can't believe I trust you with my money.
67
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:04,134
-You're an idiot.
-I'm an idiot savant.
68
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,973
Say what you will about me personally,
but I am a great fucking CPA.
69
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:10,547
You won't let me deposit cash
in my checking account.
70
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,151
I'm running all over town
paying my bills with cash.
71
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:16,811
Because I can't have a paper trail
of cash deposits. Trust me on this.
72
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:20,187
-Am I supposed to sell my house?
-How about Lupita, your housekeeper?
73
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:25,320
She's like family. And since her daughter's
still in court reporting school....
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00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:29,901
I started selling so I could maintain
my lifestyle, not dismantle it.
75
00:04:30,069 --> 00:04:33,232
You'll have to sell more.
Nancy, it's the oldest rule in business:
76
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,533
Buy low, sell high.
77
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:39,405
You get it? Sell high.
78
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:42,844
If you ever make a business card,
you could use that.
79
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,716
Doug.
80
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,485
Okay. All right, listen.
I've been working on setting up...
81
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:52,113
...a business loan for you so we can
have a front to launder money through.
82
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,090
You can replenish your checking account,
pay some bills.
83
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,523
And boom: Bob's your uncle.
84
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,891
-What's my legitimate business?
-I don't know.
85
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:02,000
Pick something. Paperwork's the same.
Let me know what you want.
86
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:05,103
Could my cover business eventually
become my real business?
87
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:07,762
In this economy,
small business is fucked.
88
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,738
But that'll be good for us.
Don't worry. Pick something...
89
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,901
...with a low inventory, okay?
90
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,307
I am so screwed.
91
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,277
Stop that.
Everything's gonna be great.
92
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,646
I'm guaranteeing you at least
seven customers at tomorrow's game.
93
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,788
And if you could be here by 8,
that would be perfecto.
94
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:27,288
How about a little cash up front?
95
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,250
Sure.
96
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:36,094
Shit, I'm all tapped out.
I'll hit the ATM later. I promise.
97
00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:40,835
I'd offer to write you a check,
but that seems insensitive.
98
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,305
Not to mention unwise.
If you should get caught...
99
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,341
...I can't have it coming back to me.
100
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:49,846
Silas, is there a phone
off the hook upstairs?
101
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,075
-It's dead.
-What?
102
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:55,313
It's dead.
All the phones are dead.
103
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,649
Oh, shit.
104
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:00,987
Don't worry.
105
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,223
I'll go on-line, pay it right now.
106
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:11,935
-Why can't I get on-line?
-DSL is connected through the phone.
107
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,732
I'll give you 50 bucks right now...
108
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:16,306
...if you don't give me any grief
about this.
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00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,139
Cool.
110
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,042
You haven't talked to Quinn's
mom lately, have you?
111
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,810
-I saw her at karate.
-Well, you didn't say anything to her, right?
112
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,384
About what?
113
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,646
You know, about how you
caught me and Quinn.
114
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:31,289
Why would you think that?
115
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:35,450
Because I haven't heard from Quinn,
and she wasn't at school.
116
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,357
I don't know. I just....
117
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:40,829
-I don't get it.
-She didn't say goodbye?
118
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,065
-Goodbye?
-What do you mean, goodbye?
119
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:47,297
I heard Celia saying something
about Quinn going to Mexico.
120
00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:49,607
Mexico?
121
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,006
I don't know, I overheard.
122
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:54,913
Quinn....
123
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,879
Quinn wouldn't go to Mexico
without telling me.
124
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:01,517
I'm sorry, honey.
I don't know the whole story.
125
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:04,884
You're sorry?
She's probably been trying to call me.
126
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,184
What the hell is the matter
with this family...
127
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,828
...that we can't even have
a goddamn working phone?
128
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,361
Such a fucking mess.
129
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,260
-Silas.
-Hi, missus.
130
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,197
Hi, Lupita. How you doing?
131
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,996
I think I have the menopause.
132
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:21,572
I'm thinking I'm gonna
have another baby, and I cry.
133
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,539
And then I hear,
"No, it is the menopause."
134
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,337
And I say, "Thank you, God."
135
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,413
So you no pay me last week.
136
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,345
-I didn't?
-You no pay me.
137
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:36,249
-Are you sure?
-You pay me now?
138
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,863
Okay, gracias.
139
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,401
Good morning, I am Shane Botwin
and I am 10 years old today.
140
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:54,267
And I have been told that these
are the people responsible.
141
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,466
- Turn it off.
- To celebrate this, my natal day...
142
00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:00,111
...I have asked for
the Megatech radio-controlled...
143
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:03,476
...blimp-UFO combo,
a night-vision binocular...
144
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:08,586
...and the DVD of Stephen Chow's
cinematic masterpiece, Shaolin Soccer.
145
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:11,382
I wonder if these so-called
parents of mine...
146
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,923
...have purchased any of these items.
147
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:17,256
Let's see what the alleged
parental units have to say.
148
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:18,761
Honey.
149
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,421
Show Shane your stretch marks.
150
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,692
Show him yours.
151
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:25,502
You know, you were not born...
152
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:28,435
... until 4:00 in the afternoon,
so you, my friend...
153
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:31,042
...are not officially 1 0 years old yet.
154
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,007
Will you make me pizza eggs?
155
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:38,880
-Hey, we got any leftover pizza?
-Yes.
156
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:44,019
Then I will make you pizza eggs,
but not because it's your birthday.
157
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,852
But because I'm feeling
a little bit peckish myself...
158
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:50,359
...and your mother's not a morning person.
And I love you.
159
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,897
-And it's my birthday.
-And it's your birthday.
160
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:55,294
Do you think I'm weird?
161
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,665
-Yes!
- Totally weird. But you're awesome.
162
00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:02,638
And I wouldn't trade you in
for any other almost- 1 0-year-old on earth.
163
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:06,505
What if there's life on other planets,
and there's an unbelievable, amazing...
164
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,670
... 1 0-year-old out there?
165
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:12,182
Why would I trade down, man?
166
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:14,410
To me, you're the best, dude.
167
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:19,047
You are the amazing,
unbelievable Shane Botwin.
168
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:24,124
--amazing, unbelievable Shane Botwin.
169
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,964
--amazing, unbelievable Shane Botwin.
170
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,806
It's amazing the guy would even
consider a plea of not guilty.
171
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:40,312
-Amazing.
-Part of me thinks he actually...
172
00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:43,004
...believes his own bullshit,
which is just scary.
173
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:04,530
You think it's safe I take two Ambien?
Could really use some good sleep tonight.
174
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,797
I think you should take
the whole bottle.
175
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:10,106
Funny.
176
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,512
Night, dear.
177
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:51,478
Dean?
178
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:54,152
You awake?
179
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,554
Did your hair go to boarding school
in Mexico too?
180
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,306
I don't know what you're talking about.
181
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:25,347
Where is she?
182
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,646
Silas, come over here and hold
this sign, so I can staple.
183
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:30,755
Were you so threatened...
184
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:34,188
...by your daughter's sexuality
that you had to ship her off?
185
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,090
-Pardon me?
-Who told you we had sex?
186
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,764
Young man,
this is the first that I'm hearing...
187
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:45,529
...that you and my daughter had sex.
Although now that I've been made aware...
188
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,765
...I'm tempted to bring her home,
just so I can ship her off again.
189
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,501
The little slut. How dare you!
190
00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:54,271
-Tell me where she is!
-Why?
191
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,381
So you can fly down to Mexico...
192
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,483
...and spring her
from Casa Reforma?
193
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:03,179
-I love her.
-You stuck your penis in her.
194
00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:09,554
That's not love, believe me.
195
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,630
If you didn't know about us,
then why is she in Mexico?
196
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,358
-That's a private family matter.
-I am her family.
197
00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:17,092
Oh, God.
198
00:12:17,269 --> 00:12:18,793
Poor thing.
199
00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:23,704
Do you really think that my daughter
had deep romantic feelings for you?
200
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,503
Is that what you think?
201
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:29,705
Now I'm sure that you were a fun
and sweaty diversion for her.
202
00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:33,579
But the truth is, Quinn had a day
and a half to get all of her ducks in a row...
203
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,154
...before going to Mexico,
and she didn't call you.
204
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:42,256
She didn't write or lM
or e-mail you either, did she?
205
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:47,058
But I'll tell you what she did do. She
downloaded 2000 songs into her iPod...
206
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:50,031
...and dyed her hair pink
with black on the tips.
207
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:53,968
Because all that Quinn cares about
is Quinn.
208
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,836
She takes after her father that way.
209
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,777
Poor schmuck.
210
00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:06,712
Oh, you poor schmuck.
You just played wrong.
211
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:10,378
That's a boat. Mark that.
212
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:13,957
So wait, a boat is when the four ends
add up to 20?
213
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,219
A boat is when I spank
this boy's black ass...
214
00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:19,193
...for thinking he all that
with his three switchin' bitches.
215
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:22,892
-Three switchin' bitches?
-It's 15. And a boat is 20.
216
00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:25,559
Stop fucking with her.
She's trying to learn the game.
217
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,933
Then log off of
"Hot Asian Chicks Suck Ass"...
218
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:31,406
-...and you teach her.
-I'm bidding for rims on eBay.
219
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:35,343
Just like a nigga to buy new rims for his
bucket before it's got a steering wheel.
220
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,483
Kiss my ass. I just put a steering wheel
in there two days ago.
221
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,982
Okay, well, then.
222
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,548
Tennis-shoe pimp. That's 200.
223
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,486
And break out the peppermint lotion...
224
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,253
...because you're gonna
massage my feet.
225
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,826
-What would you have gotten if you won?
-She was gonna baby-sit.
226
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,695
-What am I gonna tell Horatia?
-Tell her the truth, baby.
227
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:59,337
That you a stinky, foot-rubbing loser.
228
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,906
-I'll watch the kids.
-For nothing?
229
00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:04,338
-It's his anniversary.
-Oh, that's so sweet.
230
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,343
-How long have you been married?
-Since she got big with Shea...
231
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:10,710
...and her daddy told Keeyon
he'd be all bun if he didn't do right.
232
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:13,977
-All bun?
-You know...
233
00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:15,245
...hotdog.
234
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,650
You need to pay Veneeta
if she gonna baby-sit.
235
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:21,384
-ls this your business?
-Everything is my business.
236
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,220
Speaking of business....
237
00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:26,989
Yes?
238
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,657
I was-- I was wondering
what your credit policy was?
239
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:33,703
What you think? This ain't fucking Macy's.
You get what you pay for.
240
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,431
Because....
241
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,372
I'm a little short this week...
242
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,836
...but there are people waiting,
and I promise I'll come right back.
243
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:45,506
You bet your sweet ass
you'll come right back.
244
00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:47,982
You want weed on credit,
leave some collateral.
245
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,780
-You believe this girl?
-Like what?
246
00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:52,651
You got some nice shoes.
What size you wear?
247
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,658
-How much you need?
-An ounce, maybe two.
248
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,956
Hell, no.
Shoes ain't gonna cover that shit.
249
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:01,691
How about I hold on
to that nice rock you wearing?
250
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,532
All right, all right,
I'm not unreasonable.
251
00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:09,469
Sentimental value and all that.
252
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:15,613
-Leave your car instead.
-My car? I'm leasing it.
253
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:19,273
Then you really gonna want
to get it back then, aren't you?
254
00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:21,009
How am I gonna get home?
255
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,054
Take Conrad's bucket.
256
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:29,057
White lady in the hooptie?
Oh, you gotta let me get a picture.
257
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:31,423
-Not my baby.
-That's it.
258
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,758
Range Rover for stony clover.
259
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:37,892
-I've been working on that car for a year.
-And it still looks like shit.
260
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:41,130
So, what's it gonna be?
261
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,575
Conrad,
give her the keys to the hooptie.
262
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,774
-It's a classic.
-I promise...
263
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,011
-...I'll treat her like she was my very own.
-lt only takes super.
264
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:57,052
-You gotta check the water.
-Okay.
265
00:15:57,222 --> 00:15:59,213
-And the oil.
-You should leave those shoes.
266
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:02,883
-And the coolant.
-Get out of here before Veneeta strip you.
267
00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:23,314
From Public Radio International,
this is The World.
268
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,433
Nice doing business with you guys.
269
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,801
Have a good game.
270
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:51,306
Hey, does anybody have
any money left to play with?
271
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,069
-Not me.
-I'm done.
272
00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:56,339
Fuck it then. Let's get high
and make fun of Dean's bald head.
273
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,987
-Celia?
-Nancy?
274
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:14,221
Hello.
275
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,299
What are you doing out here?
276
00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:20,461
Oh, I had to sign some papers
in Doug's office.
277
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,674
I followed Dean here.
278
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,847
-Did you see him?
-Yes, I did.
279
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,312
They were...
280
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,178
-...playing poker.
-Oh, great.
281
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:37,948
Now he's gonna come home broke
and stinking of marijuana.
282
00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:41,388
-Guess that's better than oriental pussy.
-Excuse me?
283
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,494
Oh, come on, Nancy. I know you know.
284
00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:45,061
Everybody knows.
285
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,698
There are no secrets in this town.
286
00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:49,493
-Maybe a few.
-No.
287
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:53,502
None. You're having money problems.
Our children had sex.
288
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:56,573
Judy Gordon orders OxyContin
over the lnternet...
289
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,802
-...and has developed quite the habit.
-"Jesus-Loves-You" Judy?
290
00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:04,278
"Jesus-Loves-You" Judy loves
her hillbilly heroin.
291
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:08,181
But you didn't hear that from me.
I don't like gossip.
292
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:10,253
Where's your car?
293
00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:14,686
I don't know, I parked....
294
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:19,593
I think I parked on the other side
of the building. This place is so confusing.
295
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,858
Do you want a lift?
296
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:24,665
No, you know.
297
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,704
Not now. You know, I'd rather walk.
298
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:32,673
What about you? You're not
gonna sit here all night, are you?
299
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,575
Well, I was thinking of tracking
down the tennis whore...
300
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:37,772
...and beating her to death
with a tire iron.
301
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:42,148
But I forgot to set my TiVo
for The Shield, so I think I'll go home.
302
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:44,746
Love Michael Chiklis.
303
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,625
-Goodnight, Nancy.
-See you, Celia.
304
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:57,430
Hello?
305
00:18:58,537 --> 00:18:59,595
Hello?
306
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:01,967
Lupita.
307
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:05,770
You hungry?
I can warm up some pasta.
308
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,411
No, thanks.
309
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:10,581
Silas. Honey?
310
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:14,683
He been like that
since after school, all day.
311
00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:17,788
He don't eat. He don't move.
312
00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:21,653
Right, isn't this cool?
This is better than Silas' Polarium.
313
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,089
Oh, my God.
314
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:26,425
-Dad, Vorilium.
-Maybe just one--
315
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:29,066
-Mom!
-Oh, no!
316
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,464
Shane, Shane, Shane, relax.
We can fix it.
317
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:32,626
No.
318
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:36,740
Shane, look at me. We can fix this.
Everything's gonna be okay, buddy.
319
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:38,805
You got that, Mom?
320
00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:42,069
Dad made it all better.
321
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:43,880
Silas, honey.
322
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,184
What's going on?
323
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,979
I don't wanna talk about it.
324
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:55,115
Silas, I know things have been
a little bumpy around here lately--
325
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:59,025
-She didn't even give a shit about me.
-She?
326
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:06,101
-Honey, of course she did. It's just--
-No.
327
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:09,502
She just took off without
even bothering to say goodbye.
328
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:13,940
My whole fucking life,
people just go away.
329
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,548
Mom!
330
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:25,223
Jesus, Shane.
331
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:29,793
-What happened? I call 91 1! Hello? Hello?
-I think I broke my arm.
332
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:34,290
-Fucking perfect, the phone's still dead.
-You don't say "fucking" to your mother!
333
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:38,668
Dr. Hoffman, extension 4-2-1-7.
334
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:40,327
Ma'am?
335
00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:42,905
Ma'am, how will you be paying?
336
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:45,341
Cash.
337
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:47,909
I know what you did!
338
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:53,384
-I know you stole that goat.
-Mr. Norman.
339
00:20:53,952 --> 00:20:56,887
-Goat thief!
-Mr. Norman, step back into your line.
340
00:20:57,055 --> 00:21:01,424
I know, it's the economy, stupid.
But that goat didn't belong to you.
341
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:02,992
He was a free goat.
342
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:05,686
Mom, it really hurts. It's throbbing.
343
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:09,163
-It's throbbing, Mom.
-Back off, nutty!
344
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:13,871
You're a crybaby.
345
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:22,046
I'm gonna take your free goat
and shove it straight up your ass!
346
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,704
What goat?
347
00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:26,407
Woman, you are light.
348
00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:29,213
You are lighter than Michael Jackson,
you so light.
349
00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:32,824
-Where is my money?
-Shane broke his arm last night.
350
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:36,794
Sorry to hear that.
351
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,689
-Where is my money?
-I'll get it, I swear.
352
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:42,857
I need more inventory.
I'll pay everything back.
353
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:44,593
Sure, you will.
354
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:49,104
But until then, it's time to give it up,
the shiny bits.
355
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:51,438
You have my car.
356
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,737
I can't sell no leased car.
357
00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:56,073
Now, you want more,
you got to leave more.
358
00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:59,274
And you got a shitty watch,
and you're buying knock-off handbags.
359
00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:02,318
It's just business, baby.
Now I know you got troubles...
360
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:05,388
...but like my mamma always said,
tough shit.
361
00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:08,924
-Do you have a cover business?
-Of course I do.
362
00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:12,928
A Jew out in Century City set me up.
I know he's skimming cream off the top...
363
00:22:13,098 --> 00:22:15,430
...but he makes everything seem
real nice on paper.
364
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:19,127
You looking at the president
and chief executive officer of Tidy Up lnc.
365
00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:22,501
-Got me a van out back and everything.
-Maid service?
366
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:25,268
Housecleaner. I ain't nobody's maid.
367
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:29,107
You ain't no housecleaner neither.
You a weed dealer with a front.
368
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:30,839
And these are my employees.
369
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:34,008
What do you do if somebody
calls to get his house cleaned?
370
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:38,122
Then I refer him to my cousin Zondra,
who cleans for real. She don't make shit.
371
00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:40,349
But Zondra found the Lord,
so she don't care.
372
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:43,426
One day we gonna all retire
to a beach house in the Caribbean.
373
00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:45,961
Till some "wrath of God"
type shit happens...
374
00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:48,326
...and washes everything away
in a tidal wave...
375
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:50,593
...Iike those poor fuckers in lndonesia.
376
00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:54,261
-Not me.
-Tsunami. It's called a "tsunami."
377
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:56,632
I love the sound of that word.
378
00:22:56,808 --> 00:22:59,538
Knowing you, you'd probably
name the baby Tsunami.
379
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,043
I don't care what you say,
that's a pretty name.
380
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,445
You are not naming my grandbaby
after some killer wave.
381
00:23:06,084 --> 00:23:08,780
And we ain't getting
no beach house neither.
382
00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:11,081
I can't stand the sand.
383
00:23:11,256 --> 00:23:15,283
Sand, blood and relatives,
can't never get rid of them.
384
00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:19,696
See y'all later.
385
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:25,898
-How much you think we get for that?
-Nothing.
386
00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,373
She'll be back.
387
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:45,181
-Oh, shit.
-Oh, you have no idea.
388
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,888
Wait. Let's not do this here.
389
00:23:48,059 --> 00:23:50,892
No? Where should we go? A motel?
390
00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:55,897
My pool house, maybe.
How about up my husband's ass?
391
00:23:57,035 --> 00:24:00,232
We need to go somewhere
where we can get very, very drunk.
392
00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:03,672
I'm a mean drunk. Let's go.
393
00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:10,606
He's cute, funny, clean--
394
00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:13,182
Married. To me.
395
00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:16,013
It's not like we're running
off together. It was sex.
396
00:24:16,721 --> 00:24:18,985
Very hot sex.
397
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:22,449
He went down on me for days.
398
00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:24,857
Always did excellent work down there.
399
00:24:26,598 --> 00:24:28,031
Piece of shit.
400
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,395
Is that what you think? He's shit?
401
00:24:31,770 --> 00:24:34,238
You know,
when you stop being cute...
402
00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:38,433
...and clean and funny at home,
and start spending afternoons...
403
00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:42,205
...with your head buried
in the snatch of the tennis pro...
404
00:24:42,380 --> 00:24:44,541
...yeah, you're a piece of shit.
405
00:24:44,716 --> 00:24:47,150
-Are you going to divorce him?
-Divorce?
406
00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:49,944
He can't support two households.
407
00:24:50,121 --> 00:24:53,522
And I am not living
in a townhouse again.
408
00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,457
So, what did you do
that was so special?
409
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:03,657
I did everything he ever wanted:
costumes, role-playing.
410
00:25:04,302 --> 00:25:07,635
-I bought a fucking swing.
-Listen, most guys cheat.
411
00:25:07,806 --> 00:25:11,503
And it's not because the wife
is some horrible, frigid bitch...
412
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:15,602
...but it's because they all
have this primal urge...
413
00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:17,941
-...to seek variety.
-Pieces of shit.
414
00:25:18,116 --> 00:25:20,778
-Dean's a good guy.
-You know, shut up.
415
00:25:21,386 --> 00:25:23,320
I'm very mad at him.
416
00:25:24,155 --> 00:25:26,919
He's just not what
I thought he'd be, you know?
417
00:25:27,092 --> 00:25:29,890
-Which was?
-Rich.
418
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,594
Powerful.
419
00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:33,663
Faithful.
420
00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:37,734
He just turned out to be
another mid-level asshole.
421
00:25:37,903 --> 00:25:40,371
And that makes me
Mrs. Mid-level Asshole.
422
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:43,975
-That's why I'll never marry.
-No, you just fuck the married...
423
00:25:44,142 --> 00:25:46,474
...and then I have to watch it on video.
424
00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:50,647
Now I have to fucking deal with it,
and I don't like dealing with things.
425
00:25:50,815 --> 00:25:54,842
I'd much prefer to pretend
they don't exist.
426
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:56,953
I'm sorry.
427
00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:59,356
You're a big whore.
428
00:26:01,826 --> 00:26:05,887
-I think I should go now.
-Oh, sit your flat ass back down.
429
00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:10,694
-You know, you're a good listener.
-Thanks.
430
00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:13,531
Fuck you.
Let's get another round.
431
00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:34,382
Hey, Nancy!
432
00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:39,757
Where's your--?
433
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:41,694
Where's your ring?
434
00:26:42,801 --> 00:26:44,029
My ring?
435
00:26:44,202 --> 00:26:47,365
Yeah, your pretty
little diamond ring.
436
00:26:49,507 --> 00:26:50,735
It's in the shop.
437
00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,742
Well, I hope they can fix it.
438
00:26:55,814 --> 00:26:59,215
Yes. Me too, Celia.
439
00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:01,682
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
440
00:27:21,106 --> 00:27:23,472
We can fix this.
Everything's gonna be okay, buddy.
441
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,303
You got that, Mom?
442
00:27:26,411 --> 00:27:28,140
Dad made it all--
443
00:27:42,060 --> 00:27:43,288
Mom.
444
00:27:43,461 --> 00:27:45,019
Yeah, honey, what is it?
445
00:27:45,196 --> 00:27:46,959
What happened?
446
00:27:51,703 --> 00:27:53,933
I guess when you fell,
the camera got smashed.
447
00:27:56,741 --> 00:27:58,572
Yeah.
448
00:27:58,743 --> 00:28:01,769
Yeah, I guess that's what happened.
449
00:28:02,981 --> 00:28:05,506
Don't worry, we'll get another one.
450
00:28:07,218 --> 00:28:08,446
Okay.
451
00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:22,564
Ambien?
452
00:28:23,668 --> 00:28:25,499
Take them. You need rest.
453
00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:28,969
-What are you gonna do?
-Nothing.
454
00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:30,607
Really.
455
00:28:30,775 --> 00:28:33,243
I'm not going to do a thing.
456
00:28:35,180 --> 00:28:38,672
Look, I'll take one myself.
457
00:28:46,024 --> 00:28:47,787
See?
458
00:28:50,161 --> 00:28:51,253
Night.
459
00:29:04,042 --> 00:29:06,237
I am your father, Shane.
460
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,641
Join me on the dark side,
and together...
461
00:29:08,813 --> 00:29:11,373
-...we can rule the universe.
-Never!
462
00:29:11,549 --> 00:29:14,643
-Then prepare to die!
-No!
463
00:29:19,657 --> 00:29:22,785
Get back in here right now.
We are not done talking.
464
00:29:22,961 --> 00:29:25,953
Just say goodnight, Dad,
and shut off the camera.
465
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:29,858
Goodnight, Dad.
36728
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