All language subtitles for United States of Tara s01e11 Snow.eng

Previously on United States of Tara...

I think it might be time for
you to see another therapist.

You're breaking up with me?

We need her. Why'd she do that?

I mean, you are a handful, Tara.
What does that mean?

There's four of you. That's not
a relationship. It's an orgy.

I'm sorry, ma'am, but it's your sister.

Of course it is.
Tara.

Oh, my God.

Sounds like Gimme came out.

How many times do I have to tell you?
I don't know shit about that Gimme shit.

What the hell is that?

I saw it on your fridge,

and I couldn't resist.
You stole a picture from me?

You know, you might have
grounds for sexual harassment.

You should call HR.

To mother issues.

It wasn't bad, was it?
Wasn't bad at all.

You're Marshall's BF.

I'm not anybody's BF.

Marsh, man, I am... I am so sorry.

Marshall.

That wasn't me. I would never...

Hey.

Hello? The shed's on fire!

Holy shit!

Kate, get that other hose!

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We had a priest who used to give us gum balls

in the confessional at St. Anne's.

We'd be in there...

"Bless me, father, I cheated on my french test.",

or, "Bless me, father, I did whippits with a hot townie."

I mean, you couldn't phone it in,

but if you were really penitent

and Father Roger could feel the sorrow in your heart,

he'd hit you with some hail marys
and put a little gum ball in the slot.

Tell me that you know that was wrong, right?

A lot of ways to express yourself.

Dad, please don't send me to military school.

It's worse than that, pal. You're
going to regular-ass school.

Go get some clothes on.

But what if I see him?
Like I give a fuck.

Go get dressed for school.

That's absurd.

What's absurd?

Nothing.

Marshall.

It's okay that he's mad at me.

To tell you the truth,

I'm pretty mad at me right now, too.

She should be put away.

Shut your gob.

Seriously, what are we doing here?

We're just gonna treat it like a normal Tuesday

and act like nothing even happened?

Nobody's acting, Marsh, especially not your mom.

Right, because she's insane.

I mean, we're living so far off the map,

it's like early John Waters or something,

before Divine was even adorable.

He's kind of right, dad.

Do we need a plan or something?

I mean, maybe she should at
least be back on her meds.

I know it's messed up right now, okay?

But we're not gonna bail on her like Dr. Ocean

and all those other useless fucking doctors we dealt with.

She made a commitment to get off
her meds till she gets better, so...

It doesn't seem to be getting any better, dad.

In the words of police chief Martin
Brody, we need a bigger boat.

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help.

We need a bigger fucking boat.

Your hospitalization in 1989.

Yeah, I drove into the back of an ice cream truck.

Well, Buck did.

But that was before any
authenticated diagnosis, correct?

None of the doctors could figure it out.

Until they did,

we were just...

drowning.

Well, disassociation is...

Look, it's so tough.

I want to commend you for making your way here.

Yeah, I kind of had to.

We're just lucky my sister was able to watch the kids.

She's not gonna bring that new guy over
and sleep with him in our bed, is she?

Sorry.

So what can Tara expect from this?

Well, it's pretty straightforward.

Look, you... you can't get better
until you know what happened to you.

My program provides a two-week protected environment

where patients can really dig in.

Once we start breaking down
the walls between you and your alters,

you'll be able to get out of survival
mode and really start to live.

You'll have individual therapy with me, plus group therapy,

long-term-recovery planning, all sorts
of good stuff you'll find helpful.

I know I will.

Sounds good, huh?

And for you, too, Max.

Pardon?

I've found a 12-step model of family involvement

is effective for trauma recovery as well.

That was the moment I decided that
it's God's will that Marty's a multi,

so I better make me some lemonade.

And if I get him a CD for his birthday,

I'm pretty sure at least one of the alters will like it.

When I started disassociating after Iraq,

I seriously thought that everybody woke up

in strange hotel rooms with people they never met.

Don't they?

Since I was a child,

I always knew there was something
bizarre going on with my memory.

At least you can remember being a child.

I'm so jealous of people who
can really answer the question

"How was your day?"

Yeah, I used to turn it back on him really fast.

I'd be like, "Good, honey, how was yours?"

I got really good at hiding it.

My trauma happened when I was 16,

so I didn't start switching till after that, but

whenever I would come back from a transition,

I knew exactly how to cover and get by.

Yeah, we'll do almost anything to appear normal.

I don't remember what happened at boarding school, but

I do have vivid memories of a few weeks afterwards.

It was a month until summer break,
and I couldn't wait to get out.

I'm such a total summer person.

And I remember I wore my bathing
suit under my clothes every day.

And while everybody was going to
class and going on with their lives,

I just sat in my dorm window

waiting for summer to come.

Did it?

The next thing I remember...

is snow...

everywhere.

I was at my parents', and

six months had gone by in an instant.

And it was just...

white.

What'd you think of the snow?

It was...

I mean, not what I expected.

But it was beautiful.

I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry.

It's not your fault. I mean, my mom's a total freak show.

She's actually at a hospital for the criminally insane now.

She is?

I didn't even know they had hospitals
for the criminally insane anymore.

There's, like, one. It's outside of Chicago.

Anyway, my aunt's staying with
us, which I'm cool with, so...

So do you want...

I feel really bad about what happened.

I even talked to my dad about it.

Listen, I think you're the most
awesome kid in this school.

Remember me when you win your Oscar, okay?

So you really think you can get him to come out?

Some patients have an easier time

using hypnosis or sodium pentothal, but you...

You've been experiencing
co-consciousness, which indicates

permeability within your system.

I've never experienced co-consciousness with Gimme.

Well, what about the time when T.
hit on your son's friend?

I could see everything she was doing.

You know, I don't know what's worse...

Not knowing the shit you do or seeing
it and not being able to stop it.

Look, you can do this, Tara.

Once we can access the trauma by probing your alters,

and the odds are high that at least one of them knows,

then even if it's hard to watch,

you'll finally know.

Okay, let's hit it.

Okay.

So Mr. Stuart called you hot,

said your hair was too provocative for daytime.

Right.

Did Mr. Stuart ever make any requests for dates?

All the time.

He always wanted me to go to Brookstone
to check out the massage chairs.

That's not a date.

What?
It wouldn't hold up.

Look, Miss Gregson, if you're claiming sexual misconduct,

it has to be crystal clear the advances were unwelcome.

Of course they were.

The food-service industry is a hotbed of sexual impropriety.

It's basically institutionalized.

That's why people work at restaurants.

It's not uncommon for young waitresses

to develop feelings for their manager.

It's okay if you blew him.

Did you blow him?

No.

I didn't.

Miss... Miss Jackson,

I got this job to get some extra money,
because my mother is very, very sick.

I have much better things to do than...

than spend my time

being in a relationship with some
loser guy from loser Barnabeez.

No offense.

I've heard worse.

Shit.

Shit!

It's really okay.

It's not okay. What is wrong with me?

I was able to be co-conscious before I came here.

You've been through a lot.

It's been four days. Why isn't the hypnosis working?

There are some patients that don't respond.

How am I supposed to get to the truth and get better

if the alters won't come out and talk to you?

This is a process. They're not ready.

Tara, and to be fair to them, look, they just...

They just met me.

Well, I like you.

I trust you.

God, it's so

frustrating.

These alters, they use Tara's body as they please,

and then when Tara's out,

she spends all her time in a state of

guilty overdrive.
I'm sorry.

But you keep saying, "Tara this", and, "Tara that".

Aren't we supposed to keep
our sharing focused on ourselves?

That's right.
Yeah.

Like what's really going on deep down inside of you.

I don't know how that could help.

So how are you doing with your group stuff?

It's fantastic.

I'm learning a lot about myself.

Bullshit.

Oh, it's just a lot of useless yammering.

I thought I was gonna enjoy meeting
people in my situation, but...

Yeah, well, if it makes you feel any better,

I'm not having much luck bringing any of my alters out.

I thought this guy was the shit.

And at home, we can't get them to stay in.

Hey, it's the dude from
the picture you keep by your bed.

Is that Jenny? Hey.

Jenny's integrated.

Why are you whispering?

You know how some people aren't happy for you

when you've lost a bunch of weight?

That... that's amazing. How'd you do that?

Well...

A lot of time and hard work,

like what Tara's doing.

But it's doable, right? I mean, we can fix this.

It's not like taking me to the dry-cleaner's, Max.

I know.

I know it's a process. And Dr. Holden
said it's not gonna happen overnight.

I get it.

Just as long as it happens
before our insurance runs out.

Morning, fake mom.
"Mornseys".

Is fake dad still here?

No.

Guess what I did.

I didn't sleep with him.

I didn't let him sleep over,

and...

perhaps extended this lovely thing yet another day

by continuing to treat myself

like a special prize he has to win.

Oh, really?

So was it you or that special prize

that was having a screaming
orgasm at 1:30 in the morning?

You're imagining things.

He was long gone by then.

Oh, really?

I didn't let him sleep over.
Oh, my God!

I'm a slut.

Hello?
Hey, it's Max.

Hey, Max.

More Xanax, Moosh?

What is this, Anna Nicole Smith time?

Sorry, but even in Fagland, this is really done.

It just makes everything better.

Yeah, but if you take a pill to make everything better,

you never know when things are fucked up.

And if you don't know when things are
fucked up, you can't fix it yourself.

Believe me, I know what's fucked up.

Do you even get what mom's alters do?

Ruin my fucking life?
No.

They do stuff for mom.

She was protecting you.

Jason is nothing but a bi-curious church monkey

who's using you to find some edge.

That's not true.

So maybe he will fuck some guys,

and maybe you can get him to fuck you.

But he's gonna marry a girl,

and he's never gonna love you
the same way that you love him.

So T. came out to try and put a stop to it.

You slept in the truck?

Yeah, too many significant others at the Ramada bar.

They just want to talk and share and stuff.

Why aren't you sharing and stuff?

Why would I want to do that?
Who wants to hear my shit?

You know what I think?

I think you don't want
to hear your shit,

because you got a lot of it,

and you're afraid you might lose it,

and your voice will get all high,
and you'll sound like a woman.

Yeah, right. Fuck off.

How are the kids?

They're doing so great,

I think you guys should stay
another week or something.

Yeah, right.

Good luck.
Thanks.

We're beginning to inject the
medicine into your IV. You'll...

notice you're beginning to feel a little more relaxed.

So I can tell the medicine is reaching you,

I'd like you to count backwards from 100 for me.

Now?

Yeah, go ahead.

100...

99...

98...

97...

96...

Very good.

I'm wondering if anybody inside Tara has a memory

of a night when something happened
with Tara and a boy named Trip.

Can anyone help us with a memory?

What's in it for me?

Don't fuck with Buck!

So, listen, Buck, I understand you don't
want to have therapy in my office.

Oh, yeah, I'm done with that.

Great, well, then I'll just... I'll
just hang with you, then, okay?

You can hang all you want,
but nobody wants to talk to you.

That's why I'm here.

You see that?
Lick it and stick it.

Yeah, lucky shot. Whatever, get out of the way.

Lucky, huh?
Cocky sumbitch.

I could hit that shit facedown
munching your mama's snatch.

I apologize about my foul tongue.

I'm gonna make you my special lady.

If everybody could just sign this card
for Tonya, that would be great.

And when she comes back,
no comments about missing eyebrows.

And yes, in case anyone is wondering,

we will continue to serve our signature
volcano choc-splosion drink,

just without the "splosion" feature.

You guys got me?
Yeah.

One more thing.

If anyone has anything to say to me...

I ask that they say it to my face.

Have a great shift.
Thank you.

I'm gonna sign it now.

That includes you.

I don't have anything to say.
You certainly had something to say to corporate.

I have friends all over Barnabeez.

That means when there's something
squirrelly scooting up the flagpole, I get a call.

I think you get a call because you can't keep your penis

out of the face of every girl who works for you.

Penis is not an acceptable word for the workplace.

You got this job because you wanted
to get out of your crazy-ass house.

You were looking for affection from me.
No, I was not.

And I was there for you. And I still am.

Can you just stop acting like
whatever happened was important.

It was.

Kitty, we fell in love...
Oh God, look at you!

You can't even stop scamming right now.

Hey, Chucky! Is that my yoo-hoo?

So help me, it better be room temperature.

Fucking shit is freezing!
That's gonna fuck with my system.

Idiot.

How's she doing?

This kind of regression tells me I'm on the right track.

When Tara feels strong enough
to face the truth, she'll come back.

We just have to be patient.

Patient my ass. You're fucking $6,000 a week.

I can see this shit for free in my living room.

Listen, I know it's not easy,
but you came here for a reason.

Please try to trust the program, Max.

If you need something to do with yourself,
I suggest going back to your group.

Cheating me, taking away...

More wine, Char?

Yes, please.

I'll take a refill.

Is this...

Is this what normal people are like?

Like, is this what dinner's supposed to feel like?

Hey, sweetie.

Nick made white trash dessert.

There's pudding and marshmallows

and bananas and...

I don't know.

I brought jiffy pop.

Who wants to watch Lost?

Okay, cool, I'll get started without you guys.

You know, they say God never
gives you more than you can handle,

and that's just not true.

Marty's never getting better,

and I can't...

effing handle it.

Do you think that Nick can tell
that I had a thing with Neil?

Because I really don't want him
to realize that he's dating down.

He's not dating down.

Okay, well...

I don't want him to realize that I date down,

because that would lower my stock.

Did he hear me?

No, he didn't hear me.

I think you stopped before he came in.
I did, right?

When I slide my Harley V-Twin under a peterbilt

and pop out the other side without a scratch.

There's no Highway 84.

She's quoting convoy and talking about
stunts she saw in a Burt Reynolds movie.

What the fuck are we doing here?

Ask Buck.

I don't want to ask Buck. I'm done talking to Buck.

Hey, doc, help me out here.

I'm trying like hell to communicate. But this guy...

He's making it real fucking hard.

You want to know what's fucking hard, Tara?

Waking up in the middle of the night
not knowing where you are.

Yeah, that's hard.

Trying to piece together some kind of normal life,

but down inside you're losing all hope
that the suffering is ever gonna end.

This is not what I had in mind for my life.

You calling me out, tough guy?

Nope, nope, I'm not doing anything. I'm out of here.

This is waste of time.

Don't you walk away from me.

Yeah, that's right. Walk away, you pussy!

Hey, Buck, do me a favor.

If you see Tara, you tell her
I'm through. I'm not doing this anymore.

Oh, I'll give her the message...

Asshole!

He seemed nice.

I think he got a little freaked out

when I told him you like doing it in the shower.

No...
Charmaine, come on. Really?

I would never tell him about the fucking, all right?

You heard me. Oh, my God.

Neil.
You know...

Look, I'm sorry.

You have better boobs now, all right?

You can't be...

wasting your time.

And, BTW...

I loved that body the way it was.

And BTW, BTW,

the thing between us...

it's not just fucking,

and you know it.

Good night.

Tara?

Hi.
You're back.

I heard you were cleared for takeoff.

Oh, God.

See if it sticks.

What?
I've been integrated before,

and it turns out that some of the
alters were just hiding, but...

I think this time I'm good, though.

Of course you are.

Who are these cuties?

Bella and Wendy.

They must be 10 and 12 now.

I haven't seen them in a while.

My ex has full custody.

Hey, Chucky.

Chucky, there's a 15-minute limit.

Chucky!
Okay, okay.

I need the phone! Hang up now, fool!

I'm sorry.

I want to find Trip Johannsen.

If my alters won't tell me what happened,

then I want to find him myself.

Can you help me?

You gonna call me cowboy,

get all mad at me?

Not tonight.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

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