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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:02,734 (Tara) PREVIOUSLY, ON UNITED STATES OF TARA... 2 00:00:02,734 --> 00:00:03,801 LOOK, WE KNEW WHEN YOU WENT OFF THE MEDS 3 00:00:03,801 --> 00:00:04,968 THE WHOLE GANG WOULD RESURFACE. 4 00:00:04,968 --> 00:00:07,501 I HATE YOU FOR NOT FUCKING ME. 5 00:00:07,501 --> 00:00:09,234 I AM BUCK, AND I WILL FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS. 6 00:00:09,234 --> 00:00:10,701 WAIT. 7 00:00:10,701 --> 00:00:13,167 I'M HAVING A MULTIPLE PERSONALITY REUNION TOUR. 8 00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:15,501 IT IS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO SEE MY SISTER LIKE THAT. 9 00:00:15,501 --> 00:00:17,234 IT'S NOT EVEN A REAL DISEASE, MAX. 10 00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,801 I THINK IT'S UNFAIR THAT YOU GOTTA DO ALL THE WORK. 11 00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:20,200 CAN'T TARA DO SOME OF IT? 12 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,267 TOMORROW, I'M GONNA TALK TO MARSY'S TEACHER. 13 00:00:22,267 --> 00:00:24,000 WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT-- WE JUST THOUGHT A MAN-TO-MAN THING 14 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,767 MIGHT BE THE WAY TO PLAY THIS GUY. 15 00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:26,767 KNOCK, KNOCK. 16 00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:29,567 ROOM FOR ONE MORE? 17 00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:31,033 OH, MY GOD. YOU SAVED MY LIFE. OH, PIFFLE. 18 00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:33,033 YOU'RE PROMISCUOUS. YOU AREN'T GUARDING YOUR FLOWER. 19 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,567 YOU MEAN A SLUT? 20 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:37,667 A GIRL WHO SUCKS AND FUCKS? 21 00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:39,767 I'M GOING TO WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP. 22 00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:41,634 [muffled gasping] 23 00:00:41,634 --> 00:00:42,667 HEY! 24 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,000 OH, GOD. I WANT OUT. 25 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,734 ARE YOU HIRING? 26 00:00:45,734 --> 00:00:47,567 I'D LIKE TO FILL OUT AN APPLICATION. 27 00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:50,334 I'M SORRY ABOUT ALICE, BUT, HONEY, THAT'S CRAZY. 28 00:00:50,334 --> 00:00:53,367 MAYBE FROM NOW ON, LET ME DOLE OUT THE PUNISHMENT, OKAY? 29 00:00:53,367 --> 00:00:56,367 I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP. 30 00:00:56,367 --> 00:00:58,601 DON'T YOU WANT TO MAKE A BABY? 31 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:00,167 NO. 32 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,200 [whimsical melody] 33 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,868 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:10,868 --> 00:01:13,801 ♪ OPEN UP THE SKY ♪ 35 00:01:13,801 --> 00:01:17,400 ♪ THIS MESS IS GETTING HIGH ♪ 36 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:23,901 ♪ IT'S WINDY AND HER FAMILY NEEDS A RIDE ♪ 37 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:28,834 ♪ I KNOW WE'LL BE JUST FINE ♪ 38 00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:31,634 ♪ WHEN WE LEARN TO LOVE THE RIDE ♪ 39 00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:35,434 [rock melody] 40 00:01:35,434 --> 00:01:40,501 ♪ I KNOW WE'LL BE FINE ♪ 41 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:47,267 ♪ WHEN WE LEARN TO LOVE THE RIDE ♪ 42 00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:52,133 ♪ I KNOW WE'LL BE JUST FINE ♪ 43 00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:56,567 ♪ WHEN WE LEARN TO LOVE THE RIDE ♪ 44 00:02:02,801 --> 00:02:07,400 ♪ GOOD MORNING, MY PRINCE ♪ 45 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,300 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ALICE? 46 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,968 I'VE BEEN READING A TASTEFUL GUIDE TO THE FRENCH ARTS. 47 00:02:11,968 --> 00:02:15,167 CHAPTER FIVE SAYS "WAKE HIM WITH YOUR MOUTH." 48 00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:16,467 THE FRENCH ARTS? 49 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:21,000 TIPS AND TRICKS FOR THE MARRIAGE BED. 50 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,968 HOW KINKY. 51 00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,767 IF THERE'S ONE THING I'VE LEARNED 52 00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:26,400 FROM YOUR CHILDREN OVER THE YEARS, 53 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,467 IT'S THAT WHIPPED TOPPING MAKES NOT SO YUMMY THINGS 54 00:02:28,467 --> 00:02:29,734 TASTE YUMMIER. 55 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,667 CUT IT OUT, ALICE. 56 00:02:31,667 --> 00:02:34,934 NO SEX. NOT EVEN A BEEJ. 57 00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:38,567 WELL, FORGIVE ME FOR BEING A POUTY PATTY. 58 00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:42,767 BUT I FEEL VERY UNBECOMING RIGHT NOW. 59 00:02:42,767 --> 00:02:44,767 OH, COME ON, ALICE. 60 00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:04,167 WHAT THE DICKENS? 61 00:03:25,634 --> 00:03:31,567 [breathes heavily] 62 00:03:36,901 --> 00:03:40,300 WHY ARE WE EATING CEREAL ON AN ALICE DAY? 63 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,734 YEAH, SHE WAS GONNA MAKE MICKEY MOUSE PANCAKES. 64 00:03:42,734 --> 00:03:45,267 HOW COME SHE'S NOT DOWN HERE INFANTILIZING US LIKE USUAL? 65 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,767 ALICE ISN'T IN A GREAT MOOD TODAY. 66 00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:49,033 OH, I GET IT. 67 00:03:49,033 --> 00:03:52,601 SHE HAD TO STRAP ON ONE OF THOSE GIANT MAXI PADS SHE WEARS. 68 00:03:52,601 --> 00:03:54,868 ALICE THINKS TAMPONS ARE OF THE DEVIL. 69 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,467 SHE CALLS THEM "SIN MISSILES." 70 00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:58,067 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING TODAY? 71 00:03:58,067 --> 00:03:59,801 I START WORK AT BARNABEEZ, DAD. 72 00:03:59,801 --> 00:04:01,934 TODAY, I GET TO SHADOW ONE OF THE REGULAR BITCHES. 73 00:04:01,934 --> 00:04:03,067 AND IF I DO A GOOD JOB, 74 00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:04,901 I GET TO GO ON THE FLOOR FOR REAL NEXT TIME. 75 00:04:04,901 --> 00:04:06,400 I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU GOT A JOB 76 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,067 WITHOUT DOING AN INTERVIEW. 77 00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:10,734 WHY? LOOK AT ME. 78 00:04:10,734 --> 00:04:13,267 YEAH, BUT YOU DO REALIZE YOU NEED TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE 79 00:04:13,267 --> 00:04:14,667 TO BE A WAITRESS? 80 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:16,567 I JUST THINK YOU'RE JEALOUS BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE RICH, 81 00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:17,701 AND YOU'RE STILL GONNA BE WEARING CLOTHES 82 00:04:17,701 --> 00:04:18,834 THAT MAKE YOU SMELL LIKE MEEMAW. 83 00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:20,400 VINTAGE. 84 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,701 HEY, DAD, I HAVE AN AUDITION TODAY. 85 00:04:22,701 --> 00:04:23,868 REALLY? 86 00:04:23,868 --> 00:04:25,567 YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO TRYOUTS? 87 00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:26,801 THIS ISN'T HOLLYWOOD, MARSH. 88 00:04:26,801 --> 00:04:28,834 IT'S A HIGH SCHOOL PRODUCTION OF GREASE. 89 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:30,267 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BE, A PINK LADY? 90 00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:32,300 I'M GOING FOR KENICKIE. 91 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,267 GOOD LUCK, SON. MM-HMM. 92 00:04:35,267 --> 00:04:38,167 WHY ARE WE EATING THESE GHETTO, TORE-UP CHEERIOS? 93 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:39,868 I MEAN, THEY COME IN A BAG. 94 00:04:39,868 --> 00:04:42,501 (Tara) BECAUSE THE NON-GHETTO ONES ARE $1.50 MORE 95 00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:45,367 AND TASTE EXACTLY THE SAME. 96 00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:47,367 MOM? ALMOST. 97 00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:49,367 THANK CHRIST. 98 00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:51,834 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? 99 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:55,334 A TOASTER WAFFLE? SHOT OF PATRON? 100 00:04:55,334 --> 00:04:56,767 [laughs] 101 00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:58,033 I'M GOOD. 102 00:04:58,033 --> 00:04:59,567 I JUST NEED SOME HELP... 103 00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:03,968 JOINING THE DOTS. 104 00:05:05,968 --> 00:05:09,267 ♪ MY COUNTRY 'TIS TO THE ♪ 105 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,634 ♪ SWEET LAND OF LIBERTY ♪ 106 00:05:12,634 --> 00:05:14,601 ♪ OF THEE I SING ♪ 107 00:05:14,601 --> 00:05:17,467 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE MOUNTING SUCH A TRITE PRODUCTION. 108 00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:19,067 I WANTED TO DO NO EXIT. 109 00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:22,267 EVEN SOMETHING MAINSTREAM, LIKE MILLER, 110 00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:25,267 OR, GOD FORBID, WILDER WOULD BE PREFERABLE TO THIS. 111 00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:27,501 SEX-CRAZED BOBBY SOXERS? 112 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:30,467 IT'S NOT EVEN GOOD ON AN IRONIC LEVEL. 113 00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:31,934 SO WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE? 114 00:05:31,934 --> 00:05:33,300 SANDY. 115 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,868 (man) THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NEXT. 116 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:38,100 (girl) * AND I AM TELLING YOU... * 117 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,367 JASON MAURIO'S AUDITIONING? 118 00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:41,901 NO WAY. I THINK HE'S JUST ON CREW. 119 00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,167 I ALWAYS ASSUMED HE WAS DUMB, 120 00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:49,934 YOU KNOW, BASED ON THE WHOLE SANTANA FETISH. 121 00:05:49,934 --> 00:05:52,400 BUT HIS TAKE ON RASHOMON IN FILM CLASS LAST WEEK 122 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,267 WAS PRETTY GOOD. 123 00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:55,534 I BET. 124 00:05:55,534 --> 00:05:59,067 "DUH, IT WAS ALL, LIKE-- LIKE, BACKWARDS AND SHIT?" 125 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,534 I THINK HE'S NICE. 126 00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:04,067 [loud, off-key singing] * I DON'T WANNA BE FREE * 127 00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:07,033 ♪ I'M STAYIN' I'M STAYIN' ♪ 128 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,133 ♪ AND YOU AND YOU ♪ 129 00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:11,601 HEY. 130 00:06:11,601 --> 00:06:14,667 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE ME ♪ 131 00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,767 ♪ OH OOH OOH OOH ♪ 132 00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:21,868 WHY IS THERE LIPSTICK ON THE DESSERT TOPPING? 133 00:06:21,868 --> 00:06:23,634 OH, KATIE WAS HUFFING. 134 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,901 IT'S NOT FUNNY. 135 00:06:24,901 --> 00:06:27,968 THIS IS ALICE'S SHADE, MAX. FIRE AND ICE. 136 00:06:27,968 --> 00:06:29,367 I'D KNOW IT ANYWHERE. 137 00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:31,801 I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO SCRUB THE LIP PRINTS 138 00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:33,834 OFF THE GIN AND THE COOKING SHERRY, 139 00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,000 AND EVERYTHING ELSE SHE PRETENDS NOT TO DRINK. 140 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,567 ALICE TRIED TO GET IN MY PANTS THIS MORNING. 141 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:39,767 [chuckles] 142 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,367 SO SHE'S USING PROPS NOW? 143 00:06:42,367 --> 00:06:44,801 I DIDN'T TAKE THE BAIT, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW. 144 00:06:44,801 --> 00:06:46,300 HMM, I'M SURPRISED. 145 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:50,000 DON'T YOU HAVE KIND OF A MOMMY BONER FOR ALICE? 146 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,067 SERIOUSLY, I DON'T FIND ALICE ATTRACTIVE. 147 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:54,734 BUT YOU DO LOOK KIND OF HOT IN THAT ONE THING SHE WEARS. 148 00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:56,267 WHAT, THAT PSYCHO PINAFORE THING 149 00:06:56,267 --> 00:06:58,200 THAT MAKES HER LOOK LIKE 150 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,367 THE ROBOT GIRL FROM SMALL WONDER? 151 00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:01,701 IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE INTO NOW? 152 00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:02,968 YOU KNOW, 153 00:07:02,968 --> 00:07:06,133 KIND OF CUTE IN A RETRO WAY. 154 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,501 YOU WANNA FUCK ALICE. 155 00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:09,734 [scoffs] THAT'S MESSED UP. 156 00:07:09,734 --> 00:07:10,934 WHO WOULD WANT TO FUCK ALICE? 157 00:07:10,934 --> 00:07:12,634 YOU'D HIT THAT. 158 00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:15,300 I WOULD NOT HIT THAT. 159 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:16,934 YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND... 160 00:07:16,934 --> 00:07:20,267 YEAH? PROVE IT. 161 00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:23,200 GLADLY. 162 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:50,167 WHAT'S WRONG? 163 00:07:50,167 --> 00:07:53,801 NOTHING. 164 00:07:53,801 --> 00:07:55,567 I'M JUST--I'M, YOU KNOW-- A LOT ON MY MIND. 165 00:07:55,567 --> 00:07:57,901 I'M TIRED. 166 00:07:57,901 --> 00:08:00,734 OH, OKAY. 167 00:08:00,734 --> 00:08:02,067 NO, HEY. 168 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:05,033 NO, IT'S OKAY. YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK ANYWAY. 169 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,767 I'VE GOTTA GET TO THERAPY, 170 00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:13,701 AND I'VE GOT THAT DESIGN CONSULT WITH CHARMAINE'S NEW BOSS. 171 00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:16,901 LET'S--CAN WE TRY THIS LATER? 172 00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:29,601 HOW'S THE NEW REGIME GOING? OR LACK OF REGIME? 173 00:08:29,601 --> 00:08:31,868 [laughs] I SHOULD SAY. 174 00:08:31,868 --> 00:08:35,267 IT'S FINE. 175 00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:38,100 WELL, IT'S CHAOS. 176 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:42,267 BUT, UM, I STILL FEEL GOOD ABOUT GOING OFF THE MEDS. 177 00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:44,200 YOU DO? 178 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,601 WELL, IT SEEMED LIKE THERE WAS NO ALTERNATIVE. 179 00:08:47,601 --> 00:08:48,868 YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS ON THE HALCYEM, 180 00:08:48,868 --> 00:08:50,467 I COULDN'T EAT, I COULDN'T PAINT, 181 00:08:50,467 --> 00:08:56,400 I COULDN'T FUCK. 182 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,300 AND THE KIDS, HOW ARE-- HOW ARE THEY DOING? 183 00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:03,167 THEY'RE GOOD, ACTUALLY. 184 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,567 I THINK THEY'RE KIND OF RELIEVED. 185 00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:08,300 [sighs] 186 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,901 I'M KINDA WORRIED ABOUT MAX THOUGH. 187 00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:15,033 YEAH. 188 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,567 THE ALTERS HAVE BEEN, UH, WELL... 189 00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,901 COMING ON TO HIM. 190 00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:26,467 REALLY? 191 00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:29,100 ALICE WANTS ME TO GET HER PREGNANT AND HAVE A BABY. 192 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,234 ALICE IS THE ONE THAT'S REALLY OLD SCHOOL? 193 00:09:31,234 --> 00:09:34,367 YEAH. 194 00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:37,234 HEY, HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO FUCK THE DUDE? 195 00:09:37,234 --> 00:09:39,567 BUCK? NO, FUCK YOU. 196 00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:41,234 [laughs] 197 00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:42,868 ALL RIGHT, WELL, LOOK. 198 00:09:42,868 --> 00:09:45,868 IF ALICE HAS A BABY, THAT'S A REAL BABY. 199 00:09:45,868 --> 00:09:47,033 LIKE, YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF IT. 200 00:09:47,033 --> 00:09:48,834 IT'S NOT SOME, LIKE, 201 00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,934 IMAGINARY BABY THAT JUST COMES AND GOES, RIGHT? 202 00:09:51,934 --> 00:09:53,501 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 203 00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:54,934 IT'S WEIRD. I'M NOT DOING IT. 204 00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:57,767 HE MADE OUT WITH T, AND THEN STOPPED HIMSELF, LUCKILY. 205 00:09:57,767 --> 00:10:01,934 AND THEN ALICE CAME AT HIM WITH A CAN OF WHIPPED CREAM. 206 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,767 HE SAYS HE RESPECTS OUR ARRANGEMENT, 207 00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:05,667 AND DIDN'T SLEEP WITH THEM, BUT I DON'T KNOW. 208 00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:08,234 I THINK HE'S TEMPTED. 209 00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:10,133 AND YET, THIS MORNING, WHEN I INITIATED SEX, 210 00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:12,100 HE COULDN'T GET HARD. 211 00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,000 SO AM I ONLY HOT WHEN I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON? 212 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,100 I MEAN... 213 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,467 HOW INSULTING IS THAT? 214 00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:23,133 WELL, PEOPLE DESIRE WHAT THEY CAN'T HAVE. 215 00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:26,834 HE CAN HAVE ME. 216 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:30,367 HE CAN'T HAVE ALL OF YOU. 217 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,601 THE ALTERS? 218 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,000 [laughs] 219 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,334 THEY'RE NOT ME. 220 00:10:40,334 --> 00:10:43,067 I ENVY YOUR SEX LIFE, DUDE. 221 00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:46,000 YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE YOU GOT ONE OF THOSE 222 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,234 THREE-PACKS OF CEREAL. 223 00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:49,868 YOU GET, LIKE, A FRUIT LOOP, AND A HONEY SMACK. 224 00:10:49,868 --> 00:10:51,734 YOU JUST DUMP THE MILK IN THE BOX, 225 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,000 AND THEN CHUCK THE ONES YOU DON'T LIKE. 226 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,167 YEAH, WELL, I AIN'T CHUCKIN' ANYONE. 227 00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:58,934 BUT I'M NOT EATING THAT MUCH CEREAL. 228 00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:02,801 HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? 229 00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:28,968 HI! 230 00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:30,267 TIFFANY SAINT JOHN, 231 00:11:30,267 --> 00:11:31,300 BUT YOU CAN CALL ME TIFF. 232 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,300 RUBEN, CLAY, 233 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,968 GET OFF HER. OFF. 234 00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:36,200 COME HERE. SORRY ABOUT THAT. 235 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,200 TARA. 236 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,567 NICE TO MEET YOU. 237 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,267 THESE ARE THE KIDS. COME ON IN. 238 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,434 OH, YOU ARE A BAD BOY. 239 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,167 GREAT SPACE. 240 00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:47,501 OH, THANKS. 241 00:11:47,501 --> 00:11:50,100 JUST GOT US A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR US GIRLS TO NIBBLE ON. 242 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,834 YEAH, SO, UH, YOU WORK WITH MY SISTER? 243 00:11:52,834 --> 00:11:55,033 WELL, NOT SO MUCH WORK AS A WAY OF LIFE. 244 00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:57,400 I'VE BEEN A PART OF THE VITA-SELF TEAM 245 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,000 SINCE I GRADUATED SIX YEARS AGO. 246 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,067 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 247 00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:02,534 CHARMAINE'S ENJOYING IT. 248 00:12:02,534 --> 00:12:06,067 YEAH, YOU KNOW, SHE IS REALLY GROWING AS A REPRESENTATIVE. 249 00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:08,434 NOW, IMPORTANT THINGS. WHAT CAN I GET YOU TO DRINK? 250 00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:10,200 CAB SAUV, WHITE ZIN? 251 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,467 IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY FOR ME. 252 00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:14,868 UH, NO, JUST, UH, SOME WATER FOR ME IS FINE. 253 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,033 OKAY. 254 00:12:18,701 --> 00:12:21,267 I JUST GOT THESE NEW STEMLESS GOBLETS. 255 00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:22,901 SO MODERN, RIGHT? 256 00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:25,501 I JUST THINK THE REGULAR KIND ARE SO STUFFY. 257 00:12:25,501 --> 00:12:27,267 OKAY. 258 00:12:27,267 --> 00:12:30,534 UH, SO YOU KNOW, I COULD START BY SHOWING YOU 259 00:12:30,534 --> 00:12:32,067 SOME OF THE MURALS I'VE DONE RECENTLY. 260 00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:33,167 SAW YOUR WEBSITE ALREADY. 261 00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:34,968 I'M IN LOVE. 262 00:12:34,968 --> 00:12:37,634 LET'S JUST DIVE IN AND TALK CONCEPT. 263 00:12:37,634 --> 00:12:40,334 HOW DO YOU SEE ME? 264 00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:43,667 WELL, I JUST-- I JUST MET YOU, SO... 265 00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:44,868 YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, 266 00:12:44,868 --> 00:12:46,501 I'M, LIKE, A PRETTY EASY TELL, RIGHT? 267 00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:48,868 YOUNG, PROFESSIONAL SINGLE GAL. 268 00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:51,501 A LITTLE BIT CRAZY. SORRY. 269 00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:52,834 WHAT? 270 00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,000 NOTHING, NOTHING. 271 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,033 UM, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING IS? 272 00:12:56,033 --> 00:12:57,067 TELL ME IF I'M WRONG HERE. 273 00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,200 SOMETHING EXOTIC. 274 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,601 YOU KNOW, I WANT SOMETHING 275 00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:03,300 THAT SAYS "THIS IS NOT A CONDO IN OVERLAND PARK, KANSAS. 276 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,133 THIS IS A CONDO IN GUATEMALA." 277 00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:09,667 [laughter] 278 00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:11,534 IS THAT-- I'M A FREAK, RIGHT? 279 00:13:11,534 --> 00:13:13,100 NO, NO, I LOVE THE HACIENDA LOOK. 280 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,367 IT'S, UM-- 281 00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:15,968 YEAH, A STREET SCENE, 282 00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:17,501 MAYBE THROW IN A COUPLE BROWN BABIES, 283 00:13:17,501 --> 00:13:18,801 NOW YOU'RE TALKIN'. 284 00:13:18,801 --> 00:13:20,267 SALUD! 285 00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,334 HI, I'M KATE. 286 00:13:31,334 --> 00:13:34,033 I'M THE NEW SERVER. 287 00:13:34,033 --> 00:13:35,834 I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TRAINING TODAY. 288 00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:40,334 OKAY, I'M TONYA. 289 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,567 GENE. 290 00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:48,133 GENE'S GONNA LOVE YOU. 291 00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:49,400 REALLY? 292 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,434 GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 293 00:13:50,434 --> 00:13:52,133 GENE STEWART, GENERAL MANAGER. 294 00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:54,100 WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU AS A PROBATIONARY MEMBER 295 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,734 OF THE BARNABEEZ FAMILY. 296 00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:58,000 HI! 297 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,167 AND THANKS FOR COMING IN ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. 298 00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:02,434 ARE YOU KIDDING? I AM TOTALLY PSYCHED. 299 00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:05,067 COME ON, WE'LL START THE TOUR. 300 00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:07,200 OH, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET RID OF THIS 301 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,734 BEFORE I LET YOU ON THE FLOOR. 302 00:14:08,734 --> 00:14:09,901 THIS IS A FAMILY RESTAURANT, 303 00:14:09,901 --> 00:14:13,234 NOT A, UH, ROCK RECORD STORE. 304 00:14:13,234 --> 00:14:15,100 YEAH, NO PROBLEM. 305 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,033 YO. 306 00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,634 HOW WAS, UM, YOUR NEW JOB? 307 00:14:34,634 --> 00:14:35,934 AWESOME. 308 00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:37,300 HEY, DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ORDER THE SALAD AT BARNABEEZ, 309 00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,133 IT'S ACTUALLY NOT HARD-BOILED EGG? 310 00:14:39,133 --> 00:14:41,601 IT'S THIS TUBE OF EGG-COLORED STUFF CALLED EGGULAR. 311 00:14:41,601 --> 00:14:44,200 OH, AND THEY ALSO REFILL ALL THE CONDIMENTS 312 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,734 WITH GENERIC INSTEAD OF HEINZ. 313 00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:47,133 AND THEY REUSE THE BREADSTICKS. 314 00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:49,000 BUT IT'S COOL. 315 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,033 DID YOU KNOW ON A SATURDAY YOU COULD MAKE $200? 316 00:14:52,033 --> 00:14:54,434 WHAT PRICE DIGNITY? 317 00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:57,901 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 318 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:03,834 HEY, HONEY. HEY. 319 00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:05,234 IS THAT THE NEW THINGIE? 320 00:15:05,234 --> 00:15:07,968 YEAH, THE CONSULT WENT GREAT. 321 00:15:07,968 --> 00:15:10,901 CHARMAINE ACTUALLY DID ME A FAVOR FOR ONCE. 322 00:15:13,467 --> 00:15:16,200 IT'S A MURAL TOO, NOT SOME BORING BATHROOM JOB. 323 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,133 ARTSY. 324 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:20,601 MM-HMM. 325 00:15:20,601 --> 00:15:22,334 I HAD THIS WEIRD FEELING THOUGH TODAY, 326 00:15:22,334 --> 00:15:26,033 LIKE MAYBE CHARMAINE TOLD THIS TIFFANY WOMAN 327 00:15:26,033 --> 00:15:28,400 ABOUT ME AND MY THING. 328 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,367 CHARMIE SAYS SHE DIDN'T, BUT... 329 00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:32,868 I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 330 00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:35,868 I THINK WE NEED NEW WINE GLASSES. 331 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,734 WHOA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 332 00:15:38,734 --> 00:15:41,200 I'M TRYING TO GET LAID. 333 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,467 I'M SORRY. 334 00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:44,601 I HAVE TO GET THESE CONCEPTS MARKED UP. 335 00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:47,167 I'M ACTUALLY BEING PRODUCTIVE HERE FOR ONCE. 336 00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:50,434 I'M PRODUCTIVE. DO ME. 337 00:15:50,434 --> 00:15:53,868 HONEY, I'M IN THE ZONE RIGHT NOW. 338 00:15:53,868 --> 00:15:55,801 THIS IS KINDA WHAT I NEED, YOU KNOW? 339 00:15:55,801 --> 00:15:59,367 LIKE, A CHANCE TO SHOW THAT I CAN BE FUNCTIONAL, 340 00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:02,834 AND CREATE, 341 00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:06,434 AND CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING OFF MY MEDS. 342 00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:09,367 OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU SPACE. 343 00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:14,100 THANKS. 344 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:16,367 GO. 345 00:16:20,234 --> 00:16:21,501 HEY. 346 00:16:21,501 --> 00:16:22,767 YEAH? 347 00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:25,501 YOU, ME, TOMORROW NIGHT. 348 00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:27,534 I MIGHT EVEN BRING SOME PROPS. 349 00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:32,334 TOMORROW NIGHT. 350 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,033 SHIT. 351 00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:41,501 HEY. 352 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,734 OH, HEY, MAN. 353 00:16:43,734 --> 00:16:45,834 I WAS WONDERING WHICH YOU LIKED BETTER, 354 00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:48,801 ABRAXAS OR MOONFLOWER? 355 00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,200 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 356 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,701 SANTANA. 357 00:16:51,701 --> 00:16:53,601 I WONDERED WHICH ALBUM YOU LIKE BETTER? 358 00:16:53,601 --> 00:16:55,167 I KNOW MOST FANS ARE PRETTY DIVIDED. 359 00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:56,767 I KNOW I AM. 360 00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:59,167 OH. 361 00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:01,334 OH, 'CAUSE OF THE T-SHIRT I WAS WEARING YESTERDAY? 362 00:17:01,334 --> 00:17:03,000 YOU KNOW, MAN, I DON'T REALLY KNOW ANY SANTANA MUSIC. 363 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,834 MY DAD JUST PICKED IT UP FOR ME AT A CONCERT. 364 00:17:04,834 --> 00:17:07,300 IT'S COMFORTABLE, SO I... 365 00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:08,901 OH. 366 00:17:08,901 --> 00:17:11,267 BUT, HEY, MAYBE YOU CAN PLAY ME SOME OF THEIR STUFF SOMETIME? 367 00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:12,834 SURE. 368 00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:15,234 SO, UH, YOU TRYING OUT FOR THIS, OR-- 369 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:16,701 ME? NO. 370 00:17:16,701 --> 00:17:17,901 NO, I DO A.V. 371 00:17:17,901 --> 00:17:19,834 LIGHTING AND DESIGN. THAT SORT OF THING. 372 00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:22,033 BESIDES, GREASE IS SO LAME. 373 00:17:22,033 --> 00:17:23,667 IT'S SO GAY, RIGHT? 374 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,801 [nervous laughter] 375 00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:30,534 YOU KNOW, I-- I'M WORKING ON THIS... 376 00:17:30,534 --> 00:17:33,000 EXPERIMENTAL THEATRE THING RIGHT NOW. 377 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,601 WE'RE STILL CASTING. YOU SHOULD COME CHECK IT OUT. 378 00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:38,767 EXPERIMENTAL? YEAH. 379 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,100 IT'S PRETTY CUTTING EDGE. 380 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,133 YOU DON'T SEE STUFF LIKE THIS IN OVERLAND PARK THAT OFTEN. 381 00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:44,567 COOL. 382 00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:45,868 YOU KNOW REDEEMER FREE CHURCH? 383 00:17:45,868 --> 00:17:47,634 THE HUGE THING OFF THE HIGHWAY 4? 384 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:50,601 THAT'S WHERE WE MEET. COME AROUND 8:00? 385 00:17:50,601 --> 00:17:53,567 YEAH. SO...YEAH. 386 00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:56,968 SHOULD I BRING ANYTHING, LIKE MOVEMENT CLOTHING? 387 00:17:56,968 --> 00:17:59,667 NAH, JUST YOUR BAD SELF. 388 00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:03,334 JUST MY BAD SELF. 389 00:18:03,334 --> 00:18:06,567 [bell rings] 390 00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:08,801 SO THIS PART HERE, THE WATER, 391 00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,834 UH, WOULD HAVE KIND OF A TROMPE L'OEIL TYPE FEEL. 392 00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,501 OH, LIKE A FAUX FINISH. 393 00:18:12,501 --> 00:18:13,601 KIND OF, YEAH. 394 00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:15,267 LIKE, UH, GIVES YOU THE ILLUSION OF DEPTH. 395 00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:16,367 OH, I NEED THAT! 396 00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:19,133 OH, I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT! 397 00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:22,634 I GOTTA SAY, TARA. I AM IMPRESSED. 398 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,767 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT. 399 00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:26,334 BUT AS THEY SAY AT VITA-SELF, 400 00:18:26,334 --> 00:18:27,834 YOU'VE REALLY POWERJAMMED IT. 401 00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:29,067 YOU KNOW, YOU'VE CONQUERED IT 402 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:32,133 WITH YOUR CREATIVITY AND YOUR TALENT. 403 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:34,067 WHAT ARE YOU REFERRING TO? 404 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:38,767 OH, UM, I KNOW ABOUT THE-- THE MPD. 405 00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:40,467 THE MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES. 406 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,033 UM, MY COUSIN'S BEST FRIEND FROM COLLEGE HAS IT, 407 00:18:43,033 --> 00:18:46,367 SO I TOTALLY KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. 408 00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,334 IT'S D.I.D., ACTUALLY. 409 00:18:48,334 --> 00:18:50,200 THEY RECLASSIFIED IT. 410 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,400 YOU KNOW, THE WEIRD THING IS, 411 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,534 IS, LIKE, I KINDA FEEL LIKE EVERYONE HAS IT, 412 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,067 YOU KNOW, A LITTLE BIT. 413 00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:57,467 IT'S LIKE, OVER THE COURSE OF A DAY, 414 00:18:57,467 --> 00:18:58,868 HOW MANY DIFFERENT WOMEN DO WE HAVE TO BE? 415 00:18:58,868 --> 00:19:01,334 YOU KNOW, THE WORK TIFFANY, 416 00:19:01,334 --> 00:19:05,367 OR SEXY TIFFANY, OR DOG OWNER TIFFANY? 417 00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:06,667 YOU KNOW, IT'S HARD, RIGHT? 418 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,200 [door opens] 419 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,868 HEY, YOU GUYS. 420 00:19:09,868 --> 00:19:11,868 OH, HEY! 421 00:19:11,868 --> 00:19:13,267 [dog barks] 422 00:19:13,267 --> 00:19:14,968 TARA. 423 00:19:14,968 --> 00:19:16,501 OH, UH, TIFFANY, 424 00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:18,567 I JUST WANTED TO DROP OFF THE SALES REPORTS 425 00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:19,934 FROM LAST WEEK. 426 00:19:19,934 --> 00:19:21,501 YEAH, YOU CAN JUST PUT THEM OVER THERE, SWEETIE, THANKS. 427 00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:23,701 CHARMAINE, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 428 00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:26,767 SURE. 429 00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,167 YOU TOLD HER? 430 00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:33,434 IT WAS A TEAM TRUST BUILDING EXERCISE, OKAY? 431 00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:34,834 I MEAN, IT WAS INTENSE. 432 00:19:34,834 --> 00:19:36,400 WE WERE ASKED TO SHARE OUR GREATEST TRIBULATION. 433 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,801 YOUR GREATEST TRIBULATION, NOT MINE. 434 00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:41,167 YOU HAD NO RIGHT. IT WAS PRIVATE AND INTIMATE. 435 00:19:41,167 --> 00:19:43,734 MY TEAM LEADER WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS ASS CANCER, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 436 00:19:43,734 --> 00:19:45,234 I'M LIKE ASS CANCER TO YOU? 437 00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:47,100 [knocks] NO. 438 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,200 HEY, GUYS. 439 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,300 LOOK, I DID NOT MEAN TO CAUSE TROUBLE. 440 00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,467 I AM SO SORRY. I WAS JUST--I WAS CURIOUS. 441 00:19:52,467 --> 00:19:54,934 BUT, TARA, I WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING. 442 00:19:54,934 --> 00:19:56,300 I LIVE MY LIFE 443 00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:57,501 BY CERTAIN CREDOS. 444 00:19:57,501 --> 00:20:00,000 NO CROSS TALK AND NO JUDGMENT, ALL RIGHT? 445 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,200 SO YOU CAN TRUST ME. 446 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:06,567 FINE. 447 00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:08,400 OKAY. 448 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,400 I WAS MOLESTED. 449 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,100 OH, MY GOD. 450 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,067 YEAH, I KNOW. 451 00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:16,567 OH, MY GOD. 452 00:20:16,567 --> 00:20:18,501 I'M STRONGER FOR IT. 453 00:20:18,501 --> 00:20:19,968 I'M ACTUALLY GLAD IT HAPPENED, IN A WAY. 454 00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:22,701 SO YESTERDAY WE TALKED ABOUT CONDUCT AND HYGIENE. 455 00:20:22,701 --> 00:20:23,734 TODAY, WE GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. 456 00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:25,167 NOW, BEFORE YOU SHADOW TONYA, 457 00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:26,400 I WANT TO SHOW YOU A FEW LAST-MINUTE 458 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,133 THINGS ABOUT OUR KITCHEN. 459 00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:30,634 THAT'S GRAMBO. HE HAS A GLASS EYE. 460 00:20:30,634 --> 00:20:34,234 NOW HERE'S AN AREA OF INTEREST FOR ALL SERVERS. 461 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,000 THIS IS THE PIZZAZZING STATION. 462 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,300 THIS IS THE LAST STOP 463 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,334 FOR EACH ORDER BEFORE IT GOES TO THE CUSTOMER. 464 00:20:39,334 --> 00:20:40,801 NOW, IT'S YOUR JOB, KATE, 465 00:20:40,801 --> 00:20:42,400 TO PIZZAZZ IT UP. 466 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,200 THIS CHART SHOWS WHAT 'ZAZZ GOES WHERE. 467 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,033 LIKE IT SAYS IN YOUR PACKET, 468 00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:50,100 IT'S THE LITTLE DEETS THAT MAKE A BIG DIFF. 469 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,434 OKAY. 470 00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:54,467 [percussive music] 471 00:20:54,467 --> 00:21:02,400 ♪ ♪ 472 00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:09,100 ♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING IN THE CORNER ♪ 473 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,534 ♪ I'VE BEEN SNEAKING DOWN THE HALLWAY ♪ SHIT. 474 00:21:11,534 --> 00:21:14,334 ♪ I'VE BEEN TAKING ALL THE POTIONS ♪ 475 00:21:14,334 --> 00:21:17,000 ♪ GET MY SHARE OF EVERY ONE ♪ 476 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,167 ♪ GET MY SHARE OF EVERY ONE ♪ 477 00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:21,834 ♪ I GET MY SHARE OF EVERY ONE ♪ 478 00:21:21,834 --> 00:21:27,801 ♪ ♪ 479 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:34,133 KATE, GREAT JOB TODAY. CAN I SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE? 480 00:21:39,434 --> 00:21:41,100 HERE'S MY OFFICE, 481 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:45,501 IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED IN UPPER MANAGEMENT SOMEDAY. 482 00:21:45,501 --> 00:21:50,234 AS YOU CAN SEE, LIFE IS PRETTY SWEET. 483 00:21:50,234 --> 00:21:52,033 OH. 484 00:21:52,033 --> 00:21:54,634 THAT'S ME WITH DON DOKKEN. 485 00:21:54,634 --> 00:21:56,868 WOW. 486 00:21:56,868 --> 00:21:58,167 WHEN THEY COME THROUGH OVERLAND PARK, 487 00:21:58,167 --> 00:22:00,400 THEY WANT TO EAT AT BARNABEEZ. 488 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,834 REALLY? 489 00:22:01,834 --> 00:22:03,667 LIKE, WHO'S THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON THAT YOU'VE SEEN? 490 00:22:08,767 --> 00:22:11,701 THERE'S SOMETHING I LIKE TO SHOW EVERY NEW EMPLOYEE. 491 00:22:19,067 --> 00:22:21,601 WELL, WHAT IS IT? 492 00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,901 YOU MIGHT HAVE ALREADY HEARD THIS ABOUT ME, 493 00:22:23,901 --> 00:22:26,667 BUT I USED TO WORK AT THE GROUND ZERO BARNABEEZ. 494 00:22:26,667 --> 00:22:28,934 WHAT? 495 00:22:28,934 --> 00:22:31,000 THE LOWER MANHATTAN FRANCHISE. 496 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,901 IT WAS A BLOCK, MAYBE TWO, THREE BLOCKS 497 00:22:33,901 --> 00:22:36,567 FROM THE WORLD TRADE CENTER. 498 00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:39,834 I WAS THE, UH, ASSISTANT MANAGER THERE FOR A YEAR. 499 00:22:42,634 --> 00:22:45,367 THEN, UH-- 500 00:22:45,367 --> 00:22:47,400 THEN SHIT GOT REAL. 501 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,567 WHAT WAS IT LIKE? 502 00:22:51,567 --> 00:22:56,200 IT WAS HORRIFYING. 503 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,934 I WAS IN THE FLORIDA PANHANDLE WHEN I GOT THE CALL. 504 00:22:58,934 --> 00:23:01,601 I WAS VISITING A BUDDY OF MINE 505 00:23:01,601 --> 00:23:03,300 FROM RESTAURANT MANAGEMENT SCHOOL. 506 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:07,167 SOMEONE WAS ABLE TO GRAB THIS FOR ME. 507 00:23:10,267 --> 00:23:12,868 SO WHAT, DID, LIKE, ANYONE FROM THE RESTAURANT DIE? 508 00:23:15,033 --> 00:23:17,901 SURE AS HELL COULD HAVE. 509 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,334 LOOK... 510 00:23:24,334 --> 00:23:26,200 I KNOW I MIGHT SEEM LIKE A REAL TASK MASTER, 511 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,567 BUT THAT'S PART OF MY CAREER. 512 00:23:28,567 --> 00:23:31,634 I WORK HARD, AND I PLAY HARD. 513 00:23:31,634 --> 00:23:34,534 NOW, IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, 514 00:23:34,534 --> 00:23:38,601 OR YOU, I DON'T KNOW, JUST WANT TO RAP, 515 00:23:38,601 --> 00:23:40,167 LET ME KNOW. 516 00:23:46,067 --> 00:23:49,367 SHIT, UH, THAT WAS MY LAST MATCH. 517 00:23:49,367 --> 00:23:50,934 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO MONKEYFUCK. 518 00:24:02,767 --> 00:24:05,767 [light acoustic music] 519 00:24:05,767 --> 00:24:13,734 ♪ ♪ 520 00:24:23,901 --> 00:24:26,834 TARA, I BELIEVE WE HAVE A DATE. 521 00:24:36,801 --> 00:24:38,200 HELL HOUSE? 522 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,300 IS THAT THE NAME OF THE PLAY OR SOMETHING? 523 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:42,067 OH, MY GOD, I'VE HEARD OF THESE. 524 00:24:42,067 --> 00:24:43,300 HELL HOUSES. 525 00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:44,767 THEY'RE LIKE HAUNTED HOUSES, 526 00:24:44,767 --> 00:24:46,367 EXCEPT THEY'RE RUN BY A CHURCH, 527 00:24:46,367 --> 00:24:49,267 AND INSTEAD OF DRACULA, AND MONSTERS, AND SHIT, 528 00:24:49,267 --> 00:24:52,601 IT'S ALL FREAKY JESUSY STUFF. 529 00:24:52,601 --> 00:24:55,000 IT'S HOMOPHOBIC AND ANTI-FEMINIST, 530 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,334 AND IT'S NOT THEATRE. 531 00:24:56,334 --> 00:24:58,267 I--UGH, I'M OUTTA HERE. 532 00:24:58,267 --> 00:25:00,234 WAIT, COULD WE NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS 533 00:25:00,234 --> 00:25:01,234 FOR FIVE MINUTES? 534 00:25:04,968 --> 00:25:06,167 HEY. 535 00:25:06,167 --> 00:25:08,033 THANKS FOR COMING. HI. 536 00:25:08,033 --> 00:25:10,400 HEY, MAN. 537 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,000 UH, IS THIS A RELIGIOUS THING? 538 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,234 TECHNICALLY, YES. 539 00:25:15,234 --> 00:25:16,701 BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE CHRISTIAN. 540 00:25:16,701 --> 00:25:18,400 IT'S ACTING. 541 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,734 IT'S WAY MORE HARDCORE THAN ANYTHING 542 00:25:19,734 --> 00:25:20,934 YOU GET TO DO IN SCHOOL. 543 00:25:20,934 --> 00:25:23,434 I GUESS. 544 00:25:23,434 --> 00:25:25,167 HEY, YOU CAN TRUST ME. 545 00:25:25,167 --> 00:25:26,667 ARE YOU COOL WITH TAKING OFF YOUR SHIRT? 546 00:25:28,367 --> 00:25:32,100 WE NEED AN AIDS PATIENT BEING FLOGGED IN HELL. 547 00:25:33,901 --> 00:25:36,701 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, BUCK? 548 00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:40,767 UH, I THINK YOUR OLD LADY GOT A LITTLE GUN SHY. 549 00:25:40,767 --> 00:25:43,033 WHY'S THAT? 550 00:25:43,033 --> 00:25:44,801 NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEMS IN THE BEDROOM BEFORE. 551 00:25:44,801 --> 00:25:47,067 THAT'S THE ONE PLACE WE'RE NOT FUCKED UP. 552 00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:51,200 WELL, TARA THINKS YOU WANT TO GET BUSY WITH THE ALTERS. 553 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,467 T AND ALICE, I MEAN. NOT ME. 554 00:25:53,467 --> 00:25:56,100 WE KNOW YOU AIN'T NO HOMO. 555 00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:58,234 ANYWAY, SHE THINKS YOU BEEN BANGIN' HER 556 00:25:58,234 --> 00:26:01,534 WHILE SHE WASN'T HER, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 557 00:26:01,534 --> 00:26:03,634 YEAH. 558 00:26:03,634 --> 00:26:06,334 IT'S TOUGH. 559 00:26:06,334 --> 00:26:10,133 BECAUSE I JUST WANT TARA. 560 00:26:10,133 --> 00:26:11,834 I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT ME 561 00:26:11,834 --> 00:26:13,100 TO SLEEP WITH THE ALTERS. 562 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:14,968 SHE'S NOT EVEN CONSCIOUS. 563 00:26:14,968 --> 00:26:17,200 OH, HELL. IT AIN'T ALL THAT BAD. 564 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,734 IF I WERE YOU, I'D TAKE FAIR ADVANTAGE 565 00:26:18,734 --> 00:26:20,534 OF THE SITUATION. 566 00:26:20,534 --> 00:26:22,801 OH, REALLY? 567 00:26:22,801 --> 00:26:25,234 YEAH, REMEMBER THAT CHICK I SCORED WITH LAST YEAR? 568 00:26:25,234 --> 00:26:28,133 RUNS THE, UH--THE SNACK BAR DOWN AT THE BOWLING ALLEY? 569 00:26:28,133 --> 00:26:29,901 MAN, SHE WAS DRUNK AS FUCK, 570 00:26:29,901 --> 00:26:31,667 BUT I DIDN'T LET THAT STOP ME. 571 00:26:31,667 --> 00:26:33,300 OF COURSE, I GOT CRABS. 572 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,667 YEAH, I REMEMBER. 573 00:26:35,667 --> 00:26:36,834 WE'RE MEN, YOU KNOW? 574 00:26:36,834 --> 00:26:39,133 WE JUST NEED TO STICK IT IN SOMEWHERE. 575 00:26:39,133 --> 00:26:43,133 LADIES ARE DIFFERENT. THEY GOT HIGHS AND LOWS. 576 00:26:43,133 --> 00:26:47,567 YOU JUST GOTTA RIDE THE LIGHTNING. 577 00:26:47,567 --> 00:26:48,801 [clears throat] 578 00:26:48,801 --> 00:26:50,834 I GUESS. 579 00:26:50,834 --> 00:26:53,901 ME, I TAKE IT WHERE I CAN GET IT. 580 00:26:53,901 --> 00:26:55,968 IF I HADN'T HAVE GOT MY DICK BLOWN OFF IN 'NAM, 581 00:26:55,968 --> 00:26:57,567 I'D BE GETTIN' IT REGULAR. 582 00:26:57,567 --> 00:26:59,934 YOU WEREN'T IN 'NAM. 583 00:26:59,934 --> 00:27:03,167 YOU'RE ON THIN ICE, MAXIE. 584 00:27:03,167 --> 00:27:04,667 NOW WHAT YOU WANNA WATCH ON THE IDIOT BOX? 585 00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:08,100 WE GOT UFC OR PORN. 586 00:27:08,100 --> 00:27:09,501 UH, PORN, I GUESS. 587 00:27:09,501 --> 00:27:11,901 WHAT KIND? 588 00:27:11,901 --> 00:27:15,300 I GOT BIG GIRLS, BLACK GIRLS, 589 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,367 BIG BLACK GIRLS, 590 00:27:17,367 --> 00:27:20,300 AMPUTEES. AMATEURS. 591 00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:25,000 HECK, AIN'T WE ALL? 592 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,200 WOW. 593 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:31,634 THE SHORT AND CURLIES ON A FINE FILLY. 594 00:27:31,634 --> 00:27:33,501 LOOK AT THESE BIG GIANT TITTIES. 595 00:27:33,501 --> 00:27:36,234 LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT. 596 00:27:36,234 --> 00:27:38,367 IS THAT REAL? JUICIEST JUGS. 597 00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:40,534 THIS BITCH IS COOL. 598 00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:42,934 OH, MY GOD. THAT THERE IS A GOLDEN SHOWER. 599 00:27:42,934 --> 00:27:44,701 DON'T LOOK AT ME. 600 00:27:44,701 --> 00:27:47,968 [laughter] 601 00:27:47,968 --> 00:27:49,200 WHERE DO YOU GET THIS STUFF? 602 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,267 ♪ GOD THROWS DARTS AT STARS IN THE NIGHT ♪ 603 00:27:53,267 --> 00:27:55,601 ♪ I HAD A KITE ♪ 604 00:27:55,601 --> 00:27:57,567 ♪ YOU HAD A TRAMPOLINE ♪ 605 00:27:57,567 --> 00:28:00,634 ♪ AND A BMX BIKE ♪ 606 00:28:00,634 --> 00:28:03,534 ♪ YOU DIDN'T EVEN LIKE ♪ 607 00:28:03,534 --> 00:28:06,567 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 608 00:28:06,567 --> 00:28:08,767 ♪ ♪ 609 00:28:08,767 --> 00:28:09,834 ♪ I DON'T WANT TO SAY ♪ 610 00:28:09,834 --> 00:28:11,234 ♪ IT'S BREAKING MY HEART ♪ 611 00:28:11,234 --> 00:28:14,367 ♪ BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START ♪ 612 00:28:14,367 --> 00:28:16,934 ♪ OLD FRIENDS ARE FALLING APART ♪ 613 00:28:16,934 --> 00:28:19,767 ♪ AND TIME ♪ 614 00:28:19,767 --> 00:28:21,601 ♪ LIKE A NAME ON MY MIND ♪ 615 00:28:21,601 --> 00:28:24,367 ♪ COVER THEM BOTH IN WINE ♪ 616 00:28:24,367 --> 00:28:28,434 ♪ I MISS THE STRAIGHT, STRAIGHT LINES ♪ 617 00:28:28,484 --> 00:28:33,034 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42974

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