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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,529 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:06,397 Yes, mom. 3 00:00:06,432 --> 00:00:08,598 Mm-hmm. 4 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,400 Mom, it'll take a minute. 5 00:00:10,435 --> 00:00:13,269 I'll knock on the door, you'll open the door, 6 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,439 sign three copies of a contract, 7 00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,073 we'll say something nice to each other, 8 00:00:17,107 --> 00:00:19,175 and then in a week, you'll get a check, 9 00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:22,579 and our lawn-care business will be history. 10 00:00:22,613 --> 00:00:25,381 No, that does not mean that I'm bringing Tara. 11 00:00:25,415 --> 00:00:26,716 I promise. 12 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:29,017 Love you, too, Sandy. 13 00:00:29,052 --> 00:00:31,086 Okay, Tara sends her love. 14 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,289 Okay. I'll see you tomorrow. 15 00:00:34,324 --> 00:00:36,492 I'm hanging up now. 16 00:00:36,526 --> 00:00:37,960 No, mom, you hang up first. 17 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:38,994 [ Scoffs ] 18 00:00:39,028 --> 00:00:39,995 Okay. Bye. 19 00:00:40,029 --> 00:00:41,062 [ Telephone beeps ] 20 00:00:41,096 --> 00:00:42,697 Oh, sweet holy fuck. 21 00:00:42,732 --> 00:00:44,699 It's been two years since I've talked to that woman, 22 00:00:44,734 --> 00:00:48,570 and in 10 minutes, she turns me into a fucking lunatic. 23 00:00:48,604 --> 00:00:51,205 She's an artist that way. 24 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,674 [ Sighing ] Oh, God. 25 00:00:52,708 --> 00:00:54,743 Please tell me you're looking at porn. 26 00:00:54,777 --> 00:00:57,778 Well, if porn is a disastrous baby shower, 27 00:00:57,812 --> 00:00:59,346 then...yeah. 28 00:00:59,381 --> 00:01:00,848 Big-time porn. 29 00:01:00,882 --> 00:01:02,182 What do you mean? Nobody's gonna come? 30 00:01:02,216 --> 00:01:03,717 Well, you'll be there. I'll be there. 31 00:01:03,752 --> 00:01:05,619 If you can get your mom out of her cave, 32 00:01:05,653 --> 00:01:07,454 that makes...six. 33 00:01:07,489 --> 00:01:09,055 That ain't happenin'. 34 00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:11,792 Aren't you supposed to be studying right now? 35 00:01:11,826 --> 00:01:12,992 I'm doing both. 36 00:01:13,026 --> 00:01:16,362 I'm being a scholar and a good sister. 37 00:01:16,397 --> 00:01:19,665 And a mom whose daughter is abandoning her in the morning. 38 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:20,800 [ Inhales sharply ] 39 00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:22,568 I'm having trouble with that. 40 00:01:22,603 --> 00:01:25,605 Yeah, some big changes on Oak Avenue. 41 00:01:25,639 --> 00:01:27,373 Come on. 42 00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:31,510 The flighty 19-year-old in Japan. 43 00:01:31,544 --> 00:01:35,980 We are either terrible parents or...visionary parents. 44 00:01:36,015 --> 00:01:37,148 I don't know. 45 00:01:37,182 --> 00:01:39,751 Mm, little of both. 46 00:01:39,786 --> 00:01:41,686 And sleep. 47 00:01:43,989 --> 00:01:45,856 [ Groans ] 48 00:01:48,827 --> 00:01:50,795 [ Alarm beeping ] 49 00:01:50,829 --> 00:01:52,162 [ Beeping stops ] Mm. 50 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,364 Kate: "Dear parentals, sibling, and preggie aunt. 51 00:01:54,399 --> 00:01:56,667 "I know we all agreed on a kiss and cry this morning, 52 00:01:56,701 --> 00:01:58,402 "but I couldn't do it. 53 00:01:58,437 --> 00:02:00,237 "I wouldn't have made it out the door, 54 00:02:00,271 --> 00:02:02,238 "and I wouldn't have been able to say what I wanted to say, 55 00:02:02,272 --> 00:02:04,841 "which is...This, that, and the other thing. 56 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,443 "First, the this... 57 00:02:06,477 --> 00:02:08,812 "Thank you for putting up with my shameful ass 58 00:02:08,846 --> 00:02:10,012 "this past year. 59 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,915 "I sucked and you ruled, 60 00:02:11,949 --> 00:02:14,216 "and your patience has been super-appreciated. 61 00:02:14,251 --> 00:02:16,218 "Second, the that... 62 00:02:16,253 --> 00:02:18,053 "I love you. 63 00:02:18,087 --> 00:02:20,155 "I don't say that nearly as much as I want to 64 00:02:20,189 --> 00:02:24,025 "or as much as you, you, you, and you deserve to hear it. 65 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,194 "You are the best people in Kansas 66 00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:27,996 "and, I suspect, the whole world, 67 00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:31,266 "but I'll make my final report after I've seen more of it. 68 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:33,367 "Last, the other thing... 69 00:02:33,401 --> 00:02:35,937 "A word to my soon-to-be niece. 70 00:02:35,971 --> 00:02:37,171 "I am sorry I won't be there 71 00:02:37,205 --> 00:02:38,840 "to see you tear open your mom's junk, 72 00:02:38,874 --> 00:02:41,275 "but I promise to be back before you can walk. 73 00:02:41,309 --> 00:02:44,011 "In the meantime, tell Marshall to dump Lionel, 74 00:02:44,045 --> 00:02:46,146 "your mom to say yes the next time your dad asks, 75 00:02:46,181 --> 00:02:48,248 "and your uncle and aunt not to worry about me. 76 00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:50,951 "I'm finally using my powers for good! 77 00:02:50,985 --> 00:02:53,286 "Osaka kara skibaru shigeru yol! 78 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,790 "Roughly translated... I will e-mail you from Osaka. 79 00:02:56,824 --> 00:02:59,759 Your daughter, sister, niece, and favorite cousin, Kate." 80 00:02:59,794 --> 00:03:01,728 [ Sighs ] Well, that's bullshit! 81 00:03:01,762 --> 00:03:03,262 You didn't see her go? 82 00:03:03,297 --> 00:03:06,832 I found it on the kitchen table, next to her house key. 83 00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,266 The girl wanted out. 84 00:03:08,301 --> 00:03:09,267 What a selfish little... 85 00:03:09,302 --> 00:03:10,369 Don't say it, mom. 86 00:03:10,403 --> 00:03:11,704 Bitch. Thank you. 87 00:03:11,738 --> 00:03:14,106 I think the letter's sincere. 88 00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:15,608 Well, it doesn't matter if it's sincere. 89 00:03:15,642 --> 00:03:16,876 I'm her mother. I get a goodbye. 90 00:03:16,910 --> 00:03:18,711 Well, she's taking a big risk, 91 00:03:18,745 --> 00:03:20,745 and... and... and she needs our support, 92 00:03:20,779 --> 00:03:23,548 in absentia or otherwise. 93 00:03:23,582 --> 00:03:25,416 We should say something kind... 94 00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:26,584 All of us. 95 00:03:28,387 --> 00:03:29,921 [ Clears throat ] 96 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:33,725 I'll go first. 97 00:03:33,759 --> 00:03:38,361 Sis, I am completely, utterly, totally impressed. 98 00:03:38,396 --> 00:03:39,630 It's gonna be amazing. 99 00:03:41,499 --> 00:03:45,002 Thank you for doing the dishes last night. 100 00:03:45,036 --> 00:03:46,469 Good luck. 101 00:03:46,504 --> 00:03:48,304 Yachimae. 102 00:03:49,641 --> 00:03:51,842 It means "kick some ass" in Japanese. 103 00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:52,942 [ Laughing ] Nice. 104 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,711 Tara. 105 00:03:59,249 --> 00:04:01,717 Come back soon. 106 00:04:01,752 --> 00:04:03,385 Don't fall in love. 107 00:04:04,888 --> 00:04:07,189 [ Voice breaking ] And I love... 108 00:04:07,223 --> 00:04:08,757 See? See? This is fucked up. 109 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,291 She wants tears, she can... 110 00:04:10,411 --> 00:04:11,811 Take this from me. 111 00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:22,103 Woman on P.A.: This is a smoke-free facility. 112 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:25,172 Solicitations inside the terminal building are prohibited. 113 00:04:25,206 --> 00:04:26,941 Where are you headed? 114 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:30,044 Business in Chicago... By way of St. Louis. 115 00:04:30,078 --> 00:04:31,478 St. Louis? Me too. 116 00:04:31,512 --> 00:04:33,080 Same flight... St. Louis to San Francisco, 117 00:04:33,114 --> 00:04:36,016 San Francisco to Osaka... Osaka, Japan. 118 00:04:36,051 --> 00:04:37,117 Oh. 119 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,786 You know, Osaka is a lot like Chicago. 120 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,253 It's a real economic juggernaut. 121 00:04:40,288 --> 00:04:41,721 2 1/2 million people live there, 122 00:04:41,755 --> 00:04:43,355 and in the morning, another million commute there for work. 123 00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:44,824 It melts the mind, don't it? 124 00:04:44,858 --> 00:04:46,425 I'm going there to teach English. 125 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,426 That's something. 126 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:48,461 Mm-hmm. 127 00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:49,629 I know that you don't know me, 128 00:04:49,663 --> 00:04:51,363 but if you would have met me even a month ago, 129 00:04:51,398 --> 00:04:52,632 you wouldn't believe it. 130 00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:56,668 I was an f-u-c-k-i-n-g wreck! 131 00:04:56,703 --> 00:04:57,869 Pardon my Japanese. 132 00:04:57,904 --> 00:04:59,071 But now look at me. 133 00:04:59,105 --> 00:05:02,474 Kansas City to Kansai International Airport. 134 00:05:02,508 --> 00:05:04,442 That's the name of it... Kansai. Right? 135 00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:05,877 Oh! 136 00:05:05,912 --> 00:05:08,614 This little man-made island with terminals and some runways 137 00:05:08,648 --> 00:05:09,748 surrounded by water, 138 00:05:09,782 --> 00:05:11,516 and Kansas City surrounded by land. 139 00:05:11,550 --> 00:05:13,718 And... and me, launched in between the two, 140 00:05:13,752 --> 00:05:15,219 like a little nerf football. 141 00:05:15,253 --> 00:05:18,422 It's...fated, magical, isn't it? 142 00:05:18,456 --> 00:05:19,790 You said Osaka, right? 143 00:05:19,825 --> 00:05:21,425 Yes. 144 00:05:21,459 --> 00:05:23,728 Reporter: We have been able to receive footage from security... 145 00:05:23,762 --> 00:05:26,263 Woman on P.A.: Skykans flight 484 for St. Louis, Missouri, 146 00:05:26,297 --> 00:05:27,531 now boarding royale class 147 00:05:27,565 --> 00:05:28,999 and members of our elite Kloudklimbers Klub. 148 00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:34,170 Uhhhhhhhhhhh... 149 00:05:34,204 --> 00:05:36,006 Vanilla bean, pumpkin, 150 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,108 pumpkin spice, chocolate. 151 00:05:38,142 --> 00:05:40,510 Chocolate banana, chocolate churro. 152 00:05:40,544 --> 00:05:43,613 There's a little churro inside. 153 00:05:43,648 --> 00:05:45,014 How cute is that! 154 00:05:45,048 --> 00:05:46,381 Uh-huh. [ Laughs ] 155 00:05:46,415 --> 00:05:48,550 I can do the same thing with a red-velvet cake 156 00:05:48,584 --> 00:05:50,485 with a little peppermint in the center, 157 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,220 kind of like a little fetus in a womb... 158 00:05:52,255 --> 00:05:53,622 you know, it being a shower and all. 159 00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,590 Ooh! That would be fantastic! 160 00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:56,725 What do you think? 161 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,827 You know, I think I have a class in half an hour. 162 00:05:58,862 --> 00:06:00,262 I'm sorry. 163 00:06:01,463 --> 00:06:03,430 How many people at your party? 164 00:06:03,465 --> 00:06:04,666 Around 30. Less than 10. 165 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,801 No, "no responses" are not nos. It doesn't matter. 166 00:06:06,835 --> 00:06:08,569 Just get whatever you want. Can we just move it along? 167 00:06:08,603 --> 00:06:10,571 You heard the put-upon sister. Add it up, Mike. 168 00:06:10,605 --> 00:06:11,639 It's "Michelle." 169 00:06:11,674 --> 00:06:13,440 I'm finishing my degree, big exams next week, 170 00:06:13,475 --> 00:06:16,210 and I am feeling the pressure to ace them all. 171 00:06:16,244 --> 00:06:17,778 Neil's in Missouri looking for work. 172 00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,445 The shower is on Sunday. You promised. 173 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,981 "Oh, my God. I fucked up your wedding. 174 00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:23,050 Let me make it up to you"... That's what she said. 175 00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,417 It's been Michelle for over a year. 176 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,787 I know the shower's on Sunday. I'm here. I am helping, okay? 177 00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:27,988 Am I not helping, Michelle? 178 00:06:28,022 --> 00:06:29,656 Thank you. Thank you. 179 00:06:29,691 --> 00:06:31,591 Yeah, if your idea of helping is sighing at the florist, 180 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,559 grunting at the party store, 181 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,260 rolling your eyes every time Mike... Michelle... 182 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:36,696 [ sighs ] Sorry. 183 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,798 Every time Michelle here does his... her... 184 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,132 I'm sorry. You need to change the box. 185 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,633 I know. 186 00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,903 ...To show me my dessert options, yeah, I mean, if your idea of help 187 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,706 is sending out a group e-mail to a guest list that I provided 188 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,574 and then following that up with a morning 189 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:51,642 [ distorted ] of passive-aggressive companionship, well, then, yes. 190 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,444 [ Normal voice ] You're helper of the year, Tara. 191 00:06:53,478 --> 00:06:55,880 [ As Alice ] Cupcakes are a nifty little snack. 192 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:59,517 But that's all they really are, aren't they... snacks? 193 00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:02,854 Tell me, what do you have in the way of layer cakes? 194 00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:04,422 Fascinating. 195 00:07:04,456 --> 00:07:05,456 [ Doorbell rings ] 196 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:06,990 Sandy: Coming. Coming. I'm coming. 197 00:07:07,025 --> 00:07:08,859 Is that my Maxi-million? 198 00:07:08,893 --> 00:07:10,994 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 199 00:07:11,029 --> 00:07:12,663 Well, look at that. Look at you. 200 00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:14,732 Look who went and got even taller. 201 00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:17,067 Same height, ma. How you doing? 202 00:07:17,102 --> 00:07:18,202 Oh, fine. Fine. 203 00:07:18,236 --> 00:07:20,137 Those the papers you want me to sign? Yep. 204 00:07:20,171 --> 00:07:23,340 Okay, so, can you go put them through the mail slot here? 205 00:07:23,374 --> 00:07:24,507 Down here. 206 00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:26,509 [ Gruff voice ] Hello, belt. Hello, pants. 207 00:07:26,544 --> 00:07:28,678 I love getting mail. Feed me! Feed me. 208 00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:29,847 [ Giggles ] 209 00:07:29,881 --> 00:07:31,180 [ Normal voice ] I do that to the mailman. 210 00:07:31,215 --> 00:07:33,482 He gets a kick out of it. Some kind of Arab fellow. 211 00:07:33,516 --> 00:07:35,417 Oh, I like this pen. 212 00:07:35,452 --> 00:07:37,519 I could use the bathroom, ma. 213 00:07:37,554 --> 00:07:38,955 I think I have the same kind of pen. 214 00:07:38,989 --> 00:07:40,757 I get my pens at target. 215 00:07:42,226 --> 00:07:44,127 Ma, come on. Give me a hug. 216 00:07:44,161 --> 00:07:45,928 Not so many Arabs at the target. 217 00:07:45,963 --> 00:07:49,164 I-I'm not sure why they're all at the post office. 218 00:07:49,198 --> 00:07:52,634 Oh. You were not that tall last time. 219 00:07:52,668 --> 00:07:54,202 Maybe you're shrinking. 220 00:07:54,237 --> 00:07:55,303 Bones on bones? 221 00:07:55,337 --> 00:07:57,272 Bones on bones. 222 00:07:57,306 --> 00:07:59,241 [ Chuckles ] 223 00:07:59,275 --> 00:08:00,809 How we doing with the house, ma? 224 00:08:00,843 --> 00:08:03,177 Okay. Here... here you go. 225 00:08:03,211 --> 00:08:05,646 Okay, I just got to use the restroom. 226 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,915 There's a good one by the sunoco. 227 00:08:07,949 --> 00:08:10,184 You didn't say you would need the bathroom when you called the other day. 228 00:08:10,218 --> 00:08:11,451 Oh, ma. 229 00:08:12,754 --> 00:08:14,521 See? 230 00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:16,490 Same pen. 231 00:08:16,524 --> 00:08:18,292 [ Pen clicking ] 232 00:08:18,326 --> 00:08:20,860 A handwritten invitation on proper stationery 233 00:08:20,895 --> 00:08:23,129 along with a pre-stamped RSVP, 234 00:08:23,164 --> 00:08:25,698 licked by the lips and sent off in the mail. 235 00:08:25,732 --> 00:08:27,500 That's how it should have been handled. 236 00:08:27,534 --> 00:08:29,368 An e-mail invitation? Tsk-tsk. 237 00:08:29,403 --> 00:08:31,504 I wouldn't send that to a dog. 238 00:08:31,538 --> 00:08:33,039 I told her it was fine. 239 00:08:33,073 --> 00:08:34,607 But you didn't think It was fine. 240 00:08:34,641 --> 00:08:37,375 Well, no, but, you know, she's got all her school stuff, 241 00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:39,111 and I know that's making her happy, and... 242 00:08:39,145 --> 00:08:40,813 School happens five days a week. 243 00:08:40,847 --> 00:08:43,481 A baby shower comes along but once in a very blue moon. 244 00:08:43,516 --> 00:08:47,186 As I see it, priorities are at 6s and 7s. 245 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,554 I'd rather have Tara. 246 00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,555 No offense, I'm sure. 247 00:08:51,589 --> 00:08:53,157 And none taken. [ Scoffs ] 248 00:08:53,192 --> 00:08:56,627 Tara is the sister, I know... 249 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,863 Even though she's not acting like one at the moment. 250 00:08:58,897 --> 00:09:01,365 Well, Kate leaving probably has something to do with it, too. 251 00:09:01,399 --> 00:09:03,567 Oh, you raise them as best you can, 252 00:09:03,601 --> 00:09:07,337 and then they toss you aside, like last season's handbag. 253 00:09:07,371 --> 00:09:10,473 Poor Tara. Her heart is in pieces. 254 00:09:11,575 --> 00:09:14,077 Well, it's probably good she took a few hours off, then. 255 00:09:14,111 --> 00:09:15,411 Mm. That's what we think. 256 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,447 "We"? 257 00:09:17,481 --> 00:09:20,317 All of us on the inside. We have an arrangement. 258 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,551 It's like that new film 259 00:09:21,585 --> 00:09:23,719 with Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine. 260 00:09:23,753 --> 00:09:26,322 We each take the key when we need the apartment. 261 00:09:26,356 --> 00:09:28,657 I get the body when the mother needs help. 262 00:09:28,691 --> 00:09:30,459 You're my helper? 263 00:09:30,493 --> 00:09:32,561 Mm-hmm. If you'll have me. 264 00:09:32,595 --> 00:09:34,796 Ooh, she's kicking. 265 00:09:34,831 --> 00:09:36,431 You want to feel? 266 00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:38,234 Oh. 267 00:09:47,910 --> 00:09:49,244 Now, now. 268 00:09:49,278 --> 00:09:50,711 I need to get back to these bags. 269 00:09:50,746 --> 00:09:51,812 She doesn't want to kick for me. 270 00:09:51,847 --> 00:09:53,614 Wait for it. Wait for it. 271 00:09:53,648 --> 00:09:55,749 Oh! 272 00:09:57,285 --> 00:09:59,386 [ As Tara ] Ohh. What time is it? 273 00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:00,888 Shit! 274 00:10:00,922 --> 00:10:02,389 I'm missing my class, 275 00:10:02,423 --> 00:10:04,124 and I'm gonna be late for my study group. 276 00:10:04,158 --> 00:10:06,159 Charmaine, I can't believe this. You knew I had a class. 277 00:10:06,194 --> 00:10:07,560 Don't you dare! 278 00:10:07,595 --> 00:10:09,263 Shit! Shit! Shit! 279 00:10:09,297 --> 00:10:10,897 Keys! 280 00:10:12,232 --> 00:10:13,232 Fuck! 281 00:10:14,434 --> 00:10:16,202 Fuck. 282 00:10:17,204 --> 00:10:19,038 It's an act of God. I get that. 283 00:10:19,072 --> 00:10:21,908 We have tornadoes here, too. They're no fun, either. 284 00:10:21,942 --> 00:10:24,277 Yeah, well, I figured that the flight would be delayed, 285 00:10:24,311 --> 00:10:26,345 but how long until the school can... 286 00:10:27,713 --> 00:10:30,782 A month? No! I can't wait a month! 287 00:10:30,816 --> 00:10:32,150 No! No, no, no! 288 00:10:32,184 --> 00:10:33,651 Universe conspiring against her? 289 00:10:33,685 --> 00:10:34,819 Uggggh! 290 00:10:34,853 --> 00:10:37,755 Hey, 200 people died. This may not be about Kate. 291 00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:40,125 Do you have any cities 292 00:10:40,159 --> 00:10:42,660 that you need English-speaking teachers? 293 00:10:42,694 --> 00:10:44,261 Hiroshima? 294 00:10:44,296 --> 00:10:46,997 Maybe Kate brings death and destruction wherever she walks. 295 00:10:47,032 --> 00:10:48,832 Any cities that we haven't a-bombed? 296 00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:51,435 Hey, your mom uses the half-finger flip. 297 00:10:51,469 --> 00:10:52,803 She uses full. 298 00:10:52,837 --> 00:10:53,870 You? 299 00:10:53,905 --> 00:10:54,871 No, I'm full. 300 00:10:54,906 --> 00:10:56,473 Yeah, me too. Feels better. 301 00:10:56,507 --> 00:10:57,908 [ Sighs ] 302 00:10:57,943 --> 00:10:59,175 Mm-hmm. 303 00:10:59,209 --> 00:11:02,178 Hey, babe, how come you use the half-finger flip? 304 00:11:02,212 --> 00:11:03,313 Ohhhhh. 305 00:11:03,347 --> 00:11:05,348 Oh, my God. Kate! 306 00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:07,817 Osaka. 307 00:11:07,851 --> 00:11:09,618 Ohhhh. 308 00:11:09,653 --> 00:11:10,619 Kate killed them. 309 00:11:10,654 --> 00:11:11,887 [ Kate whimpers ] 310 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,522 How was school? 311 00:11:13,557 --> 00:11:14,990 [ Sighs ] 312 00:11:15,024 --> 00:11:17,025 There were 20 people in my study group. 313 00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:19,894 They all wanted to be there to see the freak-lady transition. 314 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,463 Did you? 315 00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:23,498 Buck wanted out, but I knocked him back. 316 00:11:23,532 --> 00:11:25,733 How was it with Sandy? 317 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,970 She signed. Sold the company. 318 00:11:28,004 --> 00:11:29,972 Marsh and I are gonna go over there tomorrow. 319 00:11:30,006 --> 00:11:31,372 [ Yawning ] Has it gotten worse? 320 00:11:31,406 --> 00:11:34,141 My mother is buried in garbage. 321 00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:35,843 Niigata? Great. 322 00:11:35,877 --> 00:11:38,446 Yes. You're sending it over right now? 323 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,314 You guys are the greatest! 324 00:11:40,349 --> 00:11:41,648 Mwah! 325 00:11:41,683 --> 00:11:43,484 [ Telephone beeps ] Oh! Yes! 326 00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:45,286 Flying out tomorrow. 327 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,587 Hi, mom. 328 00:11:46,621 --> 00:11:48,455 "Hi, mom"? 329 00:11:48,489 --> 00:11:50,357 I'm sorry that I snuck out. 330 00:11:50,391 --> 00:11:52,959 I'm a coward. I'm sorry. 331 00:11:52,994 --> 00:11:55,128 Hey, maybe you ought to wait the month. 332 00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:57,430 No! It's go or die, dad. Go or die. 333 00:11:57,465 --> 00:11:59,299 Hey, where is Niigata? 334 00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:01,734 I don't care. Somewhere in Japan. 335 00:12:01,768 --> 00:12:03,803 Oh, so you're going to kill again? 336 00:12:03,837 --> 00:12:05,771 That's full-finger "fuck you." Yours is wimpy. 337 00:12:05,806 --> 00:12:09,509 Hey, this is "fuck you." That was just a finger. 338 00:12:09,543 --> 00:12:10,843 Where are you going? 339 00:12:10,878 --> 00:12:12,678 To bed. To sleep. 340 00:12:12,713 --> 00:12:14,547 Perhaps to dream. 341 00:12:14,581 --> 00:12:16,215 Good night, men. 342 00:12:16,249 --> 00:12:18,618 Daughter, you sneak away from me a second time... 343 00:12:18,652 --> 00:12:20,886 I won't. I love you. 344 00:12:23,389 --> 00:12:27,158 [ Wearily ] I have earned my bed. 345 00:12:27,192 --> 00:12:30,762 I have earned my pajamas. 346 00:12:30,796 --> 00:12:32,764 Oh, pajamas are too far away. 347 00:12:32,798 --> 00:12:35,400 Fuck you, pajamas. 348 00:12:35,434 --> 00:12:39,837 Back of head, your best friend... 349 00:12:39,871 --> 00:12:41,839 The pillow. 350 00:12:44,475 --> 00:12:47,310 [ As Buck ] Try and hold me down, woman? 351 00:12:47,345 --> 00:12:48,646 I think not! 352 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:49,847 [ Sniffs ] 353 00:12:49,881 --> 00:12:52,015 [ Pounding on door ] 354 00:12:52,049 --> 00:12:54,417 Bryce Craine! I know you're in there! 355 00:12:54,451 --> 00:12:55,752 Open up! 356 00:12:57,021 --> 00:12:59,288 Bryce Craine, son of Frank Craine, 357 00:12:59,322 --> 00:13:00,489 born December... 358 00:13:01,592 --> 00:13:02,759 Who the hell are you?! 359 00:13:04,628 --> 00:13:06,062 Oh, fuck it. 360 00:13:13,903 --> 00:13:15,537 I'm gonna miss you. 361 00:13:15,572 --> 00:13:17,505 Oh! Pay up, people. 362 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:19,507 Who bet against me? 363 00:13:19,542 --> 00:13:20,976 Oh, everybody. 364 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,444 I'm so sorry, sweetheart. 365 00:13:22,478 --> 00:13:25,012 Buck won big at the reservation. 366 00:13:25,047 --> 00:13:28,182 Here. I mean, I don't know if you can use these in Japan, but... 367 00:13:28,216 --> 00:13:30,051 Okay, do you have your passport? 368 00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:31,218 Yes. 369 00:13:31,252 --> 00:13:32,587 We have an address, phone number for you? 370 00:13:32,621 --> 00:13:33,988 Mm-hmm. 371 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,156 Yes. I went over everything with dad. 372 00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,960 It's been checked, triple-checked. 373 00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:42,562 Mom, it's okay. 374 00:13:42,597 --> 00:13:45,398 Just make sure you come back soon. 375 00:13:45,432 --> 00:13:47,300 Oh, I love you so much. 376 00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:48,735 [ Chuckles ] 377 00:13:48,769 --> 00:13:51,170 [ Sighs ] 378 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,373 I cried the first time. I'm too tired. 379 00:13:54,408 --> 00:13:56,308 And you smell like a mop factory. 380 00:13:56,342 --> 00:13:58,077 Fair enough. 381 00:13:58,111 --> 00:14:00,545 Ohhh. All right, family. [ Laughs ] 382 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,681 Here I go. 383 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:06,051 Niigata kara mehru shigeru yol. 384 00:14:06,086 --> 00:14:07,319 [ Laughs ] 385 00:14:07,353 --> 00:14:09,989 Bye. 386 00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:14,125 A note from Buck would have been nice. 387 00:14:14,159 --> 00:14:16,527 Well, that's not really Buck's style, is it? 388 00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:17,929 Not a satisfying answer. 389 00:14:17,963 --> 00:14:20,932 Honey, I got carjack... bodyjacked. 390 00:14:20,966 --> 00:14:23,367 I got jacked. 391 00:14:23,401 --> 00:14:25,236 Off to Sandy's. 392 00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:26,871 Get some sleep, mom. 393 00:14:28,405 --> 00:14:30,273 Don't even think about it. 394 00:14:30,307 --> 00:14:31,842 What? I have a test Tuesday. 395 00:14:31,876 --> 00:14:34,111 I have a shower tomorrow. You promised. 396 00:14:34,145 --> 00:14:35,512 Drop the cards. 397 00:14:35,546 --> 00:14:37,147 Coffee's in the kitchen. 398 00:14:37,181 --> 00:14:39,215 Let's go. Let's go. 399 00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,250 Come on. 400 00:14:40,284 --> 00:14:42,318 [ Max sighs ] 401 00:14:42,353 --> 00:14:44,419 [ Clatter ] 402 00:14:46,456 --> 00:14:48,090 Sandy: Maxie. 403 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,562 Maxie. You said you were only taking your things. 404 00:14:53,596 --> 00:14:56,032 I'm just making space, ma. That's all I'm doing. 405 00:14:56,066 --> 00:14:57,800 What's Beaverlamp? 406 00:14:57,834 --> 00:14:59,734 Your father's rock-'n'-roll band. 407 00:14:59,769 --> 00:15:02,070 Just... Would you keep packing? 408 00:15:03,873 --> 00:15:05,040 [ Animal yowls ] 409 00:15:06,776 --> 00:15:07,742 What is that? 410 00:15:07,777 --> 00:15:09,077 That's Nancy Grace, my new cat. 411 00:15:09,111 --> 00:15:11,379 That means he's ready for his medication. 412 00:15:11,413 --> 00:15:12,547 Glandular problem. 413 00:15:12,581 --> 00:15:14,282 Nancy Grace is a he? 414 00:15:14,316 --> 00:15:16,116 I named him before I saw he had a penis. 415 00:15:16,151 --> 00:15:18,052 Maxie... 416 00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:20,187 Don't throw those out. Your father loves those ducks. 417 00:15:20,221 --> 00:15:21,488 No, he doesn't. Yes, he does. 418 00:15:21,522 --> 00:15:22,589 He's not here. 419 00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:23,657 He's not here now. 420 00:15:23,692 --> 00:15:25,059 Guess what... He ain't coming back. 421 00:15:25,093 --> 00:15:26,960 Let go of that duck! 422 00:15:26,995 --> 00:15:28,729 You said you were taking your stuff! 423 00:15:28,763 --> 00:15:30,430 This is not your stuff! 424 00:15:30,464 --> 00:15:31,831 [ Sighs ] 425 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:32,932 Marsh, would you j... 426 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:33,966 I got it. 427 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,101 Grandma? 428 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,669 [ Sighs ] 429 00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:43,642 You are going to die in Kansas. 430 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,078 [ Laughs ] Delayed? 431 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,512 If it isn't an earthquake, 432 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,114 then it's a problem with the landing wheel. 433 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,648 Flying Skykans? 434 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,818 Just to Chicago. 435 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,285 Oh, God. You're beautiful. 436 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,687 "Problems with a landing wheel" 437 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,856 is Skykans code for "Our pilot's drunk." 438 00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,290 And thank you. 439 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,093 What's beyond Chicago? 440 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,560 Japan. 441 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:03,695 Oh. Teaching English? 442 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:06,163 Yeah. How did you know? 443 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,232 "Get me out of Kansas and my bear dress 444 00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:10,000 "before I immolate, see the world, 445 00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:11,969 "find my someplace perfect, 446 00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:15,305 and never move from that spot." 447 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,974 I was you once. 448 00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:19,576 Did you find your someplace perfect? 449 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:20,643 Still looking. 450 00:16:20,677 --> 00:16:22,278 Around the world three times, 451 00:16:22,312 --> 00:16:23,646 and they pay me to ponder it, 452 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,116 be it beach, balcony, or bedroom. 453 00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:27,416 [ Sighs ] 454 00:16:27,451 --> 00:16:28,818 What city in Japan? 455 00:16:28,853 --> 00:16:30,019 [ Sighs ] Niigata. 456 00:16:30,054 --> 00:16:31,054 Oh, dear. 457 00:16:31,088 --> 00:16:32,822 What do you mean, "Oh, dear"? 458 00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:34,991 I'm sure it's different now. 459 00:16:35,025 --> 00:16:36,559 What? What is that supposed to mean, different? 460 00:16:36,593 --> 00:16:37,560 What's in Niigata? 461 00:16:37,594 --> 00:16:39,228 Oh, hopefully, a swift life lesson 462 00:16:39,263 --> 00:16:41,731 and a bullet train back to Tokyo. 463 00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:50,806 ♪ Come over here, baby, and talk to me ♪ 464 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,340 ♪ sit yourself down on... ♪ 465 00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:54,409 You really like Christmas, huh? 466 00:16:54,443 --> 00:16:57,479 Makes me happier than anything in creation. 467 00:16:57,513 --> 00:17:00,982 People are nicer. Lights are brighter. 468 00:17:01,016 --> 00:17:02,717 Eggnog. 469 00:17:02,752 --> 00:17:04,886 Who doesn't like Christmas? 470 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,588 Jews, maybe? 471 00:17:06,622 --> 00:17:08,355 Well, they don't count. 472 00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:11,158 And there are more of us than there are of them, 473 00:17:11,192 --> 00:17:12,760 if you know what I mean. 474 00:17:12,794 --> 00:17:13,994 I think I do. 475 00:17:14,028 --> 00:17:15,628 ♪ ...You're the sweetest thing... ♪ 476 00:17:15,663 --> 00:17:17,196 [ Laughing ] Isn't it wonderful? 477 00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:20,300 How can they make a tree do that? 478 00:17:20,334 --> 00:17:21,467 I don't know. 479 00:17:21,502 --> 00:17:24,337 Batteries, power of Christ. 480 00:17:24,371 --> 00:17:26,472 What was that? 481 00:17:27,541 --> 00:17:29,475 I'm...sorry that we don't come 482 00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:31,743 and visit you more, grandma Sandy. 483 00:17:31,778 --> 00:17:33,445 Your dad doesn't like coming here, 484 00:17:33,479 --> 00:17:35,681 and I don't like to leave. 485 00:17:35,715 --> 00:17:39,050 And I need to be near my things. 486 00:17:39,084 --> 00:17:41,820 And I think he's angry 487 00:17:41,854 --> 00:17:43,355 that I didn't come to his wedding. 488 00:17:43,389 --> 00:17:44,656 He thinks I'm crazy. 489 00:17:44,691 --> 00:17:45,724 No, he doesn't. 490 00:17:45,758 --> 00:17:47,858 Mm, yes, he does. 491 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,460 And he's right. 492 00:17:49,494 --> 00:17:51,028 [ Nancy Grace yowls ] 493 00:17:51,062 --> 00:17:52,162 I know it. 494 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:55,299 Your dad is just like your grandfather. 495 00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:58,135 Best thing he did was get away from me. 496 00:17:58,169 --> 00:17:59,770 Hurt my bones so much 497 00:17:59,805 --> 00:18:01,806 when he found himself more of it. 498 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:06,810 Gregson boys just have to have them some crazy. 499 00:18:06,844 --> 00:18:08,244 That's my mom, you know. 500 00:18:08,278 --> 00:18:10,680 Well, we don't get to choose our parents. 501 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,148 [ Chuckles ] 502 00:18:14,017 --> 00:18:16,553 You have such soft hands for a boy. 503 00:18:19,522 --> 00:18:21,523 You're a gay, aren't you? 504 00:18:24,293 --> 00:18:25,694 I am. 505 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,630 How is that? 506 00:18:30,367 --> 00:18:32,568 It's like... 507 00:18:32,602 --> 00:18:34,603 Christmas every day. 508 00:18:36,037 --> 00:18:37,739 [ Chuckles lightly ] 509 00:18:37,773 --> 00:18:39,774 [ Song ends ] 510 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:49,183 We invited 53 people, and 6 are coming. 511 00:18:49,217 --> 00:18:50,351 11. 512 00:18:50,386 --> 00:18:52,118 No, not counting family, there's 6. 513 00:18:52,152 --> 00:18:53,653 6 out of 53. 514 00:18:53,688 --> 00:18:55,355 And how many of them bothered to say no? 515 00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:57,156 [ Sighs ] I don't know. You do know... 5. 516 00:18:57,191 --> 00:18:59,025 That leaves 42 "friends" 517 00:18:59,059 --> 00:19:00,927 who could not be bothered to respond. 518 00:19:00,961 --> 00:19:02,763 I mean, my math skills are awesome, 519 00:19:02,797 --> 00:19:04,431 and I have no-response friends. 520 00:19:04,465 --> 00:19:05,799 Oh, look... it's a supermarket. 521 00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:07,466 I mean, if you don't want to come to my shower, fine. 522 00:19:07,501 --> 00:19:08,868 Have the courage to announce it. 523 00:19:08,902 --> 00:19:10,135 Let's get in, and we'll get out. 524 00:19:10,169 --> 00:19:12,170 You expend the energy it takes to open an e-mail, 525 00:19:12,205 --> 00:19:14,172 move the cursor to the "no" box, click, and send. 526 00:19:14,207 --> 00:19:15,508 That's all I'm asking. 527 00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:17,175 Yeah, keep on kicking, kid. 528 00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:19,612 Your predetermined life of misery and disappointment 529 00:19:19,646 --> 00:19:21,280 is three weeks away. 530 00:19:21,314 --> 00:19:23,782 Mommy's friendless. Daddy's a jobless fatty. 531 00:19:23,816 --> 00:19:26,050 You'll be fat with no friends, too. 532 00:19:27,453 --> 00:19:28,553 [ Yawns ] 533 00:19:28,587 --> 00:19:29,621 Stop yawning. 534 00:19:30,856 --> 00:19:32,490 Are you gonna save anything? 535 00:19:32,525 --> 00:19:34,459 No. 536 00:19:34,493 --> 00:19:36,561 Is it okay if I keep some cassettes? 537 00:19:36,595 --> 00:19:38,329 And tapes? Is that okay? 538 00:19:38,363 --> 00:19:39,696 Yeah. 539 00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:45,001 Are you gonna tell me about Beaverlamp? 540 00:19:45,036 --> 00:19:47,070 Average beer band. 541 00:19:47,104 --> 00:19:48,439 Weird name. 542 00:19:48,473 --> 00:19:51,708 1989 runner-up, battle of the bands. 543 00:19:51,743 --> 00:19:53,410 Yeah, we lost to a rush cover band. 544 00:19:53,445 --> 00:19:56,879 That ought to tell you everything you need to know about Beaverlamp. 545 00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:01,383 I found this in the Christmas room. 546 00:20:01,418 --> 00:20:03,953 It doesn't have a name on it, so... 547 00:20:06,757 --> 00:20:08,658 [ Scoffs ] 548 00:20:08,692 --> 00:20:10,860 It's for my dad. 549 00:20:10,894 --> 00:20:13,995 No idea why she thought he liked these things. 550 00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:16,431 Twice a year, on Christmas and his birthday, 551 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,299 I'd watch his eyes glaze over, 552 00:20:18,334 --> 00:20:20,134 get that goddamn fake smile on, 553 00:20:20,169 --> 00:20:22,136 and say, "Thanks, hon. Just what I wanted." 554 00:20:22,171 --> 00:20:24,506 Bet you all the money I have, the day he left, 555 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:27,075 he took one look at that box, knew what was inside, 556 00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:30,010 and said, "Fuck this," and took off. 557 00:20:30,044 --> 00:20:31,812 You ever think about taking off? 558 00:20:38,453 --> 00:20:40,888 [ Clatter ] 559 00:20:40,922 --> 00:20:43,223 Kate: I told them that I graduated early with honors, 560 00:20:43,257 --> 00:20:44,390 but I took the G.E.D. 561 00:20:44,424 --> 00:20:46,292 I said that I got a 710 on the S.A.T. verbal. 562 00:20:46,326 --> 00:20:49,428 I I got a 510. Application's a snow job. 563 00:20:49,463 --> 00:20:51,598 I'm a cake-sitter, not an English teacher. 564 00:20:51,632 --> 00:20:53,967 What kind of company doesn't do a background check? 565 00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:56,569 I'm probably gonna end up with a bunch of American liars... 566 00:20:56,604 --> 00:20:58,571 people who are trying to escape their past... 567 00:20:58,606 --> 00:21:00,438 frauds, embezzlers, mafia hit men. 568 00:21:00,473 --> 00:21:02,975 I'm gonna end up chopped up and stuffed in a mattress, 569 00:21:03,009 --> 00:21:05,276 and that mattress is gonna end up in an opium den 570 00:21:05,311 --> 00:21:07,345 where businessmen and Mongolian prostitutes 571 00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:09,280 are going to have sex on top of me. 572 00:21:09,315 --> 00:21:10,782 Why did she say "Oh, dear"? 573 00:21:10,783 --> 00:21:12,350 Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry. Excuse me. 574 00:21:12,385 --> 00:21:13,886 Oh! That's my ass. Okay. Sorry. 575 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,587 Excuse m p pardon me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Sorry. 576 00:21:16,588 --> 00:21:17,889 [ Gasps ] 577 00:21:17,923 --> 00:21:19,223 Ma'am, is something wrong? 578 00:21:19,257 --> 00:21:20,925 Yes. That plane is going to Japan. 579 00:21:20,959 --> 00:21:22,727 Actually, it's going to St. Louis. 580 00:21:22,761 --> 00:21:24,962 Yeah, my bad. 581 00:21:24,997 --> 00:21:26,263 I mean... 582 00:21:26,297 --> 00:21:28,666 I don't know why I'm bringing her into the world. 583 00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,068 I will fail her. 584 00:21:31,102 --> 00:21:32,736 I will ruin her. 585 00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:33,803 Oh, Charmaine. 586 00:21:35,606 --> 00:21:37,440 And she'll run off to Japan with Kate, 587 00:21:37,508 --> 00:21:39,409 and we'll rot away in a retirement home 588 00:21:39,443 --> 00:21:41,711 waiting for a nurse to mercy-kill us. 589 00:21:41,746 --> 00:21:43,713 I mean, stay inside... 590 00:21:43,748 --> 00:21:46,049 Go back to being a sperm and an egg, 591 00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:49,151 because life and people and everything in between 592 00:21:49,185 --> 00:21:52,187 just suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck! 593 00:21:52,221 --> 00:21:55,658 Okay, this has been a long day... a long weekend, 594 00:21:55,692 --> 00:21:57,125 but this is the last stop. 595 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,427 I just want... 596 00:21:58,461 --> 00:22:01,163 There are 11 people coming to your shower. 597 00:22:01,197 --> 00:22:02,164 I know. 598 00:22:02,198 --> 00:22:03,898 11 people who love you dearly. 599 00:22:03,933 --> 00:22:05,633 One of them is Neil. 600 00:22:05,668 --> 00:22:07,602 In my gut, he comes home with a job, 601 00:22:07,636 --> 00:22:09,938 and he is gonna be a great and loving father. 602 00:22:09,972 --> 00:22:12,807 Just as you, my beautiful heart-first sister, 603 00:22:12,841 --> 00:22:15,443 is gonna be a great and loving mom. 604 00:22:15,477 --> 00:22:17,712 And if one day she joins Kate in Japan, 605 00:22:17,746 --> 00:22:19,047 you will be proud. 606 00:22:19,081 --> 00:22:21,682 And we will clasp our shriveled hands and die happy, 607 00:22:21,716 --> 00:22:24,250 knowing we brought fearless women into the world. 608 00:22:24,285 --> 00:22:26,352 But right now... 609 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,154 You are going to the produce section. 610 00:22:28,189 --> 00:22:30,356 You are going to place these items in your cart 611 00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:32,626 and meet me at the checkout, 612 00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:35,495 where we will pray my credit will be accepted. 613 00:22:35,529 --> 00:22:37,930 And when God, in her great glory, 614 00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:40,032 answers our discover card prayers... 615 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,667 [ Chuckles ] 616 00:22:41,702 --> 00:22:44,169 ...We will go back home, go to sleep, 617 00:22:44,204 --> 00:22:48,708 and wake up to another in a long line of great goddamn days. 618 00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:50,643 Are you with me? 619 00:22:50,677 --> 00:22:52,176 I love you. 620 00:22:52,211 --> 00:22:53,277 Ditto. 621 00:22:55,247 --> 00:22:57,248 [ Sighs ] Okay. 622 00:22:58,417 --> 00:23:00,251 Coffee. I can do that. 623 00:23:00,285 --> 00:23:02,087 [ Sniffles ] 624 00:23:02,121 --> 00:23:04,288 [ Muzak plays ] 625 00:23:10,294 --> 00:23:11,528 [ Sighs ] 626 00:23:11,562 --> 00:23:12,896 [ Sniffs ] 627 00:23:33,684 --> 00:23:34,751 [ Belches ] 628 00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:37,453 [ Tara laughs ] 629 00:23:37,487 --> 00:23:39,122 [ Clatter ] 630 00:23:39,156 --> 00:23:40,122 [ Laughs ] 631 00:23:40,156 --> 00:23:41,523 Tara? 632 00:23:41,557 --> 00:23:43,358 [ As T ] Cleanup in aisle 8, tubby! 633 00:23:43,392 --> 00:23:44,660 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 634 00:23:44,694 --> 00:23:45,694 T? 635 00:23:45,728 --> 00:23:47,029 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 636 00:23:47,063 --> 00:23:48,964 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 637 00:23:48,998 --> 00:23:50,032 No! 638 00:23:52,135 --> 00:23:53,969 Tara! You will not do this! 639 00:23:54,003 --> 00:23:55,037 Tara? 640 00:23:55,071 --> 00:23:56,103 [ Engine revs ] 641 00:23:56,138 --> 00:23:57,838 Tara? 642 00:23:57,873 --> 00:23:58,839 Tara! 643 00:23:58,874 --> 00:24:00,708 It's T! Fuck! 644 00:24:00,742 --> 00:24:03,477 And all eight months of you is in my way, so step aside. 645 00:24:03,511 --> 00:24:05,012 Thank you so much. Buh-bye. 646 00:24:05,047 --> 00:24:06,446 [ Horn honks ] 647 00:24:06,481 --> 00:24:09,016 Look, I know I pushed you to this. 648 00:24:09,051 --> 00:24:10,284 All right, it's my fault. 649 00:24:10,318 --> 00:24:12,852 I've been a raging hormonal victim bitch all day. 650 00:24:12,887 --> 00:24:14,187 Yeah, sounds about right. 651 00:24:14,221 --> 00:24:17,924 But I need you, T, to tell Tara to come back. 652 00:24:17,958 --> 00:24:18,925 [ Engine revs ] It's okay. 653 00:24:18,959 --> 00:24:19,926 Hey! 654 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,295 Hey, hey, hey! It's fat Albert! 655 00:24:22,329 --> 00:24:23,563 Why don't you just call a cab? 656 00:24:23,597 --> 00:24:24,964 You will not do this! 657 00:24:24,999 --> 00:24:26,933 You will not do this to me again! 658 00:24:26,967 --> 00:24:28,067 You will come back! 659 00:24:28,101 --> 00:24:30,069 You will beam up, you will tesseract, 660 00:24:30,103 --> 00:24:31,970 or whatever it is the fuck you do, 661 00:24:32,005 --> 00:24:33,906 but you will not do this to me again. 662 00:24:33,940 --> 00:24:34,907 [ Engine revs ] 663 00:24:34,941 --> 00:24:37,676 Use a condom next time, bitch! 664 00:24:37,711 --> 00:24:39,111 Ow. 665 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:40,145 Oh! 666 00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:41,279 What the fuck? 667 00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:42,447 [ Engine revs ] 668 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:43,915 No! 669 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:45,179 Oh, shit. 670 00:24:45,299 --> 00:24:48,384 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 671 00:24:48,434 --> 00:24:52,984 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 46928

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