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1
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Previously on United
States of Tara...
2
00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:03,511
Do you think Dr. Pete can fix me?
3
00:00:03,594 --> 00:00:06,047
I'm weary of anyone
who calls himself Dr. Pete.
4
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:09,216
- She's here?
- Yes, the person is here.
5
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,093
That's not my booby buddy.
6
00:00:11,484 --> 00:00:14,284
- What are we doing here?
- What do you mean?
7
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,603
- Wait, is it a Hell House?
- A what?
8
00:00:17,686 --> 00:00:20,311
This evangelical play that
they use to scare kids straight.
9
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:23,227
If Marshall wants to put his time into
this, I'm sure he has a {\very }good reason.
10
00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,815
I had a bad bug encounter.
11
00:00:25,186 --> 00:00:26,275
You're so cute.
12
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,312
Something happened to Tara
13
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:31,572
- when you two went to school.
- His name is Trip Johanssen.
14
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,742
I think I saw something. New alter.
It's like an animal.
15
00:00:35,205 --> 00:00:36,160
What the fuck?
16
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:38,116
You come in with her
and we'll talk together
17
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,307
about the memories
that have triggered all this.
18
00:00:46,867 --> 00:00:49,474
Relecture/Resynchro:browncoat, lafeelicita
grischka, salomon, valpi
19
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,651
SeriesSub.com
20
00:01:42,794 --> 00:01:44,406
Hey, Dr. Ocean.
Max Gregson.
21
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:47,229
Listen, I don't know if you work
weekends, but Tara's Tara again.
22
00:01:47,312 --> 00:01:50,189
So I'd really like to move
her appointment up before she turns.
23
00:01:50,272 --> 00:01:51,097
Okay?
24
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,903
Call me.
Thanks, bye.
25
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:54,531
Sorry, it's me again.
26
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,006
Look, I didn't know if you were
gonna work the weekend thing out.
27
00:01:57,089 --> 00:02:00,239
But I don't want to do this alone,
and you told me not to do it alone.
28
00:02:00,322 --> 00:02:01,154
So...
29
00:02:01,782 --> 00:02:04,748
just... I think I might,
so call me either way, okay?
30
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:10,193
Hey.
31
00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:13,053
Listen, I didn't mean
to make it sound like
32
00:02:13,136 --> 00:02:14,959
I wasn't gonna wait, okay?
33
00:02:15,042 --> 00:02:16,995
I can definitely wait.
34
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,320
I'll see you at
our next appointment time.
35
00:02:19,403 --> 00:02:22,224
And I won't say a word.
I promise.
36
00:02:24,839 --> 00:02:26,689
Your tummy messed up again?
37
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,269
What? No.
38
00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:29,208
Why?
39
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,690
You're doing your diarrhea dance.
40
00:02:31,859 --> 00:02:32,621
Oh.
41
00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:34,278
No, no, I'm fine.
42
00:02:36,686 --> 00:02:37,736
Okay, what?
43
00:02:38,918 --> 00:02:40,257
Nothing.
Nada.
44
00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:42,617
Baby, if you don't tell me
what you're pissed off about,
45
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,240
we'll end up in some dumb fight
about, I don't know,
46
00:02:45,323 --> 00:02:47,451
who forgot to change
the dishwasher filter.
47
00:02:48,612 --> 00:02:51,170
It's not about the dishwasher filter.
I'm not mad at you.
48
00:02:51,612 --> 00:02:52,962
Then just say it.
49
00:03:00,544 --> 00:03:02,694
I think there may be a new alter.
50
00:03:04,578 --> 00:03:05,478
Oh, God.
51
00:03:07,109 --> 00:03:08,468
Are you sure?
52
00:03:09,926 --> 00:03:12,709
Remember how you thought
that none of you ruined the mural?
53
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:15,090
Dr. Ocean says with
the appearance of a new alter...
54
00:03:15,173 --> 00:03:18,197
Wait, you and Dr. Ocean have been
talking about this? About me? Together?
55
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,947
Well, we wanted to tell you together,
but every time I call her,
56
00:03:21,030 --> 00:03:23,120
- she never an...
- Tell me. Tell me everything now.
57
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,328
What's her name?
58
00:03:26,175 --> 00:03:28,912
Oh, jeez, it's another dude.
Great. I'm such a lesbian.
59
00:03:28,995 --> 00:03:30,295
It's not a dude.
60
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:35,864
It's...
61
00:03:38,081 --> 00:03:38,884
What?
62
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,303
We're not sure.
It's animalistic.
63
00:03:42,106 --> 00:03:43,737
Pure id I guess.
64
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:47,684
Okay, you're making me sound like
an evil, rabid squirrel or something.
65
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:48,693
Yeah.
66
00:03:48,907 --> 00:03:50,857
Well, it's kind of like that.
67
00:03:50,953 --> 00:03:52,606
But the size of you.
68
00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:56,744
I'm gonna throw up.
69
00:04:15,826 --> 00:04:16,870
A go for?
70
00:04:17,113 --> 00:04:18,215
How many letters?
71
00:04:18,511 --> 00:04:20,163
I got newsy news!
72
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,421
Somebody's got puppies in the oven!
73
00:04:24,794 --> 00:04:25,691
I...
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00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:27,822
am with child.
75
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:33,765
Oh, cool, Alice.
Is it a boy or a girl?
76
00:04:33,848 --> 00:04:35,198
Too soon to tell.
77
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,146
- It's not getting my room.
- Me either.
78
00:04:38,229 --> 00:04:40,302
I would've thought you twowould've been happy to have
79
00:04:40,385 --> 00:04:43,907
a brand new little niblet
to bat around a yarn ball with.
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00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,228
Oh, my God.
81
00:04:46,129 --> 00:04:47,123
I'm out.
82
00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:50,472
Hey, Marsh, you want me
to pick you up after school?
83
00:04:50,555 --> 00:04:51,675
No, it's okay.
84
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,624
I have rehearsal, so...
85
00:04:54,009 --> 00:04:56,728
- Opening night's tomorrow.
- Ooh, your church pageant.
86
00:04:56,811 --> 00:04:59,714
Everybody in Overland Park I ever hated,
and you're gonna go pray with 'em?
87
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,032
I don't pray.
88
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,605
Honey, listen to me.
89
00:05:05,482 --> 00:05:08,741
I'm sorry, but there is no way
that you could be pregnant.
90
00:05:08,824 --> 00:05:10,100
Tara has an IUD.
91
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,727
Oh, pooh, I don't believe
in those things.
92
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:15,105
Well, I don't think it matters
if you believe in 'em.
93
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,928
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
94
00:05:18,114 --> 00:05:20,403
The magical spirit of an infant
can wriggle its way around
95
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,286
that mean old devil's tree
in no time.
96
00:05:22,369 --> 00:05:24,970
Now if I remember correctly,
I have some rickrack
97
00:05:25,053 --> 00:05:27,826
- that would look nifty on a bib.
- Hey, Alice.
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00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:28,844
Listen.
99
00:05:29,325 --> 00:05:32,372
Tara has a doctor's appointment
coming up and if she's not back,
100
00:05:32,455 --> 00:05:33,707
could you go in her place?
101
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:37,325
- You found us an obstetrician?
- Well, she's a therapist.
102
00:05:38,042 --> 00:05:40,630
Talky talky talk.
Naval gazers.
103
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:43,300
What a waste of one's time.
No, I won't do that.
104
00:05:43,823 --> 00:05:46,491
Now those bibs,
plus my puffy paint marker.
105
00:05:46,574 --> 00:05:48,305
Ooh, we can set up the crib.
106
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:52,920
Marshall.
107
00:05:53,671 --> 00:05:55,494
- Hi, Pastor.
- I'm glad I caught you.
108
00:05:55,577 --> 00:05:56,853
Going to rehearsal?
109
00:05:57,003 --> 00:05:57,782
Yep.
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00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,835
I just want you to know
111
00:05:59,918 --> 00:06:01,511
I get what you're doing here.
112
00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:03,987
And i'm not the only one
who can see it.
113
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:05,555
Everyone can.
114
00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:08,281
They can?
115
00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:11,161
Well, you don't do
a very good job of hiding it.
116
00:06:12,707 --> 00:06:13,621
Just know...
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00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:16,309
We're keeping an eye on you, son.
118
00:06:23,799 --> 00:06:24,937
And,
119
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:29,444
because national has just taken
receipt of over 35,000 tons
120
00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:31,806
of beautiful crab from Israel,
121
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,267
we're initiating
abundantly crab month.
122
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:36,120
Now, who here can tell me
123
00:06:36,203 --> 00:06:39,067
what's in the crab mountain
melee salad?
124
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,198
Crab, iceberg, egg,
125
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,033
tomato, carrot, crouton...
126
00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:54,787
- Choice of dressing.
- Nice, Tonya.
127
00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:56,344
Nice! Good.
128
00:06:56,681 --> 00:06:59,034
Kate, you haven't...
answered any ice breakers.
129
00:06:59,117 --> 00:07:00,877
Do you have a handout with you?
130
00:07:05,298 --> 00:07:06,591
Getting crabby?
131
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,843
I won't punish you.I mean,
132
00:07:09,238 --> 00:07:10,988
not unless you ask me to.
133
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,532
Shift change, people.
First person to sell anything crab
134
00:07:16,615 --> 00:07:17,991
wins a Starbucks card.
135
00:07:18,074 --> 00:07:19,257
Go, go, go.
136
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:23,107
Hey... Katie, wait up.
137
00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:26,906
- Hey, drugstore cowboy.
- Asshole.
138
00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:29,499
Look, I really don't want
to have to do this with her.
139
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:32,035
Alice is not gonna let me
watch her pee.
140
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,302
You really think there's a chance
she could be knocked up?
141
00:07:35,385 --> 00:07:38,098
Is there a chance that crazy shit
constantly happens around here?
142
00:07:38,181 --> 00:07:39,781
- Where is she?
- Upstairs.
143
00:07:39,864 --> 00:07:41,047
You owe me, Mister.
144
00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:42,780
- Whatever.
- Asshole.
145
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:44,462
That's what they call me.
146
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:48,299
Tomorrow is not just opening night
for friends and family.
147
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,552
We're gonna have one VIP coming,
who expects a lot.
148
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,763
A VIP called The Lord.
149
00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:57,694
I need everybody to pitch in.
Starting with the hell-dwellers.
150
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,061
Stoners, sweep out
the columbine set.
151
00:08:00,144 --> 00:08:01,720
Jews, jews, jews,
152
00:08:01,803 --> 00:08:04,066
ask your moms for some platters
for the donuts
153
00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:05,610
in the conversion room.
154
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,716
Homos, i'm sending you out
on errands.
155
00:08:08,171 --> 00:08:10,896
Kyle and Devin,
go to the bank and grab some singles
156
00:08:10,979 --> 00:08:12,168
for the ticket booth.
157
00:08:12,251 --> 00:08:14,617
Jason, Marshall,
go to the grocery store
158
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,541
and grab some abortion meat.
159
00:08:16,624 --> 00:08:17,575
Cool?
160
00:08:24,624 --> 00:08:26,068
- Okay.
- Stop it.
161
00:08:26,151 --> 00:08:28,464
- Stop what, Kitty Kate?
- Stop with the name.
162
00:08:28,632 --> 00:08:30,925
Stop singling me out
at your little crab updates.
163
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:33,344
Stop blabbing to people.
Just stop it.
164
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:36,687
I've been getting this {\totally} sketch feeling
for the past couple of days and Grambo
165
00:08:36,770 --> 00:08:38,536
keeps winking at me
with his one good eye.
166
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,264
I haven't said a word to anyone.
167
00:08:40,347 --> 00:08:42,164
Yeah, but you want people
to know, right?
168
00:08:42,247 --> 00:08:45,857
Like subconsciously or something. Like
it's like I can feel you claiming me.
169
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,696
If it's cool with you,
I just think we should just can it.
170
00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:53,776
Can it?
Can what?
171
00:08:54,012 --> 00:08:55,032
Can this.
172
00:08:55,585 --> 00:08:56,553
You know,
173
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,593
I think it's kind of hard for you
to understand because, like,
174
00:08:59,676 --> 00:09:01,747
of your generation
or whatever. But, like,
175
00:09:01,915 --> 00:09:04,315
you take everything
really seriously.
176
00:09:04,709 --> 00:09:08,006
Like... Like, people my age, we just,
like, hook up and then we move on.
177
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:11,134
So, like, when you do stuff,
178
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,805
like, text me about
how my latin test went,
179
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,845
it's funky.
180
00:09:16,758 --> 00:09:17,674
So...
181
00:09:20,391 --> 00:09:22,491
I feel a lot better saying that.
182
00:09:22,574 --> 00:09:24,729
I really just want
to be an employee again.
183
00:09:25,611 --> 00:09:27,661
I'm glad you feel better but...
184
00:09:27,992 --> 00:09:29,525
I'm not sure I can do that.
185
00:09:34,136 --> 00:09:36,615
I think it's best
if I had you transferred.
186
00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:37,819
Well,
187
00:09:37,902 --> 00:09:39,707
you can't do that because
188
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:42,499
the closest Barnabeez is, like,
40 million miles away in Shawnee.
189
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,568
Yeah.
190
00:09:44,032 --> 00:09:46,432
I can't walk there
from school, Gene.
191
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:47,737
Fine.
192
00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:50,166
Then I'll just terminate you then.
193
00:09:51,106 --> 00:09:52,861
- On what grounds?
- Plenty.
194
00:09:52,944 --> 00:09:55,312
You're the slowest
ketchup-marrier on staff.
195
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:58,482
Your refusal to follow fashion
standards. General lack of glee.
196
00:09:58,565 --> 00:09:59,799
- Lack of glee?
- Yeah.
197
00:09:59,882 --> 00:10:00,832
- Gene.
198
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,551
I'm sorry, Kate,
but you're done here.
199
00:10:05,402 --> 00:10:06,302
Goodbye.
200
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:10,800
Leave the visor.
201
00:10:21,228 --> 00:10:23,412
- Stop watching me.
- I'm not watching.
202
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:26,230
I can't make sissy
with all this pressure.
203
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:30,946
I'm so excited.
204
00:10:31,384 --> 00:10:33,784
You're gonna be
an auntie, Charmaine.
205
00:10:38,564 --> 00:10:40,304
Your new bust line turned out well.
206
00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:41,382
Thanks.
207
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,600
- Did it hurt?
- I'm feeling better now.
208
00:10:52,609 --> 00:10:54,610
We're in business.
209
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:58,740
It's pink, it's pink! I knew it!
We're having a girl!
210
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:04,011
- That's negative, right?
- Yeah, it's pink no matter what.
211
00:11:04,094 --> 00:11:06,883
There'd be a plus sign
if there was an actual baby.
212
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:07,797
Thank God.
213
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,216
I just don't want to be there
214
00:11:09,299 --> 00:11:11,289
the day she tries to check
herself into a hospital
215
00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:13,420
just to squish out
an invisible baby.
216
00:11:13,938 --> 00:11:14,988
Maybe I do.
217
00:11:16,955 --> 00:11:18,996
You never told me
what happened with Heidi.
218
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,763
Yeah, yeah. I met her. Does the name
Johanssen mean anything to you?
219
00:11:23,244 --> 00:11:24,389
Guess there's
220
00:11:24,472 --> 00:11:27,893
a building at the school
with the family's name all over it.
221
00:11:28,629 --> 00:11:31,529
Got nada for you.
I was in a whole other state.
222
00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:36,277
It's driving me fucking nuts.
It's like I know too much but
223
00:11:36,789 --> 00:11:39,655
I don't know enough.
I just want to fix it.
224
00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:41,667
You're funny.
225
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:42,675
Why?
226
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,452
That you think you can fix it.
227
00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:53,160
Now for the smaller brush.
228
00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:54,383
Thank you.
229
00:11:56,943 --> 00:12:00,393
Times like this I really wish
Tara taught me how to paint.
230
00:12:01,901 --> 00:12:03,159
Tara can
231
00:12:03,745 --> 00:12:05,198
teach you things?
232
00:12:05,538 --> 00:12:08,838
Of course she can, silly.
We're never too old to learn.
233
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,000
I learn from all of them.
234
00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:12,048
Even T.
235
00:12:12,948 --> 00:12:13,948
Even Buck.
236
00:12:15,659 --> 00:12:18,319
Buck helped me a bunch last week.
237
00:12:20,279 --> 00:12:21,579
With my surgery.
238
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:25,144
I like him.
He's such a wild man.
239
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,066
- I thought my mom might be back.
- No. Got way too much to do.
240
00:12:32,149 --> 00:12:33,253
You okay?
241
00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:36,714
I got fucking fired
from my fucking work today.
242
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,871
And don't go for the soap
or I'll find a set of stairs
243
00:12:38,954 --> 00:12:40,954
and I will push you down them.
244
00:12:42,765 --> 00:12:43,570
Kate.
245
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,623
When's the last time
you washed your hair?
246
00:12:48,475 --> 00:12:50,482
Does that look like
an abortion to you?
247
00:12:50,565 --> 00:12:51,565
Kind of.
248
00:12:52,225 --> 00:12:53,225
Liver.
249
00:12:53,675 --> 00:12:55,042
That looks abortiony.
250
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,942
Could we have seven pounds of that?
251
00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:59,525
Seven pounds it is.
There you go.
252
00:13:02,485 --> 00:13:04,135
Kendra gave me the money.
253
00:13:04,565 --> 00:13:05,665
I hate okra.
254
00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:07,962
- Well have you ever had it?
- No.
255
00:13:08,045 --> 00:13:09,045
Why not?
256
00:13:09,235 --> 00:13:10,635
Sounds like Oprah.
257
00:13:10,775 --> 00:13:12,522
- Wouldn't want that in a can.
- So...
258
00:13:12,605 --> 00:13:15,125
You don't like it
because of the label?
259
00:13:16,175 --> 00:13:17,325
Want me to...
260
00:13:19,725 --> 00:13:20,925
I hate labels.
261
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:24,432
Have you ever thought
about what it would be like
262
00:13:24,515 --> 00:13:27,515
if there were no labels
on anything in the store?
263
00:13:27,805 --> 00:13:29,505
Pretty random basically.
264
00:13:30,145 --> 00:13:32,661
Yes, okay.
So people would take the stuff home
265
00:13:32,744 --> 00:13:35,972
and they would make it and eat it before
they even knew if they liked it or not.
266
00:13:36,055 --> 00:13:38,762
{\And }I bet a lot of people would throw out
a bunch of stuff that sucked.
267
00:13:38,845 --> 00:13:42,692
{\And }I assert that the same amount of people
if not more would find new things.
268
00:13:42,775 --> 00:13:44,625
New things that they loved.
269
00:13:47,215 --> 00:13:49,260
But you know what I mean, right?
270
00:13:49,343 --> 00:13:50,243
Kind of.
271
00:13:50,411 --> 00:13:51,761
Okay, here we go.
272
00:13:52,345 --> 00:13:54,039
No! Alice, come on!
273
00:13:54,285 --> 00:13:58,062
- Don't spray me with that stuff!
- I promise it'll cheer you up.
274
00:13:58,145 --> 00:14:01,338
You know when Trixie's born,
we'll put make-up on her too.
275
00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:05,406
- You're gonna call her Trixie?
- Well either Trixie or Pauline.
276
00:14:06,315 --> 00:14:07,315
Ladybird.
277
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:12,580
You know, Kate, I agree.
That man was a {\real }pooh head for firing you.
278
00:14:12,663 --> 00:14:13,663
Right?
279
00:14:14,275 --> 00:14:17,175
But there's something
you may want to consider.
280
00:14:17,505 --> 00:14:18,979
You know how we were brought up
281
00:14:19,062 --> 00:14:21,045
to believe that men
were the stronger sex
282
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,990
made of hard, hairy muscles
and granite and irish spring?
283
00:14:24,073 --> 00:14:26,253
- Did she just say "{\hard, }hairy muscles"?
- "Hairy muscles."
284
00:14:26,336 --> 00:14:28,231
And ladies are supposed
to be these...
285
00:14:28,314 --> 00:14:30,993
mushy crybabies
with sparkly pink insides?
286
00:14:31,076 --> 00:14:33,026
Well it turns out that men...
287
00:14:33,815 --> 00:14:35,865
are highly emotional creatures.
288
00:14:36,145 --> 00:14:38,208
We must never humiliate them.
289
00:14:38,555 --> 00:14:40,655
They are vulnerable and needy.
290
00:14:41,395 --> 00:14:43,466
And their hearts are just
as pink and mushy as ours,
291
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,949
if not pinker and mushier.
292
00:14:45,705 --> 00:14:50,055
And scientists have found
that most men feel safer and stronger...
293
00:14:51,735 --> 00:14:53,875
When women raise their vocal tones
by just half a note.
294
00:14:53,958 --> 00:14:56,708
Is that why you talk
like a Disney princess?
295
00:14:57,195 --> 00:15:01,195
This is some bullshit, Alice.
I'm not gonna chirp like a hummingbird.
296
00:15:03,155 --> 00:15:05,755
Trust me, ladies.
I know of what I speak.
297
00:15:05,855 --> 00:15:07,028
Now look at yourselves.
298
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,425
Don't we feel like
we can do anything?
299
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:14,225
I look good.
300
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:19,335
I never had apricot pancakes before.
They're good.
301
00:15:19,555 --> 00:15:23,112
I'm going to put some of those apricots
up in jars so when Fiona's born,
302
00:15:23,195 --> 00:15:24,952
I'm going to make baby food.
303
00:15:25,035 --> 00:15:27,162
Fiona?
Is that what you're calling her now?
304
00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:30,045
I'm also considering
Marybeth and Elodie.
305
00:15:31,435 --> 00:15:32,435
Elodie?
306
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:35,825
- Never heard that one before.
- I made it up.
307
00:15:36,295 --> 00:15:39,936
{\You know, }When baby comes, the rest are gonna have
to get used to not being number one{\ anymore}.
308
00:15:40,265 --> 00:15:42,002
What, do you mean Kate and Marshall?
309
00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:45,285
No, silly, the others.
My charges, Buck and T.
310
00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:54,252
What do you mean, "Your charges?"
They belong to you?
311
00:15:54,335 --> 00:15:57,085
Well somebody has
to take care of the brood.
312
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:01,125
T.'s a flake
and Buck's a high plains wolf.
313
00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:02,545
And Tara...
314
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,884
Wanna ask you something.
315
00:16:11,745 --> 00:16:14,202
If you tell me which
is your favorite name.
316
00:16:14,285 --> 00:16:16,435
- Elodie.
- I like that one too!
317
00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:22,485
Okay, if you're the keeper
of all the alters,
318
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,065
are there any...
319
00:16:25,635 --> 00:16:27,984
... others, any I don't know about?
320
00:16:28,605 --> 00:16:29,605
What?
321
00:16:30,065 --> 00:16:33,615
I think I just felt a little kick.
She's getting so strong.
322
00:16:33,895 --> 00:16:36,195
Alice, what are you not telling me?
323
00:16:36,825 --> 00:16:38,775
Nothing, my prince.
324
00:16:41,035 --> 00:16:43,285
I need you to do something for me.
325
00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:48,175
Because I give you
everything you want, don't I?
326
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:52,595
Don't I?
327
00:16:58,165 --> 00:16:59,515
What do you want?
328
00:17:00,005 --> 00:17:01,005
I want you
329
00:17:01,985 --> 00:17:03,585
to meet Tara's doctor.
330
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:06,925
For me.
331
00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:12,825
Come.
332
00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:19,112
I'd have mailed you your check.
333
00:17:19,195 --> 00:17:21,345
I didn't come for my check, Gene.
334
00:17:24,055 --> 00:17:25,405
I came because...
335
00:17:26,525 --> 00:17:29,212
I was thinking about
how everything went down.
336
00:17:29,835 --> 00:17:30,935
And...
337
00:17:32,508 --> 00:17:33,908
I just...
338
00:17:36,965 --> 00:17:40,165
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry
339
00:17:40,985 --> 00:17:43,309
for saying the things that I did
about your generation.
340
00:17:43,785 --> 00:17:45,435
It was very mean of me.
341
00:17:46,939 --> 00:17:49,439
And I didn't mean
to make you feel old.
342
00:17:51,715 --> 00:17:54,215
It did make me feel
very judged by you.
343
00:17:56,095 --> 00:17:57,095
And...
344
00:17:57,985 --> 00:17:59,885
I realized that...
345
00:18:02,505 --> 00:18:04,372
we're in different places
in our life.
346
00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:05,685
You know?
347
00:18:07,465 --> 00:18:10,378
But that doesn't mean
that we have to hate each other.
348
00:18:10,665 --> 00:18:13,965
- I could never hate you.
- And I could never hate you.
349
00:18:14,865 --> 00:18:18,715
Because I know
that you have a big heart.
350
00:18:22,495 --> 00:18:23,495
Thank you.
351
00:18:25,685 --> 00:18:26,885
For seeing it.
352
00:18:27,785 --> 00:18:28,785
I did.
353
00:18:34,525 --> 00:18:35,903
Can I have my job back, Gene?
354
00:18:38,865 --> 00:18:40,815
Gene, can I have my job back?
355
00:18:41,425 --> 00:18:43,075
Please can I come back?
356
00:18:45,038 --> 00:18:49,038
{\So, }I've narrowed it down to my top three.
Elodie, Trixie, and Fiona.
357
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,145
They all sound good.
358
00:18:52,025 --> 00:18:53,476
You seem very excited.
359
00:18:53,559 --> 00:18:55,297
I've been waiting
my whole life for this.
360
00:18:55,825 --> 00:18:57,388
Always been the kind of woman
361
00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,220
who kept a handful
of butterscotch candies
362
00:18:59,303 --> 00:19:02,382
in my apron to hand out
to the neighborhood children.
363
00:19:02,465 --> 00:19:04,865
The sound of kids laughing
is like...
364
00:19:05,075 --> 00:19:06,132
is like a brook
365
00:19:06,215 --> 00:19:09,315
that quenches the thirst
of my soul song, you know?
366
00:19:09,975 --> 00:19:11,775
But he changed everything.
367
00:19:13,005 --> 00:19:14,855
You changed everything.
368
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,092
I used to dream about babies.
369
00:19:18,175 --> 00:19:20,572
Now I dream about a baby
with your face.
370
00:19:20,655 --> 00:19:22,005
Thank you, Alice.
371
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,295
Are you going to...
372
00:19:25,412 --> 00:19:27,246
Well, I'm really enjoying
meeting Alice.
373
00:19:27,414 --> 00:19:29,564
Okay, I gotta go to the bathroom.
374
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:44,765
She's nice.
375
00:19:46,475 --> 00:19:47,525
You know...
376
00:19:47,715 --> 00:19:49,015
I need a minute.
377
00:19:52,935 --> 00:19:55,085
Nothing got done today.
Nothing.
378
00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:56,150
Look...
379
00:19:56,318 --> 00:19:59,822
You told Tara about the new alter.
She transitioned immediately.
380
00:19:59,905 --> 00:20:01,205
She's afraid it's too much.
381
00:20:01,288 --> 00:20:03,622
That there's no way you could love
anything that far out.
382
00:20:03,705 --> 00:20:05,922
Yeah, well, she's got that
fucking right.
383
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,482
Well, look at Alice.
384
00:20:07,565 --> 00:20:11,165
She's so invested in keeping you,
that she made a baby.
385
00:20:11,475 --> 00:20:14,418
A baby that for all intents
and purposes is you.
386
00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:17,055
I'm a baby.
387
00:20:17,755 --> 00:20:18,905
That's crazy.
388
00:20:20,075 --> 00:20:21,575
Yeah, it is.
Crazy.
389
00:20:23,678 --> 00:20:25,028
Max, I think...
390
00:20:25,895 --> 00:20:28,599
it's time for you
to get your own therapist.
391
00:20:30,175 --> 00:20:31,225
Hootie hoo.
392
00:20:31,405 --> 00:20:33,020
- Everyone good here?
- Yeah.
393
00:20:33,445 --> 00:20:35,064
Yeah. Yeah, we're done here.
394
00:20:47,505 --> 00:20:48,505
Shit.
395
00:20:50,745 --> 00:20:51,912
How long do we have?
396
00:20:51,995 --> 00:20:55,045
I think the first tour
starts in about 15 minutes.
397
00:20:56,225 --> 00:20:57,225
Nervous?
398
00:20:57,485 --> 00:20:58,535
Not really.
399
00:21:02,545 --> 00:21:04,902
- Hey, dad.
- Big night, boys. Big night.
400
00:21:04,985 --> 00:21:07,052
What's that theater convention?
401
00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:08,756
{\You know, }We're not supposed
to say "Good luck."
402
00:21:08,839 --> 00:21:10,464
- It's "Break a leg."
- "Break a leg".
403
00:21:10,547 --> 00:21:12,202
There it is.
Break a leg.
404
00:21:12,285 --> 00:21:14,285
Marshall, can I have a minute?
405
00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:19,305
- I'll see you inside, son.
- Meet you in there.
406
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:26,657
I was just wondering whether
anything's changed since last we spoke.
407
00:21:28,015 --> 00:21:30,615
Not that anybody
can change that quickly.
408
00:21:31,615 --> 00:21:35,541
{\You know, }A lot of people come through here
thinking they can do what you're doing.
409
00:21:36,365 --> 00:21:37,365
They have?
410
00:21:38,615 --> 00:21:42,015
But keeping Christ at a distance
doesn't make you cool.
411
00:21:44,055 --> 00:21:46,705
You haven't accepted
Christ yet, have you?
412
00:21:49,955 --> 00:21:50,955
That?
413
00:21:52,635 --> 00:21:54,535
You know what? You're right.
414
00:21:55,103 --> 00:21:56,322
When I came here,
415
00:21:56,405 --> 00:21:58,842
I don't even think that I was even,
you know,
416
00:21:58,925 --> 00:22:00,535
looking for a personal savior.
417
00:22:00,618 --> 00:22:03,542
- And that's {\probably }what you're picking up on.
- I knew it.
418
00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:05,052
Could see it a mile away.
419
00:22:05,135 --> 00:22:08,073
And you know what? As soon as
I'm ready to have a personal savior,
420
00:22:08,241 --> 00:22:11,201
- he's completely on top of my list.
- Well, good.
421
00:22:12,625 --> 00:22:13,725
Break a leg.
422
00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:15,834
Jesus.
423
00:22:16,425 --> 00:22:17,425
Fuck.
424
00:22:48,781 --> 00:22:51,081
Hurry up!
File in! File in!
425
00:22:52,135 --> 00:22:53,635
Stop dilly-dallying!
426
00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:55,629
Get in the room!
427
00:22:57,025 --> 00:23:00,582
Oh, thank you for agreeing to come.
I think Marshall will be happy.
428
00:23:00,665 --> 00:23:02,865
Plus we all might learn something.
429
00:23:03,046 --> 00:23:04,246
Satan forever!
430
00:23:04,545 --> 00:23:08,341
This kids thought
it was just about the music!
431
00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:11,174
Little did they know
that popular music
432
00:23:11,257 --> 00:23:14,957
is Satan's favorite way
to recruit new souls.
433
00:23:15,308 --> 00:23:18,008
Soon, they will be mine, in Hell.
434
00:23:18,455 --> 00:23:19,728
Follow me!
435
00:23:40,235 --> 00:23:41,335
Hello, Kate.
436
00:23:42,165 --> 00:23:44,315
This kid stopped going to church.
437
00:23:44,825 --> 00:23:47,422
His parents thought
he was going through a stage.
438
00:23:48,525 --> 00:23:49,825
A stage!
439
00:23:50,205 --> 00:23:53,803
Now he'll burn in Hell
for all eternity!
440
00:23:53,971 --> 00:23:57,271
Clouds change,
cracking open skies deranged.
441
00:23:58,059 --> 00:23:59,059
Fragments.
442
00:24:00,615 --> 00:24:01,765
Fragments.
443
00:24:02,465 --> 00:24:05,132
For the universe would never
be the same again.
444
00:24:05,215 --> 00:24:06,365
That's right!
445
00:24:06,765 --> 00:24:09,235
This is where they all end up!
446
00:24:09,403 --> 00:24:10,445
In Hell!
447
00:24:10,613 --> 00:24:13,907
A hell far worse than
you ever could've imagined.
448
00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:16,455
Homos!
449
00:24:16,895 --> 00:24:17,895
Racists!
450
00:24:18,435 --> 00:24:19,785
Is that Marshall?
451
00:24:20,289 --> 00:24:22,874
Gavin newsome!
Movie stars!
452
00:24:23,535 --> 00:24:24,535
Vegans!
453
00:24:24,815 --> 00:24:26,419
Butt-fucking fruits!
454
00:24:27,565 --> 00:24:30,632
Let us make haste
before it's too late!
455
00:24:31,065 --> 00:24:34,010
Let us make haste
before it's too late!
456
00:24:34,675 --> 00:24:39,265
That was an original piece I wrote,
entitled Until After Yesterday.
457
00:24:39,915 --> 00:24:43,115
Kate, I've given you
the after-school shift on Monday
458
00:24:44,095 --> 00:24:45,995
and I hope to see you there.
459
00:24:51,795 --> 00:24:55,073
So let me surround you with
the abundant white light of my love,
460
00:24:55,845 --> 00:24:58,495
and you shall be rescued
for all eternity.
461
00:24:59,245 --> 00:25:01,702
Now if you would please go
to the salvation room,
462
00:25:01,785 --> 00:25:04,585
we have people who want to talk to you
about being saved.
463
00:25:05,459 --> 00:25:06,559
Plus donuts.
464
00:25:11,425 --> 00:25:13,175
Could you come down here?
465
00:25:23,485 --> 00:25:26,271
Oh, darling, just in time.
Jesus is blessing the baby.
466
00:25:26,975 --> 00:25:28,412
That's not Jesus.
He's acting.
467
00:25:28,495 --> 00:25:30,942
He works at the Three Day Blinds
by the interstate. Hey, Pauly.
468
00:25:31,025 --> 00:25:32,875
I know.
I'm not a dingwit.
469
00:25:33,245 --> 00:25:34,988
He can still bless our baby.
470
00:25:38,045 --> 00:25:40,995
I'm so sorry.
Would you please excuse us, Jesus?
471
00:25:41,805 --> 00:25:43,454
Why don't you care about this baby?
472
00:25:43,925 --> 00:25:45,975
Always all, tell me
what happened to Tara.
473
00:25:46,058 --> 00:25:48,110
"I'm Dudley detective
with a giant magnifying glass,
474
00:25:48,193 --> 00:25:51,129
- "I'm gonna get to the bottom of this."
- Is there something wrong with that?
475
00:25:51,297 --> 00:25:53,531
Yes. You are relentless.
476
00:25:53,614 --> 00:25:56,188
I heard you tell Charmaine
you hunted down Heidi
477
00:25:56,271 --> 00:25:58,871
and now you've gone
and brought Gimme out.
478
00:26:01,955 --> 00:26:03,405
Alice, who's Gimme?
479
00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:08,015
Max, you listen to me.
480
00:26:08,875 --> 00:26:10,975
You have no idea, okay?
481
00:26:11,595 --> 00:26:14,245
You have no idea
what you're playing with.
482
00:26:17,275 --> 00:26:18,575
Time to go home.
483
00:26:20,285 --> 00:26:23,285
Wait, I changed my mind!
I don't want to do this.
484
00:26:23,435 --> 00:26:24,935
You should've thought about that
485
00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:27,212
when you were having unprotected sex
486
00:26:27,295 --> 00:26:29,795
with the entire football team!
487
00:26:38,145 --> 00:26:40,595
Look what you've done, you monster!
488
00:26:46,025 --> 00:26:47,025
Tara?
489
00:26:54,415 --> 00:26:55,415
Alice?
490
00:26:58,915 --> 00:27:00,415
Alice, are you okay?
491
00:27:03,005 --> 00:27:04,905
I lost our baby, my darling.
492
00:27:05,645 --> 00:27:08,414
I lost Elodie.
I lost our little girl.
493
00:27:09,345 --> 00:27:10,845
No, no, honey.
494
00:27:11,765 --> 00:27:13,515
That's not a miscarriage.
495
00:27:14,085 --> 00:27:15,792
I looked at our schedule.
496
00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:17,625
You just had your period.
497
00:27:18,165 --> 00:27:20,065
Yes, honey.
498
00:27:23,505 --> 00:27:24,955
Oh, Alice.
499
00:27:26,035 --> 00:27:27,285
Come on, Alice.
500
00:27:31,335 --> 00:27:32,735
I love you, Alice.
501
00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:37,335
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